telnet://legends.terminal.org:7575/ i love you chris, and for you vouyers, gimmie some privacy every now and then, ok plz? i had no idea. and if you still dont listen, http://dreamscape.org/atm/ go to http://dreamscape.org/ok/ if you want the full story, but just go to http://illusion.org/swim/ and click on the pictures of me being too cute. http://dreamscape.org/swim/ -- i posted about 100 something pictures to coincide with the rest. also see main http://illusion.org the world is your pinball machine. music too. 10% of song/slice, 90% of song/slice dance 1>> 1<< 1>> (wait 1) 3>> (wait) 3>> etc.. -:- sue- [sue@120.sm8.dialup.garlic.net] has joined #california also check out campbell california. start at the coffee shop, check out the tree in the back. when you have 4 choices, you're probably at a 10. there is a place you can go where you will be in the middle of the parking lot at 42. if you take 33 paces forward, you'll be off the chart. back at the 42, there's a dope ass view. check out the only road you can see. its amazing. i believe now. :) you meant Campbell in San Jose? -:- sunF [sunf@adsl-67-127-233-70.dsl.irvnca.pacbell.net] has joined #california yes mmm mm good campbell directly adjacent to los gatos, the cats. ;) oh, do you live nearby there? question, how do i get the browsing tabs displayed on the bottom instead of on the top, using mozilla's firefox? yes 100 union ave #32 oh while i still got rent anyway (not actually anymore) *Shrug* im destined to be a world teacher acayip, very maitreya I like watch movie over there Like the shops in Santana Row anybody want ninja manuals? hehe oh and i give GREAT credibility to http://dreamscape.org/runic-stacking.txt no joke no joke listen to crouching tiger hidden dragon. the sounds!' oh you must like Chinese movie *grinning like a cat* *laughing like raiden* *giggling like a schoolgirl* hm ;) I m very tired you and me both why not go to sleep? why not stay up? :) Infinite answers - Repeatedly apply the algorithm: Literally, in more ways than one, and in every possible way! :) Look in your wallet. Find one. Translate every single thing you see. And then look for the signs. It's worth it. [i had a funny feelin about it at first, i had alot of doubt and alot of questions too. and now i got infinite questions and infinite answers. it kicks ass. chips cant do this. not like this. *grin*] [and dont be mad at me for comin acrost as better than anybody or arrogant, it was really really funny from my perspective every single step of the way. it will be for you too. just not yet. :) you have to appreciate it for what it is. dont go givin it away too easy! not yet :) i think were ready though. it found its way everywhere. check that out. it put us here. :) the simplest answers make the most intricate things happen. check that out.] 42 :) literally and in more ways than OnE, and in every possible way. clever, creative, genius, and simple. ;) rinse and repeat. ;) next? kindof like rubbin two clues together. ;) its every single bird i know with OnE stOnE ;) army of OnE ;) there more than OnE way to do it ;) its like givin you a dollar ;) it was literally in front of me the entire time ;) and it literally is what happened first ;) its so good the comments practicly write themselves ;) all people could make the same massonic calibur judgements if they had the same information ;) look and keep lookin. dont put all your eggs in one basket. there arent enough baskets for these many anyway. cool huh? i 1up'd myself like a mushroom ;) a green OnE ;) it just takes OnE ;) wink at OnE person drivin past today ;) richard bach - OnE 1+1 = 2 that is literally too good ;) theres OnE in your pocket OnE liners forever at level OnE ;) ar1stocrat1c warr1or ;) code poet and suddenly numerology has its place OnE hundred and eleven feet in the ground ;) al gore 1nvented the 1nternet - as much as you or i did ;) 1 connected the dots ;) 1'd like to solve the puzzle please ;) this is just the beginning~!!@#!@#!@#!@#!@# :) it literally was under our noses and flaunted in our face EVERYWHERE the entire time. food and poison at the same time! you even recited this shit in school. holy crap!!! 1 got connectionz!@#!@# and it only takes 1 whos with me in liberating the oxford dictionary in name of democracy? FUCK! hahahahahhahahhahhahahah [it was a shotgun breakthrough the comments really write themselves:) happy++.*?:):)] i appreciate this so much! [legally. it's worth infinite riches.] i could sit here and keep writin this shit, but this is too good :) this pretty much takes care everything everybody needs ever. i love ya'll :) *smile* basically i figured the joke out. *grin* except its on everyone including me! :) hehe i thought i understood it at face value myself too! :) today is a good day for humanity :) count the stars:) basically the 'literally and in more ways than OnE, and in every possible way, and in the way everyone was least expecting' analogy was the key in and of itself. old english. intuitively, it is the source of infinite answers and infinite questions. it contains the bigger answer :) look for yourself. figure it out. [i think people can figure this one out. really! i dont really think fame or money are really that important when a dollar is suddenly priceless for what it offers.] [everytime i think about it, i think of somethin different that might actually make it worth even more. who knew there was such a thing as greater than priceless?] [just the other day i had no idea that there was something called instantiation. i thought it basically came down to generalization and specialization. i was wrong.] the whole world needs as many copies of the oxford dictionary as possible. infinite riches. What if everybody could easily do analysis on something this cool anyway? Theres alotta important clues in it. So many!!!:) I thought this was multiversally relevant too! If you ever read this, what did it make you feel now? do you remember what you felt the first time you did, if you did? why didnt you? also i really have to point this out too (thank you so much): "The more enlightened we become, the more we can't be lived up to by anybody anywhere. The more we learn, the more we'd better expect to live by ourselves. You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. -- Love! So intense! If it were green, it would be a green so transcendently green that even the Principle of Green couldn't have imagined.. like standing on a huge ball of, like standing on the sun but not the sun, there were no ends, no horizons to it, so bright and NO GLARE, I looked eyes open into the brightest.. and yet I had no eyes I COULDNT STAND THE JOY of that Love.. It was as if I dropped my last candle in a black cavern and after a while a friend, to help me see, she lit a hydrogen bomb. -- I was sitting here, after you left, closed my eyes... Light, but it wasn't light. Brighter than that, but no glare, no hurt from it. LOVE, not the fake broken syllable, but Love that IS! like no love I've ever imagined. AND LOVE! IS ALL: THAT MATTERS! Words, but they weren't words, or even ideas. Has this ever.. do you know? -- Dearest Richard, It's so difficult to know how and where to begin. I've been thinking long and hard through many ideas trying to find a way... I finally struck one little thought, a musical metaphor, through which I have been able to think clearly and find understanding, if not satisfaction, and I want to share it with you. So please bear with me while we have yet another music Lesson. The most commonly used form for large classical works is sonata form. It is the basis of almost all symphonies and concertos. It consists of three main sections: the exposition or opening, in which little ideas, themes, bits and pieces are set forth and introduced to each other; the development, in which these tiny ideas and motifs are explored to their fullest, expanded, often go from major (happy) to minor (unhappy) and back again, and are developed and woven together in greater complexity until at last there is: the recapitulation, in which there is a restatement, a glorious expression of the full, rich maturity to which the tiny ideas have grown through the development procses. How does this apply to us, you may ask, if you haven't already guessed. I see us stuck in a never-ending opening. At first, it was the real thing, and sheer delight. It is the part of a relationship in which you are at your best: fun, charming, excited, exciting, interesting, intrested. It is a time when you're most comfortable and most lovable because you do not feel the need to mobilize your defenses, so your partner gets to cuddle a warm human being instead of a giant cactus. It is a time of delight for both, and it's no wonder you like openings so much you strive to make your life a series of them. But beginnings cannot be prolonged endlessly, they cannot simply state and restate and restate themselves. They must move on and develop-- or die of boredom. Not so, you say. You must get away, have changes, other people, other places so you can come back to a relationship as if it were new, and have constant new beginnings. We moved on a a protracted series of reopenings. Some were caused by business seperations that were necessary, but unnecessarily harsh and severe for two so close as we. Some were manufactured by you in order to provide still more opportunities to return to the newness you so desire. Obviously, the development section is anathema to you. For it is where you may discover that all you have is a collection of severely limited ideas that won't work no matter how much creativity you bring to them or even worse for you: that you have the makings of something glorious, a symphony, in which case there is work to be done: depths must be plumbed, and seperate entities carefully woven together, the better to glorify themselves and each other. I suppose it is analogous to that moment in writing when a book idea must be/cannot be run from. We have undoubtedly gone further than you ever intended to go. And we have stopped far short of what I saw as our next logical and lovely steps. I have seen development with you continually arrested, and have come to believe that we will never make more than sporadic attempts at all our learning potential, our amazing similarities of interest, no matter how many years we may have- because we will never have unbroken time together. So the growth we prize so highly and know is possible becomes the impossible. We have both had a vision of something wonderful that awaits us. Yet we cannot get there from here. I am faced with a solid wall of defenses and you have the need to build more and still more. I long for the richness and fullness of further development, and you will search for ways to avoid it as long as we're together. Both of us are frustrated; you unable to go back, I unable to go forward, in a constant state of struggle, with clouds and darker shadows over the limited time you allow us. To feel your constant resistance to me, to the growth of this something wonderful, as if I and it were something horrible- to experience the various forms the resistance takes, some of them cruel- often causes me pain on one level or another. I have a record of our time together, and have taken a honest look at it. It has saddened me, and even shocked me, but it has been helpful in facing the truth. I look back to the days in early July, and the seven weeks that followed, as our only truly happy period. That was the opening, and it was beautiful. Then there were the seperations with their fierce and to me, inexplicable cutoffs- and the equally fierce avoidance-resistance on your returns. Away and apart or together and apart, it is too unhappy. I am watching me become a creature who cries alot, a creature who even must cry a lot, for it almost seems that pity is necessary before kindness is possible. And I know I have not come this far in life to become pitiful. To be told that canceling your date to help me when I was in a state of crisis "wouldn't work for you" brought the truth crushing down on me with the force of an avalanche. Facing facts as honestly as I can, I know I cannot continue, no matter how much I might wish to do so; I cannot bend further. I hope you will not see this as the breaking of an agreement, but rather the continuation of the many, many endings you have begun. I think it is something we both know must be. I must accept that I have failed in my effort to let you know the joys of caring. Richard, my precious friend, this is said softly, even tenderly and lovingly. And the soft tones do not camoflage an udnerlying anger: they are real. There are no accusations no blames or faults. I am simply trying to understand, and to stop the pain. I am stating what I have been forced to accept: that you and I are never going to have a development, much less the glorious climactic expression of a relationship grown to full blossom. I have felt if anything in my life deserved departure from previously established patterns, going beyond all known limitations, this relationship did. I suppose I might just be justified in feeling humiliated about the lengths to which I have gone to make it work. Instead, I feel proud of myself and glad to know I recognized the rare and lovely opportunity we had while we had it, and gave all I could, in the purest and highest sense, to preserve it. I am comforted by this now. In this awful moment of ending, I can honestly say I do not know of one thing I might do to get us to that beautiful future we could have had. Despite the pain, I'm happy to have known you in this special way, and will always treature the time we've had together. I have grown with you, and learned much from you, and I know I have made major positive contributions to you. We are both better people for having touched one another. At this late juncture, it occurs to me that a chess metaphor might also be useful. Chess is a game in which each party has its own singular objective even as it engages the other; a mid-game in which a struggle develops and intensifies and bits and pieces of each side are lost, both sides diminished an end-game in which one traps and paralyzes the other. I think you see life as a chess game, I see it as a sonata. And because of these differences, both the king and queen are lost, and the song is silenced. I am still your friend, as I know you are mine. I send this with a heart full of the deep and tender love and high regard you know I have for you, as well as profound sorrow than an opportunity so filled with promise, so rare and beautiful, had to go unfulfilled. --(Leslie Parish)" (pages 30,145-146,231-236, A Bridge Acrost Forever)(c++);) [everything here aint even mine. i say that to the tune of al gore. :) *hi5* i even took my resume off the internet. check that out. i seriously just want to help you all help yourselves. i didnt even put it there in first place. i'm just tired of bein laughed at as much as you are.] [i think the most important thing is to see the responsibility and the burden this is for what it is. and to fear everything enough to never quit trying.] [somebody cool said to me, nobody is ready for the answers they arent asking the questions for. this pretty much takes care of the questions requirement and the answers requirement.] [i actually had my access taken away because of this. can you believe that? wow!] [who knew there were secret dictionaries? sheesh.] [i wouldnt do somethin that! :)] [i'm really just pointing out something that was right there the entire time that was taken for granted.] [less does more ya know. hehehe. (i really dont have enough time to make enough analogies. what do you think?)] 10:50 i wanna retire. 10:50 who doesnt 10:50 thats why its a riddle 10:51 sheesh 10:51 you have to care enough to figure it out. 10:51 just like it was. 10:51 only i'm trying to suggest that it's so damn important that you should care. 10:51 and never stop caring. 10:52 its why were here in the first place. 10:53 the essence of liberty. 10:53 which aught to be remembered. 10:53 * ???/#in a ghetto near you - seriously - bangs her head on her desk 10:53 and never forgetten again. 10:53 forgotten. 10:53 *sigh* 10:53 im so exhausted 10:54 i tried to provide everything my son would ever need for his entire life as best i could and ended up finding a way to provide everything everyone would ever need for their extended lives. 10:54 at the expense of my own. 10:55 are you talking about cold fusion or something. jesus christ, youre not a super hero 10:55 intuition. 10:55 ANSWERS! 10:55 the secret to seeing through the veil. 10:55 when an analogy or simily or metaphor or saying!!!!!!! 10:55 is... 10:56 Literally, In More Ways Than One, And In Every Possible Way. Or The Way You Were Least Expecting. 10:56 or you can fill in the blank on the last one as you see fit. 10:56 Kindof like when you lose your keys -- it's basically in the place you least expect it or in the place you can't see. 10:57 this country has played a joke on every single person who has ever touched our currency. 10:57 We have ALOT in common. 10:58 especially broke people. 10:59 i'll give you a dollar, you can give whatever you want, or you give nothing 10:59 it took alot of pain and courage to figure it out. 10:59 and even more bravery putting myself in the position to give you the ability to figure out any answer you want for anything you want for anyone. 11:00 to see simple truth, and lies for what they are. 11:00 the truth hurts, but lies leave scars. 11:00 The truth is WONDERFUL and the scars are forgiven. 11:00 just figure it out. 11:01 and stop taking shit for granted. 11:01 please. 11:02 i finally figured out why i was so facinated with music and language 11:03 check out leslie parish's love letter in a bridge acrost forever. pages 30 145 146 231 232 233 234 235 *AND* 236 11:03 or just look (you lazy bastards hehehehhehe) 11:04 ganes! [this shit means desire. i dunno how good my spelling is tho.] 11:04 or my pronunciation. ;) 11:05 The point is, there are infinite riches at the bottom of the pool, and all anyone wants to look at is what's on the surface or what's reflected. Everyone believes what they want to believe or what they fear the most. 11:05 no joke. 11:05 not anymore. if you care. 11:05 wtf are you talking to? 11:05 every single person with a 1$ bill 11:05 (anybody and everybody!) rambles :p 11:05 i guess so 11:05 i speak the truth. 11:06 well, you speak anyway 11:06 At least I keep trying. 11:06 it was right under all your freakin noses the entire freakin time. 11:06 what was? 11:06 you are rather trying yes 11:07 look! 11:07 and use google 11:07 40404040404040404 11:07 * ???/#in a ghetto near you sticks in an i 11:08 theres alot more irony here than everybody realizes. 11:08 its great. 11:08 everybody learns the lesson they need to. 11:08 again. 11:08 and again. 11:08 :) 11:09 you'll appreciate math for what it is, language for what it is, music for what it is, and science for what it is. most importantly, learning. and teaching. 11:09 and common interest. 11:09 common interest these days is sex 11:09 you'll still have to work for it. but you'll have the same abilities that everybody else does. 11:10 What is more evil? Knowledge? Or Ignorance? 11:10 hm 11:10 that's apretty good question 11:10 I know. 11:11 They both are. 11:11 i'd probably have to say knowledge though 11:11 But not in the middle of the scale. 11:11 because if you're knowledgable, then you are aware that you are being evil, but continue anyway 11:12 keep asking yourself these kinds of questions. 11:12 and never stop. 11:12 it's the greatest responsibility any of us have ever had. 11:12 count the stars. 11:13 why do you assume people dont already ask themselves these questions? 11:13 seems a bit arrogant 11:13 (anybody and everybody!)has a point you know 11:13 most of the people in this world don't think anymore 11:13 hehe 11:13 'anymore' 11:14 that's optimistic 11:14 well 11:14 i think making a broad statement like that lacking thought 11:14 maybe 11:14 IS lacking thought 11:14 ... 11:14 i mean 11:14 At the surface. 11:14 but just look at the people in this world 11:14 more than half are dumbfucks sucked in by society 11:14 [it's an analogy for being shallow.] 11:14 they're zombies, at best 11:14 I was too even in figuring it out!!! 11:14 just seems like he's looking down on people. thinking that (anybody and everybody!)knows the "way. 11:14 JUST LIKE YOU! :) *hug* 11:16 i gotta publish this too 11:16 well instead of analyzing others and telling them what to do, i worry about myself 11:16 the greatest message in a bottle ever created. only it wasn't anyones. it was everyones. 11:16 that can sometimes backfire 11:16 instead of preaching to others i will work on myself 11:16 i've gave up trying to "guide" people 11:17 like when your nation becomes fascist or something 11:17 you're ready for it if you care enough to ask and answer your own questions and to never stop asking. 11:17 they would rather follow someone off a building then walk down the stairs 11:17 the weight of all of existence 11:17 with all of its shortcomings and all of its rewards 11:17 its everywhere 11:18 though i'm inclined to say let people live their own lives in their own way, so long as they don't physically harm others, or do undo direct economic harm 11:18 even in you 11:18 in the trees that give the air you breathe 11:18 just like a processor 11:18 only it can do threading NATURALLY 11:18 so (anybody and everybody!).... why do you spend your time typing up bullshit here instead of contemplating these things yourself? 11:18 are you telling me that i'm not designed by god? 11:19 you are basicaly designed by MATH 11:19 oh god 11:19 * ???/#in a ghetto near you runs away from this fundamental bullshit 11:19 hehe 11:19 * ???/#in a ghetto near you - seriously - grins 11:19 exactly ??? 11:19 bullshit is the perfect word 11:19 1 down 1 to the left, if there arent 2 to the left. And on the other side of the pyramid, the same thing. And only do it when you will not collide. 11:19 And then look at the GAP instead of the dots. 11:20 and count them. 11:20 and WHY would anyone listen to you? 11:20 and then ask yourself WHY does it behave differently EVERY SINGLE TIME it hits 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 right in the damn middle. 11:20 i even did it up for ya. ahahhahahhahah 11:21 *smooches* 11:21 [i'm laughin at this.] 11:21 But i'm tryin to keep it to myself. 11:21 people are so full of shit 11:21 its so good the comments SERIOUSLY keep writing themselves. 11:21 telling the channel might not be the best way to keep that secret 11:21 and full of THEMSELVES 11:22 its no secret. 11:22 it's just forgotten. 11:22 and taken for granted every single time every single person does anything. 11:22 anything does anything 11:22 anywhere. 11:22 STEPHEN WOLFRAM. 11:22 the turtle from logo. 11:22 check it. 11:23 funny how it paralells why we're here. in this country. 11:23 look at the flag. 11:23 look at yourself. 11:23 look at somebody else. 11:23 just keep looking,. 11:23 dont even stop here. 11:23 i mean EARTH 11:24 the answers to anyones problems are in the palm of your hand. 11:24 and now you know it. 11:25 if you look. you have to figure it out for yourself. 11:25 so you'll appreciate it for what it is. 11:25 it's the greatest gift we've ever been given. 11:25 right under your nose. 11:26 simple truth. 11:26 people have been trying to tell you EVERYWHERE 11:27 and you've all been duped 11:27 just look at the one dollar bill REALLY REALLY closely 11:27 we all have. 11:27 hahahaha:) 11:27 instantiation :) 11:28 i had no idea 11:28 just like you. 11:28 and everybody. 11:28 and everywhere. 11:29 why do you think this existance keeps getting bigger? 11:29 sky's the limit :) 11:30 just go connect the dots. and the gaps. 11:30 like a chip in a flower 11:30 :) 11:30 to see the world in a grain of sand, and heaven in flower, to hold infinity in the palm of your hand, and eterenity in an hour. 11:30 seriously. 11:30 no secret. 11:30 not anymore. 11:31 what a chance 11:31 everybody gets to be in the clu 11:31 club:) 11:32 you just gotta appreciate the reason. 11:32 nothin less :) slug from atmosphere's a awesome guy. seriously. 11:32 i owe him everything. 11:33 its beauitful 11:33 beautiful :) 11:33 im an idiot savant but i've never given up on any of you. 11:34 even if i dont get to appreciate it myself. 11:34 hit the books. 11:34 what the hell are you people waitin for. 11:34 im serious. 11:35 it takes one clue to get started 11:35 rub two clues together and you can make somethin happen 11:35 theres a whole shitload of clues here. 11:35 EVERYWHERE 11:36 trust your instincts. 11:36 whisper in the dark. 11:36 count the stars. 11:36 take your dictionary back. 11:37 and wink at someone driving by today. :) 11:37 [i got this all from little chocolate fortunes. heheheheheh.] 11:37 :) 11:37 [the last 5 anyway :)] 11:37 hehehe:) 11:38 godly engineers. :) 11:38 all of ya. 11:40 i believe in everything. 11:41 in a way, i wish i shared your outlook 11:41 99% is not 100% :) but the keys are there 11:41 i'm inclined to say that there's nothing particularly special about humans 11:41 and that we're just another outcome in a roll of dice 11:41 oh no. 11:41 and eventually humans won't be here anymore 11:41 :) 11:41 and stuff goes on 11:41 Hehehehheheh! 11:42 People believe whatever they want to believe or whatever they fear the most. 11:42 You can come to the same conclusions if you have the same information. 11:42 i usually i'd agree to that, but i'm feeling contrary today 11:42 And why dont you? 11:42 i wanted to believe in God for a long time 11:42 but was never able to convince myself 11:42 this changes everything 11:42 just like it changes us 11:43 just one! good! HAHAHAHA 11:44 :) 11:44 i hope you wake up:) 11:44 sky's the limit. 11:44 maybe someday 11:44 everyone. 11:44 it's seriously there when you're ready. why reinvent the wheel when you can use it? 11:45 do you think there is one universal 'truth' that people can somehow recognize, and then put to use in order to live the one good life? 11:45 yes. that any simple algorithm can create any complex system. 11:45 i see 11:45 on the biggest level and the littlest level. 11:46 *grin* 11:46 I get to sleep at night knowing that I finally figured it out. 11:46 I dont have to worry about anyone because they can worry too. 11:46 or not worry, as the case may be 11:46 These are the biggest thoughts I have ever had. 11:46 And the littlest:) 11:47 They're perfect. 11:47 Music singing to music. 11:47 can't take it with me. 11:47 And no one can take it from you. 11:47 just try. 11:47 :) 11:48 these are the keys to existance 11:49 and wether they were acquired well or ill, they were yours the entire time. 11:49 right under your noses. 11:49 make up your own mind. 11:50 you must be mindful of all that has happened, all that is happening, and all that will happen. 11:51 or else you probably wont figure it out anyway. ha ha ha! 11:52 i think it also requires infinite patience :) 11:52 a gun doesnt kill someone. :) 11:52 it's a bitch to carry this kind of knowledge. 11:52 its unfair to ask anyone, but its unfair to use it against someone without their knowledge. 11:53 voulentary or nonvoulentary. 11:53 perhaps it'll change your view on 'truth' 11:53 my view on truth changes all the time. 11:53 :) 11:53 heheheheheheheh 11:54 just like nature! 11:54 ah 11:54 mine does as well, i think 11:54 it pretty much took me since last thanksgiving to get to this point by myself. 11:55 if we work together, it aint that hard. 11:55 that's my point. 11:55 well 11:55 its not really mine. 11:55 but that's how i would put it. 11:55 we are all each other as much as we are everything. 11:56 literally, in more ways than one, and in every possible way. 11:57 i didnt even really get to it by myself. clues are everywhere, people are really trying, i just really tried to see the mountain for what it was. just like alot of people. and it takes along time to climb it. 11:57 but not forever. 11:57 giggle. :) 11:57 im flauntin this knowledge as much as everyone who has come before me. but i focus the application of this knowledge to our children and not our elderly. 11:58 i respect my elders, but i do not do so blindly. 11:58 they need us as much as we need them. 11:58 look. 11:59 and dont ever forget it. 11:59 i'm dying as much as they are. 11:59 :) 12:00 hey, (anybody and everybody!), do u .*? 12:00 do you? 12:00 i do 12:00 do u? 12:00 it's .*?, right? 12:00 .*? ? 12:00 it is a key too. 12:00 what does that mean?? 12:01 do you .*? ? 12:01 yeah. but not in cali 12:01 see, im gonna move there 12:01 :) 12:01 like in 4-6 months 12:01 not lately:) 12:01 .*? 12:02 *shrug* 12:02 suddenly i got worried today 12:02 life has given something better 12:02 i thought, omg, i may not have hash there!!! 12:02 better doesn't have to mean instead 12:02 if i give u a piece of bread 12:02 and then i give u a piece of cake 12:03 u don't have to throw the bread away 12:03 what do you think? 12:04 what do you feel? 12:04 what do you think i think? 12:04 what do you think somebody else would think? 12:04 what do you think somebody else would think later? earlier? 12:04 wtf are u saying 12:04 what if i didnt ask you? 12:05 Is it to be taken Literally? In more ways than one? Or in every possible way? 12:05 oh, by better u mean lsd 12:05 i see 12:05 Or in the way I'm not expecting? :) 12:05 what am i expecting anyway? 12:05 or am i expecting anything? 12:06 :) 12:06 life is no illusion 12:06 maybe it is:) 12:06 sure is alot of it. 12:06 i think. 12:07 what's the best way to answer such a question? 12:07 what answer would you appreciate the most? 12:07 food 12:07 bbl 12:07 :) 12:07 what answer would not? :) 12:07 food and poison come from the same things. 12:08 :) 12:09 if i really knew you, i could tell you what you need to hear. 12:09 or you could ask and answer it for yourself. 12:09 funny. 12:09 and serious. 12:09 i'd like to solve the puzzle, alex. hahahhahahahhahah 12:10 you can see right through the problem. 12:10 for what it is. where it's going. where it came from, what might have been, and what could have been. 12:11 a dollar is not worth a dollar. it's priceless. 12:11 :) 12:11 just like you. 12:11 and everybody. 12:11 who's to say? 12:11 *giggle* 12:12 [a chuckle too! hehehehhe] 12:12 we are alot similar than we thought no matter who we are. 12:12 just look around you. 12:12 closer. and step away from and look again. 12:12 who's really been plaguarized anyway? 12:13 i ask myself this all the time. literally and in more ways then one, and in every possible way. 12:13 no matter what i'm asking. 12:14 what do you ask yourselves? 12:14 or the people you love? 12:14 :) 12:14 what does love mean? 12:14 what does 1043 mean? 12:15 what does 8 represent? 12:15 :) 12:15 :) 12:15 its so damn simple and so damn taken for granted. 12:16 *smile* 12:16 you've all taught so much 12:16 thank you. 12:16 and i'm sorry. 12:17 we're the same. 12:17 this seriously can just keep going and going and going and going : 12:17 just like nature :) 12:17 i am so relieved 12:19 [ as i write this from my perspective, i just said: i really figured it out. ] 12:19 speaking from the heart, the soul, and the mind at the same time. 12:20 and it didn't take anything else but the will to try. 12:22 you are a very intresting beautiful people. 12:22 wow!:) 12:22 all:) 12:23 (anybody and everybody!), wtf r u on? 12:23 life 12:23 and? 12:23 <[somebody who doesnt understand what you have to contribute]> .?!?! i'm guessing 12:23 :) it is what it is. 12:23 answer it for yourself. 12:24 too philosophical 12:24 could be 12:24 i tend towards the tryptamines more 12:24 could be too. 12:24 also could be:) 12:25 i think there arent enough words 12:25 first time? 12:25 allways 12:25 [grin] 12:25 :) 12:25 oh wait, but u said u haven't been smoking lately 12:26 but don't do it instead!!! 12:26 it's a big responsibility! 12:26 do it together 12:26 its worth it. 12:26 i've been alot of things. 12:26 :) 12:26 i change all the time :) 12:26 oh, maybe it's (anything, really.) 12:26 just like nature. :) 12:27 just like it changes you. 12:27 no. 12:27 wether you be connecting to the highest level or the lowest. 12:27 >>> You have been kicked off #in a ghetto near you - seriously - by [somebody who doesnt understand what you have to contribute] (your babbling is annoying) 12:27 that's it. 12:27 :) *smile* 12:27 just look around you. 12:27 i was dead the day i was born and i already made my choices. 12:28 but i did choose. 12:28 for myself. 12:28 or did u? 12:28 good question! :) 12:28 change is fun 12:28 riddles are very very important 12:29 -:- mode/#in a ghetto near you - seriously - by [somebody who doesnt understand what you have to contribute] 12:29 >>> You have been kicked off #in a ghetto near you - seriously - by [somebody who doesnt understand what you have to contribute] (indeed) the pen is mightier than the sword. double edged as it were. just pi, thank you. hehe;) we're all in on it too:) everybody wins. [this is just the starting point:) theres alotta chapters!] [everything here aint even mine. i say that to the tune of al gore. :) *hi5* i even took my resume off the internet. check that out. i seriously just want to help you all help yourselves. i didnt even put it there in first place. i'm just tired of bein laughed at as much as you are.] [i think the most important thing is to see the responsibility and the burden this is for what it is. and to fear everything enough to never quit trying.] [somebody cool said to me, nobody is ready for the answers they arent asking the questions for. this pretty much takes care of the questions requirement and the answers requirement.] [i actually had my access taken away because of this. can you believe that? wow!] [who knew there were secret dictionaries? sheesh.] [would you do somethin like that? :)] [i'm really just pointing out something that was right there the entire time that was taken for granted.] [just pi, thank you. hehe;) we're all in on it too:) everybody wins. maybe this is the first time the whole world might go 'whaa?!??!' and look at themselves and then somebody who needs help?] [this is just the starting point:) theres alotta chapters!] [less does more ya know. hehehe. (i really dont have enough time to make enough analogies. what do you think?)] (c)++ given to you by everything that put anything anywhere and where everything is and where everything going. there's infinite ways to do infinity. #!/usr/bin/perl ;) [grin] dont go takin the best thing about the #language without also takin the second best thing and then givin it #someone. how can anyone have an idea where anything came from, what it came from, where it came from, when it came from, why it came to be at all, HOW it works, in detail, WHO needs it, and who's gonna. what is the only thing we're prepared for anyway? :) ? /.*?/ what do you think i should be asking? if i had to guess it would probably be "is this the right thing to do?" [i really tried to set my mark at 42421 bytes for this file, it actually kindof forced me to keep lookin at it. check that out.] Infinite answers - Repeatedly apply the algorithm: Literally, in more ways than one, and in every possible way! :) applied to everything from everyones perspective. past present future living dead plant animal visible invisible tangible intangible imagined wished for, needed, understood, not understood, and basically for words we dont even have examples for yet wether we know them or not. promises are promises. people seriously only... 12,000 things to happy about. then you kinda gotta see whats wrong with most of them. then you kinda gotta wonder which is referred to first. and then kinda gotta wonder why the next one sortof feels different. and then you kinda gotta see the pattern thats pretty fuckin obvious. whats up with the first 7 emphasized words in odwalla superfood anyway? i rushed my ass right to the store and bought 8 things of arizona green tea for a dollar/ea (that shit's a good deal,) and then 2 things of superfood, 5 things of hershey's twosomes, 2 things of scoops [werd.] check out http://dreamscape.org/directions.jpg [the 14,000 things to be happy about book probably contains way less than this,] point being -- style differences. what's similar? whats not? what the fuck is with all these fantasy book and music metaphors? whats the first thing someone fundamentally is concerned about? [dying!!!] a cat runnin at 30 miles an hour:) whats the similarity between a cats eyes, autism and ??? doesnt wellbutrin fall into this category too? i cant believe that i actually dont have a problem with the pledge of allegiance idea anymore. i guess also i dont have problem with the whole being subjected to picking a religion at the age of 10. its not fair to ask a child that, but i suppose a good idea to be thinking about it that long. "things to be happy about" is also "things to be ??? about" what does AOL also stand for? when something is funny it might also be ??? the illustrations in 14,000 things to be happy about are also ??? and ??? illustrations in general are ??? and ??? and ??? (or also worth...???) if you keep seeing the same patterns reoccuring for the same kinds of reasons, what is going on? its kindof like a panchinko machine how many quarters i got anyway? they're like continues. do you feel the same about something the second time you encounter it? the pen is mightier than the sword at first, and then it becomes mightier than an atomic bomb, and at some point, the shotgun epiphanies become a continual nuclear explosion i sortof have a thing for rare earth magnets. i wear silver, iron, an amethyst rings on both my middle fingers. theres a difference between something that is taken and something that is given. seriously. clever, creative, godly, simple, and genius. check out your hands starting from the center. the right side is said to be what you want, the left side is said to be what you have. basically everything i'm doing is a continual solioiquy ATTN NINJAS: all of ya editor, terminal, programmer, dreamer, wisher upgrades-- check it. root@dreamscape:~> wc /web/editor-upgrades.txt 112 395 8103 /web/editor-upgrades.txt #start#.........................how...we..gonna...bake...all..them...fuckin...muffins!?!?.............. # ................http://dreamscape.org/editor-upgrades.txt......send...me....any.....changes...plz!!.. # ..................................................................................................... # ..................................................................................................... # 680 authors/id/DSUGAL/........................................................................... #(none):/big/cpan# du -sk */*/*/. */*/. */. | sort -n | tee -a threedeep.txt........................... # ..................................................................................................... # ..................................................................................................... # ..............................................(and...then...suddenly...for....no...reason....)....... # ..................................................................................................... # ..................................................................................................... # ..................................................................................................... # how do i turn it off if i like the comments like that too? [i guess a reset.]........................ # ..................................................................................................... # do i have to modify this editor or what? maybe.. maybe not........................................... # ..................................................................................................... # one more rule of thumb: this shit is pretty ghetto stacked on top of one another..................... # ..................................................................................................... # dont go killin your editor now. ha ha ha............................................................. # ..................................................................................................... # DAMN! you have to make a starting point to do the same thing. hows that happen?...................... # CAN YOU ACTUALLY STACK SCREEN ON TOP OF SCREEN ON TOP OF SCREEN WITH FUCKIN UNIQUE LAYER OVERRIDES?.. # ***AND*** AUTOMATE IT?! YA! ^A a && ^A etc etc estc. ;) ha ha ha..................................... # tintin++..... tinyfugue.... screen.... nano.... perl... editors in perl... shorthand complex......... # regexing ------- is this like an enigma machine? somehow?............................................ # ..................................................................................................... # ........xmacrorec....xmacroplay......................learn..and..mimic...functions..which.you.have... # ...the..arrow..key.....thing....which...hardcopies....any....layer...of...the..screen.......and...... # the..ability....to...parse...it....through...any.....command...or...client......that...you...can..... # ......duct...tape.....to......the....same....thing................................................... # ......like...juggling...ferris...wheels.............................................................. # ..................................................................defeinite...like....midi........... # .....i...mean.....definitely.............................................(i...closed...my...eyes).... # .....layered....nested....turtles...........in...waves....and...volleys....and...packs............... # ................................................................and....on...their...own.............. # ....i...didnt..even..look...at..the.time............................................................. # ....border.....limitations......identification......and....completions............................... # ......per....key...shuffling....within......the...same...line.....paragraph........pattern..block.... # ....definitely a cool layering....................................................................... # layer.............definitely....needs....a....eterm...upgrade........................................ # .......why..do..i.only...see....16...fucking...colors....theres..alot...more..fuckin...data...in..... # .....that...space.........its...basically...a...fuckin...doubleword.....fuck....html..uses...fuckin.. # twocharacters.........................starting...at....simplicity..................maybe..a..couple.. # ..of...display...modes............................................................................... # ..................................................................................................... # ...............hmmm!!!!.................................adding...spaces....into...words.............. # ....increasing...them........shortening...them........to....any.....purpose.......................... # ......automatically...addding...some....emphaSIS.......hahahahhaHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH.................. # .........kindof.....like...making....a...picture...........i...guess....with....multiple...objects... # ......like...painting................................................................................ # ..................................................................................................... # ......observational...time...representation....as..well....as....idle....representation.............. # ..observations...by..the....size....the...number...of...words...what..its...from.....to........for... # ..................................................................................................... # ..................................................................................................... # ...like...golfing....with.....the...yin.....or....the...yang...........or...more..................... # ..................................................................................................... # ..................................................................................................... # ....i...WAS...just...going...to...upgrade...my...nanorc.....but....hey.....you...people..got..skills! # ..oOOo...OoOOOooOoOOoooo....,...,,......OOoOoooOOOo........it..was..a..good..dream................... #woot#......................a...big...one...........couldnt....keep...the....process...too..myself..... # whatchathink? # 01234567890123456789012345678901234567890 # ....................... # 1 # .... # 1 # ..... # 1 # ..... # 1 # .... # 1 # ......... # 1 # ........ # 1 # ........ # 1 # .... # 1 # ..... # 1 # .. # 1 # ^K all of the above, ^U twice, then........................................................... # .........................................^K your....second........move...it..below...this..... # ........^U it again..................................................................then..... # ^J --> 1 .... 1 ..... 1 ..... 1 .... 1 ......... 1 ........ 1 ........ 1 .... 1 ..... 1 .. 1 # i'm typing.....periods....like....a...metro...nome................................mostly...... # 4..........5......5.....4......9........8...............8............4.......5.........2...... # got thanks?....i...know...randal..too........hehehehhe....we..were...gonna..go....skiing______ # root@dreamscape:~> wc /web/editor-upgrades.txt # 96 345 7241 /web/editor-upgrades.txt # 96...haha.................345.............543.......69.....hahahahhahahha...........7241..........1....42......7......5...4...3.......6.....9 # like stoppin and lookin at the progress....................................................................................................;) # 103 364 7624 /web/editor-upgrades.txt # root@dreamscape:~> pico /web/editor-upgrades.txt # 1..3...........6....4.............3742..............hut..hut...............................................................................*? # 10 ninjas with the arrow keys. Runes Crystal Info Stories 1 Merlin Runes Catalog RUNES: A Short History Most people associate the runes with the Vikings, but their history begins much earlier. The origin of the runes as an alphabet began in about 1300 BC with the early civilizations in the Indo-European area, located where today you would find northwestern India, Pakistan and the lowlands of Afghanistan. However, many of the runic symbols have been found throughout the world in archaeological sites dating back thousands of years earlier. During the Bronze Age, the runes as a true alphabet evolved along with the Proto Indo-European Language and spread primarily in a north-western direction. This Proto Indo-European Language eventually developed into a wide variety of modern languages, including German, English, Greek and the various Scandinavian languages. It is also the root of Latin and interestingly and kind of surprisingly, Persian. You will notice that the runes have many similarities with some of the alphabet that you use today. Time, culture and technology are responsible for the evolution of the runes into the A.B.Cs- some of them have not changed a bit, some only changed by rounding sharp angles into curves. The runes are all straight lines for the practical reason that straight lines are easier to carve, engrave or chisel than are curves. In the days before paper, pen & ink, the means of written communication was usually carving into wood or stone, and getting uniform curves into these materials was not easy. As the use of clay tablets started to spread, curves became less difficult, so in some cases the runes began to be modified into more rounded figures. Then as early forms of paper such as parchment, papyrus etc. began to appear, further modifications into a more flowing script became popular. What was a convenience with carving became a hindrance because, generally, curved lines are faster to put onto paper than straight lines and sharp angles. Although the cultures using runes as an alphabet are diverse, most of the symbols are the same throughout, and although the phonetic spelling of the names of individual runes may vary, the meanings usually are fairly consistent. Also, you should be aware that while English and most modern occidental languages are read from left to right, the runes were often written right to left or even vertically or around in spirals etc. So if you are trying to translate a rune inscription and it is just not making sense, you may be reading in the wrong direction. And of course, due to the vast number of languages and dialects that runes have been used in, you may not be using the right language. The serious rune historian or translator needs to have a lot more knowledge than a translator of modern written languages, and there are few people well qualified to do much of this sort of work. Fortunately, for our purposes here, historical translations will not be of major importance, as generally we will be dealing with the meanings and purposes of individual symbols for something other than extensive communications or literature. The following table will show several historical versions of the runes, along with their nearest English equivalents. Beyond their use as an alphabet, the runes are symbols which convey a wide variety of mundane to esoteric meanings. Indeed, rune symbols have been long understood to contain and or control a variety of magickal powers. We will begin to explore these concepts in the next chapter. PART TWO RUNIC SYMBOLISM (individual rune meanings) Most of the following information is based on general traditional understanding. These symbols are presented in more or less modern alphabetical order rather than the traditional FUTHARK order. OS=A In one context, OS refers to the Divine, Primarily to (the) God(s) of creation and specifically to the Father Deity. It is also a rune of communication, poetry and music. OS can represent the link between the Gods and humanity. Other symbolism for this rune includes: Pine trees, Good fortune, Immortality, Inspiration and Personal power. OS=A BOERC = B Relates to birth, healing, forgiveness and atonement for misdeeds. It refers to the birch tree and symbolizes shelter, concealment and (passive) protection [concealment]. OS=A BOERC = B KEN (can be used as C, K or Q) Relates to light and the controlled power of fire It is the rune of knowledge and technological advance. The knowledge of Ken is that of the student, the scientist etc. and does not necessarily indicate wisdom. OS=A BOERC = B KEN (can be used as C, K or Q) DOERG=D In general, it represents the wheels of a chariot and thus can refer to travel. In specific application, it represents the "SUN CHARIOT" and indicates the light of day and the diurnal cycle. It is symbolic of personal growth, the gaining of wisdom and leaving the past behind. OS=A BOERC = B KEN (can be used as C, K or Q) DOERG=D EHWIS =E Is symbolic of the horse and also of two specific gods- twin brothers who roamed the world to help people in trouble. As such it can indicate divine aid in a time of need. It is also representative of partnership- (platonic, not romantic). OS=A BOERC = B KEN (can be used as C, K or Q) DOERG=D EHWIS =E FEOH =F Is symbolic of cattle, one of the main measures of wealth among early peoples. As such, it is indicative of wealth, money and material possessions. It can be a sign of fertility, and it may also be indicative of psychic power or spirituality. FEOH is the direct root of the word FEE, and therefore may indicate a payment due or other debt. OS=A BOERC = B KEN (can be used as C, K or Q) DOERG=D EHWIS =E FEOH =F GYFU =G The word gift is a direct root of gyfu; Therefore it indicates sharing, hospitality or sacrifice. It can also have a meaning of partnership; Unlike EHWIS, this is directed more at matrimonial matters or sexuality, rather than just comradeship. OS=A BOERC = B KEN (can be used as C, K or Q) DOERG=D EHWIS =E FEOH =F GYFU =G HAEGL =H Is the rune of winter. It symbolizes snow ice, the cold north wind, and frost. The modern word HAIL is directly derived from this rune. It is also a rune symbolic of "The Trickster" (Loki, Coyote etc.) Haegl is indicative of bondage, frustration and unpleasantness. In its best connotation, it means overcoming all of these negatives and achieving greatness. OS=A BOERC = B KEN (can be used as C, K or Q) DOERG=D EHWIS =E FEOH =F GYFU =G HAEGL =H ISA =I Is a rune of strength and masculinity. It is symbolic of the spear, the staff and the Shepard's crook. In one aspect it is confrontational, aggressive and indicates strife, stress and struggle. However in its other aspect it is protective, it signifies leadership and overcoming difficulties. It is also symbolic of the Norse god Odin and the Celtic god Lugh (Llew) who are known for their magical spears. OS=A BOERC = B KEN (can be used as C, K or Q) DOERG=D EHWIS =E FEOH =F GYFU =G HAEGL =H ISA =I GER (used for J and Y) Is a rune of growth; symbolic of agriculture, gardening and harvest. It is the root of the word YEAR and indicates the annular cycle and living and working with nature. OS=A BOERC = B KEN (can be used as C, K or Q) DOERG=D EHWIS =E FEOH =F GYFU =G HAEGL =H ISA =I GER (used for J and Y) LAGU =L Is a rune of water, especially the sea and lakes, in fact, the word LAKE comes directly from this rune. It can mean transition, hope and honor. It can also symbolize community, friendship and romance. OS=A BOERC = B KEN (can be used as C, K or Q) DOERG=D EHWIS =E FEOH =F GYFU =G HAEGL =H ISA =I GER (used for J and Y) LAGU =L MANU = M Indicates humanity- either as the self (the individual) or mankind in general. In a negative context it indicates selfishness and greed, but in its positive aspect, it is a symbol of generosity and service to the community. OS=A BOERC = B KEN (can be used as C, K or Q) DOERG=D EHWIS =E FEOH =F GYFU =G HAEGL =H ISA =I GER (used for J and Y) LAGU =L MANU = M NYD = N Is a rune of impossibility- Not necessarily in a negative sense; it can mean overcoming the odds and achieving the impossible. It is also a symbol of personal power, somewhat akin to the Japanese concept of the Hara or the Chinese concept of Chi. It is the direct root of NOT and NEED and therefore may represent either or both concepts. OS=A BOERC = B KEN (can be used as C, K or Q) DOERG=D EHWIS =E FEOH =F GYFU =G HAEGL =H ISA =I GER (used for J and Y) LAGU =L MANU = M NYD = N ODEL =O Is the rune for family matters: Marriage, genetics, inheritances, ancestors etc. and it can possibly indicate Royalty or dynastic lineage. OS=A BOERC = B KEN (can be used as C, K or Q) DOERG=D EHWIS =E FEOH =F GYFU =G HAEGL =H ISA =I GER (used for J and Y) LAGU =L MANU = M NYD = N ODEL =O Is the rune for family matters: Marriage, genetics, inheritances, ancestors etc. and it can possibly POERDH =P Is the gamblers rune: the shape of the rune represents the dice cup. It can indicate the coming of major change- opportunity on one hand, disaster or failure on the other. In another context, it is a symbol of the feminine- "womanly traits" as well as sexuality. OS=A BOERC = B KEN (can be used as C, K or Q) DOERG=D EHWIS =E FEOH =F GYFU =G HAEGL =H ISA =I GER (used for J and Y) LAGU =L MANU = M NYD = N ODEL =O Is the rune for family matters: Marriage, genetics, inheritances, ancestors etc. and it can possibly POERDH =P RAD Is a travelers rune. It can indicate change, a physical journey or a mental one. A mental journey can be a dream, astral travel, channeling or just learning something new and exciting. It can also symbolize death- after all, death is also a journey. OS=A BOERC = B KEN (can be used as C, K or Q) DOERG=D EHWIS =E FEOH =F GYFU =G HAEGL =H ISA =I GER (used for J and Y) LAGU =L MANU = M NYD = N ODEL =O Is the rune for family matters: Marriage, genetics, inheritances, ancestors etc. and it can possibly POERDH =P RAD SIGHEL =S Is the rune of the Sun; yet it also represents lightning. It symbolizes natural power. It can be indicative of spirituality, redemption and protection from evil and chaos. OS=A BOERC = B KEN (can be used as C, K or Q) DOERG=D EHWIS =E FEOH =F GYFU =G HAEGL =H ISA =I GER (used for J and Y) LAGU =L MANU = M NYD = N ODEL =O Is the rune for family matters: Marriage, genetics, inheritances, ancestors etc. and it can possibly POERDH =P RAD SIGHEL =S TYR =T Is the rune of the Warrior. It represents the spear (like ISA) the sword and the axe. It is the symbol of the Norse god Tiwaz and brings his protection and attributes to those who bear his symbol. It is for courage, strength, endurance and agility. OS=A BOERC = B KEN (can be used as C, K or Q) DOERG=D EHWIS =E FEOH =F GYFU =G HAEGL =H ISA =I GER (used for J and Y) LAGU =L MANU = M NYD = N ODEL =O Is the rune for family matters: Marriage, genetics, inheritances, ancestors etc. and it can possibly POERDH =P RAD SIGHEL =S TYR =T UR =U Is the symbol of wild cattle (musk ox, buffalo etc.). Like FEOH, (the symbol of domesticated cattle) UR can represent wealth, but this is the kind of wealth that is rarely won--that of the prospector, the wildcat oil driller and the treasure hunter--- possible great wealth, but only at great risk. UR can indicate great opportunity, hope and excitement. OS=A BOERC = B KEN (can be used as C, K or Q) DOERG=D EHWIS =E FEOH =F GYFU =G HAEGL =H ISA =I GER (used for J and Y) LAGU =L MANU = M NYD = N ODEL =O Is the rune for family matters: Marriage, genetics, inheritances, ancestors etc. and it can possibly POERDH =P RAD SIGHEL =S TYR =T UR =U VIK =V VIK IS NOT ONE OF THE STANDARD HISTORICAL RUNES- IT IS (almost) UNIQUE TO MERLIN'S SYSTEM. It is the rune of winning- the root of the modern word victory and Viking. Somewhat in the vein of TYR and UR, it indicates winning through courage, audacity and great risk. It also indicates artistic talent (especially in the visual arts) and creativity. OS=A BOERC = B KEN (can be used as C, K or Q) DOERG=D EHWIS =E FEOH =F GYFU =G HAEGL =H ISA =I GER (used for J and Y) LAGU =L MANU = M NYD = N ODEL =O Is the rune for family matters: Marriage, genetics, inheritances, ancestors etc. and it can possibly POERDH =P RAD SIGHEL =S TYR =T UR =U VIK =V WYNN =W Is the rune of wisdom and divination. It can be used as the symbol of the Runemaster, the Loremaster, the Scholar, the Wizard or the Oracle. It can indicate Divine power, Fate and Destiny. OS=A BOERC = B KEN (can be used as C, K or Q) DOERG=D EHWIS =E FEOH =F GYFU =G HAEGL =H ISA =I GER (used for J and Y) LAGU =L MANU = M NYD = N ODEL =O Is the rune for family matters: Marriage, genetics, inheritances, ancestors etc. and it can possibly POERDH =P RAD SIGHEL =S TYR =T UR =U VIK =V WYNN =W KEST =X KEST IS ANOTHER SYMBOL THAT IS GENERALLY UNKNOWN IN HISTORICAL RUNE STUDY. This symbol probably predates most of the runes, and has been seen in a wider variety of ancient cultures than the runes. Not to be confused with the swastika which has the "arms" pointing in the opposite direction. KEST is the rune of good luck. Not "winning the lottery" good luck, but the luck of being just beyond the reach of disaster. It can be seen as the "luck of the fool". Being born attractive, talented or into a very loving family is an example of KEST luck. It also indicates a happy, carefree state with little stress, strife and worry. Can also be used as a symbol of humanity's place in nature, and a reminder that eventually, natural law will prevail over all man made laws. OS=A BOERC = B KEN (can be used as C, K or Q) DOERG=D EHWIS =E FEOH =F GYFU =G HAEGL =H ISA =I GER (used for J and Y) LAGU =L MANU = M NYD = N ODEL =O Is the rune for family matters: Marriage, genetics, inheritances, ancestors etc. and it can possibly POERDH =P RAD SIGHEL =S TYR =T UR =U VIK =V WYNN =W KEST =X EOLH =Z The rune of protection, both from physical, mundane danger and protection from evil and magickal attack. It symbolizes the antlers of a deer or an elk. OS=A BOERC = B KEN (can be used as C, K or Q) DOERG=D EHWIS =E FEOH =F GYFU =G HAEGL =H ISA =I GER (used for J and Y) LAGU =L MANU = M NYD = N ODEL =O Is the rune for family matters: Marriage, genetics, inheritances, ancestors etc. and it can possibly POERDH =P RAD SIGHEL =S TYR =T UR =U VIK =V WYNN =W KEST =X EOLH =Z THORN =Th Is the symbol of the demon Thorn- who rules the icy wastelands. Like HAEGL, it evokes the image of snow, ice, hail, and wind. It is a symbol of testing: Man against Nature, Courage against Fear. Generally an indication of danger, but it can also be used as a talisman or sigil of defense (Must face outwards-toward your enemy in this use). OS=A BOERC = B KEN (can be used as C, K or Q) DOERG=D EHWIS =E FEOH =F GYFU =G HAEGL =H ISA =I GER (used for J and Y) LAGU =L MANU = M NYD = N ODEL =O Is the rune for family matters: Marriage, genetics, inheritances, ancestors etc. and it can possibly POERDH =P RAD SIGHEL =S TYR =T UR =U VIK =V WYNN =W KEST =X EOLH =Z THORN =Th ING =ing Somewhat like MANU, ING is a symbol of humanity, but it generally refers to it in terms of the community, the tribe or the clan. In a modern context, it can also indicate a corporation, organization, club etc. or even close friends or "comrades in arms". OS=A BOERC = B KEN (can be used as C, K or Q) DOERG=D EHWIS =E FEOH =F GYFU =G HAEGL =H ISA =I GER (used for J and Y) LAGU =L MANU = M NYD = N ODEL =O Is the rune for family matters: Marriage, genetics, inheritances, ancestors etc. and it can possibly POERDH =P RAD SIGHEL =S TYR =T UR =U VIK =V WYNN =W KEST =X EOLH =Z THORN =Th ING =ing EOH symbolizes the yew tree, which is one of the most powerful "magickal" woods. The meanings of the symbol can be quite confusing as it can indicate immortality or long life; it can also mean death or illness, poison or pollution. The context in which the rune is found should help clarify which meaning it indicates. This page still UNDER CONSTRUCTION. There is a whole lot more to tell, but I don't know when I'll have time, so check back occasionally! CHECK OUT THE MERLIN RUNE ORACLE : : A Rune casting kit for "telling fortunes" MRO Home Crystal Info Stories 1 Merlin Runes Catalog Copyright 1996 & 1999 Robert L. Thompson. Last Updated July 16, 1999 For more information contact: http://www.silviron.com (they deserve credit too. all of they. ha ha.)ohhlala.com is pretty tight too, they deserve alotta attention like lyrics.ch AGAIN. ha ha! *WARM* fuckin sound. purr! like chocolate. *laugh* the best medicine. for all the RIGHT reasons. /yawning with a sharp bite/ -- boom boom && flower power it worked for the 60's. like riding a bike. downhill and back. pinball. also a ladder. also infinity. also a wheel. doesnt matter what ya know, we all got common sense. all this comes from the good feeling. the good idea. the right thing to do. whatever this means to you. but--- we all gotta agree on it one way or another. like ordering pizza for more people than you know how to deal with yourself. forwards and backwards. and somehow interconnected. bubbles inside of bubbles like an infinite temple inside and outside of itself in every possible way. MORE entrophy. for the right reasons. momentum. the brass yinyang balls that people get for christmas are alot more than they seem when you half ass your attention to it. like pinball. like alottof people whistling in a cave.............. like bowling and like golfing. and skeeball......... skiing. swimming. basically it's all the same thing, just a metaphor. the greatest prior art every concieved. because it was lonely. the harmonic note combinations of throwing such a ball in the air, and catching in a certain way, with finger combinations is basically the best example i could point out. love for 500 points. time is the second most valuable thing we have. explainin it like chuck-e-cheese. swimmin in balls. hahahah. playin whack a mole. pinball. videogames, social games, moral games. trial and error. sometimes you get prizes, sometimes the crappiest prizes can bring the greatest rewards. sentimental value. only more like gopher and gnutella. and then some. who knew you could store data on nameservers for 6 months and still have that shit stay there? very smart guy. very good idea too. paying attention. we already had the internet. definitely not grey area anymore. chromatherapy. only its duct tape to --- well.. everything. for the right reasons. once again, like chocolate. WARM. like the liberty coin. There's an Edge Too! AND you can spin it. And it does the funniest fuckin shit. Cool. Brass has something to do with impediance. Three things inside it. Same idea. Just cooler. Which is bassically WARM. Really cooler. Pinball machines EVERYWHERE!!!! hehehe! only instead of riding the bike downhill and back up, you pretty much can go down the hill any way you want, as many times as you want, up, down, whatever, get a soda, i dunno. :) crossroads at every moment. who's at the park? what park ya talkin about? how far is that? http://dreamscape.org/runic-stacking.txt ---- Just like riding a bike. (AND stonehenge. hahaha. they're all over the place, some have creepy crap inside them, some got buried treasures, who knows. pieces of 8. ;)) got it from http://www.silviron.com --- didn't wish for myself. just for everyone. in apple's cafeteria. :) wassup. :) ever tried wordcounting at every step? its funny! i'll give it out when i'm ready for it. i'll never take it back. everybody got it right if they got it right. you're supposed to be every character in every story at every moment. like the hundred acre wood. look at the one dollar bill. look at the washington monument a little closer. self evident. bigger than yourself for the right reasons. obligation isin't just a calculator. add it up. ha ha ha. i'm holdin your hand laughin with ya every step of the way like a cat runnin 30 miles an hour. :) fantasy hacker how do you wordcount at every step? make a color! new terminals and new editors please?XOXO ;) it aint 16 colors anymore. why the heck do ya'll get hextillion or whatever colors and people like me are stuck in the dark ages? / up the river, a blog by steven fountain / && 'http://dreamscape.org/swim' && i told yo mama Posted by [1]slf on Sat Jul 30 2005 12:40 ([2]got somethin to say?) ([3]Link) http://sanfrancisco.tribe.net/tribe/servlet/template/pub%2Clisting%2CViewListing.vm?listingid=8b838e1e-a12a-4872-a3d1-1dd550eea821&published=true&nextpage=http%3A%2F%2Fsanfrancisco.tribe.net%2Ftribe%2Fservlet%2Ftemplate%2Fpub%2Clisting%2CViewListing.vm%3Flistingid%3D8b838e1e-a12a-4872-a3d1-1dd550eea821%26published%3Dtrue%26nextpage%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fsanfrancisco.tribe.net%252Ftribe%252Fservlet%252Ftemplate%252Fpub%252Clisting%252CViewListing.vm%253Flistingid%253D8b838e1e-a12a-4872-a3d1-1dd550eea821%2526published%253Dtrue%2526nextpage%253Dhttp%25253A%25252F%25252Fsanfrancisco.tribe.net%25252Ftribe%25252Fservlet%25252Ftemplate%25252Fpub%25252Clisting%25252CViewListing.vm%25253Flistingid%25253D8b838e1e-a12a-4872-a3d1-1dd550eea821%252526published%25253Dtrue%252526nextpage%25253Dhttp%2525253A%2525252F%2525252Fsanfrancisco.tribe.net%2525252Ftribe%2525252Fservlet%2525252Ftemplate%2525252Fpub%2525252Clisting%2525252CViewListing.vm%2525253Flistingid%2525253D8b838e1e-a12a-4872-a3d1-1dd550eea821%25252526published%2525253Dtrue%25252526nextpage%2525253Dhttp%252525253A%252525252F%252525252Fsanfrancisco.tribe.net%252525252Flocal%252525253Fr%252525253D10535 tribe.net SF Bay Area change location >> * my tribe.net | * messages | * invite friends | * account | * log out * events | * local favorites | * services | * misc | * community | * people | * for sale | * housing | * jobs | * tribes << just viewed X just viewed Lighten up. On a s... << Keep track of recent items here. Click a link to jump back to that page, or click the "X" to close this widget. Home >> mature >> alternatives >> view listing post to tribe.net recommend, sell, sound off Your listing has been published on tribe.net and will be promoted on each member's my tribe.net page, including those of people in your personal network. It will expire on August 29, 2005. post another listing >> back to all listings >> Lighten up. On a silver platter. 15 views since posting on Saturday, July 30, 2005. Edit Listing Delete Listing bookmark | e-mail to friend Location Campbell dreamscape.org/ you hear it second... Posted by slf on Sat Jul 30 2005 11:19 (got somethin to say?) (Link) finally get around to making this program happen - eat every module back into one threaded mother identify lists in lists in lists etc etc until you need the program for it. ha ha ha. color spectrum to attribute comparison. Subharmonic resonation anyone? hahaha. the whole center of the universe in every person kinda idea. and then some. fragspy is really funny. pretty much figured out the funny/annoying/happy/serious/etc/etc/ clever/creative/godly/simple/genius and -- every other line is either a male stereotype or a female stereotype. they can be grouped in any way they gotta. oh yea yea yea - the universal disclaimer is hillarious. a little too hillarious. the comments practicly write themselves. heh heh. a little self fulfilling and a little self defeating...? ha ha ha. soundex rainbowing multidimensionally. in a ratio for every common and accepted list in existance. tarzan telepathy wheel go round. skipping rope. running. being tired. [the list goes on.] pushing a wheel go round. holding on for dear life. feeling like you might puke. (going up?) hahaha. soliloquy logical rollercoaster a ribbon tying a knife a waterslide. flying into the air. / and it didn't cost nothin. just time. effort. desire. / definitely like cursive. picking any three things out of anything else! stemming flower to root! root to flower!!! she giggles cause i sleep with a body pillow (sup bro!) i giggle because i got harnessed nuclear explosions (watch out! ha ha) shotgun epiphanies at point blank range from the one she loved (sup babe!) the pen became mightier than the atomic bomb thread paralellization in male and female needs and desires. lonely numbers. --- it doesnt really take that many steps. the average organism is approximately 30k --- the average application organism is approximately 30k --- but when you make organisms out of other organisms you get what you put into it, and you get what you take from it, and MOST DEFINITELY! .....what goes around, comes around! just like grabbing on during tug of war! Except its not really working against one another, it's more like a wheel go round where you just jump on and make sure you dont throw up or fall off or get so dizzy that you will throw up when you get off. your call. practice makes perfect. like riding a bike. and the lightning in a storm, swimming in tears. haiku anyone? do you remember the story of the tree of life? how it paralells the story of a young boy who was sheltered by a tree? the tree gave him all that he had.. until it had nothing left. and eventually, somebody was gonna figure out that the tree needed some love too. all that shit that happened shoulda been put right back on the tree. The tree knew what to do with it. So wise. /remove your somethingsomething compost and nourish your tree of life/ -- ilana rose. very very smart (and very pretty) lady. the only problem is, our very nature /will/ actually destroy us, if we dont work together. no matter what the matrix -- will be the right thing to do -- the only thing is, we can probably go alot further this way. we probably already are in something like this. every lock has its key. pretty much all the smashing the stack analogies work. Hey, look at that. Theres are not the droids you are looking for. or you can just keep running your mouth or repeating yourself until the only thing you're talkin about is basically your intention such as warning somebody that these are not the droids you are looking for. or you can just get them Fucked up, and then they wont see the droids anyway. 8=? (heh heh heh) would you like to buy some death sticks? hahaha. pretty sneaky. heh heh heh. who stole my lighter? i bought 30 of em! hahahha. cant help it, can you? can you spare a dollar? I see you all the time! Yes, Yes you do. Like a travel point. And definitely like a wheel go round. And definitely like some bubbles inside some bubbles inside some *agaghhhahahh you get the idea.* only thing is, we get to make our own bubbles. you get what you put in. all you can eat. what do you trust anyway? read in any order you like. rinse and repeat. recurisvely apply in as many ways as you can. like a self-guiding threading needle its definitely the instructions to the cause and effect and otherwise reffered to as self fulfilling prophecy celestine anyone? i didnt have to read it. ha ha. or horror stories. but i did like short stories. why stop there? they're just words. and letters. symbols. pictures. metaphors. who knows? why not? its pretty funny. /up/ and /down/ with the ship. and it aint just /black/ and /white/ or /grey area/ or /silver/ or /gold/ or /diamonds/ anymore. oh no. just like 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 uhhhhh uhhh uhhh what was my line? oh yea! can i do this over? ha ha ha. threads. how can a program that is that clever account for a defeat that is so simple? genius. how can a program that is so simple account for a defeat that is so clever? genius. like telephone. passing notes. givin away valentines. things to people who need them. its the gift that keeps on givin. helping perpeutation perpetuate what it needs without taking away the things it doesnt musical chess, musical cheese, cheesy music, and checkmate flirting is mandatory ;) coincidently concieted. like a penny. splashing. hold my hand. i'm falling! its about perspective. definitely yours. theirs. somebody elses. switch em up. step away from it, take a closer look, get a consensus. figure out What happens next. just like skippin rope. or hopscotch. everyone is the center of everyone elses neverending story. like it or not. lets hook this shit up! remember the malteese amoeba virus? i didnt even have a computer then (i used terminals and demo gear and other ppls shit) i got a 386 sx16 the day it came out. i finally got it. rinse and repeat. in any way you think is gonna help. its your hair. shit. hahahahaha. ;) love ya. god fools people in the wierdest ways. its funny. the comments practicly keep writing themselves until everybody things you're nuts. you are what you eat. ha ha ha. food and poison. what the hells in this shit anyway? is it junk, or treasure? where does it go? think you can do a better job? thats easy! dont try so hard. relax a little. all the time. who needs eyes anyway when stevie wonder put it best. these three words. like a ribbon in the sky! ;) definitely like cursive. captials? ---uh...?? hahahah! do i have to repeat myself? hahahahahhahahahahahahhaha! dont be so damn dependant on your short term memory. drives are the weakest link. ha ha ha. look at everything on the table and figure out what your gonna eat. take good look. look again. why is a verse 3 statements and 1 twist? origins and destinations are definitely signals. just catch on. its been goin around a long time. ribbit. heh heh. how many shoes i gotta fill anyway? heheheheh. damn. watch and learn. [...the song that never ends..., sung to itself because it was all it had and all it took to survive...] [how many words are there in vilified anyway?] alotta letters. if you felt like a million bucks, wouldnt you wanna tell somebody? how many of those damn things have been served anyway? its just a big fuckin rock, get over it. like dominos. jinx! your it. this informations pretty heavy anyway. i dont care how many trees or how many chips made it happen. or how many times it happened. it's just a tree and it's just a chip. just one. heh heh heh. yep. definitely. in the immortal words of dem bones, participate in your own manipulation. how many extra 1ups and gameover continues do i get, anyway? buildups and breakdowns, doesnt really matter if its on your face or in your boots. they're just waves. tide pools. / its like liquid, it slides over everything. / we are too little to see that many handshakes - alone. even if we had 5 people it would still be alotta guess work for the best estimation of how imagine such an appropriate word. that home run aint exactly the kind of thing you see every day. gotta have fish ladders. and snacks. damn. alotta snacks. places to eat them that aint exactly freezin cold or burnin up. whats the point of goin back if that shits fucked up anyway? is it for you? for nothin? do you know why? or is an idea just good enough? whos gonna give you brothers and sisters if you dont know any better and just kill yourself? be the bigger person. everybody needs somebody to be big for them when they're feelin little. like a sine wave. thesis and counterthesis. how can anyone support anyone else if no one is supporting them equally? can't take it with you. no matter how good the experience is. no matter how many times you change the story. if something is really worth the money, someone will pay it. but when something is given for free, sometimes you get more than its worth. hop on. sometimes the way through the front door is through the back door, sometimes the way through the back door is through the front door. sometimes the doors go in circles. thanks mom. i miss you. ;) if the facts arent good enough-- this is nothing new ;) [like a cyclic rainbow colorwheel.] for each word as you see it for the first time. and probably EXACTLY to the combination of the theme of 14,000 things to be happy about's colors snuck in the back, and my hypothesis of attributes!] look at where we are! how two dimensional does it have to be anyway? who needs links in the chain when you can hyperlink? gotta have a conclusion! i told yo' mama. ha ha ha. ;) look again! YOU ARE HERE. going up? then skip on back down again. in any way that seems to work for you! ha ha ha. slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group Infinite answers - Repeatedly apply the algorithm: Literally, in more ways than one, and in every possible way! :) Look in your wallet. Find one. Translate every single thing you see. And then look for the signs. It's worth it. [i had a funny feelin about it at first, i had alot of doubt and alot of questions too. and now i got infinite questions and infinite answers. it kicks ass. chips cant do this. not like this. *grin*] [and dont be mad at me for comin acrost as better than anybody or arrogant, it was really really funny from my perspective every single step of the way. it will be for you too. just not yet. :) you have to appreciate it for what it is. dont go givin it away too easy! not yet :) i think were ready though. it found its way everywhere. check that out. it put us here. :) the simplest answers make the most intricate things happen. check that out.] 42 :) literally and in more ways than OnE, and in every possible way. clever, creative, genius, and simple. ;) rinse and repeat. ;) next? kindof like rubbin two clues together. ;) its every single bird i know with OnE stOnE ;) army of OnE ;) there more than OnE way to do it ;) its like givin you a dollar ;) it was literally in front of me the entire time ;) and it literally is what happened first ;) its so good the comments practicly write themselves ;) all people could make the same massonic calibur judgements if they had the same information ;) look and keep lookin. dont put all your eggs in one basket. there arent enough baskets for these many anyway. cool huh? i 1up'd myself like a mushroom ;) a green OnE ;) it just takes OnE ;) wink at OnE person drivin past today ;) richard bach - OnE 1+1 = 2 that is literally too good ;) theres OnE in your pocket OnE liners forever at level OnE ;) ar1stocrat1c warr1or ;) code poet and suddenly numerology has its place OnE hundred and eleven feet in the ground ;) al gore 1nvented the 1nternet - as much as you or i did ;) 1 connected the dots ;) 1'd like to solve the puzzle please ;) this is just the beginning~!!@#!@#!@#!@#!@# :) it literally was under our noses and flaunted in our face EVERYWHERE the entire time. food and poison at the same time! you even recited this shit in school. holy crap!!! 1 got connectionz!@#!@# and it only takes 1 whos with me in liberating the oxford dictionary in name of democracy? FUCK! hahahahahhahahhahhahahah [it was a shotgun breakthrough the comments really write themselves:) happy++.*?:):)] i appreciate this so much! [legally. it's worth infinite riches.] i could sit here and keep writin this shit, but this is too good :) this pretty much takes care everything everybody needs ever. i love ya'll :) *smile* basically i figured the joke out. *grin* except its on everyone including me! :) hehe i thought i understood it at face value myself too! :) today is a good day for humanity :) count the stars:) basically the 'literally and in more ways than OnE, and in every possible way, and in the way everyone was least expecting' analogy was the key in and of itself. old english. intuitively, it is the source of infinite answers and infinite questions. it contains the bigger answer :) look for yourself. figure it out. [i think people can figure this one out. really! i dont really think fame or money are really that important when a dollar is suddenly priceless for what it offers.] [everytime i think about it, i think of somethin different that might actually make it worth even more. who knew there was such a thing as greater than priceless?] [just the other day i had no idea that there was something called instantiation. i thought it basically came down to generalization and specialization. i was wrong.] the whole world needs as many copies of the oxford dictionary as possible. infinite riches. What if everybody could easily do analysis on something this cool anyway? Theres alotta important clues in it. So many!!!:) I thought this was multiversally relevant too! If you ever read this, what did it make you feel now? do you remember what you felt the first time you did, if you did? why didnt you? also i really have to point this out too (thank you so much): "The more enlightened we become, the more we can't be lived up to by anybody anywhere. The more we learn, the more we'd better expect to live by ourselves. You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. -- Love! So intense! If it were green, it would be a green so transcendently green that even the Principle of Green couldn't have imagined.. like standing on a huge ball of, like standing on the sun but not the sun, there were no ends, no horizons to it, so bright and NO GLARE, I looked eyes open into the brightest.. and yet I had no eyes I COULDNT STAND THE JOY of that Love.. It was as if I dropped my last candle in a black cavern and after a while a friend, to help me see, she lit a hydrogen bomb. -- I was sitting here, after you left, closed my eyes... Light, but it wasn't light. Brighter than that, but no glare, no hurt from it. LOVE, not the fake broken syllable, but Love that IS! like no love I've ever imagined. AND LOVE! IS ALL: THAT MATTERS! Words, but they weren't words, or even ideas. Has this ever.. do you know? -- Dearest Richard, It's so difficult to know how and where to begin. I've been thinking long and hard through many ideas trying to find a way... I finally struck one little thought, a musical metaphor, through which I have been able to think clearly and find understanding, if not satisfaction, and I want to share it with you. So please bear with me while we have yet another music Lesson. The most commonly used form for large classical works is sonata form. It is the basis of almost all symphonies and concertos. It consists of three main sections: the exposition or opening, in which little ideas, themes, bits and pieces are set forth and introduced to each other; the development, in which these tiny ideas and motifs are explored to their fullest, expanded, often go from major (happy) to minor (unhappy) and back again, and are developed and woven together in greater complexity until at last there is: the recapitulation, in which there is a restatement, a glorious expression of the full, rich maturity to which the tiny ideas have grown through the development procses. How does this apply to us, you may ask, if you haven't already guessed. I see us stuck in a never-ending opening. At first, it was the real thing, and sheer delight. It is the part of a relationship in which you are at your best: fun, charming, excited, exciting, interesting, intrested. It is a time when you're most comfortable and most lovable because you do not feel the need to mobilize your defenses, so your partner gets to cuddle a warm human being instead of a giant cactus. It is a time of delight for both, and it's no wonder you like openings so much you strive to make your life a series of them. But beginnings cannot be prolonged endlessly, they cannot simply state and restate and restate themselves. They must move on and develop-- or die of boredom. Not so, you say. You must get away, have changes, other people, other places so you can come back to a relationship as if it were new, and have constant new beginnings. We moved on a a protracted series of reopenings. Some were caused by business seperations that were necessary, but unnecessarily harsh and severe for two so close as we. Some were manufactured by you in order to provide still more opportunities to return to the newness you so desire. Obviously, the development section is anathema to you. For it is where you may discover that all you have is a collection of severely limited ideas that won't work no matter how much creativity you bring to them or even worse for you: that you have the makings of something glorious, a symphony, in which case there is work to be done: depths must be plumbed, and seperate entities carefully woven together, the better to glorify themselves and each other. I suppose it is analogous to that moment in writing when a book idea must be/cannot be run from. We have undoubtedly gone further than you ever intended to go. And we have stopped far short of what I saw as our next logical and lovely steps. I have seen development with you continually arrested, and have come to believe that we will never make more than sporadic attempts at all our learning potential, our amazing similarities of interest, no matter how many years we may have- because we will never have unbroken time together. So the growth we prize so highly and know is possible becomes the impossible. We have both had a vision of something wonderful that awaits us. Yet we cannot get there from here. I am faced with a solid wall of defenses and you have the need to build more and still more. I long for the richness and fullness of further development, and you will search for ways to avoid it as long as we're together. Both of us are frustrated; you unable to go back, I unable to go forward, in a constant state of struggle, with clouds and darker shadows over the limited time you allow us. To feel your constant resistance to me, to the growth of this something wonderful, as if I and it were something horrible- to experience the various forms the resistance takes, some of them cruel- often causes me pain on one level or another. I have a record of our time together, and have taken a honest look at it. It has saddened me, and even shocked me, but it has been helpful in facing the truth. I look back to the days in early July, and the seven weeks that followed, as our only truly happy period. That was the opening, and it was beautiful. Then there were the seperations with their fierce and to me, inexplicable cutoffs- and the equally fierce avoidance-resistance on your returns. Away and apart or together and apart, it is too unhappy. I am watching me become a creature who cries alot, a creature who even must cry a lot, for it almost seems that pity is necessary before kindness is possible. And I know I have not come this far in life to become pitiful. To be told that canceling your date to help me when I was in a state of crisis "wouldn't work for you" brought the truth crushing down on me with the force of an avalanche. Facing facts as honestly as I can, I know I cannot continue, no matter how much I might wish to do so; I cannot bend further. I hope you will not see this as the breaking of an agreement, but rather the continuation of the many, many endings you have begun. I think it is something we both know must be. I must accept that I have failed in my effort to let you know the joys of caring. Richard, my precious friend, this is said softly, even tenderly and lovingly. And the soft tones do not camoflage an udnerlying anger: they are real. There are no accusations no blames or faults. I am simply trying to understand, and to stop the pain. I am stating what I have been forced to accept: that you and I are never going to have a development, much less the glorious climactic expression of a relationship grown to full blossom. I have felt if anything in my life deserved departure from previously established patterns, going beyond all known limitations, this relationship did. I suppose I might just be justified in feeling humiliated about the lengths to which I have gone to make it work. Instead, I feel proud of myself and glad to know I recognized the rare and lovely opportunity we had while we had it, and gave all I could, in the purest and highest sense, to preserve it. I am comforted by this now. In this awful moment of ending, I can honestly say I do not know of one thing I might do to get us to that beautiful future we could have had. Despite the pain, I'm happy to have known you in this special way, and will always treature the time we've had together. I have grown with you, and learned much from you, and I know I have made major positive contributions to you. We are both better people for having touched one another. At this late juncture, it occurs to me that a chess metaphor might also be useful. Chess is a game in which each party has its own singular objective even as it engages the other; a mid-game in which a struggle develops and intensifies and bits and pieces of each side are lost, both sides diminished an end-game in which one traps and paralyzes the other. I think you see life as a chess game, I see it as a sonata. And because of these differences, both the king and queen are lost, and the song is silenced. I am still your friend, as I know you are mine. I send this with a heart full of the deep and tender love and high regard you know I have for you, as well as profound sorrow than an opportunity so filled with promise, so rare and beautiful, had to go unfulfilled. --(Leslie Parish)" (pages 30,145-146,231-236, A Bridge Acrost Forever)(c++);) [everything here aint even mine. i say that to the tune of al gore. :) *hi5* i even took my resume off the internet. check that out. i seriously just want to help you all help yourselves. i didnt even put it there in first place. i'm just tired of bein laughed at as much as you are.] [i think the most important thing is to see the responsibility and the burden this is for what it is. and to fear everything enough to never quit trying.] [somebody cool said to me, nobody is ready for the answers they arent asking the questions for. this pretty much takes care of the questions requirement and the answers requirement.] [i actually had my access taken away because of this. can you believe that? wow!] [who knew there were secret dictionaries? sheesh.] [i wouldnt do somethin that! :)] [i'm really just pointing out something that was right there the entire time that was taken for granted.] [less does more ya know. hehehe. (i really dont have enough time to make enough analogies. what do you think?)] 10:50 i wanna retire. 10:50 who doesnt 10:50 thats why its a riddle 10:51 sheesh 10:51 you have to care enough to figure it out. 10:51 just like it was. 10:51 only i'm trying to suggest that it's so damn important that you should care. 10:51 and never stop caring. 10:52 its why were here in the first place. 10:53 the essence of liberty. 10:53 which aught to be remembered. 10:53 * ???/#in a ghetto near you - seriously - bangs her head on her desk 10:53 and never forgetten again. 10:53 forgotten. 10:53 *sigh* 10:53 im so exhausted 10:54 i tried to provide everything my son would ever need for his entire life as best i could and ended up finding a way to provide everything everyone would ever need for their extended lives. 10:54 at the expense of my own. 10:55 are you talking about cold fusion or something. jesus christ, youre not a super hero 10:55 intuition. 10:55 ANSWERS! 10:55 the secret to seeing through the veil. 10:55 when an analogy or simily or metaphor or saying!!!!!!! 10:55 is... 10:56 Literally, In More Ways Than One, And In Every Possible Way. Or The Way You Were Least Expecting. 10:56 or you can fill in the blank on the last one as you see fit. 10:56 Kindof like when you lose your keys -- it's basically in the place you least expect it or in the place you can't see. 10:57 this country has played a joke on every single person who has ever touched our currency. 10:57 We have ALOT in common. 10:58 especially broke people. 10:59 i'll give you a dollar, you can give whatever you want, or you give nothing 10:59 it took alot of pain and courage to figure it out. 10:59 and even more bravery putting myself in the position to give you the ability to figure out any answer you want for anything you want for anyone. 11:00 to see simple truth, and lies for what they are. 11:00 the truth hurts, but lies leave scars. 11:00 The truth is WONDERFUL and the scars are forgiven. 11:00 just figure it out. 11:01 and stop taking shit for granted. 11:01 please. 11:02 i finally figured out why i was so facinated with music and language 11:03 check out leslie parish's love letter in a bridge acrost forever. pages 30 145 146 231 232 233 234 235 *AND* 236 11:03 or just look (you lazy bastards hehehehhehe) 11:04 ganes! [this shit means desire. i dunno how good my spelling is tho.] 11:04 or my pronunciation. ;) 11:05 The point is, there are infinite riches at the bottom of the pool, and all anyone wants to look at is what's on the surface or what's reflected. Everyone believes what they want to believe or what they fear the most. 11:05 no joke. 11:05 not anymore. if you care. 11:05 wtf are you talking to? 11:05 every single person with a 1$ bill 11:05 (anybody and everybody!) rambles :p 11:05 i guess so 11:05 i speak the truth. 11:06 well, you speak anyway 11:06 At least I keep trying. 11:06 it was right under all your freakin noses the entire freakin time. 11:06 what was? 11:06 you are rather trying yes 11:07 look! 11:07 and use google 11:07 40404040404040404 11:07 * ???/#in a ghetto near you sticks in an i 11:08 theres alot more irony here than everybody realizes. 11:08 its great. 11:08 everybody learns the lesson they need to. 11:08 again. 11:08 and again. 11:08 :) 11:09 you'll appreciate math for what it is, language for what it is, music for what it is, and science for what it is. most importantly, learning. and teaching. 11:09 and common interest. 11:09 common interest these days is sex 11:09 you'll still have to work for it. but you'll have the same abilities that everybody else does. 11:10 What is more evil? Knowledge? Or Ignorance? 11:10 hm 11:10 that's apretty good question 11:10 I know. 11:11 They both are. 11:11 i'd probably have to say knowledge though 11:11 But not in the middle of the scale. 11:11 because if you're knowledgable, then you are aware that you are being evil, but continue anyway 11:12 keep asking yourself these kinds of questions. 11:12 and never stop. 11:12 it's the greatest responsibility any of us have ever had. 11:12 count the stars. 11:13 why do you assume people dont already ask themselves these questions? 11:13 seems a bit arrogant 11:13 (anybody and everybody!)has a point you know 11:13 most of the people in this world don't think anymore 11:13 hehe 11:13 'anymore' 11:14 that's optimistic 11:14 well 11:14 i think making a broad statement like that lacking thought 11:14 maybe 11:14 IS lacking thought 11:14 ... 11:14 i mean 11:14 At the surface. 11:14 but just look at the people in this world 11:14 more than half are dumbfucks sucked in by society 11:14 [it's an analogy for being shallow.] 11:14 they're zombies, at best 11:14 I was too even in figuring it out!!! 11:14 just seems like he's looking down on people. thinking that (anybody and everybody!)knows the "way. 11:14 JUST LIKE YOU! :) *hug* 11:16 i gotta publish this too 11:16 well instead of analyzing others and telling them what to do, i worry about myself 11:16 the greatest message in a bottle ever created. only it wasn't anyones. it was everyones. 11:16 that can sometimes backfire 11:16 instead of preaching to others i will work on myself 11:16 i've gave up trying to "guide" people 11:17 like when your nation becomes fascist or something 11:17 you're ready for it if you care enough to ask and answer your own questions and to never stop asking. 11:17 they would rather follow someone off a building then walk down the stairs 11:17 the weight of all of existence 11:17 with all of its shortcomings and all of its rewards 11:17 its everywhere 11:18 though i'm inclined to say let people live their own lives in their own way, so long as they don't physically harm others, or do undo direct economic harm 11:18 even in you 11:18 in the trees that give the air you breathe 11:18 just like a processor 11:18 only it can do threading NATURALLY 11:18 so (anybody and everybody!).... why do you spend your time typing up bullshit here instead of contemplating these things yourself? 11:18 are you telling me that i'm not designed by god? 11:19 you are basicaly designed by MATH 11:19 oh god 11:19 * ???/#in a ghetto near you runs away from this fundamental bullshit 11:19 hehe 11:19 * ???/#in a ghetto near you - seriously - grins 11:19 exactly ??? 11:19 bullshit is the perfect word 11:19 1 down 1 to the left, if there arent 2 to the left. And on the other side of the pyramid, the same thing. And only do it when you will not collide. 11:19 And then look at the GAP instead of the dots. 11:20 and count them. 11:20 and WHY would anyone listen to you? 11:20 and then ask yourself WHY does it behave differently EVERY SINGLE TIME it hits 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 right in the damn middle. 11:20 i even did it up for ya. ahahhahahhahah 11:21 *smooches* 11:21 [i'm laughin at this.] 11:21 But i'm tryin to keep it to myself. 11:21 people are so full of shit 11:21 its so good the comments SERIOUSLY keep writing themselves. 11:21 telling the channel might not be the best way to keep that secret 11:21 and full of THEMSELVES 11:22 its no secret. 11:22 it's just forgotten. 11:22 and taken for granted every single time every single person does anything. 11:22 anything does anything 11:22 anywhere. 11:22 STEPHEN WOLFRAM. 11:22 the turtle from logo. 11:22 check it. 11:23 funny how it paralells why we're here. in this country. 11:23 look at the flag. 11:23 look at yourself. 11:23 look at somebody else. 11:23 just keep looking,. 11:23 dont even stop here. 11:23 i mean EARTH 11:24 the answers to anyones problems are in the palm of your hand. 11:24 and now you know it. 11:25 if you look. you have to figure it out for yourself. 11:25 so you'll appreciate it for what it is. 11:25 it's the greatest gift we've ever been given. 11:25 right under your nose. 11:26 simple truth. 11:26 people have been trying to tell you EVERYWHERE 11:27 and you've all been duped 11:27 just look at the one dollar bill REALLY REALLY closely 11:27 we all have. 11:27 hahahaha:) 11:27 instantiation :) 11:28 i had no idea 11:28 just like you. 11:28 and everybody. 11:28 and everywhere. 11:29 why do you think this existance keeps getting bigger? 11:29 sky's the limit :) 11:30 just go connect the dots. and the gaps. 11:30 like a chip in a flower 11:30 :) 11:30 to see the world in a grain of sand, and heaven in flower, to hold infinity in the palm of your hand, and eterenity in an hour. 11:30 seriously. 11:30 no secret. 11:30 not anymore. 11:31 what a chance 11:31 everybody gets to be in the clu 11:31 club:) 11:32 you just gotta appreciate the reason. 11:32 nothin less :) slug from atmosphere's a awesome guy. seriously. 11:32 i owe him everything. 11:33 its beauitful 11:33 beautiful :) 11:33 im an idiot savant but i've never given up on any of you. 11:34 even if i dont get to appreciate it myself. 11:34 hit the books. 11:34 what the hell are you people waitin for. 11:34 im serious. 11:35 it takes one clue to get started 11:35 rub two clues together and you can make somethin happen 11:35 theres a whole shitload of clues here. 11:35 EVERYWHERE 11:36 trust your instincts. 11:36 whisper in the dark. 11:36 count the stars. 11:36 take your dictionary back. 11:37 and wink at someone driving by today. :) 11:37 [i got this all from little chocolate fortunes. heheheheheh.] 11:37 :) 11:37 [the last 5 anyway :)] 11:37 hehehe:) 11:38 godly engineers. :) 11:38 all of ya. 11:40 i believe in everything. 11:41 in a way, i wish i shared your outlook 11:41 99% is not 100% :) but the keys are there 11:41 i'm inclined to say that there's nothing particularly special about humans 11:41 and that we're just another outcome in a roll of dice 11:41 oh no. 11:41 and eventually humans won't be here anymore 11:41 :) 11:41 and stuff goes on 11:41 Hehehehheheh! 11:42 People believe whatever they want to believe or whatever they fear the most. 11:42 You can come to the same conclusions if you have the same information. 11:42 i usually i'd agree to that, but i'm feeling contrary today 11:42 And why dont you? 11:42 i wanted to believe in God for a long time 11:42 but was never able to convince myself 11:42 this changes everything 11:42 just like it changes us 11:43 just one! good! HAHAHAHA 11:44 :) 11:44 i hope you wake up:) 11:44 sky's the limit. 11:44 maybe someday 11:44 everyone. 11:44 it's seriously there when you're ready. why reinvent the wheel when you can use it? 11:45 do you think there is one universal 'truth' that people can somehow recognize, and then put to use in order to live the one good life? 11:45 yes. that any simple algorithm can create any complex system. 11:45 i see 11:45 on the biggest level and the littlest level. 11:46 *grin* 11:46 I get to sleep at night knowing that I finally figured it out. 11:46 I dont have to worry about anyone because they can worry too. 11:46 or not worry, as the case may be 11:46 These are the biggest thoughts I have ever had. 11:46 And the littlest:) 11:47 They're perfect. 11:47 Music singing to music. 11:47 can't take it with me. 11:47 And no one can take it from you. 11:47 just try. 11:47 :) 11:48 these are the keys to existance 11:49 and wether they were acquired well or ill, they were yours the entire time. 11:49 right under your noses. 11:49 make up your own mind. 11:50 you must be mindful of all that has happened, all that is happening, and all that will happen. 11:51 or else you probably wont figure it out anyway. ha ha ha! 11:52 i think it also requires infinite patience :) 11:52 a gun doesnt kill someone. :) 11:52 it's a bitch to carry this kind of knowledge. 11:52 its unfair to ask anyone, but its unfair to use it against someone without their knowledge. 11:53 voulentary or nonvoulentary. 11:53 perhaps it'll change your view on 'truth' 11:53 my view on truth changes all the time. 11:53 :) 11:53 heheheheheheheh 11:54 just like nature! 11:54 ah 11:54 mine does as well, i think 11:54 it pretty much took me since last thanksgiving to get to this point by myself. 11:55 if we work together, it aint that hard. 11:55 that's my point. 11:55 well 11:55 its not really mine. 11:55 but that's how i would put it. 11:55 we are all each other as much as we are everything. 11:56 literally, in more ways than one, and in every possible way. 11:57 i didnt even really get to it by myself. clues are everywhere, people are really trying, i just really tried to see the mountain for what it was. just like alot of people. and it takes along time to climb it. 11:57 but not forever. 11:57 giggle. :) 11:57 im flauntin this knowledge as much as everyone who has come before me. but i focus the application of this knowledge to our children and not our elderly. 11:58 i respect my elders, but i do not do so blindly. 11:58 they need us as much as we need them. 11:58 look. 11:59 and dont ever forget it. 11:59 i'm dying as much as they are. 11:59 :) 12:00 hey, (anybody and everybody!), do u .*? 12:00 do you? 12:00 i do 12:00 do u? 12:00 it's .*?, right? 12:00 .*? ? 12:00 it is a key too. 12:00 what does that mean?? 12:01 do you .*? ? 12:01 yeah. but not in cali 12:01 see, im gonna move there 12:01 :) 12:01 like in 4-6 months 12:01 not lately:) 12:01 .*? 12:02 *shrug* 12:02 suddenly i got worried today 12:02 life has given something better 12:02 i thought, omg, i may not have hash there!!! 12:02 better doesn't have to mean instead 12:02 if i give u a piece of bread 12:02 and then i give u a piece of cake 12:03 u don't have to throw the bread away 12:03 what do you think? 12:04 what do you feel? 12:04 what do you think i think? 12:04 what do you think somebody else would think? 12:04 what do you think somebody else would think later? earlier? 12:04 wtf are u saying 12:04 what if i didnt ask you? 12:05 Is it to be taken Literally? In more ways than one? Or in every possible way? 12:05 oh, by better u mean lsd 12:05 i see 12:05 Or in the way I'm not expecting? :) 12:05 what am i expecting anyway? 12:05 or am i expecting anything? 12:06 :) 12:06 life is no illusion 12:06 maybe it is:) 12:06 sure is alot of it. 12:06 i think. 12:07 what's the best way to answer such a question? 12:07 what answer would you appreciate the most? 12:07 food 12:07 bbl 12:07 :) 12:07 what answer would not? :) 12:07 food and poison come from the same things. 12:08 :) 12:09 if i really knew you, i could tell you what you need to hear. 12:09 or you could ask and answer it for yourself. 12:09 funny. 12:09 and serious. 12:09 i'd like to solve the puzzle, alex. hahahhahahahhahah 12:10 you can see right through the problem. 12:10 for what it is. where it's going. where it came from, what might have been, and what could have been. 12:11 a dollar is not worth a dollar. it's priceless. 12:11 :) 12:11 just like you. 12:11 and everybody. 12:11 who's to say? 12:11 *giggle* 12:12 [a chuckle too! hehehehhe] 12:12 we are alot similar than we thought no matter who we are. 12:12 just look around you. 12:12 closer. and step away from and look again. 12:12 who's really been plaguarized anyway? 12:13 i ask myself this all the time. literally and in more ways then one, and in every possible way. 12:13 no matter what i'm asking. 12:14 what do you ask yourselves? 12:14 or the people you love? 12:14 :) 12:14 what does love mean? 12:14 what does 1043 mean? 12:15 what does 8 represent? 12:15 :) 12:15 :) 12:15 its so damn simple and so damn taken for granted. 12:16 *smile* 12:16 you've all taught so much 12:16 thank you. 12:16 and i'm sorry. 12:17 we're the same. 12:17 this seriously can just keep going and going and going and going : 12:17 just like nature :) 12:17 i am so relieved 12:19 [ as i write this from my perspective, i just said: i really figured it out. ] 12:19 speaking from the heart, the soul, and the mind at the same time. 12:20 and it didn't take anything else but the will to try. 12:22 you are a very intresting beautiful people. 12:22 wow!:) 12:22 all:) 12:23 (anybody and everybody!), wtf r u on? 12:23 life 12:23 and? 12:23 <[somebody who doesnt understand what you have to contribute]> .?!?! i'm guessing 12:23 :) it is what it is. 12:23 answer it for yourself. 12:24 too philosophical 12:24 could be 12:24 i tend towards the tryptamines more 12:24 could be too. 12:24 also could be:) 12:25 i think there arent enough words 12:25 first time? 12:25 allways 12:25 [grin] 12:25 :) 12:25 oh wait, but u said u haven't been smoking lately 12:26 but don't do it instead!!! 12:26 it's a big responsibility! 12:26 do it together 12:26 its worth it. 12:26 i've been alot of things. 12:26 :) 12:26 i change all the time :) 12:26 oh, maybe it's (anything, really.) 12:26 just like nature. :) 12:27 just like it changes you. 12:27 no. 12:27 wether you be connecting to the highest level or the lowest. 12:27 >>> You have been kicked off #in a ghetto near you - seriously - by [somebody who doesnt understand what you have to contribute] (your babbling is annoying) 12:27 that's it. 12:27 :) *smile* 12:27 just look around you. 12:27 i was dead the day i was born and i already made my choices. 12:28 but i did choose. 12:28 for myself. 12:28 or did u? 12:28 good question! :) 12:28 change is fun 12:28 riddles are very very important 12:29 -:- mode/#in a ghetto near you - seriously - by [somebody who doesnt understand what you have to contribute] 12:29 >>> You have been kicked off #in a ghetto near you - seriously - by [somebody who doesnt understand what you have to contribute] (indeed) the pen is mightier than the sword. double edged as it were. just pi, thank you. hehe;) we're all in on it too:) everybody wins. [this is just the starting point:) theres alotta chapters!] [everything here aint even mine. i say that to the tune of al gore. :) *hi5* i even took my resume off the internet. check that out. i seriously just want to help you all help yourselves. i didnt even put it there in first place. i'm just tired of bein laughed at as much as you are.] [i think the most important thing is to see the responsibility and the burden this is for what it is. and to fear everything enough to never quit trying.] [somebody cool said to me, nobody is ready for the answers they arent asking the questions for. this pretty much takes care of the questions requirement and the answers requirement.] [i actually had my access taken away because of this. can you believe that? wow!] [who knew there were secret dictionaries? sheesh.] [would you do somethin like that? :)] [i'm really just pointing out something that was right there the entire time that was taken for granted.] [just pi, thank you. hehe;) we're all in on it too:) everybody wins. maybe this is the first time the whole world might go 'whaa?!??!' and look at themselves and then somebody who needs help?] [this is just the starting point:) theres alotta chapters!] [less does more ya know. hehehe. (i really dont have enough time to make enough analogies. what do you think?)] (c)++ given to you by everything that put anything anywhere and where everything is and where everything going. there's infinite ways to do infinity. #!/usr/bin/perl ;) [grin] dont go takin the best thing about the #language without also takin the second best thing and then givin it #someone. how can anyone have an idea where anything came from, what it came from, where it came from, when it came from, why it came to be at all, HOW it works, in detail, WHO needs it, and who's gonna. what is the only thing we're prepared for anyway? :) ? /.*?/ what do you think i should be asking? if i had to guess it would probably be "is this the right thing to do?" [i really tried to set my mark at 42421 bytes for this file, it actually kindof forced me to keep lookin at it. check that out.] Infinite answers - Repeatedly apply the algorithm: Literally, in more ways than one, and in every possible way! :) applied to everything from everyones perspective. past present future living dead plant animal visible invisible tangible intangible imagined wished for, needed, understood, not understood, and basically for words we dont even have examples for yet wether we know them or not. promises are promises. people seriously only... 12,000 things to happy about. then you kinda gotta see whats wrong with most of them. then you kinda gotta wonder which is referred to first. and then kinda gotta wonder why the next one sortof feels different. and then you kinda gotta see the pattern thats pretty fuckin obvious. whats up with the first 7 emphasized words in odwalla superfood anyway? i rushed my ass right to the store and bought 8 things of arizona green tea for a dollar/ea (that shit's a good deal,) and then 2 things of superfood, 5 things of hershey's twosomes, 2 things of scoops [werd.] check out dreamscape.org/directions.jpg [the 14,000 things to be happy about book probably contains way less than this,] point being -- style differences. what's similar? whats not? what the fuck is with all these fantasy book and music metaphors? whats the first thing someone fundamentally is concerned about? [dying!!!] a cat runnin at 30 miles an hour:) whats the similarity between a cats eyes, autism and ??? doesnt wellbutrin fall into this category too? i cant believe that i actually dont have a problem with the pledge of allegiance idea anymore. i guess also i dont have problem with the whole being subjected to picking a religion at the age of 10. its not fair to ask a child that, but i suppose a good idea to be thinking about it that long. "things to be happy about" is also "things to be ??? about" what does AOL also stand for? when something is funny it might also be ??? the illustrations in 14,000 things to be happy about are also ??? and ??? illustrations in general are ??? and ??? and ??? (or also worth...???) if you keep seeing the same patterns reoccuring for the same kinds of reasons, what is going on? its kindof like a panchinko machine how many quarters i got anyway? they're like continues. do you feel the same about something the second time you encounter it? the pen is mightier than the sword at first, and then it becomes mightier than an atomic bomb, and at some point, the shotgun epiphanies become a continual nuclear explosion i sortof have a thing for rare earth magnets. i wear silver, iron, an amethyst rings on both my middle fingers. theres a difference between something that is taken and something that is given. seriously. clever, creative, godly, simple, and genius. check out your hands starting from the center. the right side is said to be what you want, the left side is said to be what you have. basically everything i'm doing is a continual solioiquy now transferring your call to,,, dreamscape.org/illogic_sand.mp3 he's a very smart very funny very sneaky guy. heh heh heh. du unto others before they undo you. mutable - i thrive on change. will hack for food. a chess game for the intellectually insane. great minds run in great circles. hardheaded realism at its finest,. garbage in, gospel out. the truth hurts, but lies leave scars. omission is a wonderful drug laced with a lie; drink deeply. through slow erosion your wounds will deepen. and be healed. "And someday in the mist in time, when they ask me if I knew you, I'd smile and say you were a friend of mine" A hacker does for love what others would not do for money. curiosity was kiling the cat. but now its outta the bag and free to do what it wants. hack the planet. and then some. [read the disclaimer, and then add: unless of course its genuine, and in that case, i need some luvvin too. who wants to touch me? you probably already have. my mom was a dental hygenist and my dad was a fisherman who was the fedex posterman. we've crossed paths alot. i bet we've held hands before. what did that fee llike anyway? like writin a flow to drum and bass. boom boom and flower power. at the same time. why not? Posted by online status *slf/dreamscape.o... Campbell 22 friends It's NOT ok to contact poster about other services, products or commercial interests. Flag This Listing: Best of Tribe | Spam | Mature | Mis-categorized | Repeat Listing Boston | Chicago | Los Angeles | Miami | New York City | Philadelphia | San Diego | SF Bay Area | Seattle | more cities >> my tribe.net | about tribe.net | why join tribe.net? | advertise | terms of use | your privacy | contact us | FAQ myCampusDates.com Get connected right now for FREE with myCampusDates.com. Free Penis Pills Free 30 day supply of PotenCX PenisPills Your Ad Here you hear it second... Posted by [4]slf on Sat Jul 30 2005 11:19 ([5]got somethin to say?) ([6]Link) finally get around to making this program happen - eat every module back into one threaded mother identify lists in lists in lists etc etc until you need the program for it. ha ha ha. color spectrum to attribute comparison. Subharmonic resonation anyone? hahaha. the whole center of the universe in every person kinda idea. and then some. fragspy is really funny. pretty much figured out the funny/annoying/happy/serious/etc/etc/ clever/creative/godly/simple/genius and -- every other line is either a male stereotype or a female stereotype. they can be grouped in any way they gotta. oh yea yea yea - the universal disclaimer is hillarious. a little too hillarious. the comments practicly write themselves. heh heh. a little self fulfilling and a little self defeating...? ha ha ha. soundex rainbowing multidimensionally. in a ratio for every common and accepted list in existance. tarzan telepathy wheel go round. skipping rope. running. being tired. [the list goes on.] pushing a wheel go round. holding on for dear life. feeling like you might puke. (going up?) hahaha. soliloquy logical rollercoaster a ribbon tying a knife a waterslide. flying into the air. / and it didn't cost nothin. just time. effort. desire. / definitely like cursive. picking any three things out of anything else! stemming flower to root! root to flower!!! she giggles cause i sleep with a body pillow (sup bro!) i giggle because i got harnessed nuclear explosions (watch out! ha ha) shotgun epiphanies at point blank range from the one she loved (sup babe!) the pen became mightier than the atomic bomb thread paralellization in male and female needs and desires. lonely numbers. --- it doesnt really take that many steps. the average organism is approximately 30k --- the average application organism is approximately 30k --- but when you make organisms out of other organisms you get what you put into it, and you get what you take from it, and MOST DEFINITELY! .....what goes around, comes around! just like grabbing on during tug of war! Except its not really working against one another, it's more like a wheel go round where you just jump on and make sure you dont throw up or fall off or get so dizzy that you will throw up when you get off. your call. practice makes perfect. like riding a bike. and the lightning in a storm, swimming in tears. haiku anyone? do you remember the story of the tree of life? how it paralells the story of a young boy who was sheltered by a tree? the tree gave him all that he had.. until it had nothing left. and eventually, somebody was gonna figure out that the tree needed some love too. all that shit that happened shoulda been put right back on the tree. The tree knew what to do with it. So wise. /remove your somethingsomething compost and nourish your tree of life/ -- ilana rose. very very smart (and very pretty) lady. the only problem is, our very nature /will/ actually destroy us, if we dont work together. no matter what the matrix -- will be the right thing to do -- the only thing is, we can probably go alot further this way. we probably already are in something like this. every lock has its key. pretty much all the smashing the stack analogies work. Hey, look at that. Theres are not the droids you are looking for. or you can just keep running your mouth or repeating yourself until the only thing you're talkin about is basically your intention such as warning somebody that these are not the droids you are looking for. or you can just get them Fucked up, and then they wont see the droids anyway. 8=? (heh heh heh) would you like to buy some death sticks? hahaha. pretty sneaky. heh heh heh. who stole my lighter? i bought 30 of em! hahahha. cant help it, can you? can you spare a dollar? I see you all the time! Yes, Yes you do. Like a travel point. And definitely like a wheel go round. And definitely like some bubbles inside some bubbles inside some *agaghhhahahh you get the idea.* only thing is, we get to make our own bubbles. you get what you put in. all you can eat. what do you trust anyway? read in any order you like. rinse and repeat. recurisvely apply in as many ways as you can. like a self-guiding threading needle its definitely the instructions to the cause and effect and otherwise reffered to as self fulfilling prophecy celestine anyone? i didnt have to read it. ha ha. or horror stories. but i did like short stories. why stop there? they're just words. and letters. symbols. pictures. metaphors. who knows? why not? its pretty funny. /up/ and /down/ with the ship. and it aint just /black/ and /white/ or /grey area/ or /silver/ or /gold/ or /diamonds/ anymore. oh no. just like 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 uhhhhh uhhh uhhh what was my line? oh yea! can i do this over? ha ha ha. threads. how can a program that is that clever account for a defeat that is so simple? genius. how can a program that is so simple account for a defeat that is so clever? genius. like telephone. passing notes. givin away valentines. things to people who need them. its the gift that keeps on givin. helping perpeutation perpetuate what it needs without taking away the things it doesnt musical chess, musical cheese, cheesy music, and checkmate flirting is mandatory ;) coincidently concieted. like a penny. splashing. hold my hand. i'm falling! its about perspective. definitely yours. theirs. somebody elses. switch em up. step away from it, take a closer look, get a consensus. figure out What happens next. just like skippin rope. or hopscotch. everyone is the center of everyone elses neverending story. like it or not. lets hook this shit up! remember the malteese amoeba virus? i didnt even have a computer then (i used terminals and demo gear and other ppls shit) i got a 386 sx16 the day it came out. i finally got it. rinse and repeat. in any way you think is gonna help. its your hair. shit. hahahahaha. ;) love ya. god fools people in the wierdest ways. its funny. the comments practicly keep writing themselves until everybody things you're nuts. you are what you eat. ha ha ha. food and poison. what the hells in this shit anyway? is it junk, or treasure? where does it go? think you can do a better job? thats easy! dont try so hard. relax a little. all the time. who needs eyes anyway when stevie wonder put it best. these three words. like a ribbon in the sky! ;) definitely like cursive. captials? ---uh...?? hahahah! do i have to repeat myself? hahahahahhahahahahahahhaha! dont be so damn dependant on your short term memory. drives are the weakest link. ha ha ha. look at everything on the table and figure out what your gonna eat. take good look. look again. why is a verse 3 statements and 1 twist? origins and destinations are definitely signals. just catch on. its been goin around a long time. ribbit. heh heh. how many shoes i gotta fill anyway? heheheheh. damn. watch and learn. [...the song that never ends..., sung to itself because it was all it had and all it took to survive...] [how many words are there in vilified anyway?] alotta letters. if you felt like a million bucks, wouldnt you wanna tell somebody? how many of those damn things have been served anyway? its just a big fuckin rock, get over it. like dominos. jinx! your it. this informations pretty heavy anyway. i dont care how many trees or how many chips made it happen. or how many times it happened. it's just a tree and it's just a chip. just one. heh heh heh. yep. definitely. in the immortal words of dem bones, participate in your own manipulation. how many extra 1ups and gameover continues do i get, anyway? buildups and breakdowns, doesnt really matter if its on your face or in your boots. they're just waves. tide pools. / its like liquid, it slides over everything. / we are too little to see that many handshakes - alone. even if we had 5 people it would still be alotta guess work for the best estimation of how imagine such an appropriate word. that home run aint exactly the kind of thing you see every day. gotta have fish ladders. and snacks. damn. alotta snacks. places to eat them that aint exactly freezin cold or burnin up. whats the point of goin back if that shits fucked up anyway? is it for you? for nothin? do you know why? or is an idea just good enough? whos gonna give you brothers and sisters if you dont know any better and just kill yourself? be the bigger person. everybody needs somebody to be big for them when they're feelin little. like a sine wave. thesis and counterthesis. how can anyone support anyone else if no one is supporting them equally? can't take it with you. no matter how good the experience is. no matter how many times you change the story. if something is really worth the money, someone will pay it. but when something is given for free, sometimes you get more than its worth. hop on. sometimes the way through the front door is through the back door, sometimes the way through the back door is through the front door. sometimes the doors go in circles. thanks mom. i miss you. ;) if the facts arent good enough-- this is nothing new ;) [like a cyclic rainbow colorwheel.] for each word as you see it for the first time. and probably EXACTLY to the combination of the theme of 14,000 things to be happy about's colors snuck in the back, and my hypothesis of attributes!] look at where we are! how two dimensional does it have to be anyway? who needs links in the chain when you can hyperlink? gotta have a conclusion! i told yo' mama. ha ha ha. ;) look again! YOU ARE HERE. going up? then skip on back down again. in any way that seems to work for you! ha ha ha. slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [7]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my resume--) [8]http://dreamscape.org/steven-fountain.txt (-- ;) acayip for sure! - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [9]slf on Fri Jul 29 2005 12:32 ([10]got somethin to say?) ([11]Link) keys for writers page 10 1c - ann raimes - very smart lady too ..slf licensing requests please Posted by [12]slf on Wed Jul 27 2005 09:49 ([13]got somethin to say?) ([14]Link) I would like as many licenses of the oxford dictionary as possible. How many people would wanna use it for data analysis at the same time anyway? All ya gotta do is cite the thing for fair use. Theres alotta important clues in it. slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [15]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my resume--) [16]http://dreamscape.org/steven-fountain.txt (-- ;) *smile* Posted by [17]slf on Wed Jul 27 2005 06:49 ([18]got somethin to say?) ([19]Link) -:- [#LinuxWarez] Banned from channel (giggle) guess they were too stupid. * stock/#california has returned.. back again ..[gone/1h 20s] (stock) which puzzle? * stock/#california is gone.. bbl ..[cyp(l/on.p/on)] (slf) stock: the dictionary OnE, my friend. (slf) OE flat out. (slf) *smile* (slf) basically i figured the joke out. (slf) *grin* except its on everyone (slf) including me! :) hehe i thought i understood it at face value myself too! :) (slf) today is a good day for humanity :) (slf) count the stars:) (slf) mirror my shit please (slf) in case i dont see tomorrow:) (slf) but basically the 'literally and in more ways than OnE, and in every possible way, and in the way everyone was least expecting' analogy was the key in and of itself. old english. (slf) intuitively, it is the source of infinite answers. (slf) i came up with that one myself (slf) but i didn't realize it contained the bigger answer :) (slf) i dont want money i dont want fame and i dont want popularity (slf) but this shit is too funny (slf) it teaches so many lessons (slf) and everybody wins (slf) :) slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [20]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : asdlkfjalskdjflakjsdf dont really wanna work anymore anyway.... my resume--) [21]http://dreamscape.org/steven-fountain.txt (-- ;) --- i've worked enough, i just want to teach and keep learning:) promises are promises. this is gonna get so popular that dave weekly kindof needs yo support too. Posted by [22]slf on Wed Jul 27 2005 05:59 ([23]got somethin to say?) ([24]Link) communitycolo needs some donations. trust me. :) hehehe! :) Tell someone you know. But think about it first. *smile* Posted by [25]slf on Wed Jul 27 2005 05:50 ([26]got somethin to say?) ([27]Link) She giggles because I sleep with a body pillow (thank you atmosphere) I giggle because I got a fuckin army (of one.) hee hee:) slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [28]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my resume--) [29]http://dreamscape.org/steven-fountain.txt (-- ;) reason.txt - literally and in more ways then OnE - try lookin in your pocket. Posted by [30]slf on Wed Jul 27 2005 05:37 ([31]got somethin to say?) ([32]Link) without the consequences and without the prices. literally and in more ways than OnE, and in every possible way. 42 :) clever, creative, godly, and simple. ;) rinse and repeat. ;) next? kindof like rubbin two clues together. ;) its every single bird i know with OnE stOnE ;) army of OnE ;) there more than OnE way to do it ;) its like givin you a dollar ;) it was literally in front of me the entire time ;) and it literally is what happened first ;) its so good the comments practicly write themselves ;) all people could make the same massonic calibur judgements if they had the same information ;) i 1up'd myself like a mushroom ;) a green OnE ;) it just takes OnE ;) wink at OnE person drivin past today ;) richard bach - OnE 1+1 = 2 that is literally too good ;) theres OnE in your pocket OnE liners forever at level OnE ;) ar1stocrat1c warr1or ;) code poet and suddenly numerology has its place OnE hundred and eleven feet in the ground ;) al gore 1nvented the 1nternet - as much as you or i did ;) 1 connected the dots ;) 1'd like to solve the puzzle please ;) this is just the beginning~!!@#!@#!@#!@#!@# :) it literally was under our noses and flaunted in our face EVERYWHERE the entire fuckin time. you even recited this shit in school. holy fuckin fuckin crap!!! 1 got connectionz!@#!@# and it only takes 1 whos with me in liberating the fuckin oxford dictionary in name of democracy? FUCK! hahahahahhahahhahhahahah i could sit here and keep writin this shit, but this is too good :) this pretty much takes care everything everybody needs ever. i love ya'll :) slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [33]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my resume--) [34]http://dreamscape.org/steven-fountain.txt (-- ;) geometricly pleasing Posted by [35]slf on Tue Jul 26 2005 18:26 ([36]got somethin to say?) ([37]Link) the phrase "geometricly pleasing" is also pretty relevant. i kindof giggle. :) --ryan from the treasure island possie, i dunno what happened to him. i actually think he ended up goin to school and workin somewhere. i'm so proud of those folk. I really gotta buy one of these when they come out. Posted by [38]slf on Tue Jul 26 2005 18:13 ([39]got somethin to say?) ([40]Link) [41]http://dreamscape.org/directions-1280x1024.jpg :) credits to the organic keyboard people. They kick ass. Worth way more than I bet its gonna cost when it comes out. slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [42]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my resume--) [43]http://dreamscape.org/steven-fountain.txt (-- ;) literally, in more ways then one, and in every possible way + fill in the blank - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [44]slf on Mon Jul 25 2005 11:41 ([45]got somethin to say?) ([46]Link) The biggest access method (on the left), the smallest access method (on the right.) left: morals and dogma - there are many more books similar to this which you will never be able to get your hands on thanks to their keepers - see freemasonry and the vatican right: a new kind of science by stephen wolfram - see perl modules - they're good. it is not what is shown but the lack of what is shown, and when, which is the secret. Any simple algorithm repeated. The answers write the next decisions based on the previous state modifications. I feel like both of these books. Stem cells are based on the same principle. These two books are directly connected and directly related. The power of immortality stems (pardon the pun) from the simple truth that: math writes math just like assembly instructions on a cpu with threads and states and flags and special conditions. it directly connects life as we know it to spirituality as we know it. Literally, in more ways than one, and in every possible way, and in the way that you or I or someone down the road probably least expect it. Connect the dots, so to speak. Only focus on the space inbetween (pardon the pun) -- it is only up, or out (pardon the pun) Logic, metaphor, meaning, music, life forms be them plant or animal, waves be them water sound or other, the turtle that used to be in LOGO or what you can now find in kturtle are basically all based on the same principles. Most importantly: master stem cells and their master line derivetives repair a system as it had been originally created. a copy of a copy of a copy can be re-initialized or swapped out or mangled or filtered. Only the combination of the two is basically is the gift of creating, manipulating, healing, and destroying life. Basically the fundamental connection between witchcraft and alternative science. Neural acceleration or decelleration directly augments the ability to reach 100% - 99% is not 100% - over time it becomes easier to reach 100% when one has identified an initial path. This can be destroyed once established by introducing uneliminatable doubt or speculation. Search this text for /100%/ ..slf instant war room - APPLICATION of the previous CODE RELEASE Posted by [47]slf on Thu Jul 14 2005 00:00 ([48]got somethin to say?) ([49]Link) [50]http://dreamscape.org/code/ilf-war.png [51]http://dreamscape.org/code/ilf-war1.png [52]http://dreamscape.org/code/ilf-war-eterm [53]http://dreamscape.org/code/ilf-war [54]http://dreamscape.org/code/ilf slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [55]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my resume--) [56]http://dreamscape.org/steven-fountain.txt (-- ;) CODE RELEASE - 7/11 - thx u come again! Posted by [57]slf on Mon Jul 11 2005 09:58 ([58]got somethin to say?) ([59]Link) gotta love it. Check it. [60]http://dreamscape.org/code/pf thx u come again! ;) i love writing code that belongs on every unix machine on the face of the planet. haha! it is my destiny! :) with free market economy, there are gems for everyone! You hear it first. slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [61]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my resume--) [62]http://dreamscape.org/steven-fountain.txt (-- ;) -------------------------------------------------------------------- ilf - input line frequency/time event visualization DSC Ops Research Group - http://dreamscape.org/ (slf@) organicly evolved from: http://dreamscape.org/code/tdpc -------------------------------------------------------------------- you will see two things: symbols that show timechanges (also indicating a line was seen), and secondly symbols that happen so quickly a timechange has not happened. you can customize the colors of each of these w/ -c -t -------------------------------------------------------------------- psuedo-math for 'blinky light over time' w/ducttape it all started because I pondered to myself . o O "I wonder how frequently I make my neighbors w/love:) wireless light blink.." ..then it evolved! -------------------------------------------------------------------- screenshots of its predecessor's output can be found at http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1120892317 this version is capable of much much more:) screenshots @ http://dreamscape.org/code/ilf-war.png >> instant war room << (using xterm's) http://dreamscape.org/code/ilf-war (using eterm's) http://dreamscape.org/code/ilf-war-eterm -------------------------------------------------------------------- General options: -b 'REGEX' pattern that allways triggers bold -i 'REGEX' pattern that allways triggers reverse -F 'REGEX' pattern that allways triggers blink -r 'REGEX' pattern that triggers reverse ON -R 'REGEX' pattern that triggers reverse OFF -k 'REGEX' pattern that triggers blinking ON -K 'REGEX' pattern that triggers blinking OFF -f 'STR' color choice for "he's on fire!" mode -L INT the limit that triggers "he's on fire!" mode (the default is 50 within .1s (1 ms)) -l enable internal logging to ilf.log (ilf | tee -a ilf.log.color is cooler) -m INT number of lines to represent on each line in our visualization (the default is 50) -c 'STR' color choice for really fast lines -t 'STR' color choice for time changes -h display this help -H drop this help text to ilf.txt and less it -z FLOAT sleep this much time instead of default 1s "builtin" function: -N [-n[O]] [-d] : track output of lsof (network status) -S [-n[O]] [-d] : track output of lsof (system status) -W [-n[0]] [-d] : track output of who (login activity) -s [-n[O]] [-d] : track output of ps auxfw (process activity) -D 'command line' [-n[o]] [-d] : track "command" output Usage: ilf 'command line' ilf -- command [args ...] ilf -d command [args ...] (is equivilant to -- but with debug) ilf builtin {-D|-N|-S|-W|-s} [options ...] ilf builtin -D 'tail -1000 /var/log/*.log' -n ilf -w ilf -H in a panel on the wall - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [63]slf on Fri Jul 08 2005 23:58 ([64]got somethin to say?) ([65]Link) the inspiration and spirit of [66]ilf is illustrated as follows. note the difference between this drawing containing a large block of "packets" (actually input lines in this case) happening so fast that you can see a chunk of time where it was really moving data: and this image which is more pitter patter, chilling on a lily pad, fluttering its wings at a certain pace: this is shallow water at the top, compared to deep water, represented towards the bottom - yet another analogy :) this is more of a fishing pole over time display: this is as i approached the maximum transmit ceiling of my asynchronous connection (adsl in my case): this is the difference between alot of data at one time (left) vs. alittle data over a long time (right) these were included just because i was actually originally just trying to make art. but eh, why not make a program outta this idea that anyone can use on any program? ..slf flatpanel touchscreen + dark bathroom den office with mirrors = arcade art 4x ? - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [67]slf on Fri Jul 08 2005 23:43 ([68]got somethin to say?) ([69]Link) cool. ..slf my wallet - I was really happy back then - ..."it's a duck!" - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [70]slf on Thu Jun 30 2005 00:45 ([71]got somethin to say?) ([72]Link) ..slf:( An update Posted by [73]slf on Sun Jun 26 2005 18:06 ([74]got somethin to say?) ([75]Link) I cleaned my house and organized my belongings. I cleared out my son's room. You can move in at anytime son, I'm sorry. I got a roommate. This is a big deal for me so I'm changing alot around. I built a couple computers with all the spare parts that seemed to accumulate once everything was organized. I got a crappy box that doesnt put out any heat to be the fileserver. The laptop I have that has no keyboard is the accesspoint. I even put a 250mW card and a shitty little one-wire-that-plugs-into-thin-air antenna. The location of my house makes this a terribly effective coverage area. I like it. Some things will never change. slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [76]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my resume--) [77]http://dreamscape.org/steven-fountain.txt (-- ;) I have survived. Posted by [78]slf on Mon Jun 20 2005 16:58 ([79]got somethin to say?) ([80]Link) I survived. the closest I will ever come to my yoda mastercard. - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [81]slf on Fri Jun 17 2005 12:27 ([82]got somethin to say?) ([83]Link) the force is not strong enough for yoda's credit line. hehe. ..slf Hack your init for fun and profit - change serial one at a time step by step bootup into everything at once blitzkrieg background sensation paralell executed multiply ran with multiple threads Posted by [84]slf on Mon Jun 06 2005 19:56 ([85]got somethin to say?) ([86]Link) I reboot my computer so many times that I sortof had a rebooting breakthrough. I edited /etc/init.d/rc and added a ton off sysctl lines to be executed/reset prior to every process being executed, and instead of executing it like so: servicestart blah blah I end up doing it a little differently. It still works the same way, But, its kindof like it almost lies about it and just gets ir done. So, I modified it to be: ( servicestart blah blah )& making it a background process. I mean seriously, its a process server starting blitzkrieg, and in just a few seconds damn near everything happens to bring the system up, not one at a time serially. Its something like potentially a dozen minute timesaver for the bootup. Why hasn't anyone made a package to do this? I mean this is what hyperthreading is good at! Its kew. slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [87]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [88]http://dreamscape.org/steven-fountain.txt (-- ;) change imminent Posted by [89]slf on Mon Jun 06 2005 01:19 ([90]got somethin to say?) ([91]Link) Everything's about to change. slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [92]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [93]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) : resume --) [94]http://dreamscape.org/steven-fountain.txt (-- 5x usb raid random crap drives - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [95]slf on Sun Jun 05 2005 05:22 ([96]got somethin to say?) ([97]Link) 3x usb controllers, 5x driveshells. ..slf they're external now. - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [98]slf on Fri Jun 03 2005 20:21 ([99]got somethin to say?) ([100]Link) Heh. ..slf ninjas killed my family - need money for kung fu lessons - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [101]slf on Thu Jun 02 2005 19:04 ([102]got somethin to say?) ([103]Link) :) How to install what I think should be every default installation's apache errordocument 's Posted by [104]slf on Thu Jun 02 2005 05:27 ([105]got somethin to say?) ([106]Link) from [107]http://evildomain.org/ wget -r [108]http://dreamscape.org/stipid/ add this to your httpd.conf: # stupid programmers ErrorDocument 500 /stipid.html # hey stupid it doesnt exist ErrorDocument 404 /stipid.html # hey stupid it doesnt exist (im lying) ErrorDocument 403 /stipid.html linux r00lz! slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [109]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [110]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) this should be the default linux 404 page! Posted by [111]slf on Thu Jun 02 2005 04:22 ([112]got somethin to say?) ([113]Link) [114]http://evildomain.org/user/birdy/stipid.html our data center is being infiltrated by cockroaches? Haha? Posted by [115]slf on Sun May 29 2005 23:31 ([116]got somethin to say?) ([117]Link) This building is being infiltrated by covert operative cockroaches. Its disgusting. I saw one in the stairs in the lobby. They climb right under the security door. Shudder. This building is supposed to be state of the art top notch engineering and equipment and there's cockroaches. What the fuck? How the fuck does the most remote desolate datacenter in the middle of nowhere have enough cockroaches to be nyc? This is california damnit. note to self: bring raid to office. No. Not RAID. I said raid. But it's fucking up my chi 24x7! Posted by [118]slf on Sun May 29 2005 09:39 ([119]got somethin to say?) ([120]Link) (slf) if a lady gets tens or hundreds of millions of dollars for spilling a coffee cup on her own dumb ass, what's it worth when something really wrong really evil really personally anguishing shit happens when a father who's suffered parental kidnapping for 7 months files a motion for contempt and parental kidnapping criminal charges along with new domestic violence charges? (slf) i mean seriously, how soap opera court fuckup is that, really? (slf) can someone really put a price on the experience a father should have with his son? (slf) can someone put a price on how bad it would feel knowing that the very person who abducted ones son was the very person who was allowing that very son to suffer irrepreable emotional harm by calling a new dude daddy (slf) and telling me shes getting married on *our* birthday (slf) 3/19/1981 (slf) what the hell kind of mindjob is a mindjob (slf) because what i got doesnt have an appropriate biblical word for it (slf) for christ sake (slf) criminal charges allways pave a way for civil charges, right? (slf) so what's the difference between a first born son and a cup of spilt hot coffee? (slf) how do i get the hand of justice to get its lazy ass up and do something when theres overwhelming everything for it (slf) if its this fucked up for me to have to deal with this because of her what the hell's my son going to think having two parents born at the change of an age on the vernal equinox where there's this "wierd unexplainable story" about how they just supposedly broke up (slf) can ANYONE here suggest a course of legal action or put me in contact with someone who would help my case for the purpose of setting a good omen and not leaving this creepy evil sign at work (slf) sigh (slf) not like this (slf) not for either of us (slf) its fucking up my chi (slf) like 24x7 slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [121]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [122]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) please for the love of god someone arrest her Posted by [123]slf on Sun May 29 2005 08:36 ([124]got somethin to say?) ([125]Link) my built in goodwill hunting legal team are at it again - i'd like her arrested please. violations of 278 and 278.5 have been going on for a really long time. as you should notice the definition of "what's reasonable" and what's "unreasonable" are pretty clearly defined. and let's not forget that what's "criminal" is most definitely defined! [126]http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/waisgate?WAISdocID=38047222219+1+0+0&WAISaction=retrieve ignorance of the law is no excuse at no time has my son or her been in any danger whatsoever there's really something here. read more. [127]Read More... It's impossible to move on after all that, What you see before you is the greatest pain a love has ever known. Posted by [128]slf on Sun May 29 2005 07:25 ([129]got somethin to say?) ([130]Link) 3/19 3/19/81, anytime anywhere -- It's impossible to move on. But I wont call you anyway, just as you requsted. If the truth is this difficult for me, how will my son react? She's killing me, and you're resigning to just talking about it. There is a big difference between what is, and what could might should be. This is really happening to me! This is really happening to my son! This is really going to ALLWAYS be happening. It's completely impossible to move on from the one girl born on the same day of the same year at the same time as you, on the vernal equinox, on the transition of the age of picses to the age of aquarius, who's hot as hell, exactly completely perfect for you in all her shortcomings, who you met through total bizare wierd fate who you technically grew up with who steals you away from the only positive relationship you had to create a child with you, ruin all your friendships, who gets you fired from two jobs, who has you falsely arrested, who raises a beautiful baby boy with you who we both created out of love and then one day just takes him away and says shes moving to new mexico only to stay in the bay area and who tells you that she's getting MARRIED to the new guy who you son thinks is REALLY YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE on your *OWN BIRTHDAY* and then goes ahead and starts hiding his very name, his very whereabouts, his entire existance just as if you had never been born, just as if you had never exist, just as if you had never deserved to have ever graced her with your presence - enough so that she just pulls the most cruelest meanest thing anyone could have ever done to a person in the history of love, romance, courtship, anything. you name it. Times are a changin. This is ULTIMATE SUFFERING and for *what*? Just sticks and stones? Is my entire existance worth what you're waking up to every day? Is what I go to sleep at night feeling worth what you wake up knowing? How could I deserve this? How could anyone? What the hell would YOU do if you were in my shoes with this kind of once in a world lifetime? Isin't it *obvious* how hard this is going to be for my son? His /whole life!/ He thinks that guy is me! He's going to grow up wanting to know why that man isin't born on the same day as mommy, and why his real father and his real mother have the same birthday, and he's going to grow up completely crazy, crazier than I could ever imagine, all because she took him away and went off to get with this other guy. All because her family wanted to throw obstacles in the way, all because her friends wanted to throw obstacles in the way. Forever was supposed to mean forever! Friend was supposed to just be a friend! Family allways is supposed to come first, and when you agree to have a child with someone that is your family, your mother and your father are no longer the most important family that you have to represent, it's your own flesh and blood, the person who you created life with, the person you've stood behind, fought for, fought with, fought by, its everyrthing good and bad, and no one should ever take that from you. Sometimes when people have something that no one else has everyone wants to steal it from you. And I was born on 3/19/1981 - a very special day, a very special relationship, and everyone tried to ruin it. everyone tried to end it. but it's my child that's going to suffer. And it's me that's suffering. And I'm growing weak from all these sleepless nights, I'm growing scared by all these new futures, I'm on pause because of all of these endings that I was owed, all these chapters I was supposed to be apart of, and now he's growing older, the time's coming when he will begin rationalizing, and there is no logic and no reason and no explanation that will make it all better. There will never be that explanation. And I love him so much, and I love her so much, and I hurt beccause I know how much he will hurt and it hurts me that I couldn't stop it from happening :( Please someone, anyone, enter the launch codes and make a difference please someone abort the self desturct sequence that my son and I have to die for. We did nothing to deserve this type of pain to our relationship, we did nothing to have this horrible nightmare as what we come from, what we originated out of. she is a criminal and someone needs to do something about it, it's completely out of my hands im praying to god for a second opinion on this one, seriously. please dont let us die in vain please dont do this to my father please dont do this to my mother please dont do this to my brother please dont do this to my grandparents please dont do this to our son please do not let this happen to my son i beg of you -- a very distressed father of a very special son deserving god's protections and interventions slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [131]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [132]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) lord vader, we've been expecting you.. Posted by [133]slf on Sat May 28 2005 20:18 ([134]got somethin to say?) ([135]Link) nice to meet you. any chance you've seen [136]http://dreamscape.org/monarch.jpg ? please add it to yo' collection. i am a very spiritually evolved indidual, however i am currently ascending :( no one is there to hold on to me either direction a dream hacker hacked into a nightmare not of his own creation -slf here's a quarter - i wont be needing it Posted by [137]slf on Fri May 27 2005 14:44 ([138]got somethin to say?) ([139]Link) all it would have taken would have been one person to rescue me one person to get my back one person to stand by me one person to stand with me but no friendlies could be found no one was there to save me now the shells have been fired and the pieces have been scattered i know when i'm not wanted i know when i'm not respected i know when i'm not honored i know when i'm not loved look me up sometime, plot a seat, stay awhile i am dead to you i am dead to him i am replaced to him i step aside you wont have to step into my shoes and just like that, he was gone. you'll never understand, you'll probably never even know i existed its as if you never were born in the first place its as if you both didn't make it i couldn't even begin to explain how thourough her mental rape was i just couldn't look in your room anymore i couldn't find you i can't live with this i can't live like this i can't live after this she took him from me and i took me from everyone dont call me dont write me dont talk to me just let the end game happen and go back about your lives i was just a figment of your imagination. that's all i was allowed to be after loving her and loving him nothing could ever compare -- nothing will take away the permanant damage she caused me -- that she caused the little boy who used to be my son love your new daddy, i hope he's there for you how i'll never be he's just a copy with makeup i'm nobody leave me flowers pour beer on me my life was forefeit the day you were born my soul was forefeit the day you didn't come home i'm sorry. i know it's too late. you wont have to put up with me ever again. i give up Posted by [140]slf on Fri May 27 2005 14:17 ([141]got somethin to say?) ([142]Link) i cant bear it anymore i cant take it anymore i remove the both of ya from my itinerary your mental gang rape ends here in the end you will hurt more than i will the sorrow is killing me sometimes a person just has to know when to cut their losses i was a good father, and i loved him and did right for him by her. she made me out to be a deadbeat, chased me away chased me out sent me running so fast its over its too late its all her fault i couldnt live with myself, im sorry gotta love the sunsets here - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [143]slf on Thu May 26 2005 21:30 ([144]got somethin to say?) ([145]Link) ..slf Keyword Namespaces - Truth Hurts, Lies Leave Scars, Truths a Bitch, But if the Boot Fits, I got three things to say for every one I have to stomach for you. Giggle. Posted by [146]slf on Thu May 26 2005 07:38 ([147]got somethin to say?) ([148]Link) What kinds of advantages would a poet have over keyword namespace? What kinds of advantages would a politican have over keyword namespaces? What kinds of advantages would a theorist have over keyword namespaces? What kinds of advantages would a philosopher have over keyword namespaces? What kinds of advantages would a composer have over keyword namespaces? What kinds of advantages would a musician have over keyword namespaces? What kinds of advantages would a conductor have over keyword namespaces? What kinds of advantages would a PARENT have over keyword namespaces? What kinds of advantages would a CHILD have over keyword namespaces? GIGGLE.... What kinds of advantages would ALL OF THE ABOVE UNDER THE SAME ROOF have over keyword namespaces? slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [149]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [150]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) IMAGINATION - Moving right along... I Plan to create my own sentient abstract awareness program. Posted by [151]slf on Thu May 26 2005 07:33 ([152]got somethin to say?) ([153]Link) I think I am going to write a little hack to allow me keyword scratchpadding for google searches. I want HUGE searches on google. VERY clever methodologies of trying all possible combinations. Certainties. Potentials. Probables. Every odd loose or assorted fact all in one place. Click click click, make a query. The real trick here is that I plan to create my own sentient google awareness because I require one. Google? No problem. Craigslist? No problem. Ebay? No problem. Tribe.net? No problem. Livejournal? No problem. Friendster? No problem. Myspace? No problem. Xanga? No problem. Hi5? No problem. This is hardly a complete list. I plan to make it as generic as possible, and I plan to make it do all the dirty work for me! Your damn right It'll be checking that list and checking it twice! Hell, it'll be doing things I wont even EXPLAIN to you. HAH! Your actions are yours alone. Giggle. Oh, I'll find you all right. Go ahead, change your name. Go ahead, lie about where you live, go ahead, try and hide. You'll be doing it your whole life. You can hide from the truth for only so long. Believe me, I'll find you. If I were you, I would have just told me. Because now I'm a couple steps ahead of you. You might as well officially consider yourself grounded to using cellphones microwaves and VCRs, because if you walk into my neighborhood people talk and the walls happen to have my eyes and ears 2.0 installed all over the fucking place. *Giggle* You really have no idea what I know or do not know, do you? Where'd I work again? bwhahaa..... slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [154]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [155]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) Excellent! 4 pairs of rescued endangered oldschool jnco's on my doorstep this morning! Gotta love it. - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [156]slf on Thu May 26 2005 06:49 ([157]got somethin to say?) ([158]Link) I am in jnco heaven. ..slf You write what you're told! Thanks Corporate News! - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [159]slf on Mon May 23 2005 19:22 ([160]got somethin to say?) ([161]Link) Writing Experiments - Good good! Posted by [162]slf on Mon May 23 2005 18:27 ([163]got somethin to say?) ([164]Link) All kinds of fun. slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [165]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [166]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) [167]http://epc.buffalo.edu/authors/bernstein/experiments.html +---------------------------------------------------------+ Experiments 1. Homolinguistic translation: Take a poem (someone else's, then your own) and translate it "English to English" by substituting word for word, phrase for phrase, line for line, or "free" translation as response to each phrase or sentence. Or translate the poem into another literary style or a different diction, for example into a slang or vernacular. Do several differnt types of homolinguistic transation of a single source poem. (Cf.Six Fillious by bp nichol, Steve McCaffery, Robert Fillious, George Brecht, Dick Higgins, Dieter Roth, which also included translation of the poem to French and German.) Chaining: try this with a group, sending the poem on for "translation" from person to another until you get back to the first author (see David Nemeth's examples). 2. Homophonic translation: Take a poem in a foreign language that you can pronounce but not necessarily understand and translate the sound of the poem into English (e.g., French "blanc" to blank or "toute" to toot). Some examples: Louis and Celia Zukofsky's Catullus., David Melnick's Homer, now available via Eclipse: Men in Aida -- part one and part two; Ron Silliman on homophonic translation (his own, Melnick's, and Chris Tysh's), and two examples by Charles Bernstein -- from Basque and from Portuguese. -- Rewrite to suit? 3. Lexical translation: Take a poem in a foreign language that you can pronounce but not necessarily understand and translate it word for word with the help of a bilingual dictionary. (Rewrite to suit?) 1-3a. Try a variant of these three translation exercises using the "Lost in Translation" "Babel" engine, or other web-based translations engines, such as Babelfish and Free Translation.com. 4. Acrostic chance: Pick a book at random and use title as acrostic key phrase. For each letter of key phrase go to page number in book that corresponds (a=1, z=26) and copy as first line of poem from the first word that begins with that letter to end of line or sentence. Continue through all key letters, leaving stanza breaks to mark each new key word. (Cf.: Jackson Mac Low's Stanzas for Iris Lezak.) Variations include using author's name as code for reading through her or his work, using your own or friend's name, picking different kinds of books for this process, devising alternative acrostic procedures. Or use the web "Mac Low diastic" engine. 5. Tzara's hat: Everyone in a group writes down a word (alternative: phrase, line) and puts it in a hat. Poem is made according to the order in which it is randomly pulled from hat. (Solo: pick a series of words or lines from books, newspapers, magazines to put in the hat.) 6. Burroughs's fold'in: Take two different pages from a newspaper or magazine article, or a book, and cut the pages in half vertically. Paste the mismatched pages together. (Cf.: William Burroughs's The Third Mind.) Use the computer cut-up engine to perform a similar task automatically. 7. General cut'ups: Write a poem composed entirely of phrases lifted from other sources. Use one source for a poem and then many; try different types of sources: literary, historical, magazines, advertisements, manuals, dictionaries, instructions, travelogues, etc. 8. Cento: Write a collage made up of full'lines of selected source poems. 9. Serial sentences: Select one sentence each from a variety of different books or other sources. Add sentences of your own composition. Combine into one paragraph, reordering to produce the most interesting results. 10. Substitution (1): "Mad libs." Take a poem (or other source text) and put blanks in place of three or four words in each line, noting the part of speech under each blank. Fill in the blanks being sure not to recall the original context. 11. Substitution (2): "7 up or down." Take a poem or other, possibly well'known, text and substitute another word for every noun, adjective, adverb, and verb; determine the substitute word by looking up the index word in the dictionary and going 7 up or down, or one more, until you get a syntactically suitable replacement. (Cf.: Lee Ann Brown's "Pledge" or Clark Coolidge and Larry Fagin, On the Pumice of Morons.) 12. Substitution (3): Find and replace. Systematically replace one word in a source text with another word or string of words. Perform this operation serially with the same source text, increasing the number of words in the replace string. 13. Alphabet poems: make up a poem of 26 words so that each word begins with the next letter of the alphabet. Write another alphabet poem but scramble the letter order. 14. Alliteration (assonance): Write a poem in which all the words in each line begin with the same letter. 15. Recombination (1): Write a poem and cut it somewhere in the middle, then recombine with the beginning part following the ending part. 16. Recomination (2) -- Doubling: Starting with one sentence, write a series of paragraphs each doubling the number of sentences in the previous paragraph and including all the words used previously. (Cf. Ron Silliman's Ketjak) 17. Collaboration: Write poems with one or more other people, alternating words, lines, or stanzas (chaining or renga), writing simultaneously and collaging, rewriting, editing, supplementing the previous version. This can be done in person, via e'mail, or via regular mail. 18. Group sonnet: 14 people each write one ten-word line (or alternate measure) on an index card. Order to suit. 19. Write a poem in which you try to transcribe as accurately as you can your thoughts while you are writing. Don't edit anything out. Write as fast as you can without planning what you are going to say. 20. Autopilot: Trying as hard as you can not to think or consider what you are writing, write as much as you can as fast you can without any editing or concern for syntax, grammar, narrative, or logic. Try to keep this going for as long as possible: one hour, two hours, three hours: don't look back don't look up. 21. Dream work: Write down your dreams as the first thing you do every morning for 30 days. Apply translation and aleatoric processes to this material. Double the length of each dream. Weave them together into one poem, adding or changing or reordering material. Negate or reverse all statements ("I went down the hill to "I went up the hill," "I didn't" to "I did"). Borrow a friend's dreams and apply these techniques to them. 22. Write a poem made up entirely of neologisms or nonsense words or fragments of words. (Cf.: Lewis Carroll's "Jabberwocky" and also "Jabberwocky Variations" page.) Khlebnikov's zaum, Schwitters "Ur Sonata" (at UBU "historical"). P. Inman's, Ocker, Platin and Uneven Devlelpment and David Melnick's Pcoet. (via Eclipse). Use Neil Hennessy's JABBER: The Jabberwocky Engine to generate lexicon. Also see The Internalational Dictionary of Neologisms. 23. Write a poem with each line filling in the blanks of "I used to be _____ but now I am ______." ("I used to write poems, but now I just do experiments"; "I used to make sense, but now I just make poems.") 24. Write a poem consisting entirely of things you'd like to say, but never would, to a parent, lover, sibling, child, teacher, roommate, best friend, mayor, president, corporate CEO, etc. 25. Take same sentence or stanza and cast it as if said to oneself silently, half-whispered, said to an intimate, said to a small group, said to a large group. 26. Write a poem consisting entirely of overheard conversation. 27. Nonliterary forms: Write a poem in the form of an index, a table of contents, a resume, an advertisement for an imaginary or real product, an instruction manual, a travel guide, a quiz or examination, etc. 28. Imitation: Write a poem in the style of each of a dozen poets who you like and dislike. Try to make it as close to a forgery of an "unknown" poem of the author as possible. 29. Write a poem without mentioning any objects. 30. Backwards: Reverse or alter the line sequence of a poem of your own or someone else's. Next, reverse the word order. Rather than reverse, scramble. 31. Write an autobiographical poem without using any pronouns. 32. Attention: Write down everything you hear for one hour. 33. Brainard's Memory: Write a poem all of whose lines start "I remember ..." (Cf.: Joe Brainard's I Remember.) 34. "Pits": Write the worst possible poem you can imagine. 35. Counting: Write poems that conform to various numeric patterns for number of words in a line or sentence, number of lines in a stanza or paragraph, number of stanzas or paragraphs in a work. Alternately, count letters or syllables. Use complex numeric series or simpler fixed-number patterns. 36. Write a poem just when you are on the verge of falling asleep. Write a line a day as you are falling asleep or waking up. 37. [Removed for further study] 38. List poem 1: Write a poem consisting of favorite words or phrases collected over a period of time; pick your favorite words from a particular book. 39. List poem 2: write a poem consisting entirely of a list of "things", either homogenous or heterogeneous (common lists include shopping lists, things to do, lists of flowers or rocks, lists of colors, inventory lists, lists of events, lists of names, ...). 40. Chronology: Make up a list of dates with associated events, real or imagined. 41. Transcription: Tape a phone or live conversation between yourself and a friend. Make a poem composed entirely of transcribed parts. 42. Canceling: Write a series of lines or rhymes such that every other one cancels the one before ("I come before you / to stand behind you"). 43. Erasure: Take a poem of your own or someone else's and crossout most of the words on each poem, retype what remains as your poem. (Cf.: Ronald Johnson's RADI OS from Milton and Jen Berven's Nets.) 44. Write a series of ten poems going from one to ten words in each poem. Reorder. 45. Write a poem composed entirely of questions. 46. Write a poem made up entirely of directions. 47. Write a poem consisting only of opening lines (improvise your own lines, then use source texts). 48. Write a poem consisting only of prepositions, then of prepositions and one other part of speech. 49. Write a series of eight'word lines consisting of one each of each part of speech. 50. Write a poem consisting of one'word lines; write a poem consisting of two'word lines; write a poem consisting of three'word lines. 51. Pick 20 words, either a word list you generate yourself or from source texts. Write three different poems using only these words. 52. Synchronicity: Write a poem in which all the events occur simultaneously. 53. Diachronicity: Write a poem in which all the events occur in different places and at different times. 54. Visual poetry: write poems with strong visual or "concrete" elements - including a combination of lexical and nonlexical (pictorial) elements. Play with alphabets and typography, placement of words on the page, etc. (See UBUWEB for many examples,) 55. Write a series of stanzas or poems while listening to music; change type of music for each stanza or poem. 56. Elimination: Cut out the second half of sentences. 57. Excuses list: Write a poem made up entirely of excuses. 58. Sprung Diary: Write a diary tracking and intercutting multiple levels of thoughts, experiences, anticipations, expectations, from minute to major. (Cf.. Hannah Weiner's Clairvoyant Journal.) 59. "Walking on Colors": Walk a city block or a country mile paying attention as much as possible to one color; list all the things found in this one color; write about it. 60. Negation/Opposites: Negate every phrase or sentence in the poem or in some way substitute opposite words for selected words in the source text: "I went to the beach" becomes "I went to the office"; "I got up" becomes "She sat down"; "I will" become "I will not", etc. As an alternative, take a poem and change what it says line for line or phrase for phrase; not opposite, just different. 61. Google Poem: construct a poem using Leevi Lehto's engine (use the patterns feature). See also Bill Luomo's Lizardo engine. Alternate Google poem, based on K. Silem Mohammad's Deer Head Nation : use Google search results as the source material for a poem: erase as much as you like, but don't add anything. Many variations possible. Use the Googlism engine to create a poem based on a name or word. 61a. FLARF: A recent extension of this approach, which is developing independent, is called "flarf." Michael Magee explains, in this Experiments List exclusive report, "The Flarf Files." 62. Use the "Eater of Meaning" engine to create a poem. 63. Dialectize: use the dialect engine to translate a text into one of several "dialects," then use the results to make a poem.(/) 64. Multilingual poem: write a poem using several languages that are integrated into the single poem. 65. Pick several images from the internet or a magazine and write an accompanying poem . 66. Graphic design 101.1: Take a poem, first another's then your own, and set it ten differnet ways, using different fonts and different page sizes. Make a web version of the poem. 67. Take a poem, first another's then your own, and rerrange the line breaks or visual compostion, while keeping the same word order. Do this five times, some with freely composed arrangements and some using some form of counting. 68. From Stacy Doris: I. Write a poem (or take a poem you have already written on the topic) about sex. Then rewrite it, substituting words having to do with warfare for the words having to do with sex. II. Write a poem (or take a poem you have already written on the topic) about love. Then rewrite it, substituting words having to do with government for the words of amorousness. III. Write a poem (or take a poem you have already written on the topic) about god and religion. Then rewrite it, substituting words having to do with a political figure whose policy you oppose for the words referring to faith and god. 69. Christian Bo:k's lipogram Eunoia consists of a five sections each with words containing the same vowell (as in "O": Yoko Ono). This is reminiscent of certain notorious Ouilipian constrains, such as Perec's nover La Disparition , which suppresses the letter "e". Write a poem in the manner of Eunoia.. 70. The Annagramatic Imaginary: find ways to use anagrams in a poem, do an anagrammatical translation of a poem, connect workds or ideas in a poem via anagrams. Use the Internet Anagram Server. 71. Proliferating styles. In 1947, Raymond Queneau, a founding member of OuLoPo (Ouvroir de Litterature Potentielle, or "Workshop of Potential Literature") published Excercises de Style, 99 variations on the "same" story. Each of this 99 approaches could take a place of honor in this list but best to turn to that work for the enumeration and expltion. For present purposes (if purposes doesn't strike an overly teleological chord), suffice it to say that an intial incident, mood, core proposition, description, idea, or indeed, story, might be run through the present list of experiments, though to what end only the Shadow knows, and maybe not even the Shadow. 72. Use any of these experiments that involve as source text as a way of reading through already existing poems; that is, as interactive tools for "creative reading." As an extention, study poems via the modes of "Deformative Criticism" (the term is from Jerome McGann and Lisa Samuel). For example, take a poem and erase all but one part of speech, leaving the visual layout intact, or read it backward or otherwise re-order it, or translate it (using any of the translation excercises listed here), Alternately, use these experiments as a way to rewrite or transform your own poems. 72. Make up more experiments. Remember: Poems can be in prose format! Rewrite and recombine, collage, splice together the material generated from these experiments into one long ongoing poem! Compiled by Charles Bernstein from Bernadette Mayer & workshop's Experiments list, and various other sources. (C) 1996 & 2001, 2002, 2003 by Poets' Ludicrously Aimless Yearning (PLAY). Dispense only as appropriate and under the supervision of an attending reader. Individual experiments are not liable for injury or failure resulting from improper use of appliance. Any profits accrued as a direct or indirect result of the use of these formulas shall be redistributed to the language at large. Management assumes no responsibility for damages that may result consequent to the use of this material in educational institutions or individual writing project. This list was inspired by Bernadette Mayer's compilation from the 1970s. For more Experiments, and Journal ideas, go to: Bernadette Mayer. cult recognizes cult - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [168]slf on Sat May 21 2005 21:15 ([169]got somethin to say?) ([170]Link) Someone tried to make me watch a prepaid legal video againsy my will. Haha. Cult. ..slf diet cherry vanilla dr pepper. Haha. - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [171]slf on Sat May 21 2005 20:26 ([172]got somethin to say?) ([173]Link) ..slf If you have it, they will find you... Posted by [174]slf on Sat May 21 2005 16:16 ([175]got somethin to say?) ([176]Link) I have been doing a crapton of offline writing lately. So excellent news, I get to MAKE UP jury duty on monday at 830am. YAY haha. I was too dumb to figure out where the hell to go every day reading the status page. Haha. It was like a riddle. So now I must humbly pay respects. slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [177]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [178]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) they haven't called me and its thursday im not sure what to do Posted by [179]slf on Thu May 19 2005 00:50 ([180]got somethin to say?) ([181]Link) I hope I don't go to jail or anything because of starwars. ..slf Thanks George Posted by [182]slf on Thu May 19 2005 00:46 ([183]got somethin to say?) ([184]Link) You know, today's my kind of day. I had a really shitty morning, but you know, this movie takes care of that. slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [185]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [186]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) hahaha...... Posted by [187]slf on Thu May 19 2005 00:32 ([188]got somethin to say?) ([189]Link) I think I have developed some kind of relationship with my neighbors by playing wack ass mp3's at wack ass hours for wack ass reasons haha slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [190]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [191]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) I FIND YOUR LACK OF FAITH DISTURBING... Posted by [192]slf on Thu May 19 2005 00:25 ([193]got somethin to say?) ([194]Link) I'm going to stay up and see REVENGE OF THE SITH in the southbay at 315. Its worth it. The culture and attitude here during such movies are one of a kind. The dark side is cool now. Muahaha. slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [195]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [196]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) simple eloquence of his example - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [197]slf on Mon May 16 2005 13:27 ([198]got somethin to say?) ([199]Link) "I watched a small man with thick calluses on both hands work fifteen and sixteen hours a day. I saw him once literally bleed from the bottom of his feet, a man who came here uneducated, alone, unable to speak the language, who taught me all I needed to know about faith and hard work by the simple eloquence of his example." -mario cuomo ..slf The subjective thesaurus - dream dictionary put to darker use - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [200]slf on Mon May 16 2005 09:39 ([201]got somethin to say?) ([202]Link) I think im going to get kicks using a dreamers dictionary as a subjective thesaurus of suggestive imagery. That plus the dream book plus some profound truth with a poetry scenery and screenplay through an akisaurus. If you can't see me, who am I anyway? Posted by [203]slf on Mon May 16 2005 00:07 ([204]got somethin to say?) ([205]Link) /cloaking technology/ What if someone had a hat with a IR rapid strobe on it? Wouldn't that be a cloak of invisibility to every CCD sensor on the planet? hidden on/off switch? IR detecting(nightvision) countermeasures? wow!! Who knew? Copyright slf 5-16-2005 - please keep me in the loop as this idea stands to revolutionize sensor technology at the same time as turning the tables having an advantage? a special necklace? A special shirt? where u wouldn't be hurt by the IR in any way? ..slf Love's Drug, the Fortune Posted by [206]slf on Sun May 15 2005 16:32 ([207]got somethin to say?) ([208]Link) So true. root@1200:~) dns Love's Drug My love is like an iron wand That conks me on the head, My love is like the valium That I take before my bed, My love is like the pint of scotch That I drink when I be dry; And I shall love thee still, my dear, Until my wife is wise. ) slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [209]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [210]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) I want to see my son. Posted by [211]slf on Sat May 14 2005 05:00 ([212]got somethin to say?) ([213]Link) Please pray for me. Please pray for all of the people like me that are out there. 'An estimated 24.7 million children (36.3% live absent their biological father.)' 'Children who live absent their biological fathers, on average, are more likely to be poor, experience educational, health, emotional, and psychological problems, be victims of child abuse, and engage in criminal behavior than their peers who live with their married, biological mother and father.' "Fathers: Who needs them?" [214]http://www.catholic.net/rcc/Periodicals/Homiletic/2000-12/fathers.html ''God has placed great emphasis on the important role of fathers. Scripture teaches that a father has many roles. Among them: he is the head of the family (Joshua 24:1); he is to be the familys teacher and is responsible for seeing that family life is in accordance with Gods instructions (Deut. 6:7, 20ff); he is to be a respected authority in the family (Exod. 20:12), the familys priest (Exod. 12:3), and the familys provider and protector (1 Tim. 5:8).25 Fathers: Who needs them? We all need fathers. Our Father in heaven and our fathers here on earthas well as a society that values them, includes them, and encourages their involvement in their families.26'' Matriarchy Marked by Tribalism and Violence [215]http://www.fathermag.com/news/2757-matriarchy-feminism-violence.shtml "Feminism reigns when men don't claim their children. Patriarchy can be said to exist in a culture if it recognizes the male's right to exercise ultimate control over his progeny; matriarchy exists where women have ultimate control of the progeny. Defined this way, patriarchy has been called the basis of civilization, as matriarchy exists only in primitive tribal societies. (Eleanor Leacock's claims to have discovered successful matriarchies have been discredited by Robert Scheaffer Deceptions of a Gender Equal Society), yet she is still quoted as an authority in many "Women's Studies" texts.) Matriarchies have recently had more scrutiny, the latest in sixteen South American tribal societies that practice what The Economist calls "experiments in advanced feminism."[1] Stephen Beckman of Pennsylvania State University works with the Bari in Venezuela. He studied the "advantages" to women and children of having several fathers. Not surprisingly, the more of these "fathers" the children had to protect and care for them, the better chance of survival they enjoyed. And protection is needed. Without patriarchal family structures, these cultures are so violent that large numbers of children are killed before they ever reach adulthood. Kristen Hawkes of the University of Utah reports on the Ache of Paraguay, where a woman has an average of ten marriages by the time she is thirty. ...the chief cause of death among Ache children is violence: almost three-quarters of the children dying before the age of 15 are killed by their fellows. So much for "advanced feminism." What does this say about increasingly feminist western cultures? Historically, they were patriarchal. Fathers normally retained custody of their children if a family broke up (which rarely occurs in patriarchies). In the US, legal changes granting mothers custody instead of the traditional father custody presumption evolved during the industrial revolution, when men were largely absent from family life. This change to a presumption of mother custody is by definition a change to matriarchy. But social change takes time, and during the industrial revolution women were still busy in the home. A hundred years ago, the average American family still had seven children. Thereafter family size declined rapidly, and this was later combined with an ever greater financial freedom for women. Under these conditions, the change to a matriarchal family structure lead to a sharp rise in the number of families broken by divorce. This trend towards family breakup was in turn followed by equally steep rises in rates of violence. Yet things have again changed in recent years. According to the US Census Bureau, over the past few years the number of children of divorced homes who remain with their father rather than with their mother has risen dramatically. During that period, there has been a commensurate fall in overall rates of youth violence. While a blanket presumption of father custody is yet to come, even the states which have implemented a presumption of joint custody rather than mother custody have seen a sharp fall in divorce rates. The National Longitudinal Survey of Youth has provided yet more data suggesting a strong link between increased father involvement and decreases in violence. Such a link would be consistent with a large body of data documenting elevated rates of violence among fatherless children. Many recent studes have indicated that the risk of teenage pregnancy and violent crime cannot predicted by race or income levels, but by the absence of a father in the home (see links below). The results in these various fields of research suggest one conclusion: Stable families, safe children, and healthy societies exist only where men maintain control over their progeny." slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [216]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [217]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) Gravity - Multithreaded And Obfuscational HTTP Accelerator Tool & Web Proxy Server Posted by [218]slf on Wed May 11 2005 19:05 ([219]got somethin to say?) ([220]Link) I made something unbelievably awesome. I'm calling it Gravity. It is a tool that you use, and Now I'm going to go make it a proxy service (Look ma, I created an industry!) I took one quick look at aget, mentioned at [221]http://www.enderunix.org/aget/ and I saw this really big epiphany. If it takes 300 processes to send the damn data out, why the hell not try and take 300 procecsses to get the damn data here? How many seats can I take up exactly, anyway? The only problem was that this command didn't seem to work on my machine. It got to 99% and went out to lunch. Then I found [222]http://www.vbip.com/winsock/winsock_http_08_01.asp which talks about Retrieving partial content and I started futzing around with netcat doing the requests. Then I calculatored out all these things I would need to know, like how many more of myself I was trying to be, and how many bytes each person should get, and what range all of those people would get (1-2 2-4 4-8 8-10) or whatever. And then I forked off all these threads to grab each piece, so I would in that one moment..... In that one moment, I would be fucking up concepts of network fairness, In that one moment I would be fucking up concepts of capacity, In that one moment I would be fucking up all concepts of system scheduler time even! I couldn't say no! Just how many people are you supposed to plan for when *I* like to think of myself as at least 40 people? And then I got to thinking even more! BONUS! What if I wanted to download [223]http://dreamscape.org/slf.jpg in a THOUSAND pieces? What if I wanted to download those pieces in DIFFERENT ORDERS? Wouldn't that be confusing? I can put them back together again anyway I want, and I can get them in anyway I want. Sure they'll know what I'm looking at, but it'll be their fucking problem if they want to download the image sequentially. I could almost browse things on the internet not only more efficiently, but in a way that would be a royal pain in the ass to me if I were tcpdump -w -'ing it or running driftnet. If you want to see the image, go to the fucking URL. Haha. I did! I mean hell, you HAVE the URL, dont you? Its not my problem I felt like obfuscatingly downloading it in a multithreaded fashion. So now I am going to go duct tape some more logic onto this program and make it a web proxy. So web accelerators that have to do with compression or priority rate shaping, bon appetite and eat your heart out. Muwaha. There's a new sheriff in town. slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [224]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [225]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) / Entering the Way / Posted by [226]slf on Mon May 09 2005 16:40 ([227]got somethin to say?) ([228]Link) / Entering the Way / Observe what people who arrived did to enter the Way. They strove mightily, as if they feared they wouldn't reach it, and looked all over for elevated Real People to teach them the mysterious wonder. Plunged into danger, they were not cowed; plunged into difficulty, they were not disturbed; faced with obstacles, they were not confused; confronted with hardships that refined them, they had no regrets. Such was their sincereity that they moved the Real People to teach them the essential, and thus they were able to attain penetrating understanding, without distortion. Then they came back and sat, silently carrying on mystic work, gazing above and examining below, realizing the mystery of mysteries. Yet they still did not become complacent: they mixed in with the ordinary world and carried out various undertakings and performed various deeds in the cities, towns, and villages. Thinking their works were still shallow, they made yet broader commitments, to carry out unlimited undertakings and accomplish unlimited deeds. They vowed that all people through the ages, those with knowledge and those without, would hear of the great Way and ascend to the ultimate goal." Sayings of Ancestor LU slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [229]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [230]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) Hello? Are you there?? Are you sure??? Posted by [231]slf on Sat May 07 2005 22:20 ([232]got somethin to say?) ([233]Link) im losin my mind with nowhere to go tonight. [234]IFrame Sysadmin life is the best. Posted by [235]slf on Fri May 06 2005 02:12 ([236]got somethin to say?) ([237]Link) I get to run the underworld all weekend. Like I'm getting paid to breathe right now. Conceptually this is revolutionary.. I have to be discrete about the customer names in the parking lot of my apartment complex so I dont have to say "And What Domain Was That?" as conspicuously as they squawk to the entire neighborhood something that makes even me blush. "Got it." I would bite back, sometimes snickering, sometimes chuckling, usually with the urge to blurt out "Can you repeat that?" a couple of times but I dont and basically I just try to downplay the whole thing like there was nothin to see here. Until I lay down to sleep and the phone rings. Haha. Sysadmin life is the best. slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [238]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [239]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) sure as you're born you're never gonna see no unicorns Posted by [240]slf on Wed May 04 2005 23:21 ([241]got somethin to say?) ([242]Link) i was forwarded this song and because of the birthday references it this makes me sad :( i miss my other half :( and my fraction :( im kindof sad, i have no friends irl, i get off work at midnight every night and go home to nothing, and stay up doing nothing just to go to sleep, not be rested, wake up barely make it back into work on time, stuck in a rut not really kind ;) and when the weekend comes around nobody can b found and all the seeds i planted got eaten by the damn gophers or roasted in the sun or something. everyone wants everything to be "perfect" and shit and no one wants to take chances w/me and my schedule doesnt really match up with anyone either. i am a very lonely diety. ) A long time ago, when the Earth was green ) There was more kinds of animals than you've ever seen ) They'd run around free while the Earth was being born ) And the loveliest of all was the unicorn ) ) There was green alligators and long-necked geese ) Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees ) Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born ) The loveliest of all was the unicorn ) ) The Lord seen some sinning and it gave Him pain ) And He says, "Stand back, I'm going to make it rain" ) He says, "Hey Noah, I'll tell you what to do ) Build me a floating zoo, ) and take some of those ) ) Green alligators and long-necked geese ) Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees ) Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born ) Don't you forget My unicorns ) ) Old Noah was there to answer the call ) He finished up making the ark just as the rain ) started to fall ) He marched the animals two by two ) And he called out as they came through ) Hey Lord, ) I've got green alligators and long-necked geese ) Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees ) Some cats and rats and elephants, but Lord, I'm so forlorn ) I just can't find no unicorns" ) ) And Noah looked out through the driving rain ) Them unicorns were hiding, playing silly games ) Kicking and splashing while the rain was falling ) Oh, them silly unicorns ) ) There was green alligators and long-necked geese ) Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees ) Noah cried, "Close the door because the rain is falling ) And we just can't wait for no unicorns" ) ) The ark started moving, it drifted with the tide ) The unicorns looked up from the rocks and they cried ) And the waters came down and sort of floated them away ) That's why you never see unicorns to this very day ) ) You'll see green alligators and long-necked geese ) Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees ) Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born ) You're never gonna see no unicorns. ) ~by shel silverstein. The fucked up thing is, in context of the analogy, I am a unicorn. I mated with a unicorn. I made a unicorn. I used to hangout with unicorns. I've met alot of once-in-a-lifetime unicorns and they introduced me to some unicorns too. And now I am a very lonely unicorn, wishing someone would find me, wishing I weren't the only unicorn left, wishing there was just one more out there, wishing time wasn't running out :( slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [243]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [244]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) Friend, Where are you? Posted by [245]slf on Wed May 04 2005 19:49 ([246]got somethin to say?) ([247]Link) Real friends are missing from my life. I feel like I'm back to square one. Open a door into my world, please? Ya know, thank you so much for This, webcollage Is awesome. Posted by [248]slf on Tue May 03 2005 03:35 ([249]got somethin to say?) ([250]Link) this Whole webcollage thing really cracks me up. it is the funniest mental deturrant from emphathic wandering i have ever found in my entire life, some of the things you see on it are fucking funny as hell, random wack ass shit, and its flying by as fast as it possibly can, its perfect random fucking shit white noise on the traffic flow accounting if u kno what i mean. if they are listening, you can say fun things to them like, it's art! well, its seriously a real representation of the kinds of random things that are out there. haha. I bet their driftnet will be just as hillarious as my desktop! Every 1 minute it goes into complete 'all collage' mode, its funny as hell permantly affixed as a piece of living art. it beats letting my mind wander. slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [251]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [252]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) sure is dusty in here, said the fly. Posted by [253]slf on Sat Apr 30 2005 21:02 ([254]got somethin to say?) ([255]Link) And the fucked up thing, when I found that quote what was above it, and what was below it! [256]http://www.cse.iitb.ac.in/~atish/quotations.html To see a World in a Grain of Sand, And a Heaven in a Wild Flower, Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand, And Eternity in an hour. - Sir William Blake A fly sat on the chariot wheel. And said, 'What dust I raise.'. - Jean De La Fontaine Six paces King to King ; From a millennium before ; Every time the battle runs ; Same men, same place, same war ; Boundries set, never change ; Men that never die ; Never a lasting victory ; Never a reason why ; Black and white ; For conflict's sake ; Rank and file ; Eight by eight. - Daniel Stanfield slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [257]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [258]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) Gotta love this one, Thanks Gramps to the 16th Power. Posted by [259]slf on Sat Apr 30 2005 21:00 ([260]got somethin to say?) ([261]Link) A fly sat on the chariot wheel. And said, 'What dust I raise.'. - Jean De La Fontaine slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [262]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [263]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) Hmm! Posted by [264]slf on Sat Apr 30 2005 20:59 ([265]got somethin to say?) ([266]Link) If you deal with a fox, think of his tricks. - Jean de La Fontaine hmm! slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [267]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [268]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) ahhah thats great Posted by [269]slf on Sat Apr 30 2005 20:58 ([270]got somethin to say?) ([271]Link) ahahha thats great... "When it's a question of policy, the organization bristles with advisers; but once it is a question of action, no one can be found." paraphrased from Jean de La Fontaine slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [272]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [273]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) aww Posted by [274]slf on Sat Apr 30 2005 20:57 ([275]got somethin to say?) ([276]Link) Sadness flies away on the wings of time. - Jean de La Fontaine slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [277]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [278]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) WOW! Heh ahha hah Posted by [279]slf on Sat Apr 30 2005 20:56 ([280]got somethin to say?) ([281]Link) Determination: 'Man is so made that whenever anything fires his soul, impossibilities vanish.' - Jean de la Fontaine slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [282]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [283]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) WOW! Posted by [284]slf on Sat Apr 30 2005 20:55 ([285]got somethin to say?) ([286]Link) Everyone believes very easily whatever they fear or desire. Jean de La Fontaine slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [287]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [288]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) wow. Posted by [289]slf on Sat Apr 30 2005 20:54 ([290]got somethin to say?) ([291]Link) "Anyone entrusted with power will abuse it if not also animated with the love of truth and virtue, no matter whether he be a prince, or one of the people." -- Jean de la Fontaine - "Fables" (1668) slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [292]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [293]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) gotta love it Posted by [294]slf on Sat Apr 30 2005 20:53 ([295]got somethin to say?) ([296]Link) Patience and time do more than strength or passion. Jean de la Fontaine slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [297]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [298]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) Jean de La Fontaine Quotes - My Great(x16!) Granddaddy Posted by [299]slf on Sat Apr 30 2005 20:32 ([300]got somethin to say?) ([301]Link) This is where my Y chromosone came from! :) He's my x16 great granddaddy and from the looks of things he wrote Aesophs fables and there is mention of Conti/Contess from France in Paris. Quite possibly is associated with the Ever After tale. This is so cool. Jean de La Fontaine Quotes A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it. Jean de La Fontaine A pessimist and an optimist, so much the worse; so much the better. Jean De La Fontaine Anyone entrusted with power will abuse it if not also animated with the love of truth and virtue, no matter whether he be a prince, or one of the people. Jean de La Fontaine Beware, so long as you live, of judging men by their outward appearance. Jean De La Fontaine By the work one knows the workman. Jean de La Fontaine Death never takes the wise man by surprise, he is always ready to go. Jean De La Fontaine Every flatterer lives at the expense of him who listens to him. Jean De La Fontaine Every journalist owes tribute to the evil one. Jean De La Fontaine Everyone believes very easily whatever they fear or desire. Jean de La Fontaine Everyone has his faults which he continually repeats: neither fear nor shame can cure them. Jean De La Fontaine Friendship is the shadow of the evening, which increases with the setting sun of life. Jean De La Fontaine It is twice the pleasure to deceive the deceiver. Jean De La Fontaine Man is so made that when anything fires his soul, impossibilities vanish. Jean de La Fontaine Neither wealth or greatness render us happy. Jean De La Fontaine Nothing is as dangerous as an ignorant friend; a wise enemy is to be preferred. Jean de La Fontaine Nothing is more dangerous than a friend without discretion; even a prudent enemy is preferable. Jean De La Fontaine Nothing is so dangerous as an ignorant friend. Jean De La Fontaine One of the secrets of getting more done is to make a TO DO List every day, keep it visible, and use it as a guide to action as you go through the day. Jean de La Fontaine One often has need of one, inferior to himself. Jean De La Fontaine One returns to the place one came from. Jean De La Fontaine Patience and time do more than strength or passion. Jean de La Fontaine People who make no noise are dangerous. Jean de La Fontaine Rare as is true love, true friendship is rarer. Jean De La Fontaine Sadness flies away on the wings of time. Jean de La Fontaine The argument of the strongest is always the best. Jean De La Fontaine The fastidious are unfortunate; nothing satisfies them. Jean De La Fontaine We like to see others, but don't like others to see through us. Jean de La Fontaine We read on the foreheads of those who are surrounded by a foolish luxury, that fortune sells what she is thought to give. Jean De La Fontaine slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [302]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [303]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) 2005 yamaha yzr r6 Posted by [304]slf on Thu Apr 28 2005 02:42 ([305]got somethin to say?) ([306]Link) [307]http://sanjoseyamaha.com/pages/sportbikes/r6.htm [308]http://sanjoseyamaha.com/2005/sport/05_mcy_R6_blk_2_4759.jpg I am going to have this bike. I have to have this bike. Mmm. Isshin-ryu Code Posted by [309]slf on Thu Apr 28 2005 01:13 ([310]got somethin to say?) ([311]Link) Isshin-ryu Code * A Person's Heart Is The Same As Heaven And Earth * The Blood Circulating Is Similar To The Moon And Sun * A Manner Of Drinking And Spitting Is Either Hard Or Soft * A Person's Unbalance Is The Same As Weight * The Body Should Be Able To Change Direction At Any Time * The Time To Strike Is When The Opportunity Presents Itself * The Eyes Must See All Sides * The Ear Must Listen In All Directions slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [312]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [313]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) kew 16 generations ago, my greatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreat granddaddy wanted you to know this. Posted by [314]slf on Wed Apr 27 2005 23:24 ([315]got somethin to say?) ([316]Link) Jean de La Fontaine uses examples of personification, imagery, similes, allusions, and symbolism to create a deeper meaning of the poem and to the emphasize the theme. "Le che^ne un jour dit au roseau:" is an example of personification that Fontaine uses throughout the poem. He personifies the oak and the reed as humans having a conversation. These lines: "Le moindre vent qui d'aventure fait rider la face de l'eau, vous oblige a` baisser la te^te; " show imagery and personification. The image that Fontaine creates, the rippling of the water, is one that the reader can visualize, while the lowering of the head represents a person bowing his head. This line: "Cependant que mon front, au Caucase pareil," contains a simile and an allusion. The simile is the comparison of the forehead to the Caucasus Mountains, while the allusion is the Greek mythology's Caucasus Mountains, which represent strength, fortitude, and perhaps danger. "Des royaumes du vent" is an allusion to the kingdom of the Greek wind god Aeolus who usually stirred up strong winds. "L'empire des morts" is also an allusion to the kingdom of Hades, which was the Greek underworld, representing the death of the oak. This poem expresses irony when the reed is troubled by simple burdens, but the reed is able to withstand difficult predicaments. The oak is symbolized as power, pride, and a false sense of strength, while the reed represents endurance, flexibility, and strength from within. slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [317]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [318]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) bounty hunter - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [319]slf on Wed Apr 27 2005 14:17 ([320]got somethin to say?) ([321]Link) Hide yo daughters! Haha j/k ..slf thank you x2 Posted by [322]slf on Wed Apr 27 2005 14:11 ([323]got somethin to say?) ([324]Link) Things are really turning for the better you know. I'm lonely OK but at least I'm hopeful. There's just this huge formality to relationships it feels like all of a sudden and I know I can believe in anyone and make it work quite honestly and I'm just trying to find someone loyal enough to not stab me on the back while we're on the job 3-5 yrs down the road ya know? I am *not* desprate. I *do* have confidence. I *can* meet people. But I dont really know what to do next and nothing is working so far so I'm getting creative and trying all kinds of things and hopefully something will work out. Im special I'm unique and there are kindred spirits soul mates and dual souls out there for me:) slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [325]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [326]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) thanks Posted by [327]slf on Wed Apr 27 2005 14:01 ([328]got somethin to say?) ([329]Link) i'm not trying to buy you or rent you, i'm just trying to love you.. slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [330]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [331]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) My dad sent this - Forwarded mail.... Posted by [332]slf on Wed Apr 27 2005 13:47 ([333]got somethin to say?) ([334]Link) My dad sent this. Haha. Are you KIDDING ME? You make me laugh man. If you're a hungry man, do you fish with ONE FISHING POLE dad? Or do you work the whole damn boat and increase your odds until you at *least* catch a fish. I dive right into the fire, thank you. Do you see it for why it is, or what it is? how it is, where it is........ Hahaha...................... ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Some of the stuff you put in your journal makes you come across as a dog in heat. If you are looking for a body thats what you will find. If you are looking for a real person that is somebodies daughter that is of much more value than just being female. Change your approach and go meet people that don't want to go to bed with each other on the first date. Dates are for getting to know people not for sex. Sure would like to see you read that book I sent you, you might learn something. an icon.... Posted by [335]slf on Wed Apr 27 2005 13:19 ([336]got somethin to say?) ([337]Link) What is so hard about the concept of dying a masonic icon? Chew on that one for five years and when I ask you what you think you give me yoir opinion. I chose to focus on the development of the common good and SOCIETY. My head IS in the clouds. I LOOK in the clouds. I make SKYHIGH DECISIONS in these clouds. I TOUCH these clouds. All people can most DEFINITELY make the same decisions with the SAME INFORMATION. ..slf treat me right - this is raw and real - hiiiii ladies! Posted by [338]slf on Wed Apr 27 2005 03:36 ([339]got somethin to say?) ([340]Link) plz someone treat me right, I kno this is raw+real, but aint it pretty obvious that I need a *girlfriend* like an actual token of gesture immediate inner huggin holdin my hand makin sweet love bla-d0w-PASSION YO. I want an actual relationship where I get to go on endless ordinary adventures with her, she gets to go on endess ordinary adventures w/me and like, we at that point see the world from the same point of view. If we could hold onto this moment just like we could a preemptive last chance.....? /meanwhile, scanning the sms messages.../ Me (3:00 am): If it did happen or if it didn't happen your job is to communicate back "this is a sltupid idea steven" at the very least demnit Me (3:01 am): u suck Me (3:01 am): It aint nothin new what u think im not gonna talk shit ? Me (3:03 am): Id rather be with somebody half as pretty as u who talked to me 2 times as much honestly. Hawhaw. Me (3:03 am): Like u dog me like I got access or somethin, what the hell is that about Me (3:04 am): If im not what u want, say it. Me (3:04 am): let's get the dynamic of our relationship clear enough that im not rootin for your team wrongly. Me (2:55 am): You must live your life with a lot of regret. If you or I were dead rigjt now from heartbreak Me (2:56 am): Would u still act like this tew me ? Me (2:56 am): if u knew ahead of time that I would just be here tomorrow for some reason Me (2:57 am): U got game olympics playa Me (2:57 am): Why can't u float or swim baby Me (2:58 am): Im worth treating like a real human being Me (2:58 am): And u shouldn't take 12 dates to see that and have me practically begging u to gimmie common dignity Me (2:59 am): It is simple ok. You communicate about a plan. U do your part. Then!! This is the big part. Me (3:05 am): like u took a nap right before touching home plate. Me (3:07 am): I got love and truth. Me (3:07 am): What do u got Me (3:10 am): Ante up now call the bet now :) Me (3:11 am): Ok goodnight!!!!! GOOOOOODNIGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHT Me (3:12 am): Syke. Don't be a punk. Me (3:13 am): U love me like somebody who's about to tell me to my face to shutup Me (3:14 am): Friend. Me (3:14 am): Equal. Partner. Me (3:14 am): Peer. Me (3:14 am): Hold on to their actual meaning for me ok, u read [341]http://illusion.org/love.html sometime. Me (3:15 am): Im not playing cat and mouse with you, its late, so I don't quit and I don't fail, and yet......... ..slf SUPER MOBLOG EMAIL-TO-BOOKS-THAT-WRITE-BOOKS-THAT-WRITE-PAGES-WITH-PICTURES how this whole thing came to be... Posted by [342]slf on Tue Apr 26 2005 03:49 ([343]got somethin to say?) ([344]Link) Genius Disclaimer. Remember the game Myst? The bring me blue pages / bring me red pages guys? Well what if you could have an entire library of books like those guys? Bring me blue pages!@#!#!#@! BRRRIIINNNG ME BLUE PAGESSSSSS! HAHA:) [shameless myst reference. BRING ME BLUE PAGES NOW THANK U HEHE:)] The Hungry Book ? The Hungry Bookshelf ? describing something to a program via casual/comfortable dictation at the users leisure into an infinite number of manilla envelopes or special uniquely titled containers. basically infinite containers for infinite things you haven't anticipated yet. share the magic "creation" word and you can have other people look at that newly created book. If the audience Does not know the name of the book or if the book is authenticated it becomes trivial to publish information on any number of topics highly efficiently to put the user once again back in a scenario where writing comes first, function of how to write comes second. You'll mentally spend more time composing and less time context switching. It's all about making the code happen, and it's all about instant automagic posting. I just send this one message and I have added my thoughts to whichever book or subject matter or topic or journal or legacy I have imagined. Instead of having one super huge stack of pancakes now I have an entire table filled with plates soaring high full of pancakes. Have a plate. Complete with *images?* What an eye opener? This is what happens when a historical blogger and moonlight historical everything2 user grows up. This is what happens when I use my Treo every day to send messages to myself. I allways found myself wondering why I was not writing in multiple books per day. Then I created one or two additional books, then I started saying to myself, why dont I just make this program "initialize" a new book slot? What a candy store an email client becomes. One composer can do all. Librarian Mafia Style. U kno I got yo back. Pine represent?! 20 Years from now go ask the Librarians, there are people out there who will clutch to Pine (colorcoded such as mine it's pleasant!) eternally. The editor that has brought so much composition over the years, so many rants, loves, codes, tricks, tools, reports, utilities, repair's, heck, all kinds of shit. And then it got everyone using Pico. And then Pico did alot of things right, but was fucking missing like one feature that common sense sortof just told you should have been there. And then the people made a free version of an editor that was similar to Pico called Nano, and it was Even Better. This new editor could do things that made writing code and indenting crap and justifying paragraphs and quoting shit really easy! It was easy to decide something, and stick with it, for general conventions. And I spent my time writing, not fucking with the line-mode of my input device. I would rather be typing another page on my book thank you instead of hitting escape i escape a vi crap or whatever. I think vi sucks. Sure you may swear by it, but dumb people in packs tote a shitload of keys in this circumstance. Nano/pico/pine are the only composition package I will ever really use. It's just email. And when it comes right down to it, what it takes to be comfortable enough to dream all this next level shit is decades of bypassing. I just write. I dont see computer. I dont see keyboard. I dont even see the letters that I'm typing to make this word appear on the screen. It just swims on out of my rhythm right onto the screen. Its amazing. And Now I Made It Even Easier. All you have to do is choose any of your existing books to add a fresh page to, or you can come up with the name of a NEW BOOK, and that book will be created and your page will be the first in the new book. Have however many books you want. A journal is just one of may loops around the truth. Some anchor things in ways which tug the ship in a direction it's supposed to go. You see what I want you to see, nothing more. This is my pile of Hay and that's MY pitchfork. It'll look sorted eventually. When I'm Done With It. :P When Its On The Shelf. What a motto! -Steven Fountain, As I Made Minions That Write Books From The Orders I Give Them You are witnessing here something cooler than Blogging. And it's simpler and more powerful at the same time than livejournal's journaling features (technically hands down, sorry guys, your shit just sucks nuts for the bells and whistles u guys put up there. U got enough problems, I've always hated your shit)... This shit's cooler than any MovingType site any day too. Because it's about the WRITING and its about GETTING THE WRITING OUT and its about WRITING AND MOST DEFINITELY NOT MAKING A DAMN PORTAL OUT OF YOUR WRITING. It's about your writing STANDING ON ITS OWN MERIT FOR HOW AMAZING OF A CONCEPT IT IS TO INVOKE. *SELF EVIDENT!* ITS PRACTICAL DAMNIT, JUST THINK! SO NO MATTER WHERE I AM, NO MATTER WHAT I AM COMMUNICATING WITH, AS LONG AS I CAN SEND A MESSAGE TO MYSELF I CAN USE A REMOTE FILING SYSTEM TO FILE MY DOCUMENTS IN THEIR OWN BOOKS FOR WHATEVER PURPOSE THE BOOK MAY BE USED FOR. SO INSTANTLY AFTER THOSE DOCUMENTS ARE TRANSMITTED TO THE OTHER HALF OF THE CONTINENT, WHEN THEY GET TO THAT BUNKER, IT WONT REALLY MATTER WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU BECAUSE SOMEWHERE SOMEPLACE YOU TOOK NOTE OF IT. SO IT MAKES IT TRIVIAL TO COLLECT ALL SORTS OF FUCKING KINDS OF THINGS ACTUALLY. I REALLY LIKE IT. ITS LIKE RECYCLING FOR MY OWN BRAIN. So it's a book that writes books just as easily as you write pages in the book, and it eats picture attachments (single *or* multiple (ya i kno u love me)) and is very stable and mature (I have personally used it to write over a thousand pages of content in my spare time) ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, STEVEN FOUNTAIN (C)2005, PLEASE IMMEDIATELY CONTACT STEVEN FOUNTAIN AT 925-895-1500 FOR FUNDING ENTERPRISE SCALE DEPLOYMENTS OF THIS APPLICATION SERVICE. [Hey, It's worth money. Lets be serious!] Email slf@dreamscape.org if you are interested in making an enterprise business concept out of this idea. What I have will massively scale into a very simple email-to-book concept for anything really. Add to a book you have. Create a new book and add to it instead. Publish one set of clues in one book. And publish another set of clues in another book. Keep them guessing. Haha. There is much fun to be had with this "multi-book" manner of thinking. I just had to come up with a 2.0 after the journal hovers around ~1MB in just a short time. What can I say, I go through keyboards a *LOT*, there was sure definitely a gem to come out of it. If you bite my concept and keep me out of it, at least pay me off for doing the idea first (automatic photo-blogging (moblogging?)) especially with a Treo as the publishing base. And you can't knock that I've had a journal on this domain for about a decade. Just listen to me. I know what I'm talking about, seriously, compentently, if you meditate on this one message, you will gain superior creativity and organizational harnessable output of your own mind. Then just plop yourself down and write. And distribute your rants into different books to give you something different to continue your tangents about until your books are making books which are making books *AND SO ON* and so forth! It's quite revolutionary:) The magic of duct taping email to efficient programs has not been effectively tapped. So lets get this kegger started. Buy me a Beer! -STEVEN FOUNTAIN, CAMPBELL CALIFORNIA. I HAVE INFINITE BANDWIDTH. WRITTEN FOR THE HEART AND SOUL OF THE SILICON VALLEY, BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY WRITTEN FOR THE SAKE OF THE TRUTH NOT BEING FORGOTTEN. FOR THE SAKE OF THE SHORT OR SIMPLE MESSAGE YOU MAY HAVE BUT SECONDS TO TYPE OUT THAT MIGHT SAVE THOUSANDS OF LIVES, FOR THE PERFECT GATHERING OF THE PERFECT EVIDENCE OF THE PERFECT CRIME (MUWAHA, HOW U LIKE ME NOW?) AND THE POLISHED SWORD IN THE EDUCATED PUBLIC'S SCABBARD. WITH A THOUSAND SUPER AUTHORS OF A PUBLISHING SYSTEM SUCH AS THIS, WITH TWO OR THREE PEOPLE WHO WITNESS THE SAME EVENT.... I DEDICATE THIS TO YOU AND YOUR READERS. PUT THE POWER OF THE 4TH BRANCH OF THE GOVERNMENT IN YOUR OWN HANDS AND PASS IT ON. Livejournal blog shit aint got nothin on this *one* simple mechanism, it could *immediately* tackle and takeover the Hotmail Gmail Yahoomail pools. Can you imagine *those services alone* and just how many *emails* people would be Sending To Themselves? I mean sure, you have an email account. But Can you send yourself a message and instantly have a tasteable *published* product? Professional looking at that? Dang man, this is just too hot! I love writing. This idea is honestly so good that I'm gonna do it *my way* and *my style* and I'm going to make a crappy idea scale as far as the eye can see. A better blogging service and you never have to do anything more than email somebody no differently then telling a friend. And you can have as many books as you want each with their own special entry criteria. It is there to open and show you the door, and to make three more doors just like it, rinse and repeat. I made this. All of it. And it's still fucking unique! I got two Treos I liked it so much. Mobile publishing stations. I wouldn't leave home without it. Its so damn invaluable to look back upon ones life after so many years. It adds up, it really adds up. I have learned so much from myself over these years talking to/with/at/for myself..... The mirror turns into a mist and flashes to LEAP OUT, *SCRATCH* LET ME IN LET ME IN slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [345]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [346]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) how this whole thing came to be... Posted by [347]slf on Tue Apr 26 2005 02:46 ([348]got somethin to say?) ([349]Link) describing something to a program via casual/comfortable dictation at the users leisure into an infinite number of manilla envelopes or special uniquely titled containers. slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [350]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [351]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) I'm single, Do what you can to Help Posted by [352]slf on Sun Apr 24 2005 22:11 ([353]got somethin to say?) ([354]Link) I am *very* single. slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [355]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [356]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) I warned him, curses are curses Posted by [357]slf on Sun Apr 24 2005 17:30 ([358]got somethin to say?) ([359]Link) Sarita told me my son has been calling Lee Da-dee. And she also told me he got in a car accident. He deserves it. She said she's gonna be my pimp and find me a girlie. I warned him. Curses are curses. IM JUROR NUMBER NINE, hehe. Posted by [360]slf on Sun Apr 24 2005 15:09 ([361]got somethin to say?) ([362]Link) The Superior Court of California County of Santa Clara heredoes by order of the court, mandate that you show up 5/16/05 through 5/20/05 for jury duty. Me for jury duty huh. Sure i'll do it. slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [363]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [364]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) dun dun dun.. hehe! Posted by [365]slf on Sun Apr 24 2005 12:42 ([366]got somethin to say?) ([367]Link) On a sunday! Haha! :) Dun dun dun DUNDUHDUHdunDUHDUH Posted by [368]slf on Sun Apr 24 2005 12:40 ([369]got somethin to say?) ([370]Link) Correction. Lucasfilm looked at swim/ (my journal) 3 times like just a couple hours ago! THAT IS SO AWESOME. I HEART U LUCASFILM. slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [371]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [372]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) also pretty damn cool Posted by [373]slf on Sun Apr 24 2005 00:53 ([374]got somethin to say?) ([375]Link) 23 21:34 cacheflow2.lucasfilm.com 63.82.98.49 slf-whiskars.jpg ..slf plz find someone to love me / please let me be Posted by [376]slf on Sat Apr 23 2005 17:16 ([377]got somethin to say?) ([378]Link) I just sent my ex a "plz find someone to love me" note. That sux. "let me be" I said........... ..slf what am I to all of you anyway? Posted by [379]slf on Sat Apr 23 2005 17:13 ([380]got somethin to say?) ([381]Link) What am I to all of you anyway? ..slf I shaved, pet me Posted by [382]slf on Sat Apr 23 2005 14:18 ([383]got somethin to say?) ([384]Link) I don't really ever "pass the time" - all I do is smoke cigarettes. Haha. I woke up on day two of the ever obvious solo slumber party. When I got off work I pretty much just slept and slept all the way to 8pm, last night I gave up on all these slackers and went to bed until 2pm - that's a lot of sleep! Jeeze 20hrs then 14hrs.... I am my castle, this aint my castle. I am the castle. Complete with every analogy and tactic and reference. My brain did what it was supposed to by healing me hehe. Sheesh. But now I shaved my beard off. Ha ha ha. Yeah. It was pretty bad. Now I don't have porcupine armor. Haha. I feel hecka wierd. I can't confess you wouldn't understand. No one does really. Life has taken dives in peculiar directions, all I have is working and dreaming. The basis to express myself is not what it used to be. Do you know how long its been since I went to a rave? What happened to the kinds of people that just made shit happen for people underworld style ? Was It A One Way One Time trip ? are there none who would lasso onto me to get me out into the world again ? can someone please save me from myself with sweet luvin instead of tough luvin ? Damnit ? Ya know ? Wellllll..... I hate you. I hate you for doing this to me. You know who you are. Subjectively all of you as it were. ..slf ok... Posted by [385]slf on Fri Apr 22 2005 20:49 ([386]got somethin to say?) ([387]Link) Something feels wierd. I slept until 8pm and now im awake. Ack. ..slf ok just so nobodys worried Posted by [388]slf on Fri Apr 22 2005 00:54 ([389]got somethin to say?) ([390]Link) Put an offer on my table when I retire. My company needs me too. Just so nobodys worried. Everythings going to be ok. Ok? ..slf I like my current job Posted by [391]slf on Fri Apr 22 2005 00:42 ([392]got somethin to say?) ([393]Link) I like my current job. Im a guardian of subocean fiber. I mean come on. People trust me. Ok. I had access to 100 million email accounts. Legitimately. People have really trusted me. How much more does it take before u people notice me and ask me to help out some way in a higher purpose. ..slf attention gov research people Posted by [394]slf on Fri Apr 22 2005 00:39 ([395]got somethin to say?) ([396]Link) Maybe those 6 years of going to defcon carrying a 75 lb bag in 110 degree weather for all those hours are going to pay off, hmm? I got potential! Put a grant on my table and gimmie a team! Im serious! Put some kind of job offer on my table train me to do it without that boot camp shit. I want to be in on the jump u guys got on the future. ..slf amen Posted by [397]slf on Fri Apr 22 2005 00:22 ([398]got somethin to say?) ([399]Link) 21 11:21 global.tic.dod.mil dod.mil 214.4.0.140 swim/ That's cool. I feel like albert einstein. ..slf something that swims, something that flies, something that was grown, and something that grows. mmm mmm good! Posted by [400]slf on Thu Apr 21 2005 20:29 ([401]got somethin to say?) ([402]Link) For dinner I just ate something that swims (pollock fish!@# 3x) something that flies (chicken, well, they're a bird :p 3x) something that was grown (mashed potatoes 2x) something that grows (the yeast in my biscuit! 2x) and a soda:) mac and cheese and finally, a soda. mmm. :) hah ha ha! Mmm. Fish. Bird. Potatoes. Biscuits. MM. *roar* slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [403]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [404]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) HACK3R PIRAT3S OF THE HIGH S3AS COMING TO A TH3AT3R N3AR U Posted by [405]slf on Thu Apr 21 2005 03:24 ([406]got somethin to say?) ([407]Link) Hahaha, There was this whole thing on slashdot today about Seacode, the off-shore pirate hacker ship idea to near shore on the shore. I really couldn't help myself, posting a comment saying: ---- Arrrr, matey. Think of the pirate lifestyle this is. Someone's going to either mutiny this ship, or sink it. One way or another, it is inevitable that it will happen. All that ye live work and are imprisoned for will sink to the depths of the sea, yarr! In many pieces of 8. Haha. ;) Hope you bring your parrot. And an eyepatch. Yarr. ---- And then I started looking at the comments, noticing something: "Hey why do I see a Bollymood about this coming soon?" And I was thinking to myself, Haha, that's seriously a hillarious idea, Team America style. Think of how funny that whole situation is, it wouldn't work, it seriously wouldn't work. Its like, office space meets pirates of the carribean. Haha. It would be an awesome movie depiciting corporate america and it ABSOLUTELY HAS TO BE CREATED BY SOMEONE OUT THERE! HAHA! Think of all the Guybrush Monkey Island commentary. Think of all the crazy computer vocabulary. Like [408]http://bash.org/?9081 for example! Spin: arrrr, pirates of the south west Spin: thar be large pipes o'bandwith near ye'ol univarsety. Pirate: yearg, ye may be an ta somethan thar. Spin: what say ye we pull yonder USB hard disk longside yonder NMSU puter and begin tha lutin and plunderin. Pirate: yearg. The master done gaved me a testin machine with a grand ol CDR. Pirate: Avast! Pirate: MP3s off the starboard bow! Spin: stere clear of ye porn pop ups rollin in from tha east. Pirate: I have mah trusty Opera browsa to help me fend em off. Spin: encrypt the data holds, batton down thar security patches, argh thar be spyware abound. Haha.......... If everyone on the whole ship talked like that shit, haha... I'm serious. I hope i have a dream about that shit. haha. Think. They could like, attack the RIAA and the MPAA, they could go plunder foreign countries, i mean shit, an entire fucking ship of hacker pirates?!?! haha..... That shit is so funny because it doesnt pass the common sense 'that shit would never happen' test yo. SO GO MAKE THE MOVIE I WANT TO SEE PLEASE. I WANT TO BE IN IT. HAHA :) [409]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg ;) slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [410]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [411]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) im just getting started, believe u me Posted by [412]slf on Thu Apr 21 2005 03:12 ([413]got somethin to say?) ([414]Link) (slf:#nwraves) *cough* -:- BitchX: You are now talking to channel #nwraves (slf) lifes good. god owes me and is paying alimoney checks in many fashions. (slf) hope u ppl r doin aite (slf) dont let the clownz scare u (slf) i have done work with more agencies companies organizations govs schools and box socials than u could shake a television at. (slf) oregon aint got shit on cali ;) haha [im from pdx] (slf) seattle neither ;) (slf) but i heart u all (slf) haha (slf) ;) (slf) im the guardian for subocean fiber from 3pm to midnight. haha. (slf) here fishy fishy (slf) ill keep yo packets nice and fresh (slf) it makes my head hurt just thinking about 8TB/s (slf) im the littlest fish in that sea of knowledge for damn sure (slf) and why? all because i BELIEVE im special because i got a cool bday and had more the devil is playing games with me tricks than any of u muthafuckas? just wait until my son grows up with 2 parents born on the very same day i mentioned before. my son will live the greatest epic tale of all time of all family lineages ever created. (slf) hahahahahaha. im just getting fucking started, believe u me. (slf) later fishies greater things are about to happen what a day! Posted by [415]slf on Thu Apr 21 2005 00:18 ([416]got somethin to say?) ([417]Link) i'm happy, something really cool is about to happen. despair inc calendar titles Posted by [418]slf on Tue Apr 19 2005 21:10 ([419]got somethin to say?) ([420]Link) man, i digged these so much i had to put them up here anyway, they're from the 2005 despair inc calendar titles... * Achievement - You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor. * Ambition - The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly. * Cluelessness- There are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots. * Consulting - If you're not part of the solution, there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem. * Demotivation - Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all of the unhappy people. * Despair - It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black. * Idiocy - Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. * Meetings - None of us is as dumb as all of us. * Mistakes- It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others. * Motivation - If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon. * Pretension - The downside of being better than everyone else is that people tend to assume you're pretentious. * Procrastination - Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now. # Mediocrity - It takes a lot less time and most people won't notice the difference until it's too late. # Burnout - Attitudes are contagious. Mine might kill you. # Incompetence - When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, There's no end to what you can't do. # Elitism- It's lonely at the top. But it's comforting to look down upon everyone at the bottom. # Limitations - Until you spread your wings, You'll have no idea how far you can walk. # Teamwork - A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction. slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [421]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [422]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) You know, something really scar Posted by [423]slf on Tue Apr 19 2005 17:34 ([424]got somethin to say?) ([425]Link) You know, something really scarry in UNIX visionary vision root@dreamscape:~) grep halli logwatch-retrograde7.log [ 666][ unknown ] 14/Mar/2005 13:14 ** halhoupro1.halliburton.com (64.154.26.250) [302|5b] /swim/index.php?op=rdf [4826] [ known ] 14/Mar/2005 13:14 ** halhoupro1.halliburton.com (64.154.26.250) [200|821137b] /swim/index.php?op=rss -- I am *not* fucking with the number haha. They took my *book* n shit like full copy, practically at a meg right now. like, halliburton *syndicates* my journal. HAHA I mean WOW, I'm getting all these uber crazy hits to my weblog. I really watch where these origins are coming from and sometimes its really flattering. u folks kno u got respect haha. check it, im gonna paste some of them Look at all the companies that have checked out my shit- amazon.com bankofamerica.com broadcom.com gap.com jcpenny.com mentorg.com peoplesoft.com seagate.com techcu.com sun.com bio-rad.com adobe.com creative.com compaq.com dickies.com emc.com disney.com fedex.com ups.com halliburton.com nitel.com lucent.com statefarm.com opera.com verisign.com walgreens.com oracle.com palmsource.com tivo.com networksolutions.com netiq.com symbol.com sbc.com paramount.com northgrum.com northrupgrumman.com boeing.com compusa.com mastercard.com wellsfargo.com agilient.com propel.com hp.com untd.com libritas.com nimblefish.com vmware.com intelliseek.com ibm.com microsoft.com apple.com twcable.com covad.com become.com yahoo.com ask.com northropgrumman.com stratify.com lilly.com twi.com sony.com cisco.com raytheon.com dcma.mil navy.mil army.mil usmc.mil af.mil bc.edu calpoly.edu chop.edu dartmouth.edu earlham.edu eou.edu expression.edu gcc.edu longwood.edu mbc.edu mills.edu msu.edu mtu.edu neu.edu richmond.edu scrippscollege.edu seattleu.edu sfsu.edu sonoma.edu t-bird.edu uark.edu ucar.edu ucdavis.edu ucop.edu umass.edu umd.edu unm.edu uop.edu upenn.edu upr.edu uvm.edu washington.edu brynmawr.edu buffalo.edu cabrillo.edu iupui.edu jhu.edu ksbe.edu mayo.edu memphis.edu nebo.edu pomona.edu rice.edu siskiyous.edu sju.edu stanford.edu swri.edu tamu-commerce.edu uic.edu umassd.edu umbc.edu uncg.edu unh.edu unt.edu utexas.edu westga.edu xu.edu caltech.edu csumb.edu losrios.edu nd.edu psu.edu ucla.edu uconn.edu ufl.edu nevada.edu reed.edu utah.edu pitt.edu ucsf.edu wisc.edu iastate.edu smsu.edu unc.edu drexel.edu muohio.edu umich.edu columbia.edu usc.edu bu.edu tamu.edu noao.edu wctc.edu colorado.edu indiana.edu uci.edu apollogrp.edu ucsb.edu harvard.edu mcg.edu gvsu.edu humboldt.edu sfusd.edu ucsc.edu wsu.edu nuco.edu uiuc.edu sjsu.edu usf.edu aeanet.org collegeboard.org emq.og fuhsd.org goldmanfund.org lifespan.org multcolib.org onereel.org ppgg.org scoe.org spl.org ssec.org ucsfmedicalcenter.org uhcwv.org wcs.org ahsc.org bradfordareaschools.org esu3.org newdramatist.org ssfhs.org moric.org unionps.org calhounisd.org coxsackie-athens.org mhric.org dpsk12.org lahey.org imcpl.org archive.org bart.gov llnl.gov uscourts.gov gsa.gov nist.gov usgs.gov usps.gov bop.gov usda.gov ca.gov lbl.gov maricopa.gov nasa.gov hanford.gov doe.gov i couldnt even list all the .net's even if i tried haha ;) werd. u all owe me a thank u or a whassup. They like me. Hah Hah ha. slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [426]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [427]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) I went to the beach on saterday in half moon bay - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [428]slf on Sun Apr 17 2005 15:07 ([429]got somethin to say?) ([430]Link) Waves are neat. I had a really good weekend, it just keeps getting better and better. Man, I really feel an accountability problem talking about it. Its no big deal. Im just coming to terms with bein ok with myself in extreme difficult situations in a way that I seem to derive some sense of enjoyment from. I laid in bed and got to sleep with a complete stranger. Nuffing happened but the whole experience was kindof a headrush. Lookitme trying to say accountability problem. Ha ha. So I feel apart of the social vibe, even tho I aint seen nowhere near 100 percent up in here. I have had doors open in my life in a way that really has made me rethink pretty much everything. I know more now than I did before but I still have a long way to go on the journey. I am at peace by kindness. Thanks. Im still lookin for that special somebody tho. ..slf tonight - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [431]slf on Sat Apr 16 2005 16:19 ([432]got somethin to say?) ([433]Link) Tonight. ..slf data necromancy recovery e2extract success, AGAIN Posted by [434]slf on Fri Apr 15 2005 22:33 ([435]got somethin to say?) ([436]Link) I ran the wget -r [437]http://dreamscape.org/toolkit/ mirror of e2extract and it still works and saved the day on my supercorrupted partition with pretty much all the data back. I got back 200 gigs after 5 minutes of surfing directory inodes using the binaries that I had when I wrote it. This is the second time I have restored so much data and I had to do it like this. Success. ..slf a thought, for you Posted by [438]slf on Wed Apr 13 2005 13:37 ([439]got somethin to say?) ([440]Link) You don't have to do it perfect, you just have to keep doing it. ..slf wtf is this coming to... Posted by [441]slf on Tue Apr 12 2005 02:23 ([442]got somethin to say?) ([443]Link) All I can think to do is sit in bed and type shit out on this treo. Im kindof gonna b a nightowl and I think the neighbors are going to have a hard time setting things up. I just got home from work pretty much. I hope they aren't going to have a problem with this shit. Its pretty wack as it is having to sit here with nothing to do. Basically im not sure wtf to feel right now. Everything should be fine, but what am I doing this shit for anyway? love, right? Life right? So remind me, seriously. Just remind me! I need a little reminder every now and again. I think a baby just got woken up downstairs. Ugh. They shouldn't have such precious cargo sleepin so close to a man's room. u get that. Its pretty messed up to begin with. I aint got no ass in this bed since thanksgiving and fucking for christ sake man. ..slf the only thing missing to this stepladder formula Posted by [444]slf on Tue Apr 12 2005 01:37 ([445]got somethin to say?) ([446]Link) I want to sleep next to somebody. I really want someone who's going to be there for me, who's willing to take a chance go on a limb benefit of the doubt excursion starting from complete trust and growing from there. I want a partner in crime who's allways got my back. Who when it comes right down to it would chose me instead of friends, as a tactic to remedy both relationships - so u wouldn't have to ! Damnit im a cool guy I got mad adventure on the backlog and right now is the perfect time for a woman to come into my life. Be forewarned though, shit allways comes up. Wedges allways appear, catching onto me may be extremely difficult from your own perspective. But know this, I would allways choose you first. I would allways rather be there with you. We come first in my eyes before all. From that great wonders manifest. I am a pride leader, lion style. I do and will verbally have your back. I won't let nobody talk no crap to anyone we protect like this. I will allways be faithful in my actions and words. ..slf What happens now? Posted by [447]slf on Tue Apr 12 2005 01:04 ([448]got somethin to say?) ([449]Link) The fish dont like the bait. Anyway, I Feel kindof disconnected with the world at large. I work odd hours. I kindof feel like I could just go through a couple years of my life and nobody would even know (expression) that I was here. So once again, I'm doing my part. What happens now? I keep thinking to myself... Been quite a lot of fish lately, but no followup. What gives with that. All I want is a wassup. Or a "hey, how you doin", or an exchange of ideas or a bridge/line of communication to help someone solve a problem. ... There sure are some cool fish in these ponds too! Too bad none of them are saying wassup. Here fishy fishy. *yawn* *Stretch* Let's do it. Posted by [450]slf on Mon Apr 11 2005 13:56 ([451]got somethin to say?) ([452]Link) Cool -- I slept in 5 times. I had like 4 dreams. I took a shower. I'm gunna grab breakfast/lunch/whateverucallit i like the new schedule. everything fell into place. :) 5xnice Posted by [453]slf on Sun Apr 10 2005 18:33 ([454]got somethin to say?) ([455]Link) I am currently bumping the following radiostation at work. Thank you. [456]http://www.joshuabridge.com/5times check it hung mice, day two. - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [457]slf on Sun Apr 10 2005 18:10 ([458]got somethin to say?) ([459]Link) somebody stole the balls outta the mice! Ahaha. ..slf your phone.... Is about to die. Gauntlet style. Posted by [460]slf on Sun Apr 10 2005 04:16 ([461]got somethin to say?) ([462]Link) Your battery is EXTREMELY LOW. I know already I know already. ..slf all these women hurting me are really bugging me. Posted by [463]slf on Sun Apr 10 2005 03:47 ([464]got somethin to say?) ([465]Link) all these women hurting me are really bugging me. fuck it, i'm kindof through with this. kindof. haha. re- FW- Emailing: Picture 001 (fwd) Posted by [466]slf on Sun Apr 10 2005 03:47 ([467]got somethin to say?) ([468]Link) re: FW- Emailing? hahahaha i aint yo side dish. IM THE MAIN COURSE. ill fwd somethin too. What the hell is Sandra doing mailing me her picture at midnight, when she was supposed to be here for the 3rd time (AT ALL?) this weekend. I thought I told u an hour ago girl. Stop msging me. Leave me alone. Im sick of u standing me up, ppl dont do that to me. Ppl dont deserve to have someone to do that to them. U go along now and hang out with your hick friends / brother / I'm not really sure because you left the phone on in your pocket and I heard alot of wierd shit for the *1* minute that I was "Hello? Are you there? Are you there?" ----- What part of STOP IT, LEAVE ME ALONE do u not understand ----- ur like trying to hack a page in my book sandra.... seriously. You wrote me this whole message about "oh I'm trying to have a serious relationship with you, I know I just met you but I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo into you, i've read your whoooooooole life and i know eeeeeeeeeeeverything there is to know about you" and then u were like "and ill be there" - and i got all excited, and then u were like j/k and this one time at a wallgreens u stood me up at 4am, and this other time u ditched me and i fell asleep because i really wanted u over here, and i recall doing that a couple times actually, u kno, just collapsing from being lonely. and then yesterday (saterday) and the day before that (friday) u ditched me completely, "I'll be back later" you said, just to "have your car Towed"-- yea right. eXactly. x marks the spot on that one. And u just played it at your house and didn't even come over. Fucking toying with me like a ball of yarn. And then the next night u did the same thing, and both times in the morning you were trying to get my attention again. So you tried to get my attention and then u blew me off, THIS AINT HOW U BLOW A MAN HAHA SERIOUSLY, off you go ... So.. .... because ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS .... You obviously aint requesting the capacity. I aint fufilling the request for capacity that you makin. *YOU ARE HURTING ME* *I HAVE FEELINGS* WTF? I hung two mice. - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [469]slf on Sat Apr 09 2005 14:06 ([470]got somethin to say?) ([471]Link) ..slf And... I want to fall in *LOVE* Posted by [472]slf on Sat Apr 09 2005 12:02 ([473]got somethin to say?) ([474]Link) Oh, so now she's showing up! Which is it?! Is she showing up or isin't she? haha;) u gotta commit to showin up before u can commit to me b..... ima go watch jeapordy, check it--[plays the jeapordy theme] i want to fall in *love* and.. I can't believe she ditched me Posted by [475]slf on Sat Apr 09 2005 11:07 ([476]got somethin to say?) ([477]Link) I can't believe she ditched me. here, we'll do a test to see how u kno my sarcasm... I'd be lying if I said there was only ONE thing missing in my life. ..slf u did it to me again??? sigh... Posted by [478]slf on Sat Apr 09 2005 10:06 ([479]got somethin to say?) ([480]Link) I got stood up last night. again. My self worth aint so hot. :( and my battery died, i'm touring over to work, gonna find a charger. so much for my weekend. its allways the pretty ones that hurt the most :( good timing, too. - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [481]slf on Sat Apr 09 2005 00:13 ([482]got somethin to say?) ([483]Link) ..slf again? urm. - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [484]slf on Sat Apr 09 2005 00:00 ([485]got somethin to say?) ([486]Link) man. ..slf filesystem thoughts for drive failure resistant filesystems - LETS MAKE THIS SHIT DAMNIT -- re: e2extract... help! Posted by [487]slf on Fri Apr 08 2005 18:29 ([488]got somethin to say?) ([489]Link) [To: Steve Loughran (Steve_Loughran@scee.sony.co.uk)] Hey! Wow, seems like we're both in the same boat. Dont panic. There's a way out of this short of magnetospectroscopy. Yes, the 'number' was in reference to the starting directory inode. There are other tools in [490]http://dreamscape.org/toolkit/ that I wrote that help you find directory inodes. In a nutshell what's really going on is that they're statting every inode "cubbyhole" on your entire machine, and we are also reading every inode and all attached blocks to feed to the 'file' command (for automagic identification), and directory inodes show up as "data" (was unknown datatype at the time) -- These inodes that show up as "data" are likely candidates for directory inodes. When you find one, say it puts you somewhere around etc, you dont nessicarily know if it's /etc, /var/etc, /usr/local/etc, without backtracking through enough "legit" directories to identify the consensus (more or less) of what the starting point is. Your / might have gotten screwed up and you may still have usr var home etc that just somehow got disconnected from the primary inode. Hey man, I was so flattered that this tool was useful to you (I get alot of gov/mil/intelligence/ops/arch traffic to this tool, two fans have rewrote it, etc) -- well... i was so flattered that I want to help you out with this one. I had a 250 gig drive go down. And it's got massive data corruption. So I may very well rewrite a more advanced tool out of e2extract, like a 2.0 or something. The important thing to do is dont damage the media any more! If you can dd off the data, let the thing cool off for awhile. Shittily/spookily enough, sometimes aligning the drives vertical or flipping them upsidedown can "jury rig" a clean read of screwed up sectors. Be careful. Once you get a good image of your drive, do all your work on a temporary copy of that image. The job of the ext2/ext3 fs is trivial enough to do by hand. Reiserfs doesnt exactly let you do the same kind of thing....... The fact that you have a RAID volume probably means I would have to make a special version or modify the version of istat/icat to work with split volumes. You probably need at *least* that much storage just to even marginally work with it. You need one working copy which is not the original. Hey, so if you reply back to this message, I'll reply back to you with my initial return into large fs necromancy. *sigh* I really think a new kind of filesystem needs to be created to store backup direct blocks for every item on the drive as there is free space. So like, raid built in to the drive itself. There could even be caching speed performance tradeoffs or something in there to not do it if the machine was under heavy load but Steve Loughran (Steve_Loughran@scee.sony.co.uk) then catch up later. One is enough mostly. Anyway, This fs stuff is childs play. Think about it like kindergarden shoe cubbyholes. Or think about it like it was a swimming pool with shallow water, slightly deeper water (sludge? haha), and with the treasure on the bottom. (data recovery? or did you have to pay crazy money to make it happen?) slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [491]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group : my card--) [492]http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg (-- ;) On Fri, 8 Apr 2005, Steve Loughran wrote: SL)Date: Fri, 08 Apr 2005 17:15:11 +0100 SL)From: Steve Loughran (Steve_Loughran@scee.sony.co.uk) SL)To: slf@dreamscape.org SL)Subject: e2extract... help! SL)Hiya SL)Just found a link to your e2extract perl script. I have a screwed 480Gb SL)LVM split across to partitions (on two seperate drives) and e2fsck is SL)going nuts about something. SL) e2extract (number) SL)what is the "number" that e2extract requires as a command? inode numbers? SL)Would I need to wrap this command in a perl script to keep calling it SL)with incremenmtal inode numbers? SL)A sad and desperate email, I do agree... but so far, its the only SL)solution I have otrher than wiping it and accepting the loss SL)Many thanks for any help you can give me with this... now what Posted by [493]slf on Thu Apr 07 2005 21:36 ([494]got somethin to say?) ([495]Link) because that shit was at 8 and you were...... ..slf unless u r.... Posted by [496]slf on Thu Apr 07 2005 21:20 ([497]got somethin to say?) ([498]Link) Unless of course your Sarita. And you have my baby. And then definitely DO NOT do what I say absolutely DO NOT come out this way DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES because I miss you and my baby and I want my son to experience MY SOUL TOO! Haha. When am I going to get to see my kid anyway? What trickery is this? whatever it takes Clusin-metropcs (11:59 am): Dude ive been looking 4 work 4 a week and no one is hiring this suks Me (1:26 pm): hope ur holdin thru - check it homey: u r going there to GET the job, not to ASK for it. u gotta hustle it Me (1:28 pm): Eat a bite and chew it and swallow that shit all the way to the bank. Me (1:27 pm): Whatever it takes. No pride. No ego. No cool. Just reach out and grab dat shit and do it. find yo keys ...slf cafe cito - iguanas in san jose Posted by [499]slf on Thu Apr 07 2005 21:10 ([500]got somethin to say?) ([501]Link) All the graphite in my fingers is getting annoying. Heh. No more construction. Please. at least until sunday. Haha. Workin the beat now live at cafe cito, Iguanas in San Jose. Stop by. ..slf right out Posted by [502]slf on Thu Apr 07 2005 21:00 ([503]got somethin to say?) ([504]Link) This week has rocked, basically my weekend has just begun. I like my life. Only two things missing. Haha. ..slf they have me doing rails - better save some for later - haha - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [505]slf on Thu Apr 07 2005 12:55 ([506]got somethin to say?) ([507]Link) I love this job. Im doin rails. They kindof have this whole hyeroglyphic thing to them. Almost done now. ..slf dang that magic card is popular, im like, in circulation now. Posted by [508]slf on Wed Apr 06 2005 21:24 ([509]got somethin to say?) ([510]Link) my shit has been off the fuckin hook bloo bloo every minute for 24hrs as my magic card detector picked up my card flashing before someones eyes. Wow. I wish I had a couple actual ones made so I could wear one. Things have been going really awesome from my perspective. Im happy. I can do a whole lot more than this, believe me. Im in circulation now. ..slf how to track my card, look whos looking Posted by [511]slf on Wed Apr 06 2005 11:16 ([512]got somethin to say?) ([513]Link) -------- how to track my card.. -------- [514]http://dreamscape.org/card.php -------- how to track my card.. -------- My Card. - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [515]slf on Tue Apr 05 2005 19:43 ([516]got somethin to say?) ([517]Link) My Card. slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [518]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group goodnight - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [519]slf on Mon Apr 04 2005 00:33 ([520]got somethin to say?) ([521]Link) ..slf yo kids as seen from the booth - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [522]slf on Sun Apr 03 2005 15:59 ([523]got somethin to say?) ([524]Link) Yo kids runnin the bases, as seen from the booth. It was a good game, did you see what happened in the fifth inning? We were good luck on the park. SF whooped texas's ass. Hahahahahha. they came up on six points when we were hit and shattered a bat for democracy. ..slf wassup ladies - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [525]slf on Fri Apr 01 2005 18:54 ([526]got somethin to say?) ([527]Link) wassup ladies ..slf check me out - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [528]slf on Fri Apr 01 2005 04:42 ([529]got somethin to say?) ([530]Link) send yo emails an yo numbers to: slf@dreamscape.org ..slf keep keep it goin u aint even gonna gotta go ona ona mission. Posted by [531]slf on Fri Apr 01 2005 00:08 ([532]got somethin to say?) ([533]Link) Keep it goin drive on away u aint robbin any one 2day keep keep it goin drrriiiveeee away keep keep it goin u aint gotta fuck with me naw - aint even scared me an-y way, aint even goin on a MIsSion, aiiiiiiiint even gonna gotta go on a mISSion. ..slf I got the damn receipt man, booyakasha! Ahahaha - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [534]slf on Thu Mar 31 2005 23:57 ([535]got somethin to say?) ([536]Link) I got the damn receipt, booyakasha! Haha I got that shit. Jammin on the keys n shit.. 55 thousand button presses reflex action retroactively generated excessively radiated redirection ressurection computation insurrection. Now that I got yo attention bo bo boyakasha hahaha ..slf bloo bloo diamond style - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [537]slf on Thu Mar 31 2005 23:52 ([538]got somethin to say?) ([539]Link) Bloo bloo diamond style. ..slf u wunna wanna fuck with a geek - u know that that shit is weak - u kno u don't even gotta speak - makin stuff outta stuff is sweet - and u kno it only took me a week - and now I got shit to speak - and now u is weak - hah ha hah - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [540]slf on Thu Mar 31 2005 23:39 ([541]got somethin to say?) ([542]Link) I actually got a ticket the other day after working 36 hours and basically got a beef and potato burrito with the last dollar fourty. When I pulled onto san tomas expressway I was unwrapping my burrito and getting out of the damn lane and I wasn't even in that shit for less than a block. The dude got on too and two blocks later bliped the fucking lights bloo bloo bloo n shit sos mayday pull over no naysay / pullin my over fuckin chewin the snewper clues and / u don't even have a clue man / hatin and makin-- aint even no way man / tryin to think u kno whut u can't even read man / shakin and wishin u knew man / aint even a start on whut It may be and / I can't even progress what I say man / why u watchin me grin man / it aint like im gonna be man / u can't even understand what I say man / goin in circles until ur in trouble man / aint even tryin to pay attention man / u can't even hit the beat to progress the underground intergalactic transdimensional cooperative interactive device programmin overtakin aint even waitin to see what u can -- and even begin to say man / shakin when they know u man / hate seein for hours aint even goin to the same place man / just where do you draw the line man / u tryin to go on the - same plan / goin until the end of the equinox man / subliminally sayin t h e fir st t hing u can r u un d e e r st a n d d e in mman / t4l1n 1n d1ff3er3nt phr4s3s man / can't even write out krad in hax0r mann keep goin some time later man 5.0 can't even shake u man goin to court aint even that great - man waitin in line to get robbed man paid the damn fee - leave me the fuck alone now man - u taxxed me man - aint even that leet man - aint got the beat man - - - - man - it aint that neat - yo name aint leet - just kuz u will u neat - she aint even that sweet - she's gonna brawl u off the street - aint even had to cheat - his shit aint even leet - what the hell wuz u thinkin u freak - u didn't wanna have a baby with me ima geek - u hqcked me on up like I wuz a freak - aint even got to speak - u fucked it up this week - u aint even got to speak - u kno god damnit u fucked it up this week - typin at the speed of thumbs is leet - readin out whut im writtin down is leet - just kuz u named lee u wea u stole - u all stole repo action up ona dat shit! bloo bloo bloo hahahahahaah ..slfi what was I thinking Posted by [543]slf on Thu Mar 31 2005 23:19 ([544]got somethin to say?) ([545]Link) I actually thought she might have showed up with my kid. Its late, but what the fuck. ..slf the ESCALADE of raid controllers. - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [546]slf on Thu Mar 31 2005 13:44 ([547]got somethin to say?) ([548]Link) the ESCALADE of raid controllers...... heheheheh :) ..slf Star Wars Fan Film Festival 2005 Posted by [549]slf on Wed Mar 30 2005 16:42 ([550]got somethin to say?) ([551]Link) Awesome! [552]http://www.atomfilms.com/af/spotlight/collections/starwars/ check it! that last picture really makes me chuckle Posted by [553]slf on Wed Mar 30 2005 13:36 ([554]got somethin to say?) ([555]Link) :):):):) i really loves him slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [556]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group for u some day my lil pimp - heehee - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [557]slf on Wed Mar 30 2005 10:55 ([558]got somethin to say?) ([559]Link) for u my son some day my lil pimp ..slf F v. J, etc. (continued) Posted by [560]slf on Tue Mar 29 2005 16:12 ([561]got somethin to say?) ([562]Link) To those special someone: I think I need to swim. Whatcha think? Thanks for making March 19th special again :) [msg] I just spoke with SM, and when we got to talknig we had a difference of opinion where she began to feel threatened that I wanted her here in C County, and when I suggested that she was doing what she wanted instead of what he would want, she became very defensive and hung up on me. I proposed taking him to a ball game where she lied to be again about when she would be and when she would be leaving (when Lee said when she would be leaving), I pruposed free babysitting anytime for 1-2.5hrs in the evenings so they could see a movie and I proposed to take him to the colo, to do something signifigant, and when I began to explain to her what I wanted to do (getting him here, in C) and when we began to talk about how she was wanting him to do a thing that he was not choosing himself and that how i had fair rights, she came to a strict position and hung up on me. im worried she will not allow me my visitation mr cardona. sure, the truth is pretty unpleasant when she's running from it. it's self evident, sigh.......... I really tried to keep it to what I was offering her and what my feelings and my perspectives and opinions were, and she just kept raising her voice and i was trying to calm her down saying 'hey im at work, you can disagree with me, just please hear me out, i have a right to have involvement with my son etc etc' and she said 'no you dont' and things ended pretty oddly [/msg] F v. J, etc. (fwd) Posted by [563]slf on Tue Mar 29 2005 15:29 ([564]got somethin to say?) ([565]Link) Names changed to protect the guilty ;) slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [566]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group ---------- Forwarded message ---------- C)If you can give me details about why the visits did or did not happen, C)what is going on with communication with SM, C)your plans to visit in future, C)where you believe or know she and your son are right now, C)and your concerns, C)I can convey that info Hello. XXX C XXX, For the evening of 3/11, SM and I had left with plans to follow through with more visitation to get one more "real visit" (either with her or without her, a bigger block of time) and one "overnight". We had a pretty good understanding on 3/11 of how the remainder of the week would pan out including me in my son's communication. She was somewhat affectionate with me, confusing me and my internal thought patterns quite a lot. But she just went silent on the communication for several days, not initiating any conversation for the scheduling we had to do. We did get to speaking in the afternoon 2-3 days later. She had informed me of her plans to get "married" the day right after our birthday which I wasn't too happy about (it felt very disrespectful) -- It was great fuel to "having to make something happen by the end of the week" -- I had to make something of myself by friday. I had to make serious progress and do some serious fishing and some serious reeling. I did, sucessfully. Seeing my son was a big centerpiece for my motivations. And when we spoke on the telephone, her boyfriend quickly took the phone away from her and began yelling and screaming and harassnig me, I did not call to speak with him, and I did not like how I felt with him yelling in the presence of my child, with my child crying and sounding very discomforted in the background, he sounded very "second hand", not as important as her needs. I made efforts to try and return the conversation to keeping it simple about when I would see my son, how he was being treated, how he was being interacted with, and generally what was happening with him. My intuitions about his environment have great question marks about them. With her boyfriend threatning to "come to my house to attack me -- immediately within 15 minutes" I felt very threatened and provoked. I did not call for that, and I did not wish to participate in any actions which would cause anyone emotional duress. I did not enjoy the emotional duress I was subjected to. Friday came around, and I got a job. I really wanted to see my son, and because of the tension Lee brought onto me, and with him being my only line of communication to SM (with her not responding to email, not responding to any "pages", etc), I really did not have any idea where my son was or where he was staying or what kind of environment he was living around. The night of 3/11 (to jump back for a minute) SM's "godfather" (her Nino as she calls him) approached my car and began to yell and verbally assault me and my child, he literally came up and started yelling at SM, at me, and definitely in my child's face. I asked him to stop and I said to him that I did not appreciate him talking like that and acting like that in the presence of my child, but he said that he did not care, and he literally was screaming threats and other violent actions even when we were driving away! SM said absolutely nothing to this man about how he was acting towards all three of us! Visiting with my son in his "supposed temporary visiting residence" seemed but impossible. But we made the most of that visit, and I respected her desires to "have the most of it" for the weekend and my son fell asleep to the sound of my voice and to the sound of us talking. I really enjoyed that. I respectfully drove her home at a reasonable enough hour for her to begin the emotional duress she began to call me 2-3 days later. So to jump back to where I was in the conversation a minute ago, because I could not initiate communicate with SM, I initiated one polite phonecall to K S, her stepfather. K S called me back fairly immediately, and he secretly was trying to get alot of information out of me. You had called, and I told him that you were on the other line and that I had been looking forward to speaking with you, and I asked him if I could call him back. You and I spoke, and I attempted to call him back after the telephone call to his attitude changnig signifigantly from what had happened before. About an hour later, SM called up yelling at me alleging that I had been harassing her Mother. This was not true. I had politely called K to ask if he could get ahold of SM for me and kindly sharing my desire to spend more time with my son. Apparently he had called V S, SM's mother, which I did not know, and she had called SM, rather angrily. I do not know what the status of their relationship is. Because my son's 1st birthday was right around the corner so close to my own mother's birthday (March 26th, which is Easter), my Mother had initiated communication on her own later. Her telephone number is XXX-XXX-XXXX - I will forward/CC this message to my mother hoping that she can include her side of the story to this. But in a nutshell, my mother had previously been told by V S "So, do you want this baby? I mean, its going to come down to either we have him, or you have him" And my mother said "Well it's really up to the mother and father about that kind of thing, etc" and my mother (who is a very dignified and respectful very intelligent individual) called me up saying that she had just had this 2 hour long conversation with V and that V and K had started alleging that my mother was *harassing* SM's Mom, by merely seeking to know how her own grandson was doing! She was seeking to know a location of where to send the huge box of birthday/easter toys she was sending, and she came out feeling just as victimized as I had been by SM's family's lies and treachery and concealment, etc. I really hope she can include her perspective on those phonecalls. She was told by K and V to never call them ever again, just as I had been told by K and V never to call again, because apparently by wanting to be in Orion's life that we were "harassing them". This left both me and my mother (and my father as well) very hurt emotionally. They started to see where I was coming from with my perspective, but they were just really disgusted by the way SM's family had been treating all of us. It's not right. So I got the job on friday. My birthday was Saterday, and I was very depressed by the thought of not only not getting to see my son, but that there were *3* people who were not the mother and father of this baby keeping I the father and L the Grandmother from even hearing anything of how he was doing, no tales, no pictures, no opportunities to speak to him, or to setup something special to do for him to show him how much we loved him. I had sent many messages and requests which went unanswered, asking how he was doing, asking to send him my love and to tell my son that his father missed him very much and was thinking about him and was hoping to get to see him. I channeled my emotions through pen and paper. I wrote, and I wrote, and I wrote and wrote and wrote to myself and got it all out. I slept through my birthday on Saterday, all day, hoping to get any phonecall, any word, which never came. I was stood up, and stood up and then some. I just wanted to see my son. I did my part, and I knew that the next chapter of my life began monday morning. Many chapters left unfinished, incompleted, left without middles or endings or beginnings, too many missing pieces. I made a few good friends, good hearted people with much wisdom to share upon me, many people care about me, and many people have gone out of their way to make a positive difference in my life. Everyone on the team including people I didn't even know wanted to be there came forward to help. On monday I was told that SM had already returned to New Mexico, and I felt like I had no choice but to focus on work, so I resigned to defeat. I had called XXXXX from the Child Abduction DA's office in C (we have been staying in touch since I filed in C), and she told me that I needed "clear enforcable /readable she said/ orders" and I called you to try and get a copy of them so I could take them to the campbell police (who I also called, twice now actually abuot the same issue, and they said there is nothing they can do without an order filed. I felt really helpless about the situation)... At this time, it just felt too late. And I kept sending messages to her, asking how he was doing, asking her to send him my love and to tell her that I missed him and hoped he was doing well, asking for tidbits of information about his daily activities, pictures, anything really. I did not receive any replies all week. Completely stonewalled. I just resigned to give up, I felt there was nothing I could do. And I got through my week, and I had an excellent week. I have been dating and spending alot of time with my neighbors Clay and Bryan, who have taken me in as a cub (metaphorically) into their Families. They both have children a little older then my son. Clay has a *very amazing* son who is walking and talking, and I have so much respect for him. He really is the model example of the type of fatherhood I wished to have with my son. He spends as much time with his son every day (consistently) as much as I used to with my son. I have much to hope for knowing him and them, and much to learn, and much wisdom and experience and knowledge to draw upon and to think upon. Bryan is his cousin, and is pretty much in my shoes 3 years down the line, telling me stories of how he finally can get to have conversations with his son, and how his son doesn't really want to talk to him because of how far they have grown apart. The thought of this was very saddening to me, to see signs 200 miles up the road that I hadn't even imagined I would experience yet. I really miss the day to day experience. He and Clay helped me get my life back together, they helped build up my self esteem and I owe alot to their involvement in my recovery process getting me back into a running flying operation. Clay is *very musically inclined* and Bryan is teaching me how to flow/rap/freestyle (rounding off the edges of my colourful language)... I have been to some "open mic nights" in a very positive vibe environment that Clay is the main drummer for, and he has made great efforts to reintroduce me into the wild and to encourage me to follow my dreams and stick with my vision and direction. It's worked this far, might as well take it to the next level, communication 2.0, words 2.0, understanding 2.0, hindsight 2.0, foresight 2.0, carefulness 2.0, the whole nine yards. Amatter afact, I went to Church with Clay and his family on Sunday, and I cried. I really couldn't help myself but Cry. I felt like my son had really been taken from me and that I had done my part and through it all, all the emotions and the courage and the effort and the miracles, that she was getting away with hurting me so much. I cried because I was emotionally and verbally and psychologically very abused as a child and because that was the one and only thing I never wanted my child to be around or to have happen near him. Even after everything the court ordered, it just seemed that SM was so much smarter than all of us, and she outwitted and undermined the authority of the court, and the very basic "morsel" of paternal rights I was fairly experimenting with. I wanted to see how she would act towards me when I was more than fair, doing my part, and making appropriate efforts. I do not like how she treated this process, and my greatest fear is that if she would do these things to me, someone who she loved enough to bring life into this world with, that she would do the same to my child, or would allow the same to happen to my child and stand by and do nothing. This has brought many worsd and solutions and creative remedies into my mind, and it has called me to the point of words and action where I write to you from now. I prayed and prayed at that church to get to see my son, my tears and the witnesses and all the prayers I received and all the love and hugs and best wishes people thought at me, it really worked. Something kindof odd happened, and I remarked upon it as a blessing and an opportunity to try and muster the courage to rebuild a bridge by initiating a "shared parentage" line of communication to SM hoping to reach for news about my son. When I got out of church, standing infront of the Church, on Easter Sunday, I called to her house in New Mexico, and her grandmother picked up. She said that SM had not left Hollister/Sunnyvale [I do not have addresses or telephone numbers of either residence, I cannot send packages or call on my best manners to get any word] and that she had been here the whole time. Then I called you, and I was very stirred up. I felt lied to, again man. I was very emotional about the whole process, and everything that I had planned suddenly wasn't important and I really wanted to see my son. I tried to call over to Lee to let him know that my place was sparkling clean and that they were welcome to come over and check the place out and that I would like to see my son. I did not get a chance to speak with him as he and she ignored my telephone call until after I spoke with you via email about contacting Mr. Tiffany. I had left one SMS message a day to their phone, which to me pathetically felt as if I was begging on my knees merciful and vulnerable and fragile to see my son, and I did not get any reply and this made me very sad so I went to sleep again depressed, passing away yet another weekend without any communication. :( This morning I sent a SMS message to Lee's cellphone asking if my Son could come check out the colocation datacenter facility that I work at (in one of the biggest fibre optic intercontinetal buildings in the entire united states), and I thought it would be a very signifigant chance to show my son something that would make him in Awe and in Wonder. So many blinking lights, neat looking gidgets and gadgets and gizmos and things like that. I called him again just an hour ago and he said that he would let SM know that I called attempting to see her, letting her know what I offered, and I tried to make peace with this man. Lee said that she will be here until the weekend. I might be able to take him to a baseball game for the first time, its just a thought i havent even mentioned it, and the colo here as a visit, or a quick visit over at my house. I dont want to do anything or say anything or have anything happen that would jeapordize my line of communication with my son. I really dont want anything to do with SM's personal life, I'm over it, I was very abused by her and I have seen what she has done with my feelings and I really only care about my uncorrupted/unpolluted interaction with my son. I have alot of standards to keep up with and I have to do some things which are memorable enough for him to *remember* me, or to *remember something about me*--- this Lee fellow looks much similar to me, and for all I know, he thinks this guy is me! *sigh* *bow* I am a gentle person, I am a fair person, I am a pushover, and at some point I just have to draw the line and I have to be creative enough to come up with a solution to help people communicate and to resolve the problem and to find a solution to the problem so that they dont recontinue. I really would like to seek joint custody as soon as possible. I will be working 3pm-midnight, and would have some time during the daytime to hang out with my son and to take him places and to try and be the grandparent to him that I have become. *sigh* I am all heart and alot of people believe in me and I have really tried to make something of this. I really refer to my original statements, she has followed a pattern of concealment and abusvie hostility to my relationship with my child. I want him in my life, and I want to do it correct and the right way and I want you to help me fight in the only way I can to take this situation to the place it needs to go. I trust in your guidance in our next courses of action. I really wish we could put everything on the table, every single ace we have, every action we can take, and get to a place where we can make the responible decisions, For *him*, what *he* would want to do. Not what *she* would want to do not what *I* would want to do. The last thing in the world I would do would be to get *married*.. sheesh, that's for my son to decide, if he wants to. What would he do if he were my age, looking back on this moment? Isin't that the right thing to do? That's what being a parental guardian is about. We aren't custodians. Ya know? *bow* slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [567]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group Hey. Posted by [568]slf on Tue Mar 29 2005 13:37 ([569]got somethin to say?) ([570]Link) "Relax, everything is going to be OK." I love this slogan. nope, no thanks, i dont need that shit Posted by [571]slf on Tue Mar 29 2005 01:12 ([572]got somethin to say?) ([573]Link) Subject: /Full ride Scholarships for Oregon residents!/ Shit I dont even live there no more! haha... I'm thinkin to myself Fuck, I dont *NEED* that shit! OH-- I'll be going to school some day.... -- As a teacher, maybe in the next life, as a ghost... or a BOOK hahhahahhahahhahahha..... slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [574]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a - know your path - dsc ops research group just put the e in my initials and you got that shit! haha! all by yo cache juju magic Posted by [575]slf on Tue Mar 29 2005 01:05 ([576]got somethin to say?) ([577]Link) # this shit is so good, it'll make you people smarter practically! # literally! metaphoricly! seriously! haha! # and this shit'll save you time, it'll save you battery life, # it'll fuckin make yo hard drive last longer, # it'll fuckin save the planet energy, # it'll fuckin save you sum battery life, # this shit'll help bring about world peace, # this shit'll give you spare time... # haha... this shit'll even bring you good luck! # cache file.mp3 mpg123 -v ; cache file.txt ls ; cache file.txt ls -l function cache() { ( cacheit "$1" export ONE="$1" shift echo CACHE TARGET: $ONE echo Command: $* echo Formulated command: $* \'"/fast/$ONE"\' echo NOW EXECUTING .. echo $* "/fast/$ONE" ) } function cacheit() { ( echo CACHING "$* .." ; cp -v "$*" /fast ) } function play() { ( cp -v "$*" /fast ; cd /fast ; mpg "$*" ) } alias mkfast='mkdir -vp /fast ; echo Mounting /fast .. ; mount tmpfs /fast -t tmpfs' alias clean='rm -v /fast/*' slf@dreamscape.org [enraptured] . [578]http://dreamscape.org | 925.895.1500 : steven fountain innovating and inspiring the silicon valley : march 19th 1981 @ 12:07a know your path dsc ops research group or for the super squished everything on one line shit: function cache() { ( cacheit "$1" ; export ONE="$1" ; shift ; echo CACHE TARGET: $ONE ; echo Command: $* ; echo Formulated command: $* \'"/fast/$ONE"\' ; echo NOW EXECUTING .. ; echo ; $* "/fast/$ONE") } amen! dinner, pretty much from here on out. Sheesh haha. - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [579]slf on Mon Mar 28 2005 23:24 ([580]got somethin to say?) ([581]Link) I cook like a muthafucka now. Eggs. Beans. Rice. Pancakes. Meat. I can turn any of the above into any of the above. Haha. For reals. Mad cookin skeelz. Hackin in the other room too. Cookin 2x cookin times two n shit haha. U best be beggin for my mealz cuz they're "to die for" haha no believe me...when its all u got u put yo soul into it SOME PEOPLE wouldn't know the first thing about it ..slf clorox bleach as seen ONLY in a mans kitchen. Haha. - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [582]slf on Mon Mar 28 2005 23:20 ([583]got somethin to say?) ([584]Link) ..slf unclogging the backlog Posted by [585]slf on Mon Mar 28 2005 14:36 ([586]got somethin to say?) ([587]Link) Eek! I have to post a entry about yesterday! [more details will follow!] I went to Church. I found out my son is *STILL IN TOWN* (fuckin wow!) My house is MAD PIMPED! [clay&bryan rocked me like the ugly bitch turned into prom queen hahahahahhahahhahahaah no fuckin just kiddin, the whole damn team cleaned my house. THAT RULES! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO........... MORE TO COME! ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley [588]http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group you could my girl yo for reals Posted by [589]slf on Sun Mar 27 2005 04:34 ([590]got somethin to say?) ([591]Link) I met a really peculiar interesting person named Sandra! Also feels the draw and the pull to march 19th... This is kindof neat. She has this whole thing going for her that's kindof like Becky used to be, in my life I've met a neighbor teacher 1 street over, Sarita, this girl named Becky whos boyfriend T (omitted) was born on my birthday this one time and I asked her to make a choice between us and who she would have rather been standing with at the end of new years eve. And she chose T (omitted).. He drove all the way out there to Tahoe to pick her up. That shit says wonders. Anyway fuck Vaca(omitted)... I met up with Sarita and we had a kid and everything and I thought it was really wierd that Don had ran into another march 19th person born on 1981 as well, in Canada he said. What is it about this vernal equinox change-of-the-age birthday that seems to have so much magnetism and draw? These shoes are huge! w0w. And the peculiar thing about this girl Sandra is that she mentioned going after March 19th people too herself! hah! :) I think its really neat. And shes a knockout seriously. It inspires me to actually do things and feel artful and charming and creative and thoughtful and couragous;) Clay and Bryan were over here and worked a miracle on my house n shit, like seriously they mad pimp upgraded my living room and kitchen and bathroom - everything in this livable apartment has a warm feeling to it. everything's setup different, everything's scrubbed bleach style serious hardcore ready-for-everything eat-off-the-floor-and-not-die--clean very-geometricly-pleasing-very-artful-very-musical-very-sexy-very-creative-clean...... the winking clean! My friend's key got busted, like the thing just snapped in half and for 6$ a locksmith took the two pieces and made another for six bucks. I think I'm going to church or something today (sunday).. So its pretty late at night. but I just felt like writing. I have been really living lately. This last week felt so awesome. Everything is really on track and things have really gone somewhere. I feel so fucking connected with everyone and the culture here. I became glue because I saw the need for glue, I encouraged and connected and became glue I provided alternatives by connecting and became glue by stayin true I planted my will like a seed and it grew I started bustin at the two way mirror hittin a couple arrow keys that i knew connectin the dots feelin the mission backspacin over the words way past times two hundred thousand I got the mad packets of power now bandwidth ++ bandwidth +10 X 10! haha! packets of power!@!# groupin the phrases arrow keyin the po-tential up up enter up up enter like it was se-quential replacin werds keepin tew the beat res-ident-ial talkin shit hackin the streets in-tent-io-n'i^al linin it up shufflin it up stoppin it up startin it up keepin it up wakin it up rightin it up aimin it up firin it up tryin it up mindin it up drivin it up makin it up grinnin it up hatin it up playin it up changin it up thinkin about hittin the arrow key. up enter up enter up up up up enter up enter up-up enter up up up up enter up up enter down down right now get down down right now inventory dat shit score info change lang rest say hmm. haha. Command not found?! ESC Hrm. Nothin yet. SMS SOS AOK TCP UDP BIDIRECTIONAL SIGNAL TO NOISE FUCKIN DATA OVERLOAD IM SORRY I CANT HELP IT I LOVE IT FULL-DUPLEX MULTI-TOPICAL U-DUH-BEST abort the mission lock out the launch codes i see him! over there! hah ha hah. triangulate the other dimension intercept the datastream by hijackin the connection ninja first in first out by disconnectin the target session practice pipes and redirection stayin head of the curve direction trappin and parsin io interception inter-inter-vention makin and creatin intention auto-auto-mation movin on inventin with ex-x-treme con-cen-cen-cen-tration mad asyncronous mix it up match it up WOW works for me seq-seq-sequention livin it up rightin it up LIVIN IT UP *PRICELESS* *DIVINE* invertion I feel desired, admired, and tired. Far from retired. Lovin conspired. 134 ways to do 1043 things inspired. Got a lotta work because I'll never get fired. Seein whats required radioed radiated rarefied REFUSED REGENERATED. RECONSTITUTED - regained reheated relearned *RELIVED* REMOVED! FOUND /SOMEONE ELSES/ STEPPING RAZOR! RENDITIONED! REMODELLED REMITTED REMEMBERED REMEDIED REMARKED RELOCATED RELOADED RENOVATED RENEWED REPAIRED REPEALED REPELLED REOPENED REORDERED REPRESENTED! RESURFACED! RESTORED RESTRAINED RESTRUCTURED RESSURECTED RETOOLED RETRAINED RETOGRADE RETURNED RE-TYPED RETORTED -- RETALIATED all that good advice upgraded removal of those skel-etons STEPPING RAZOR.. she had to come correct to someone you know! RIPENED. RIPPLED. RIVALED. romanced! ROMANTICIZED! robbed roAReD RUFFLED REVERBERATED-- REVIVED wakin up from a long night until it felt right REVERED! with all the standards you are makin REVEALED with all the welcome game you aint fakin REVENGED with all the justice we gonna be takin REVISED makin sure everyone learns they less'in *wink* you could be my girl yo for reals ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley [592]http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group sigh.. Stood up at a fucking walgreens. Posted by [593]slf on Sat Mar 26 2005 05:15 ([594]got somethin to say?) ([595]Link) *sorrow* ..slf yep yep yep Posted by [596]slf on Sat Mar 26 2005 01:13 ([597]got somethin to say?) ([598]Link) ummm anychance you are having a night like mine? Muh party plans got jacked basically. Abort? Retry? Please deposit 25 cents? Ya feel me? ..slf Packets Of Power +10 Posted by [599]slf on Fri Mar 25 2005 11:46 ([600]got somethin to say?) ([601]Link) I haven't even come anywhere even close to the bw ceiling yo. --hawt damn 22 THOUSAND K A SECOND!~ ADFBHAKLSDJSJKG!$JKL@# Posted by [602]slf on Fri Mar 25 2005 11:41 ([603]got somethin to say?) ([604]Link) ASKLFAJSDKLFJASKLJ@#%@#% 22496k/s!@#!@#!@# HOLHY ADRG@QJ@# [grabs a towel!] ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley [605]http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group peekin from the coverz Posted by [606]slf on Wed Mar 23 2005 23:24 ([607]got somethin to say?) ([608]Link) Had a great day. Was kindof goin on a date tonight... Not sure how that's paning out. im uh.. I got all nice and clean and showered and good smellin and I really pulled out all the stops, and I played all these songs to psych myself up and to be charming and to do the right thing.. And I started running out of tracks. And I started thinking I was getting stood up. I went and got dinner and came home kindof vulnerable and hurt and was about to go to bed and I really wanted to get out of here.. And I get this msg with an explanation that's kew and everythin and Im about to give up and go to bed and then she's like can I come over? And then im like damnit to myself - I wasn't prepared for that. So im confessing and writing it up, and im about to just sadly call it a failed night. At least I smell good. What a punishment. Feh. You (11:09 pm): Why are you punishing yourself, wait you are a very neat person. you got my attention by your inspiring attitude towards life. Its ok not to be ok sometimes. Me (11:13 pm): Im just feeling inadequate - I wish I woulda spent the time cleaning instead of trying to psych myself up to be charming - love adventure affection laughter.... Me (11:15 pm): Everything came down to the wire and the last minute - things weren't lookin so hot. I didn't want anyone to disturb my grave - and now its embaressing here... Me (11:16 pm): I just started picking up the pieces and this place is generally kindof is a bummer. Me (11:18 pm): When a person is kicked to the ground (like me) the only thing to do is get up I guess. Its rough now - but its all good goin forward. This place sux. Me (11:19 pm): I made a home here once and it got burned down and shattered and I hide out here now in the rubble, yo. ..slf you are a boob-sucking fish-stick who loves to hug werewolves Posted by [609]slf on Wed Mar 23 2005 16:37 ([610]got somethin to say?) ([611]Link) [612]http://www.auburn.edu/~shephcd/whatyouare.html yea ;) (props pete) ode to the reign of t3h underworld bandwidth Posted by [613]slf on Wed Mar 23 2005 00:32 ([614]got somethin to say?) ([615]Link) that bandwidth is so fucking awesome. seriously. i cant get over the bandwidth. its a head trip. haha. i am literally a moral script kiddie with more bw (not mine, not here) than any person u kno hahaha.. all of a sudden. and the little devil on my shoulder wont fucking shut up. haha. i kno i cant do it, but belieeeeeeve me i took back *THOSE WORDS TOO* and I even put *MY TWIST* on it with the word *moral* hahahahahahhaa U FEEEEEEL ME? haha just kidding. no seriously. just kidding. MORAL! HAha!:) But FUCKING WOW HEHE. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley [616]http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group the dude at 7-11 and the lady at the taco shack hehe Posted by [617]slf on Mon Mar 21 2005 21:15 ([618]got somethin to say?) ([619]Link) This hella chill dood at 7-11 hooked me up, I threw out like 3.something$ on the table and I warned him I might have to downgrade that shit and he pretty much just told me to put everything on the table. I said "I came up on the house tonight!" haha and the guy seriously took my scrill, and said that was good enuph, even tho I was about a buck short. A little earlier, I said the same shit, "I came up on the house tonight!@#" with this sense of oregonian redneck enthusiasm, and then a moment went by and the lady was basically like "HaHaha! I get it! HAhaha I came up on the house tonight! Thats good!" and I was like MUA HA HA HA HA, and she hooked me up phat. Bwhaha! I came up on the house tonight for reals! Straight up. Thank you god, the system, all of it. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley [620]http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group Im out to roundup the super nachos... Posted by [621]slf on Mon Mar 21 2005 20:12 ([622]got somethin to say?) ([623]Link) I came up on 9$ through ammunition and long range ammunition (quarters nickels etc) scattered everywhere amongst the house. Now im out to get a burrito and a pack of cigarettes. I came up on the house. Mua hah ha hah. Now im gonna procure dinner. I work in a fucking bunker. Heh! Posted by [624]slf on Mon Mar 21 2005 19:37 ([625]got somethin to say?) ([626]Link) Fuckin telco Style! haha! Ya! I work in a fucking bunker. Heh! Posted by [627]slf on Mon Mar 21 2005 19:22 ([628]got somethin to say?) ([629]Link) I work in a fucking bunker. Heh! just go up there and take it Posted by [630]slf on Mon Mar 21 2005 19:03 ([631]got somethin to say?) ([632]Link) /just go up there and take it/ I seriously cant stress how cool it is to have access to mad crazy serious bandwidth. Werd up for surrendering to chi. Haha. Im actually in a secure place where I probably would live. Basically my mind is open. Imagining, suddenly like that shit executed and upgraded my systems and wrote a manual for the imagination of that shit. Poof. Here are your wildest fantasies. Check out page two. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley [633]http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group day one on the job - 12360k/sec. Hehehe! Mua ha ha ha ha Posted by [634]slf on Mon Mar 21 2005 18:45 ([635]got somethin to say?) ([636]Link) had my first day on the job. just sayin what's up. Dood! 12360k/s! 4500k/s! Univerdities don't even got nothin up on this shit. Haha! :) check it! So fscking leet. Man 100meg ethernet is slow compared to *real* shit. ..slf that shit is positive! Haha. Posted by [637]slf on Mon Mar 21 2005 18:28 ([638]got somethin to say?) ([639]Link) enrapturedagain says: Hehe how screwed do I have to be before something happens sheesh hehe enrapturedagain says: She jacked my sons first birthday and now she jacked my visitation e says: well e says: u'll get her back enrapturedagain says: With a warrant enrapturedagain says: Bringin her back on kidnappin charges enrapturedagain says: To court enrapturedagain says: For violatin the damn order enrapturedagain says: Haha enrapturedagain says: I wish e says: think positive enrapturedagain says: that shit is positive! Haha ..slf will he make it by 6 ? Posted by [640]slf on Mon Mar 21 2005 17:47 ([641]got somethin to say?) ([642]Link) Officer: My uh.... Invisible friend and I need to make it to the uh... Bank before it closes at 6...otherwise he uh...hes gonna fuckin starve! Bwahaha! Diamond cha ching!! ..slf lunch... Mmmmm-mmm! Posted by [643]slf on Mon Mar 21 2005 14:25 ([644]got somethin to say?) ([645]Link) Oh ho hoh ho! Damn that was a good meal. I have a soft spot for popeyes chicken. With the last scoopful of quarters in my pocket I got enough gas to get home most importantly and to get back here n shit, and im chillin waitin for the bday munay that I really hope is chillin at the house waitin for me. But the question on my mind is, how the fuck am I eatin tonight?! what if the banks are closed n shit? Hrm. Anyway. So this cool chick Sandra msg'd me up dis mornin- werd up girl! U rockin my mentality fo sho! life allways finds a way. So does my tummy (yours too? Heh) and so does my pocket. I got a beer or two waitin in the fridge to celebrate dat shit! Werd up for de chicken! And thoze spicy mashed potatoes n gravy! Mmmm-mmm! Hehe. ..slf I had a meeting with the three wise men. Posted by [646]slf on Sun Mar 20 2005 23:59 ([647]got somethin to say?) ([648]Link) Seriously. I think I might have a legit roommate in mind. Met with the three wise men. Werd. Things go on to ...hahaha.... I had to! Believe me! I had to! I Couldnt help it! In the span of not more than 15 seconds... And Poof. Posted by [649]slf on Sun Mar 20 2005 23:48 ([650]got somethin to say?) ([651]Link) Bandwidth Monitor 1.1.0 Iface RX(KB/sec) TX(KB/sec) Total(KB/sec) lo 0.000 0.000 0.000 sit0 0.000 0.000 0.000 eth0 983.670 38.725 1022.395 ppp0 0.000 0.000 0.000 Total 983.670 38.725 1022.395 Hit CTRL-C to end this madness. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley [652]http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group between now and april 12th at midnight Posted by [653]slf on Sun Mar 20 2005 20:50 ([654]got somethin to say?) ([655]Link) Between today (March 20th) and April 12th Mercury is gonna be Retrograde again. Who knows what will happen this time around, huh? a thought Posted by [656]slf on Sun Mar 20 2005 19:38 ([657]got somethin to say?) ([658]Link) my son will never be a mistake. But my relationship with sarita's dumb ass sure was. Come on man letz go! playin t3h jeapordy theme on my patience n shit. Haha. *wait* ..slf mackin hehe... Posted by [659]slf on Sun Mar 20 2005 19:32 ([660]got somethin to say?) ([661]Link) Werd up... I kno u gonna be sleepin with me girl wit a quickness *grin* ..slf So U wanna Sail with me, Sistah MC? Posted by [662]slf on Sun Mar 20 2005 15:57 ([663]got somethin to say?) ([664]Link) "Everytime I check my phone I got like 50 freakin messages, and I only call back the girls with the big big breasteses!" Alkoholics - The Next Level ----- werdup ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley [665]http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group Making the most of it.. Posted by [666]slf on Sun Mar 20 2005 15:38 ([667]got somethin to say?) ([668]Link) I'm just making the most of it. Basically. Can you blame me? sigh Posted by [669]slf on Sun Mar 20 2005 00:41 ([670]got somethin to say?) ([671]Link) I was asleep for the 24hrs of my birthday... and now it looks like i'm going to be asleep for the 24hrs of sarita's wedding. *sigh* I hate life. if you want to come curl/cuddle in bed with me drive to 100 union in campbell, ca & call me up. I would really appreciate somebody to hold. I feel like shit... Posted by [672]slf on Sat Mar 19 2005 17:17 ([673]got somethin to say?) ([674]Link) shitty birthday. Fuck you all. ..slf I can do better... Posted by [675]slf on Fri Mar 18 2005 22:54 ([676]got somethin to say?) ([677]Link) I can do better... ..slf goodnight Posted by [678]slf on Fri Mar 18 2005 22:53 ([679]got somethin to say?) ([680]Link) Eh who am I kidding? Im drunk enough to pass out. As I walk home and ponder the meaning of meaning..................... Until tomorrow.... Sleep tight. ..slf bwhahaha..... Got a light. - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [681]slf on Fri Mar 18 2005 22:37 ([682]got somethin to say?) ([683]Link) It would take *7* fuckin matches to light this cigarette. Bwahahhahaha.... not one or two or three.. Four? Nope five? Nope. Six? not tonight. Seven? Yo damn right. Cheers. ..slf here's to making the most of it no matter how fucked ye have been - ye CAN drink ye flask! Bwhahahaha Posted by [684]slf on Fri Mar 18 2005 22:32 ([685]got somethin to say?) ([686]Link) amen. Kudos to drunking up the empath. ..slf drinkin new castle in a guiness cup - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [687]slf on Fri Mar 18 2005 22:29 ([688]got somethin to say?) ([689]Link) Fuckin sacreliege. Bwahahhaha. Hah ha hah. Look at all that drunkenness. ..slf one 24 and 2 new castles later.... Posted by [690]slf on Fri Mar 18 2005 22:27 ([691]got somethin to say?) ([692]Link) Werd up. ..slf On the prowl. HAH HUH HAH HAH HA HAH. Posted by [693]slf on Fri Mar 18 2005 21:43 ([694]got somethin to say?) ([695]Link) Check it. Im on the prowl now, hahahahhaahahhahhahahahahahhahahahaha. WATCH OUT! ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley [696]http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group Twisting her words. Haha. Mutha FUCKA! Posted by [697]slf on Fri Mar 18 2005 21:35 ([698]got somethin to say?) ([699]Link) I only "know everything about everything" for another 2 and a half hours. HEHEHE. I found this thing, And I twisted it into it's "proper" meaning at this moment and juncture. Haha. It was written in "It doesn't matter what I do" and I twisted every statement in it to "It doesn't matter what she does" kind of crap. EAT IT. They're YOUR words anyway! It doesn't matter what she does. It doesn't matter what she's done. NOTHING is ever enough. She is too insignifigant. She is too small. She is too sick of trying. She is too quiet. She doesn't matter to him. She doesn't matter to anyone. It doesn't matter what she says. It doesn't matter what she hides. It doesn't matter if she lives. It doesn't matter if HER NEW MAN dies (haha) It doesn't matter how hard she tries. Nobody cares what she does. Nobody cares if she's here. Nobody cares if she lives or die. SHE IS NOBODY! SHE IS INSIGNIFIGANT! SHE IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH! SHE DOESNT MATTER! SHES NEVER MATTERED! NO ONE CARES HOW MUCH SHE DOES! They only see what she DOESNT DO! (HAHA) They dont CARE aout her. [true that, true that..] NOTHING IS EVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR THEM. [true that true that...] NOTHING IS EVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYBODY. [wellllll... Scary to hear you say this, I didn't twist this one. Twist twist.] SHE DOESNT MATTER! NOTHING SHE DOES MATTERS! NOTHING SHE SAYS MATTERS! NOTHING SHE FEELS MATTERS! NOTHING SHE BELIEVES MATTERS! NOTHING SHE CARES ABOUT MATTERS! [like you! HAHA, or him, unfortunately.] NOTHING SHE TRIES TO DO MATTERS! [in the end..] RESULTS DO, BUT SHE DOESNT GET THEM! [straight up! just TRY and ask yoda!] SHE DOESNT GET ANYTHING. SHE TRIES, BUT TRYING DOESNT MATTER. SHE IS NOTHING! she means NOTHING! she does NOTHING! she says NOTHING! [haha, that's my job. liberatin that shit. haha.] she feels NOTHING! [gotta have a soul and a heart first, motherfuck.] she belives WHATEVER THE FUCKING HELL SHE WANTS! [nothing? yeah right.] she doesnt care for NOTHING! she doesnt matter! THEY ALL KNOW YOU DONT MATTER! she is HOPELESSLY INSIGNIFIGANT! she is NOTHING! she DOESNT MATTER! *I* AM ANGRY! [twist that shit right on in there, a little to the right..] SHE CAN DO THIS, FUCK IT! SHE CANT DO ANYTHING! SHE CANT STOP THIS! SHE CANT *LIVE*! [you gotta KNOW HOW FIRST!] SHE CANT *DIE*! [what about all those other people who want to FUCK YOU?] shes HOPELESS! HAAHHAHA !!!!! So I talked to a shitload of people tonight. EVERYBODY's COMING OUTTA THE WOODWERKZ! WERD THE FUCK UP! CALL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 925-895-1500! ITS PARTY TIME!! HAPPY MUTHA FUCKIN BIRTHDAY, UNLESS U FUCKIN MY BABYS MAMA AND/OR WANNA FUCK MY BABYS MAMA (WHO DOESNT?) OR IF U MARRYIN MY BABYS MAMA (U DAMN MUTHAFUCKA!) AND IN THAT CASE, U DAMN MUTHA FUCKA! OTHERWISE! MUTHA FUCKIN WERD THE FUCK UP! HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA im gonna go get me some MUTHA FUCKIN FREE MUTHA FUCKIN ALCOHOL! FREE AS IN THAT COOCHIE HAS ALREADY BEEN TAPPED TOO MANY MUTHA FUCKIN TIMES. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA TAP THAT SHIT. HAHAHAA U KNO IT!@#!@$!@$ HJAHAHAHAHA damnit i dont wanna be 24! IMA GO DRINK ME ANUTHA 24! that shit even LINES UP ON THE BAR, hahaha HOLY SHIZ! WERD UP! CALL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 925-895-1500 or 831-207-9800!!!!! ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley [700]http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group the 48 laws of power Posted by [701]slf on Fri Mar 18 2005 18:09 ([702]got somethin to say?) ([703]Link) [704]http://www.tech.purdue.edu/Cgt/Courses/cgt411/covey/48_laws_of_power.htm hopefully this is the victory cig - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [705]slf on Fri Mar 18 2005 10:57 ([706]got somethin to say?) ([707]Link) It is. ..slf where it all started for me - stoppin by the old exodus building - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [708]slf on Fri Mar 18 2005 10:55 ([709]got somethin to say?) ([710]Link) ..slf me having dinner with you - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [711]slf on Thu Mar 17 2005 23:19 ([712]got somethin to say?) ([713]Link) can u pass me some napkins? ..slf I *CENSORED* Freedom - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [714]slf on Thu Mar 17 2005 20:51 ([715]got somethin to say?) ([716]Link) I just got done bumpin about 5 hours of hiphop and when it was all said and done, Hehe I said "wow, i'm surprised nobody called the cops. I was kinda hoping I would get a chance to see them tonight so I could say sounds like Mission Accomplished to me officer!" and then like somebody granted my wish and a flashlight showed up ghestapo style and I said "wow, hey, you're a little late. How you doin tonight? I was kinda hopin to see you guys and see how you were doin." and he was like "yep, it sure seems quiet now. eh you know its st. patricks day. Have a good night." yo damn right! What I want to know is: who's the snitch? I mean genie. WISHES DO COME TRUE. Bwahaha. Make a wish foundation up in here n shit. Haha. ..slf Data Center Interview - Friday 03/18/2005 - 0900 (fwd) Posted by [717]slf on Thu Mar 17 2005 16:35 ([718]got somethin to say?) ([719]Link) YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is the BEST DAY IVE HAD IN *FOREVER* YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Date: Thu, 17 Mar 2005 16:27:20 -0800 From: Pete (pete@XXXXX) To: slf (slf@dreamscape.org) Subject: Data Center Interview - Friday 03/18/2005 - 0900 Hi Steven, Our Address is: XXXX X XXXX XX, Santa Clara, Ca XXXXX My Nextel number is: XXX-XXX-XXXX Once you come to the datacenter either call my Nextel or a security guard will greet you and just tell him you're here to see 'XXXX from XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX'. Thanks, Pete -- Pete Director of Network Operations XXXXXXXXXXXXXX Hosting Corporation (XXX) XXX-XXXX x XXX pete@XXXXXXXXXXXXX.com I'm now onto my *THIRD* treo hahaha - And I have 2 lines and both are Treo600's Posted by [720]slf on Thu Mar 17 2005 14:36 ([721]got somethin to say?) ([722]Link) I used my 2nd treo SO much since Thanksgiving that it completely fucking broke. I got it replaced and primarily am using my THIRD Treo600! Hahaha! They wouldn't let me trade in both of the treo600's I had for a 650. 'doh. BUT! Now I get TWO treo's! HAHAHA! Both with Unlimited Data and BOTH with unlimited SMS messages. SO GUESS WHAT! FUCK THE NO MULTITASKING! hehehe.... NOW THERE ARE TWO OF THEM!@#!@#!@#!@#!#$!#$@%!#$(*%!(#*$)*%!()#% HAHAHAH! So I can have one online like FUCKING ALL THE TIME BWHAHAHHA and one to make voice calls on. FRIGGING SWEET! ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley [723]http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group ONE-OF-A-KIND ENG/ARCH *chucks dynamite in the water* Here fishy fishy Posted by [724]slf on Thu Mar 17 2005 06:15 ([725]got somethin to say?) ([726]Link) Bayarea Startups - YOU LIKE ME I LIKE YOU *chucks dynamite in the water* Here fishy fishy... You need me like caffeine and nutrasweet. Seriously, I miss the startup life. I have a set of once in a lifetime you-had-to-be-there experiences, spanning some of the bay area's hottest startup tickets and ventures. [hotmail, napster, excite@home, dvdstation, infoblox] I really miss Startup life. I really miss working in general, quite frankly. And i'm tired of waiting around for it to happen. I *make* waves, I *ride* waves, I *surf* * I *reduce* waves, I *LIVE* for change. So please, Check out my resume at dreamscape.org/steven-fountain.doc and give me a call. You can pay me peanuts and mountain dew. You can chain me up in your cage at Exodus/Abovenet/etcyadayda just like Napster did and I will *LIVE* your systems needs. I will defend your ship. I wont let your ship sink. NEVER AGAIN - I will grab that wheel and steer your ship if things get that dire, I will *lead* I will *create* I will *educate* I will *train* I will *LISTEN* I will *ENCOURAGE* I will *MOTIVATE* and I will *INSPIRE* I am a systems administrator who became a systems programmer who became a systems architect who started doing this thing which became evangelism out of a necessity to survive. How many people can you say have had billion dollar labratories, or hundreds of millions of users, or who got the attention of the ENTIRE WORLD? Come on, lets get to it. Come here spider, I wont eat you. Come here spider, have a seat, I know you know wassup. Today is ALLWAYS a good day to CHANGE THE WORLD! THEY LIKE ME HAH HA HAH. *chucks some dynamite in the water* Consider my line cast into yo pond, here fishy fishy. WHOZ WITH ME? lets scoop these fish up and go gut that shit. This is a chance to shine in my eyes forever. I will move heaven and earth for your company. Seriously. I will perform miracle engineering. Frequently. Constantly. I will write more tools than you'll know what to do with. I'll put on my miracle hat and get to work. It's that simple. Let's do this. So call me while I've got your attention at (925)895-1500 and let's make it happen effectively in one phonecall. I will give you some *very* prestigious references and you will call them. Then you will send me the offer letter, and we'll focus on the future by being mindful of the past while paying attention to the present. I'll eat and sleep your vision and cause, and add my shares. I am ideally looking to *own* shares - At least one. That's a good start. reasons for doing all of this my baby boy - i am a single father my love of technology (ASAP!)(ASAP!)(ASAP!)(ASAP!)(ASAP!)(ASAP!)(ASAP!)(ASAP!) (IMMEDIATE!)(IMMEDIATE!)(IMMEDIATE!)(IMMEDIATE!)(IMMEDIATE!) (ASAP!)(ASAP!)(ASAP!)(ASAP!)(ASAP!)(ASAP!)(ASAP!)(ASAP!) (IMMEDIATE!)(IMMEDIATE!)(IMMEDIATE!)(IMMEDIATE!)(IMMEDIATE!) Steven L. Fountain slf@dreamscape.org 925-895-1500 (cell) Campbell, CA 95008 [727]http://dreamscape.org/steven-fountain.doc -- This is the Microsoft Word version of my resume [728]http://dreamscape.org/steven-fountain.txt -- ascii variant objectives Primary objective: seeking full time Sr. Enterprise Architecture / Engineering role (research and development, milestone oriented, project/dept. lead) in a campus enterprise or greater environment. Secondary objectives: seeking part time or full time UNIX R&D role, UNIX System Administration role, System Security or Network Security role, Programmer-for-hire role, or any role working with new or fun technology. companies Infoblox DVDStation Excite@Home Napster Cellmania MSN Hotmail work experience Infoblox, DNS/DHCP Quality Engineer 2004 Designed 3 enterprise class products in 1 months Enterprise Class time. Wrote the most advanced DHCP simulator Multi-threaded Perl ever imagined and the most advanced DNS load Programing, DNS, DHCP, generator ever imagined utilizing expert level Test Harnesses, API Multithreaded Perl programming techniques. Also Configurations, Tool created several families of procedural languages Programming, Root and shells interfacing with the API. Designed Cause Analysis from a many tests used in the Infoblox test harness to QA perspective, ongoingly automate root cause analysis of daily Critical Path R&D, builds. Functionality tests, Stress tests, Linux, Release Performance tests, Cluster stress & performance Engineering, Process tests. Engineering, Packet Level Hacking, Extreme Engineering Sharechive, Sr. System Architect 2004 Senior contributor towards the development of Sharechive's wireless solution for the civil Perl, CDPD, Linux, engineering and industrial construction sector. Wireless, Low-Bandwidth This n-tier Java-based application synchronizes DB Synchronization construction documents such as design drawings, Release Deployment, project journals between a central database and Postgres, multiple small stand-alone databases residing on Complex Net. Inst., rugged tablet computers in the field. Automation, Patching, Synchronization is achieved with a wireless CDPD R&D platform. User interface is provided with Flash, PHP and Linux/Mozilla. This is a company with a high pace of development, short release cycles, quickly changing requirements, and extremely demanding clients DVDStation, System Architect 2003 See for yourself what I've had my hand in for Perl!***, Linux***, UNIX the past year, go to the Sony Metreon and see Internals, Embedded the flagship demonstration! I helped found the Hardware, Solid Turn-key company in the beginning, and returned a second Kiosks***, Secure POS time to re-engineer the XP kiosks in a Linux Terminals***, Barcode fashion. I have been responsible for the Scanners, Smart-Card majority of DVDStation's backend architecture. Readers, Mag-Swipe Card I have pushed the limits of Linux to do things Readers, Thermal Receipt it has never before been observed to do. Printers, Touchscreen Monitors, Homebrewed In-Browser Media Control***, Homebrewed Attract-Loop Media Control***, Homebrewed Kiosk Control*** (XPCOM Utilizing Client-Side Javascript Local Non-Server CGI) DSC Ops Research Group - Programming, Open Source 2002 - 2003 (ongoing) Development Wrote one hundred and thirty eight unix commands. see the code! (138!) This works out to about 592 pages of code. That's one a day for about half a year. Most written under the Artistic License. Some of these programs tackle hard problems such as extreme filesystem co rruption disaster recovery, automating text mode gnutella, extending the unix environment for complex data analysis, building unix systems, securing unix systems, monitoring unix systems, writing robots to fetch and prepare information, fitting a full uni x environment and a full working perl on a single 1.44m floppy, and much more. I invite you to take a look at http://dreamscape.org/code.. Excite@Home, Systems Architect, Server 2001-2002 Engineering & Capacity Planning Group Performed on-going requirement analysis and Perl, Sun Enterprise negotiations with vendors and senior management 4500's, Sun Enterprise for build process reconstruction project which 420's, Sun Enterprise became core foundation for new Solaris Rapid 220's, Sun Ultra 5's, Deployment Architecture. Built test harness for Sun Netra T1/X1's, A1000 server builds and debug ged the harness & D1000 Storage, EMC continuously as new hardware and software Symmetrix 8430 (Direct support were tested and automated for Attach), EMC Connectrix, inclusion. Leader of the Rapid Deployment EMC SAN (Over 600TB re-Engineering project, also initially served storage on 60 nodes), as a participant of the HA evaluation project. EMC Agents (PowerPath Extreme exposure to auto mation techniques and the like), JNI deploying a storage area network. Hostbus Adapter Configuration, Patches, * Of note: Primary contributor of design of one Massive Patchsets, of the worlds largest storage area network Openwave, Oracle, mailstore architecture. Major contributor to Veritas, Homegrown HA design of one of the worlds largest openwave Software, Tivoli, EEPROM installation s worldwide. Team lead of of Programming, CVS, RCS, completed rapid deployment engine and build GigE Adapter process re-engineering project, primary Configuration, Solaris contributor to codebase, (jumpstart Security Lockdowns, architecture, outscaled AT&T's proprietary Solaris Performance designs) in a campus metropolitan enterprise Tuning, Build Servers, Solaris environmen t. Top to bottom covering Automation, Clustering, fully automated builds of 4500s, 420r's and Rapid Deployment, Root netra t1 machinetypes for an unlimited number Cause Analysis, Mail of host application or configuration types, all Servers, News Servers with the same trusted core os, same security routines and audit logs, same lockdowns and pa tches and logs of such for verification, same firmware upgrades, and full storage building and volume creation and application installation and monitoring installation and failover software installation. I have personally debugged over 2000+ of these netb oots.) Programming Sabbatical: They didn't let me stop programming perl the entire time I was here! - installing core system architecture - performing first-pass security lockdowns - applying patchsets of 100 or more patches - in stalling veritas filesystem and volume manager and automaticly plugging in licensing information - installing optional hardware (gige cards, JNI cards) - building a1000 volumes creating RAID arrays - joining arbitrated loop SAN direct attac h storage and presenting the storage - joining SAN switched fabric and presenting storage - installing openwave, a powerful enterprise mail suite. - installing oracle, optimizing system to perform well with oracle. - installing homegro wn HA tools - installing tivoli - installing and activating EMC agents and tools, with licensing (such as powerpath, timefinder..) - performing automated EEPROM firmware upgrades and reprogramming. - performing second-pass repatch of m achine - reported build checkoff sheet via email to authorative group. - Provided architecture capable of self replicating itself to other build servers via CVS checkouts. Napster, The First Sysadmin, Sr. Technical 2000 Operations Duties/Projects included: Linux, Perl, On Call - - Responsible for frontend webservers First Responder, System & (www,infringe,artist,dl,ticket,bugs,etc) Site Security, Capacity - Proprietary webserver performance research, Planning, Site Growth, design and implementation. Monitoring Software, - Ticketing system design, development and Build Software, implementation. Datacenter Contract - Monitoring application design, development Management, Apache, and implementation. thttpd, Oracle on Linux, - Release engineering tool design, development Sendmail, POP/IMAP, DHCP, and implementation. Office Move/Migration, - Logging scheme design, development and Root Cause Analysis, implementation. Product Advocacy - Datacenter planning and design for current gene ration repair and next-gen roll-out. - Responsible for capacity planning. - System buildouts for all production machines. - Unexpected system event reactive repair. (on-call 24x7 as First Responder) - Data-mining tool design, dev & imp lementation. - Generating reports using homebrewed data-mining tools. Cellmania.com Inc., Director of Technical 1999 - 2000 Operations Duties included: Perl, Linux, Solaris, Direct inter-communication with all executive Root Cause Analysis, Sun level staff Enterprise 4500's, Sun Project Management Enterprise 420's, Sun Managing & actively leading the following Ultra 5's, Oracle, departments: Broadvision, Netscape - Network Engineering (routers, switches, Enterprise Server, firewalls, load balancing) Apache, XML, Sendmail, - Network Securit y (all) POP/IMAP, QA, Manager, - Frontend Administration (webservers, mail) Cisco Routers, Cisco - Backend Administration (databases, etc) Switches, Netscreen - Local/Production Monitoring (system health, Firewalls, Netw ork network performance) Drops (Patchpanels), - 24x7x52 On-call support teams (rotations, USE Sitewide write-ups) Troubleshooting, Build - Meshed fully redundant site infastructure Software, Ticketing design/layout (from the ground up...) Software, Reporting - Presales Engineering (working closely with Software, Monitoring marketing, providing stats & tools) Software, Veritas - Tool Development (process engineering, intranet layout, monitoring, etc) Completed projects: - Designed and implemented all monitoring tools, developed and customized to implement universal IS/OOS (in service, out of service) test procedures, layered escalations of notification and action, including proactive reactive and critical reactive automatic maintenance and recovery, usage tailored for both administrators and NOC facilities, also implemented features to integrate monitoring tools with NOC ticketing systems providing trouble trending analysis. - Designed and implemented all jump start/kickstart clients and servers to facilitate automatic replication of new servers, with design detail extensively focused on server duty profiling, creating a highly scalable method of bringing exceedingly large clusters online in a matter of hours ( also allowing seamless patching and upgrading of services and tools acrost a large distributed infastructure) - Designed and implemented all development release tools using a similar file replication method stated above, facilitating a seamless Dev - > QA cluster -> Beta Release cluster -> Production release structure and policy. - Designed and implemented all data-mining tools including: system log anomoly combing; network traffic analysis; and general statistical analysis, with integrated hooks and ties to pass relevant information to: NOC facilities; system administrators; and marketing departments in the form of alerts and/or generated recurring reports. - Designed and implemented all network gear/layout, optimized to provide maximum per formance within a fully redundant meshed topology, with the ability to accomidate under 10 millisecond failover of all network devices and peripherals, insuring that all systems provide the highest level of network availability possible. - Designed a nd implemented all systems gear/layout, optimized to provide maximum performance and availability of rendered services to facilitate turn key clustering functionality, utilizing fully redundant components such as CPUs, RAID disk arrays, solid state RAID a ccelerators, and fast ethernet channeling, thus additionally accelerating system output/performance in a fault tolerant system. - Designed and implemented all backup procedures in a 100% duty cycle, worked extensively with veritas filesystem modules designed to pull memory-resident information from Oracle databases. MSN Hotmail (Microsoft), Solaris Admin, Sr. 1999 Backend Group The world leader in web-based email. Solaris, Perl, Sun Enterprise 4500's, Sun Duties included: Enterprise 3000's, Sun - 24x7 On call support / troubleshooting / Ultra 5's, Legato, maint. Veritas, Very Large RAID - Day to Day support / troubleshooting / Arrays, Maintenance and maint. Disaster Recovery, On - Symplicity Raid Configurations / Setup call support, Qualstor - RAID / Veritas Perf ormance Tuning Tape Libraries, Backend - Veritas Configurations / Setup Server Growth & Manual - Veritas VXLD Accleration R&D Buildout, Linux - RMA Request Handling / Processing. - Maintenance window scheduling / action. - Legato backup monitoring - Legato backup mainte nance - Legato configurations - Legato tape recycling automation (Process Engineering) - Legato report automation (Process Engineering) - Personnel Training (Within group, and with our NOC) - Hardware Inventory / In dexing - Cluster build planning / Site engineering. - Cluster retirement planning / Site engineering. - Mission critical server/data migrations - Server Side Security - Keystone Management (Process Engineering) - Interoffice Personnel Communication Design (Process Engineering) - Network Analysis via SNMP - Web based CGI tool design. (Process Engineering) - Large-scale user simulation Design (Process Engineering) - Large Scale DNS planning and theory - DNS Mentoring/Advising for Networking group. - Shell scripting to automate/assist day to day tasks. (Proc Eng) - Jumpstart/Kickstart server design assistance. (Proc Eng) I was on call 1 week per mo nth or more as a first responder for Hotmail's Solaris backend. MSN Hotmail (Microsoft), NOC Technican, Network 1998 - 1999 Operations ** Promoted to Sr. Backend group Febuary 1st Solaris, Linux, Cisco, 1999. ** Unexpected System Event My job with Hotmail Corporation during this Response & Coordination, period of time was a rather intresting one. I Tool Development, Site helped out nearly every department within the wide health monitoring, company, and strived to devote all of my tim e Frontend System Builds, to representing myself as a highly resourceful Usability Testing and helpful individual. I assisted the following roles: - Network Engineering (SNMP Traffic Statistics, Misc installation assistance, etc.) - Unix Systems Administration (Misc dept s, offering suggestions, simplification ideas, etc.) - SNMP Tool Development (See Neteng) - Traffic Analysis (See Neteng) - Network Monitoring - Tool Development (Aided in the development of dozens and dozens of web utiliti es) - Department Liaison (In the event of critical failures, I helped organize and keep things moving.) - Network Security (Coaching for anyone who would listen. ;)) Also have aided in finding responsible parties for attacks.) Kewl Ltd, Dynamic Solutions Provider 1998 Duties included providing computing solutions Customer Interaction, for small to mid-sized industrial and Troubleshooting Servers non-industrial businesses in the San Juan & Desktops, Equipment Bautista, Hollister, Monterey, and Gilroy Purchasing and Setup, On areas. On call work & plenty of travel. call support. Mail Troubleshooted office computing problems and pu server troubleshooting, rchased hardware for clients. Linux, Microsoft Windows. Europa Communications, Dynamic Solutions 1998 Provider Consulted with Europa (a large ISP in the PDX Customer Interaction, area.) to provide top level security for all Troubleshooting Provided internal networks. Also assisted in misc Services, Security, trouble shooting and support calls. Linux, SunOS/Solaris, Cisco Equipment, Pairgain DSL Equipment E-Z/AUSNet Services, UNIX Systems Administrator 1997 Duties included tool design for POP (Point of Linux, Cisco, Presence) usage/monitoring/administration, name Livingston Portmasters, server administration (bind 4.9.x & 8.1.x) and Mail, News, Shell misc. trouble shooting. Servers Portland Community College, Lab Manager 1997 Duties included tutoring Unix and CIS students, Student Interaction, checking students in and out on a large student Enforcing Campus usage usage database, opening and closing the labs, Policy, Windows Desktop and managing two labs independently. Support, Linux, Lab Administration Northwest Openaccess, UNIX Systems Administrator 1994 - 1997 Provided optimizations and maintenance tasks to Linux, Security, better the UNIX network. Delivered supporting Livingston Portmasters, architecture for PDXNET dialup customers with Scalability and Service multiple points of presence. Growth Man this is like an invasion n shit. Posted by [729]slf on Thu Mar 17 2005 00:38 ([730]got somethin to say?) ([731]Link) Werd. I know for a fact I wont be wearing green today, HOW ABOUT YOU? Posted by [732]slf on Thu Mar 17 2005 00:17 ([733]got somethin to say?) ([734]Link) Coochie coo! Muwahhaha. Come here spider, I wont eat you. Have a seat, Spider. I wont eat you. What up, San Jose. Posted by [735]slf on Thu Mar 17 2005 00:03 ([736]got somethin to say?) ([737]Link) Theres just TOO MUCH CLICKING. Nobodys awake when I'm awake. SHHHHH, They're sleeping. I'm not *TRYING* to be reptilian, everybody just had a REALLY LONG DAY. Have a Seat, Spider. I won't eat you. Invisible friends make tasty snacks, ask Pac Man. Nom Nom Nom *CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP as I walk outside for a cigarette* ... The ghetto goes all the way to the top TWO, brotha. Might only be two, but BELIEVE ME it's up there. THEY LIKE ME HAH HA HAH. *chucks some dynamite in the water* Consider my line cast into yo pond, here fishy fishy. WHOZ WITH ME? lets scoop these fish up and go gut that shit. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley [738]http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group I know for a fact I wont be wearing green today, WHAT ABOUT YOU? Coochie coo. Muwahhaha. Theres just TOO MUCH CLICKING. Nobodys awake when I'm awake. SHHHHH, They're sleeping. THEY LIKE ME HAH HA HAH. Come here spider, I wont eat you. Have a seat, Spider. I wont eat you. ugh Posted by [739]slf on Wed Mar 16 2005 21:24 ([740]got somethin to say?) ([741]Link) im not feeling very good :( i feel really sick physically and spiritually What I Want To Know Is (sarcastic humility&|humor disclaimer) - credits to yapc's perl6 movie - its fair use cuz i made his left leg into cargo pants and removed the 2nd line:) check it out. hehe. Posted by [742]slf on Wed Mar 16 2005 05:20 ([743]got somethin to say?) ([744]Link) i just walked over to bascom and then up to san tomas aquino and then over to campbell ave and then all the way to campbell through campbell over to muh pad, sheesh Posted by [745]slf on Wed Mar 16 2005 00:19 ([746]got somethin to say?) ([747]Link) Im just walking and walking and walkin north on bascom.... Walked the entire perimeter of campbell/saratoga... Still walkin.. Beats sobbing uncontrollably. Maybe someone will hold me :( Nah. Good exercise though, literally and metaphorically and tactically. sigh continued Posted by [748]slf on Tue Mar 15 2005 20:57 ([749]got somethin to say?) ([750]Link) i said this once to berra along time ago, and im gonna say it again now because its kindof relevant to me. im like a water pump / water filter. if u put really really good clean water in me great you'll get your mileage, if u put pond water in me, eh, sure, i can probably clean it to a finite point. but im probably gonna need to be changed and cleaned at some point sooner than later, but what if its toxic sludge, and from now on the pool's poisonous and from now on the pool is leaking and has toxic fumes wafing out of it? or maybe mud perhaps and the buildup will clog the pump and the drains or just turn half the pond into a mudbath filled with poop smelling mud and bacteria and shit. who gives a shit about the stupid diamonds at the bottom of the pond, they arent worth *anything* anymore now that people can just grow them and they're findin them on the streats n shit, fuck, im stuck in the middle of this pool and im drowning and i feel my skin dissolving and my limbs ripping open and my face ripping off and i smell fumes of sludge and piss and chlorine, and the mud gets stuck in my boots, and pulls me to the bottom of the pool, where i become a statue with those diamonds, right next to those silver coins, right next to those pennies. on through to those bottlecaps and those pins and the lint i taste like now. so do with me what you will, *CRY* (i really like having willpower *churning in my stomach*) what the fuck did i ever do to you man, how the fuck could you :( i was a good person, you never even got to know me before you hurt me like this :( you were on a mission to assassinate me and had already poisoned my water before it was too late. just how could you all, its the people who are hurt in my position who are the real good people, the fair leaders, the honest governors, the kind dictators, its too bad you allways hang us up on crosses and burn us at the stake or behead us or kick the stool and noose us. i cant believe i got witchhunted and persecuted and i cant believe i didnt have anybody here to get my back, as if that was moving heaven and fucking earth just to make it happen. please, if you can offer me a solution that i have not thought of, or a sure deal, or something that will give me hope which wont be an illusion too, i mean, like the kind of hope that leaves a taste in your mouth like cigarettes and never goes away. im running out of turns and theres not much more room for all these nails as tears well up in my eyes as i grudgingly walk up to my door, i sigh, afraid to laugh at myself this time, i sigh, afraid to cry - afraid to show weakness for the surelty it would kill me this one time. Posted by [751]slf on Tue Mar 15 2005 20:45 ([752]got somethin to say?) ([753]Link) nobodys ever really hurt me like this. im really sad. i'll tell you about it but you arent here. sigh writing things like that just bring it out, man i have such a wall of water pent up in these eyes. :( fuck too late. theres goes one tear. i cant even help it. im not sobbing or anything, im just crying. oh no wait, now i got the sobbing going on. and they burn my eyes :( i want to be at least 1/10th of what i used to be :( everything i've ever dreamed for is there all right, and i got to taste it all right, but damnit. i just feel so helpless. i really am punishing myself - i dont know why really either, i just dont want to bring myself to move anything, i dont want to bring myself to pick up after anything, i dont even have fucking toilet paper. seriously the only thing that keeps me going is that i occasionally find things to escape into for moments at a time. but its allways there. those tears are allways there. and i couldnt cry them in the car with her :( and ive been really strong and im not a pussy and i never was, i had everything i wanted and everything i needed in one place. and part of me still wants it to be like that. im just so close to fuckin rock bottom again. im so tired of this. more than anything i just want to end the struggle. it hurts me more than anything that i know im a reasonably attractive person and im terrified of people, im afraid to go around people, im even more afraid to stay around people, im afraid to get to know people, im afraid to look at people..... the tear button's pretty much been on. and now that they're flowing i still feel as shitty as i did before they started flowin'. so what fucking good is that anyway. i wanted to have a roommate but now im just perfectly clear that im uncapable of being around people :( everyone moved away, everyone betrayed me, everyone sentimentally artisticly creatively hurt me, took something from me, one hoodie at a time. -- man, you know theres something fucked up when a grown successful man cries and cant leave his own house and is at the mercy of those who would take pity on him. i know im not what you want to be hearing right now. i gotta be a man. i gotta deal with my own problems. but how? here we are again at the 15th of the month and im psychologically so hurt right now, and im emotionally so hurt right now, im psychicly pretty much on the brink of dying, my soul is mixed with these chaotic clouds of sadness and regret and remourse and depression like ive never *ever* felt before. i guess there was just something extra about her and about him. im just all ive got, and im not good enough. the only person i talk to is myself. the only person who really goes the extra mile is myself. and i cant give myself the things i need and want. i dont deserve them. i feel like i deserve to die and i feel like thats what people want of me. im stuck here in this grave and im hungry and im thirsty and its a hundred and sixty degrees outside and i just got left here to rot and die. so fuck you all pretty much. *sniffle* i dont want to be around anybody anyway, its too late for that :( i guess i cant lie to myself and pretend that she ever loved me. :( that hurts too :( the thought of him and her laughing at me makes me want to cry immediately. the thought of just everything shes ever done to me heaped into one huge list breaks me up inside. i really was there for so many people in my life, and i really gave people the shirt off my back, and now im naked in this grave too. i just feel pitiful fuckin sobbin and shit, sittin here crying in my living room, talking to myself because theres nothing else to do, nobody to call without hurting them or bringing them down, nobody to cheer me up without me taking a huge financial loss. shit the other night i went out, i mean i really had a good night, but it was so fragile in my mind. i got so angry just to try and feel anything but how she hurt me. i got hella kicked when i was down. i got hella kicked royally like a steel toed boot through a concrete wall completely through the kneecaps shattering the leg all the way until i was crippled, in a wheelchair, with no legs, no arms, no hands, no fingers, no keys - just a vegetable. here waiting for the police to come damn near to tell me to get the fuck out of my house because i didnt pay my awesome landlady the rent. the pressure of having to make it or break it by friday is really too much for me :( my soul has a huge rip in it, afraid to be me again, afraid to be anything to anyone, bah, your probably like booo booo hoo, nobodys gonna want to see u like this. YEAH well im in that list too ok? :( im being real, im not lyin to nobody, im not concealin nothin to nobody, theres NOBODY HERE BUT ME AND THIS STUPID MIRROR! yeah, its not like anybody's coming over here. i have no tv, i have very limited internet access, i have no movies, all my music feels way fucking off right now and i just feel like i have no creative outlet for my work. ive said too much in too little time..... fuck... its just like, things could have gone so differently than this. what the fuck did i ever deserve to have something that was so sacred and so special and so wonderful turned into something that was so repulsively despicible and so creepy and so sacreliege...... its like, i really feel that im forsaken. im tired of talking on the phone, im incapable of going out anywhere. and even if i did have the money to go out somewhere id be so horrified like rape victim battered househusband that id shiver at the thought of being on my own all by myself. like im doing right now. i just wish i didnt have to carry this burden alone. nobodys gonna believe that a dude whos sobbing and bitching and ranting his heart out like this has confidence. if u saw my body posture right now u would see me flinch pretty much with every single change that happens in my environment, u would think someone threatened to hit me so many times that i allways expected them to hit me, literally. this just sucks. i really cant due it justice i mean i got this far.... how could i possibly have deserved this level of cruelty ? i want to be held really bad :( i want someone to run their fingers through my hair and i want them to tell me that its ok. i want someone to take my pain away, and to make me not hurt like this, i want someone to make me not feel like a monster:( on this couch :( in that bed :( this house has not known warmth in a very long time. i miss the smell of a girl who uses good shampoo, and i miss feeling like somebody cared about me. and i really miss feeling like somebody loved me. that one hurts the most. i gotta go. the triple cheeseburger - thank u so much Posted by [754]slf on Tue Mar 15 2005 19:47 ([755]got somethin to say?) ([756]Link) I hadn't really been feeling very good - finally scrounged up enough money to get somethin to eat. I have been eating one meal a day alittle too much. Woah. Bloodsugar. Check it out. Im not anorexic, I just can't afford my appetite. :( low energy is a pain in the ass. ..slf will hack for food - CALL FOR RECRUITMENT (ASAP!) Posted by [757]slf on Tue Mar 15 2005 11:05 ([758]got somethin to say?) ([759]Link) [760]http://www.craigslist.org/sby/res/63890494.html This is a chance to shine in my eyes forever. I will move heaven and earth for your company. Seriously. I will perform miracle engineering. Frequently. Constantly. I will write more tools than you'll know what to do with. I'll put on my miracle hat and get to work. It's that simple. Let's do this. So call me while I've got your attention at (925)895-1500 and let's make it happen effectively in one phonecall. I will give you some *very* prestigious references and you will call them. Then you will send me the offer letter, and we'll focus on the future by being mindful of the past while paying attention to the present. I'll eat and sleep your vision and cause, and add my shares. I am ideally looking to *own* shares - At least one. That's a good start. Let's *BOTH* get rich by making *all our other shareholders rich* as a team! There's alot of business to be getting to! "beanie: What about Mitch here? He saw the wheels come off his life, guys. His whole world crumbled. Now he's the Godfather. " ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley [761]http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group ok - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [762]slf on Tue Mar 15 2005 04:00 ([763]got somethin to say?) ([764]Link) ..slf Sarita: I moved on. ....to you being a dumbass! HAHAHAHHAHAH (...shit!! HAHA:)...) Posted by [765]slf on Mon Mar 14 2005 22:40 ([766]got somethin to say?) ([767]Link) Now the question on my mind is, after everything, who showed who? Isin't it USUALLY who showed who, no matter what? ...in the end? Such peace this thought brings me in the balance of all things. ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Mon, 14 Mar 2005 22:20:59 -0800 (PST) From: slf To: don Subject: 411: Hey there, partner. Seems like you and me got somethin in common now. Just like R. Just like W. Well, she's getting married on sunday to this new guy "WZZZiam sLeeZ somethingsomethingRITTIN*cough*nyugen*cough*LYTTON*cough*LITTON*cough* dum dum uh... Eh, it doesn't really matter anyway. Hahhahhaahahahahhahhahhaha. The depth to my laughter right now is amazing. I worked so many miracles today Don. Its so fucking Awesome. Fuck her. In one day, I changed the world. I changed reality. I completely *SET UP* the complete and total failure of what they did, only it's gonna take awhile. And in that instant, I secured a future where I stole my son RIGHT BACK WHERE HES SUPPOSED TO BE, because quite frankly *I* personally will never marry another woman so long as I live, and *I* will let __MY SON__ decide if I'm supposed to marry. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAH and you know what, Dude, I really gotta paste you the rant I wrote today. MAN I really would befriend u as a homey now dawg, seriously. We should be friends again actively for life yo. There is much to do. Us all being secret agents for change and whatnot. Yakno? Heh. So anyway, "Burn" by trent reznor, "Ringfinger" by trent reznor, "Big Shot" by Eyedea (freestyle), and "Punk Police" by Mac Dre. Hahahahahahha Straight up. So seriously, Dre is moving into my house. Not the dead Mac Dre. And not the entourage of one muthafucka himself. Just kidding. No really. He's not me. And he's not Slim Shady's righthand mand either. Hahaha. I have so much credibility and weight to my words and venom in my words and so many programs and so many viruses and big rocks of crack and fuckin nutrasweet and shit and shit like fuckin rat poison and shit like the cure fo' my disease, might have like, some empowerment in it n shit, pure bliss, fuckin like... enlightenment and wisdom. woah man. new shit has come to light. HAQHHAHAHAHAH straight up! (see im from the heart still, typos and everything)... ok check this out dood. got a minute or two from here on out? my # is 925-895-1500 sms 2 the same unlimitedly ... aim @ enrapturedagain (on the belt) lif e at uh.... like... http://dreamscape.org/swim/ tri b es at like.. heheh... http://sanfrancisco.tribe.net/person/be145a8a-92e5-4a62-8b3c-378fe0c459e3?r=10535 and w it h out f urthe r adieu!@# [:):):):) hidden secrets in secrets in secrets next to secrets FUCKING ROCK!] hey think back ok -- remember how cool fuck.wav was? f' this f' that etc. I Finally mastered that shit. Seriously man. No door no gate no lock no key no vault no fortress no citadel shal ever be denied now dawg. I gotta be a denzel washington completion of training day muthafucka now dawg. My words seriously are programs. And I can exploit the veil for all it's worth. See through everything, See outside of everything, Find anything, Go anywhere, Go everywhere, and go in the right direction ;) And I even figured out how to pull other people where they're supposed to go. So man. I really gotta know. Did you set me and her up? I'll never tell her, OK. This is the 7th anniversary of me being in california, and I'm about to be 24. I really have the options open on the table about work and what to do and what ideas to invent and what to write and what to make and what to hack up with duct tape and what to make outta what, etc. Hehe. Damn. Its like the jedi mind trick. Rambling with word chains and then like goin these r not the dr01dz u r l00k1ng f0r. Hehe. So call me, and peep http://dreamscape.org/swim/ and fuckin stay in touch man, cause I think you are the first person that I want to have as my friend. Believe me man, I really got what came to me. And its just fuckin funny. I am sincerely sorry from the bottom of my heart and the depths of my soul. Ok? But I find myself looking at Sarita now, thinking what a fucking dumbass she is, all because she couldn't look at herself in the mirror. And suddenly I've got all these new skills and all these new abilities and all these new pairs of eyes n shit, and I've got the perfect story to tell the people who owe me money, and the people who wrote me off, and the people I'd like to work for, and shit, all this fuckin bullshit has made me *really* *REALLY* *REALLY* ok with myself and it's made so many thousands of people enlightened and wise and it's made all this fuckin amazing shit happen dawg. And she doesn't even fuckin realize that this very fact is the single reason why I am going to have my revenge on her and him, and why I am going to have my revenge by *taking back my son* and SPECIFICLY VERY IRONICLY the very reason why I will hack her into being a FUCKING LIAR *all* because this happened because it was when it came right down to it what __SHE__ wanted and not what *HE* wanted! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHA So the fucked up thing is, being an asshole, It was really more like love. And I know that down the road, she's going to see through this veil, and feel like such a fucking idiot. And at that time, I will have already raised him, and will have already done what I needed to do for securing his entire future. And it will be too late before it even happens. And you know what, I'll probably(no actually I get butterflies in my stomach, just like U and wilfur and robert and pretty much anybody on the face of the planet who looks at her and so now i feel better about myself) NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER take her back unless she works at least *HALF* of the miracles I've had to make happen in light of HER BULLSHIT. So you know what man, I think she loves me. And you know what man, I think you love me too. [pause] Hahaha naw im just fuckin with u (I got *made/mad crazy brotherly love for ya tho*) ... I have so much fucking respect for you donald. I have been able to (using hindsight) explore every single thing that's ever happened to me, and why it was done. And those are the kinds of things that really make me wonder when it comes right down to it. And I just want to say that you have given me so many dreams. I really give you this testimonial WAYYYY FAR BEYOND the depths of my grave, that no matter what, *YOU* made a difference in my life and I have alotta shit I gotta do to make it up to you and I'd really like the chance. I'd take a pellet gun in the ass to prove it to be quite honest. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group *ring* It's for you! Posted by [768]slf on Mon Mar 14 2005 20:48 ([769]got somethin to say?) ([770]Link) The only yelling that is ever going to happen in the presence of my child is going to be *ME* yelling at *SOMEONE ELSE* No one is *EVER* going to get away with YELLING IN THE PRESENCE OF MY CHILD or more importantly *YELLING AT MY CHILD* - MOST SPECIFICLY I WILL NEVER YELL AT MY CHILD! I WILL ALLWAYS ATTEMPT TO AVOID PATTERNS IN MY BEHAVIOR WHICH WOULD MAKE MY CHILD HAVE TO YELL AT SOMEONE, OR MORE SPECIFICLY TO YELL AT ME! I LEARN FROM MY FUCKING EXPERIENCES, no broken records here, thanks much. Yeah, How you like dem apples, Mom. *ring* Its for you(me actually). ... "Wow! You sound so happy" you said. "Yeah!!!!! ..." I started saying, genuinely! ... "I just dont want my child to repeat my mistakes, I just dont want my child to ever not have alternatives to the things he needs, I dont ever want my child to go anywhere else or do anything stupid to get the things he needs in life ..." etc etc I said as I changed the conversation. ... "well what the hell was so wrong with your childhood?" you said rather angrily. "Its Ok Mom, hey you know how you've like, never paid for a cellphone bill or a pager bill in my entire life, and how you think that cellphones are this horrible luxury and waste of money and like they were practically an invention of the devil and how you'll never have one in your entire life and how you really think a phone is the kind of thing that really belongs only in the house? Wellllllll, I can't exist without one." ... [arguing ensues, with lots of yelling] ... [she walks away from the telephone] "Hello? Hello? ..." I said as I started talking and they backed up for a second. "Hello? Can you hear me?" ... [I hear my dad saying something, as if I was on speakphone for christ sake] "Ahh fuck it." I said as I hung up. [and suddenly i'm here writing this to you] Do you see my point now, mother? Do you understand what I must do, mother? I really respect how you and dad have allways stuck together. I had derived my "ideal vision" of how I wanted to raise my son long before I had him! -- And I plan on sticking with it, ok? -- "that's icing on the cake." -me, as i hit control-X to send this puppy. And now I'm happy again. It's that easy! :) (Man, I really dig this shit. Writing is really fun! I really wish I didn't have to work at all! Living is a full time job too! Hehe! [oh shit, is that a pun sarita?]) -- icing on the cake (HAHAHAHA) -- remember? *WINK* -- Typing pays the bills you know. Hehe. ;) -- As I just cant pull myself away from the frosting. GOOD LORD! HEHEHE!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU GOD!!!!:) YOU KNO WASSUP DONT CHA! I'm waiting for the train to come pick me up actually. Posted by [771]slf on Mon Mar 14 2005 20:21 ([772]got somethin to say?) ([773]Link) I'm all outta cigarettes. Fuckin crap. This happens alot. Not good. I'm waiting for the train to come pick me up actually. Wassup Fly! Have a seat, I wont eat you. Posted by [774]slf on Mon Mar 14 2005 20:17 ([775]got somethin to say?) ([776]Link) [ 953][ unknown ] 14/Mar/2005 19:55 ** hjaffe.corp.yahoo.com (207.126.235.81) [200|67941b] /orion.jpg [8442] [ known ] 14/Mar/2005 19:55 ** hjaffe.corp.yahoo.com (207.126.235.81) [200|64945b] /books.jpg "Well all be damned! H JAFFE! HEhe!" (spider) HEY! Wassup Fly! Have a seat, I wont eat you. You checkout my web alot actually! Stay awhile, you're welcome here anytime! I'm tired of spinning webs. I would rather be a tree with roots. I have a little one too! It's the only one I've got! I really must be getting to him! He doesn't yet know how to spin a web. Say, could you teach me to fly? (/spider) Check out [777]http://dreamscape.org/swim/ I could really benefit from the things you once wanted to instill in me H. I lose everything effectively on Sunday. My 24th birthday is Saturday. Sarita is *GETTING MARRIED* to Replacement Daddy on Sunday. I have to be a great single-parent father to my son, and I *absolutely have to* get him here. This is the week to make or break me. (azrael from the movie dogma) I just sent him an email, LACED with ideas! Like CRACK! and NUTRASWEET ahahaha! and RAT POISON and the CURE FOR MY DISEASE ! hehe!!!!:) maybe even some ANTIANXIETY, ANTIDEPRESSANT, ANTIPSYCHOTIC effects, it might even have a little EMPOWERMENT mixed and cut up in it! pure bliss!!!!! tastes of enlightenment and wisdom for everyone!@#!@ holy crap!@# (/azrael from the movie dogma) i wrote the piece below, and now i sent this letter Posted by [778]slf on Mon Mar 14 2005 19:20 ([779]got somethin to say?) ([780]Link) B wrote: ) are you a reiki practioner? if so give yourself yes, among many other things ) some time to absorb that energy. I'm sorry your i am redirecting it, amplifying it,absorbing it, twisting it, clinging to it, and living in it. ) heart was broken. it will mend. they always do. :) yes,i've been down this road many times before, not quite like this, but it's nothing new (hehe) ) when you are angry - remeber this - it's because ) you choose to be angry. you choose. no one else. oh most definitely! I did choose to be angry! and I did choose to fish intentionally, check out dreamscape.org/swim/ - i'm actually a really powerful writer/speaker/thinker/feeler/changer/*grin*er/winker;) ) so what choice do you really want to make. to make an example out of myself, to open eyes, to hack into the secret vault and to leave a trail of breadcrumbs to educate the world. tao de ching and many other "ideologies" believe that to oppress a people is to promote world peace and harmony. I disagree much to the notion of slavery. ) anger also has been known to be the main source ) of cancer. it is a garbage emotion for the body ) - like stress. so please keep this in mind. anger -- more specificly the maximum expression of hatred, is the exact opposite of the maximum expression of love. Both lead to the same place. One is sweet warm and touchy feely love, the other is tough shake-the-cat-up-so-it-gets-personality-and-learns-to-survive-by-defending-itself love. I tend to like tough love. My eyes are wide open. ) do what you can to fix the situation not to make it worse. ) I don't know you but I hope you feel better ! Most definitely. I worked many miracles today. To judge me requires to know me, it would take alot of time. I have written thousands upon thousands upon thousands upon thousands of pages of text. Since my child was born, I kept dreamscape.org/swim/ -- I am actually a very gifted individual - checkout dreamscape.org/steven-fountain.doc -- Its just that without her (my dual soul) - my pride --- and without him (my joy) --- I am fuckin screwed. Believe it or not, I'm actually planning on cashing in on all these "good deeds" and "acts of kindness" and "acts of self sacrifice" by doing something about it with regard to getting my son here for good. She spirited him away under false pretenses, she brought action under false pretenses, she brought great harm under false pretenses, she mediated under false pretenses, she left under false pretenses, she came back under false pretenses, and she acted again under false pretenses and now she's MARRYING under false pretenses. She was so wreckless with my heart and my emotions and the piece of my life that I *ACTUALLY CAN TAKE BACK* that I feel that it has come time to take my son through our continued court battle (which I am winning by a landslide) -- I have subjected myself to the extremities of the world my entire life. I have been the target of every emotion at various flavors and colors and extremes of those emotions. The kids who get picked on in life allways have great rewards if they stick with it growing up. Such is the way of things. It will most definitely work out. I have much to do. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley [781]http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group Revenge Shal Be Mine - RIGHTEOUSNESS IS ALREADY... Posted by [782]slf on Mon Mar 14 2005 17:25 ([783]got somethin to say?) ([784]Link) HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!! Ok, so for some background, me and this girl are both born on the last day of winter of the last day of the age of picses on the vernal equinox. I'm 200 fuckin minutes older than her, and I moved to california and I knew she was my dual soul from day one. We knew each other for 7 years and I ALREADY GAVE HER AWAY and she ALREADY CAME BACK TO ME! and SHE FUCKING BLEW IT, SHE SO FUCKING BLEW IT... FOREVER MEANS FOREVER, AND I'M CUTTING UP THE VALUE OF YOUR WORD LIKE CREDIT CARDS AND I'M REPOING YOUR FUCKIN STYLE OF LIFE THAT YOU STOLE FROM PEOPLE UNDER FALSE PRETENSE AND WITH CRUEL INTENTIONS! AND I'M RISING UP AND DOING WHATS RIGHT! WHAT *HE* DESERVES! NOT WHAT *YOU* WANT FOR HIM. SURE HE'S CUTE AND ALL NOW BUT YOU KNOW HOW MUCH YOU RESENT ME. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH YOUR FAMILY RESENTS ME. YOU KNOW SURE AS DAMN WELL HOW MUCH THIS GUY IS GONNA RESENT ME! AND I'll be fuckin DAMNED IF I LET ANY OF YOU ABUSE HIM! SO GO OFF AND ENJOY YOUR WEDDING! THE *LAST* TIME I SANCTIONED A RELATIONSHIP LIKE THIS THE CHICK'S LIFE WAS RUINED FOREVER AND THE DUDES LIFE WAS *FUCKING OVER* WHEN YOU AND ME AND KENNETH SAID "FUCK SERAPHIM" AT THE EXACT MOMENT HE KILLED HIMSELF! THATS MY FUCKING CHILD AND YOU *WILL NOT GET AWAY WITH THIS I GUARANTEE YOU* GOD FUCKING DAMN YOU SKEEZY BITCH!!!! Our 24th birthday is coming up on Saturday. AH FUCK! BUT.. the plot thickens... This is too much. Sarita is getting married to him on sunday. SHE PRACTICALLY COMITTED PERJURY BY SAYING SHE WOULD ONLY BE IN TOWN UNTIL FRIDAY! HAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHA OH GOD THIS IS GONNA GET GOOD! ON WITH THE SHOW... My son is ABSOLUTELY NOT GOING TO BE AT YOUR WEDDING CEREMONY. My hatred for you knows no bounds, you filthy excuse for a human being. AND AS FOR YOU future husband of her, your life as your know it is FUCKING OVER pardon the metaphor. YOU'll get what you deserve on your 2 year anniversary when she DUMPS YOUR ASS AND MOVES ON HERSELF. HAHAHAHHAHA FUCKING SKEEZEY GUTTER TRASH WHORE I WANT MY fucking son back! FOR GOOD! AND YOU CAN PAY *ME* CHILD SUPPORT because you stole MY SON from ME and *I* am going to take care of him FROM NOW ON, *FUCK YOU* I am NEVER GOING to let ANYONE yell at him or NEAR HIM I am NEVER GOING to marry anyone - *HE* can find my next wife if that's what *HE* wants. I would rather be a full time father 24x7 from NOW ON than *EVER TOUCH A KEYBOARD EVER AGAIN* I would *NEVER* do the things to you that you did to me. SO GET USED TO THE CHANGE IN THE WEATHER! BECAUSE I'LL NEVER TAKE YOU BACK SARITA! You'll have to work at least *HALF* of the miracles I've had to make happen in light of all of your FUCKING BULLSHIT so that I wont LAUGH IN YOUR FACE! I KNEW FROM DAY ONE THAT YOU HAD ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO OFFER ME OR MY CHILD BESIDES WHAT I PUT IN YOU - WHAT I INSTILLED IN YOU -- AND I'LL BE DAMNED IF I'LL LET YOU RUIN HIS GENIUS MIND, HIS GOLDEN YEARS, AND I'LL BE FUCKING DAMNED IF I LET *HIM* PROGRAM MY FLESH AND BLOOD. I'LL BE DAMNED IF I LET YOU GET AWAY WITH THE THINGS YOU CONCEAL AND HIDE AND SHROUD AND CLOAK FROM THE WORLD!!@!! HAHAHAHHHAHHAHHAHAH JUST YOU FUCKING WAIT, You're at the EYE OF THE FUCKING STORM NOW PRINCESS! OH SHIT, IS YOUR TOWER CRUMBLING? LETS CHECK IT OUT... So enjoy it while it lasts, you two. Because I've been down this road before, MUWAHAHHAAHHA. Pretty soon, the only thing your going to have is each other, and CLING TIGHT PRINCESS, because the two of you are going to be ALL YOUVE GOT! And we know how well *THAT* works out! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA *FUCK YOU* SARITA, *FUCK YOU* LEE, AND *FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHA!* I would *NEVER* allow the things that happened to *ME* as a child happen to my son. THAT GOES FOR YOUR FUCKED UP CONCEPTION OF A BROKEN FAMILY TOO! My *DICK* will *NEVER BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY SON!* [785]Read More... GOD FUCKING DAMN YOU SKEEZY BITCH!!!! Posted by [786]slf on Mon Mar 14 2005 15:44 ([787]got somethin to say?) ([788]Link) This is too much. Sarita is getting married to him on sunday. My son is ABSOLUTELY NOT GOING TO BE AT YOUR WEDDING CEREMONY. My hatred for you knows no bounds, you filthy excuse for a human being. AND AS FOR YOU future husband of her, your life as your know it is FUCKING OVER pardon the metaphor. YOU'll get what you deserve on your 2 year anniversary when she DUMPS YOUR ASS AND MOVES ON HERSELF. HAHAHAHHAHA FUCKING SKEEZEY GUTTER TRASH WHORE I WANT MY fucking son back! FOR GOOD! AND YOU CAN PAY *ME* CHILD SUPPORT because you stole MY SON from ME and *I* am going to take care of him FROM NOW ON, *FUCK YOU* dreams - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [789]slf on Sun Mar 13 2005 07:48 ([790]got somethin to say?) ([791]Link) [792]http://www.francenehart.com/starry.htm [793]http://www.francenehart.com/index.html [794]http://dreamscape.org/reiki/ [795]http://www.ohhla.com/anonymous/ [796]http://dreamscape.org/anonymous/ [797]http://dreamscape.org/anonymous.tar.bz2 [798]http://www.painterskeys.com/quotations.asp [799]http://dreamscape.org/quotations/ [800]http://dreamscape.org/quotations/quotes.tgz ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley [801]http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group fucking wow - the nod aint got nothin on the fanmail Posted by [802]slf on Sun Mar 13 2005 04:15 ([803]got somethin to say?) ([804]Link) HOLY SHIT check this out This shit is so leet. And that's why I do this. (slf) "The nod" aint got nothin on "the fanmail" fucking wow. And I didn't even have to fish for it. It stood up on its own two feet. That kicks so much ass. Subject: Response to your listing: Kindly "Fuck You", Friend. Your thesaurus needs to become a dictionary. Steven, Wow...I often wish I could holler into the ethereal...and you did it! loud and clear. I admire someone who can express an emotion to the maximum. You are not a man to be ignored. I hope that this morning you woke feeling more loved than last night. Thank you for sending out such a clear voice. You inspired me to be more real. Know that you aren't alone out here...write some time if you ever get the desire to bounce some thoughts. smiling, Paulina for the record Posted by [805]slf on Sun Mar 13 2005 02:59 ([806]got somethin to say?) ([807]Link) For the record, I am a witch and not a warlock. But I'm a pirate and a jedi, and a statesman and a showman and a politician and an aristocrat and a diplomat and an assassasin and an interogator and a knight and a vigilantie and a loan shark and a.. [this could pretty much go on forever] I am in the nature of nature because i am of the nature of nature and by nature for nature in your very nature of the nature as we speculate about my nature and your nature because you inquired about my nature. thar be infinite treasure at the bottom of ye lake, arr. watch out for pond scum tho. the treasure's worth it. open the floodgate Posted by [808]slf on Sun Mar 13 2005 00:45 ([809]got somethin to say?) ([810]Link) I kicked the fucking damn gate open to god's parking lot. ..slf And then I went and got a burrito. True story. go ahead, hit the stop button Posted by [811]slf on Sun Mar 13 2005 00:34 ([812]got somethin to say?) ([813]Link) I'm the kindof guy that you never have enough time for. I'm the kindof guy that you wouldn't have the time for even if you did have the time for. Even if I was the kind of guy you had time for, but didn't have time for, I'm still not the kind of guy you have time for, you just simply wouldn't have the time. Trust me there are endless analogies to this concept that will apply deeply. it's like fucking logical rational intelligent personality data overload and your systems get all fucked up at the thought of absorbing all of this shit about me. I can't fucking help it. Go ahead, hit the stop button, you dont got the bandwidth anyway. Have some pie. We seriously got room on the short bus for all ya'll. fuck you, i'm fishing. Posted by [814]slf on Sun Mar 13 2005 00:14 ([815]got somethin to say?) ([816]Link) (slf) im fishing again (slf) i just sent out an ALL ACCESS "fuck you" (slf) tribe.net, click click. (slf) craigslist.org, click click. (slf) my journal, click click. (slf) sfraves, click click. (slf) a regular pissing exhibition (slf) fuq u people for puttin me in dis pozition ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley [817]http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group I'm fishing - Kindly "Fuck You", Friend. Your thesaurus needs... Posted by [818]slf on Sun Mar 13 2005 00:06 ([819]got somethin to say?) ([820]Link) I dont really give a shit what page your on, your using the wrong fucking book. And I dont speak that shit neither. Your thesaurus needs to become a dictionary. It's almost like someone switched up your dictionary with a thesaurus. Its like I have to hijack your attention and upload the diagnostic fucking program just so we can SEE each other clearly. (slf) Hey, someone please press control-Q. Thank you. (slf) Or alt-Q, control-alt-delete, break, break, home, insert and then shift. (slf) Or the ever obvious sys-request key. (slf) PRESS PAUSE FOR ALL I FUCKING CARE (slf) before i push the goddamn f'ing END key (slf) pageuppageuppageup u werent paying ATTENTION WERE YOU? (slf) settin u up with the caps lock alt-backslash carrot. enter enter enter ENTER ENTER ENTER !@#!@# ENTER!@#!@# ENTER!@#!@# (slf) [esc] "Maybe it's that I see you as who you want to be, not who you are." ..slf How many Saterday nights must I endure with absolutely nothing going on? Based on the pattern I see reoccuring far more often than my liking, it almost as if I dropped off the face of the map. No one calls. Thanks alot, Friends. Thanks for your support. Thanks alot for being there. Thanks alot for letting me trust you. Thanks alot for getting to know me. I really appreciate how you've been there with me through everything, and how you've shown me how people stick together, and how people work out their differences, and how people have grown and matured. Thanks alot for being there to set the example for me to follow. Thanks alot for havin my back when I needed you. Thanks alot for tactfully knowing when your words would have the most affect. Really, I mean it. Let's liberate the fucking dictionary and take those damn words back. Fuck it. You ungrateful fucking lot. Without you, you never would have existed. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley [821]http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group A honest realization Posted by [822]slf on Sat Mar 12 2005 23:19 ([823]got somethin to say?) ([824]Link) Maybe it's that I see you as who you want to be, not who you are. ..slf enter enter enter ENTER ENTER ENTER !@#!@# ENTER!@#!@# ENTER!@#!@# Posted by [825]slf on Sat Mar 12 2005 23:05 ([826]got somethin to say?) ([827]Link) (slf) Hey, someone please press control-Q. Thank you. (slf) Or alt-Q, control-alt-delete, break, break, home, insert and then shift. (slf) Or the ever obvious sys-request key. (slf) PRESS PAUSE FOR ALL I FUCKING CARE (slf) before i push the goddamn f'ing END key (slf) pageuppageuppageup u werent paying ATTENTION WERE YOU? (slf) settin u up with the caps lock alt-backslash carrot. (slf) [esc] ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley [828]http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group Hey, someone please press control-Q. Thank you. Posted by [829]slf on Sat Mar 12 2005 23:01 ([830]got somethin to say?) ([831]Link) Its like I have to hijack your attention and upload the diagnostic fucking program just so we can SEE each other clearly. what i want to know is Posted by [832]slf on Sat Mar 12 2005 22:56 ([833]got somethin to say?) ([834]Link) How many Saterday nights must I endure with absolutely nothing going on? Based on the pattern I see reoccuring far more often than my liking, it almost as if I dropped off the face of the map. No one calls. Thanks alot, Friends. Thanks for your support. Thanks alot for being there. Thanks alot for letting me trust you. Thanks alot for getting to know me. I really appreciate how you've been there with me through everything, and how you've shown me how people stick together, and how people work out their differences, and how people have grown and matured. Thanks alot for being there to set the example for me to follow. Thanks alot for havin my back when I needed you. Thanks alot for tactfully knowing when your words would have the most affect. Really, I mean it. Let's liberate the fucking dictionary and take those damn words back. Fuck it. You ungrateful fucking lot. Without you, you never would have existed. whats the point Posted by [835]slf on Sat Mar 12 2005 22:40 ([836]got somethin to say?) ([837]Link) What's the point of communicating so much, and having all this communications technology, and all these communication abilities if there is no one to communicate with? ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley [838]http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group The craziest damn machine ive ever seen Posted by [839]slf on Sat Mar 12 2005 18:24 ([840]got somethin to say?) ([841]Link) This thing is so frigging cool. [842]http://people.pwf.cam.ac.uk/lwh21/machine/ [843]http://people.pwf.cam.ac.uk/lwh21/machine/machine.avi ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley [844]http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group me and the system - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [845]slf on Sat Mar 12 2005 06:10 ([846]got somethin to say?) ([847]Link) [848]http://dreamscape.org/profile ..slf fav quotes from oldschool Posted by [849]slf on Sat Mar 12 2005 01:06 ([850]got somethin to say?) ([851]Link) "mitch martin: True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend..." "beanie: Guys this is a very special occasion. The Godfather himself has decided to grace us with his presence. This is his damn house. He sleeps twenty feet away." "beanie: What about Mitch here? He saw the wheels come off his life, guys. His whole world crumbled. Now he's the Godfather. " I love you Sarita and I love you Orion - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [852]slf on Fri Mar 11 2005 19:45 ([853]got somethin to say?) ([854]Link) so im sitting here in the courthouse. She's here. I am so nervous. I don't know what to make of all this. Its not so much that im worried about this case im more worried about how I am going to feel when I hangout with him for the first time in so long. What am I going to say to him? Is he going to remember the guy who gave him all the ducks???? And the guy from his rewm???? Wonder what he thinks about his daddy. I really have to visit with him. What kind of situation do they have going on over there anyway? Anyhoot. For all intensive purposes, this is one of those moments when I needed something to keep myself occupied. Im actually pretty scared. So the re--------- much later: everything worked out fine I really love her and him and you gotta see this kid!!! ..slf it comes to this Posted by [855]slf on Fri Mar 11 2005 04:37 ([856]got somethin to say?) ([857]Link) (slf) :( (slf) i dont know what to say (slf) or what to do (slf) when i didnt get any advanced warning that he was here (slf) im afraid to see him (slf) for what it will do to my heart (slf) what am i going to do with my kid tomorrow (slf) what kind of life am i supposed to offer him through a plexiclass cage such as this concoction (slf) im supposed to be writing dirt about her (slf) for the court case (slf) but i just cant do it (slf) i cant think of anything id like to ask for (slf) i cant think of anything id like to do (slf) she has thwarted my attempts to interact with him ever since she deceptively acqusitioned custody of our son (slf) allways with plans for this, or being busy with such and such, never was the father to be a factor in her decisions (slf) it has been very difficult to communicate with her (slf) she does not respond to pages (slf) she does not voulenteer information about my son (slf) it feels as though if i do not make an active effort to establish a voice communication that she ignores my requests for information (slf) the agreement feels completely uninforceable (slf) she has signed up for health insurance violating my joint legal custody without my involvement (slf) she did not get the police report as the court remanded - i was told it would not be released to me and that she in fact was the only person who could get access to it in direct opposition of what she claims - she heard the same thing from them that i did (slf) i do not have a telephone number where i can reach my son at any given time on any given day and have it picked up upon reliably and swiftly (slf) i do not receive pictures from her (slf) i have not received any bills (slf) or copies of any medical information indiciating his compliance with vaccinations and routine checkups (slf) as a matter a fact it was her intention to abandon my son in new mexico for his first birthday until she and i began discussing it (slf) she has made wild defamations to my character to my friends and family members who have inquired to her actions (slf) i feel that if i am unable to communicate with my son in person that the least we could do is maintain regular phone communication (slf) such wonder i have felt hearing h111111 messages from him, and typing back and forth to him with pictures on the internet. (slf) as a matter a fact, i sent over 75 pictures of orion, sunny, myself, and some of our extended family. (slf) i used to take pictures every day. (slf) i feel that my rights as a father so given by this court have been violated and that sunny has made a mockery of of this court trial and compliance with this court's orders (slf) i have to be involved in my child's life. i should not have to come acrost as a "pest" or a "nuissance" receiving half of the rights to this child. it is not as if I had usurped *all* of the rights such as Sunny has. (slf) I have suffered great expense and paid great personal price without him and her in my life every day. I disclaim that I am a product of my environment, and believe that without the both of them involved in my life on a regular basis I shal suffer great irrepreable damage to the continued existance between father and child. (slf) I should not have to argue for a fair share, I should not have to ask for a fair share. (slf) I have had a hard time trusting people, and letting people be close to me. (slf) I deny again that I had ever caused Sunny intentional harm and or suffering. I have however experienced much intentional malice and cruelty. What she has put me through every day since Thanksgiving has been the greatest single most hurtful thing anyone has done to me, with what looks like no end in sight. (slf) I still have a birthday to look forward to. She ruined that too, in my opinion. (slf) Nothing will ever be the same without this girl. (slf) I never gave up on her, and quitting was never an option for me. (slf) To not communicate was never and would never be an option. (slf) To forget would be unheard of. (slf) To avoid is cruel. (slf) To obscure and to conceal is cruel. (slf) To intentionally withhold information (as shown by patterns of consistent repeat behavior) is cruel. (slf) I am so afraid of seeing my child again. (slf) I am so afraid he will not recognize me. (slf) Or will not act the same way around me, or will be afraid of me. (slf) I did not ask of this. (slf) I did not do anything to my son. (slf) How am I supposed to feel? (slf) How am I supposed to interact with my son now? (slf) This whole process has interrupted the biological development process which was changing me from a grown man into a father. (slf) Would you want to raise your child in a hotel? (slf) Or over the telephone? (slf) Or with a little visit here and there, where "allowed"? (slf) How am I supposed to be who I am outside of an environment which makes me comfortable? (slf) That is not a hostile or agitated place to be? (slf) What exactly is the "appropriate" type of atmostphere for me to interact with my child in? (slf) In a house I am not welcome at? (slf) In a place where I am threatened that "the police will be called upon me" if I show up to visit with my son? (slf) In a place where I have no witnesses to corrobrate any defense of "TRUTH" as she no doubt will spin it? (slf) Must I allways have a second set of eyes with me in the presence of mixed trusted company? (slf) How am I ever again to enjoy fatherhood with these actions, these attitudes, these distances, and these walls? (slf) How would I know that what she's saying is the truth? (slf) Is it intented that I should hire occasional spot checks to validate her claims about my child's health, or general wellbeing? (slf) If she conceals the event, how am I to become aware enough to respond? (slf) This is first and foremost about my son. (slf) This is secondly and equally as important about my interaction with my son's mother, and my interaction with my son and mother as a alternative family. (slf) Without the same information, how am I to make the same decision? (slf) Without the same circumstances, how am I anything but the mother's fool victim? (slf) How in any way shape or form whatsoever have her continued actions not carried the deadlier price tag? (slf) What did I do exactly that was so wrong, and what exactly did she do that was so right? (slf) Violence comes in many packages. Such as the box of psychological and emotional violence I have had the displeasure of experiencing every moment of every day since she stole my child. (slf) She stole my pride and my joy. The very thing that made me a man. (slf) And every time I try and discuss the issues she responds as if they never happened, or were insignifigant events, or as if I deserved to be hurt, that I deserved to be treated the way she treats me. (slf) Every single time I bring up the wrongful arrest back in august it is immediately a trigger issue for her, and she gets very stubborn and very beligerant and very confrontational, I have never been charged or convicted of any crime, and for her to ongoingly slander and defame my character to my peers and family members and friends is the must brutal most cruel thing anyone has ever done to me. (slf) As if but for a moment she can step outside of time, to that moment, and remember how she felt. But in that very same moment she is blind to what she has put me through and what she has cost me an what she has done to me ever since then. (slf) I do not understand how she can diverge her mind in so many ways contrary to logic and evidencary support. (slf) How could I possibly not be worried and concerned and fear-stricken over her single governance of our child and our child's happiness and our child's wellbeing? (slf) If this is how she is to treat me, who she loved, and was in love with, and said she wanted to be with forever, who she said she would never abandon, would never turn on, would never hurt like this, How am I to personally believe that she would not do the same to my child? (slf) I personally come from a family background where above all else, more than anything, I wanted my child to live a happy life free from the yelling and violent outbursts all too common in the house and home of Sunny's immediate family. (slf) It was psychological violence, emotional violence, and the careless exercise of dominion and authority, the reckless neglect and the ignorant neglect. (slf) These I feared above all else for my child. (slf) These I allways wished to avoid for my child. (slf) Even before I had a child! (slf) How is my will to be executed without an able willing or rational body there to exercise it? (slf) I am very uncomfortable with the unaccountable and likely hostile atmosphere my child is growing up in. To grow bigger and to self discover is one thing. But as parents I feel there is a moral obligation to intellectually, psychologically, physically, and emotionally encourage my son. When he is abandoned into Sunny's family care, how is he receiving the level of nurturing he requires? He only gets one first birthday. He's only little once. He only has these first few years to draw upon (slf) He only has these first few years of his life to shape and mould the next few years of his life (slf) Linguistically he should be much further along by now. (slf) As a child I was in the talented and gifted program of oregon. I feel that this child of mine has special educational needs and I have been given no indication that these needs have been met on anything other than a whimsical or novelty basis. (slf) If Sunny is getting straight A's in college by doing homework, and focusing so much energy and attention into her new boyfriend, how is my child receiving quality interaction from someone's time and priorities which are so obviously directed at anything but him? (slf) How are his needs being placed before her needs when she is in New Mexico and enrolled in a full course load? (slf) Who in their right mind (pardon the expression) would rationally believe that his needs were being placed first, as the most important thing based on the circumstances? (slf) From where I stand, it appears as if her needs come first, and his needs a close second. (slf) From where I stood before, it appeared as if her needs had to come first and that his needs were out of the question in that same spot. (slf) Surely my child deserves to come first, above all else, to at least one person. (slf) Surely what comes first to Sunny and how she prioritizes my son must be self-evident upon comprehensive review of the information before this court. (slf) Had Sunny been honest with me I would not be before this court today. (slf) Had Sunny been honest with this court this case would have never made it to trial. (slf) Had Sunny reflected upon doing these things, I would not have to exhaust such resources pointing out the obvious. (slf) Had Sunny reflected upon doing these things before doing them, I would also not be before this court today. How could you Sunny? I cite your broken promises as a closing thought: [858]http://enraptured.dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1102818019 cant sleep Posted by [859]slf on Fri Mar 11 2005 02:40 ([860]got somethin to say?) ([861]Link) Watching you watching me watching me. So it's a clock - [862]http://enraptured.dreamscape.org/astro/campbell/ how could she be so heartless Posted by [863]slf on Fri Mar 11 2005 00:29 ([864]got somethin to say?) ([865]Link) how could she be so heartless? ..slf more Posted by [866]slf on Thu Mar 10 2005 23:46 ([867]got somethin to say?) ([868]Link) he is a good kid I am a good person she had absolutely no right to take my son away like that and she deceived the court, and me, in clear and simple severe extremes such as his birthday. HIS BIRTHDAY!!JJ! Thanksgiving -- Christmas -- NEW YEARS -- NOT VALENTINES DAY -- and now his f'ing birthday!!! she is such a grinch. She said it wouldn't be good for her. What the hell does that mean? She allways has people over and can't even communciate with me that she wasn't ditching him like she said she was? I had to convince her to at least take him with her and then at the last minute he and her come and she can't even call me to have me see him on his birthday. Like what would YOU do???nn??? Fuck. Fuck!!!! !!!!j!!!! and he's here!njn!?!?$#$$!!!j! And where the hell are you?!!j?jj why wasn't it GOOD FOR YOU to let me interact with MY FLESH AND BLOOD! I have a fucking right and they outpimped me! fuck! FUCKFUCK!!! All because of money. what IS HAPPENING is all about money. If money were reversed I would be helping you! I wouldn't even think twice about helping you. What the hell did I ever do to deserve this? If money were an EVEN PLAYING FIELD this WOULDNT BE HAPPENING but I put in those hours and I paid those dues! I need to be risen up.. I need to be given the chance to set an example and be a role model and stand for something. ..slf more Posted by [869]slf on Thu Mar 10 2005 23:31 ([870]got somethin to say?) ([871]Link) The people who read this journal really mean something to me. For every person out there who I've never met I just want to ask you to write me a message. What would you do if this was your son? I have come so far and am willing to go the same and would be righteous in so much karmatic debt through divine deliverance and divine intervention and divine justice. I can affect positive good in the lives of thousands I have gotten to know. I am prepared to be a saint only if I were appointed with that kind of bankroll. So many righteous acts of righting word definitions for what they really mean! this actually means this again! I can be a public figure. I would take these people and pave so many futures. Open so many eyes. Make so many dreams come true. God damnit. Where's my fuckin money check. Its been so fuckin long. What the fuck. How many times I gotta get kept out of doing it big? When is my story going to be heard? I have suffered and I wish to set right upon the world. Divine intervention. ..slf damnit Posted by [872]slf on Thu Mar 10 2005 23:15 ([873]got somethin to say?) ([874]Link) Why can't someone pick up my story and put a positive .02 cents in. Things should be so much different then this. I miss my kid so much. What would *YOU* DO if you were in my shoes? I didn't even get to see my son on hiss FIRST BIRTHDAY! What the fucking hell. I need something bigger, something more creative. No growth without assistance. This is an official request for divine intervention. Punch and pie. ..slf have I seriously? Posted by [875]slf on Thu Mar 10 2005 23:10 ([876]got somethin to say?) ([877]Link) I am so torn. ..slf a new page Posted by [878]slf on Thu Mar 10 2005 23:09 ([879]got somethin to say?) ([880]Link) What the hell is wrong with you people? What the hell is going on. Can't anything be sacred anymore. God fucking damnit. ..slf damnit damnit Posted by [881]slf on Thu Mar 10 2005 22:43 ([882]got somethin to say?) ([883]Link) The way I feel right now really sucks. Nothing compares to how good she made me feel. after knowing true happiness and supreme happiness I suppose nothingness is the only runner up. The way of things complicates me. ..slf keepin myself occupied Posted by [884]slf on Thu Mar 10 2005 21:09 ([885]got somethin to say?) ([886]Link) im all out of ideas on what to do tonight. Misery loves company. Oh yes. ..slf worthless skeeze Posted by [887]slf on Thu Mar 10 2005 19:34 ([888]got somethin to say?) ([889]Link) So she's keeping me from seeing my son on his fucking birthday. God fucking damnit. There aren't words for the curses I wish to utter right now. HOW FUCKING COULD YOU?!?! What the fuck is wrong with you?!?! ..slf she's in hollister with my son! Posted by [890]slf on Thu Mar 10 2005 19:12 ([891]got somethin to say?) ([892]Link) what's this? My son is in CALIFORNIA on his BIRTHDAY and NO ONE MANAGED TO TELL HIS FATHER WHO MISSES HIM DEARLY ? What the fuck is that ?!?! ..slf got my threads Posted by [893]slf on Thu Mar 10 2005 17:28 ([894]got somethin to say?) ([895]Link) You can't replace the real thing, baby. ..slf Going down with the ship Posted by [896]slf on Thu Mar 10 2005 15:04 ([897]got somethin to say?) ([898]Link) At least I have the privilege of going down with the ship. happy birthday orion AND craigslist..... Posted by [899]slf on Thu Mar 10 2005 14:17 ([900]got somethin to say?) ([901]Link) Today is my son's first birthday - I'm a good man and a good provider, but saying as how he's in a different state, and nobody seems to be employing me, what am I supposed to think of myself? What are my loved ones supposed to think of me? What are you my prospective employer supposed to think of me? I love this kid more than anything and that just isin't good enough. I'm desprate, I cry to you from the depths of my heart, please give me a honest chance, please stick your neck out for me. I will be the most loyal employee you've ever had. [902]http://www.craigslist.org/sby/res/63199687.html HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIDDO Posted by [903]slf on Thu Mar 10 2005 13:03 ([904]got somethin to say?) ([905]Link) HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIDDO! ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley [906]http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group neat the power went out - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [907]slf on Thu Mar 10 2005 00:42 ([908]got somethin to say?) ([909]Link) Neat the power went out. ..slf at midnight Posted by [910]slf on Wed Mar 09 2005 22:56 ([911]got somethin to say?) ([912]Link) at midnight there is a heartbreak coming. Happy first birthday orion. ..slf the question is.. Posted by [913]slf on Wed Mar 09 2005 18:47 ([914]got somethin to say?) ([915]Link) "So what have ye? My pride and joy? My joy? My pride?" i am with you Posted by [916]slf on Wed Mar 09 2005 18:24 ([917]got somethin to say?) ([918]Link) I am from you. I am for you, of you, to you, and by you. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley [919]http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group poison Posted by [920]slf on Wed Mar 09 2005 12:49 ([921]got somethin to say?) ([922]Link) I think I ate some bad mexican food. Haven't been able to do anything, have a serious energy problem. I have been sleeping for days. wow - Tao Te Ching Posted by [923]slf on Tue Mar 08 2005 01:45 ([924]got somethin to say?) ([925]Link) Wow. [926]http://www.edepot.com/tao2.html ...or [927]http://zhongwen.com/dao.htm if any of that makes sense to you. hehe. my moblog eating code has also since morphed to translate url's properly, btw. and then one or two times more because there were some bugs to work out. such as handling whitespace characters, newlines, and CSS styles. So much hidden under the veil of something so trivial. Allways such is the way of things. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley [928]http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group sounds like Mission Accomplished to me officer! Posted by [929]slf on Mon Mar 07 2005 21:59 ([930]got somethin to say?) ([931]Link) (slf) i played music until the cops got called (slf) "sounds like Mission Accomplished to me officer!" (slf) haha (slf) hahahaha (slf) whos the pussy now (slf) at least i dont call the cops (slf) haha (slf) and at least i was a man about it (slf) hahaha (slf) we all know how they love terrorist violin solo's! (slf) SHHHH quietly now (slf) incon-spic-uous (slf) in COG NITO (slf) wouldn't want to scare the baby! (slf) with my scary scary music (slf) OOOoooh (slf) bwhahha (slf) *queues the truth hurts instrumental, locked up the instrumental, the car chase music, and the violin solo they hate so much* (slf) i can enjoy all the freedoms of AS MANY PEOPLE AS I WANT in my own house that I PAY ALL THE RENT ON (slf) sheehs (slf) heheh (slf) maybe IM TRYING TO MAKE MYSELF DEAF SO I DONT HAVE TO HEAR YOU AND YOUR DUMB FAMILIES (slf) two birds with ONE STONE im thinking (slf) entourage of one, muthafucka ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group and everyone in his life would mistake it as love, everyone in his life would mistake it as love Posted by [932]slf on Mon Mar 07 2005 19:53 ([933]got somethin to say?) ([934]Link) (slf) 'i am died clinicly, arrive back at my enemies quick with a hennesey then i got drunk and finished me (slf) is basically swerving the 16's just like what i was doing fuckin with the arrow key ninja shit (slf) its just string juggling (slf) the dre formula is putting one person in front of a mic or keyboard, encouraging them, directing them, and making that shit happen. keeping the engine running. (slf) wait a minute (slf) attaching words together (slf) like this (slf) is making the boulder tree (slf) holy f'ing jesus (slf) because you can repeat them (slf) and assemble a beat (slf) and you just say that shit and then choose what to add and subtract by arrowing through it (slf) and then make stub trees (slf) but maybe not related directly (slf) and another (slf) juggling this shit (slf) between this formula and a knowledge of meronym/psuedonym/thesaurus shit (slf) and picking shit that ends on the same 2 letter word sound (slf) u can rap that shit w/string juggling and markov chain shit! (making something roll over...) (slf) and make the chains logically be different in some style change (slf) each time ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group quest for the scrilla - the beginning Posted by [935]slf on Mon Mar 07 2005 16:05 ([936]got somethin to say?) ([937]Link) Gotta come up with a plan to bring in finances. I need more to write about anyway. (slf) and then..? (slf) im a fisherman, and this is my boat. i live here. (slf) u r in a dungeon. (slf) u cannot drink ye flask! (slf) WARNING: grok levels critical. (slf) haha (slf) im thinking. hmm... make bait. (slf) have infinite fishin poles. (slf) have automated reelins. (slf) throw dynamite in the water. [938]Read More... (1 comments) im pretty worried Posted by [939]slf on Mon Mar 07 2005 15:00 ([940]got somethin to say?) ([941]Link) I have to make some decisions right now about how to bring in money by the end of the month. I'm pretty worried. Not really sure what to do, exactly. lovechao.tribe.net deserves your eyes your ears your keys and your addressbook. seriously. Posted by [942]slf on Sun Mar 06 2005 07:49 ([943]got somethin to say?) ([944]Link) (slf) i used to allways say "the truth hurts, but lies leave scars." (slf) now i say things like (slf) "the lies didnt scar, and the truth is WONDERFUL!" (slg) Love & Conquer. the Dude - "new shit has come to light man" (slf) "... the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes 'Awww'!" --Jack Kerouac, main page: lovechao.tribe.net images from this tribe: http://sanfrancisco.tribe.net/template/pub%2Ctribes%2CTribePhotoAlbum.vm/context/tribe?tribeid=3621feac-75a5-43af-bff5-3005bd718b60&r=10535 I got mad fuckin respect for this guy and what he's doing. he deserves your eyes, your ears, your keys, and your address book. seriously. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group some background Posted by [945]slf on Sun Mar 06 2005 04:43 ([946]got somethin to say?) ([947]Link) Damn. This is pretty much what happened to me: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/bos/60656938.html man. Posted by [948]slf on Thu Mar 03 2005 15:40 ([949]got somethin to say?) ([950]Link) Subject: RE: A Multiple choice: (hehe) a) I like pie b) you didn't get the job - but... ??? c) it'll happen by (blank) date, don't worry, play it coo ..slf the floor - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [951]slf on Wed Mar 02 2005 10:11 ([952]got somethin to say?) ([953]Link) ..slf at first light - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [954]slf on Wed Mar 02 2005 08:59 ([955]got somethin to say?) ([956]Link) at first light rainbows appear all over the place, only through this one window, only at a certain time. ..slf watch out for the SIGN ! - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [957]slf on Wed Mar 02 2005 00:42 ([958]got somethin to say?) ([959]Link) watch out for the SIGN ! ..slf fire - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [960]slf on Wed Mar 02 2005 00:34 ([961]got somethin to say?) ([962]Link) ..slf fire - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [963]slf on Wed Mar 02 2005 00:32 ([964]got somethin to say?) ([965]Link) ..slf skipping change - the rules Posted by [966]slf on Tue Mar 01 2005 20:56 ([967]got somethin to say?) ([968]Link) (slf) ahhaha leet!@#!@#!@# * slf found 2.50$ worth of change (slf) 1 point for every time you skip the coin on something (slf) 1 point for every time the coin bounces before it hits the ground (slf) 1 point every time the coin hops backwards (slf) 1 point every time the coin lands on one of the things you were bouncing it off of (slf) its good fun! ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group pocket change Posted by [969]slf on Tue Mar 01 2005 20:11 ([970]got somethin to say?) ([971]Link) I could make an enitre skate video out of pocket change! Bwahhaah ..slf two words - scrambled pancakes Posted by [972]slf on Tue Mar 01 2005 17:53 ([973]got somethin to say?) ([974]Link) SCRAMBLED PANCAKES so yes thats right folks, im down to scrambled pancakes! further proof u can do anything u put yur mind to, or for that matter, further proof you can fry anything up on a stove by flipping it over and over heh ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group skipping change, the movie! Posted by [975]slf on Tue Mar 01 2005 14:10 ([976]got somethin to say?) ([977]Link) Check this shit out: [978]http://dreamscape.org/ninja-of-change-in-yo-pocket.avi ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group the lily pads - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [979]slf on Tue Mar 01 2005 12:01 ([980]got somethin to say?) ([981]Link) one of a kind Napster house barstools. ..slf discovery of my new favorite pasttime Posted by [982]slf on Tue Mar 01 2005 11:58 ([983]got somethin to say?) ([984]Link) I have discovered that my favorite past time is skipping the change in my pocket off lily pad seat cushions in the living room. Hop hop hop plink! ..slf everybody eats, everybody wins Posted by [985]slf on Tue Mar 01 2005 11:19 ([986]got somethin to say?) ([987]Link) Man. Even the lawyer gets to eat like a king for a day. Ah haha! What a feeling! ..slf not for the bandwidth impaired Posted by [988]slf on Tue Mar 01 2005 11:00 ([989]got somethin to say?) ([990]Link) How am I gonna get my story out there more? I need more awareness of dreamscape.org/swim ... can you help? ..slf capsule received Posted by [991]slf on Tue Mar 01 2005 10:54 ([992]got somethin to say?) ([993]Link) I can grill up pretty much anything in a frying pan with a ton of butter. Eggs in a frame. Scrambled eggs. grilled Pancakes. Mmm. Maybe i'll be able to grill up those comments from/to my folks now and give those the one two. Package arrived on time. Hope has been refueled. Food for thought. And now I can afford some. Yes mom. Yes dad. You were there for me. That aint chump change. Don't let it go to your head thinkin u have a right to twist my entries around after im dead tho. U have valued my way of life enough so that someone else might as well. Leet. Oatmeal is the shit, pancakes r ok, cereal is the sux. I am the chef the waiter and the emergency room trauma surgeon all at the same time! I sent myself to bed sick lastnight from eating mayo mustard and salmon kindof in that ranked ingredients list. Ugh. Feelin a lot better. For now.. ..slf the living room has become my frog pond complete with bouncing lilypads Posted by [994]slf on Mon Feb 28 2005 23:08 ([995]got somethin to say?) ([996]Link) (slf) holy shit (slf) hahaha (slf) i just figured out how to bounce quarters off of stools like lilypads with 2 hops (slf) and got a 3 (slf) turnin my living room into flippin change like water over furniture (slf) like a frog hopping out of my hand (slf) but flicked (slf) im pretty good at it ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group so where them digits be at Posted by [997]slf on Mon Feb 28 2005 20:26 ([998]got somethin to say?) ([999]Link) (slf) this flour tastes sour lets detour for an hour and go scour and devour your words like a flower! -:- mode/#ircpimps [+o wzl] by joogot (wzl) slf.. qmail? (slf) empowering your firepower with a flameflower viewer wildflower (slf) givin u more horsepower (slf) fewer and fewer brewers of the answers (slf) like they wuz previewers and reviewers narrowers and followers (slf) livin in dumpsters and cuecumbers bunkers!@# (slf) like they wuz highlanders! (slf) and netherlanders! (slf) definitely they wuz amplifiers! (slf) busters, bushwackers, burners, butchers.. bummers (slf) takin over your damn mind like i wuz the commisioner (slf) right after i hooked up the new afterburner (slf) put on the black mask to be your executioner (slf) polishin up your words with a sharpener (slf) reachin up to the sky like a summoner! (slf) planner, poisoner, practitioner, prisoner.. loner (slf) opener (slf) petitioner (slf) runner (slf) damnit baby just gimmie your number!@# (slf) ahaha (slf) hope u aint mad, i wonder (slf) im just a founder (slf) goaltender, freeloader flounder.. (slf) i know im prouder!@# (slf) thats why they made me the ringleader!@# (slf) cause ill never surrender!@# (slf) with thunder cause im tender (slf) hold up the damn ladder! dont make me any madder! (slf) polishin up your words with a sharpener! (slf) reachin up to the sky like a summoner! (slf) opener (slf) petitioner (slf) runner (slf) damnit baby just gimmie your number!@# (slf) ahaha (slf) hope u aint mad, i wonder ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group lovin the entire!@# Posted by [1000]slf on Mon Feb 28 2005 20:07 ([1001]got somethin to say?) ([1002]Link) (slf) like i just fed u a sugar packet switched with ASPARTAME! (slf) bwhahhaha (slf) he's on fire! (slf) most definitely what u require! -:- You have new email. (slf) rollin around like a tire! (slf) like he was fuckin on fire! (slf) like a damn vampire!@# (slf) drinkin ur blood appreciatin the SATIRE! (slf) aw come on u kno u cant help but admire (slf) ur circuirty all fuckin f'd up like they wuz caught in the crossfire (slf) fuckin goin haywire (slf) new data cruncher, for hire! (slf) we'd like to inquire (slf) about how u gonna inspire (slf) so we can make sure u aint a quagmire (slf) so we dont have to make u retire (slf) makin u our damn squire -:- SignOff wzl: #IRCpimps (Read error: Connection reset by peer) (slf) until u fuckin expire -:- wzl [~weasel@ip68-228-70-103.oc.oc.cox.net] has joined #IRCpimps -:- mode/#ircpimps [+o wzl] by IRCpimp (slf) and aren't here to take over the empire (slf) shootin words and images around like gunfire (slf) fuckin your aural sex makin it go haywire (slf) not really fuckin sure whats gonna transpire (slf) wishin u had a damn umpire! (slf) reachin to the back of your head, tryin to pull out the damn wire (slf) findin a sapphire (slf) makin u a fuckin millionaire (slf) so u can retire at the shire (slf) sittin around sippin gin and juice playin solitaire (slf) developin your next repertoire (slf) tryin to conspire (slf) a fuckin ceasefire (slf) with a bonfire (slf) from a campfire (slf) filled with desire!@# (slf) lovin the entire!@# (slf) no way in hell feelin dire!@# (slf) -- rappin a milion lines an hour ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group he's on fire! Posted by [1003]slf on Mon Feb 28 2005 19:57 ([1004]got somethin to say?) ([1005]Link) 19:37 (Code|away) slf: you write at least 100x anyone else in this channel. it's awesome. 19:38 (slf) people cant help but be affected by my writing in some way:) 19:39 (Code|away) haha 19:39 (slf) like its literally impossible if they catch the meanings, people *yawn* when they read my shit not because its boring not because they're sleeping, but because they're mentally exhausted 19:40 (slf) i can paint a canvas with these keys. 19:40 (slf) imagination 2.0 n shit 19:40 (slf) powered by yours truely 19:40 (slf) with graphics that wuz unruly 19:41 (slf) numbers flyin all over the fuckin place surely!@# 19:41 -:- SignOff DoubleA: #IRCpimps (Read error: Connection reset by peer) 19:41 (slf) it'll grow on ya. 19:41 (slf) workin the arrow keys like they wuz my ninja. 19:42 (slf) powered by yours truely 19:42 (slf) with graphics that wuz unruly 19:42 (slf) numbers flyin all over the fuckin place most assuredly!@# 19:43 (slf) i can paint a canvas with these keys. 19:43 (slf) powered by yours truely 19:43 (slf) imagination 2.0 n shit 19:43 (slf) with graphics that wuz unruly 19:43 (slf) reaching spiritual conclusions by mixin the message 19:43 (slf) with graphics that wuz unruly 19:44 (slf) numbers flyin all over the fuckin place most assuredly!@# 19:44 (slf) i can paint a canvas with these keys. 19:44 (slf) reaching spiritual conclusions by mixin the message 1+1=3 19:44 (slf) it'll grow on ya. 19:44 (slf) workin the arrow keys like they wuz my ninja. 19:45 (slf) reaching spiritual conclusions by mixin the message 1+1=3 19:45 (slf) imagination 2.0 n shit 19:45 (slf) powered by yours truely 19:45 (slf) with graphics that wuz unruly 19:45 (slf) numbers flyin all over the fuckin place most assuredly!@# 19:46 (slf) literally and in more ways than one 19:46 (slf) with graphics that wuz unruly 19:46 (slf) most assuredly 19:46 (slf) logical connections connected most congruently!@# 19:47 (slf) workin the arrow keys like they wuz my ninja. 19:47 (slf) powered by yours truely 19:47 (slf) imagination 2.0 n shit 19:47 (slf) with graphics that wuz unruly (slf) my *ACTIONS* bless u, not my fuckin name, it aint the SAME! (slf) go back out through the same door you CAME (slf) its only a NAME (slf) and im just playing a damn GAME (slf) ill just go home and pout because ya'll know im LAME (slf) shiftin letters around like a tiger gone tame (slf) tryin to growl and pounce so I CAN GET SOME FAME! (slf) haha:) (slf) who do u think that they're gonna BLAME?! (slf) it aint gonna be a damn SHAME! (slf) im gonna rise up over dis shit so u can see i OVERCAME (slf) and piled all this data up like it was a fuckin MAINFRAME! (slf) settin this motherfucker AFLAME! (slf) makin u have to RENAME! (slf) cause of all the DEFAME! (slf) ITS NOT THE SAME (slf) puttin u back in yur picture FRAME (slf) its just a NICKNAME (slf) why u spittin GAME!?! (slf) like i just fed u a sugar packet switched with ASPARTAME! (slf) bwhahhaha ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group trappin your eyes to see the link.. Posted by [1006]slf on Mon Feb 28 2005 19:35 ([1007]got somethin to say?) ([1008]Link) trappin your eyes to see the link.. (slf) click click -:- You have new email. (slf) tomorrow morning im getting a phat bankroll (slf) leet. (slf) vengence shal be mine. (slf) the rent will get paid. (slf) even little timmy is gonna learn a lesson. (slf) im gonna have to think (slf) until im on the brink (failure) i found out who it was (slf) who did u think? (slf) was it my shrink?!?! (slf) she wouldnt want to be in the same room with me anyway (slf) U DONT KNOW HOW MUCH I STINK (slf) its just a little kink!@# (slf) draino washin down the sink.. (slf) it makes you think.. (slf) trappin your eyes to see the link.. (slf) copyin n pastin faster thank u'd think... (slf) rearrangin and stitchin it together so fast and with a wink!@ (slf) gone so fast before you'll blink (slf) im just tellin u a story (slf) what did u think? ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group workin them arrow keys like a ninja Posted by [1009]slf on Mon Feb 28 2005 19:08 ([1010]got somethin to say?) ([1011]Link) (slf) workin them arrow keys like a ninja (slf) it'll grow on ya (slf) "The funny thing is that this all seems to have started from a twisted combination of the coffee game ''saying the next thing that comes to mind'' and the childhood ''telephone'' mixed with some yo mama yokes, and they mama and some fight club style (slf) and then topple the 40 wudan towers style (slf) it'll grow on ya (slf) workin them arrow keys like a ninja ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group the light Posted by [1012]slf on Mon Feb 28 2005 18:58 ([1013]got somethin to say?) ([1014]Link) (slf) i talk to myself alot. (slf) hehe. (trixter) slf: fbi? (trixter) in hackers it was secret service (slf) EXACTLY! HAHA (trixter) the section of the manifesto was what bbc had me read into a tape recorder at hope 94, no more no less, becuase it was on the back of a tshirt (trixter) I wanna find that audio clip (I refused to say my name but you can tel its me by my voice) (slf) i like the thought that at least SOMEBODYS listening (slf) f'ing damn! (slf) u kno? (trixter) emmanuel was a technical consultant to the movie (slf) im usually COUNTING on somebody listening (trixter) odds are he is part of the reason that got put in (trixter) or you mean to here? (trixter) most of the time I ignore it (slf) oh because they wouldnt have wanted to go off and do it like all stereotypical without sommeee 2600 involvement (trixter) they wouldnt have wanted to make an inaccurate movie either (slf) yea basically (trixter) he got paid, what does he care? (trixter) did you notice that the plague skated yet all the hackers rollerbladed? (trixter) if you go into security and 'sell out' you stop blading and start skating (trixter) aparently (slf) skirting and smirking! (slf) all the way on through to BITCH (slf) haha (slf) rinsed and repeated (slf) expanded and expletive (slf) literally and in more ways than one (slf) in the message in the message in the message in the message about the message next to the message in the message from the message in the message in the message in the message from the message in the message about the message through the message do u get the message (slf) u be heads or tails, i'll be the razor edge on your coin (slf) bwhhaha (slf) language self guides itself to its own answers! (slf) its beautiful (slf) i love it (slf) and then i got the message in the message in the message about the message next to the message in the message about the message (slf) did u get the message?! (slf) and then i got the message in the message in the message about the message next to the message in the message about the message (slf) d1d U g3T Th3 m3sSSSSSAGGGG333333333333"?! (slf) and then i got the message in the message in the message about the message next to the message in the message about the message (slf) that changed the message about the message in the message in the message in the message (slf) d1d U g3T Th3 m3sSSSSSAGGGG333333333333"?! (slf) i got the message in the message in the message about the message next to the message in the message about the message (slf) that i stitched out of the message in the message in the message in the message (slf) d1d U g3T Th3 m3sSSSSSAGGGG333333333333"?! (slf) i got the message in the message in the message about the message next to the message in the message about the message (slf) that i stitched out of the message in the message in the message in the message (slf) that i stitched out of the message in the message in the message in the message (slf) d1d U g3T Th3 m3sSSSSSAGGGG333333333333"?! (slf) i got the message in the message in the message about the message next to the message in the message about the message (slf) in the message in the message about the message next to the message in the message about the message (slf) because i read the message in the message in the message all around the message from the messages i was all up in right next to the messages until i stood away and SAW THE MESSAGE (slf) SAW THE MESSAGE (slf) SAW THE MESSAGE SAW THE MESSAGE (slf) d1d U g3T Th3 m3sSSSSSAGGGG333333333333"?! (slf) i SAW the message in the message in the message about the message next to the message in the message about the message (slf) d1d U g3T Th3 m3sSSSSSAGGGG333333333333"?! (slf) i FOUND the message in the message in the message about the message next to the message in the message about the message (slf) ...about the message in the message in the message about the message next to the message in the message about the message (slf) d1d U g3T Th3 m3sSSSSSAGGGG333333333333"?! (slf) i SAW the message in the message in the message about the message next to the message in the message about the message (slf) ...about the message in the message in the message about the message next to the message in the message about the message -trixbot:#ircpimps- [Slashdot] GlobalFlyer 'Round The World Solo Flight Takes Off http://science.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=05/03/01/0155225&from=rss * slf busts a nut and goes and takes a break. (slf) Aaah that was wonderful. (slf) The two way mirror, so now I can see MY REFLECTION CLEARER! (slf) d1d U g3T Th3 m3sSSSSSAGGGG333333333333"?! (slf) ...about the message in the message in the message about the message next to the message in the message about the message (slf) i LEARNED THE LESSON from the message in the message in the message about the message next to the message in the message about the message (slf) i LEARNED THE LESSON from the message in the message in the message about the message next to the message in the message about the message (slf) d1d U g3T Th3 m3sSSSSSAGGGG333333333333"?! (slf) i LEARNED THE LESSON from the message in the message in the message about the message next to the message in the message about the message (slf) LOOK OUT BELOW!! the manifesto organism Posted by [1015]slf on Mon Feb 28 2005 18:32 ([1016]got somethin to say?) ([1017]Link) (slf) DUDE, even the fbi guy from hackers back in 1993 knows whats up (slf) "yeah, its cool." remember that song? Posted by [1018]slf on Mon Feb 28 2005 18:24 ([1019]got somethin to say?) ([1020]Link) -:- You have new email. (slf) ass ass titties ass and titties! (slf) ass ass titties titties ass and titties! (slf) titties titties ass ass ass and titties! (slf) haha! (slf) ASS ASS TITTIES TITTIES ASS AND TITTIES! (slf) ass (slf) ass (slf) HAHA (slf) the message in the message in the message about the message next to the message about the message in the message in the message in (slf) the message that shows u the message about the message so u could get the message about the message in the message in the message about the message next to the message about the message in the message in (slf) ??? (slf) Everybody wins. i heart tragedy! Posted by [1021]slf on Mon Feb 28 2005 18:19 ([1022]got somethin to say?) ([1023]Link) (slf) she is a singer (slf) and i am going to be the greatest songwriter on the face of the fuckin planet. (slf) just because i can. doesnt matter how the record spins, its still gonna spin somewhere. the party aint over, but you actually probably could stay here. it'll happen it'll happen ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group the message in the message in Posted by [1024]slf on Mon Feb 28 2005 18:15 ([1025]got somethin to say?) ([1026]Link) The message in the message in the message in a bottle with a message in a message in a message next to a message about a message with a message in a bottle The message in the message in the message in a bottle with a message in a message in a message next to a message about a message with a message in a bottle The message in the message in the message in a bottle with a message in a message in a message next to a message about a message with a message in a bottle cap. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group the purpose Posted by [1027]slf on Mon Feb 28 2005 18:03 ([1028]got somethin to say?) ([1029]Link) (slf) i wonder if i should ask slug if we can make a book about everything he does (slf) my eyes could capture it (slf) lyrics highspeed, by steven fountain and slug from atmosphere. haha. (slf) seriously. (slf) it would be beautiful. (slf) i would be painted as a dark pirate against profiting off of music for eternity (slf) robin hooddin that shit right back at them (slf) 1: jukebox that hunts for its own music - huntin for alotta music!! (slf) 2: napster - sharin alotta music!! (slf) 3: makin a shitload of cd rips (like 400) - and that took forever when that shit first came out (slf) 4: ??? (slf) 5: alot of life experiences - also alot of new music!! (slf) 6: alot of trash talking - also alot of new music!! (slf) 7: ??? (slf) 8: everywhere - math sings to itself all over the f'ing place! (slf) 9: it could happen - you be the judge (slf) it would be a very powerful educational document (slf) I wrote the book on writing your book. (slf) its MODELING the LANGUAGE (slf) i would give music something back at it (slf) u kno (slf) it would be leet (slf) everybody wins (slf) theres more understanding (slf) more people make music (slf) more people listen to music (slf) even computers and nature get a helping hand (slf) it would be a living book (slf) wouldnt want to look like a crook (slf) i have to do it sometime in my life (slf) the sooner the better because i wanna retire (slf) this type of life sucks. (slf) language is the key to everything and i got a shitload of doors to get to, god damnit. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group fun fun fun fun-fun! Posted by [1030]slf on Mon Feb 28 2005 17:38 ([1031]got somethin to say?) ([1032]Link) (slf) http://dreamscape.org/swim/ (slf) it looks like a riddle now (slf) ha ha -:- You have new email. (slf) (slf) -:- Topic (#ircpimps): "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." HunterSThompson (slf) (slf) -:- Topic (#ircpimps): set by slf!acayip@rdns.34.161.62.64.fre.communitycolo.net at Sun Feb 27 15:48:13 2005 (slf) I guess this makes me a pusher. (slf) Haha. (slf) shift the chamber and increase your member!@#!#! (slf) FOR FUN AND PROFIT!@#!@ (slf) haha (slf) stitched redirection transference 101, u heard it first (slf) now go morpheus for the truth and i'll be right back atcha (slf) faith liberation radio brought to you in part by REASON 101 FM! (slf) and now a word from the people payin the fuckin bills! (trixter) /topic welcome to slf's blog * trixter/#ircpimps watches a tumbleweed blow by (slf) have u ever wanted to rub one off? (slf) does it hurt when u pee? or think? * Code|away/#ircpimps lights it on fire (slf) does your ass explode at the thought? (slf) U KNO WE RUBBIN OFF ON YA (slf) brought to u by the letters q and Z -trixbot:#ircpimps- [Slashdot] True.com Wants Warnings On Personal Ads http://yro.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=05/03/01/0024221&from=rss (slf) watch TRIXTER FIGURIN IT OUT, at three! (slf) only on U N ME! (slf) learnin about the birds and the beez!@# (slf) and now back to our regularly scheduled program, faith liberation redio brought to you in part by REASON 101 FM (slf) "You livin in fantasies nigga!" (slf) DAMN STRAIGHT! Been the waif, the wannabe, the gonnabe... (slf) Like the hundred acre FUCKIN WOOD! (slf) Ur supposed to be the boy, because all the characters are FIGMENTS OF HIS FUCKIN IMAGINATION (slf) Fun fun fun fun-fun! (slf) Oh bother, did he just school me? (slf) i think i feel a rumbly in me tumbly haha (slf) u in the HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOOD (slf) even angry ole rabbit understood! (slf) he was stirrin it up so eyeore would get in the mood! (slf) to get right back in christopher robin's head, like food (slf) twisted understandings right back where they should.. (slf) go ahead and say something, you know you could.. (slf) YEAH I'M SELFLESS ALL RIGHT, SO (slf) SELFLESS YOU'LL HAVE TO PISS ON MY GRAVE LIKE A SORE LOSER 14:44 (slf) is today the day to TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE or is today the day to CHANGE THE WORLD? :p go ahead set it DOWN in the GROUND let the WORLD GO ROUND it'll find its way back to your FROWN at least im not superficial and at least I don't kiss peoples ass who I DONT GENUINELY RESPECT and at least I DONT LIE TO PEOPLE TO KEEP MY JOB and at least I STAND UP FOR MY BELIEFS EVEN IF IT TAKES MY OWN DRAGON SACRIFICE ive me a BREAK for HEAVENS SAKE im SICK OF THESE STAKES what the FUCK IS IT GOING TO TAKE for you to WAKE THE FUCK UP AND GET WITH THE PROGRAM this is SKINS VS SHIRTS and your SHIRT IS ABOUT TO COME THE FUCK OFF and we're about to THROW THE FUCK DOWN, what? you think I havent seen THIS TYPE OF SHIT BEFORE? Lover. Friend. Dad. Mom. FAMILY. Don't PERVERT THE DICTIONARY NOW! go ahead set it DOWN in the GROUND let the WORLD GO ROUND it'll find its way back to your FROWN 14:44 (slf) is today the day to TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE or is today the day to CHANGE THE WORLD? :p at least im not superficial and at least I don't kiss peoples ass who I DONT GENUINELY RESPECT and at least I DONT LIE TO PEOPLE TO KEEP MY JOB and at least I STAND UP FOR MY BELIEFS EVEN IF IT TAKES MY OWN DRAGON SACRIFICE THE HAPPINESS OF *EVERY SINGLE PERSON AROUND ME* IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY OWN! ISINT THAT FUCKING OBVIOUS?!?!? YEAH I'M SELFLESS ALL RIGHT, SO SELFLESS YOU'LL HAVE TO PISS ON MY GRAVE LIKE A SORE LOSER I need LOVE to do the things I do I need LAUGHTER to do the things I do I need STRENGTH to draw on when I am weak and vulnerable like this I need the CURE not a fucking band aid "My health levels are decreasing as my panic levels are increasing. I am so fuckin scared." "If you truely weighed all the information, mine and yours, fully, 100%, from your perspective, and my perspective, and orion's perspective, and you're family's perspective, and my family's perspective, you would not come to the conclusion you are at now. that is called a judgement, the 9. :(" i'm just running out of options, and i'm running out of energy, hope, time, luck, faith, choices, food, everything. i hope i have left enough footprints before I lay down for sleep, I love you and I have been in love with you since the day I met you my bittersweet little princess. And I love you too my beautiful son Orion ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley, except when i'm heartbroken I wished it goodbye.. And it blew out. (slf) They did all the talking. (slf) Without me saying a thing. Funny you should say that. guess what this means I was asked a question: "How long have you been living here anyway?" And I replied: "Probably about nine months." the cat is OUT of the bag now that's for damn sure - be free! Be fr333333333*coughcoughchoke* I moved on, to SOMETHING WONDERFUL, SOMETHING ENVELOPING, SOMETHING ENRAPTURING, SOMETHING COARSE, SOMETHING INPENETRABLE, SOMETHING AMAZING... SOMETHING you know! (slf) the HAIL MARY of organism [i was really getting into it now.. and suddenly a motorcycle rolled away with such loudness that it set off at least three car alarms.] [damn that was loud!] ..as quiet as a WALL OF FUCKIN WATER ABOUT TO LIBERATE A SHITLOAD OF SPIRITS! stitched redirection transference 101 Posted by [1033]slf on Mon Feb 28 2005 16:43 ([1034]got somethin to say?) ([1035]Link) the last post was stitched together out of a rant. Neat! ooh i dig the fuel Posted by [1036]slf on Mon Feb 28 2005 16:42 ([1037]got somethin to say?) ([1038]Link) Feel like you're 13 years old 14 years later, again for the first time. Fuck you Jeff - TREACHEROUS RAT - SO MUCH FOR FRIENDSHIP, EH? I'll grow up and move on, thank you. I'm ashamed I ever considered you a friend, I'm ashamed I ever considered you worthy of my time. You were a man of your word once. And then somebody cut up your credit cards. (slf) damn delicious mutinous insiteful forbidden information. (slf) such textured poisonous enlightening forbidden language. (slf) i taste antibiotic loving forbidden words (slf) so delicious. (slf) so enrapturing. (slf) so mouth watering. (slf) so clean and so soiled at the same time. (slf) almost gets stuck in your teeth, they do. (slf) like a dawg tryin to remove peanut butter (slf) we can't stop here, this is PHAT COUNTRY! haha (slf) -:- Topic (#ircpimps): "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." HunterSThompson (slf) -:- Topic (#ircpimps): set by slf!acayip@rdns.34.161.62.64.fre.communitycolo.net at Sun Feb 27 15:48:13 2005 (slf) as your attorney, i advise you to go home and rethink your life. (slf) Kindof like watching someone blade down a 5 mile handrail on a forest park skate video, and then watching his friend do it right after him. What are the fucking odds of that? (slf) I'd rather someone used simple language, or common language, with detailed visuals, spoken in the variant of their choice to best complete the image. (slf) Than someone who talks using words they dont back up or explain. (slf) * azok/#ircpimps carts gary coleman in to say, as only he can, watchoo talkin bout willis (slf) * azok/#ircpimps then goes out to dinner, while gary looks around confused (slf) ..or understand (slf) bwhaha (slf) ..or experiment with (slf) jesus (slf) ..or tolerate!@# (slf) HAHAHA (slf) how many fucking veils do u want, beautiful? (slf) this is the difference in the meaning of the word "crowned" as compared to "princess" (slf) no idiot left behind! (slf) come on, we got room on the short bus for all ya'll (slf) haha (slf) * Code_Dark/#ircpimps points out that "alot" isn't a word. (trixter) I used to say "a lot" kinda like "a little" but no one listens :( (slf) -:- You have new email. (slf) Code_Dark: The english language has this word called Anglicize. And it's important if you're not an idiot. (slf) Kindof has alot to do with the *definition* of the word, and the *intent and meaning and visuals* of the word. (slf) And the respect that you understood the intent, but that you weren't the one speaking. (slf) And as such, negotitate the exchange of the language using soundex calculus. (slf) Potato. Pota-to. Tomato. TomatoE. (slf) Linux. Lynux. Liiin-ux (slf) fuq u go read a book (trixter) regardless its still not a word and using stuff like that is a sign to many of weaker intelligence (slf) what a narrow field of view. (slf) you cant even see the light. (Code_Dark) slf: just trying to help since it seems as though it was an important email (slf) how u gonna know it aint just black and white anymore? (slf) or grey area anymore? (trixter) like if someone comes up to you and says "lemme axe you a question" most people tend to think this person is undereducated (slf) if u cant even see the light? (slf) this is where the NWO usage of language comes into play. (slf) Much like a yomama joke. (slf) SNAPS. (slf) The street smarts secret clandestine cult. (slf) Unless you can see your perspective, their perspective, everyones perspective in general (not your pussy bias), and ALSO more importantly the *KEYS TO MANIPULATE SUCH AS GIMMIE THE DAMN ANSWER BITCH* (slf) you are doomed to live life being lied to (slf) and manipulated (slf) such as I am manipulating your mind right now (slf) When u get the tactical solution to the puzzle, you will move on to the next level. (slf) Kindof like watching someone blade down a 5 mile handrail on a forest park skate video, and then watching his friend do it right after him. What are the fucking odds of that? (slf) I'd rather someone used simple language, or common language, with detailed visuals, spoken in the variant of their choice to best complete the image. (slf) Than someone who talks using words they dont back up or explain. (slf) * azok/#ircpimps carts gary coleman in to say, as only he can, watchoo talkin bout willis (slf) * azok/#ircpimps then goes out to dinner, while gary looks around confused (slf) ..or understand (slf) bwhaha (slf) ..or experiment with (slf) jesus (slf) ..or tolerate!@# (slf) HAHAHA (slf) how many fucking veils do u want, beautiful? (slf) this is the difference in the meaning of the word "crowned" as compared to "princess" (slf) no idiot left behind! (slf) come on, we got room on the short bus for all ya'll (slf) haha food for thought Posted by [1039]slf on Mon Feb 28 2005 15:57 ([1040]got somethin to say?) ([1041]Link) ))) I do not doubt your technical strength. My reputation is at stake when I ))) make a recommendation, would you recommend someone that you had even the ))) slightest reservation about? ))) ))) Got your other email, I actually do not have time to get to know you. As ))) well, I would not be the manager. I am certain that you have grown and you ))) are a more stable person. I'll think about it. Yes sir, I learned a lot of lessons in life the hard way, and my experience at Hotmail was a big one. I really have grown as a person and my morals and ethics and professional solution reaching methods have been very proven as valuable in a business world. Since hotmail, I loved alot, I lost alot, I made alot, I invested alot. I lived alot. I thought alot. And I would be retired right now if I hadn't have done those things six ways from sunday man. I have a baby now. I miss him very much and I have alot of hard work to do in an honest fashion. I could have retired off of Exodus. I could have retired off of Hotmail/Microsoft. I could have retired off of Cellmania. I could have retired off of Cobalt but instead went to Cellmania. I could have retired a celebrity off of Napster (and still might), I could have retired off of Excite@Home! If I have anything to show for it, I would have to say that all I have is a very disciplined list of life experiences to draw upon from which I can make wise choices and explain wise choices using burden of evidence. This is my 7th year in California. This is my 14th year involved in technology. When I was 6 years old I was doing this thing which is now called cellular automation. Look at how far I have come and how far I am willing to go. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group i can cook - i just have absolutely no food - food for thought - haha Posted by [1042]slf on Sun Feb 27 2005 21:25 ([1043]got somethin to say?) ([1044]Link) /Never again with the roommates thing/, I'm thinking. I can cook. I just have absolutely no food. Food for thought. Haha. :) I discovered a shitload of my minidisc's, I'm keeping myself pretty well entertained. I just had a bunch of frat folk move in down the hallway, they were disrespectin some shit talkin some shit. So I just brought down the house and blasted out pretty much the entire anthology of breakbeat and soul and industrial and rave and pretty much a ton of one of a kind mixes. Its kindof amusing to fuck with the neighborhood. It keeps them in check. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group company Posted by [1045]slf on Sun Feb 27 2005 13:26 ([1046]got somethin to say?) ([1047]Link) I could really use some company. Hate to do it but the ALL STOP emergency break has been pulled with the sole intention of finding a little attention. Can't write without living a little. I can dream. current status Posted by [1048]slf on Fri Feb 25 2005 14:32 ([1049]got somethin to say?) ([1050]Link) From my evite profile: http://www.evite.com/pages/gt/people/view.jsp?username=slf1yrl8r Gender: Male Age: 23 Birthday: March 19 Location: Campbell, CA My Hometown: portland oregon High School: determined obsolete College: determined obsolete School (Other): determined redundant Occupation: perl (jedi|hacker) / mad scientist / enlightenment Interests: language, lyrics, numbers, words, inbetween the words, next to the words, verses, phrases, patterns, and the ak47 of string theory (perl) I'm Interested In: Friends, Dates with Women Favorite Party Drink: new castle Songs to get me Groovin': i can probably find something interesting in anything you'll throw at me - this is where the imagination comes into play Favorite Restaurants: taco bravo here in campbell Local Hangouts: my secret lair... in campbelll I'm Secretly a Fan of: the divine impulse of creation, divine deliverance, divine justice, divine intervention, natural law, clarisentient abilities, claricognizant abilities, sense projection More About Me: transplant from portland oregon, all these californians were moving to my hometown 7 yrs ago, so i figured they were taking something for granted, yakno? i'm here to make that gold and silver. i have worked for msn hotmail, i worked at napster the day metallica showed up in a limo and went down with the ship the day the judge shut them down, and i worked for excite@home until at&t screwed them over too. suffice to say i've got alot of shit to talk about alot of shit! i arrived just in time to spark off the orgasm of the rave scene and presided over finishing it off when it collapsed onto itself right back into the underground where it came from. there is DEFINITELY more to me, and most things, than is at surface level. There be infinite riches at the bottom of ye lake! Arrr! system administration which begat system programming which begat system architecture which begat this thing that started to feel like spiritual evangelism ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group woah - i cant afford that kinkos visit most definitely not Posted by [1051]slf on Thu Feb 24 2005 18:47 ([1052]got somethin to say?) ([1053]Link) Heh, according to my calculations, it would cost somewhere around 300$ to print this journal at Kinkos. The funny thing is, almost half if not more of these 568(@25 lpp) pages if not the greater portion of them all happened since the beginning of febuary. I need a physical copy of this stuff. its in the works most definitely Posted by [1054]slf on Thu Feb 24 2005 15:50 ([1055]got somethin to say?) ([1056]Link) 14:31 (slf) and hopefully U dont want to be their stepping stone or their stepping razor 14:31 (slf) get yo emergency poncho n shit 14:31 (slf) and watchout for the toxic blood they spill 14:31 (slf) walking all over you 14:31 (slf) to the next person. who they mysteriously act normal to. 14:32 (slf) so many beginnings, so few endings. 14:32 (slf) agh god damnit. 14:32 (slf) allways be prepared to face yourself 14:32 (slf) to anyone 14:32 (slf) and turn people in on themselves 14:32 (slf) to see what they do 14:32 (slf) its not worth waiting around to figure out 14:33 (slf) 100% is 100% 14:33 (slf) 99% aint 100% and 99% doesn't make the switch turn on 14:33 (slf) brotherly love is 100% 14:33 (slf) unconditional love is 100% 14:34 (slf) brotherly love and unconditional love DO NOT MIX 14:34 (slf) universal love is 100% 14:34 (slf) faith is 100% 14:34 (slf) believing in something is 100% 14:34 (slf) believing in someone is 100% 14:34 (slf) beleiving in god -- talking to god -- listening to god -- is 100% 14:34 (slf) Alot of things in this life either ARE or they ARE NOT 14:34 (slf) .... 14:34 (slf) once u get that 14:34 (slf) It aint just black and white anymore 14:34 (slf) and it aint just grey area anymore 14:35 (slf) and suddenly u control all the refractive/reflective/radiative/luminosity/absorption shit like a ninja 14:35 (slf) And then suddenly U get to be the Oracle from the matrix. 14:35 (slf) ;) 14:35 (slf) Its just a shell. 14:35 * slf goes to smoke 14:36 (slf) friendship is 100% too. 14:36 (slf) either it is, or it isin't. 14:36 (slf) When people draw lines, draw one right fuckin back at'em 14:37 (slf) it goes: doin what god wants, doin what will benefit your community the most, and then doin what u want 14:38 (slf) and anybody who believes otherwise is fucked up in the head and will learn the lesson eventually 14:38 (slf) there are alot of people in this world who will suck your dick for a hundred dollars, if u feel me 14:38 (slf) *chuckle* 14:40 (slf) hopefully nobody has to learn that lesson at your expense..$$$ 14:40 (slf) it aint over till the last record spins 14:40 (slf) ;P 14:42 (slf) oh, basicly what that means: dont be a nice guy and dont be a wimp 14:42 (slf) be difficult to everybody. 14:42 (slf) it is your place to say this kind of shit if you MAKE it your place to say this kind of shit, and fuck taking a stand, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT 14:42 (slf) GO HOME AND RETHINK YOUR LIFE!@#!@#!@ haha;) 14:44 (slf) is today the day to TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE or is today the day to CHANGE THE WORLD? :p 14:46 (slf) literally, and in more ways than one.... ;) 14:46 (slf) [and this is an aggregate] 14:46 (slf) ;) ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group damn fucking bracelet I fucking hate this thing it really needs to turn into a knife Posted by [1057]slf on Wed Feb 23 2005 21:45 ([1058]got somethin to say?) ([1059]Link) I'll bite the hand that FEEDS and ill bite the hand that HURTS but I won't bite the hand that SAVES or the hand that HURTS MY ATTACKER - YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT KIND OF POISON YOU'RE BEING FED ANYWAY! at least there is absolutely NO QUESTION that the hand that SAVES is making a POSITIVE DIFFERENCE! I mean shit they just SAVED YOUR WAY OF LIFE and ALL THAT YOUR WAY OF LIFE HOLDS DEAR! now lend me an ear i've got a KNIFE for you that I made out of a BRACELET someone GAVE because I went to ALL THESE RAVES and because the damn guy IS IN A GRAVE even though we forgave him AND STILL GOT PLAYED! now go SHAVE and BEHAVE -- did I mention its as CURSED as a KNAVE! Not too close now wouldn't want your HAND GETTING SHAKY! go ahead set it DOWN in the GROUND let the WORLD GO ROUND it'll find its way back to your FROWN ..slf at least im not superficial and at least I don't kiss peoples ass who I DONT GENUINELY RESPECT and at least I DONT LIE TO PEOPLE TO KEEP MY JOB and at least I STAND UP FOR MY BELIEFS EVEN IF IT TAKES MY OWN DRAGON SACRIFICE Posted by [1060]slf on Wed Feb 23 2005 21:36 ([1061]got somethin to say?) ([1062]Link) I'd like death lights please. Thank you that will be 4.80$ here you go. *lights some death* Thanks for being a role model for me when I was young mom, thanks a lot. Who was the bigger person for you then, hmm? I don't think I shook a stick at YOU! I DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT! there's allways QVC, unless of course you're BROKE ..slf as it stands Posted by [1063]slf on Wed Feb 23 2005 21:24 ([1064]got somethin to say?) ([1065]Link) As it stands, I have only *one* job prospect with the Godfather of the internet/coloworld/asp-industry. I was hopefully supposed to already be working by now, but my resume didn't get to him until tuesday, and wednesday is already come and past. And Now i'm PRETTY FREAKED OUT AND WORRIED. The question here now is, ARE YOU ON MY TEAM, are you PLAYING AGAINST ME? are you TRYING TO BE MY COACH? are you TRYING TO BE THEIR COACH? are you TRYING TO BE THE REFEREE? can you STOP TIME? can you BUY ME SOME TIME? can you just walk into the middle of the field, kick the referee's ass, and DECLARE ME THE WINNER? or is it all a figment of YOUR FUCKING IMAGINATION? am I REAL TO YOU? are you going to PUT ME ON THE BENCH? are you going to GIVE ME SOME WATER? are you going to TAKE ME TO THE DOCTOR when my ANKLE IS BROKEN? or are you going to CONVINCE ME that my broken ankle is PERFECTLY FINE and leave me CRIPPLED FOREVER unable to WALK ANOTHER DAY come THE MORNING? how much VOMIT must I swallow before you PLAY ON MY TEAM? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK THIS IS? there are TWO TEAMS, TWO GOALS, and ONE BALL. And you can kick that shit ALL THE WAY TO ALASKA or you can have a grand delusion that ALL OF A SUDDEN THERE ARE THREE TEAMS, or you can try and pretend that YOU CAN PINCH HIT my ENTIRE TEAM and just tell them to GO HOME so you and YOUR TEAM can just swoop in and WIN THE MATCH for the game we've been PRACTICING AND PREPARING FOR MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE, are you gonna be a CHEERLEADER or are you gonna be a HECKLING NAYSAYER? are you going to tell me the THING I NEED TO HEAR or are you going to TALK FOR THE SAKE OF HEARING YOUR OWN FUCKING VOICE? whos game do you think this is anyway? pick a side any side AND LET ME DO MY JOB im not going to BE A QUITTER im not GOING HOME im not GIVING UP and im NOT ACCEPTING FAILURE but GOD DAMNIT how the FUCK am I supposed to ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING TO HELP MY OWN SITUATION? what the FUCK does my SON DESERVE? can you PRIORITIZE? can you TRY? can you DO? I know I SURE CAN WHEN I GOT THE RIGHT PEOPLE PLAYING ON MY TEAM and when I GOT THE RIGHT PEOPLE COACHING ME and when I GOT THE RIGHT ADVICE AT THE RIGHT DAMN TIME and when you USE WORDS AND IMAGERY AND TACTICS that you KNOW will RELATE TO ME because you used a TACTIC AND STRATEGY THAT WORKED BEFORE--- when exactly DID YOUR TACTICS EVER WORK? give me a BREAK for HEAVENS SAKE im SICK OF THESE STAKES what the FUCK IS IT GOING TO TAKE for you to WAKE THE FUCK UP AND GET WITH THE PROGRAM this is SKINS VS SHIRTS and your SHIRT IS ABOUT TO COME THE FUCK OFF and we're about to THROW THE FUCK DOWN, what? you think I havent seen THIS TYPE OF SHIT BEFORE? Lover. Friend. Dad. Mom. FAMILY. Don't PERVERT THE DICTIONARY NOW! The line's been drawn. And drawn again. And drawn again. Consider these words SOME OF YOUR LAST CHANCES. Surely even YOU have HBO at home. I know sure as fuck that I DONT! The walls are CRUMBLING DOWN and QUITE FRANKLY i happened to LIKE THEM and WHAT THEY STOOD FOR! i may be the ONLY FUCKING ONE who gives a SHIT but IN THIS HOUSE in THESE WALLS *I* am the MAN of my house, *I* am the CENTER OF MY OWN UNIVERSE, and *I* KNOW WHAT IT TAKES TO WIN THE GAME, *I* KNOW WHEN TO KICK THE BALL AND TO SWING THE BAT! *I* KNOW HOW TO COACH MY OWN FUCKING GAME! ALL I WANT IS A RIDE TO THE DAMN ARENA, FOOD IN MY STOMACH, AND A ROOF OVER MY FUCKING HEAD SO I CAN DREAM AND PRACTICE! IS THAT SO HARD?! I DONT KNOW ABOUT YOU! BUT I DONT WANT TO WORK MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE TO STILL NOT HAVE THE THINGS IN LIFE THAT ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT. THE HAPPINESS OF *EVERY SINGLE PERSON AROUND ME* IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY OWN! ISINT THAT FUCKING OBVIOUS?!?!? YEAH I'M SELFLESS ALL RIGHT, SO SELFLESS YOU'LL HAVE TO PISS ON MY GRAVE LIKE A SORE LOSER agh Posted by [1066]slf on Wed Feb 23 2005 17:13 ([1067]got somethin to say?) ([1068]Link) the lack of anybody to talk to coupled with my impending doom is pretty fucked up. What the fuck am I going to do? Im getting really down on myself. I am kindof freaking out. My immediate needs are: 1) see my son immediately 2) pay my lawyer immediately 3) pay my rent immediately 4) pay my cellphone bill so I can at least communicate with my job prospects enough to not irreprably be ubemployable - and so I can at least try to bitch and whine and HAVE A VOICE! 5) eat 6) make it through the next 30 days without killing myself - I have a court case which will devastate my emotions, I have his birthday which I won't be there for which will devastate my emotions (no fucking $!), and her and my birthday which will devastate my emotions... I'm not going to make it past our birthday as it stands I need a SOLUTION not a fucking MORSEL! God damnit here I am again waiting around and nobodys even acknowledging that I exist I need LOVE to do the things I do I need LAUGHTER to do the things I do I need STRENGTH to draw on when I am weak and vulnerable like this I need the CURE not a fucking band aid what the fucking hell is wrong with everybody does someone such as myself slip through the cracks forever because IT IS NOT CONVIENIENT FOR YOU to do something to help me? What of the help I helped others with? What of the help I would be destined to help others with? Why am I stuck here ALL ALONE with NO LOVE and NO HOPE and NO OPTIONS ? I really warned you guys guess you weren't listening guess its fallin with a boat anchor attached to the leg ISINT IT? How the fuck would you know! Where the fuck have YOU been? I haven't seen another human being in so long... ..slf [1069]Read More... (9 comments) tragedy on the horizon most definitely Posted by [1070]slf on Wed Feb 23 2005 14:06 ([1071]got somethin to say?) ([1072]Link) its not about taking care of ME its about ME TAKING CARE OF HIM and I am FAILING ! at EVERYTHING ! ..slf seriously Posted by [1073]slf on Wed Feb 23 2005 13:14 ([1074]got somethin to say?) ([1075]Link) If you give a about me, do something. health balanced to panic Posted by [1076]slf on Wed Feb 23 2005 12:45 ([1077]got somethin to say?) ([1078]Link) My health levels are decreasing as my panic levels are increasing. I am so fuckin scared. ..slf i would do anything Posted by [1079]slf on Wed Feb 23 2005 12:38 ([1080]got somethin to say?) ([1081]Link) I would do anything for a huge chunk of money right now. Seriously. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group I gave it my best and now I drown Posted by [1082]slf on Wed Feb 23 2005 12:27 ([1083]got somethin to say?) ([1084]Link) juuuust great. I'm going to lose everything. I am not going to make rent. I am not going to have a place to live. I am not going to be able to pay the lawyer when I have good circumstances in my defense. I am not going to get a fair outcome. I am not going to have any way to communicate. I am not going to have any food. I am not going to continue. Just fucking great. Its hopeless. I am pretty much 5 grand in the hole to set everything right. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. ..slf time is running out Posted by [1085]slf on Tue Feb 22 2005 18:01 ([1086]got somethin to say?) ([1087]Link) My telephone communications are inevitably going dark sometime during this week. Time to cash in some karmatic debts. The spider does not forget where its silkwrapped prey was left on the web, now does it? square minus conjunct seems to explain the square to trine relation - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1088]slf on Tue Feb 22 2005 14:43 ([1089]got somethin to say?) ([1090]Link) am pretty sure about this but I must test this a little further, the opposite seems to have a special meaning yet unexplained after this has been applied too!! ..slf holy crap!!! - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1091]slf on Tue Feb 22 2005 14:23 ([1092]got somethin to say?) ([1093]Link) Conjunct to square is 1 hop away!!!! Square to inconjunct is 2 hops away!!!! ..slf trine turning into sextile - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1094]slf on Tue Feb 22 2005 14:00 ([1095]got somethin to say?) ([1096]Link) Trine: flips each point breaking the link (keeping 1 link plus free link) + another of itself, overlaid and twisted. ..slf wow - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1097]slf on Tue Feb 22 2005 13:57 ([1098]got somethin to say?) ([1099]Link) All my answers lead to more questions! And all my questions lead to more answers!!!! ..slf the next mystery to unravel - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1100]slf on Tue Feb 22 2005 13:32 ([1101]got somethin to say?) ([1102]Link) I am facinated by how this law is in everything!!!!! I am trying to figure out the law for visualizing this! The relational math is amazing! Even the laws for these shape relations defines itself as it progresses! just you wait!!!!!!!! ..slf a clipping from reiki news magazine 2004 about dual souls Posted by [1103]slf on Tue Feb 22 2005 01:43 ([1104]got somethin to say?) ([1105]Link) Sarita I have known you were my dual soul, the one and only for me, since the day I met you. I know you felt the same when you first laid eyes on me too. I reaffirm that you did not know any better, and that you did not conciously attempt to hurt me because you were not seeing things equally from all perspectives. Please know that I love you, and enjoy. I know 100% that you are my dual soul. I love the elemental nature we share and wouldn't trade it in for anything. Many things are literal and in more ways than one. I love you. No one will ever compare to how good and wonderful and amazing you make me feel. I am dying without your love. Finding your Soul Mate with Reiki by Walter Lubeck [Soul Mates, Soul Families, and Dual Souls] Long before you incarnate again on Earth, you talk over your new life with your friends and guides in the realms of light. Because souls always come down as a team, it is necessary to adjust to each other's needs and wishes to create the best process in which to learn and to solve and to heal problems and karma. This kind of group is called a "soul family." During your next life on Earth, you will meet these people as friends, neighbors, lovers, colleagues, children, parents and other relatives, schoolmates, teachers, and spouses. Some members of this group may appear as spiritual teachers, medical doctors, or psychotherapists. Sometimes the time you have together is very short-- but if the person is a member of your soul family, it will be a precious or otherwise important experience for you. A soul mate is someone who belongs to y our soul family of a given incarnation and is closely related to your path-- much more closely then the others. A soul mate may appear as a close friend. In this case, your friendship will endure even long periods of time when you cannot meet or talk to each other. As soon as you come together again, you will find that everything is like it had been before. The resonance between the both of you is so strong that space and time cannot interfere. A soul mate may appear as your child, teacher, or spouse. The relationship between soul mates is a very special relationship full of deep understanding and closeness. A dual soul is even more special, but also more seldom encountered than soul mates. The regular members of y our soul family will be around you in one way or another during your life. But if you don't accept what you really are, if you try with all your strength to live the life of another, a life according to the standards of other people, then the members of your soul family will not be close to you. They belong to your path-- if you don't walk it, you cannot share your life with them directly. If you don't walk your path, life is frustrating: nobody seems to understand you, nobody seems to care about you, nobody seems to love you. Away from your spiritual path, people cannot understand you because the resonance of your soul to theirs is too low. You are not kin, not meant to be close together-- at least in this lifetime. The closer you keep to your spiritual path, the stronger your relationship with the members of your soul family will be. Once you are on your spiritual path, life becomes easier for you to open your heart to these other people, because their heart is open to you. If you move still closer to your spiritual vision-- or if you do it for a certain time-- you will also meet soul mates. With these people, understanding and sharing is even better than with your soul family. You might marry one of the soul mates or a member of your soul family who is not that close to you. The relationship will probably not be bad, but it will not really be fulfilling. You will, after a while, feel that something is missing. It is neither your fault nor your partner's fault. You could even stay together happily for the rest of your life. But you will miss something of enormous importance, a kind of love you cannot define, explain, or really communicate. But if you experience it, you will know-- there is a paradise on this earth!' To meet a dual soul, you need to be very close to your path, very resonant with the divine, very much concious about what you really are. Most people need years or even decades to reach that state. During this time, they often marry or establish another kind of stable loving relationship with someone. Because they chose a partner for a long-term relationship while in a state of low resonance with their path, their wife or husband often does not belong to the person's soul family at all, is a normal member of the soul family, or is, at best, a soul mate. BUT what if you then meet your dual soul? This is why many people who start to walk the spiritual path decide to end their present relationship after a couple of years or when they have made signifigant progress with their personal devleopment. If this is so, the end should be made as harmonious as possible, because it's nobody's fault, from a spiritual point of view. But please think and meditate seriously about that kind of step! You should not part with your husband or wife out of spontaneous rise of emotion, because you think it will be easier with another partner, or because you think that everything you suffer from is your partner's fault. Also, if you meet someone new, take your time to find out about the truth of this relationship before you step into something that might be very difficult. Consulting an oracle or attending a couple of spiritual counseling sesions will help you to find out what is right and what is wrong for you at the given time. Keep in mind that if, after having analyzed your situation in depth from a spiritual point of view, you find that you met a dual soul, you will never forgive yourself if you don't relate to him or her. Some facts that may help you to identify a dual soul ... * You really fit each other-- even with things you never expected to be understood by another person. * You read each other's thoughts and emotions, more or less. * You know if the other feels very good or bad-- even over a long distance. * You discover a completely new kind of extremely loving and fulfilling sexuality. * Sexuality enters a new dimension-- even thinking about the other one or your hands meeting sends thrills through your whole body. * Often, explicit sexuality is not needed-- but also not avoided-- because it is so completely satisfying to lie together and hold each other. * It is no problem to be together and say nothing for a long time. Because the love is so strong, words are not needed. * There is virtually no misunderstanding in your communication with each other. * Unlike what happens in loving relationships with partners who are not dual souls, you will notice that the more you open up, the more it is obvious that the both of you are a total match! * There is no jealousy or grief. * It doesn't matter where you are-- if your partner is there, the world is a wonderful place. * New talents of both of you are revealed. * Your partner cares for you, suffers with you, and is happy together with you without giving up her or his own needs, personality, and path. * Your partner will not hurt you conciously. You might have experienced some or all of these points with someone. But with a dual soul, these points are present all the time! But we need to discuss this concept a little bit more to avoid misunderstanding: There is not only one dual soul for you out there, because when you incarnated, it wasn't decided which one of the many ways to live you would choose! Your dual souls are also working to find and follow their spiritual paths. And because free will was given to people by the Creator and the future is not fixed, it would be very difficult to find a dual soul if there were only one out there for you! If you find a dual soul but he or she has not yet managed to walk the individual spiritual path, you will not be very happy if you try to establish a loving relationship. The situation could even turn out to be a disaster if your partner goes on blocking his or her spiritual evolution. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group feh continued Posted by [1106]slf on Mon Feb 21 2005 19:58 ([1107]got somethin to say?) ([1108]Link) I woke up at 5pm. All I can really think of doing is layin in bed indefinitely. Its pretty messed up. I am losing my mind kinda. Only from a lack of my center, a lack of any pillar to lean on, and my keystone pretty much AWOL. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. This is another one of those times where I am invincible usually but for some reason could snap like a twig if I were looked at wrong. ..slf agh Posted by [1109]slf on Mon Feb 21 2005 19:54 ([1110]got somethin to say?) ([1111]Link) I am so fuckin lonely. ..slf extreme depression Posted by [1112]slf on Mon Feb 21 2005 19:40 ([1113]got somethin to say?) ([1114]Link) i am currently suffering from pretty extreme depression. the news from last night, the exchange with sarita this morning... "If you truely weighed all the information, mine and yours, fully, 100%, from your perspective, and my perspective, and orion's perspective, and you're family's perspective, and my family's perspective, you would not come to the conclusion you are at now. that is called a judgement, the 9. :(" i'm just running out of options, and i'm running out of energy, hope, time, luck, faith, choices, food, everything. i hope i have left enough footprints and it gets worse.. Posted by [1115]slf on Mon Feb 21 2005 01:15 ([1116]got somethin to say?) ([1117]Link) 1. Why did you send this to me? 2. Why are you making me out to be a monster after everything you put me through? 3. Why are you spouting off our personal buisness to a total stranger? 4. Why are you claiming I tried to kill you? Where are all those bruises and gashes you spoke of? Do you have any scars? 5. What the hell gives you the right to use my real name? I prefer that you do not refer to me as Sarita. "my ex" would do just fine. Don't talk about me to people anymore. I have enough respect for you not to mention your shortcomings to people you don't know, and I would appreciate the same courtesy from you. --Sarita 1. Isin't that the most irrelevant question to ask? 2. What you are doing to me now, and the tears I am crying right now, and the sobs I am sobbing right now, and the sorrow you are putting me through now. 3. Because you wont listen to my words, my words aren't good enough to the woman I love more than life itself. And I have allways been a man of my word. 4. 1) You did try to kill me. Broken ribs, remember? 2) The police took detailed photographs of said pictures corroborating my story nearly 3 hours after being arrested, you had no visible injuries at all. I had visible injuries on the spot that got worse. 3) Plenty. 5. The same thing that gives you the right to use my real name. And you hurt me so much, even right now. I just got bad news that my rent is no longer covered for this month and I now immerse myself into sleep teary eyed and hopeless. Refer to #4 Refer to #3 Refer to #2 Refer to #1 please for the love of god read http://dreamscape.org/swim/ from the bottom to the top I have attached a copy of every email we exchanged from the date that we were together until the date of the court case as well, I never spoke a hurtful word to you or something that wasn't positive in some way or constructive in some way. I love you so much, you are so ungrateful :( I am so vulnerable without you I am so lost without you I am dying without you --Steven before I lay down for sleep, I love you and I have been in love with you since the day I met you my bittersweet little princess. And I love you too my beautiful son Orion ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley, except when i'm heartbroken Oh shit Posted by [1118]slf on Mon Feb 21 2005 01:08 ([1119]got somethin to say?) ([1120]Link) I started crying when I saw this picture. I really started crying when I listened to karma slave. I kept crying when I listened to bittersweetsymphony's breakdown trance song. I really was crying again when I heard the Dont Smile song. And I just had to laugh at myself and cry on a whole new level when I heard the Castle In a Cloud song. I felt so empty and so lonely. And then I lit a candle and held it in the palm of my hands and walked outside, down the hall to the mailbox, and as I got to the stairs, I got distracted and the candle blew out. I proceded down the stairs and got to the mailbox and opened it up to get 3 pieces of bad news for me, and 1 piece of bad news for Sarita. I opened the letter from the EDD to exasperatedly say "Oh shit." And suddenly that emptiness turned into hopelessness as I learned my rent would not be covered this month. Just great. I'm all out of ideas and I'm all out of tears. Bittersweet dreams. *sob* a candle in the wind and the rain Posted by [1121]slf on Sun Feb 20 2005 23:28 ([1122]got somethin to say?) ([1123]Link) I had this candle that I set on the handle of the door outside, this candle that just kept going out, and I set it on the corner of the terrace ledge and lit it, and it seemed to go out for no reason. No raindrops fell on it, and the flame didn't whisk it in a way that it was the wind. I figured I'd give it a go at something... I just kept a candle lit with my mind... A candle blowing in the wind... In the rain... I asked it to stay aflame... Encouraged it to stay aflame... I sheltered it mentally to stay aflame... I thanked it for staying aflame... I let it know that I appreciated it showing me it would stay aflame... I told it thank you, and said it would be okay for it to go out now... I wished it goodbye... And it blew out. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group Math that definitely writes math that definitely keeps writing math! Posted by [1124]slf on Sun Feb 20 2005 22:31 ([1125]got somethin to say?) ([1126]Link) (slf) look (slf) there is math in the math (slf) $position = shift or die 'what position do we begin with?n'; (slf) # Notice how we until to the 0... [ to get something we can subtract 1 from! ] (slf) # We subtract by 1.. [ to get something we can divide by! ] (slf) # We divide by 2.. [ to get something we can ... ] (slf) until ($next eq 0) (slf) { (slf) $iteration++; (slf) $next -= 1; (slf) $next /= 2; (slf) $position = $next; (slf) print "$iteration: $positionn"; (slf) } (slf) For the simplest MINUS 1 MINUS ITSELF (slf) There are such for every single thing in: [my last posting below this, for all of the 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 kinds of stuff listed below! HOW INTERESTING INDEED!] Math that definitely writes math that definitely keeps writing math! ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group geometry for numerology Posted by [1127]slf on Sun Feb 20 2005 22:04 ([1128]got somethin to say?) ([1129]Link) /usr/games/astrolog to the research rescue! 1 is something which exists, reaching out for something 2 is the opposition, reaching to multiply and seeking a square with something 3 is two oppositions becoming a union, seeking to create trines with something. 4 is the trine, the connection of any three things, seeking to create sextiles with something. And so on and so forth! Math writing math until we don't exactly have words for it - YET! No. Name Abbrev. Angle Orb Description of glyph 1 Conjunct (Con) 0.00 +/- 7 degrees - Circle with extending line 2 Opposite (Opp) 180.00 +/- 7 degrees - Two circles joined by line 3 Square (Squ) 90.00 +/- 7 degrees - Quadrilateral 4 Trine (Tri) 120.00 +/- 7 degrees - Triangle 5 Sextile (Sex) 60.00 +/- 6 degrees - Six pointed asterisk 6 Inconjunct (Inc) 150.00 +/- 3 degrees - 'K' rotated right 7 Semisextile (SSx) 30.00 +/- 3 degrees - 'K' rotated left 8 Semisquare (SSq) 45.00 +/- 3 degrees - Acute angle 9 Sesquiquadrate (Ses) 135.00 +/- 3 degrees - Square with extending lines 10 Quintile (Qui) 72.00 +/- 2 degrees - Letter 'Q' 11 Biquintile (BQn) 144.00 +/- 2 degrees - '+' over '-' 12 Semiquintile (SQn) 36.00 +/- 1 degrees - '-' over '+' 13 Septile (Sep) 51.43 +/- 1 degrees - Number '7' 14 Novile (Nov) 40.00 +/- 1 degrees - Number '9' 15 Binovile (BNv) 80.00 +/- 1 degrees - '9' under Roman 'II' 16 Biseptile (BSp) 102.86 +/- 1 degrees - '7' under Roman 'II' 17 Triseptile (TSp) 154.29 +/- 1 degrees - '7' under Roman 'III' 18 Quatronovile (QNv) 160.00 +/- 1 degrees - '9' under Roman 'IV' ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group pachinko boulders comin right atcha Posted by [1130]slf on Sun Feb 20 2005 21:19 ([1131]got somethin to say?) ([1132]Link) (slf) you know now that I really think about it, al gore really did create the internet. as much as you or i did. ;) (slf) literally, and in more ways than one. ;) (slf) also, using http://dreamscape.org/code/tdpc-color2 to visualize the two phoenomenon, you can generate pings with -i .1111, etc against a host with no background noise. and the ms response time is a visualization of something too. (slf) the last letter before the time change is special and relevant. (slf) creating certain conditions on the line cause special properties to be displayed in the representation stream (slf) ... (slf) money isin't the root of all evil (slf) contrary to the illuminati references on the dollar... (slf) numbers are the root of all evil, numbers gets evil and *then* money, numbers also created good and *then* evil. (slf) numbers are pretty much the root of everything. (slf) it is so amazing to see the story of creation rinsed and repeated over and over and over again so many times. (slf) people at taco bravo were saying (behind my back about me, to me) "he knows about numerology." and I turned around and pressed my hands together in the shape of a pyramid, or a prayer.. And nodded to them, and grinned. (slf) They knew I was a prophet. (slf) They did all the talking. (slf) Without me saying a thing. Remember the movie fallen? What if handshakes, touching objects, feeling at someone, and looking at someone were all methods of union? Gotta love pachinko machines. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group I love you Orion Fountain - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1133]slf on Sun Feb 20 2005 20:56 ([1134]got somethin to say?) ([1135]Link) Daddy loves you very much little one. ..slf footprints for looking for properties Posted by [1136]slf on Sun Feb 20 2005 17:47 ([1137]got somethin to say?) ([1138]Link) Black White Grey area Silver... Luminosity, Refractivity, REFLECTION! Radiation! Absorption! Note! Velocity! Speed! Origin Location Position PERSPECTIVE - FROM HERE, FROM THERE, FROM IN THERE, FROM OUT THERE Pathing - Going there from here Pathing - Going back here from there Neighbors and their properties. (in a 3x3 cube and u are the middle what's goin on around you? Why must it only be a 3 dimensional cube?) TIME - VARIATION OF POSSABILITIES!!!!!!!!!!!!! Energy. Action. EFFECT! CAUSE! ... this is the door... u fill in the blank and keep goin... AGGREGATION! ..slf just gauging the reaction Posted by [1139]slf on Sun Feb 20 2005 17:29 ([1140]got somethin to say?) ([1141]Link) I haven't even said a word to anyone in my complex and I already started a revolution. Apparently! viva resistance! Neat. ..slf just now Posted by [1142]slf on Sun Feb 20 2005 17:27 ([1143]got somethin to say?) ([1144]Link) A good hearted man preached in the parking lot the world is in good hands with that one Rinsed and repeated, expanded and expletive... It it aint grey area anymore, IS IT?... The pythagorian theorum is directly related to word relation. Any calculus formula applied systematicly and consistently in a repeated form. 1: Nothingness - undef 2: Existance - 0 3: Black and white - 0 and 1 4: Grey area - 0..1 5: Luminosity, refractivity, REFLECTION (theres a lot more..) 6: RADIATION 7: DESTINATION 8: EXPANSION 9: WEIGHT OR JUDGEMENT and so on and so forth.... literally and in so many fucking more ways than one you are most definitely drowning in them. Gracias! ..slf he said something to me that made me think Posted by [1145]slf on Sun Feb 20 2005 16:49 ([1146]got somethin to say?) ([1147]Link) He said to me "why don't you take that NIGGER shit some where else!" and a bunch of other racist shit. Makin me think like all of a sudden I'm fighting racism. I'm white dumbass! It aint just black and white anymore and it aint just grey area anymore. Such as luminosity and refractivity and REFLECTION! And I said to him: "Funny you should say that. Brotherly love is 100%, not 99%" ( you know what happened to Albert Pike, right? ) I forgave the guy, but he lost my respect ... For now... stranger things have happened ..slf the guy downstairs kept trying to fight me Posted by [1148]slf on Sun Feb 20 2005 15:51 ([1149]got somethin to say?) ([1150]Link) I have to be able to play music in at LEAST one room of my house, and the little girl next door tried to kill me with propane and I had to air that shit out. And my downstairs neighbor comes upstairs and picks a fight with me. I LIVE HERE AND I JUST SAVED YOUR FUCKING LIFE, THE GIRL NEXT DOOR TRIED TO KILL ME AND ALL I WANT YOU TO DO IS MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS, GIVE ME SOME RESPECT IN *MY* HOUSE, AND LET ME PLAY MY MUSIC IN AT LEAST ONE ROOM IN MY FUCKING HOUSE. He still wanted to kick my ass. Dumbass. Did you hear me I JUST SAVED YOUR LIFE! Ungrateful pinche. ok that's two attempts to injure me so far today by other people. The guy from downstairs wanted to touch me, I wouldn't go outside. I AM OUTSIDE FUCKHEAD THIS IS MYYYYY PORCH I LIVE HERE u kno damn well how f'ing beat u would be if u busted into my house ID TAKE IT RIGHT BACK AND SPIT ON YOU! Some things are given, not taken. Shithead. Like my respect. And u lost it. go get in touch with yourself and i'll get back to you on that one. ..slf [1151]Read More... (2 comments) holy shit Posted by [1152]slf on Sun Feb 20 2005 15:20 ([1153]got somethin to say?) ([1154]Link) The little girl named Sarita next door tried turned the gas main on and went inside and fumes blew into my house until they were really strong. I asked a lady if it smelled like gas? Huh she said quickly DOES IT SMELL LIKE GAS yes she said SO I HOPPED OVER THE FUCKING FENCE, triangulated it, and found the source of the concentration. I BANGED ON THE NEIGHBORS DOOR Yo the whole building is going to BLOW THE FUCK UP unless you turn off yo stove ! Turn off your damn stove ! Yo daughter aint supppsed to be out here TRYING TO KILL ME LIKE THAT WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING tell yo daughter to go the fuck inside and STAY THERE and to NOT come out here anymore or for awhile. Tell her to stop messing with the things she doesn't understand - yet. And keep her the fuck away from me. the whole damn building almost blew up! good thing I didn't take a nap, huh? Or go to the store, hmmmmm? ..slf rinsed and repeated expanded and expletive Posted by [1155]slf on Sun Feb 20 2005 14:54 ([1156]got somethin to say?) ([1157]Link) That does(!!) give new meaning to OLD SCHOOL ..slf numerology takes a new meaning - thanks philosophy for clowning me when I already had u by the balls Posted by [1158]slf on Sun Feb 20 2005 14:36 ([1159]got somethin to say?) ([1160]Link) Wow. 1 object as a hypothesis. Question three. Haha! Conclusion if it is (do somethin), conclusion if it aint (do somethin), not nessicarily in that order or exclusively like that. Shit I get what the 1 the 2 the 3 the 7 the 5 and I got a hint of the 9 to come... Holy shit - that explains the 1 the 2 and the 3, and later the pattern that kicks down with the 7 the 5 the 3 the 2 and the 1 hinting at what's to come for the 9... wow it almost explains why I got kicked out of philosophy because I allready had 1. I didn't come there looking for 1. I had at least...oh I don't know... THREE so he was like ok u got the LOGO program - I can dig it he was saying under the veil. (the class didn't know - or me at the time either - bwahaha) now go get the hell out of here rinse and repeat!!! ..slf guess what this means Posted by [1161]slf on Sun Feb 20 2005 14:23 ([1162]got somethin to say?) ([1163]Link) The pen is mightier than the sword, and TIME .. -- apparently! ..slf it could happen Posted by [1164]slf on Sun Feb 20 2005 14:18 ([1165]got somethin to say?) ([1166]Link) Wow its like a ghost, because they wrote this thing, and it came to life, and now I'm doing it... And now its like what is on this piece of paper, in these words, in this music, in these meanings, has given rise to the conciousness of something after it is here. It didn't have to be specific why. It could be generally going in a direction. How do I know what guides my pen ...? MAN! Leave it to the fuckin picses when: The sun switches into picses and I start prophesizing! I know it may sound crazy to you now but it wasn't to me when I remarked upon it after the fact at the time. 12:00 baby It could happen... ..slf thank you Posted by [1167]slf on Sun Feb 20 2005 14:10 ([1168]got somethin to say?) ([1169]Link) Thank you for guiding my pen... ..slf excellent Posted by [1170]slf on Sun Feb 20 2005 14:06 ([1171]got somethin to say?) ([1172]Link) Remember images of the cats, staring at one another? The cats allways for the other two reasons. Symbolically as a gate they could see through/to/you... Maybe Los Gatos (The Cats) being right next to campbell is SUPPOSED to be Mmm Mmm good! Meow meow meow meow! ..slf everytime I recall a quote I am full of laughter Posted by [1173]slf on Sun Feb 20 2005 14:03 ([1174]got somethin to say?) ([1175]Link) "Pretty much all I do is herd cats all day. "MAN! That's like herding cats!" (me n scott (msn - ha ha)) Cats allways got the other two reasons. The other two answers... "I'm huge, Bring me a yak." "I'M HUGE! BRING ME A YAK." "BRING ME A YAK, I'M HUGE!" (++ mike myers from multiple.org) Icon. Yo, you had it from day one man. You really did. You opened my eyes. Even if I didn't see it at the time or know why I liked it so much at the time. Now I know it at this point in time... ..slf heh heh Posted by [1176]slf on Sun Feb 20 2005 13:34 ([1177]got somethin to say?) ([1178]Link) Woah! You just keep sending the message in the way that you want, repeating the instruction over and over until it appears, or until the receiver acknowledges receiving it, or until the receiver claims to understand it, the receiver sees it happen, and the receiver has a good idea what it does, and the receiver has a pretty sure idea what it does... ... Damn this shits like snaps for dumb people even ME!!! at one point haha! This is one huge secret and one huge club and I see where this goes. Only who says I have to respect the veil? Removing veils -- digging into veils is just about important as... Illusion in the veils and images that you create... Not anymore! Come on give the kids the keys to the factory don't just keep them in your store FOREVER yo. Don't just give them a TASTE of the pie. Don't just give them pies for a year, do whatever it takes to allow them to make the pie themselves and how to create the resources they require! Until the next episode. ..slf how long have you been living here anyway? Posted by [1179]slf on Sun Feb 20 2005 12:39 ([1180]got somethin to say?) ([1181]Link) I was asked a question: "How long have you been living here anyway?" And I replied: "Probably about nine months." ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group I'll hold that for you. Enjoy the flight. Posted by [1182]slf on Sun Feb 20 2005 01:41 ([1183]got somethin to say?) ([1184]Link) Self writing Self routing Self rewriting Self originating Self guiding... Guideline! No really. a GUIDE line. Leave it to the math to figure out how to waste its own time figuring out how to do it safely and efficiently. It's worth the extra cycles to get it right. The message and the knowledge can write themselves creativity as we know it on this day has been chiseled and etched back to its greatest potential. Much love to LOGO - much love be goin to the turtle walkin so freely Much love to every song artist I have ever been inspired or blessed by - much love be goin to the beat u be bumpin on my emotions so freely Much love to Stephen Wolfram! Howwwwwwwwwwwwwl brutha! Thank u for coining and making computational everything possible about anything possible real imaginary and understood. - much the math that you have given so freely Much love to perl, my righteous ak47 of string theory. Much love to you the reader. Much love to you Sarita. From the sinceerest depths of my heart, -- Steven "holy shit I did it" Fountain! No growth, without assistance. Ok, check - got it. Thank u crouching tiger for helping me help myself. No action, without reaction. Ok, check!!! - are we there yet? No desire, without restraint. Ok, check! glad to have you aboard as the official concience! Glad its u --your rules! Your game, thank you for letting me play responsibly. No reset button. Ok, I can dig it. BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR! KNOW YOURSELF HONOR EXISTANCE the truth is out there literally and in so many fucking more damn ways than one you are probably drowning in them! (you're kidding me?!?!?! Far from it. There are a lot of words in VILIFIED and you u might want to check out as many of them as you plan on staying away from.) Werd up ATMOSPHERE! Werd up Slug! Werd up Eyedea! Werd up DJ Abilities! Werd up Murs! Holla holla right back at u, ur message has been received, observed, processed, assimilated, mutilated, altered, artisticly, I might add... mathematically too, I might add... Rinsed and repeated, expanded and expletive I find myself asking... Is this a game, or is it real? WHATS THE DIFFERENCE? .. .. .. Jim, DCS is tracking over 300 inbound soviet ICBM's! Flush the bombers. Get the subs in launch mode. We are at defcon one. ... ..., ... Rrrriiiiiiiggggghhhhhtttttt bbbbbaaaaacccccccckkkkkkkk aaaaaatttttttccccccchhhhhhhaaaaaaa! H1111111111111111111111111! If ignorance were a crime, you would be in prison, and I would be libeating you. Not finishing what you started (such as educating us...) is the real evil on your shoulder. Here, let me carry that for you. I'll hold that for you, i'll help out with that for you, thanks for letting me get through to you.................. the extrapolated meaning of my name - the name I now live up to Posted by [1185]slf on Sun Feb 20 2005 00:37 ([1186]got somethin to say?) ([1187]Link) slf - similar to self as in self as in self fufilling as in self fufilling ... steven - crowned loren - double meaning - lore - and loren (gold) fountain - double meaning - HEALER -literally *** and in more ways than one... an actual fountain in a.... ... steven loren fountain - crowned lore healer crowned gold healer - gold is #1 - #1 is the best - not silver bullets - go take 2 #2's and call me in the morning... JUST BEEEECAUSE! crowned lore fountain of ...? Exactly. Literally and in more ways than one. In fact, in every possible way. Literally, and in more ways than one. And so on and so on and so forth. Forever. The healer lives up to his name. And he understands the potential meaning it carried even though he did not know what it was..... And now ya'll will keep doing it FOREVER JUST BECAUUUUUUUUUUSEEEEE (AH!) IT IS THE FLOW THAT NEVER ENDS! IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIEND! SOME DAY SOME PEOPLE JUST STARTED IT, NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS... AND THEY'LL KEEP CONTINUING SINGING AND DOING AND AUTOMATING IT FOR THE FORCES OF NATURE FROM HERE ON OUT F'ING DMAN IT YOUR WELCOME HERE U GO BEEEEEEECAUUUUUSEE... (ok next time around... suppose the current line and continue after the chorus ok??? U can do it I believe in u! Just be careful OK because...!!!!!!! ) Rinse and repeat! IT WAS THE FLOW THAT WAS DANGEROUS TO BEGIN WITH.. U SHOULDNT HAVE MESSED WITH THINGS U DIDNT BEGIN WITH - BBBBUUUT, YOU DID BEGIN WITH IT SO YOU CAN KEEP ON DOING IT FOREVER JUST BECAUSE IT IS THE FLOW THAT NEVER ENDS IT JUST GOES ON AND ON MY FRIEND SOME DAY SOOOOMMMEE PEOPLE JUST STARTED SINGGGGING IT, NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS... AND THEY'LL KEEP CONTINUING SINGING AND DOING AND AUTOMATING IT FOR THE FORCES OF NATURE FROM HERE ON OUT F'ING DMAN IT YOUR WELCOME HERE U GO (JUST) BEEEEEEECAUUUUUSEE... 1111 ..slf (i knew there was a reason that damn song was so repetitive and so damn redundant and so damn infectious - that is one question mark of why that song was so popular - don't tell me you've never heard of it or something like it before... No, seriously. Don't tell me. Tell them. What are you waiting for. (typety typety)(clicks send) continue transmission, perpetually, forever survival Posted by [1188]slf on Sun Feb 20 2005 00:15 ([1189]got somethin to say?) ([1190]Link) Permutation, Selection, Evolution = Survival !!!!!!!!!!! and there you have it. a great secret that... you were destined to posess all along. 3 turns into 1. Do you understand the signifigance of this? Do you understand the POWER of this? In Jeff (krzee)'s words: DID YOU ASK FOR THIS? If not you best go back to yo late in the game turtle action. With great power comes great responsibility. With great power comes great levels of involvement. 3 was: great responsibility which became: 'levels of involvement' the cat is OUT of the bag now that's for damn sure - be free! Be fr333333333*coughcoughchoke* Numerology DOES explain logic and reason and great mystery DEFINITELY lies ahead developing this one. ...before we see about that one! Ahahahaha I did it! Thank you for showing me the door, thank you for showing me the road, thank you for giving me a good idea where to go - EVERYWHERE! The lies didn't scar and the truth is WONDERFUL! ..slf welcome to the new aquarian age - I am the 1 1 1 1 Posted by [1191]slf on Sat Feb 19 2005 23:31 ([1192]got somethin to say?) ([1193]Link) Welcome to the new aquarian age. (Sorry about the 23.88 year old delay, I didn't know what I was doing - yet.) Where do we go from here? (not where do we go today) (where do we go FROM HERE) (where do we go TOMORROW) (not how we keep you here today) (not how do we PREVENT YOU FROM LEAVING HERE) (NOT HOW DO WE PREVENT YOU FROM **EVER** LEAVING HERE) and so it begins. It becomes more structured logic weaves from this point on - logically explain it using opposites or counter imagery that advances the topic to new questions and new answers. ..slf progressive funny ironic relative - the beginnings of computational flow and reason and intuition and root cause analysis - holy shit, mon Posted by [1194]slf on Sat Feb 19 2005 23:15 ([1195]got somethin to say?) ([1196]Link) 1: related to: literally more ways than one 2: progressive funny ironic relative 3: you did this why? did you change the (song/theme/image)? [any organic change in the image/theme/relation will add a special meaning] 4: a (question/hypothesis/theory) - ask me one here! 5: anything you imagine anything that you have the vocabulary to explain or describe 6: a list with two items and then a list with four items and then a question and then anything that you have the vocabulary to explain or describe, -- and now that you have coined what we are supposed to do in this fashion. Rinse and repeat. 7: If somebody can't see family feud and thought progression from the eyes and the position of the target, the targets keys, your position, and the position of everybody else then YOU AINT IN ON IT --- YET any meta meaning of any reason expanded over something that could happen or would happen and cause openings for a result. The veil. It is there even though you can't see it - YET Even if you don't know how many secret veils it has - YET Even if you don't know how valuable it is - YET Even if you don't have a easy way to make it practical - YET Even though you don't TAKE IT SERIOUSLY - YET Even if you don't have the OTHER TWO REASONS - YET EVEN IF YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO DEFINE THE LANGUAGE - YET Going inside or outside the meaning. Answering your own question later. Imagine what happens next. You can do it! (encourage the listener/victim/broadcaster) It aint hard! (anybody can do it if they believe in you) I believe in you! (see I helped you believe in yourself! That comes first... Then...) Any 3 words Any 3 sounds Any -- - holy shit look at the thread identifier number 3 ! if something eventually fits that! What wonder is in store! Can you do it to the gaps to match the beat? (its not just anything! See there can be plot twists that affect the rules! Even if you don't see them yet!) Can you roll it over the end? (ALLWAYS THROW BOULDERS IF YOU CAN OR UNIQUELY CHOOSE WHEN TO - as slug puts it: throwing boulders................) Rinse this entire procedure and repeat it. Serve however you like it - hot warm chilled cold frozen hella-yummie! (5 words in a list changing state and then reaching a progressive opposite/outside meaning of the first word in the set of 5) Dude! (is a sword of insertion, has many meanings, like the word fuck, or fuck fuck fuck, something for everybody and they mama - thanks bless hehe) Check you later. (You make commentary that might actually be a prelude to something funny that will happen later. Foreshadowing.) Wow funny how that works - I didn't realize that the author is destined to benefit just as much as the reader/listener/audience. Shit! That's funny too. Poor rich people!!! Shit this is so interesting that I can't tear myself away from it ..slf the patterns within the patterns - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1197]slf on Sat Feb 19 2005 16:28 ([1198]got somethin to say?) ([1199]Link) Check it. This is [1200]http://dreamscape.org/visualization.jpg And the program which is making this happen is: [1201]http://dreamscape.org/code/tdpc-color2 It all started originally with but a simple blinky light detector visualization tool. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group levitatin all the way to the top with lev o roni Posted by [1202]slf on Sat Feb 19 2005 15:50 ([1203]got somethin to say?) ([1204]Link) (14:01:24) krsdsc: hi (14:01:27) krsdsc: how do i kno u? (14:01:43) krsdsc: [i knew u between 99 and 2002-2003ish] (14:02:26) Lev o roni: ohhh (14:02:29) Lev o roni: Dreamscape (14:02:39) Lev o roni: i asked u for hosting or a question (14:02:40) Lev o roni: i forget (14:02:52) Lev o roni: but i remember ur sn and ur website (14:03:43) krsdsc: oh kew (14:03:48) krsdsc: http://dreamscape.org/swim/ *bow* (14:03:54) krsdsc: i can rap now, check it ;) (14:03:56) krsdsc: u can rap too (14:04:02) krsdsc: if u lookit the string theory (14:04:06) krsdsc: and the articles i wrote right after it (14:04:07) krsdsc: ;) (14:04:11) krsdsc: [ive had too much time on my hands] (14:04:19) Lev o roni: hahaha (14:04:33) krsdsc: :) ok well cool shit (14:04:45) krsdsc: its a big journal (14:04:58) krsdsc: but if you scroll down until u see the 10 pictures i photo-copied from my notebook (14:05:02) krsdsc: its really easy to visualize (14:05:14) krsdsc: and all of a sudden everything will look like numerology and math to u (14:05:15) krsdsc: ;) (14:07:22) Lev o roni: you're crazy (14:07:26) Lev o roni: haha (14:07:35) krsdsc: the unknown usually is (14:07:45) krsdsc: scary, too (14:07:50) Lev o roni: haha, you're fucking smart man (14:07:52) Lev o roni: scary smart (14:08:00) krsdsc: yesh, its very alienating (14:08:06) krsdsc: thats why i had to learn how to communicate superiorly (14:08:26) krsdsc: this thing i just wrote is leet (14:08:34) krsdsc: http://dreamscape.org/code/tdpc-color2 (14:08:41) krsdsc: it visualizes network traffic into two things (14:08:51) krsdsc: it shows you when 1 second has passed (14:09:16) krsdsc: or 2 seconds, or 9, or a (is actually 10), b, c, d, e ..... all the way to z (actually 35 (not 36 since i didnt have no 0)) (14:09:20) krsdsc: and (14:09:30) krsdsc: it encodes each packet between that delay (14:09:38) krsdsc: to also visualize using the same encoding logic (14:09:42) krsdsc: AND THE RESULT IS (14:09:52) krsdsc: pythagorian theorums and pretty looking shapes and colors (14:09:55) krsdsc: music. (14:09:56) krsdsc: verses. (14:10:00) krsdsc: art. (14:10:08) krsdsc: all from visualizing 2 things about some packets (14:10:18) krsdsc: [it all started out as a blinky light detector] (14:10:57) Lev o roni: thats tight (14:11:08) Lev o roni: so it generates music? (14:11:13) krsdsc: much more than that (14:11:19) krsdsc: math generates math (14:11:24) krsdsc: which is many things (14:12:49) Lev o roni: you program for a living:? (14:13:06) krsdsc: i was a sysop (14:13:08) krsdsc: running a bbs (14:13:11) krsdsc: who became a unix admin (14:13:13) krsdsc: running a unix box (14:13:26) krsdsc: who became a telco starter (i founded many ISP's) (14:13:38) krsdsc: who ended up workin down the ladder (14:13:41) krsdsc: and takin a shitter lowlier job (14:13:50) krsdsc: as a NOC technician (14:14:03) Lev o roni: but you still bank right? (14:14:05) krsdsc: where i shortly thereafter became a senior backend solaris administrator. For microsoft. (14:14:12) Lev o roni: ohhh (14:14:14) krsdsc: I didn't get along with microsoft culture well. (14:14:26) krsdsc: i made 2x as much money at the next place *AND* took over my boss's job (14:14:35) krsdsc: at some other company (14:14:38) krsdsc: stayed there for a year (14:14:40) Lev o roni: damn (14:14:46) krsdsc: they screwed me 1 week before i got my stock (14:14:57) krsdsc: [and they screwed the only guy who ever worked for me, who hung himself from a tree] (14:14:57) Lev o roni: now thats bullshit (14:15:01) krsdsc: .. (14:15:03) krsdsc: heh (14:15:08) Lev o roni: whatt (14:15:09) krsdsc: so i went to work for napster (14:15:15) krsdsc: the day metallica showed up in the limo (14:15:20) krsdsc: to deliver the 600,000 lawsuits n shit (14:15:26) krsdsc: feh (14:15:28) krsdsc: what fuckin luck (14:15:41) krsdsc: I lived with napster's entire mac dept (14:15:44) krsdsc: he bounced on the house (14:15:46) Lev o roni: damn, that is some shit luck (14:15:49) krsdsc: jordan ritter is the shit (14:15:51) krsdsc: ali is the shit (14:15:59) krsdsc: tobin brockett (2nd napster sysadm) is the shit (14:16:05) krsdsc: all the mac guys are the shit (14:16:13) krsdsc: even scott parker did something to help make shawn fannings dream happen (14:16:15) krsdsc: Shawn fanning however (14:16:20) krsdsc: he liked underage rave girls (14:16:27) Lev o roni: haha (14:16:30) krsdsc: never did a single fucking thing the entire time i was there but take GQ modeling shots (14:16:36) krsdsc: and play his guitar and buy people cars (14:16:42) krsdsc: he made his scrilla i suppose (14:16:48) krsdsc: So (14:16:52) Lev o roni: what do you do now (14:16:55) krsdsc: when napster went down (14:16:57) krsdsc: I lived in the cages (14:17:06) krsdsc: everybody and they grandmama and granddaddy and mama's mama's mama's (14:17:13) krsdsc: was leechin the mp3's like crack (14:17:18) krsdsc: thinkin they wasn't gonna get it anywhere ever again (14:17:21) krsdsc: Ooooooh! illegal! (14:17:22) krsdsc: haha (14:17:27) krsdsc: and i went down with the ship. (14:17:37) krsdsc: And I wasn't there for the lady I was *IN LOVE* with (14:17:39) krsdsc: because I had obligations (14:17:44) krsdsc: and she dumped me (14:17:54) Lev o roni: wait, so u went to jail (14:18:00) krsdsc: and I was so depressed [i was already sick too from the ionized air] (14:18:04) krsdsc: worse (14:18:07) krsdsc: i went to jack in the box! (14:18:15) krsdsc: and bought an ultimate cheeseburger with the ultimate ecoli (14:18:21) krsdsc: and almost died (14:18:25) Lev o roni: ya (14:18:26) krsdsc: and they quarantined me in shit (14:18:29) Lev o roni: jack in the bo (14:18:30) Lev o roni: x (14:18:30) krsdsc: and nobody would pick me up (14:18:32) Lev o roni: is deadly (14:18:41) krsdsc: my "FRIENDS" were throwing a party at my 4000$/mo house (14:18:42) krsdsc: without me (14:18:43) Lev o roni: i heard people die from that stuff before in cali (14:18:45) krsdsc: with my car parked in the driveway (14:18:50) krsdsc: ya i almost did (14:18:55) krsdsc: and I came back (14:18:57) krsdsc: ate a cheeseburger (14:19:03) krsdsc: and ran their damn party because they wuz incompotent (14:19:07) krsdsc: miracle recovery. (14:19:09) krsdsc: however. (14:19:13) Lev o roni: haha (14:19:19) krsdsc: my first girlfriend cheated on me with my first boyfriend (14:19:28) krsdsc: and so the naturally got as far away as fucking possible from me (14:19:31) Lev o roni: oh ya? (14:19:34) krsdsc: and so i sanctioned their relationship (14:19:38) krsdsc: Suddenly it wasn't so forbidden anymore (14:19:46) krsdsc: And naturally he stopped persuing her. (14:20:00) krsdsc: [she became a 2 dollar internet ho, a stripper, and the mascot at red robin wearing red tights in the chicken suit] (14:20:08) krsdsc: *he* is the guy who killed himself from a tree. (14:20:09) krsdsc: So. (14:20:12) Lev o roni: i think i saw her once (14:20:13) krsdsc: I did alot of soul searching. (14:20:16) krsdsc: I lost my cat n shit (14:20:17) krsdsc: hillary (14:20:21) krsdsc: ya (14:20:25) Lev o roni: thats rough (14:20:30) krsdsc: And she never stepped foot in cali ever again (14:20:32) krsdsc: Neither did he (14:20:44) krsdsc: even tho he never owned up to the drama he caused to EVERYBODY who ever knew him (14:20:52) krsdsc: I went to work for excite@home (14:20:59) krsdsc: as a systems architect (14:21:17) krsdsc: doing this grand radical new build rapid deployment architecture for the entire nation (14:21:25) krsdsc: [which AT&T naturally was jocking] (14:21:29) krsdsc: [and trying to assassinate] (14:21:35) Lev o roni: bastards (14:21:41) krsdsc: and they naturally lied to excite@home and duped them into a shady 90 million deal (14:21:45) krsdsc: and wasted all their time (14:21:51) krsdsc: so they couldn't realize (14:21:52) Lev o roni: for info (14:21:59) krsdsc: they tricked excite@home (14:22:03) krsdsc: they defaulted (14:22:06) krsdsc: they lost the fiber network (14:22:11) krsdsc: *beheading* the company (14:22:22) krsdsc: The ENTIRE FUCKING TIME THEY HAD A 400 MILLION DOLLAR LAB UNDERNEATH MY BUILDING ALONE (14:22:25) Lev o roni: att sucks, i'm glad i'm with nextel (14:22:35) krsdsc: So. Idiots, I say (14:22:41) krsdsc: I said fuck it, and went to oregon. (14:22:47) krsdsc: Got my welcome wore out real quick. (14:22:49) krsdsc: Went to chicago. (14:23:05) krsdsc: Ate alot of BBQ and drank alot of beer and macked on alot of italian girls. (14:23:11) krsdsc: and irish girls (14:23:12) krsdsc: heh (14:23:21) Lev o roni: nice, chicago is the shit (14:23:21) krsdsc: naturally got in alot of trouble (14:23:28) krsdsc: because that backfired on me (the italians/irish girls) (14:23:28) Lev o roni: smoke some crack? (14:23:31) krsdsc: nope (14:23:34) Lev o roni: ohh (14:23:34) krsdsc: alotta beer (14:23:36) Lev o roni: AIDS (14:23:39) krsdsc: didn't have that kinda money (14:23:40) krsdsc: nope (14:23:49) krsdsc: we went to detroit (14:23:54) Lev o roni: i live in detroit (14:23:56) krsdsc: to the detroit electronic music festival (14:23:57) krsdsc: leet! (14:24:01) krsdsc: fuck canada is south to u! (14:24:06) krsdsc: i heart dat shit (14:24:07) Lev o roni: ya i know (14:24:10) Lev o roni: but they get the chronic (14:24:15) Lev o roni: so it cancels each other out (14:24:27) krsdsc: I went to DEMF with 3 cig packs full of chroniq joints (14:24:34) krsdsc: but nobody believed me they were chroniq even tho i was tellin them the truth (14:24:43) krsdsc: So naturally I started givin that shit out for free (14:24:55) Lev o roni: ya, thats how u gotta do it in cig packs (14:24:57) krsdsc: And naturally my roommate at the time, who was payin for it, wasn't likin that (14:25:03) Lev o roni: hahah (14:25:04) krsdsc: Sooooo (14:25:08) krsdsc: He met some friend at DEMF (14:25:10) krsdsc: brought him back home (14:25:19) Lev o roni: why does everyone like fuckin u over man (14:25:25) krsdsc: this friend guy brings this practically underage chick into the house (14:25:30) krsdsc: She's all talkin California this California that (14:25:41) krsdsc: and shes saying "Oh Seth (the friend) I want to be your girlfriend! LEts date starting now!" (14:25:45) krsdsc: right after shes jocking me about california (14:25:59) krsdsc: and *THEN* she says right after they get together "Steven, I'm sleeping in YOUR bed tonight, OK?" (14:26:06) krsdsc: So... naturally we end up fucking in the morning (14:26:07) Lev o roni: haha, score (14:26:25) krsdsc: which is exactly the volatile situation I was incapable of anticipating at the time (14:26:30) krsdsc: So... (14:26:35) krsdsc: naturally he kicked me out of the house (14:26:42) krsdsc: And naturally I looted him fuckin blind in the process. (14:26:53) krsdsc: And slept on a cot in front of bassdrive.com's tilted.net servers (14:27:00) krsdsc: And I wrote an essay to modestneeds.org (14:27:03) krsdsc: and my words alone bailed me out (14:27:11) krsdsc: and I got a 250$ trainride to california from chicago (14:27:19) krsdsc: and I made 250$ at tilted.net to pay for beer and shit (14:27:24) krsdsc: So naturally I cleared out the bar (14:27:31) krsdsc: and made some cool friends (14:27:34) krsdsc: http://dreamscape.org/amtrak/ (14:27:44) krsdsc: theres a really cool "The Rail Behind" picture (a joke about the road ahead) (14:27:48) krsdsc: I got so drunk (14:27:56) krsdsc: that i fell asleep in the wrong car (14:27:59) krsdsc: and ended up in seattle (14:28:11) Lev o roni: hahahaha (14:28:11) krsdsc: So naturally Amtrak gave me a free ticket to portland so i could continue my journey. (14:28:17) krsdsc: ;) (14:28:23) krsdsc: and now when I was in portland (14:28:29) krsdsc: my welcome was worn out REALLY REALLY quick this time (14:28:39) krsdsc: and so I drove as fast as I could possibly fuckin drive to california (14:28:45) krsdsc: getting an exhibition of speed ticket (14:28:48) krsdsc: on the way (14:28:50) krsdsc: stopped in vacaville (14:28:52) krsdsc: got smoked out (14:28:54) krsdsc: and kicked out (14:29:01) krsdsc: she was like "welcome to california now get the fuck out" (14:29:07) krsdsc: and i drove to dublin CA (14:29:09) Lev o roni: haha (14:29:17) krsdsc: hung out with these dumbass abercromie fuckers (14:29:22) Lev o roni: hahaha (14:29:32) krsdsc: Naturally, they didnt like the fact that their girls were jocking me. (14:29:47) Lev o roni: so u naturally beat them all upo? (14:29:49) krsdsc: So naturally, they suggested that I cut my long beautiful hair into a short conformist battered housewife. (14:29:59) krsdsc: No actually I let them cut my hair. (14:30:05) Lev o roni: hah (14:30:07) krsdsc: And I went to defcon sportin the baldie dew (14:30:10) krsdsc: like a sacrifice (14:30:18) krsdsc: the first eve of the terrorist shit (14:30:19) krsdsc: fuq it (14:30:24) krsdsc: im superstitious u feel me (14:30:26) krsdsc: those were good ppl (14:30:28) krsdsc: *shrug* (14:30:32) krsdsc: had a blast on that trip too (14:30:35) krsdsc: when i got back (14:30:45) krsdsc: I hooked up with a homey's ex girl who i allways had a crush on (14:30:52) krsdsc: this stanford girl berra (14:30:58) krsdsc: we had a really awesome relationship (14:31:09) krsdsc: until her parents showed up and were secular turkish ppl (14:31:19) krsdsc: translation: racist to white guys (14:31:30) krsdsc: so they sabotauged it, but i held on, beacuse she was a smart girl who listened to reason (14:31:37) krsdsc: And I hooked up with my soul mate (14:31:40) krsdsc: Sarita (14:31:43) krsdsc: who I fathered a son with (14:31:51) krsdsc: and *SHE* extorted my friend kenneth (14:32:00) krsdsc: and *SHE* was there the moment kenneth and her and I all said "Fuck Seraphim" (14:32:04) krsdsc: the night he hung himself from the tree (14:32:12) krsdsc: (all three of us jinxed at the same time u feel me) (14:32:18) krsdsc: they didnt find him for 3 days (14:32:18) Lev o roni: ya (14:32:20) krsdsc: it was very creepy (14:32:25) krsdsc: major psychic wakeup call if u feel me (14:32:35) krsdsc: And my friend just died n shit (14:32:40) krsdsc: and i was in a shitty mood (14:32:42) krsdsc: and under alot of pressure (14:32:46) krsdsc: and under alot of stress (14:32:51) krsdsc: and i was mourning his fuckin death (14:32:55) krsdsc: and workin a miracle contract (14:32:57) Lev o roni: ya man, i feel you (14:32:59) krsdsc: to put diapers in the safe (14:33:09) krsdsc: and she went blasting her music all crazy driving me crazy (14:33:14) krsdsc: practically cost me the job (14:33:18) krsdsc: I got one last chance to finish it (14:33:23) krsdsc: my $$$ signs are goin down a little (14:33:26) krsdsc: but I'm still workin it (14:33:31) krsdsc: and she keeps blastin her music (14:33:44) krsdsc: and so i smash her stereo to bits (14:33:49) krsdsc: so i can keep hacking the bits (14:33:50) Lev o roni: ouch (14:33:51) krsdsc: to pay for that shit (14:33:56) krsdsc: and she attempts to kill me (14:34:01) Lev o roni: wHATT (14:34:05) krsdsc: and because i have broken ribs (14:34:05) Lev o roni: with what (14:34:11) krsdsc: shoving me into shit (14:34:11) krsdsc: over shit (14:34:13) krsdsc: through shit (14:34:17) krsdsc: I put my hands over her neck (14:34:25) Lev o roni: uh oh (14:34:31) krsdsc: and for a split instant showed her just how much restraint I showed her every day (14:34:42) krsdsc: she smoked weed and drank alchohol the night before (14:34:48) krsdsc: pregnant with my now 1 yr old son (14:34:54) krsdsc: HIS life was in HER hands (14:34:57) krsdsc: HER life was in MY HANDS (14:35:10) krsdsc: And *I* called the cops beccause I had just almost been killed yo (14:35:13) krsdsc: im bleedin all over the place (14:35:16) krsdsc: bruised all over the fuckin place (14:35:18) krsdsc: battered all over the place (14:35:31) krsdsc: And she's lookin cute and sweet and innocent, without a fuckin scratch on her (14:35:40) krsdsc: and shes like "He put his hands around me and tried to strangle me!" (14:35:42) Lev o roni: and did she switch itup on u (14:35:46) krsdsc: and they were like "DID U DO THIS TO HER?!" (14:35:53) krsdsc: and I didn't lie but I tried to explain myself (14:35:56) krsdsc: and she didnt press charges (14:36:03) Lev o roni: but the state did (14:36:05) krsdsc: but they tried to, because they saw the stereo smashed to bits (14:36:10) krsdsc: I bailed out on the 2nd day (14:36:15) krsdsc: with all the procedes of my hard work (14:36:29) krsdsc: and ever since she and I didn't have the magic spark (14:36:32) krsdsc: she was just holdin on to me (14:36:39) krsdsc: but we loved each other and we loved our son enough to stick through it (14:36:42) krsdsc: and we had him (14:36:52) krsdsc: and she would have DIED without the health insurance I provided her (14:36:59) krsdsc: and he would have DIED without the health insurance I provided him (14:37:00) Lev o roni: ya, i saw the pic of him (14:37:09) krsdsc: I slaved away to this shitty place in SF (14:37:18) krsdsc: just to guarantee health insurance for what was a 30,000$ delivery (14:37:34) krsdsc: And of course I'm managing my investments of time and emotions and heart and love and thought and shit (14:37:50) krsdsc: I got robbed 3 days later (14:37:54) krsdsc: somebody stole my laptop (14:37:58) krsdsc: and some other shit (14:38:07) krsdsc: temporarily fucked for the ability to hang with my kid and work at the same time. (14:38:25) krsdsc: And ever since that alleged domestic violence thing her family was really Iffy about me (14:38:28) krsdsc: but god fucking damnit (14:38:39) krsdsc: she didn't have a license to assault and batter and attempt murder on me (14:38:43) Lev o roni: dam, now that's some shit luck i've jus heard (14:38:44) krsdsc: and I *DID* have a right to defend myself (14:38:59) krsdsc: and *EVER SINCE* her family just kept wedging and wedging and wedging (14:39:03) krsdsc: and they weren't there to make it easy on her (14:39:04) krsdsc: to babysit (14:39:08) Lev o roni: yea, thats why u didn't get fucked, she's assaulted u first (14:39:09) krsdsc: so we could have EVEN ONE SINGLE FUCKING NIGHT to ourselves (14:39:21) krsdsc: And shes compensating by having men friends over (14:39:23) krsdsc: wining and dining her (14:39:28) krsdsc: buying her treats and this and that (14:39:31) krsdsc: while i have 8000$ in the bank (14:39:34) krsdsc: how the fuck is that supposed to make me feel? (14:39:42) Lev o roni: if she does that (14:39:44) krsdsc: i worked f'ing damn hard to be the MAN in my own damn house (14:39:51) Lev o roni: think of a divorce (14:40:00) krsdsc: and so she got really intimidated because I was threatening her "Friend" (14:40:02) Lev o roni: if there's no spark, ther's nothing there, and your wasting time (14:40:06) krsdsc: And so she kept having him over more and more (14:40:08) krsdsc: And then (14:40:12) krsdsc: she had this gay dude Roy over (14:40:25) krsdsc: and he wanted to fight with me because he was a drama queen (i wrote the book on that shit, princess) (14:40:29) krsdsc: and IN MY BABYS ROOM (14:40:39) krsdsc: hes all intimately snugglin up to her eroticly trimmin her eyebrows (14:40:48) Lev o roni: wtf (14:40:51) krsdsc: her nipples are like cuttin diamond holes through her shirt n crap (14:40:56) krsdsc: and so I politely said somethin (14:41:00) krsdsc: and he pretended to ignore me (14:41:07) krsdsc: so I told him to please knock taht off with a tone of force to it (14:41:14) krsdsc: and he blew up at me right then and there in my baby's room (14:41:16) krsdsc: in front of my baby (14:41:17) krsdsc: and her (14:41:18) krsdsc: and me (14:41:20) krsdsc: and her mom (14:41:24) krsdsc: and her sister (14:41:32) krsdsc: and he went downstairs and wrote "IM A FAG" on the back of my car (14:41:42) krsdsc: i ejected his ass from my house with my WORDS (14:41:47) krsdsc: and followed him down there to wipe that shit off (14:41:56) krsdsc: just to come upstairs to see sarita's mom and sarita ransacking the baby shit (14:42:00) krsdsc: and I'm thinking HOLY JESUS (14:42:15) krsdsc: And so I start calling her mom every worst dirty word there was in the book (14:42:16) krsdsc: abou ther (14:42:18) krsdsc: all true (14:42:23) krsdsc: either at one time or currently (14:42:31) krsdsc: And they FUCKING DUPE ME ONE LAST TIME USING MY OWN GOOD NATURE AGAINST ME (14:42:34) krsdsc: Tricking me: (14:42:47) krsdsc: 1) Does he stay at home and have thanksgiving with u daddy, with no family but u + daddy? (14:43:15) krsdsc: 2) Does he go to hollister with mommy (who already seemed to be jacking toys and crap) with HUGE extended family where he would LEARN THINGS and SEE THINGS and HAVE A GOOD TIME *GUARANTEED* (14:43:23) krsdsc: He was to return home in 4 days, she promised. (14:43:27) krsdsc: And HE FUCKING DIDNT (14:43:33) krsdsc: and I was f'ing furious! (14:43:40) krsdsc: And I said some shit to her on the phone that I didn't really mean (14:43:47) krsdsc: but I meant the severity it imlied (14:43:48) krsdsc: implied (14:43:51) krsdsc: And naturally, (14:44:16) krsdsc: she served me with a restraining order prohibiting me from seeing her, or my baby son who i had been bonding with for over 5-12 hours every day every day since he was born (14:44:40) krsdsc: And 3 days after that, she was off fucking some Bassist named Will Lee [whos 23-24 yrs old with *TWO FAILED MARRIAGES OF HIS OWN*] (14:44:56) krsdsc: And she serves me with a bullshit lawsuit in san benito county (14:44:57) Lev o roni: she's a trick (14:45:09) krsdsc: So I pay all the money I got in the bank to defend my good name (14:45:11) krsdsc: and my good heart (14:45:16) krsdsc: And she tricks me again (14:45:22) krsdsc: In mediation sayin she wasn't with somebody (14:45:23) krsdsc: and this and that (14:45:32) krsdsc: And so I agree to let her and him move to New Mexico. Because I LOVE HER! (14:45:35) krsdsc: Because I LOVE HER FAMILY! (14:45:43) krsdsc: Because I LOVE WHAT RELATIONSHIP ORION AND HER FAMILY HAVE! (14:45:54) krsdsc: I WAS THE BIGGER FUCKING PERSON! FOR ALL OF THEM! and they're ungrateful as shit (14:46:05) Lev o roni: where's your baby (14:46:09) Lev o roni: new mexico? (14:46:10) krsdsc: the last time i saw my son I was compelled to say "I love you!!!! I Love you son!!!" (14:46:21) krsdsc: and the bailiff exiting the courthouse put me in check (14:46:33) krsdsc: about to arrest me for violating my restraining order (temporary) - which HAD NO LEGAL MERIT (14:46:47) krsdsc: that was pretty much ultimate suffering (14:46:50) krsdsc: so yes, I turned to drugs. (14:46:55) krsdsc: I turned to bad influences. (14:47:46) krsdsc: I turned to *ANYONE* and *ANYTHING* that could even remotely compare with how WONDERFUL and GOOD AND AMAZING she and MY FIRST BORN CHILD made me feel (14:47:54) krsdsc: And I got burned recursively even again still in that (14:48:01) krsdsc: [silver city, nm] (14:48:04) krsdsc: 6000 ft above ground, no oxygen (14:48:10) krsdsc: no people (10,000) (14:48:12) krsdsc: alotta art (14:48:16) krsdsc: no brain cells (14:48:21) krsdsc: BEER like it was morphine (14:48:39) krsdsc: Her family "outpimped" me by buying a house that she gets to live in rent free. (14:48:52) krsdsc: But, I dont get to see him unless I jeapordize my income situation. (14:49:01) krsdsc: my only loyal friend got arrested (14:49:03) krsdsc: and is now in a group home (14:49:07) krsdsc: and my disloyal friend was in jail (14:49:10) krsdsc: so I bailed him out with my last 800$ (14:49:13) krsdsc: and even HE screwed me (14:49:25) krsdsc: and I told him to get the fuck out of my house after I started gettin really bad feelings about it (14:49:31) krsdsc: when i was sure it was a danger to me (14:49:39) krsdsc: And fuck man (14:49:43) krsdsc: ever since then ive just been writing (14:49:49) krsdsc: havent given up on the girl (14:49:55) krsdsc: Its kindof like giving directions to an asian person (14:50:04) krsdsc: Its not their fault they dont know how to communicate efficiently, yet (14:50:14) krsdsc: I forgive them (14:50:21) krsdsc: and I have the patience (and faith) to teach them (14:50:25) Lev o roni: haha (14:50:30) krsdsc: and to use words and images they would understand (14:50:34) krsdsc: like i did just 5 minutes ago (14:50:37) krsdsc: before i started talking to u (14:50:55) krsdsc: And now the Godfather of the internet (14:51:02) Lev o roni: hahaha (14:51:09) krsdsc: [the chief neteng from exodus who went on to conquer hotmail/msn hotmail and even microsoft] (14:51:15) krsdsc: is giving me a job, again (14:51:22) krsdsc: starting over from scratch - metaphorically (14:51:29) krsdsc: in a noc, but as a unix admin with leet skills (14:51:33) Lev o roni: go to the video game division (14:51:46) krsdsc: neh i tried that in chicago (14:51:48) krsdsc: w/midway (14:51:54) krsdsc: they're way too shady (14:51:57) krsdsc: look at EA games (14:52:11) krsdsc: look at Lucasgames - they're way too elitist (14:52:11) Lev o roni: i feel like making video games would be a fun job (14:52:28) krsdsc: u and about 1 million other people who only end up being game testers (14:52:28) Lev o roni: yeaa, they got a new game coming out i want to get, it's a shooting game (14:52:34) krsdsc: if u wanna make a game (14:52:37) krsdsc: describe what it would be like (14:52:44) krsdsc: but dont touch a computer until u have your game completley plotted out (14:52:46) krsdsc: u feel me? (14:52:51) krsdsc: if your gonna do it, do it (14:52:56) Lev o roni: yea (14:52:57) krsdsc: dont "let" someone LET you do it (14:53:02) krsdsc: just fuckin do it (14:53:07) krsdsc: and show them whos got the skills (14:53:12) Lev o roni: but what do i do from there (14:53:37) krsdsc: brainstorm until its thunderstorms infinitely for all time on the eternal weather forecast (14:53:45) krsdsc: shotgun thunders n shit (14:53:49) Lev o roni: haha, nice (14:53:55) krsdsc: BOOM BOOM (oh yeah!) BOOM BOOM (oh yeah I get it!) (14:54:03) krsdsc: dont be mad (14:54:05) krsdsc: dont be frustrated (14:54:07) krsdsc: dont be afraid (14:54:09) krsdsc: dont be stressed (14:54:11) krsdsc: dont be scared (14:54:15) krsdsc: just stop for a minute (14:54:19) krsdsc: center yourself (14:54:36) krsdsc: and look for the answer to your question (A to Z) without doing every B C D E F ... X Y step inbetween (14:54:39) krsdsc: :) (14:54:59) krsdsc: theres nothing really special about me at all (14:55:02) krsdsc: i was really curious (14:55:09) krsdsc: and i uncovered every stone i've ever come acrost (14:55:15) krsdsc: u can do it (14:55:28) krsdsc: and hopefully people like me can point out some cool stones along yo journey (14:55:35) krsdsc: so u dont have to fuck around looking for the stone u already found (14:55:44) krsdsc: because someone would have explained why what u learned was PRACTICAL and VALUABLE (14:55:51) krsdsc: and therefore IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO TAKE SERIOUSLY (14:55:51) krsdsc: ;) (14:56:40) Lev o roni: you're a good guy, i hope you get some better luck soon, reall soon (14:56:51) krsdsc: i love this girl so much (14:56:55) krsdsc: she is so innocent (14:56:58) krsdsc: and naieve (14:56:59) krsdsc: and full of pride (14:57:06) krsdsc: and stubborn as an ox (14:57:27) krsdsc: she and i are born on the same day of the same year at the same time (I being 200 minutes older.) (14:57:30) Lev o roni: but u can't force her to be with u, so u should just forget about her (14:57:31) krsdsc: from 2 diff moms (14:57:40) krsdsc: negative. (14:57:40) Lev o roni: she was already shady with u (14:58:02) krsdsc: my son deserves her and I investing at *LEAST* 10 years into figuring out how to get along with each other (14:58:13) krsdsc: not .7 (14:58:15) krsdsc: what the fuck is that (14:58:23) krsdsc: that gay dood did that shit (14:58:27) Lev o roni: true (14:58:27) krsdsc: and her mom was all tryin to steal my baby (14:58:34) krsdsc: and WHAT THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO? (14:58:37) krsdsc: how was I SUPPOSED TO REACT? (14:58:42) krsdsc: was I even the MAN in my OWN HOUSE? (14:58:48) Lev o roni: but you can't just do everything to make your son have the perfet life (14:59:00) krsdsc: when I worked like a slave bitch for 60 hours a week to bring in 14 thousand dollars a month?!?! (14:59:05) Lev o roni: u also have to consider your life, and what will u make you happy (14:59:07) krsdsc: no but her family could have (14:59:16) krsdsc: and they sabotauged this and have a good deal of responsibility (14:59:18) krsdsc: as does the guy roy (14:59:26) krsdsc: as does her mom, specifically (14:59:41) krsdsc: as does the bassist guy will lee (a wiccan. HAHAHA) who eats her lies up like gospel[ (14:59:53) krsdsc: shes on the game when she has to be out of survival (15:00:01) krsdsc: she has to grow. and grow quickly. (15:00:11) krsdsc: And our love will grow with it. Wether I have her in my arms right this minute or not. (15:00:40) Lev o roni: well, u dont wanna waste a lot of time waiting for something that might not happen (15:00:41) krsdsc: btw this is a really good rendition of this story :) (15:01:02) krsdsc: she is the one for me (15:01:08) krsdsc: i knew it the first moment i laid eyes on her (15:01:20) krsdsc: she was the first girl i laid eyes on (15:01:25) krsdsc: who coincidentally 3 people (15:01:28) krsdsc: didn't realize (15:01:30) krsdsc: we had the same bday (15:01:34) krsdsc: otherwise I wouldn't have BEEN THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE (15:01:43) krsdsc: and I wouldn't be here right now (15:01:51) krsdsc: I wouldn't take it back for an instant (15:01:55) krsdsc: I'm not a bitch or a pussy or a punk (15:02:07) krsdsc: I was the freak (15:02:24) krsdsc: and then all of a sudden I was the responsible father figure and "good samaritan" role model for EVERYONE i knew (15:02:35) Lev o roni: i think you had a lot of shit going on (15:02:36) krsdsc: and then all of a sudden I was being assaulted by the very people who appointed me their hero (15:02:46) Lev o roni: in your head (15:02:48) krsdsc: I wised up. (15:02:53) krsdsc: Got smarter. Got communication 2.0 (15:02:55) krsdsc: Learned the language. (15:02:58) krsdsc: Got clever. (15:02:59) krsdsc: Got creative. (15:03:01) krsdsc: Got inventive. (15:03:05) krsdsc: Got GODLY even. (15:03:17) krsdsc: Even tried to get my business with god outta the way (15:03:19) krsdsc: if u feel me (15:03:28) krsdsc: so I could have the humble life I dream of (15:03:56) krsdsc: while I sit here scarred and burned and hurt and torn and smiling and forgiving everyone (15:04:03) krsdsc: doin the right thang, yo (15:04:14) krsdsc: because if I can be a role model (15:04:22) krsdsc: after being fucked with by everyone I have ever known and loved (15:04:36) krsdsc: instead of doing something crazy? (15:04:44) krsdsc: or escaping into something i'd settle for? (15:04:51) krsdsc: or wollowing in my self pity forever? (15:04:53) krsdsc: nah (15:04:56) krsdsc: im too good for that shit (15:05:26) Lev o roni: my advice to you, and take it if u want to, i think your should really forget about a relationship with the girl (15:05:37) krsdsc: I realize that manipulating other people, while generally an evil thing to do, is a good thing to do when it is in the best interests of everyone winning and no one getting hurt, and in the defense of a BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL, or INNOCENT (15:05:46) Lev o roni: maybe try and be her friend, but never go back to her (15:06:04) krsdsc: I have had that advice and sat on that advice and eaten and chewed and tasted that advice and passed it back to the chef (15:06:22) krsdsc: she has too many heartstrings on me (15:06:24) krsdsc: I am a man of my word (15:06:26) krsdsc: and a good man (15:06:30) krsdsc: and I give oaths that I mean (15:06:33) Lev o roni: but u wanna get back with her for your son (15:06:40) Lev o roni: are you divorced yet? (15:06:41) krsdsc: and I *meant* it when I said I wanted to be with her forever (15:06:44) krsdsc: we were never married. (15:06:49) krsdsc: with a birthday like ours (15:06:52) krsdsc: who needed marriage anyway (15:07:23) krsdsc: she wrote something amazing about me 5 days before she lost it and started sabotauging me and kenneth (provoking the conflict) (15:07:31) krsdsc: the amazing thing she felt (15:07:33) krsdsc: thinking at me (15:07:39) krsdsc: secretly hidden alongside her tone of voice (15:07:42) krsdsc: and how she touched me (15:07:46) krsdsc: and how she loved me and treated me (15:07:53) krsdsc: and with that love (15:07:55) krsdsc: i was invincible (15:07:58) Lev o roni: do u still talk to her (15:08:00) krsdsc: and nothing else mattered but that love (15:08:05) krsdsc: yes every couple of days (15:08:14) krsdsc: she keeps me out of alot (she violated the restraining order twice) (15:08:19) krsdsc: and i havent done anything yet (15:08:24) krsdsc: i woudln't, ordinarily (15:08:34) krsdsc: naturally, the creative and clever side of me take over (15:08:46) Lev o roni: so she still has feelings for u, is she seeing anyone tho? (15:08:53) krsdsc: and convince the inventive side of me that I gotta do something to make somthing (15:08:59) krsdsc: hell yes she still has feelings for me (15:09:09) krsdsc: her pride is hurt (15:09:13) krsdsc: shes stubborn (15:09:22) krsdsc: her "face" (in chinese terms) about me isin't great (15:09:32) krsdsc: and having me around wouldn't be wonderful to her political standing either (15:09:35) Lev o roni: how long has it been, 7 months? (15:10:01) krsdsc: since she was gone? She left 4 days before thanksgiving, which she stole, she stole christmas, and she stole new years. (15:10:06) krsdsc: But she didn't steal valentines day. (15:10:17) krsdsc: In fact she left me a message that my son woke her up to say h111111111111!!!! (15:10:24) krsdsc: and that made the inventive part of me go wild! (15:10:36) Lev o roni: haha (15:10:38) krsdsc: And I came up with some clever and creative theories and methods to play with (15:10:50) krsdsc: And I know I can get her back (15:10:53) Lev o roni: that must of been cool and good to hear from him (15:10:59) krsdsc: but how do I mend the wounds of so bloody a recursive mess? (15:11:04) krsdsc: yes (15:11:18) Lev o roni: fuck the past, the past is over (15:11:26) krsdsc: I would not be capable of loving another human being -- truely -- without the love she showed me when I created that life (15:11:38) krsdsc: The past is relative. (15:11:40) krsdsc: Hindsight. (15:11:43) krsdsc: Experience. (15:11:50) krsdsc: Giving light to the Foresight for the future. (15:12:16) krsdsc: And foresight, is what was going on in my mind when I saw that guy practically *begging* to get a mouthful of the things he was afraid to hear me tell him (15:12:25) krsdsc: I *knew* exactly what was going on, that time around. (15:12:40) krsdsc: History in my book is NEVER doomed to repeat itself.] (15:13:08) krsdsc: This is where we are today (15:13:13) krsdsc: That is what we did yesterday (15:13:16) krsdsc: What are we going to do tomorrow? (15:13:30) krsdsc: [btw i cant help it, im publishing this convo ok] (15:13:36) Lev o roni: same thing (15:13:37) krsdsc: [ending it on that question] (15:13:38) krsdsc: leet (15:13:46) krsdsc: http://dreamscape.org/swim/ - im steven fountain:) (15:13:51) krsdsc: *bow* (15:14:01) Lev o roni: haha, it's cool (15:14:34) Lev o roni: so u got a job now and making some money? (15:14:43) krsdsc: hopefully as of tuesday (15:14:50) krsdsc: im currently outta food (15:14:54) krsdsc: and planning on callin the folks (15:15:03) krsdsc: my phones gonna get shut off in about 7-8 days (15:15:09) krsdsc: so everything is happening at the last minute. (15:15:11) krsdsc: Just like my birth. (15:15:22) krsdsc: Just like my procrastinated miracle engineering (15:15:26) krsdsc: Just like my destiny (15:15:53) krsdsc: the closer I get to the zero the more likely something's going to happen about it (15:15:57) krsdsc: typically (15:16:11) Lev o roni: ever work for Mac? (15:16:28) krsdsc: they dont grant me enough respect to interact with me like an equal. (15:16:32) krsdsc: And that violates my golden rule (15:16:40) krsdsc: I have never been approached. (15:16:47) krsdsc: I have however been to their lunchroom a ton of times (15:16:58) krsdsc: And I was good friends with apple employee #3's son (15:17:33) krsdsc: but he thinks I'm a horrible person because I wouldn't be abused by him and work for free and ditch my PREGNANT MOTHER TO BE just to go work on his half-assed hardly-carried-through project. (15:17:52) krsdsc: fuck that. I quit on the free gig. (15:18:05) krsdsc: And he quit on me, cruelly. (15:18:31) krsdsc: And all these people forsaking me and shit doesn't exactly make my baby's mama feel all warm and fuzzy about me, now does it? (15:18:43) Lev o roni: how old are you? (15:19:03) krsdsc: not really sure, I am physically turning 24 as of 3/19/2005. (15:19:22) krsdsc: I have been apart of internet culture throwing building blocks on my own personal mental empire every day for the past 14 years. (15:19:35) krsdsc: Today is my 7th anniversary of being in california. (15:19:55) Lev o roni: california is a nice place (15:20:01) krsdsc: Today is my 7th anniversary of the day I met my soul mate true love THE ONE (15:20:05) Lev o roni: one day i'd like to live there or florida (15:20:15) krsdsc: 14 years ago, I lied and told people I was 14 for 4 years until I was actually 14. (15:20:19) krsdsc: 10: im 14!!@#!@ (15:20:22) krsdsc: 11: im 14!@#!@# (15:20:27) krsdsc: 12: im 14!@#!@# (15:20:29) krsdsc: 13: im 14!@#!@# (15:20:33) Lev o roni: haha (15:20:42) krsdsc: until i actually was 14 (15:20:42) krsdsc: ;) (15:20:54) Lev o roni: i did that in AOL chatrooms when my dad got it first (15:20:55) krsdsc: [i was steered towards some very hurtful cruel influences however] (15:20:58) krsdsc: But once again (15:21:04) krsdsc: I really wouldn't be here, literally (15:21:10) Lev o roni: i was only like 11, and it's Teen Chat (15:21:11) krsdsc: and If I could take ANY of it back (15:21:15) krsdsc: I wouldn't be here... literally (15:21:25) krsdsc: its not just being a 13 yr old anymore, its being a 1111111111111133333333333333333 yr old (15:21:30) krsdsc: they're just signal (15:21:31) krsdsc: s (15:21:45) krsdsc: there is power in a word (15:21:50) krsdsc: spoken and written (15:21:55) krsdsc: heard and visualzie (15:21:57) krsdsc: d (15:21:57) krsdsc: ;) (15:22:05) krsdsc: some figure it out (15:22:05) krsdsc: some dont (15:22:08) krsdsc: some keep the truth from u (15:22:21) Lev o roni: u like 2pac? (15:22:23) krsdsc: and some lie and tell you they'll give you the truth when they dont understand the meaning/intent of it themselves (15:22:29) krsdsc: like the masonic order. (15:22:31) krsdsc: the jewish order. (15:22:37) krsdsc: the vatican. (15:22:50) krsdsc: the united states government - copyright, national security, etc (15:23:03) krsdsc: anybody who can elitely grip your balls and say "YOUR NOT READY FOR THE PAIN!" (15:23:16) krsdsc: "YOU WOULDNT UNDERSTAND [because i wont let u] MUA HA HA HA" (15:23:39) krsdsc: fuck that shit, its just information (15:24:05) krsdsc: if the cure for cancer was copyrighted and the dude prohibited u from using it it wouldn't mean you wouldnt NEED THE CURE any less (15:24:34) krsdsc: intellectual property and copyright in modern day society is fatally flawed (15:24:40) krsdsc: And retarding our nation. (15:25:28) krsdsc: If there were people like me all over the place, we would be networking every planet in existance in a matter of a dozen or so years (15:25:44) krsdsc: Therefore why I pontificate thusly. (15:26:02) Lev o roni: :-) (15:26:07) Lev o roni: i'm lost (15:26:12) krsdsc: AGGREGATE dat shit, in the words of the late heaven-sent Jenni Lateiner (15:26:45) krsdsc: i just handed u the keys to everything this place has to offer (15:26:49) krsdsc: on a silver platter (15:26:52) krsdsc: ba blow! (15:26:54) krsdsc: no copyrights (15:26:57) krsdsc: no licenses (15:27:01) krsdsc: no bills (15:27:06) krsdsc: just do something with it and give it to somebody else (15:27:23) krsdsc: dwell on dat shit and repeat this whole damn process and be in my shoes (15:27:48) krsdsc: u can do anything you put your mind to and you can do EVERYTHING (15:28:02) Lev o roni: ;-) (15:28:17) Lev o roni: thank u godfather ;-) (15:28:29) krsdsc: awww:) you honor me with that one, you do (15:28:33) Lev o roni: im saving this convo tho, to read later on (15:28:41) krsdsc: im just a man whos tired of people not caring (15:28:46) Lev o roni: some great advice (15:28:57) krsdsc: *bow* im gonna publish it w/u in it (15:29:13) krsdsc: im not so good with flattery, i dont usually get human interaction to begin with (15:29:16) Lev o roni: how do u know i dont care? (15:29:23) krsdsc: i dont (15:29:28) krsdsc: i didnt assume such (15:29:33) Lev o roni: hehe, me either (15:29:59) krsdsc: ive been really good at inspiring people over the years, the godfather would say ;) (15:30:06) krsdsc: and so it continues :) (15:30:17) krsdsc: literally and in more ways than one ;) (15:30:21) Lev o roni: well, u know a whole lot of shit man (15:30:28) krsdsc: i cant take it with me (15:30:37) krsdsc: and nobody can take it from me (15:30:45) krsdsc: so i might as well give it up before i dont get a chance to spill it (15:30:52) krsdsc: i'd like to live for thousands of years (15:31:00) krsdsc: if i had the medical technology available (15:31:21) Lev o roni: publish your work (15:31:27) Lev o roni: have ur name last for thousands of years (15:31:29) krsdsc: i would like to use the phrase "choose how long i will live" without it being a choice only containing a subtraction. Where's the addition and shit. (15:32:30) Lev o roni: http://www.hempcultivation.com/420/showthread.php?s=&threadid=40983 (15:32:35) krsdsc: creating never before seen [dont be scared] cells that protect the backup regions in your cells so your copies of a copy of a copy dont suck (15:32:39) Lev o roni: do some science (15:33:08) krsdsc: or that spontaneously create master stem cells of the liver, the heart, the kidney, the heart system #3, the heart system #4, etc whatever (theres like 400-600 or something of them) (15:33:22) krsdsc: Which MAGICALLY retrace the TREE and repair whatever was broken? (15:33:42) krsdsc: MATHEMATICALLY giving rise to IMMORTALITY as as high as the eye can see all around in every direction? (15:34:30) krsdsc: the system needs to change otherwise hundreds of thousands of people are going to die unnessicarily (15:34:48) Lev o roni: america wants people to die (15:35:11) krsdsc: while we fuck around in institutions and government federal drug administration boardrooms deciding how many fractions of a percent to raise the dosage to the 100% observed results they KNOW wont kill someone. (15:35:22) krsdsc: while only the snooby rich people get college educations (15:35:26) krsdsc: and the smart poor people like me have no voice (15:35:28) krsdsc: and no audience (15:35:31) krsdsc: and no credibility (15:35:42) krsdsc: ..by the very system designed to screw people like me from HAVING that voice (15:35:54) krsdsc: fuck, i need a cigarette. (15:36:00) krsdsc: and a million dollars. double fuck. (15:36:04) krsdsc: brb. (15:36:15) Lev o roni: ya man, i need to smoke a cig too ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group more answers and definitely more questions - i have discovered something amazing Posted by [1205]slf on Fri Feb 18 2005 09:27 ([1206]got somethin to say?) ([1207]Link) I was doing this shit when I was in the Oregon talented and gifted program. I have approximately 17-18 years of exposure to this idea (LOGO, repeated patterns making something very special happen in ways that have to be very creatively visualized-- its one of those things you've allways known, allways been using, allways been talking around, but you (and I) took for granted. It isin't just a spirograph anymore. Its a grid by grid form of self-fulfilling programming and self-fulfilling rule definition. That little turtle with simple instructions and simple rules create and manifests some of the most beautiful most intricate things that I have ever seen short of my son taking his first breath or the first time I laid eyes on Sarita that afternoon Febuary 19th, 1998. I love you Sarita. I love you Orion!!!! h1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111!!! Daddy hears you baby! I love you son, I am *VERY* in love with you Sarita, come on baby, Daddy misses you, let papa come home to you, I am so sorry I had to stir things up to get your attention, I told you, I wanted to be a humble man, but I know you love me and that you loved me and proved to me that you loved me by treating me the way you did, and by putting me through what you did, because if you wouldn't have, I wouldn't be at these realizations, I wouldn't feel the way I do right now (which on the surface is pretty killer but on the downlow is pretty lonely without you) if it werent for everything thats happened since you and Orion took off. I became something, I moved on, to SOMETHING WONDERFUL, SOMETHING ENVELOPING, SOMETHING ENRAPTURING, SOMETHING COARSE, SOMETHING INPENETRABLE, SOMETHING AMAZING... SOMETHING you know! I just started writing out cell for cell character for character on page #25, and then busted -:- Closing Link: slf[acayip@64.62.161.34] (Excess Flood) (slf) excess flood with my MATH OF POWER (slf) bwaha;) (slf) like, i can do cellular automation with strings (slf) that are just as tasty and delicious as the real thing (slf) thats so freaking damn cool (slf) lemme peep out another one: (slf) i'll do it by the signal burps and signal strength (slf) 1,2,3: 0 (slf) 4: 1 (slf) 5: 0 (slf) 6: 3 (slf) 7: 2 (slf) 8: 1 1 (slf) 9: 1 (slf) 10: 5 (slf) 11: 4 1 (slf) 12: 1 3 (slf) 13: 2 3 (slf) 14: 3 1 2 (slf) 15: 2 1 1 (slf) 16: 1 1 2 1 (slf) 17: 1 3 (slf) 18: 6 2 1 (slf) 19: 5 2 1 (slf) 20: 1 4 1 3 (slf) 21: 3 1 2 2 (slf) 22: 3 2 1 1 1 (slf) [giggle] (slf) 23: 2 1 3 1 (slf) 1 1 2 6 (slf) 4 1 5 1 (slf) 26: 5 3 1 4 (slf) 27: 4 2 2 3 3 (slf) 28: 1 3 1 1 2 2 (slf) 29: 2 1 1 1 1 1 (slf) 30: 3 1 1 4 1 (slf) [notice #29, 30k is the avg size of a basic organism, 30 steps, eh, what the hell u kno? it fits.] (slf) 31: 2 3 1 3 6 (slf) 32: 1 1 2 2 1 2 5 1 (slf) it takes 150 fucking steps to discern its special plan! (slf) holy crap (slf) it does special shit at 150 steps (slf) 700 steps (slf) 1400 steps (slf) 2100 steps (slf) radically changing how it behaves (slf) folding its own math onto itself, somehow (slf) i think u can figure out the laws of it within 30 steps (slf) but the power of those 30 steps (slf) and how much variation they create (slf) is unbelievable (slf) especially in that one (slf) those numbers represent the spaces inbetween dots (slf) the GAPS [the delay signals] (slf) they flow/weave themselves into something that uses itself to define itself to grow itself to create (slf) so intricate from those steps (slf) u kno your golden the minute u see a shitload of 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 's (slf) something special has happened every time (slf) wether it be ^1 1 1 1 1 1$ (slf) or ^1 1 1 1 1 1 (?:5) (slf) like, binary (slf) only more cool (slf) the divine self-fufilling prophecy (slf) taking steven wolfram's algoritms for ones he liked, (slf) and writing a program to visualize all of the gaps (slf) cool i just killed a cockroack (slf) FREE RENT UP IN THIS MUTHAFUCKA (slf) I exploded the fuckin thing (slf) took me 2 tries, too (slf) they're clever (slf) this is the peoples court (slf) and in this court, the people win (slf) i warned the bug (slf) it evaded me (slf) it didnt go (slf) this be my baby's room, nigga (slf) hehe;) (slf) I AM THE CREATOR AND THE DESTROYER OF ALL LIFE, IN THESE 6 WALLS (slf) ba-blow! (slf) welcome to the peoples court, the PEOPLE WIN (slf) *SMACK* (slf) 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 (slf) bwhahaha.... (slf) That is the only time I have ever seen one of those in here. (slf) I saw one in my kitchen a couple months ago. And I saw a whole ton of them next door a long time ago. And the landlady said she had problems along and so did other neighbors. (slf) I really *DO* live in the ghetto (slf) vato vockroaches (slf) showers that rain in the living room (slf) rust in the damn pipes that runs brown when i donut use it (slf) lead and mercury in the f'ing water (slf) toxic mold in the ceilings (slf) lack of earthquake proofing (slf) they dont clean the ventelation duct for the attic.. (slf) they dont *ventelate* through the ventelation shaft above my apt [big dumb dumb no no] (slf) its a nice 2BR on the 3rd floor (slf) the problem is, the inside of the apartment isin't sealed against the inside of the building. (slf) a NSA vato cockroach could creep through my whole building probably, it might even meet some friends. u feel me? (slf) they get in through the electrical outlets (slf) or the gap underneath the cabinets in the kitchen to the left and to the right of the sink (slf) by about 1" that they didn't plug up (slf) I'm gonna have to clean everything in this house (slf) and firebomb the fucking crap out of it (slf) right after i pluggo the walls (slf) matterafact (slf) thats what im gonna do for fun until the end of the month (slf) i take fucking vermin seriously (slf) if i can write it and it has more than 30k worth of code, it probably shouldn't be walking around my house, sneaking around n shit (slf) hmmm (slf) I bet DNA is really the same thing as the turtle. (slf) with count-the-number-of-burps (slf) and visualize-the-length-of-each-indivudal-burp-as-the-strength (slf) with some kind of progressive program (slf) the master stem cell describing all potential types of cells it could have and accomidate by defining their basic laws and parameters (slf) and then having them create the master cell of a specific line (slf) and having those master cells of the specific line creating the duty cells of that particular line (slf) rinsing and repeating (slf) so... ADDING more DNA to a section in the right places aught to modify how it programs. (slf) sometimes completely. (slf) same goes for any cell, stem, human, animal, plankton, plants, trees, a droplet of water, the sounds flying at u right now, the sounds u are recei ambient, etc et cetc etc etc (slf) [oh btw, i self hypnotised myself prior to doing all this] (slf) *chuckle* (slf) So, the supercell, the cell, the leaf, the turtle, the spirograph, the pythagorans theorum (all those cool things like pyarmids that look like thi a certain way), LOGO!!@#!@#!@#!@#!@#!@# the f'ing turtle! (slf) and all of a sudden... that's like, cellular automation (slf) computational cellular automation (slf) computational cellular automation programming and architecture(TBA) (slf) and computational cellular automation numerology (slf) computational numerology (slf) its just like traffic on the internet (slf) the delay between two packets (slf) 0 seconds have passed: just show a . instead of a number/symbol, 1 second: replace with a 1, 10 seconds: a, 35 seconds (10seconds+26letter A:36, Z:61... and u can do !:62, +:73 (slf) and u can abbreviate shit into crap u really dont care about, or color encode them or something gay, whatever i dunno really (slf) and if u wait, and observe your keepalive, you will see these patterns occuring naturally in the universe inbetween the sequence of your events. (slf) signatures. (slf) just like u see signatures in the first 30 steps of some of these cellular automation algorithms. (slf) And it doesnt just stop at 50% of a triangle. (slf) WOW!!!!! (slf) THIS EXPLAINS THE FREEMASON LOVE FOR THE NUMER 1111' (slf) 1111 / 2 = 555.5 (slf) 555 / 2 = 277.5 (slf) 277 / 2 = 138.5 (slf) 138 / 2 = 69 (slf) 69 / 2 = 34.5 (slf) 34 / 2 = 17 (slf) 17 / 2 = 8.5 (slf) 8 / 2 = 4 (slf) 4 / 2 = 2 (slf) 2 / 2 = 1 (slf) 1 / 2 = 0.5 (slf) bwhaha (slf) *and* it explains the h111111111111111111111111111111111111111! algorithm my son just performed when waking my beautiful wife up with his beautiful smiles and his beautiful sense of humor (slf) that shit is what happens when it gets to 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 right before the program folds onto itself and popped a shitload of actions onto the permanant stack. (slf) So *THATS* why the washington monument is 555 tall (slf) and 111 feet in the ground (slf) because 1111 divided by two planes = 555 feet (slf) i allways kinda wondered (slf) soooooooooo be careful when i start to go ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (slf) because i might just buffer overflow u and make u intelligent (slf) the freemasons themselves were cellular automation for faith and religion (slf) through time and history (slf) it most assuredly explains the golden dawn (slf) the 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 in the pyramid does the special operation (slf) and the more threads there are the better (slf) even if only 1 of those 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1's survive (slf) it created something magnificent (slf) I taught myself math, again. (slf) Just by trial and error. (slf) Just like the program I was trying and erroring in understanding. At first. (slf) Steven Wolfram basicly showed to the world that the LOGO program and a infinite loop are capable of explaining most things having to do with life and creation. (slf) *I* can make INFINITE infintie loops. (slf) And as such, feel obligated to create a self learning, self perpetuating, self adapting, self defining, self programming piece of math that creates the ultimate cause and effect markup procedural language (slf) For the creation of GRAND pachinko-machine-football-plays-of-an-organism (slf) the HAIL MARY of organism (slf) All I must do is perform statistical analysis of all of steven wolfram's visualizations (slf) Which will teach me the secret to writing the secret-krispykremebag-that-allways-has-a-different-donut in it (slf) u feel me (slf) the world is so far behind right now (slf) that everybody uses one while loop (slf) and switches between as many filehandles as the program will let it have open at once as possible (slf) however, if u ever want to do something which locks/siezes the process (slf) u either gotta split it into another program (slf) or else sleep, or perform a blocking operation which fills up your sendq/recvq (slf) with THIS (slf) you can do 300-400 infinite loops all running *permanantly* and u can sleep in them independantly of the others (slf) and they all share the same hashes (slf) which can contain millions upon millions of complex records spread out over many many complex or simple hashes (slf) I started of with the 1's, then the 2's, then the 4's, then the 8's then the 17's, and then i feature hacked a ton of shit and came up with the 34... (slf) i'm goin for the 69 the 138 the 277 the 555 or the 1111 thread organism (slf) so i can topple people (slf) lawyers (slf) marketing guys (slf) insurance salesmen (slf) car salesman (slf) everybody (slf) everything (slf) creation (slf) creativity (slf) intution (slf) instinct (slf) emanation (slf) concentration (slf) deliverance (slf) anything my heart desires. (slf) it all started by writing a shitload (1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1) of little programs (slf) wow (slf) it really is the formula for the wave (slf) the temporal physics of waves hitting other waves (slf) wow (slf) thats what the pyramids are supposed to represent, too (slf) i dunno about the eyehole pointing at orion's belt yet (slf) but i'm still workin on that one (slf) holy jesus f'ing christ * slf looks at some of the 3d cellular automation (slf) the mountainslope (effects of waves or air or pressure or some kind of wave mixed with some kind of mass) (slf) the cleaved trunk of a tree, kindling style (slf) pretty much everything ever seen from the borg (slf) organically grown in every way possible (slf) every pattern, a horse, something that looks like a foot or a shoe (slf) every fractal ever incepted (slf) pretty much every damn screensaver ive ever seen (slf) every network visualization thing ive ever seen [ooh yes, i did attend discrete mathematics, yo] (slf) every tourament (slf) every mind map (slf) woah, shitload of geometrically pleasing spirals with N number of axises (slf) triangles that start spinning (slf) every marble madness thing u ever saw as a kid where u had this one machine that was perfectly laid out for the distance between the corners for the velocity and force that it had (slf) every rollercoaster (slf) every verse (slf) every meaning (slf) every word (slf) every relation from your perspective their perspective and everybody's perspective in the room (slf) and everybody's perspective for people u know/knew well wether u know it or not (slf) every sound ever spoken (slf) which, I eagerly hypothesize, matches the markov chaining (slf) and the flow, in some structured way (slf) to create the 1 1 1 1 1 1's and do something very inventive. (slf) wether the 1 1 1 1 1 1 1's are there or not. (slf) every single binary tree, dancing tree, fuck, anything having to do with the word tree, and this program has the key to understanding and making and perpetuating it (slf) its just a hash table that refeines what to do with something when something happens, a substitution table that updates itself as it runs to evolve itself (slf) holy crap (slf) texture! (slf) every texture! (slf) every optical illusion -- fuck it just make it every illusion, literally and in more ways than one (slf) every tesselated thing u could possibly imagine with the same 20x20 grid but the thing seems to be turned around in all 360 degrees kindof poses (slf) similar but slightly different to achieve the twist (slf) fuck even the words email icon (slf) haha (slf) [agh got a call from sarita.... I love her so much. sigh.] (slf) shit they even got a cellular automation that looks like a chick dancing (slf) frame completely changing itself every 50 iterations (slf) woah (slf) patterns in the patterns in the patterns in the patterns (nughaud) slf you got any ideas for me (slf) yes, get laid (slf) get burned (nughaud) has to start with 'a' (slf) and get wised up (slf) uhh.. (slf) ANGLICIZE! (nughaud) and has to relate (somewhat) to your site making money and having visitors (nughaud) amazing hit generator (nughaud) ^^ but that's lame (slf) AGGREGATION (slf) ACCOMIDATION (slf) ACCLIMATION (nughaud) this is just to give me good tucows listing (slf) ABSCOND... (slf) ;) (slf) ask jeeves... (slf) haha.. (slf) ASCENTION (slf) AFFILIATION (nughaud) like AAA Taxi (nughaud) 'cept this is soft (nughaud) I need somebody w/ more marketing exp to help w/ a anme (slf) APPROPRIATION (nughaud) I mean I'd go and name it 'absolute power' or something (slf) ANTAGONIZATION (nughaud) and amrket it like (slf) ALTERIOR MOTIVES (slf) ;) (nughaud) KN says: (nughaud) control the search engines (nughaud) KN says: (nughaud) take charge of the internet (nughaud) KN says: -:- nughaud was kicked off #ircpimps by krzy_k0ng (flood) ))) Inviting nughaud to #IRCpimps -:- nughaud [smff@bringin.nerdskill.com] has joined #ircpimps -:- mode/#ircpimps [+o nughaud] by slf * slf shakes his head (slf) i get away until the point when the server boots me off (slf) u say 5 lines n shit (slf) hehe;) (nughaud) yea irssi w/o output flood prot (slf) alimony... (slf) bwhaha.. (nughaud) haha (nughaud) Alimony Money Maximizer (nughaud) somehow those words don't go together (slf) it had to do with making money (slf) and having visitors (slf) hehe (slf) aliens picked my lottery numbers (slf) ;) (trixter) [09:10] (@slf) i get away until the point when the server boots me off -- the bots recognize your need to monologue all night :P (slf) yesh it all starts with reading a book (nughaud) hehe (nughaud) I suck at naming apps (slf) and then reading books with colors in them (slf) and waldo (slf) and pictures n highlights n shit (nughaud) marketing isn't my strong point (trixter) I thought it started with drugs, and lots of them (slf) and then its like, 40 page stories (slf) and then its like, a novel (trixter) at least that is what it seems like when I read what you type (slf) and then its like, a book (slf) and then its like an epic saga (slf) and then its like robert jordan (slf) and then its like the ancients (slf) and then its like, your writing your own journal, one page at a time.. (slf) and then, like, when important shit happens (slf) and then, like, you spill the beans (slf) and then, like, everybody turns on u and u get broke (nughaud) rantings of a madman (slf) and then, u start writing anchors of the truth (trixter) I think I finally debugged the all new RSS code for my bot (slf) anchors that make u not forget, make it impossible to forget (slf) and then u write all the time (trixter) and now that one of my webpages are up I can add 300 some odd feeds to it :P (trixter) fortunately they are selective on both channel and server (nughaud) I need like 5 php devs and a handful of marketing monkeys (slf) and then u bridge the anchors (slf) and spill it (slf) all of this starts with travel pointing ideas (slf) and returning to them later (slf) worth more points for the squares u've never been in before (slf) bwhaha... (slf) [cellular automation, anyone?] (slf) and worth 1 point for every "tick" you wait for entering the room. (slf) so if u wait 500 "ticks" whatever that interval is (slf) u collect 500 travel points on the subject (slf) or the person (slf) and the tp's go in yur bank o royal papers (slf) and that is how u become a hero, and a legend, and a metamorph, and a istari(bwhaha), and an ancient (slf) it takes hard fucking work and progression to have the tactics, to have seen something nobody had ever seen before (slf) or something nobody saw for the millions it was really worth (slf) another mans trash... (slf) yo treazuah (slf) n shit (slf) and that shit doesnt happen overnight (slf) and that shit doesnt happen ALL in one day just because U want it to (slf) hells no (slf) ;) (slf) nughaud: why do u need php dev's (slf) whats so hard about the meaning within the meaning within the meaning (slf) and the meaning outside the meaning outside the meaning? (slf) [intuition/true sight/instincts/uncovering lies/what is inside the real reason but u are being spoonfed anyway] (slf) and root cause analysis [what the hells really goin on] (slf) php is just templating. (slf) and some shitty crap for duct taping code straight inline into a webpage (slf) which other *real* languages do better (slf) reinventing the wheel u never seen or heard of is a bitch ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group the turtle is the key to everything, i'm thinking Posted by [1208]slf on Fri Feb 18 2005 07:21 ([1209]got somethin to say?) ([1210]Link) leave it to the program LOGO to open my eyes to something forever. steven wolfram, with all of your visualizations, why didn't you visualize *every* visualization and not just that they are dotted on a cell? why did you not (IN EVERY VISUALIZATION!!!) dot the number-of-signal-burps, the strength of those signals, the formula for every right placement (and its permananat assignment of what happens when we encounter it ever again), and the formula and permanant assignment of what happens whenever we go left, too. Yes, your other left. Just what happens left and what happens right, basically. And then observe just *HOW MUCH CODE* it would take to analyze and self-discover such information. FRIGGING LEET, I'm thinking. The laws of the 1 are the same. The laws of the 3 are the same. The laws of the furthest thing on the right. The laws of the 1 and the 3 aren't nessicarily completely comprehended until you have been through 25 or so iterations, they can allways be redefined later by this simple program. All of this magic because of this beautiful little thing that: (slf) all from a fucking simple program that does: 1d1w if no 2w; 1d1e if no 2e; (slf) with rules that say: dont collide. (slf) and: dont get too comfortable with yo' neighbor. (slf) so much math locked within so little a program Now about that being redefined later thing, who's to say that I am not somewhere in that program, eventually? first right chain: 3 2 1 second right chain: 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 third right chain: 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 INSIDE the third chain when the formula hits ^1 1 1 1 1 1, it does something VERY SPECIAL in the middle of this new branch: on the left we have : 1, 3, 1 1 1, 7 on the middle : 15, 13, 11, 9, 7 (and on to...5 3 1) on the right we have : 1, 3, 1 1 1, 7 So what was a little list of numbers, became a bigger list of numbers, which became an even bigger list of numbers, until it changed its own math around and started subtracting 2 instead of one to declinate! "Cell should be black whenever one or the other, but not both, of its neighbers were black on the step before." Which is: A{i'} = Mod[ A{i-1} + A{i+1}, 2 ] Mod is the Modulus. The best way I have to explain to you the modulus is this: You have seen picture photo albums with 20 pictures in them, with 4 pictures in a row, and then another 4 pictures, and another four pictures? Well -- if you count the picture you're currently working with each iteration, if you want to cause something to special happen every 4 iterations you can do a check two ways (i'll give many examples): "If our iteration is divisible by 4, does it have a remainder? if it has a remainder, we aren't interested! if it doesn't have a remainder, this is what we were looking for! Do something special now!" *or* do_something_special unless ($iteration % 4); *or* do_something_special if ( !( $iteration % 4 ) ); The modulus returns the remainder of the division operation. In cases of logic, if there is no remainder, it returns 0, If there is a remainder, it is at least 1, and therefore true. So when you look at that photo gallery with 4 pictures on one line, remember what I said to you. All this happened because of: 1s1w if no 2w 1s1e if no 2e dont touch anything directly (slf) I figured out something really neat!!!!!!!!!!! (slf) Studying Steven Wolfram's books (slf) about the turtle (slf) it aint just the 2 dimensional shit u see starting at 0 (slf) -1 and +1 and that kinda crap from the border coordinants (slf) there is this whole secret numerology (slf) to it (slf) peep this: (slf) 1 (slf) 1 (slf) 3: 3 (slf) 4: 1 2 (slf) 5: 3 1 (slf) 6: 1 1 1 (slf) 7: 7 (slf) 8: 1 6 (slf) 9: 3 5 (slf) 10: 1 1 1 4 (slf) 11: 7 3 (slf) 12: 1 5 1 2 (slf) 13: 3 3 3 1 (slf) 14: 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 (slf) 15: 15 (slf) 16: 1 14 (slf) 17: 3 13 (slf) 18: 1 1 1 12 (slf) 19: 7 11 (slf) 20: 1 5 1 10 (slf) 21: 3 3 3 9 (slf) 22: 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 8 (slf) 23: 15 7 (slf) 24: 1 13 1 6 (slf) 25: 3 11 3 5 (slf) 26: 1 1 1 9 1 1 1 4 (slf) 27: 7 7 7 3 (slf) 1 5 1 5 1 5 1 2 (slf) for 28 (slf) and then (slf) ... (slf) these are the *signals* inbetween the automation (slf) if u take the pyramid (slf) and u draw a line right down the middle (slf) this is the left half (slf) counting the number of times it burps, and the intensity of the burp (slf) the math is self defining. (slf) this is: /^1(?: |s+){1,}/ (slf) which is every 1 with a space after it (slf) which triggers the creation of the total number of 1's times 2, + 1 (slf) also, whenever there is /^1(?: |s+|){1,}$/, something special happens again, where the entire series of 7 burped 1's turn into that 15 for the first time. (slf) and then from then on (slf) the whole thing starts all over again (slf) and the 15 it just created (slf) ticks down, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 (slf) until it gets dealt with again (slf) and EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED before the 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 (slf) gets repeated all over again (slf) nested. and so on, and so forth, rinsed and repeated, forever. (slf) WHILE that 15 ticks down to 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 (slf) so beautiful (slf) every s/(?:s+| |)x$/ is removed every iteration (slf) and every /( {1,})$/ is used to perform a $lenof = length $1; $lenof--; return "x" . (" " x $lenof); (slf) the numbers behave very systematically when given a formula such as this (slf) not just for the visualization, but for the gaps inbetween them, the numbers themselves not just the art (slf) there are number-of-signal-burps, strength-of-signals, formula for every right placement, formula for every complete exterior left movement (slf) recursion (slf) and looping (slf) all from a fucking simple program that does: 1d1w if no 2w; 1d1e if no 2e; (slf) with rules that say: dont collide. (slf) and: dont get too comfortable with yo' neighbor. (slf) so much math locked within so little a program (slf) just like the words (slf) just like the music (slf) just like the traffic (slf) just like the meaning (slf) everything (slf) all because of this one little fucking turtle. (slf) wow ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group how u like me now?!?! Posted by [1211]slf on Thu Feb 17 2005 20:52 ([1212]got somethin to say?) ([1213]Link) (slf) i love minidiscs (slf) just found psycho killer, kiss kisseEEEEEEEEEEE (slf) and the sebastion vellmont coromation song ;) (the bittersweet symphony techno song) (slf) i found a beer (slf) and i found a book i was looking for (slf) bwhaha (slf) i have the ultimate secret villian underground secret lair music! (slf) i had phrase skills way back (slf) apparently (slf) hehe;) (slf) i heart this minidisc for sure! (slf) [this was my first] (slf) i am changing it up a GRIP (slf) my signatures are unmatched right now (slf) i kno all the wives of my neighbors jock me now (slf) bwhaha (slf) I MADE IT THAT WAY (slf) theys like "is that shit bubble bobble? wtf?!" (slf) when ive been bumping hard rap all day (slf) bwahaha i heart fucking with the neighbors. haha ;) ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group wow Posted by [1214]slf on Thu Feb 17 2005 18:58 ([1215]got somethin to say?) ([1216]Link) The godfather of the colo and asp industry just swooped me up and laid out the details of a rescue operation and punched the coordinants into the nav computer. Leet! I am 99.999% sure this is gonna work out and after tuesday i'll probably be 100% sure this will work out. ..slf hmm, thinking Posted by [1217]slf on Thu Feb 17 2005 17:42 ([1218]got somethin to say?) ([1219]Link) using a=4, i=1, e=3 sarita marie james s4r1t4 m4r13 j4m3s 41441343 = (-his 3303041: 38138302, +his 3303041: 44744384) 414 413 43 = 870 (-his 77: 793, +his 77: 947) 4 1 44 1 3 4 3 = 60 (-his 41: 19, +his 41: 101) 4 1 4 4 1 3 4 3 = 24 (-his 14: 10, +his 14: 38) steven loren fountain st3v3n l0r3n f0unt41n 3303041 = (-her 41441343: -38138302, +her 41441343: 44744384) 33 03 041 = 77 (-her 870: -793, +her 870: 947) 33 0 3 0 4 1 = 41 (-her 60: -19, +her 60: 101) 3 3 0 3 0 4 1 = 14 (-her 24: -10, +her 24: 38) first word comparison: 414 + 33 = 447 414 - 33 = 381 33 + 414 = 447 33 - 414 = -381 second word comparison: 413 - 03 = 410 413 + 03 = 416 03 - 413 = -410 03 + 413 = 416 third word comparison: 041 - 43 = -2 041 + 43 = 84 43 - 041 = 2 43 + 041 = 84 would be kindof neat to make a program that does this now with s=5: now, with a=4, i=1 e=3 s=5: sarita marie james 54r1t4 m4r13 j4m35 5414413435 5414 413 435 5 4 1 44 1 3 4 3 5 5 4 1 4 4 1 3 4 3 5 steven loren fountain 5t3v3n l0r3n f0unt41n 53303041 533 03 041 = 5 33 0 3 0 4 1 = 5 3 3 0 3 0 4 1 = ahh fuck it i'm gonna write a program to do this.. [45 minutes later] BEHOLD: [1220]http://dreamscape.org/code/numerology u can edit it to assign letter values to things for whatever you like, maybe its different than just some vowels. certain sounds. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group [1221]Read More... (4 comments) leetness, i'm thinking Posted by [1222]slf on Thu Feb 17 2005 15:59 ([1223]got somethin to say?) ([1224]Link) (hMz) slf: you have ipv6 capabilities? (slf) doubt it * slf shrugs (slf) i can *remember* ip addresses (slf) hehe;) (slf) what the hell is this, fidonet?! (slf) jesus man ;) (slf) hehe (slf) cause when u pop that drama soembodys gonna SEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ABOUT YOOOOOOOOOUUU o/ Cause its a test to see you're a [blip!] or theres a GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG about YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! o/~ (slf) i heart this song. (slf) ;) (slf) i'm afraid to enter halfmoonbay's magnifying glass (slf) the head witches of that place jock me (slf) blondie (slf) karina (slf) karina's cousin (slf) they all swooped up on me like in 5 minutes of enterin that place (slf) blondie started it (slf) and when i got there, i got somebodys attention (slf) because i was there over the tsunami. (slf) I got my own outpost to scream from thank u (slf) im level with the santa cruz mountains (slf) boucin shit straight into and from my windah (slf) none of those ppl r the head witch (slf) but they are pretty damn close (slf) i got my own armada thank u * slf queues some music (slf) god is trying to give me what i was inately born with, beyond any shadow of a doubt, i'm thinking (slf) all these coincidences are the real secret about the bay area (slf) and why this place is so sacred (slf) i'm really suprised i didn't step up to the mic and the light alot earlier (slf) fuckin lucasarts woulda put me in starwars3 (slf) [u kno i coulda been an extra in the matrix3?] (slf) hehe (slf) in the rave scene (slf) but i didnt go, i was too busy being an architect (slf) tech support begat noc work which begat system administration which begat system administration which begat system programming which begat this thing that started to feel like omnipotent spiritual evangelism (slf) a couple steps away from principal scientist, sr. researcher, and retire damnit (slf) i have my scroll on the whole org chart, actually (slf) ;) (slf) of the entire engineering, operations, and engineering for operations borders (slf) with a offshoot into administration (slf) and an offshoot into scientific institualization (slf) i made my own damn offshoot * slf chuckles. (slf) And not in another regurgitated company. (slf) Farrrrrrrrr from it. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group who knew? Posted by [1225]slf on Thu Feb 17 2005 15:44 ([1226]got somethin to say?) ([1227]Link) (slf) shit i got u feelin like a apostle now dont i (slf) little cultist hard at work! haha ;) (slf) aint it leet i stole dreamscape.org/illusion.org (slf) ;) (slf) and tried to do it justice (slf) i miss compulsion.org (slf) jeff gave me that shit (slf) way back (slf) and then somebody took dat shit from me (slf) dreamscape.org is almost 10 yrs old:) * slf chuckles. (slf) oh yea (slf) i founded alot of the ISP's in portland too (slf) and put my .02 in (slf) and! (slf) I sold the first DSL circuit ever to ticketmaster. (slf) w/pairgain 768k hDSL (hMz) i miss cyberterrorist.com (hMz) and pimp.edu (slf) elite.edu (slf) ;) (slf) yes the .edu's were the best ;)? (slf) i still think something has to be done to create cl.it.or.us (hMz) i couldnt believe we got pimp.edu (slf) gotta make a city in oregon called IT (hMz) we had mad photoshop'd pictures of brown U (hMz) with the sign saying Philidelphia Institute of Music and Photography (hMz) everywhere (hMz) it was awesome. (slf) i was sportin jizz.c all over the place (slf) aliens.area51.mil n shit (hMz) oh (hMz) im talking about real hosts :p (slf) back b4 people hacked irc servers to do this shit. (slf) YES I AM TOO (hMz) i spoofed foe years (slf) ;) (slf) did you know home.netscape.com was spoofed to go to www.netcom.com before there were transparent proxies? ;) (hMz) poisoning ns' all over the place (slf) like, actively hacked (slf) a prodigal child came out of the netcom days. (hMz) it was for the best. (slf) icee. (slf) he went to work for exodus. (slf) w/the godfather (hMz) exodus is the devil man (slf) I was there on the first day of their grand opening of the walsh data center. (hMz) so was i (slf) and the godfather is the man I hung out with for 8 hrs outside of the place (slf) smokin cigarettes (hMz) we were moving in our stuff (slf) CACKLE (hMz) we had the one of the first racks (hMz) 4 back (hMz) in the middle (hMz) (right in front of the door) (slf) I was there. ;) (slf) u were dere ;) (slf) bwahahah (hMz) and we didnt know each other (hMz) wow. (slf) I was out there the whole time (slf) I was out there the whole time (hMz) i was working with fogdog sports (hMz) and we had just moved the boxen from our (hMz) corporate LAN (slf) I heard caligri truespace (the rendering guys) ate so much BW the godfather had to get shitty silkscreen cable and wrap it around a power transformer. (slf) before there was rateshaping ;) (slf) he gave me my career at msn hotmail (slf) i was one of the first people he got a job for (slf) he woulda let me in on exodus (slf) except for the fact that i couldn't program perl for shit (slf) at the time. (slf) same goes for jordan ritter. (slf) from napster. (slf) *at the time* (slf) it all ties back in (slf) i would never be told that ever again (slf) and have it carry that kind of weight and impact (slf) u kno i actually think i'm more influencial than JWZ (slf) i wanna buy out his block one day and tear all the inside walls down (slf) leet (slf) teh half moon bay guy called me (slf) matter afact (slf) I talked about Half Moon Bay (slf) once again (slf) and my thoughts were intercepted. (slf) and I was called. (slf) AGAIN! (slf) matter afact (slf) it was one of the 2 people i was with before the tsunami (slf) muwhahahaa (slf) talking about the 3rd person. (slf) Bwhaha. (slf) leet. (slf) angry channeling that shit at the 4th person, who deserves it (slf) who knew? ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group 4nd th3n?! ch3ck 1t, c0n1nu3d... Posted by [1228]slf on Thu Feb 17 2005 15:10 ([1229]got somethin to say?) ([1230]Link) (slf) ha ha half the people who d/l my journal start going "hey my crappy connection is all sucked up" (slf) literally, and in more ways than one.. (slf) [ha ha] (slf) i got xray vision when it comes to veils (slf) its kinda neat (slf) the meaning inside the meaning inside the meaning is the polar opposite of the gift of (slf) the meaning outside the meaning outside the meaning which is root cause analysis (slf) GOT ROOT? (slf) [also, i started that one] (slf) ask burgie. he'll deny it. (hMz) i donn man! (hMz) i remember saying got root (hMz) like right after the 1st milk commerical i ever saw (slf) i printed the tshirts. (slf) i also sported and flourished the fuchno shirts. (slf) w/b0n3z (hMz) o (hMz) why didnt you copyright br0? (hMz) HEH (slf) fuck copyright (slf) fuck people knowing whats better for you to know or not know (slf) liberate dat SHIT! (slf) im sayin (slf) why didn't I sue jack in the box when they gave me ecoli? (hMz) because you didnt want to be rich? (hMz) the publicisity would ruin your blog (slf) why havent i made MILLIONS suing people *I* called friend? (slf) because it aint right! (slf) because I am a man of my word! (slf) I had the right of response, but it still AINT RIGHT (slf) to me, it is stealing (hMz) your right (hMz) you're playing robin hood (hMz) stealing from corporate america (hMz) for fucking up (slf) same goes for when i was fighting the SS, the NSA and the FBI (hMz) another loophole in the system (slf) because they offlined my box for 2 months (slf) it still AINT RIGHT (hMz) as if they dont get you on technicalities (slf) not only is it not right, it woulda been CRIMINAL (hMz) and loopholes (hMz) the irs i a governement bound professional anal assaultant (slf) look there r lots of wayz of lookin at it (hMz) doing nothing more thant sticking you up on technicalities and aligations (slf) to reach the same conclusion (hMz) if you're gonna say fuck the man (slf) I am on a divine mission from god and have been spared so many fuckin times that I aint tryin to condemn myself after a life of service (hMz) you have to be wiling _TO_ fuck the man. (slf) u feel me? (slf) if i was persecuted and still did the right thing (slf) then THAT is the right thing to do. (slf) checkout my greatsword of insertion up in this muthafucka (slf) BA BLOW ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group check it, CONTINUED... Posted by [1231]slf on Thu Feb 17 2005 14:58 ([1232]got somethin to say?) ([1233]Link) (hMz) fucking mac users are scary man. (hMz) wait (hMz) maybe i should just say (hMz) scary menm. (slf) and where was I the last time i HAD A BONFIRE? (slf) oh yeah thats right in half moon bay in PREPARATION FOR THE TSUNAMI the night before (slf) screaming in my heart (slf) manifesting my WORST FEAR (slf) it was the night before christmas (slf) and all through the house (slf) it wuz empty bcuz we wuz on the beach (slf) as quiet as a WALL OF FUCKIN WATER ABOUT TO LIBERATE A SHITLOAD OF SPIRITS (slf) ya wanna know the fucked up thing i was doing? (slf) sending waves (slf) imprinting the waves (slf) embedding my shit into the cliff (slf) a projection spot naturally (slf) with everything i had in me (slf) maybe KEEPING THAT FUCKIN WALL OF WATER FROM WIPING US OUT (slf) how the hell do I know (slf) what the fuck is real anyway (slf) if i had a million dollars for every coincidence.. (slf) every close call... (slf) every near death experience.. (slf) every time i've had a reaction to an action i didn't know i was doing.. (slf) i'd fuckin BUY THIS WHOLE GODDAMN COUNTRY (slf) shit i kicked myself off the internet with that one (slf) haha (slf) there is a REASON i have a highly fragile wireless connection in the house on a frequency so close to the resonation of water (nughaud) is that reason insanity (slf) might be if u want it to be (nughaud) I do, indeed. (slf) so be it (nughaud) doing things for the sake of being sane is lame (slf) analytical overlay (reason) defeats belief (faith) (nughaud) make insanity your priority today, click here (slf) so true, so true. (nughaud) you don't need any of that (slf) no that dress doesnt make u look fat! (nughaud) it makes you look irrational! (slf) and incredibly SOMETHING! check it and gimmie back my lighter Posted by [1234]slf on Thu Feb 17 2005 14:43 ([1235]got somethin to say?) ([1236]Link) (slf) u kno the funny thing is, i found my old napster laptop w/my next door neighbor? (slf) i went over to smoke with him one day (hMz) and left it?!? (hMz) hahah (slf) and he busts out my old vaio complete with busted N and M key and cdrom (slf) he stole it (slf) somehow (hMz) :O (slf) shawn fanning gave it to this drummer (slf) who i ended up meeting 2-3yrs later (slf) :) (slf) i didnt kno it (slf) until i saw it (slf) and the napster sticker removal spot, and the keys being busted, and the unique way i broke the cdrom n shit (slf) he jacked it from him anyway (slf) his dad is the dood who manages a bank over at the pruneyard (slf) hes black (slf) its kinda cool how the black dood lamont (slf) and clay and bryan (slf) all got me thinkin about my roots (hMz) haha (slf) we've been psychometrically sharing the same shit anyway (hMz) small world. (slf) i stored alot of emotions in that laptop. (slf) it is no wonder to me why shawn gave it to him * slf looks at clusin's turntables * slf looks at kenneth's oxygen8 * slf looks at the wavelan cards smyle gave him * slf looks at the cellmania laptop which turned into a router and refused to quit working * slf looks at the educational baby toy sitting on his shelf that formerly served in a dentists waiting room. * slf looks at sarita's journal * slf looks at his own box of sentimental memories * slf looks at the GPS the shoutcast author gave him (slf) ...while using the wavelan card smyle gave me.. * slf looks at john's old cell phone. (slf) bwhaha (slf) almost explains alot of things, to me. (slf) that I dare not say. (slf) and dare never do again. (slf) *chuckle* (slf) go ahead label me a crazy conspiracy theorist (slf) i got the jump on ya'll anyway (slf) or... john's records. bwhaha. (slf) ...or.... the Apple laptop that was stolen from my house? (slf) er, i mean, my car (slf) along with the emotions and feelings i put into his birth documents? (slf) the attractivity of that device, which i created so much upon? (slf) i can create artifacts. jesus. (slf) go ahead and borrow my lighter (slf) i got another 20 just like it (slf) fuqr (slf) the LURE of the forbidden information? (slf) the CURIOSITY about someone (slf) or SOME THING.. (slf) gimmie a LIGHT we got a BONFIRE to start with this KINDLING (slf) bwhaha ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group divine wisdom to be sure Posted by [1237]slf on Thu Feb 17 2005 14:18 ([1238]got somethin to say?) ([1239]Link) (slf) i bet the only way to get world peace (slf) is to put all the shit on the table (slf) and to make it through it (slf) u n me kno whuts goin on (slf) whoever u r (slf) HAHAH this is funny too (slf) MASONIC CALIBUR JUDGEMENTS - man she really was on the money (slf) "A community and a culture must satisfy the basic needs of any free (slf) individual: to embark on any project! To feel as though any goal worthy of (slf) attempting might be attainable by anyone with the desire to seek that (slf) goal! To feel as though all people are capable of messianic caliber (slf) judgements, and that all people would make the same decisions if they had (slf) the same information. To feel that all of us try to work together towards (slf) the mutual goals of increasing the likelihood that everyone in the (slf) community will have a moment that evening in which they think to (slf) themselves "Life is good: I am healthy, and have sufficient human contact (slf) to sustain myself. From my fellow humans, I receive an infinity of riches: (slf) shelter, food, companionship, empathy. I shall never be without need as (slf) long as I have human companionship." (slf) people really DID *ASK* for hacker involvement. (slf) *BEG* for it (slf) for *YEARS* (slf) You see us as your magistrate (slf) and SO WE SHAL yea.. Posted by [1240]slf on Thu Feb 17 2005 13:48 ([1241]got somethin to say?) ([1242]Link) kindness for weakness my ass Yea, we'll kid you with kindness alright. watch me pimp busta rhymes style and piss off a shitload of people at the same time, check it Posted by [1243]slf on Thu Feb 17 2005 13:44 ([1244]got somethin to say?) ([1245]Link) (slf) leet. (slf) lucas arts is reading my shit (slf) my apple following is back. (slf) the godfather of the colo and asp industry is reading my shit. (slf) microsoft boy is reading my shit (slf) matter a fact fucking everybody is reading my shit. (slf) bwhaha. (slf) oatmeal is t3h sux (slf) "It made our job really easy and it was a pleasure to see the expression on his face when we showed him the pictures as we interviewed him," he said. (slf) He said he was "devastated" by the break-in, but admitted to a feeling of satisfaction in helping catch Park with the camera. (slf) u kno (slf) the funny thing is (slf) I wrote all of the original bitchx quit msgs (slf) and those are markov chains and setted flows that follow form too (slf) enraptured.within.a.seductive.illusion.org (slf) is *ALSO* a markov chain of a setted immersion of flow (slf) neat. (slf) the meaning inside the meaning inside the meaning (slf) protected by a triple veil (slf) q quintuple veil (slf) enraptured ensnares the word within (slf) and within ensnares the word seductive (slf) seductive ensnanres by itself (slf) illusion is something that ensnares (slf) and an organization is something that ensnares (slf) thats fucking dope. (slf) *VANITY HOSTNAME PIMPS TRANSMUE INTO RAPPERS* (slf) *THASHIT/NETSEX.IRC/BLABLA SCRIPT KIDDIES TRANSMUTE INTO RAPPERS* (slf) bwahha (slf) *MUSICIANS TRANSMUTE INTO RAPPERS* (slf) brought u the mp3 (slf) the quit msg (slf) the vhost (slf) t3h cr4pt4st1c h4x0r3z3 (slf) the dark blue, blue white crap (slf) ice and fire (slf) [inspired alot of people over the years, im thinking] (slf) fuck bill gates and fuck steve jobs (slf) i'd rater be steve the muse (slf) fuck richard stallman too (slf) with his MIT lab n shit (slf) im on the STREETS WHERE THE SHIT REALLY HAPPENS bwhaha (slf) or is... going to happen (slf) bwhaha how many pieces of jazz, to quite melanie rawn, have i actually created or helped create? (slf) And I have punk ass 13 year olds hitting me with the phases and tribulations I laid out for them (slf) what the fuck is that. (slf) identity theft? (slf) 13 yr old dumbassness? (slf) I took over #warez for months thats why they had to write the TS patch bwaha (slf) shit i even fucked with #twilight_zone (slf) i used to fucking admin a juped aol server (slf) bwhaha (slf) grow the fuck up (slf) goddamnit. (slf) that shit was played out like gopher 13 yrs ago (slf) literally (slf) and in more f'ing ways than one (slf) jesus christ (slf) i organicly developed the culture that i'm being persecuted from (slf) it busts my chops (slf) i fucking STOLE hackbot/combot (slf) a5p and released that shit (slf) bwhaha (slf) would U want to use tcl? or eggdrop? (slf) NOT I! (slf) nuke.c? gimmie dat shit, fencer (slf) jizz.c? gimmie dat shit, jordy (slf) pepsi.c? gimmie that shit, dont remember who u were (slf) bwhaha. (slf) i may be a fucking moron (slf) and a lamer (slf) but by goddamnit i did something intangible (slf) and i may be the most infameous moron on the face of the planet, proud to be, in the shadows. (slf) #linuxwarez? #e? #2600? #california? #iov? #iobg? (slf) bwhaha (slf) dare i go back? (slf) #oldwarez? #warez1, #warez5, #warez3, #warez2, #warez (slf) ...i think ill stop there. (slf) i only let u kno what i want u to kno, persecution sold seperately. (slf) now with 1's and 0's (slf) bwhaha (slf) i think kids with super crazy videogames - all tactics and entertainment (slf) learn nothing of the theories and the structures (slf) i miss fuckin gopher (slf) back in time (slf) to that place i was (slf) when this all happened (slf) and everything photographically in my mind ever since then (slf) it really doesnt stop there (slf) 2nd and jackson (slf) homebase - ah homebase (slf) 85th and baldwin (slf) 11th and webster (slf) maritime hall (slf) every fairgrounds in california (slf) every campout spot in california (slf) the greatful dead spot (slf) frogtown usa in angels camp (slf) the caves in angels camp (slf) the three farmers spots in angels camp (slf) the skyline blvd renegades (slf) the SF pier renegades (slf) the imperal walker renegades (slf) the berkeley district renegades (slf) all the oakland renegades (slf) *laugh* (slf) encouraging smart mobs for defcon's bay area caravan for 2-3 yrs in a row? (slf) and then NOT BEING THERE the yr they get exhibition of speed tickets (slf) bwhaha (slf) i was a fuckin daddy! (slf) goddamnit! (slf) i drove my 7-8 month old infant to the desert (slf) and back (slf) u can do EVERYTHING you put your mind to and you can do EVERYTHING I am a MAN OF MY WORD, I am NO DANGER to anyone, and I NEVER HAVE BEEN. and I FORGIVE YOU ALL FOR HOW YOU TREATED ME I am a STRONGER MAN BECAUSE OF IT kindness for weakness my ass mailboxes etc Posted by [1246]slf on Thu Feb 17 2005 12:39 ([1247]got somethin to say?) ([1248]Link) Awwww. Man I have to practically fight the guy at mailboxes etc to take my change, he mailed my unemployment form for free. Ya know now that I think about it I think he would be probably be good friend material. Between that and the faxes how do I make it up to him????? Oh yeah and the keys. Dang man. You really are somethin extra yo. ..slf [1249]Read More... (1 comments) ugh the neighbors strike back Posted by [1250]slf on Thu Feb 17 2005 10:46 ([1251]got somethin to say?) ([1252]Link) He who has the bass should not be woken from his healing slumber -- When all he has are his dreams And a injured rib And no food ..slf she loves me this much!!!!! I love her this much!!!!! - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1253]slf on Wed Feb 16 2005 18:59 ([1254]got somethin to say?) ([1255]Link) WOW!!! MY BREATH IS TAKEN AWAY! the funny part is that i actually didn't realize i had set this out on the floor prior to making the phonecall to her after what must be the coolest 2hr phonecall we have had in a super super super long time..... I saw a rainbow right as I was talking to her!! I made that rainbow happen! I pulled that moon down! I changed spirituality! I moved heaven and took a picture just so I could give you a better view!!!! I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YOU SARITA!!!! H111111111111! how many people do you know who can tell you they'll pull down heaven to give you a better view and ACTUALLY MAKE IT HAPPEN?! not just one, but TWO! is this romantic or what?! i'll paint my picture outta REALITY! i will honor you forever! harnessing the sunlight - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1256]slf on Wed Feb 16 2005 08:53 ([1257]got somethin to say?) ([1258]Link) ..slf 1 f0und th3 0n3 b3c4uz3 1 h03d 0ut t0 th3 z3r0 Posted by [1259]slf on Wed Feb 16 2005 05:25 ([1260]got somethin to say?) ([1261]Link) (slf) 1 f0und th3 0n3 b3c4uz3 1 h03d 0ut t0 th3 z3r0 (slf) l1t3r4lly 4nd 1n m0r3 w4yz th3n 0n3 (slf) im h0p1ng t0 m4k3 u f33l l3ft 0ut b3f0r3 w3 f1gur3 0ut th4t 0n3 (slf) bw4h4h4h4h4 g1mm3 my ch3ck b4ck 1m g01n t0 th3 1nd14n d00d 4t th3 g4s st4t10n Posted by [1262]slf on Wed Feb 16 2005 05:12 ([1263]got somethin to say?) ([1264]Link) (slf) man i had to hustle just to write a check (slf) heh (slf) ;) (slf) WHAT THE HECK! (slf) I AINT GOT 100$ BILLS IN THIS DECK (slf) ELECTRONIC VERIFICATION FAILED OVER DAILY LIMIT?! (slf) What the FUCK ITS NOT LIKE I SPENT IT! (slf) When i SAid I could cover it I MEANT IT (slf) im a man of my word WHAT U DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEANT BY IT?! (slf) i got the solution to y0 acc0unt4b1l1ty pr0bl3mz (slf) thumbpr1nt my d33mmmmv333 ID, my s0c14l (slf) my l3ft t3st1cl3 (slf) tw0 p1ntz 0f bl00d (slf) 4nd my sw34t 4nd t34rz (slf) l1t3r4lly 4nd 1n m0r3 w4yz th3n 0n3! (slf) s3m3n s4mpl3 (slf) b1rth c3rt1f1c4t3!? (slf) wh4t d0 u m34n A MILLION FORMS OF ID?! (slf) all i got are these 35 f0rmz r1ght h3r3 (slf) NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR U?! (slf) g1mm3 my ch3ck b4ck 1m g01n t0 th3 1nd13n d00d 4t th3 g4s st4t10n (slf) 4t l34st h3 w0nt fl1p m3 4ny l1p (slf) 4t l34st h3 h4z s0m3th1ng t0 b3 4fr41d 0f (slf) g0d d4mn1t ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group 1ll put th3 r3kk1dz 4w4y 4t f1rst l1ght! Posted by [1265]slf on Wed Feb 16 2005 04:52 ([1266]got somethin to say?) ([1267]Link) (slf) w0w (slf) i can talk to smarterchild (slf) the bot on AIM (slf) and rap to it (slf) haha (slf) and say whatever the fuck i want (slf) like its a retarted eliza (slf) ELIZA VS. MR FOUNTAIN's LYRICS H1gHSP33d (slf) its pretty funny (slf) [cause when u got drop that drama or whack somebody we GONNA SEEEEEEEEEEEE ABOUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!] (slf) [cause its a test to see if your a blip or theres SOME G ABOUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUU] (slf) [cause its a test to see if your a blip or you got some G ABOUT UUUUUUUUUUU] (slf) hehe (slf) i 8) that song (slf) SIGNALS RECEIVED, LOUD AND CLEAR. (slf) REPEATED AND REBROADCAST PER YOUR SPECIFICATION, SIR. (slf) ROGER ROGER. (slf) i wonder if i would still be this hardcore about this if there werent somebody super pissed off at me right nwo (slf) ahahha (slf) ALL the neighbors still awake speculating at me (slf) WHEN THE FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE GOING TO LEARN THAT I'M GONNA JUST KEEP DOING IT MORE?! (slf) JUST MIND YOUR OWN GOD DAMN FUCKING BUSINESS PLEASE. (slf) DANCIN?! (slf) BUMPIN?! (slf) FUCK! I LIVE HERE TOO (slf) take it up with the landlady for the floors being crap (slf) aint my fuckin problem (slf) I feel like dancing what about YOOUUUU! (slf) t4p t4p t4p (slf) st0mp st0mp [WHACK!] (slf) everytime they have sent some thoughts at me (slf) i have just played more music (slf) worked harder (slf) stayed up later (slf) bumped dirtier (slf) IF U STRIKE ME DOWN I SHAL BECOME MORE POWERFUL THAN U CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE (slf) SUCKA (slf) i got my turntables set up in here like it was the bottomless well from interview with a vampire (slf) haha (slf) GOTTA PLAY IT TILL THE LAST RECORD SPINS (slf) either that or it warps and turns to dust in the morning (slf) n0 1nt3rupt10nz! (slf) i'd have to compensate by bumpin a shitload of jungle or rap or drum and bass or freestyle or instrumentals to compensate (slf) AND U KNO HOW U PEOPLE FEEL ABOUT THE MIDDLE EASTERN TERRORIST VIOLIN SOLOS (slf) DE_DUST mufucka! (slf) 1ll put th3 r3kk1dz 4w4y 4t f1rst l1ght! (slf) bwhaha (slf) GOT A LIGHT?! damn, thats right! (slf) --- still 3 hrs l3ft ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group b4ck 0n th3 m1ss10n Posted by [1268]slf on Wed Feb 16 2005 04:13 ([1269]got somethin to say?) ([1270]Link) (slf) i dont even go outside for more than 1h a day (slf) and 2 chicks mack on me (slf) and 1 d00d?!?! [his mind scared me] (slf) chick in line wuz like, breeeer, hi sexy! (slf) and the hot ass batchle was like SURE ILL BE HAPPY TO HELP U! (slf) fuck makin me feel l1k3 1 g0t g4m3 (slf) w0rds fly1n 4ll 0v3r th3 m0th3rfuck1n pl4c3! (slf) I see what you're thinking at me! (slf) bwhaha (slf) right back atcha, beautiful! (slf) does your BF know ure stalking me (slf) reading my journal 24x7 like it was CRACK laid out all over ME?? (slf) why aint u being faithful to y0ur m4n?! (slf) its obvious u need the extra d0ll4rz (slf) u thought i was an apple?! r1ng r1ng h0ll3r h0ll3r (slf) HAHAHA IM THE WHOLE GODDAMN APPLESEED PLANTATION GONE TO FRUITITION! (slf) APPLES FOR EVERYONE! (slf) HAHA (slf) h3ll h3r3z 4n 4ppl3 f0r y0ur b0yfr13nd (slf) t3ll h1m t0 g3t s0m3 g4m3 4nd t0 4sk h1m t0 4sk y0u t0 qu1t c4ll1ng m3 t0 quit f0ll0w1ng m3 4nd t0 quit w0ll0w1ng 1n m3 1tz n0t l1k3 u h4d 4 b4by w1th m3 wh4ts y0ur d4m4g3 d0 y0u h4v3 4 PROBL3M W1TH M3?!?! (slf) no hot batchles should go hungry - EXCEPT YOU! (slf) no hot batchle left behind - EXCEPT HER! BECAUSE SHES MINE!. (slf) im thinking - CAUSE IM FAITHFUL!. (slf) dr4w th3 l1n3 0n y0 w41st (slf) n y0 f4c3! (slf) n th0z3 h1dd3n th1ngs 1n y0 b0dd1c3 h1dd1n by sp4c3! (slf) h0p3fully n0t sp1ll1n 4ll 0v3r th3 pl4c3! (slf) h3ll n0 1 d0nt w4nt 4 t4st3 (slf) ur 4zz 1z l4y1n w4st3! (slf) d3c1m1t1n th3 pl4c3! (slf) whut-a-f'ing d1sgr4c3! (slf) b1gg3st 4zz 1n th3 St4t3! (slf) n4t10n4l m0num3nt up 1n th1s pl4c3! (slf) m0unt 4zzm0r3, m4t3! (slf) f'ing g0dd4mn1t i-dont-wanna-throw-away-a-good-thing but g0d f'ing d4mn1t (slf) 1m g0nn4 b3 th3 0rch4rd n ur g0nn4 g0 0n a D13T! (slf) shutup! b3 qu13t! (slf) u c0uld l0s3 s0m3 w31ght if u'd just try 1t! (slf) fucking h3ff3r U CANT DENY IT (slf) f4t b1tch s4ys whut!? (slf) 1m s0 f4r 0utt4 y0ur l3agu3 th3y'd hav3 t0 str3tch y0u t0 th3 t1ck3t l1n3 at0m f0r at0m (slf) 1m n0t try1ng t0 m4k3 u l3ft0ut but u a fat on3 b3f0r3 w3 f1gur3 0ut th4t 0n3 (slf) f4c3 l1k3 4 d1cksuck1ng r4c3h0rs3 (slf) n333333333333111111111ggggghhhhhhh w111111111lllllllburrrrrrr (slf) ch3ck y0 w4ll3t f0' th4t p1ctur3 (slf) f41thful h34rtZ m4k3 w1sh3z c0m3 tru3 (slf) 1f sh3 0nly kn3w -- (slf) c4n s0m3b0dy t3ll h3r?! (slf) g0d d4mn1t thats MYYYYYYYYY pikachu. i'm in love with you sarita. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group r3gul4r p0ny 3xpr3zz! n0w w1th 0n3z 4nd z3r0s Posted by [1271]slf on Wed Feb 16 2005 03:39 ([1272]got somethin to say?) ([1273]Link) (slf) what the hell is the post office doing looking at dreamscape.org/illusion.org at 2am (slf) maybe ill inspire a POSTAL RAPPER (slf) atleastitllbeagoodalternative to CAPPIN YA (slf) I'm really tempted to KEEP RAPPIN AT YA (slf) uknothaturjustmadwhenucme SLAPPIN AT YA (slf) what the hell more do u have to LOOOOSE (slf) my style is willlllllllllllllldddddddddd (slf) ur never gonna keep my childdddddddddddd (slf) u thing thats wronggggggggggggggggggggg? (slf) tell it to my bongggggggggggggggggggggg! (slf) im gonna r4p u 0ut (slf) im g0nn4 r4p u 0ut (slf) w3'z r0ll1n w1th lyr1cs h1ghsp33d n0wwwww! (slf) im g0nn4 r4p u 0ut (slf) uz gnona keep screeeeeeamin n shouuuuuutin (slf) BAP BAP BAP BAP BAP stop yo mouFin! (slf) whatthehelldouthinkurmakinmeDO IM NOT SHOUTIN (slf) ima just POOOOUUUUUTTTTTIIIN (slf) im g0nna r4p u 0ut (slf) 1m g0nn4 r4p u 0ut (slf) w3'z r0ll1n w1th lyr1cs h1ghsp33d 0r s0m3th1n (slf) whut u d0wnl04d1n?! (slf) ima downloadin yo p1ctur4! n ur m1xtur3! (slf) n ur scr1ptur3! (slf) n ur---- ur...... f1ctur3! (slf) 1m g0nn4 r4p u 0ut (slf) im g0nna r4p u 0ut (slf) IMA GONNA SCREAM N SHOUT (slf) im g0nna r4p u 0ut (slf) All I gotta do is write rap responses to every song ever made (slf) I can battle them on their own fucking merits. (slf) Poison to their antibody. (slf) Locks to their keys. (slf) Keys to their locks. (slf) Antithesis to their grand masterpiece (slf) yo kindergarden art to my uber thesis (slf) IM GONNA RUN DOWN THE HALLWAY AND OPEN EVERY DOOR (slf) CLOSE EVERY DOOR THATS OPEN FLIP ON EVERY SWITCH THATS OFF (slf) TURN OFF EVERY SWITCH THATS OFF (slf) FUCK WITH EVERY LEVEL (slf) GAME WITH EVERY KNOB (slf) IM GONNA CHANGE YO PASSWORD BY ONE LETTER (slf) UPPERCASE DAT SHIT WHERE ITS LOWERCASED (slf) LOWERCASE THAT SHIT WHERE ITS UPPERCASED (slf) h4x0r1fy d4t sh1t wh3r3 1tz n0rm4l (slf) normalify that shit where is haxor (slf) REDIRECT THAT SHIT WHERES ITS DESTINED (slf) PUT THAT SHIT IN A HUNDRED FILES WHERE ITZ GOIN TO ONE (slf) RANDOMLY (slf) ya'll aint gonna kno what to think! (slf) thats yo written destiny! (slf) fate is mathematics and i'm the COST to y0 chance (slf) predictibility is BULLSHIT and i'm the FREE SHIT you get for a HUNDRED DOLLARS (slf) mintwrong t0 y0 c0pyr1ght! (slf) 1ma b3 th3 c0ntr0ll t0 y0ur v4r1bl3 (slf) 1ma b3 th3 ENTROPHY t0 y0 c0nst4nt (slf) if u wuz th3 sh1t u g0nn4 b3 t3h sux! (slf) if u wuz t3h sux u g0nn4 b3 the shit! (slf) 1f u wuz g00d u g0nn4 b3 3v1l (slf) if u wuz a l0v3r u g0nn4 b3 a h4t3r (slf) 3tc 3tc etc.. (slf) on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on.. (slf) AND THEN?!?! (slf) NEITHER IF ELSE!@# MUTHAFUCKA (slf) NEXT?! LAST?! (slf) PREVIOUS AND THE FIRST, GODDAMNIT! (slf) i read yo email! (slf) i listen to yo mp3z! (slf) PRIVACY?! (slf) more like TRANSPARENCY! (slf) REALITY?! (slf) more like a simulation im thinking. (slf) n0w w1th 0n3z 4nd z3r0s (slf) OPEN UP, THIS IS THE POLICE, I MEAN, THE POST OFFICE (slf) b1tfl1pp3rz (slf) b1tsn1tch3rz (slf) b1twh1pp3rz (slf) r3gul4r p0ny 3xpr3zz (slf) n0w w1th 0n3z 4nd z3r0s (slf) -- and 3's (slf) and 333's (slf) and 3 3 3's (slf) and 333333333333333333333333333333333333's! ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group u know I get it, so BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK the FUUUUUUCK OFFFFFFFFF! Posted by [1274]slf on Wed Feb 16 2005 01:58 ([1275]got somethin to say?) ([1276]Link) (slf) Man how can i *not* make fun of this spam. (slf) turning the contrast/brightness from 0 to max was kinda funny. (slf) I swear to god I have to rap to this trance song with the battle bongs. (slf) If I can do it to cold as ice (slf) and the piecemaker (slf) and ghostface killa (slf) and then listen to role model's instrumental (slf) (all insts) (slf) and then the aphex twin violin solo (slf) i can jump right into tracks like this and do the same thing. (slf) Cackle (slf) I know what causes mutants.. I know what causes mutants.. (slf) Hahahahahahha.. (slf) here fishy fishy! (slf) EAT UP! (slf) HAHAHA (slf) like the secret oooze (slf) !@! (slf) my dad saught that shit out (slf) fuqr (slf) sandy river (slf) scappose river (slf) canby river (slf) the gorge (slf) the willamette (slf) Funny that the thing that coats against neurological insanity happens to carry parasites that build up to cause insanity. (slf) GIFTS (slf) :) (slf) forcing u to believe this n that (slf) but all the more power to it (slf) i am but a harpsichord (slf) its so cool to see sound (slf) haha (slf) hearing processed to meaning processed to visualization or sometimes without that middle part (slf) i dont know how i see it, but i see it (slf) and not visually (slf) but like, i'm still receiving the information (slf) that i discern shit about (slf) i see the structure of all things i hear (slf) and the phrase weaving (slf) things that make people swing are just as powerful if not more than things that make people feel and think (slf) make people.. pissed off. (slf) or follow u (slf) because any three notes must make a temporary tetragrammaton signature (slf) sometimes incomplete on the last one (slf) sortof a fill in the blank plz (slf) which is why people like it so much. (slf) any three things. (slf) triangulation. (slf) tetragrammaton. (slf) the relation alone makes the signature. (slf) the bass line (slf) DUN (slf) DUT (slf) DUN (slf) ) (slf) ( (slf) ) (slf) (slf) / (slf) (slf) is still a triangle. (slf) *chuckle* (slf) jesus (slf) the symbolism was a riddle. (slf) in a riddle. (slf) holy shit (slf) i just discovered something about light (slf) i have a candle (slf) a green one (slf) and i cut a hole in it (slf) like a pyramid (slf) and i held my hand out (slf) and it made a rainbow (slf) GRAVITATIONAL LIGHT LENSING! (slf) HAHA (slf) THATS SO FUCKING SICK! (slf) at a certain height (slf) 1.5" inches away from the light (slf) about 1 inch down from the hole (slf) 1 foot away (slf) holding my hand (slf) there are rainbows. (slf) the spot of light, at the 2x of the distance away from the candle (slf) bends the light to split the light into fragments (slf) when the light wasn't high enough (slf) it stopped (slf) !!!! (slf) wow (slf) im gonna photograph this (slf) its kindof hard to do (slf) strange (slf) it cant achieve the rainbow with more than one hole. (slf) ha ha ha. (slf) the speed of light does affect the splitting of atoms (slf) or something closer to infinite speed (slf) i bet the fuck turtle can figure that one out too (slf) maybe it isin't even just the relation of the words. (slf) but any repeated pattern. (slf) dont have to be equal meaning triangle (slf) this shit is true for astrology (slf) the turtle (slf) the cell (slf) the ripple (slf) the wave (slf) the black hole (slf) the gravitational lens (slf) maybe the triangle is only the beginning (slf) the god riddle is a riddle in a riddle in a riddle in a riddle in a riddle (slf) as far as the mouth can spit (slf) mathematically at some level it can be explained. (slf) and extrapolated upon. (slf) i got my buttons on the surround sound controls too god (slf) stereo (slf) so get used to it (slf) or smite me down or gimmie my girl back (slf) cause your fuckin not gettin away with some of these ones (slf) ;) (slf) there really is the potential to make a light box that does something. (slf) anything. (slf) i imagien. (slf) i bet there is secret architecture (slf) just like indiana jones and the temple of doom (slf) er (slf) the raiders of the lost ark (slf) with the staff (slf) and the ruby (slf) triangulation (slf) literally (slf) and in more ways than one (slf) muwahha (slf) u have to understand after having sense projection and actually KILLING someone (slf) this has great meaning (slf) giving rise to some semblance of truth from robert jordan, the dragon prince / dragon king shit, the chaos / order series, and hmmm... oh, the jazz (slf) *chuckle* (slf) and the imbalanced logic of the world of tolkien explains a lot too (slf) more robert jordan, but only with tetragrammaton signatures (slf) with drawing sources like a vampire from the air around you (slf) or people you know (slf) well. (slf) very well. (slf) depending on your skill (slf) or people from thousands of miles awau... (slf) with a sense of ethics and order that there is allways something about the equation balancing itself out (slf) weaving (slf) .. (slf) i need to buy robert jordan a case of wine (slf) or something (slf) then he might never finish his books tho (slf) heh (slf) As more and more people read his shit (slf) he was compelled to dwell (slf) and think about how to best finish it. (slf) bwhahaha. * slf cues up www.bassdrive.com (slf) ill take over u all (slf) bring it (slf) capture the fr4g (slf) windows 999999999999999999999.0 in this protocol! (slf) election! (slf) Bring it! (slf) heahahah (slf) I AM THE BROWSER MASTER (slf) hahah (slf) ;) (slf) protocols. (slf) ;) (slf) algorithms. (slf) i got signatures u cant explain (slf) just try m3 (slf) ha ha (slf) MY GUNS GO BOOM (slf) YO GUNS GO FLOWER POWER (slf) MY GUNS GO BOOM BOOM (slf) YO GUNS GO FLOWER POWER (slf) MY GUNS GO BOOM BOOM (slf) YO GUNS GO FLOWER POWER (slf) MY GUNS GO BOOM BOOM (slf) YO GUNS GO FLOWER POWER (slf) THATS THE STYLE HOMEY (slf) YO GUNS GO FLOWER POWER (slf) leave it bassdrive to be the preachers choir (slf) chuckle (slf) I'm following the song, wonder who else is... (slf) CACKLE (slf) jesus (slf) ! ! ! ! ! (slf) !! - ! ! ! (slf) i wanna freestyle ontop of whatevers on bassdrive at the moment (slf) haha (slf) ;) (slf) i could totally and would totally flow to this song (slf) if i had a copy of it (slf) now my question now is (slf) can i tell where the people are that im borrowing bandwidth by telling when they jump in the hallway and screw my signal up? (slf) hah i really have a thing for the def jam fight for new york game (slf) and its soundtrack (slf) *chuckle* (slf) im gonna beat the damn game just to find out what the other 16 songs are (slf) heh (slf) worth every fuickin minute. (slf) that soundtrack is worth bootlegging from the damn game (slf) the def jam fight for ny xbox soundtrack rocks my nutz off (slf) i hacked every song. (slf) i gotta go setup a LP2 MD and bootleg that shit (slf) heh (slf) so between my finding the answers playlist (slf) my whitelabel delicious candy kitchen vinyl set (slf) and teh defjam set im gonna steal from the game (slf) i successfully have the holy trinity (slf) styles emotions and lyrics and verses gal0re (slf) doesnt matter whut u g0nna have in st0r3 (slf) someone would have to remember EVER SINGLE SONG I AM PLAYING (slf) note for note (slf) LETTER FOR LETTER (slf) WORD FOR WORD (slf) MEANING FOR MEANING (slf) METAMEANING FOR METAMEANING (slf) MICROMEANING FOR MICROMEANING (slf) MACROMEANING FOR MACROMEANING.. (slf) COMPLETELY (slf) 100% (slf) or else my tied off weave that return to is gonna do its job (slf) so fuq it (slf) i got the keys (slf) and im gonna go finish this jigsaw car (slf) and jumpstart the fuck outta this hash table vehicular action (slf) right back atcha we'z powered by fumes n MR FOUNTAIN (slf) frigging weak (slf) i have to buy cigarettes with a check (slf) and im down to granola bars (slf) and 2 cans of chili (slf) fuqin weak (slf) FOOD FOR THOUGHT IF I HAD ANY (slf) GODDAMNIT (slf) everything i say now is literally and in more ways than one (slf) isint it funny that the activation of the force in star trek terms is THE GOD DAMN F'ING SOUNDTRACK and then the MEANING of the MOVIE and the quotes and the WORDS (slf) er (slf) star wars (slf) yoda's all like DO OR NOT DO.. there is no TRY (slf) ha ha ah (slf) TRIANGULATE DAT SHIT (slf) trines (slf) triplets (slf) pretty much anything with a tr in it (slf) things with thr33z3 (slf) 1n thr33z3 (slf) 1 2 333's (slf) the birdz n the B33Z (slf) [wah wah wah!] (slf) i could totally cop bless's style like it aint even funny (slf) hes on my goto heaven list fo sho (slf) some of these rappers just make it SO DAMN EASY (slf) [thats supposed to be funny, wasnt it] (slf) [like ur gettin the hint now, arent u] (slf) But you live 6,000 ft above ground!?!?!?! (slf) Even if we did breathe there wouldnt be any OXYGEN!! (slf) Reverse, opposite or twisted meaning. Rinse and repeat. (slf) [explain it.] (slf) [they're dumb] (slf) [no, seriously, they're dumb.] (slf) who u think i am, JACKIE CHAN with INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH LUNGS? (slf) [oh hey wait a minute, y3a!] (slf) whut ab0ut th3 l1ttl3 0n3?!!? (slf) HOW CAN I PLAY ALONG without TELEPORTASHUN?! (slf) the begin of the 16 or the 32 is waited on until the last block or the last two blocks (slf) and then it builds up from being THE MEANMING INBETWEEN THE WORDS (slf) to things like THE MEANING _________ THE WORDS (slf) INTO ___ ________ ____________ ___ WORDS (slf) into THE MEANMING im-trying-to-squeeze-in-really-fast-into THE WORDS (slf) n shit (slf) on the breakdown (slf) bless's "get it now" is a sick song (slf) matter a fact i think i gotta go listen to that shit again (slf) hes got a style to cop off too (slf) just like all the other fuckin MODULES in my PERL PROCESSOR technologiez. (slf) there are two kinds of jedi mind hack (slf) throw millions of 1's and 0's and 3's and 4's and shit about fuckin everything and then BUST YO SUGGGESTION (slf) or just BUST YO SUGGESTION (slf) or just BUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTT YOOOOOOOOO SUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGESSSSSSSSSTION (slf) ..ok, three (slf) u keep extrapolatin and see if u can get m0r3 (slf) or the trojan h0rse (slf) where u get them drunk (slf) and them u tell them BUST YO SUGGESTION (slf) and theys like WWWWWHUT WUZ THE QUESTION? (slf) "In between these five words" (slf) "In vivvvvvvvvvvvvvvid words" (slf) "Innnnnnnnnnnnnnn nintendo!" (slf) "whhhhhhhhhhere did ben go!?" (slf) "w3'z gonna g3l up y0 AFFFFFFRO" (slf) muwaha. (slf) I HAVE MORE THEORIES THEN I CAN SHAKE A STICK AT! (slf) ihavemoretheoriesthenicanshakeastickat! (slf) ihavemoretheoriesthenicanSHAKE A STICK AT! (slf) ucankeeptryintoobservemebutWHERE YO HEAD BE AT?! (slf) Iiiiiiiii Can l3t-u-kn0 (slf) I HAVE MORE THEORIES THEN I CAN SHAKE A STICK AT (slf) ihavemoretheoriesthenicanshakeastickat! (slf) ihavemoretheoriesthenicanSHAKE A STICK AT! (slf) ucankeeptryintoobservemebutWHERE YO HEAD BE AT?! (slf) Iiiiiiiii Can l3t-u-kn0 (slf) ... (slf) thatitsgonnaallwaysbeatlelastminute THAT YOU KNOW (slf) so grab a damn pencil and WRITE-THAT-FLOW (slf) Iiiiiiiii Can l3t-u-kn0 (slf) I HAVE MORE THEORIES THEN I CAN SHAKE A STICK AT (slf) ihavemoretheoriesthenicanshakeastickat! (slf) ihavemoretheoriesthenicanSHAKE A STICK AT! (slf) ucankeeptryintoobservemebutWHERE YO HEAD BE AT?! (slf) Ok. bless.pl (slf) Check. (slf) U WUZ A RESERVED KEYWORD ANYWAY DAWG! (slf) Iiiiiiiii Can l3t-u-kn0 (slf) I HAVE MORE THEORIES THEN I CAN SHAKE A STICK AT (slf) ihavemoretheoriesthenicanshakeastickat! (slf) ihavemoretheoriesthenicanSHAKE A STICK AT! (slf) ucankeeptryintoobservemebutWHERE YO HEAD BE AT?! (slf) And boom, please send my million dollar check to: blah blah campbell ave, campbell calif0rn14 (slf) My sonnnnnnnnnnnnnnn-will-know! (slf) hesgonnabedrivingaferrariandhaveaparkinglotfullofcivics FOR THE PRICE OF YOUR LUXURY AUUUUU-TO (slf) Iiiiiiiii Can l3t-u-kn0 (slf) I HAVE MORE THEORIES THEN I CAN SHAKE A STICK AT (slf) ihavemoretheoriesthenicanshakeastickat! (slf) ihavemoretheoriesthenicanSHAKE A STICK AT! (slf) ucankeeptryintoobservemebutWHERE YO HEAD BE AT?! (slf) rinse. repeat. (slf) build it. blow it up. ressurect it. torture it. (slf) manipulate it. fuck with it. observe it, unnerve it. (slf) Iiiiiiiii Can l3t-u-kn0 (slf) I HAVE MORE THEORIES THEN I CAN SHAKE A STICK AT (slf) I HAVE MORE THEORIES THEN I CAN SHAKE A STICK AT (slf) ihavemoretheoriesthenicanshakeastickat! (slf) ihavemoretheoriesthenicanSHAKE A STICK AT! (slf) ucankeeptryintoobservemebutWHERE YO HEAD BE AT?! (slf) songwriters for the next 300 years are gonna be licking my nut sack! (slf) Iiiiiiiii Can l3t-u-kn0 (slf) I HAVE MORE THEORIES THEN I CAN SHAKE A STICK AT (slf) ucankeeptryintoobservemebutWHERE YO HEAD BE AT?! (slf) I HAVE MORE THEORIES THEN I CAN SHAKE A STICK AT (slf) ucankeeptryintoobservemebutWHERE YO HEAD BE AT?! (slf) in the right place, I hope. (slf) and we out (slf) I got the SUPREME personality disorder (slf) originatin from the UNIVERSAL personality disorder (slf) the SIMULATED personality disorder (slf) the lawyer in me, the poet, the waiter, the guy servin me my marlboro lights, my beer, my gas, my boss, my ass, yo ass (slf) not too fast (slf) -- (slf) yur 30 wpm wouldn't appreciate my FULL SPECTRUM FULL DUPLEX MULTITHREADED line of convsersation anyway infinite fuckin monkeys punk mother fucker ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group soe things you can see some things you cant - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1277]slf on Mon Feb 14 2005 17:04 ([1278]got somethin to say?) ([1279]Link) A green candle, my son's baby bottle still with his h2o in it, the flower he's holding. Something special and something extra in the candle. And the eye that captured it and the POS treo camera I keep rocking. Some things you see, some things you dont. ..slf helpin verse Posted by [1280]slf on Mon Feb 14 2005 16:59 ([1281]got somethin to say?) ([1282]Link) [msg(verse)] i will check it [msg(verse)] i have two different sets of signatures for it [msg(verse)] and i am running it [msg(verse)] i bet it will [msg(verse)] unless this is so new and so rare that i only can get it from 2 ppl [msg(verse)] this is a VERY AGGRESSIVE client [msg(verse)] with unlimited bandwidth pretty much [msg(verse)] i will eat up 100% of whatever they're giving me with priority routing [msg(verse)] the rose is primitive symbolism too [msg(verse)] just like the holy trinity [msg(verse)] ;) [msg(verse)] the tetragrammaton [msg(verse)] the verse [msg(verse)] the lyric [msg(verse)] the hidden meaning [msg(verse)] and the relationion [msg(verse)] and the emotion [msg(verse)] and the evocation -:- SignOff wundr: #IRCpimps (Remote host closed the connection) [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] lol [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] gf due at my house in 1 hr [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] ! [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] btw [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] u are a good looking d00d [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] can i ask a personal question? [msg(verse)] yea (verse) hmz to give up on irc! (verse) and crash his.. lude or teg? [msg(verse)] we got three songs outta 15 [msg(verse)] its aggressive [msg(verse)] u might be downloading them when she gets here [msg(verse)] i will prepare everything it leeches in a dir for u [msg(verse)] and u kno i got phat bw [msg(verse)] hehe [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] how fat lol [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] like [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] omgwtflol fat [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] or i grew up from a teen now im an adult [msg(verse)] hells yes, it'll stain the bag, the plate, your napkin, your router, my router, your packets, my packets [msg(verse)] everything [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] what else leet have u done in your life [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] should write a book about u imo [msg(trixter)] alot [msg(trixter)] oops [msg(verse)] :) I am [msg(verse)] I have over 6 years of journals [msg(verse)] and i am almost finished [msg(verse)] i documented everything [msg(verse)] thank u btw :) [msg(verse)] im powered by willpower and praise [msg(verse)] and thank us [msg(verse)] and cookies and milk [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] i wanna help in some way [msg(verse)] i love her so much [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] who is Sarita [msg(verse)] i miss her [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] lol [msg(verse)] she is born on the same day of the same year at the same time as me, i'm 200 minutes older than her [msg(verse)] and we have a son Orion who is almost 1 year old [msg(verse)] shes in silver city new mexico [msg(verse)] all i want is the girl back [msg(verse)] i have so much love in my heart for her and him [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] u ever tell her that? [msg(verse)] yes [msg(verse)] she thinks im a wife beater [msg(verse)] because she guilt tripped my homey for washin his dishes and extorted him into not sayin "THANK U!" at the top of his lungs after a hard day at work [msg(verse)] and she smoked weed and drank alcohol pregnant with my kid [msg(verse)] and i almost put her in a grave or a hospital [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] o.O [msg(verse)] and shes based all her animosity towards me on that fact [msg(verse)] that she did something wrong [msg(verse)] and that she cant admit she was wrong [msg(verse)] about everything [msg(verse)] to her family to her mother to everybody [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] lol u know what i should do [msg(verse)] i havent seen my son since thanksgiving [msg(verse)] she was the grinch that stole thanksgiving christmas new years but NOT VALENTINES DAY [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] send her a tela gram. hey Sarita this is james im calling on behalf of slf *cough* *cough* ahem sign and here is your personalized song [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] .......... [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] lol [msg(verse)] i am mr. fountain :) [msg(verse)] we never got married [msg(verse)] but i want to marry her [msg(verse)] and have lots of children [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] u dont wnat lots [msg(verse)] only if my little boy wants lots [msg(verse)] its his choice [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] lots of kiddos = big vagina [msg(verse)] imho [msg(verse)] she had a C section [msg(verse)] ;) [msg(verse)] its worth it yo! [msg(verse)] trust me! [msg(verse)] hehe [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] ;( [msg(verse)] no no! [msg(verse)] shes intact ;) [msg(verse)] hehe [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] H4rDc0r3 4 LiF3 [msg(verse)] she is my wildest oat [msg(verse)] ever [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] just tell her u wanna beat of teh pussy one last time [msg(verse)] i would never give her up in a million years [msg(verse)] and i do this - change spirituality forever [msg(verse)] all because of my love for her and him [msg(verse)] and the love they've shown me and the love i deserve to have every day [msg(verse)] my son doesnt deserve any less [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] that your kiddo on webpage? [msg(verse)] yesh:) [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] cutto [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] cuteo [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] ` [msg(verse)] btw sarita knows allllll about the kaitlin thing [msg(verse)] i stole her from z3r0 [msg(verse)] the guy from #california [msg(verse)] we met one day [msg(verse)] and she was the first girl i laid eyes on [msg(verse)] and she was born at the same moment as me [msg(verse)] and the rest was history [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] lol [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] z3r0 [msg(verse)] yes. [msg(verse)] burgie [msg(verse)] donald dwen gansberger -:- verse is now known as z3r0 [z3r0(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] i suq kawk -:- z3r0 is now known as verse [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] ;) [msg(verse)] ive done alot of things im not exactly proud of [msg(verse)] heh [msg(verse)] and i wouldnt take it back for an instant [msg(verse)] otherwise i wouldnt be here [msg(verse)] and i wouldnt have met her [msg(verse)] and had him [msg(verse)] and have him show me so much wonder [msg(verse)] it is the definition of true love [msg(verse)] and i have to convince her somehow [msg(verse)] through as many people as possible [msg(verse)] if it takes me the rest of my days if nessicary [msg(verse)] she is the one [msg(verse)] 5/14 [msg(verse)] 6/14 [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] ? [msg(verse)] songs [msg(verse)] :) [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] o.O [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] shes so fuckign hot [msg(verse)] http://dreamscape.org/mutella/ [msg(verse)] ;) can u help my cause [msg(verse)] tell her your jeff's brother [msg(verse)] or cousin [msg(verse)] i have alot of heart in my heart [msg(verse)] y0 [msg(verse)] i n33d h3r l0v3 -:- Starting conversation with verse [msg(verse)] "Steven is the most perfect husband any girl could ever have and I am the [msg(verse)] luckiest woman in the world to have him for my own. He has it on all [msg(verse)] fronts. Intellect, Intuition, Emotion, and a body that the most brilliant [msg(verse)] of artists couldn't duplicate and do it justice. [msg(verse)] In fact, words do no justice to the unconditional, all-inclusive, complete [msg(verse)] and total pure love that eternally pours from the depths of my heart, [msg(verse)] vainly attempting to fill his boundless soul." [msg(verse)] (c) Sarita, 6/3/2003 [msg(verse)] I will never give up on you. [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] o.O [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] she copyrited it lol [msg(verse)] i did [msg(verse)] for her ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group i am seriously 100 percent sure god exists Posted by [1283]slf on Mon Feb 14 2005 16:29 ([1284]got somethin to say?) ([1285]Link) hehehehhehe! (slf) i f33l like a m3ss14th (slf) 0r a p40ph3t (slf) 0r a s33r! (slf) QUICK g1mm13 s0m3 m0r3 b333333r (slf) i just mastered that song (slf) before i saw the humming bird (slf) with the flying 1043's (slf) u gotta hear it (slf) [anybody] (slf) after this little rant and that sign (slf) and these epiphanies (slf) l;) (slf) I HAVE REACHED SPIRITUAL CONCLUSION (slf) that GOD DOES EXIST (slf) has a SENSE OF HUMOR (slf) likes JOKES (slf) and LIKES IT WHEN I TALK TO GOD (slf) and IS ALL KNOWING AND ALL POWERFUL (slf) and 1tz 4z 3azy 4s 0n3 tw0 thr33 (slf) 0n3 tw0 thr3333333333333333333333333333333333333! (slf) it brings new meaning to the holy trinity (slf) doesnt it (slf) a riddle!!!! (slf) KNEEL BEFORE GOD (verse) wired question but does anyone have Shikeria Shakira - Laundry Service or can get. its for my girl on vday =( (slf) the recording aint the best (verse) what u mean (slf) http://dreamscape.org/1043.mp3 -- will be there in 3 minutes (verse) the whole cd? (slf) no no no (slf) I can get that for you (slf) uno momento (slf) por favor (verse) just rip it and zip it and send it! (verse) ty man mad (3 (slf) ill get it from mutella (slf) with my mubandwidth (verse) what tis that (slf) u want the whole album? (slf) ) r 47 (slf) Current search results, matching your criteria (slf) QUERY:"shakira laundry service" HITS:1 (slf) 1) `Shakira - Laundry Service - 07 - Fool.mp3' 3.54M known:New (slf) sha1: 2PSVGZYYED2L7GQUUKLYTHZFVHIEBF54 (slf) extra: 128 Kbps 44 kHz 3:52 (slf) extra: GGEP Block: ID='CT' DATA=(COBS encoded (not yet supported)) (slf) 24.126.48.238:6346 speed:ISDN BearShare time:5s (slf) count: 0 (slf) ) get 1 (slf) starting download of Shakira - Laundry Service - 07 - Fool.mp3 (slf) lemme wait a bit and snag them all (slf) ) get 1-14 (slf) starting download of 10 Shakira - Laundry Service - Que Me Quedes Tu.mp3 (slf) starting download of 06 Shakira - Laundry Service - Ready for the Good Times.mp3 (slf) starting download of 09 Shakira - Laundry Service - Poem to A Horse.mp3 (slf) starting download of 11 Shakira - Laundry Service - Eyes Like Yours (Ojos Asi).mp3 (slf) starting download of 07 Shakira - Laundry Service - Fool.mp3 (slf) starting download of 02 Shakira - Laundry Service - Underneath Your Clothes.mp3 (slf) starting download of 01 Shakira - Laundry Service - Objection (Tango).mp3 (slf) starting download of 13 Shakira - Laundry Service - Te Aviso, Te Anuncio (Tango).mp3 (slf) starting download of 05 Shakira - Laundry Service - The One.mp3 (slf) starting download of 04 Shakira - Laundry Service - Rules.mp3 (slf) starting download of 03 Shakira - Laundry Service - Whenever, Wherever.mp3 (slf) starting download of 12 Shakira - Laundry Service - Suerte (Whenever, Wherever).mp3 (slf) starting download of 08 Shakira - Laundry Service - Te Dejo Madrid.mp3 (slf) failed to start download of Shakira - Laundry Service - 07 - Fool.mp3 (slf) ) ok go get http://dreamscape.org/1043.mp3 while u wait, 30 seconds now (slf) *yawn* (slf) ;) (slf) ok its there (slf) hop to it (slf) hehe (verse) whats 1043? (slf) mathematical love (slf) numbers flyin all over the place (slf) 1043 (slf) or 1.43 (slf) :) (verse) 500k (verse) nice (verse) adduser imo (verse) ;) (slf) its uh 6.3 megs (slf) and yes (slf) 500k/s? (slf) hehe (slf) I got mad crazy bandwidth (verse) ya (slf) ;) (verse) ;) (verse) slf (verse) join #dsp (slf) i had a 500 tb san once (verse) ill @u (slf) werd up thanks man! (verse) when jeffs box gets back up (verse) ill adduser u to the bot (slf) hehe sick .----------------------------------------- -- - | slf (acayip@rdns.34.161.62.64.fre.communitycolo.net) (Network) : ircname : acayip | channels : @#dsp @#ircpimps | server : irc.mzima.net (Welcome to the fjear nation.) : actually : slf : idle : 0 hours 0 mins 1 secs (signon: Sat Feb 12 03:28:55 2005) [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] didnt u have somethign to do with napster? [msg(verse)] I was the first sysadmin at napster [msg(verse)] I started the day metallica showed up in a limo [msg(verse)] and my last day was the day searches were turned off [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] o.O [msg(verse)] :) [msg(verse)] I was meant to do this [msg(verse)] I brought the world music like the pir4t3 0f th3 s3v3n s34z [msg(verse)] i made 200 0f th3 f14st mp3Z! [msg(verse)] h3h3h3 [msg(verse)] http://dreamscape.org/steven-fountain.doc [msg(verse)] http://dreamscape.org/steven-fountain.txt [msg(verse)] my resume... ;) [msg(verse)] I've been at the right place, at the right time, too many times. [msg(verse)] Grand opening of Exodus. [msg(verse)] Grand Opening of Napster. [msg(verse)] grand opening of MSN Hotmail (it was Hotmail b4) [msg(verse)] the Death of Excite@Home [msg(verse)] all of it. [msg(verse)] c3llm4n14 [msg(verse)] CELLMANIA! HAHAA [msg(verse)] CELLULAR AUTOMATION|S MORE LIKE IT! [msg(verse)] hehe [msg(verse)] THE TURTLE, THE LEAF, AND THE STEM CELL! [msg(verse)] ;) [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] lol [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] reading your webpage [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] http://enraptured.dreamscape.org/swim/ [msg(verse)] :) [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] u talk so much ha [msg(verse)] y333333333333333s 1 d000000! [msg(verse)] h3h3 [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] ;) (hMz) what (hMz) your hooking up shellz y0 [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] u think u will get that cd by an 45m? (verse) sh3llz0rz (verse) whatever happend to irate and irock [verse(verse@c-67-180-37-194.client.comcast.net)] brb in a few need to get a rose (hMz) they got ibooks (hMz) and gave up on TEH IRC (hMz) H0H0H0 i just caught a hummingbird catching mosquitos striking like a tiger - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1286]slf on Mon Feb 14 2005 15:23 ([1287]got somethin to say?) ([1288]Link) 14:56 (slf) mtu 1111 is th3 m4g1c s3tt1ng 14:56 (slf) h3h3h3 14:56 (slf) FREEMASONS dig the number 111 14:56 (slf) 1111 14:56 (slf) the GRAND MASONIC LODGE OF CALIFORNIA IS 1111 MASON ST 14:56 (slf) H4h4h4hh4h4h44h4hh4h4h4h4 14:57 (slf) AND YOUR TEMPLE IS AN ANTENNA! 14:57 (slf) d0m3! 15:07 (slf) 1m g0nna g0 pl4y s0m3 r3c0rds 15:08 (slf) [ 1 h0p3 th3 n31ghb0rz l3tcha!!!! ] 15:17 (slf) numbers flyin all over the place n shit!@#!@# 15:17 (slf) I KNOW WHY I LIKE THIS SONG!!! 15:17 (slf) 1043!@#!@# 15:17 (slf) 10$#!!@#!@# 15:17 (slf) 1043!@#!@# 15:17 (slf) LOVE! 15:17 (slf) numbers flyin ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL up in this muthafucka! 15:23 (slf) holy shit 15:23 (slf) i just caught a hummingbird catching mosquitos striking like a tiger 15:23 (slf) and photographed it 15:24 (slf) WOW!!!! 15:25 (slf) g0d l0v3s m3 v3ry much 15:25 (slf) 1043 y0u t0000000000000000000000000! 15:27 (slf) http://enraptured.dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108423431 This humming bird is eating these mosquitos!!! Striking like a tiger!! And I captured it! ..slf w3z r0ll1n w1th lyr1cs h1ghsp333333333333333333333333333333d! Posted by [1289]slf on Mon Feb 14 2005 14:54 ([1290]got somethin to say?) ([1291]Link) (slf) w3z r0ll1n w1th lyr1cs h1ghsp33333333333333333333333333333d! (slf) h3333333333333333333333h3333333333333333333333333333333! ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group R1NG R1NG Posted by [1292]slf on Mon Feb 14 2005 14:46 ([1293]got somethin to say?) ([1294]Link) l0v3 h4s s3t m3 fr3333333333333333333333! h3h3h3 14:39 (slf) k1d r0ck 14:39 (slf) h0use 0f r0ck 14:40 (slf) th3 jungl3 b00k 14:40 (slf) 3333333333333333333 3-3-33333333333333 3333333333333333333333 3-3-3333333333333333333 14:40 (slf) 333333333333-oh-oh-oh-00000000000000 14:40 (slf) 3333333333333333333 3-3-33333333333333 3333333333333333333333 3-3-3-3-3-3333333333333333333 14:41 (slf) ah wh333333333333333333m44444444444444444w444444444444444444ck44444444444444w333333333333333333m4444444444444w4444444444444444444444ck44 44444444444444444444 14:41 (slf) Muchos Gusto! 14:41 (slf) Muchos Gracias Seniorita! m0i S4r1t4! 14:41 (slf) T4b43n!@#!@# tab43n!@#!@# 14:41 (slf) oi p4p1!#!@#@ 14:42 (slf) h4h4h4 14:42 (slf) l0v3 h4s s3t m3 fr33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 33 14:42 (slf) NO CARRIER 14:42 (slf) haha.... 14:42 (slf) RING RING 14:42 (slf) ATA 14:42 (failure) ATA 14:42 (slf) CONNECT 2400 14:42 (failure) ATZZZ THX GOODBYE 14:42 (failure) USER TTY FROM LOGIN@ IDLE WHAT 14:42 (failure) DIDJOO SEE DAT HOMIEZ BUST A GAT ON DA SKEWLIO 14:42 (slf) +++ muthafucka! 14:43 (slf) ;) 14:43 (slf) h3h3 ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group th3 m0th3rl04d Posted by [1295]slf on Mon Feb 14 2005 14:39 ([1296]got somethin to say?) ([1297]Link) 13:56 (MiKe-Dz) http://www.gizoogle.com^O 13:57 (slf) th3y sp1nn1n th3y sp1nn1n!!^O 13:57 (slf) h3h3!^O 13:58 (slf) this is the motherload^O 13:59 (slf) gh3tt0 1z th3 d1v1n3 l4ngu4g3^O 13:59 (slf) And I convert this whole damn town into babylon^O 14:24 -:- hackish [d00f@modemcable169.13-130-66.mc.videotron.ca] has joined #ircpimps^O 14:24 -:- mode/#ircpimps [+o hackish] by k-r-z^O 14:26 (slf) 1 f33l l1k3 xxxxxxxxxxxx4v13r fr0m th3 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXm3n^O 14:31 (slf) h4h4h4 i ac4ually h4d a dr3am wh3r3 1 m4st3rb4t3d 1n my dr3am^O 14:31 (slf) h4h4h4^O 14:31 (slf) c4uz3 1m c3l1b4ty^O 14:31 (slf) c3l1b1t3^O 14:31 (slf) 3r0t1c h1st3r14!^O 14:32 (verse) o.O^O 14:32 (slf) 1m c3l1b1t3 3v3n fr0m mys3lf^O 14:32 (verse) slf u just typed a complete comversation to your self for an hr!^O 14:32 (slf) 1 g3t s0m3 1n my dr33333333333333333333333333333ams^O 14:32 (slf) verse: i can do this all day^O 14:32 (slf) ;)^O 14:32 (verse) lol^O 14:32 (verse) adduser verse imo^O 14:32 * verse/#ircpimps flex's^O 14:33 (slf) yesh!:)^O 14:33 (slf) h3lls y3s^O 14:33 (verse) what music u like slf?^O 14:33 (slf) l3mm3 b4ck up th1s m3ss^O 14:33 (verse) aight^O 14:34 (slf) music melodic breakdowns and buildups^O 14:34 (verse) what is that lol^O 14:34 (slf) and happy breakdowns and happy builtups^O 14:34 (slf) and dark breakdowns and dark buildups^O 14:34 (slf) and battle breakdowns and battle buildups^O 14:34 (slf) and battle dancing^O 14:34 (slf) dark dancing^O 14:34 (verse) ...^O 14:34 (slf) happy dancing^O 14:34 (slf) FAST DANCING^O 14:34 (slf) girls wh0 r pour1ng th3r3 h3art 0ut^O 14:34 (slf) guys wh0 r pour1ng th3r3 h34rt 0ut^O 14:35 (slf) 0r try1ng t0 t34ch s0m3th1ng^O 14:35 (slf) music w1th phi1l0s0phy^O 14:35 (slf) 4nd th30l0gy^O 14:35 (slf) 4nd visc0sity!^O 14:35 (slf) h3h3h^O 14:35 (slf) 3v3ryth1ng^O 14:35 (slf) 3v3n c0untry!^O 14:35 (slf) 4nd g0sp3l!^O 14:35 (slf) h4h4h4hh4h^O 14:36 (slf) 1 l1k3 rap, nintendo breakbeat, i like things that dont have names for them yet^O 14:36 (slf) jungle^O 14:36 (slf) drum and bass^O 14:36 (slf) dark melodic trance^O 14:36 (slf) epic trance^O 14:36 (slf) happy jungle^O 14:36 (slf) happy hardcore^O 14:36 (verse) listen to punk imo^O 14:36 (slf) hard nrg^O 14:36 (slf) hard house^O 14:36 (slf) hard jungle^O 14:36 (slf) punk r0ck^O 14:36 (slf) 0ldskewl r0ck^O 14:36 (slf) n3wsk3wl r0ck^O 14:36 (slf) p30pl3 sh00t1ng gl0cks^O 14:37 (slf) I was a scene hopper from day one.^O h0ly f1ng sh1T!?!!@! c0nt1nu3d Posted by [1298]slf on Mon Feb 14 2005 13:54 ([1299]got somethin to say?) ([1300]Link) h0ly f1ng sh1T!?@!!! c0nt1nu3d.. (slf) and a sk1ll3d instrum3nt (slf) and it explains sarita's actions (slf) and why this had to happen (slf) and whats destined to happen next (slf) i just made myself a priest (slf) [also priest from defcon is explained by this being so FFFFFFFFFFFFFFOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLL] (slf) gr000000000wl l1k3 4 b333333333333333333334444444444444r (slf) GGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR (slf) w4v3 th3m l1k3 y0u just d0nt c4r3 (slf) pl4y w1th y0ur h14r (slf) l00k13 d3r3 (slf) 1t 1z th3 fl0w th4t n3v3r 3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333nds (slf) 1t just g03s 0n 4nd 0n my fr11111111111113333333333nd (slf) s0m3 d4y s0m3 p30pl3 just st4rt3d s111111111ngggggggggggggggg1111111111nnnnnng 1t (slf) n0t kn0w1ng whut 1t wuz (slf) 4nd th3n th3y'll just k33p s1ng1ng 1t f0r3v3r just bcUZ (slf) 1t 1z th3 s0ng th4t n3v3r 3ndz (slf) 1t just g03s 0n 4nd 0n my fr13nd (slf) LOOK AT THE JEWISH PEOPLE (slf) AND THEIR HEBREW (slf) THEY GOT NUMBERS FOR EVERY DAMN WORD (slf) WE HAVE TO HAVE SEMANTICAL MEANING (slf) OR EMPHASIS (slf) OR RELATIONION (slf) OR SPECULATIO N (slf) OR AGGREGATION (MINORITY/MAJORITY) (slf) POLARITY! (slf) th3r3 1z 4 f0rmul4 t0 b4l4nc1ng th3 p4tt3rnz (slf) 1 juzT d0nt kn0w 1t y3t (slf) 1m try1ng 1t sur3 4s h3ll 3xpl4ns the l4444444444444444444444444444444g Posted by [1301]slf on Mon Feb 14 2005 13:43 ([1302]got somethin to say?) ([1303]Link) (slf) h4h4h4h4h4hh4 (slf) p4ck3t fl00d1ng ur 3m0t10nz (slf) n y0ur h344t (slf) n y0ur h34rt (slf) n y0ur s00000000000000000000ul (slf) m1g4c c0nc3ntr4t33n-0! (slf) h0ly sh1t!@# (slf) 1 f33l l1k3 c0unt ch0cul4 (slf) h4h4h4 (slf) 0n3!!!!!!!!!! (slf) uHHHH tw00000000000! (slf) uHHHHHH thrEEEEEEEEEE (slf) c0mma. (slf) c0mma c0mma sl4sh d0t (slf) fuck 1t i g0t th3 4nsw3rz t0 3v3ryth1ng n0w (slf) jesus (slf) THANK YOU JESUS (slf) AND GOD (slf) HAHA (slf) I HEAR YOUR SIGNALS LOUD AND CLEAR (slf) AND EVERYBODY ELSES (slf) HAHA (slf) HOPE THE WEATHERS NICE WHERE U R (slf) HEHE (slf) WHOEVER U MIGHT B3 (slf) U! (slf) R! (slf) Q! (slf) HAHAHAH!@#!@#!@ (slf) U N ME?! (slf) C?!?! (slf) HAHAHA! (slf) ALL SIGNALS! (slf) u here if first! (slf) doot-doot-doot-duh-doot-doot-doot (slf) y3h (slf) h3h h3h (slf) c000000l (slf) b3333333333444444444444VVVVVVVVVVVVVVV111111111111111s (slf) l00000000000000000000000000000000000000VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV33333333333333333333333333! (slf) VOWELS ARENT THE ONLY SOUNDS THAT HAVE SIGNALS! (slf) A# AND B# AND C# PLAYED AT THE *SAME TIME* MAKE AN ENTIRELY UNIQUE SUBHARMONIC RESONATION! (slf) it sur3 4s h3ll 3xpl4ns the l4444444444444444444444444444444g (slf) s0 u dw3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333ll (slf) 0nth3 n000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000t3 (slf) w33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333c l1k3 u t0 fr3sh3n up (slf) play y0 soul like a hustler (slf) and a sk1ll3d instrum3nt ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group On Mon, 14 Feb 2005, slf wrote: s)Date: Mon, 14 Feb 2005 13:32:05 -0800 (PST) s)From: slf (slf@dreamscape.org) s)To: acayip@dreamscape.org s) s) s)(slf) 1m g0nna m4k3 th1s wh0l3 d4mn r4c3 4nc13nts 1n s)n0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 t1m3! s)(slf) u f3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333l s)m3333333333333333333333333333?!?! s)(slf) AHAHA s)(slf) 3mphas1s!!@ s)(slf) l1k3 w3 wuz th3 1ll1munat1 s)(slf) sn4ck1n 0n b1sc0tt1 s)(slf) ch0mp ch0mp s)(slf) qu1t t4lkin l1k3 4 13 yr 0ld s)(slf) a s)111111111111111111111111111111111111133333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 s)yr 0ld! s) s) s)Make sure you know all the strings on the harpsichord! s) s) s)..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley s) http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group s) s)On Mon, 14 Feb 2005, slf wrote: s) s) s)Date: Mon, 14 Feb 2005 13:26:07 -0800 (PST) s) s)From: slf (slf@dreamscape.org) s) s)To: acayip@dreamscape.org s) s)Subject: journal: holy shit s) s) s) s) s) s)h0ly sh1t!!!!! s) s)h0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000ly s) s)sh111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111t! s) s) s) s)(slf) holy shit s) s)(slf) i just explanied the little girl s) s)(slf) from the matrix3 s) s)(slf) 4nd my s0n s) s)(slf) s4y1ng h1111111111111111111111111111111111! f4rst th1ng th1s m0rn1ng s) s)(slf) but 0nly p4 p4 s) s)(slf) 0r p4p4 s) s)(slf) n0t p4444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444p4444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444! s) s)(slf) i l0000000000000000000000000000000vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 y00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000u p44444444444444444444444444444444444444444p44444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! s) s) s) s) s) s)..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley s) s) http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group s) s) s) qu1t t4lkin l1k3 4 13 yr 0ld Posted by [1304]slf on Mon Feb 14 2005 13:32 ([1305]got somethin to say?) ([1306]Link) (slf) 1m g0nna m4k3 th1s wh0l3 d4mn r4c3 4nc13nts 1n n0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 t1m3! (slf) u f3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333l m3333333333333333333333333333?!?! (slf) AHAHA (slf) 3mphas1s!!@ (slf) l1k3 w3 wuz th3 1ll1munat1 (slf) sn4ck1n 0n b1sc0tt1 (slf) ch0mp ch0mp (slf) qu1t t4lkin l1k3 4 13 yr 0ld (slf) a 111111111111111111111111111111111111133333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 yr 0ld! Make sure you know all the strings on the harpsichord! ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group On Mon, 14 Feb 2005, slf wrote: s)Date: Mon, 14 Feb 2005 13:26:07 -0800 (PST) s)From: slf (slf@dreamscape.org) s)To: acayip@dreamscape.org s)Subject: journal: holy shit s) s) s)h0ly sh1t!!!!! s)h0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000ly s)sh111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111t! s) s)(slf) holy shit s)(slf) i just explanied the little girl s)(slf) from the matrix3 s)(slf) 4nd my s0n s)(slf) s4y1ng h1111111111111111111111111111111111! f4rst th1ng th1s m0rn1ng s)(slf) but 0nly p4 p4 s)(slf) 0r p4p4 s)(slf) n0t p4444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444p4444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444! s)(slf) i l0000000000000000000000000000000vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 y00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000u p44444444444444444444444444444444444444444p44444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! s) s) s)..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley s) http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group s) h00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000ly sh111111111111111111111111111111111t! Posted by [1307]slf on Mon Feb 14 2005 13:26 ([1308]got somethin to say?) ([1309]Link) h0ly sh1t!!!!! h0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000ly sh111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111t! (slf) holy shit (slf) i just explanied the little girl (slf) from the matrix3 (slf) 4nd my s0n (slf) s4y1ng h1111111111111111111111111111111111! f4rst th1ng th1s m0rn1ng (slf) but 0nly p4 p4 (slf) 0r p4p4 (slf) n0t p4444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444p4444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444! (slf) i l0000000000000000000000000000000vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 y00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000u p44444444444444444444444444444444444444444p44444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group 1 + 0 ? = Literally and in m0r3 w4yz th3n 0N3! r3m3mb3r th3 m0v13 c0nt4ct?!?! Posted by [1310]slf on Mon Feb 14 2005 13:23 ([1311]got somethin to say?) ([1312]Link) d4mn str41ght!!!!! h11111111111111111111111111111111111!!!!!!! h1111111111111111111111gh p4 p4! p4p4!!! u n33d t0 s33 m3 s0 u c4n s4y 1t l1k3 p4444444444444444444444444444444444p4444444444444444444444444444444444!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 l00000000000000000000000000vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 y0u p4p4!!!!! -:- Topic (#ircpimps): changed by verse: http://enraptured.dreamscape.org/swim/index dreamscape! kaitlin did it (hMz) and hmz! (verse) lol (factor) oh screwing factor over now? ;) (hMz) hah (hMz) verse: when you gonna h00k a n1gguh up w1t d4 juar3z (slf) juar333333333333333z? ;) (slf) w444444444444444r3333333333z th333333333333333333333 b3333333333f (slf) k33p t4lk1n lik33333 a shi333333333333k (slf) y000000000ul n3v3r b3 a fr333333333333ak (slf) n0w y0uur3333333333333 t1111111lk444444444n l1k3 4 g3333333333333333k! (slf) +++++++++++++! (hMz) SHAK0CK (slf) 1 just s3nt 41-4444-41-4444-823-57 to sarita (slf) h1 p4p4!!! h1 p4p4! th1nk1ng 0f u (slf) :) (slf) even pag3r c0de ti3z b4ck 1n t0 th3 th30ry (slf) h1111111111111111111 p4p4!!!! (slf) m4d3 my d4mn d4y (slf) 1 (8 h1mz0r! -- i l0v3 h1m (slf) 1 (8 h3rz0r! -- i l0v3 h3r (slf) hehe (slf) 1 + 0 ? = Literally and in m0r3 w4yz th3n 0N3! (slf) n nv1d4a g3f0rc3 4 c0up0ns 1n 3v3ry b0x! (slf) c0mppl3t3 w1th 1nt3l 33pr0100 n3tw0rk1ng 1n 3v3ry br34kf4st p4ck3t! (slf) [everybody thinks im a crack addict] (slf) [im actually just like this normally, but the spotlight is scary and in the shadows nobody is a punk like dat] (slf) 1m 4 w33d n3gr0! (slf) l1k3 my m4n JC (slf) buddddddddy chr1st! (slf) l1k3 u n m3 (slf) c4n u s33 (slf) h0w 34zy d1s b333? (slf) l1t3r4llY N 1n m0r3 d3l1c0us br34kf4st p4ck3tZ th4n 0n3! (slf) this is witchcraft (slf) sorcery (slf) telepathic image sensory (slf) telepathic image projection - directed beyond space and time (slf) tleepathic image broadcast - directed at your surrounding immediate area (slf) telepathic image signatures (slf) WORDS vs. WORDS and WORDS vs ACTIONS (slf) m3m0ry f0r y0 3m0t1ii-n (slf) em0ti0n (slf) 1m 4 cl4r4s3nt13nt g0n3 cr4zY! (slf) l1f3 pl4y3d m3! (slf) dr4w1ng 3m0t10n fr0m 0th3r p30pl3 (slf) h0w d0 u f33l (slf) d0 u f33l m3 (slf) dr3am1ng 0f u dr3am1ng 0f m3 (slf) b31ng aw4r3 0f u b31ng aw4r3 0f m3 (slf) 1 g3t n4tur4l l4g 4t th3 w13rd3st pl4c3s th4ts why 1 h4bb0rZ 4 1r3 -- er. (slf) LIT3R4LLTY N 1n m0r3 w4yz th3n 0n3!^O (slf) claric0gn1z4nt claris3nt13nt (slf) 4nd n0w cl14raud13nt (slf) 4nd n0w cl4rav0y4nt (slf) tw0 b1rdz w1th 0n3 st0n3! (slf) l1t3r4lly 4nd 1n m0r3 w4yZ th3n 0n3! (slf) j3sus l0ves y0u (slf) ASS ASS TITTIES TITTIES ASXS AND TITTIES! (slf) haha! (slf) wh0 w0uld4 th0ught 0f 1t?!?!! (slf) sp1r1tu4l l04d b4l4nc1ng!!!@#!@# f0r dumm13Z (slf) th1s 1s th3 t3tr4gr4mm4t0n 4t w0rk (slf) 1f u f33l m3 (slf) th1s l1t3r4lly n3ur0l0g1c4lly putZ y0ur s0ul 1nt0 th3 tr4ck (slf) c4n u f33l th3 v1b3Z 1m s3nd1ng U (slf) w1th lyr1cZ h1gh sp33d!!@#!@# (slf) f0 sh0!!@#!@#!@# h3h3h3h3h3h (slf) a0l n1n3t33nn1n3tyn1n3-po1nt-0h!@#!@#!@#!@# (slf) wh4t 3v3r m0r3 d0 u n33d (slf) h3 h3 h3 h3 (slf) 0h by th3 w4y ifconfig eth0 mtu 333 m4k3s y0ur c0nn3ct10n m0r3 r3l14bl3 (slf) 1 h0p3 p30pl3 l00k 4t th1s 4nd th1nk 1 4m 4 dumb4ss (slf) w0w (slf) u f33l m3 (slf) hUh? (slf) wHa? (slf) h3h (slf) m3h (slf) f3h (slf) bL3 (slf) y3h!!!!! (slf) r3m3mb3r th3 m0v13 c0nt4ct?!?!?! (slf) w00000000000000000000000000000w! ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group and thats a wrap, wrank u for wristening. Posted by [1313]slf on Mon Feb 14 2005 04:18 ([1314]got somethin to say?) ([1315]Link) (slf) http://dreamscape.org/l33t-cereal.jpg (slf) h3h3 (slf) n0w w1th 0n3z and z3r03Z! (hMz) wow (hMz) elite wrapper (slf) h3h3. (slf) didnt take me very long did it (slf) ;) (slf) and yesh (slf) NOW WITH NVIDIA G3f0rc3 4 COUPONS IN 3VERY B0X! (slf) WITH FR33333333333 SHIPPING! (slf) H3h3h3hh3. (hMz) wtf is krzee (slf) hes not on aim? (slf) it is kindof late (slf) if u kno what i.... (slf) M33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333an! (slf) *ah*! (slf) h3h3... (slf) too bad i cant go buy b33r (slf) s0 1 c0uld h4v3 s0m3th1ng t0 ch333333333r about (slf) raw raw shish k00m bah odel33333333333333333333333333333333333333y odl3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333y ra ra ra! (slf) haha (slf) its 3am! (slf) th3y g0t 1t l0ck3d up 1n 4 c4g3 (slf) alc0h0l th4t w4ntz t0 g3t 0ut (slf) 1nt0 y0 m0uF (slf) ive been doing this for two or three hours solid (slf) haha (slf) ;) (slf) jesus. (slf) ;) -:- Topic (#ircpimps): And so it begins - http://enraptured.dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108363121 - Beginnings of Perl for Rappers -:- Topic (#ircpimps): set by slf!acayip@rdns.34.161.62.64.fre.communitycolo.net at Sun Feb 13 22:52:33 2005 (trixter) is it just me or is pink floyd good coding music? (slf) i thnk its just u (slf) h3h3;) (slf) depends on what y0ur c0d1ng (slf) n0w w1th 1's and zer0's (slf) hehe I really need to get to bed. Happy valentines day, I'm gonna be asleep instead. ;) and thats a wrap, wrank u for wristening. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group and th3n?! and th33333333333n?! Posted by [1316]slf on Mon Feb 14 2005 03:33 ([1317]got somethin to say?) ([1318]Link) Damn i gotta g0 t0 b33333333333d, 1m t1r3333333333333d, y0! [and th3n?! and th3333333n?!] ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group l3tz party l1k3 1tz n1n3t333333333n n1n3ty tw0 p01nt 0h! Posted by [1319]slf on Mon Feb 14 2005 03:30 ([1320]got somethin to say?) ([1321]Link) (slf) im g0nna p1mp u l1k3333333 pr1nc3333333333 (slf) 0nly my n4m3 1z st3v3n wh1ch m3anZ cr0wn3d (slf) k1ng muther-FUCK3333333333333333333333333333333333r (slf) hi3333333333333333333333 yah! (slf) h4h4h (slf) l33333333tz p4rty l1k3333333 1tz n1nt333333333n n1n3ty n1n33 tw0 p01nt 0h! (slf) f0 sh0! (slf) h4wh4wh4w (slf) d4mn s0 m4ny thr33333333333333s 1m h4v1ng wh1pl4sh ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group itz th3 fl0w th4t n3v3r 33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333nds Posted by [1322]slf on Mon Feb 14 2005 03:22 ([1323]got somethin to say?) ([1324]Link) (slf) 4nd th3n th3y'll j4ck y0ur bw pr1c3z up JUST b3333333333333333333CAUZE (slf) 1tZ th3 fl0w th4t n3v3r 3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333nds (slf) 1t just g03z 0n 4nd 0n my fr1333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333ndZZZZZZZZZZ m4st33333333333333ry 0f th3 p3rl n1nj333333333ry! Posted by [1325]slf on Mon Feb 14 2005 03:19 ([1326]got somethin to say?) ([1327]Link) (slf) m1lk d03z a b0dy g000d 1f u dr1nk th3 b0ttl3 cl3333333333333333an (slf) ima-luv-the pr0t3333333333333333331n (slf) h3h3h333333333333! (slf) ;) (slf) [kindof like a running joke..] (slf) Literally (slf) and in more ways than on3333333333333333! (slf) h4h4h4h4h (slf) j3333333333333z3 (slf) 1tZ th3 fl0w th4t n3v3r 3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333nds (slf) 1t just g03z 0n 4nd 0n my fr1333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333nd (slf) s0m3 d4y s0m3 p3opl3 just str4t3d fl0w1n n0t kn0w1n whut 1t wuz (slf) 4nd th3n th3y'll j4ck y0ur bw pr1c3z up bCUZ (slf) --- (slf) 1tZ th3 fl0w th4t n3v3r 3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333nds (slf) 1t just g03z 0n 4nd 0n my fr1333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333nd (slf) +s (slf) s0m3 d4y s0m3 p3opl3 just str4t3d fl0w1n n0t kn0w1n whut 1t wuz (slf) 4nd th3n th3y'll j4ck y0ur bw pr1c3z up bCUZ (slf) --- (slf) HAHA (slf) m4st33333333333333ry 0f th3 p3rl n1nj333333333ry! ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group str1ng th30ry 1z b0mb d1ddl33333333333y! Posted by [1328]slf on Mon Feb 14 2005 02:54 ([1329]got somethin to say?) ([1330]Link) (slf) 4nd n0w 1m d0n3333 (slf) s0 g0 fl0 t0 y0 0wn d4mn sc33333333333333333n3 (slf) 33333333333333333333333! (slf) ;) (slf) hehe (slf) cUZ th3y kn0 whut u m3333333333333an (slf) 1nb3tw333333333333333n (slf) MUWAHAHAHAHAHH 1f U kn0 WHUT 1 M333333333333333333333333333333333an (slf) which 0ught t0 b3 s3lf 3vid3nt by n0w 0r th3 numb3r tw3lv3 0r tw3nty f0ur 0r tw3nty s3v3n 0r.. (slf) k33p g01ng 1f u kn0 whut 1 m33333333333333333aN! (slf) str1ng th30ry 1z b0mb d1ddl3333333333333Y! (slf) m4th 4nt g0t sh1t 0n th3 ph0n1X 1 g0t h00k333333333333333333333d 0n 0nc3333333333333 0r twic333333333 0r thr3333333333333333333 t1m3333333333333333333333sS! (or fiv3?) (slf) i f33l l1k3 w4tch1ng th3 m3an g1rlZ d333v333d333 (slf) s0 1 c4n gr0w up b1g n str0ng l1k3 my 4r4b fr13nd mr mathl33t muhajad333333333333n! (slf) haahaha They're just lyrics Posted by [1331]slf on Mon Feb 14 2005 02:46 ([1332]got somethin to say?) ([1333]Link) (slf) AHAHAH (slf) 1 juzT w1p3d th1z r3s1n cl333333333333333333333333an! (slf) 4nd sm0k3d 1t t0 my d0m3 1n l3ss t1m3 th4n 1t t00k u t0 guess the th33333333333333333333m3! (slf) 4nd n0w 1m insan3333333333333333333333 (slf) 1n th3 membran3333333333333333 (slf) r0ll 1t b4ck t0 th3 m4ddl3 w0rd 1f u kn0 wh4t 1 m33333333333333333333an! (slf) a1nt th4t sh1t l00k1n cl3333333333333333an?! (slf) 1ma g0 try 1t 0ut 4 r34l but 1 c4nt 3mphasiZ3 WHUT I M3333333333333333333an! u c4n b3l13v3 whut3v3r u w4nt if u kn0w wh4t 1 m3333333333333333an! Posted by [1334]slf on Mon Feb 14 2005 02:43 ([1335]got somethin to say?) ([1336]Link) (slf) c4n u f33l th3 w333333333333333333333333333333D! (slf) thru th3z3 w0rdlY s333333333333333333333ds (slf) 1 c4nt st0p typ1ng w1th thr33333333333333333333333333333Z (slf) kn0w wh4t 1 m33333333333333333333333an?! (slf) 1m f1ll1n up y0 scr3333333333333333333n! (slf) u c4n b3l1v3 whut3v3r u w4nt if u kn0w wh4t 1 m33333333333333333333an! (slf) i c4nt g3t h1gh b3cauz3 1 d0nt h4v3 any gr33333333333333n?! (slf) AHAHAH ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group c4n U r3333333333333333333333333333333aD! Posted by [1337]slf on Mon Feb 14 2005 02:38 ([1338]got somethin to say?) ([1339]Link) (trixter) slf: can you do me a favour? goto http://www.mcdanel.com, lemme know if you get a cheezy webpage (slf) 1d t0 sp4r (slf) oops (slf) Server Error: 401 Unauthorized (slf) 4cc3ss d3n13d (slf) *FLIPS U tH3 b1rD s3rv3r StyL3* -:- BitchX: Unknown command: DOC/INDEX (slf) /doc/INDEX DOT H T M L (slf) r00f r00f@! (slf) h3h3. (trixter) ! (trixter) do you have a shell I can borrow for a few minutes? [msg(trixter)] yes (trixter) oh wait did it pop up a password request? (slf) uh (slf) no (slf) chmod 644 .htacces/.htpasswd (slf) chmod 755 . (slf) make sure the .htaccess is legit (slf) s0 u kn0 it'll b3 d4 Sh1T! (slf) th4t u 3xp3ct3d (slf) 1nst34d 0f th1s 4cc3ss d3n13d Cr4p u 1nf3ct3d (slf) ch3ck 1t (slf) h4w h4w (slf) sn00p3rst1t10n (trixter) can you try again? think I fixed it (slf) Y000000N1X v1Z10N!?! (slf) H4h4h (slf) y3z (slf) ok its a go (trixter) cheezy page? (slf) Sur3 1 C 4 Ch3#ZY p4g3 (trixter) my mom actually thinks that looks good (slf) UNd3r c0nstruct10n just l1k3 1t wuz b4ck 1n th3 0ld d4yZ (slf) s1mpl3 but 3ff3ct1v3 (slf) styL3 0v3r 3v3g4nc3 (trixter) I cant talk to you in tr0n mode (slf) 1gn0r4nc3 0v3r bl1ss (slf) 3l3g4nc3 (slf) 1 t00k 4 sh0t n d1dnt m1ZZ (slf) K *Dwarf* (slf) U K4ll 4 dw4rF (slf) n0w 1 th1nk 1m g0nn4 f4rt 4nd b4rF (slf) b4ttl1ng u w1th mY aX3 N MY sh3LF (slf) 0f b00kZ th4t U r33d wh3n ur sm0k1n th3 w33d (slf) 0ut y0 p1p3 0f th4t p1p3w33d (slf) th4t u n33d (slf) th4t u n33333333333333333333333333d (slf) *ah!* (slf) ;) (slf) m3 n 4rd4 g0 w4Y b4CK (slf) c4N U r333333333333333333333333333333333333333aD (slf) *ah!* (slf) c4n U r3333333333333333333333333333333aD! (slf) *ah*! (slf) ;) ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group 0r 1z it?!! hUUUUUUUUh?! HUH?!!? Posted by [1340]slf on Mon Feb 14 2005 02:23 ([1341]got somethin to say?) ([1342]Link) (slf) u f33l m3 u pr0?! (slf) wh4T th3 h3ll d0 u Kn0! (slf) 1m4 sw4t u l1k3 th3 fly u R (slf) th3y d0nt kn0 u st0l3 th3 s3cr3t t0 b31ng 4 st4r (slf) 1 d0nt th1nk itll g3t u v3ry f4r (slf) why u afr41d t0 sp4r (slf) 1tz n0t l1k3 1m b3h1nd th3 wh33lz 0f 4 c4r (slf) 0r 1z 1t ?! ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group On Mon, 14 Feb 2005, slf wrote: s) s)(slf) 3m1n3m.pl 1n mY br14n 2.0 s)(slf) n0w l3t m3 sh0 u th3 d0 s)(slf) 000r....u t3ll m3 wh3r3 t0 g0 s)(slf) s0 1 c4n g3t 4 sh0w s)(slf) n h4v3 s0m3 p30pl3 t0 kn0 s) s)On Mon, 14 Feb 2005, slf wrote: s) s) s) s)(slf) n th4tZ f0 sh0 s) s)(slf) n0w 1M D0WNL04D1NG l1K3 4 PR0! s) s)(slf) c0mpr3ss10n f0r dumm13Z s) s)(slf) HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?! s) s) s) s)On Mon, 14 Feb 2005, slf wrote: s) s) s) s) s) s)(slf) HEHE.. s) s) s)(slf) 1 g0t a0l n1n3ty-n1n3-th0us4nd-n1n3-n1n3ty-n1n3-hundr3d-n1n3ty-n1n3-p01nt-0H! s) s) s)(slf) HAHA s) s) s) s) s) s) 3m1n3m.pl 1n my br14n 2.0 -- hey it worked for eminem! Posted by [1343]slf on Mon Feb 14 2005 02:20 ([1344]got somethin to say?) ([1345]Link) (slf) 3m1n3m.pl 1n mY br14n 2.0 (slf) n0w l3t m3 sh0 u th3 d0 (slf) 000r....u t3ll m3 wh3r3 t0 g0 (slf) s0 1 c4n g3t 4 sh0w (slf) n h4v3 s0m3 p30pl3 t0 kn0 ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group On Mon, 14 Feb 2005, slf wrote: s) s)(slf) n th4tZ f0 sh0 s)(slf) n0w 1M D0WNL04D1NG l1K3 4 PR0! s)(slf) c0mpr3ss10n f0r dumm13Z s)(slf) HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?! s) s)On Mon, 14 Feb 2005, slf wrote: s) s) s) s)(slf) HEHE.. s) s)(slf) 1 g0t a0l n1n3ty-n1n3-th0us4nd-n1n3-n1n3ty-n1n3-hundr3d-n1n3ty-n1n3-p01nt-0H! s) s)(slf) HAHA s) s) s) HOW AM i SUPPOSED TO KNOW?! Posted by [1346]slf on Mon Feb 14 2005 02:17 ([1347]got somethin to say?) ([1348]Link) (slf) n th4tZ f0 sh0 (slf) n0w 1M D0WNL04D1NG l1K3 4 PR0! (slf) c0mpr3ss10n f0r dumm13Z (slf) HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?! ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group On Mon, 14 Feb 2005, slf wrote: s)Date: Mon, 14 Feb 2005 02:11:36 -0800 (PST) s)(slf) HEHE.. s)(slf) 1 g0t a0l n1n3ty-n1n3-th0us4nd-n1n3-n1n3ty-n1n3-hundr3d-n1n3ty-n1n3-p01nt-0H! s)(slf) HAHA s) 1 g0t a0l n1n3ty-n1n3-th0us4nd-n1n3-n1n3ty-n1n3-hundr3d-n1n3ty-n1n3-p01nt-0H! Posted by [1349]slf on Mon Feb 14 2005 02:11 ([1350]got somethin to say?) ([1351]Link) (slf) HEHE.. (slf) 1 g0t a0l n1n3ty-n1n3-th0us4nd-n1n3-n1n3ty-n1n3-hundr3d-n1n3ty-n1n3-p01nt-0H! (slf) HAHA u g0t s3rv3d h3h3h3 Posted by [1352]slf on Mon Feb 14 2005 02:09 ([1353]got somethin to say?) ([1354]Link) (slf) u g0t s3rv3d h3h3h3 (slf) SERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRVED (slf) HEHE.. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group f0r p1ck1n th3 l0ck Posted by [1355]slf on Mon Feb 14 2005 02:08 ([1356]got somethin to say?) ([1357]Link) (slf) th3 l00k 0n y0 f4c3 b3tt3r b3 sh0ck3d (slf) cUZ U g0t gl0ck3d (slf) f0r p1ck1n th3 l0ck ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group u f33l m3?! hahah... Posted by [1358]slf on Mon Feb 14 2005 02:07 ([1359]got somethin to say?) ([1360]Link) (failure) HHE I UZED TO TAKE THA SHROT BUSS TO SKEWL, BUT I PAST THE FORTH GRADE AFTIR LYKE 5 TRYZ CUZ MY MOMMEEE SEZ 'IM SPESCHUL (failure) WOAH MY DAD SEZ AOL IZ DA BAWMB CUZ HE GOTZ 24 HUOR AXSESS TEW ALL DA PYROIALITY KIDDIEZ PR0N HE WANTZ (failure) I KEEEP 0N WATCHN MY LIL BROTHAR CUZ HE TRYIGN TO STAEL MY FOOD AND I WILL DOO RAKSHSIHSI ON HIMM ADN HE WO0NT WAANT TI BAQ CUZ ITZ IN MIY AZZ (failure) ANOOL SECKZ IS LIK3 WARM APPOOL PYE FRUM MC DONNOLDS (failure) MY BALLZ ARE SWEATY, MAKES ME HUNGRY FOR MACARONEE WIFF CHEEZ AND BACON (failure) JOO WOOD NOT BELIEVE HOW PAHR YOU CAN STICKS YOUR FINGER UP YOUR NOSE (slf) p1ck th3 l0ck (slf) unc0v3r th3 tr34sur3 (slf) u n3v3r kn0 whuT m1gHT B3 1n th3r3!?! (slf) u f33l u sc4bZ l1k3 th3yZ b33n th3r3 (slf) bl33d1ng l1k3 u juZT v1z1t3d n tr4sh3d th3 h0t3l DeR?! (slf) h0w d0 y0 n0str1lZ Fl4R# (slf) Why y0 juzT g0nn4 s1t th3r3 N st4r3?! (slf) y0 kn0 1 C u p1ck1n 1n y0 c4r r1ght DER (slf) 0n th3 w4y t0 w0rk l1k3 u n3v3r b33N TH3r3 (slf) 1 h0p3 y0 b0zz c4tch3z U wh3n U bl33d DER (slf) sc4b n0s3 p1ck1n b003r 34t1n ch33z3-b0ss-burg3r b34r (slf) c4nt 3v3n sh4v3 cuz U d0nt g0t th3 t1m3 0r u d0nt 3v3n c4r3 (slf) u sh0ulD ch3ck y0 h41r (slf) th3 b00g3r'Z stucK 1n w1th th3 g3L (slf) 4n u kn0 y0 B0ZZ 1Z g0nNAb3 4bl3 t0 t3LL!! (slf) 4nd th4tZ g0nn4 B sw3LL (slf) wh3n u f3ll (slf) n u s3ll (slf) 3v3ryth1ng u g0t (slf) b3cauZ3 u g0t c4guht p1ck1n th3 l0ck (slf) ;) (slf) u feel me ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group wh4t th3 fuq just my luck l1k3 v3rm1n b3tw33n th3 w0rdz 1 c u usin?! Posted by [1361]slf on Mon Feb 14 2005 01:51 ([1362]got somethin to say?) ([1363]Link) (slf) thats cool. (slf) MMK4Y!?! (slf) HAHA (slf) u c4n h4v3 it y0 W4Y (slf) 4nY d4Y (slf) f0r l3ss ch4ng3 th3n u g0t 1n y0 p0ck3t N3WAY (slf) MMM MM B1TCH, MK4Y! (slf) n0 W4Y?!!?@? #$$$ ! $!$? (slf) er, wh4t'd 1 s4y?! (slf) MMM MM B1TCH, m4KY (slf) n0 d3s1r3 w1th0ut r3str41nt, u shouldnt have t0 sm0k3 w33d n g3t 4 c0mpl41nt (slf) 1ma g0nn4 f41nt (slf) fr0m th1s glyc0m4 cuz a pr13st r0bb3d m3 bcuz he t0ld m3 h3 wuz 4 hunGRY s41nt! (slf) but U 41nt! (slf) whut th3 h3ll 1z y0 M4lcfunCt10n -:- SignOff failure: #IRCpimps (Excess Flood) (slf) yu g0t 4 d1sFUnkZ10n -:- failure [alex@shulgin.tihkal.org] has joined #ircpimps (slf) cool i flooded failure off with my LYRICS OF POWER (slf) FEEL THE POWER OF THE FLOWER (slf) AHAHA (slf) IM RHYMIN A MILLION LINES AN HOUR! (slf) LYRICS HIGH SPEED! (slf) MORE IDEAS THEN U'LL EVER NEED! (slf) t0 1mp3d3 (slf) y0 gr33d (slf) n y0 s33d (slf) s0 th3y c4n r34d (slf) n gr0w up n Br33D (slf) s0 th3y c4n Ch3aT (slf) n th3 g1rl13 c4n s4y sh3 wuZ b3aT (slf) w4th y0 f33t (slf) r1ght th3r3 0n th3 str33t! (slf) 1n fr0nt 0f 4n 4rmy U c4N N3V#R d#F#AT!? (slf) h4h4h4h (failure) yeah thanks shithead (failure) d00d.. i 0wn3d an oc-12. (failure) h3y3, I g0tZ DiZ pr0gR4m 3y3m try3ng t00 wrItE, ItZ cuRR3nTly c4ll3d smurf.c, BuT 3y3 w4nna Chang3 d3 n4m3, h0w d0 I d0 that? (failure) r3dh4t ) sL4kW4R3! (failure) 3h3h3h3h3hh33! 3y3 h4x3d d33 whYte H0uSe c0mPutErz! PHEEEER! (failure) 3y3 0wn3d M3y3 sk3wl C0mPuT3Rz, MSDOS 6.22 1z 33zy t0 r00t! (failure) j00 g0tz 3y3 p33 v33 s1xx? d00d y3r uNh4x0raBl3!!!! (slf) 1 g0t w1nd0wZ 2005 fr0m b1ll g4tEZ's pr1v4t3 PC (slf) n0w HE CAN s33 WhuT iM d01ng WH3n 1 P33 (slf) m4cr0s0ft p4ssp0rt W4NTZ MY DNA?! (slf) I DONT WANT THEM TO KNOW THAT IM GAY! (slf) ahha (slf) i really got a talent for this one. man. (slf) ;) (slf) im serious about it (slf) i got a whole decade worth of shittalking to do. (slf) th3 b4tcH 1Z c0m1ng 0ut 0f m4 m0uuth (slf) 4l0ng w4th m0thz Sk3k3t0nz n sh4t n wazh m0uF! (slf) h4h4. (slf) CRAC4Z w1tH f4nGZ 1n th3y JAW (slf) b1t3 y0 d4ck 0ff r4w (slf) LIK3 DR4CUL4W (slf) HAW HAW HAW (slf) 1....... HAW HAW HAW (slf) 2...... HAW HAW HAW (slf) THREE?!?... HAW HAW HAW HAW (slf) c0unt Ch0KuLAW?! (slf) AHHAHA (slf) WHY RNT U W34r1NG A BR4?! (slf) TH0ZE W3r#NT B00B13Z 4 S4W?! (slf) HAW HAW HAW (slf) n0 1 Wuz s3tt1n u UP w1th th3 LAW (slf) bcuZ i s4w (slf) u 1n 4 b4r (slf) l34v1ng w1th th3 b4ss1st 1n h1z C4R! (slf) u d1dnt g0 v3ry F4R (slf) my l0v# w1ll d3f3at U n0w r U L0ST c$N 1 T4K# u h0m# Wh0 IZ TH1Z GUY?! Why R U h0lD1NG h1M WHERES y0 r1NG wh4T th3 FUQ JUST My LUCK L1k# V3RMIN B3tW33N th3 w0RdZ 1 c U USIN?! ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group u kno i got gems up in here damnit Posted by [1364]slf on Mon Feb 14 2005 01:29 ([1365]got somethin to say?) ([1366]Link) (slf) Oooh, already making waves. (slf) And alcoholism! (slf) haha (slf) ;) * slf tips his beer .----------------------------------------- -- - | slf (acayip@rdns.34.161.62.64.fre.communitycolo.net) (Network) : ircname : acayip | channels : @#ircpimps | server : irc.mzima.net (Welcome to the fjear nation.) : actually : slf : idle : 0 hours 0 mins 52 secs (signon: Sat Feb 12 03:28:55 2005) (slf) im gonna have to find some matches so ican smoke this chroniq resin (slf) im outta beer (slf) so this buzz is gonna fade (slf) its valentines day and i aint gonna get laid (slf) ;) (slf) its ok! i made the grade! (slf) haha;) (slf) u bitches dont think i gotta get PAID? (slf) whees my fuckin money check (slf) i keep thinkin what the heck (slf) to many times ive tried to inspire, but now i just keep thinkin howm'i'gunna'get'wired? (slf) plugged into nothin (slf) there has to be somethin! (slf) about then uh, yo tokin! (slf) token. (slf) tucan. (slf) a gift of my affectCHAN (slf) rhymin about mexiCANS (slf) r u a FAN (slf) dis be the PLAN (slf) u da MAN (slf) why u tryin to UNDERSTAN (slf) whut im DOIN (slf) it just aint the same unless u TWOIN (slf) u kno i aint FOOLIN (slf) haha (slf) im PROVIN (slf) u MOVIN?! (slf) haha' (slf) am i getin THRU? (slf) i kno u KNEW! (slf) how to BREW (slf) why u a JEW! (slf) haehahahha. (slf) uh..;) (slf) bcuz im KEW! (slf) haha;) just kiddin. (slf) and im not a FEW (slf) thats shit is THRU! (slf) pieeeeeeeeeeeee-YEW! (slf) haha (slf) ;) (slf) u KNOW ITS TRUE! -:- mode/#ircpimps [+o trixter] by verse (slf) whutz there do DEW?! (slf) HAha;) (slf) therez muthin to CHEW! (slf) nothin to smoke.. (slf) while im at it.. (slf) ;) (slf) cept for these cancer STICKS (slf) and the their chemical TRICKS (slf) guaranteein my bad luck with-da CHICKS (slf) what DICKS (slf) damn HICKS (slf) uh hur uh hur (slf) GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE (slf) we gonna UNWIND! my alcholism-induced-sociopathic-schizophrenic-violent-dendencies on yo BEHIND (slf) UHHHHH can u Feel it?! (slf) lyrically bein a ninja without SEEIN IT?! (slf) what the HELL YA GONNA DO? (slf) u n me supposedly got the SAME CREW! (slf) until they FLEW (slf) right outta the COUP-de-DOO! (slf) right into my SHOE! (slf) until i put it on, anyway (slf) damn im FLUENT (slf) my brain is CONGRUENT (slf) symmetrically applied so U CAN GET THREW IT (slf) u feel me? or am i gonna have to see tew it that yew DEW! (slf) sucka. (slf) fucka. (slf) jokah. (slf) TOKAH! (slf) FAKAH! (slf) bitch-ass-plAYAH! (slf) u SHAKAH, and i wunna shaKA witCHA, n take yo PICTCHA (slf) haha;) (slf) i come from the rich ass white GHETTO (slf) where i cant get no PAY unless I tell my morals to LET GO (slf) what the hell do U KNOW (slf) i aint even got to SEE A DOCTOR (slf) u better be in by 5 of CLOCK or the boss will SOCK HER! (slf) they label u an IMPOSTOR (slf) and now u LOST HER (slf) right into a ROBOT reflectOR (slf) replacement u 2.0 (slf) upgrade yo shit yo (slf) r u running the windowz 2005 personal edition from BILL GATESOR's personal COMPUTOR yo!? (slf) IM DOWNLOADING IT RIGHT NOW YO (slf) WHERE THE HELL DO U WUNNA GO!?! (slf) today (slf) HAHA (slf) shit thats gay (slf) ill RUE U THE DAY (slf) when u SAY (slf) u gunna SEE IT MY WAY (slf) i can wait until one hundred and three (slf) cause THATS HOW OLD IM GONNA BE (slf) evil cracka ass BASTARDdd (slf) u got more chains than Mr.T's LAUGHTER! (slf) huh-haht (slf) freestylin like u GONNA GET MY HAIRCUT (slf) whut the fuck u gonna say CAUSE I GOT MY ON SWITCH STUCK (slf) just my LUC! (slf) LUCK (slf) ;) (slf) ah FUCK! (slf) i typod that shit and i almost earned a BUCK! (slf) i got hit by a TRUCK while i was gettin SUCKED (slf) and now imFUCKED (slf) right back atcha (slf) u FUCKIN with me what u thinku GONNA CATCHA?! (slf) its not like IM MAD ATCHA (slf) right back atcha. (slf) right f'ing back atcha. (slf) fuckers. (slf) fucking fucks. (slf) HAHA (slf) Peter, did you get the memo about those TPS reports?! (slf) Yeah, I did, while I was filling out those ARREST REPORTS@! (slf) narqin u out like the BITCHES U R (slf) because u hit me in the face and NOW I ALL I CAN SEE R *'s (slf) like i got shot to MARS (slf) man im about as HUNGRY AS LARS (slf) lets go sit in the jacuzzi and sit under the STARZ (slf) haha.. (slf) god dman! (slf) ;) (slf) i roll3D up t0 n4pst3r t0 adm1n1st4at3 the s3v3n s3az (slf) wh3n m3tall1c4 wuz sh0win up t0 guarant33 th3 b1rdZ n th3 b33Z (slf) pr0b4bly wUZ sm0k1n th0z3 Tr33Z (slf) m4yb3 th3 0nly r34z0n they h1r3d m3 wuz b3cuZ th3y wuz distr4ct3d (slf) but 1 w3nt d0wn with the sh1p n they c4ll me the dr3ad pir14t3 r0b3rtz (slf) CAPTAIN, rotate the shield harmonics. (slf) CAPTAIN, we are losing warp drive. (slf) CAPTAIN, she can't take it anyamore! shes gonna blow! (slf) *b00m!@#!@#*& (slf) n0w 1 l0st 3v3ryth1ng WHERE AM 1 G0nn4 G0?! (slf) 1 g0t US3D 4ND 4BUS3D S0 MUCH 1 g0tta STEP UP (slf) s0 1 c4n sh0w U ALL h0w F'ING MESSED UP (slf) th1s 1s (slf) t3h sux (slf) r0x nutZ (slf) WICKED CUTZ (slf) savagE LUCKZ (slf) makin SUM BUCKZ!@ (slf) th3y g0t my c4t my h0m3y my g1rl13 my b4ckup g1rl13 my l4wy3r my h3alth and my h34rt -:- Channel userlist for #IRCpimps at (01:18am): (slf) n0w th4t d4mn 3c0l1 t0r3 m3 4p4rT! (slf) whuT i c4nt ExpL41n 1z why my pussy b3 g0n3?! (slf) sh1T KITTY 1 WUZNT d34D ITS JUST THAT NOBODY CAr3D 4b0ut m3! (slf) l4k3 u st4r3 wh3n u l00k 0ut th3 m1rr0r (slf) U s3T urs3lf fr33 n n0w i g0t n0 k1bbl3 (slf) 4ll 1 c4n 4ff0rd 1z k1bbl3s n SKR1BBL3 (slf) w1zzl3 (slf) 1 t00k u 2 th3 r4v3 (slf) n u s4w th3 w4v3 (slf) u r4n aw4Y f0r 4 d4y (slf) n g0t s0 h1gh 4z FUQ u l0st y0 waY (slf) home s0 u sm0k3d 4 J (slf) 4nd d1d s0m3 K (slf) 4nd w3nt d0wn t0 th3 und3rgr0und 0f th3 b4y! (slf) f0 a d4y (slf) n a ST4Y (slf) n th4tz 0k (slf) h3r3 k1tty k1tty i h0p3 u CAN PLAY?! (slf) 1 g0t U 4 br4c3l3t can u STAY?! (slf) QHAHAHAHA (slf) n0w u kn0 i g0t u (slf) unt1l th3 n3xt 3pis0de, mmk4y haha. (slf) ;) ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group And so it begins - Perl for rappers, Rap for perl programmers Posted by [1367]slf on Sun Feb 13 2005 22:38 ([1368]got somethin to say?) ([1369]Link) all (C)2005 by Steven Fountain heh. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group man it sure is a good thing we have videogames these days Posted by [1370]slf on Sun Feb 13 2005 18:53 ([1371]got somethin to say?) ([1372]Link) Urge to kill increasing. *flips on kill.switch* layed waste to the oil rig. Really got into it. Seriously. Whooped the shit out of that oil rig. Urge to kill decreasing. See how easy that is? The next level however wasn't so easy. It felt like genocide compared to the level I just beat down like a baby seal. Sure was challenging tho, until next time, i'm thinking. ill take on the whole damn taliban army single handed. -- With a reset button. *powers off for now* ..slf dear mom Posted by [1373]slf on Sun Feb 13 2005 18:15 ([1374]got somethin to say?) ([1375]Link) I can't believe I was having a good day and my own mom ruined it. What the hell are you trying to do to me? I'd choose decency, i'd choose civility, i'd choose legality, i'd chose harmony, not SAVAGERY not HOSTILITY not CRIMINALITY and not discord. What the fuck. You really get under my skin, where do I BEGIN? You really get through to me, just not in the way I SEE YOU SCREWING ME I gotta eat, don't i?!?! feels like you're backing me into the same corner I was in WHEN THAT GUY MOLESTED ME grow the fuck up, your 50 years old u fight with playground tactics of a 2 yr old! I've been battling you as long as I can remember if the truth isint good enough then HOW DO I SURRENDER? If my evidence is contrary to your speculated FACT then how the fuck am I SPOSED TO REACT? Check your assumptions at the door, because you don't really know me anymore. Food for thought. If I had any. ..slf [1376]Read More... (4 comments) strengthening the connection with your children - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1377]slf on Sun Feb 13 2005 01:41 ([1378]got somethin to say?) ([1379]Link) ..slf ita uno!! Posted by [1380]slf on Sun Feb 13 2005 01:20 ([1381]got somethin to say?) ([1382]Link) I go out and get two burritos and on the way home encountered a guy pissing on a tree right by my house, and I said "HEY! People live here." and everytime he said something I repeated "people live here." in a forceful tone of voice. When I got upstairs a bunch of people showed up with authentic mexican beer. Muchos cerbasas. They gave me a beer. The guy who peed on the tree walked up to a car that approached, with his friend, and they sat there talking, I smoking a cigarette on the 3rd floor doin what I usually do. Then this baby starts screaming. For a good 4 to 10 minutes. And nobody says anything about him/her and they keep talking as usual. Some more people come upstairs for the party, and I say "ita uno?????" "is the little child ok?" -- and they downplay what sounds like cruel discomfort. Then the parents(apparently) went back downstairs and the child starts crying and screaming even worse almost like you could feel its life fading, and its really getting bad. You could totally tell someone was shaking the baby!!!!!??!!?!!!!! I storm right up to their open door and scream ITA UNO!!!! ITA UNO!!! And just then the parents walk up and I say ITA UNO!!!!! And she says ita uno?? And I say "yeah, ita littlle uno one- little one" and she says "yeah, she crys alot." and then the father flips me some attitude and I say "ita uno! INNOCENT" and they go inside and close their door and the baby stops getting hurt. THAT IS THE KIND OF MAN THAT I AM! ..slf literally, and in more ways than one Posted by [1383]slf on Sat Feb 12 2005 18:13 ([1384]got somethin to say?) ([1385]Link) Literally, And in more ways than one. My subconcious is being funny. bring it on Posted by [1386]slf on Sat Feb 12 2005 14:56 ([1387]got somethin to say?) ([1388]Link) (slf) im gonna go rap to my homey in the group home (slf) he deserves to hear it firsty (slf) u feely me (faiz) ahhaaha (slf) he's hookin me up with Murs & Slug (faiz) who are you rapping to (faiz) the old people? (slf) i'd rather join the atmosphere ticket than the slim shady ticket (slf) a prodigy. (slf) whos in a rehabilitation center (slf) i followed him into hell and brought his ass back out (slf) right now (slf) i battled my mom (slf) i battled the last girl i was in love with (slf) i battled TREES (slf) http://enraptured.dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108207984 (slf) http://enraptured.dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108195208 (slf) http://enraptured.dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108072306 (slf) shit (slf) i even told off chris brentano (slf) http://enraptured.dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107993371 (slf) my filthy mouth got me into this mess (slf) SHIT i even got FIRED for singing adam sandlers ODE TO MY CAR from infoblox.com (slf) they was like "Damn kid! You got soul!" (slf) (i was really more like, Im drunk sucka!) (slf) and they was like "You certainly have yourself another career, now" (slf) DAMN STRAIGHT! (slf) my boss punched me in the FACE (slf) and i took his ass to COURT (slf) at sharechive (slf) fuckin fucks] (slf) I GOT A WHOLE LOTTA REPRESSED ANGER TO COME OUT AND A WHOLLLLLLLLLE LOTTA INK (slf) who better to rap about the MAN KEEPIN U DOWN (slf) but ME? (slf) i aint never seen that 52" tv (slf) microsoft! (slf) NAPSTER (slf) COBALT (slf) EXODUS (slf) EXCITE@HOME (slf) AT&T?! (slf) WHERES MY FUCKIN MONEY CHECK? (slf) I wrote an ESSAY and got a ticket from chicago to oregon (slf) My words have great power (slf) rode up in that train PHAT (slf) cleared out the bar (slf) i remember every one of those guys (slf) http://dreamscape.org/amtrak/ (slf) the rail behind. (slf) muwahahahahha (slf) My words got me into this mess, (slf) and they're gonna get me outta this mess (slf) and they're gonna put my kid through college. (slf) and buy sarita a ferrari (slf) and so i can buy her house and BLOW IT THE FUCK UP (slf) or her WHOLE DAMN TOWN (slf) Mr. Mayor?! (slf) HAHA (slf) Silver City new mexico. (slf) KRS?! (slf) U FEEL ME?! (slf) THAT TOWN HAS MY RADIANCE WRITTEN ALL OVER IT (slf) fuck black and white (slf) REFLECTION (slf) LIGHT (slf) SHIMMER (slf) ITS SHINY MOTHERFUCKA! (slf) the silver bullet. (slf) full of WEREWOLVES n shit (slf) and im gonna be TOP DAWG (slf) R00F r00F! (slf) ever heard the eminem song bad and evil? (slf) BILLY THE KID IS FROM SILVER CITY NEW MEXICO! (slf) they took this WHOLLLLLLLLLE town over (slf) made billy the kid and jessie james look like LAW ABIDING CITIZENS (slf) too bad they had to go out the WAY THEY DID (slf) they wuz two of the most WANTED INDIVIDUALS in the WHOOOOOOOOLE COUNTY (slf) they got shot out of that OLLLLLLD SALOON (slf) wait?! DID YALL HEAR THAT?! (slf) AHHA! (slf) i feel like hearing die mutherfucker die all of a sudden by the ghetto boys (slf) LITERALLY (slf) hahaha (slf) the neighbors know whassup (slf) ;) (slf) ive been harassin them all week! (slf) haha (slf) u kno DIS! (slf) [haha my /wd drive is actually a 80 gig drive, but it metamorphed into a 500 gig drive, then a 137 gig drive, then a 8 gig drive, and now a 25 gig drive?!!?] * slf queues up party for the fight to write (slf) i *know* he's gotta be a mason (slf) he has to be (slf) with some of the lyrics ive heard him spit (slf) i *ADMINISTRATED* bringin u mp3s (slf) I MADE THAT SHIT HAPPEN (slf) I WENT DOWN WITH THAT SHIP! (slf) ITS ONLY NATURAL! (slf) HAHA! (slf) HOLY CRAP all my music has new meaning! * slf queues up super-bon-bon (slf) JENNI SANG THIS! (slf) HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAH * slf queued yomanda synth and strings before that * slf queues up backbone - five deuce four tre (slf) ;) why thank u Posted by [1389]slf on Sat Feb 12 2005 12:53 ([1390]got somethin to say?) ([1391]Link) "Steven, you are the DEFINITION of the phrase m4d cr4zy SK1LLZ!" ..slf two birds with one stone Posted by [1392]slf on Sat Feb 12 2005 03:33 ([1393]got somethin to say?) ([1394]Link) (slf) two birds with ONE STONE one LIFE and a whole lotta TREES (slf) bwahha (slf) do u need water? (slf) somebody to talk to u? (slf) some sunlight? (slf) more soil? (slf) bigger ROOTS? (slf) haha (slf) MIRACLE grow? (slf) more AIR to BREATHE? (slf) FUNGUS medicine? (slf) what'll it be (slf) a VIEW?! (slf) hahahahah... (slf) CATS who donut wanna EAT U? (slf) *mrowl!* *HISS* (slf) another tree JUST LIKE U? (slf) a bench?! (slf) a promise not to turn u into LUMBER? haha. (slf) winter to change to spring to turn into SUMMER?! (slf) I wonder (slf) maybe we'll turn u into DRUM STICKS and make some THUNDER (slf) or put u SIX FEET UNDER (slf) this FIREPLACE is kindof warm lets SNUGGLE AND SLUMBER chew eat it rinse and repeat and hand urself a towel viewing the world through a window - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1395]slf on Sat Feb 12 2005 01:33 ([1396]got somethin to say?) ([1397]Link) ..slf to quote crouching tiger HIDDEN DRAGON Posted by [1398]slf on Sat Feb 12 2005 01:16 ([1399]got somethin to say?) ([1400]Link) No growth -- without assistance No action -- without reaction No desire -- without restraint Now give yourself up -- and find yourself again There is a lesson for you. to quote KATIE M Posted by [1401]slf on Sat Feb 12 2005 00:15 ([1402]got somethin to say?) ([1403]Link) "Why go out for hamburgers when u got meat and potatoes at home?" Right back F'ing atcha. They're your words! Take yo own damn medicine and HAVE A HEART most important conversation with H Posted by [1404]slf on Sat Feb 12 2005 00:00 ([1405]got somethin to say?) ([1406]Link) [msg(H)] hello sir [msg(H)] i have been meaning to get ahold of you [H(~ra@)] yes [H(~ra@)] what's up dude [msg(H)] this is steven fountain [msg(H)] u n me got the same son's first name [msg(H)] ala sarita's decision, u feel me? [H(~ra@)] yes I know of you [msg(H)] i'm really a good guy and i got a good heart [H(~ra@)] never meet I dont think [msg(H)] and shes acting really crazy [msg(H)] ive been to a couple of your talks [msg(H)] only i didnt kno u had a thing for her at the time:) [msg(H)] Look so its basicly this is about true love [msg(H)] and I dont have the strength to convince her myself [msg(H)] so I must spend the rest of my days convincing the world to help me out [msg(H)] shes goin around slandering me saying i beat her [msg(H)] and that im a woman beater [msg(H)] and a punk and this and that [msg(H)] and there was no merit to it from day one [msg(H)] she all of a sudden one day decided to do the dishes at my homeys house [msg(H)] and started extorting him for "thank yous" [msg(H)] and he wanted to shower/eat/whatever within the first 1 hr of getting home [msg(H)] we were guests [msg(H)] she was blastin music 120 dB n shit [H(~ra@)] I can tell you that I have no control over her, per the fact the we broke up. Don't know if I can help you [msg(H)] pissin off the neighbors [msg(H)] and smokin weed and drinkin with my kid [msg(H)] Oh contrare good sir [msg(H)] this is about true love [msg(H)] And the whole reason shes been hurting me and ruining my life.. [msg(H)] Is all hinged around the fact that she decided to do dishes in my homeys house and then guilt trip him when he didnt ask her. [msg(H)] Everything she has said and done since then and everything that has happened with her and I all hinges around the fact that nobody told her that doing such a thing was WRONG -:- Starting conversation with H [msg(H)] 10 days before we concieved my son [H(~ra@)] I'm not sure where your going with this story [msg(H)] she said this, to herself, in her journal -:- Ending conversation with H -:- Starting conversation with H [msg(H)] "Steven is the most perfect husband any girl could ever have and I am the [msg(H)] luckiest woman in the world to have him for my own. He has it on all [msg(H)] fronts. Intellect, Intuition, Emotion, and a body that the most brilliant [msg(H)] of artists couldn't duplicate and do it justice. [msg(H)] In fact, words do no justice to the unconditional, all-inclusive, complete [msg(H)] and total pure love that eternally pours from the depths of my heart, [msg(H)] vainly attempting to fill his boundless soul." [msg(H)] (c) Sarita, 6/3/2003 [msg(H)] She *also* forgot her own words [msg(H)] I have photo proof. [msg(H)] My son, she, and I all deserve each other. [msg(H)] and nobody's told her it aint right [msg(H)] and she cant admit shes wrong [msg(H)] she has been hurting me so much that I have risen up from the ashes [msg(H)] with plans, u feel me? [msg(H)] I can either: [msg(H)] A) be a humble man [msg(H)] or [msg(H)] B) be a great man [msg(H)] Nobody told her that aint right. [msg(H)] Nobody had my back. [H(~ra@)] what do you want from her though? [msg(H)] And in hindsight, it would mean the world to me to have someone such as yourself help the cause. [msg(H)] to wake up and see her every day [msg(H)] to love her [msg(H)] to be loved by her [msg(H)] to be the father i was meant to be [msg(H)] and to have her be the mother she was meant to be [msg(H)] to marry her [msg(H)] and to treat her like gold for the rest of her days [msg(H)] and never take her for granted ever again [msg(H)] also to have more children [msg(H)] to make alot of money, and to give it to her like nobody ever gave it to me [msg(H)] to give it to my son and to provide him a better life [msg(H)] and to keep an eye on my boy [msg(H)] theres no father figure w/him right now [msg(H)] and i sure as hell dont want there to be a wannabe-me 2.0 [msg(H)] which she is currently working on [msg(H)] all because she forgot her own words [msg(H)] and because she couldn't admit she was wrong [msg(H)] starting an endless chain of bad events [msg(H)] Except for this checkmate move. [msg(H)] u feel me? [H(~ra@)] but what will you do if it's really over? [msg(H)] That is the truth [msg(H)] and I would dare never speak a lie about her [msg(H)] I will never give up on her [msg(H)] i will be celibate [msg(H)] for the rest of my days [msg(H)] no masterbation [msg(H)] no girls [msg(H)] fuck it [msg(H)] and i will be patient [msg(H)] and i will be a great man, the HARD way, [msg(H)] singin at baseball games [msg(H)] embaressin myself [msg(H)] buyin billboards [msg(H)] newspaper ads [msg(H)] signs on a bus [msg(H)] airplanes [msg(H)] i'll pull the damn moon down [msg(H)] i'll change spirituality forever [msg(H)] both are noble causes. [msg(H)] but i will never give up on her. [msg(H)] i loved her so much that quitting was never an option [msg(H)] and i am in love with her [msg(H)] REALLY in love with her [msg(H)] and enough to talk to you here [msg(H)] all because of the fact that she guilt tripped my friend (who later assault and battered me) [H(~ra@)] hey, can we pick this up tomorrow? [msg(H)] and because she disrespected his house [msg(H)] hells ya homey [msg(H)] True love. [H(~ra@)] I have work at 7:30AM tomorrow [msg(H)] *bow* [msg(H)] 100% is 100% [msg(H)] good luck tomorrow/tonight [msg(H)] at least somebodys sleepin in vegas [msg(H)] u feel me hehe [msg(H)] ;) [H(~ra@)] yeah [H(~ra@)] talk to ya then [msg(H)] my # is 925-895-1500 [msg(H)] btw, SMS = ok [msg(H)] SLICK! [msg(H)] ;) -:- Ending conversation with H (slf) SLICK! (slf) ;) (slf) got a IMPORTANT team member on the team (slf) Her last boyfriend before me. (slf) A hacker. (slf) MUA HA HA (slf) A very important hacker. (slf) I am cashing in on some of these karmatic debts. (slf) I know he will understand what I Wrote. [1407]Read More... (12 comments) don't downgrade your self from FRIEND to TREACHEROUS RAT now for the SECOND TIME Posted by [1408]slf on Fri Feb 11 2005 17:39 ([1409]got somethin to say?) ([1410]Link) If katie m is a TREACHEROUS RAT she just made the problem A WHOLE LOT WORSE ..slf i cant believe im quoting ronald reagan Posted by [1411]slf on Fri Feb 11 2005 02:36 ([1412]got somethin to say?) ([1413]Link) "While never willing to bow to a tyrant, our forefathers were always willing to get to their knees before God. When catastrophe threatened, they turned to God for deliverance. When the harvest was bountiful, the first thought was thanksgiving to God. Prayer is today as powerful a force in our nation as it has ever been. We as a nation should never forget this source of strength. And while recognizing that the freedom to choose a Godly path is the essence of liberty, as a nation we cannot but hope that more of our citizens would, through prayer, come into a closer relationship with their Maker." (Reagan 3-19-1981) the ULTIMATE ECOLI i got from the ULTIMATE CHEESEBURGER Posted by [1414]slf on Thu Feb 10 2005 22:02 ([1415]got somethin to say?) ([1416]Link) 21:37 (slf) u r what u eat 21:40 (slf) nutZ honEY and FISH FOOD 21:40 (slf) ha ha ha 21:48 (slf) and PHAT 21:49 (slf) nutZ honEy FISH FOOD and PHAT 21:49 (slf) or runny shitcheese, but i already done had eaten the ULTIMATE ECOLI 21:49 (slf) from the ULTIMATE CHEESEBURGER 21:50 (slf) and it was ultimate 21:51 (slf) my ass hurts just thinking about the rotoruter man uncloging the blood 21:51 (slf) for 175$ 21:51 (slf) and goin to the san mateo hospital 21:51 (slf) TWICE 21:51 (slf) shit 21:52 (slf) talk about a wake up call, 21:52 (slf) County morgue, how can i help u 21:54 (slf) they wuz like HOW DID U HEAL LIKE DAT? 21:54 (slf) i was like IM SUPERPOWERFUL BIZNACHES 21:54 (slf) they wuz like U SHOULD BE FUCKEDUPLIKEDAT 21:55 (slf) i wuz like GIMMIE ANOTHER CHEESEBURGER 21:55 (slf) literally 21:55 (slf) ;) woah hehe - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1417]slf on Thu Feb 10 2005 20:36 ([1418]got somethin to say?) ([1419]Link) This very green powder if it had some sodium in it would practically be fish food. FISH FOOD NOMNOMNOM. Its neat to make something like odwalla superfood instantly. ..slf more material Posted by [1420]slf on Thu Feb 10 2005 18:09 ([1421]got somethin to say?) ([1422]Link) (slf) The Colors The Colors! (slf) Did u kno i wuz written in C, nigga!? (slf) haha (slf) [if you've ever mudded that would crack u up] (slf) PUF PUF PUF PUF PUF the magic DRAGON (slf) Haha (slf) ;) (slf) BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP thats for LAUGHIN (slf) haha;) (slf) 'did u kno u n me wuz written in C?!' (slf) haha (slf) oh shit (slf) im dyin! (slf) HAHA -:- SignOff Al_C: #IRCpimps (Ping timeout: 195 seconds) (slf) if u had a dollar for every word u coulda said why is yur wallet empty (slf) if u had a dollar for every word u coulda said (slf) if u had a dollar for every word u coulda said (slf) why is yur wallet empty (slf) fuqr;) i make this look easy (slf) Thats why im doin it -:- SignOff trixter__: #IRCpimps (Remote host closed the connection) (slf) so somebody will look u in the eye someday and be your brother instead of your neighbor -:- trixter [~trixter@65.172.209.246] has joined #IRCpimps (slf) hmz's already got his name on the ticket (slf) verse already got his name on the ticket (slf) jeffs on the ticket (slf) oh fer sho on that on, jeffs got the vip backstage all access pace (slf) pass (slf) ;) (slf) one;P -:- SignOff trixter: #IRCpimps (Remote host closed the connection) (slf) Ok, Listenin. (slf) Playin records. (slf) Queuein records. (slf) Spinnin and mixin records. (slf) Scratchin records. (slf) Makin records. (slf) And VERSIN UP the records. (slf) Just like dat`. (slf) Some day I'm gonna be a martial artist (slf) A lyrical ninja (slf) it'll be like the HYANDAUI, the MITSUBISHI, the HONDA, the TOYOTA (slf) only its gonna be like the SNOOP, THE MAC DRE, THE SLUG, THE EYEDEA, THE OBIE... (slf) bcuz im a STRING THEORY NINJA (slf) GET IN (slf) GET OUT (slf) INFECT EVERYONE (slf) leave it in SHAMBLES (slf) Wait. (slf) Rinse and repeat. (slf) thats my PURPOSE (slf) WATCH OUT! wild and UNCONTROLLABLE IDEAS! (slf) easy SCAPEGOAT! (slf) MUA HA HA (slf) i've had a TWO FISTS full of people tell me im crazy HOW BOUT U? (slf) TODAY alone! (hMz) haha (hMz) terrin it up (slf) im tired of livin in the shadows (slf) its time to step into the SPOT LIGHT more material Posted by [1423]slf on Thu Feb 10 2005 17:31 ([1424]got somethin to say?) ([1425]Link) (Euched) thats just paranoia (slf) Euched: Prove it. (slf) punk ass bitch (Euched) heh (slf) what the fuck does your never-been-around-the-block ass know (slf) SHIT (Euched) hahah (slf) Thats called HINDSIGHT (slf) And this is called CONFIDENCE (slf) fucker (Euched) riiight (slf) *laughs at u* (slf) very runny (Euched) *yawns* at you (slf) hur hur (slf) your a no talent ass clown too (slf) if thats how u step to me (slf) get out of my airwaves (Euched) anyhow... (slf) moving on to.. (slf) oh yeah thats right, me (slf) shut the fuck up (slf) this be #ircdoggin now, nigga (slf) with FRIENDS like you (slf) who needs YOU is more like im thinkin (slf) *goes to smoke* i'll be back to put your ass in line and to correct datshit in about 5 minutes, enjoy the no seatbelts sign and i'll be right back atcha (hMz) damn (hMz) you got euched! (Euched) lol * Euched/#ircpimps is bored (Euched) and could care less what he's babbling about (hMz) yea (hMz) he's our antiidle bot (hMz) so opers dont break down the +k (hMz) and try to +i it (Euched) lol (hMz) my isp told me that if i could shut him u (hMz) they'd give me a free month (hMz) in saved bandwidth. (Euched) hahaha (slf) hMz: thanks homey (slf) ;) haha (slf) i'm ur keepalive (slf) so ur link doesnt get severed forever (slf) sucka (slf) ;) (slf) ur a half duplex motherfucker (slf) Me, I listen (slf) I responsd (slf) I keep talkin full duplex (slf) i got all the time in the world right now (slf) u juts dont got nothin to say! (slf) Come on man it aint hard! (slf) just try it out (slf) say somethin u think im afraid of (slf) ill step to it (slf) i am all of it (slf) and its all probably true (slf) at least im not a punk false fake bitch like u (slf) im pimp enough for all ya'll (slf) I AM ULAW (slf) I AM NOBODYS BITCH (slf) haha [1426]Read More... (2 comments) good faith Posted by [1427]slf on Thu Feb 10 2005 16:51 ([1428]got somethin to say?) ([1429]Link) I got the good faith to keep workin on the good faith! I got the good faith I had when I went into this I got the good faith I had when u knew this I got the good faith I had when u blew dis I got the good faith I had when u got thru dis I got the good faith I had when u choosed this! I got the good faith I had when u lossed this I got the good faith I had to try and renew this I got the good faith I had to get through this ..slf how i explained it to katie when she felt the shift Posted by [1430]slf on Thu Feb 10 2005 13:51 ([1431]got somethin to say?) ([1432]Link) Faith is 100% Believing in something is 100% Believing in someone is 100% Unconditional love is 100% Brotherly love is 100% Universal love is 100% Brotherly love and unconditional love dont mix. And connection with god is 100% Anything less than 100% and these things are not what they are or doomed to fail. Or the connection is Severed Or you are talking half duplex Hogging the line Not receiving And the connection is Broken I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU SARITA! [1433]Read More... (10 comments) steven fountain Posted by [1434]slf on Thu Feb 10 2005 12:52 ([1435]got somethin to say?) ([1436]Link) "I would rather die, or die sooner, than live another day without that love." ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group I love you sarita Posted by [1437]slf on Thu Feb 10 2005 12:43 ([1438]got somethin to say?) ([1439]Link) (slf) and thats gonna be like yea for sure! (slf) ooooh-oh-OH (slf) and thats gonna be like love for sure! (slf) oooooh-oh-OH-OH (slf) what is the name of this song (hMz) garbage (hMz) ? (slf) no (slf) It aint over and thats for sho! (slf) [dun-dun dun-DUNT.. dun-dun dun DUNT] (slf) [dun-dun dun-DUNT.. dun-dun dun DUNT] (slf) oooooh-oh-OH-OH (slf) dun-dun- dun-Dunt-DuntDunt (slf) It aint over and thats for sho! (slf) and thats gonna be like yea for sure! (slf) and thats gonna be like love for sure! I cant recall the name of it, but my heart is singing! I am *IN LOVE* with you Sarita! [1440]Read More... (1 comments) saritas unconditional love for me Posted by [1441]slf on Thu Feb 10 2005 12:15 ([1442]got somethin to say?) ([1443]Link) "Steven is the most perfect husband any girl could ever have and I am the luckiest woman in the world to have him for my own. He has it on all fronts. Intellect, Intuition, Emotion, and a body that the most brilliant of artists couldn't duplicate and do it justice. In fact, words do no justice to the unconditional, all-inclusive, complete and total pure love that eternally pours from the depths of my heart, vainly attempting to fill his boundless soul." (c) Sarita, 6/3/2003 I will never give up on you. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group I love you SARITA Posted by [1444]slf on Thu Feb 10 2005 11:52 ([1445]got somethin to say?) ([1446]Link) If you love someone, set them free. I DID THAT if they come back to you, SHE DID THAT it was meant to be. NEVER GIVE UP ON SOMEONE! GIVE YOUR LIFE GIVE EVERYTHING DO WHATEVER IT TAKES FIGHT FOR IT ITS WORTH IT WORK HARD AND GIVE IT EVERYTHING YOUVE GOT ..slf a unix marvel - parasitically doing tintin over netcat over detachtty over ssh over pppd over vtun oveover screen over irc Posted by [1447]slf on Wed Feb 09 2005 23:50 ([1448]got somethin to say?) ([1449]Link) (slf) heh (slf) alllllllright! (slf) now we're in business! (slf) perfect. (slf) amatter afact, this is technically irc over screen over ssh over ppp over vtun over detachtty over netcat over tintin. (slf) or maybe thats reversed, im not so sure. (slf) my traffic now appears like linenoise or beacons or samba broadcasts. :p (slf) instead of a flood. (slf) oh yeah, and its natted behind another box. :p (slf) haha. (slf) no wait (slf) natted behind 2 boxes on two private networks (slf) haha. (slf) no wait (slf) *three* private networks - the point to point, my lan, my neighbors lan (slf) *two* encryptions - one ssh (twofish256-cbc) and vtun's blowfish (slf) not my bandwidth (slf) using screen (slf) via detachtty/netcat (slf) using a mud client. (slf) to use an irc client! (slf) haha! (slf) detachtty 3034 /usr/bin/ssh root@10.20.20.10 (slf) while true (slf) do netcat -l -p 9090 -c 'attachtty 3034' (slf) done (slf) then telnet localhost 9090 or tintin or tinyfugue or whatever (slf) this is so goddamn unorthodox (slf) e (slf) e (slf) n (slf) haha (slf) ) (slf) e (slf) e (slf) e (slf) n (slf) n (slf) n (slf) s (slf) s (slf) e (slf) ha ha ha (slf) Its actually in a nutshell: parasitically doing tintin over netcat over detachtty over ssh over pppd over vtun oveover screen over irc (slf) k *Man* (slf) k *Woman* (slf) k *Hobbit* (slf) k *Half-Elf* (slf) k *Elf* (slf) k *Woman* enter a bunch of times. (slf) oops (slf) oh shit (slf) haha (slf) my bad (slf) forgot :p (slf) aliases. (slf) haha (slf) fire.pvv.org 4242 :P (slf) come on (slf) someone play along (slf) WHO (slf) look (slf) open yourmind (slf) get yourattention (slf) inventory (slf) haha (slf) damn lag (slf) why isint this game being responsive (slf) ha ha ha (slf) U r in a dungeon (slf) haha (slf) Ouch! You're dead.. Sorry! (slf) U fall off a cliff and lose your gold. (slf) is dead! R.I.P. (slf) *a Dwarf* is here (slf) k *Dwarf* (slf) bash (slf) if (0) {bash *Dwarf*} (slf) ha ha ha (slf) *a Dwarf* is standing (slf) k *dwarf* (slf) bash (slf) haha! (slf) *a Hobbit* leaves his hiding (slf) k *Hobbit* (slf) bash (slf) hehe (slf) fucking leet. (slf) drinks some water. (slf) drink water (slf) leaves its hiding place. (slf) assist (slf) z (slf) recovered his senses. (slf) bash (slf) i wonder if i can write an eliza-esque program (slf) using this thing (slf) hehe (slf) I need a cat (slf) I'll sell you a cat for a dollar (slf) hehe. (slf) feh (slf) kindof dangerous though (slf) fun, but dangerous (slf) hehe. (slf) You hit [this is a test of the highlighting] (slf) OOOOH! (slf) neato! (slf) blah blah blah tells you blah blah blah (slf) OOH! (slf) autohighlighting text?! (slf) i have way too much time on my hands (slf) I really can use tintin to automate the unix sysadmin. (slf) holy crap. (slf) no kidding. (slf) i could be all like, U see u r getting hacked (slf) and i could write myself a little email (slf) on the fly just by making two actions (slf) ssh has imprisoned these type of terminal-assistants for TOO LONG (slf) expect is gay, tintin++'s regexes are kindof gay, irc::open2 is kindof gay because it doesnt hijack tty's... detachtty see* Mackdadi/#ircpimps has returned, hi. [gone:3h8m22s] (slf) now i need tintin, but with perl regexes. (slf) i suppose i could write a multithreaded perl tintin replacement providing actions substitutions highlighting aliases evala i want to make something that can control screen like a droid sentinel (slf) look at what its lookin for (slf) and diagnose shit like i would diagnose shit, not scripted (slf) but actually interactive (slf) and then give it a record/learn mode (slf) or that would automatically battle (slf) or tell somebody to screw off when it was being talked about (slf) indirectly (slf) or be a conduit relay to a program through another medium (slf) or something (slf) that could like, automatically do powerful shit (slf) sort crap, make crap unique, soundex crap, soundex-rainbow-acquire, soundex-rainbow-acquire-new (slf) based on hoho regexes (slf) so u could type out "i need an exit" and it would like, do the procedure if it thought it was a safe moment to begin sendi so u could lie to people (slf) and type something inconspicuous (slf) and that would activate the secret magic (slf) n shit (slf) 'sure just let me say goodbye to my wife' (slf) u kno (slf) 'watch' (slf) or you could relay a message (slf) to your agent program (slf) totally inconspicuous (slf) which would activate the secret actions (slf) or when u type something u allways type, it could substitute it for something else on the fly automatically (slf) or help recondition u as a hax0r/writer/whatev (slf) by just removing things, and punishing u while u do things (slf) or when u type crap, could popup things in anticipation (slf) without actually having to execute anything (slf) like, the operator program (slf) (c) deez nutz (slf) ha ha (slf) ) (slf) :) (slf) i think the perl shell is a played out idea (slf) the perl bitstream however, sounds juicy! (slf) like i could say 'email everything i just said to my journal and my wife' (slf) and it would just happen (slf) and it would know based on the average delay time between two major events vs. noise events (slf) u could just like, talk (slf) u wouldn't have to talk to it (slf) im pretty exhausted (slf) *yawn* unix statistics 101 Posted by [1450]slf on Wed Feb 09 2005 22:43 ([1451]got somethin to say?) ([1452]Link) 22:13 (Code_Dark) shit guys, whats that command 22:13 (Code_Dark) for system stats? 22:13 (Code_Dark) linux 22:13 (Code_Dark) fuck im TOTALLY blanking 22:13 (Code_Dark) argghhh 22:15 (Code_Dark) oh nm 22:15 (Code_Dark) dmesg 22:15 (Code_Dark) rofl 22:30 (slf) dmesg 22:30 (slf) top 22:30 (slf) procinfo 22:30 (slf) vmstat 1 22:30 (slf) lsof -i -n | grep LISTEN 22:30 (slf) lsof 22:30 (slf) ps auxfw 22:31 (slf) and strace -p PID 22:31 (slf) or strace -p PID 2)&1 | grep open 22:31 (slf) free 22:31 (slf) df 22:31 (slf) uptime 22:31 (slf) w 22:32 (slf) last -30 22:32 (slf) tail -f /var/log/messages /var/log/syslog 22:32 (slf) less /var/log/messages [and then hit F to follow, control-C, w to back up, space to go down] 22:35 (slf) fuser fuser /root 22:35 (slf) or lsof | grep /root 22:36 (slf) ooh ooh, ask me for a unix command for every letter of the alphabet ;) 22:36 (slf) *bow* 22:38 (slf) oh, and uh cat /proc/interrupts 22:39 (slf) oh and i think: vmstat 1 | perl -pe '$time = time; s/^/$time: /' 22:40 (slf) or if you dont like epoch seconds: vmstat 1 | perl -pe '$time = `date`; chomp $time; s/^/$time: /' food for thought Posted by [1453]slf on Wed Feb 09 2005 21:41 ([1454]got somethin to say?) ([1455]Link) Are YOU swallowing it? Then don't tell me how to chew it. ..slf ps: 1$ chili + chili cheese fritos = grubbin 1 turntable needle Posted by [1456]slf on Wed Feb 09 2005 21:21 ([1457]got somethin to say?) ([1458]Link) 19:30 (slf) Then I'm gonna go bust out the Journeys Dark Trance track. 19:30 (slf) and bump the SHIT out of it 19:30 (slf) ya i need it in the air 19:33 (slf) hope that shit aint too dusty 19:33 (slf) heh 19:33 (slf) i gotta copy the track 19:33 (slf) before i wear it out 19:33 (slf) haha 19:33 (slf) ;) one of a kind 19:33 (slf) worth every emotion 19:33 (slf) gongs 19:34 (slf) and evil breakdowns 19:34 (slf) its the bomb 19:34 (slf) like martial arts the last battle music 19:34 (slf) just like this 19:34 (slf) ooooh-ooo-------oooh-ooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOO 19:36 (slf) HAHAHA 19:36 (slf) Heyyyyyyyyyyy... wait a minute. 19:36 (slf) he took the needles 19:36 (slf) FUCK U JOHN 19:36 (slf) Haha 19:36 (slf) the needles, the leatherman, the 512m ram 19:37 (slf) Man. 19:37 (slf) I need to go to guitar center 19:38 (slf) stat! 19:38 (slf) haha 19:38 (slf) brb 20:35 (slf) what a punk 20:35 (slf) he sold me the needle 20:35 (slf) without an arm 20:35 (slf) bitch 20:35 (slf) i built the fuckin thing to be like WHERE THE REST OF THE PIECES BE AT? 20:35 (slf) here i go 21:14 (slf) they gave me the arm for free 21:14 (slf) holy crap 21:14 (slf) *AND* i called back to make sure to tell them that if he was in trouble over that for any reason that I'd rather save up the money and pay them for what it was worth 21:14 (slf) because it was an honest mistake. 21:15 (slf) So I still had his back even after he did that to me and I got hooked up 21:15 (slf) walked out with one complete needle kit for 25$ 21:15 (slf) actually wasn't a piece of shit either 21:15 (slf) ballpoint tip 21:15 (slf) who knew? edonkey pro vs the free version Posted by [1459]slf on Wed Feb 09 2005 18:42 ([1460]got somethin to say?) ([1461]Link) (Chrisnsd) Is there any difference between eDonkey pro ($20) and the free version? (slf) yes, you lose 20$ the neighbors Posted by [1462]slf on Wed Feb 09 2005 18:41 ([1463]got somethin to say?) ([1464]Link) (slf) they're all collectively talking shit its cracking me up still (slf) because they hear me typing (slf) i am growing powerful (slf) how do i rate limit this shit anyway? (slf) i have pretty good hearing (slf) because i'm focusing on the screen (slf) i dont have 100% in both my ears (slf) but i have a good sensitivity logical reconstruction algorithm (slf) and a probability assessment (slf) i hear the signatures in the hearts when they speak words (slf) directed at me (slf) which i recognize (Chrisnsd) I'm going to find the loudest keyboard ever and send it to you. ;) (slf) now i'm bumping atmosphere 'a city of fools' to the whole parking lot (slf) eat it (slf) bitches (Chrisnsd) lol (slf) this is a pretty powerful fuck you. (slf) actually. (slf) im playing snoop & juvenile's freestyle next (slf) BOP BOP BOP BOP BOP, that was happenin! (slf) BOP BOP BOP BOP BOP, that's for laughin! (slf) haha (slf) watch (slf) IM FROM THE GHETTO, WHERE SHIT ACTUALLY HAPPENS (slf) haha:) (slf) aint it leet? (slf) i'm so beautiful they'll never defeat me. (slf) fuckers. (slf) i can controll their mind in these 2-3 songs ;) (slf) ha ha (slf) sick. (slf) that was beautiful. (slf) now to lloyd banks ft. fabolus & brandyy - killin me (slf) and then to breathe (slf) I hear them saying "Damn." (slf) either directly below me (slf) or the vatos in the parking lto' (slf) or the vato who lives 1d1e (slf) heh (slf) ;) (slf) im kinda like a latinya (slf) allways walkin around here with a red esdjco "1200" hat (slf) ;) (slf) backwards (slf) respect, gracias! (slf) tabien! tabien! (slf) mucho bueno pinche (slf) current status. (slf) thats next. (slf) none of these people play any music. (slf) its funny. (slf) i know they want to say something too (slf) I just dont want any of them to have what hapepned to me happen to them, (slf) call me an asshole. (slf) LOVE YO PELE (slf) shit ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group question of the day Posted by [1465]slf on Wed Feb 09 2005 15:56 ([1466]got somethin to say?) ([1467]Link) I've had a lot of shit happen in the past 24 hours. the truth is coming out. [1468]Read More... (20 comments) nothing to see here people come on now MOVE ALONG Posted by [1469]slf on Wed Feb 09 2005 13:02 ([1470]got somethin to say?) ([1471]Link) There's nothing to see here people. Come on now, MOVE ALONG. I mean it. There is absolutely nothing of value in this journal, at all, whatsoever. Go away! HAHA [1472]Read More... (1 comments) this is the reason I didn't buy into your INSTITUTIONS Posted by [1473]slf on Wed Feb 09 2005 12:47 ([1474]got somethin to say?) ([1475]Link) These are the reasons I didn't buy into your INSTITUTIONS! I wasn't brainwashed! I wasn't conditioned! ..slf nothing is denied Posted by [1476]slf on Wed Feb 09 2005 12:44 ([1477]got somethin to say?) ([1478]Link) Nothing is denied to the string theorist!!! Nothing is impossible, you just haven't figured out HOW yet! Imagine it!! ..slf radical computational EVERYTHING Posted by [1479]slf on Wed Feb 09 2005 12:43 ([1480]got somethin to say?) ([1481]Link) I feel like a radical computational linguist! I observed an infant spider: left 90 degrees forward uturn forward right 90 degrees forward derivitevely changing itself but so close to a simple formula!!! good luck little spider!!!! ..slf forbidden inciteful mutinous information is the most delicious Posted by [1482]slf on Wed Feb 09 2005 12:39 ([1483]got somethin to say?) ([1484]Link) The information I now have is far more forbidden and far more dangerous than the jukebox that hunts for its own music. Instantly, I can turn the whole world against me by putting it out there. I have to do this. ..slf I have so much work to do Posted by [1485]slf on Wed Feb 09 2005 12:33 ([1486]got somethin to say?) ([1487]Link) I have so much work to do! I must keep being in the thick of it all, I must keep suffering, I must keep wondering, I must keep dreaming, I must keep sampling! Dont even bother trying to comprehend me completely Posted by [1488]slf on Wed Feb 09 2005 12:31 ([1489]got somethin to say?) ([1490]Link) My head hurts just thinking of all the information and variables and algorithms and thousands(??) of threads that are working in harmony, I could just imagine how hard some of these concepts must be to comprehend. I am so sorry, if I could give you everything I had in one Word I would. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group My gift is that I can see patterns Posted by [1491]slf on Wed Feb 09 2005 12:30 ([1492]got somethin to say?) ([1493]Link) My gift is that I can see patterns in observed sample information. Which I can give to you. I am 85 to 90 percent finished with my rap string theory formula Posted by [1494]slf on Wed Feb 09 2005 11:47 ([1495]got somethin to say?) ([1496]Link) * slf queue's atmosphere's "a city of fools" (slf) SOMETIMES ITS DIFFICULT TO STAY QUIET! (slf) HAHAHA! (slf) I really gotta give him a hug someday (slf) i owe this man so much (slf) havent even met hinm (slf) him (slf) i dont care if he kicks my ass immediately following said hug (slf) it'd be worth it (wzl) krzee.. msg the wzl (wzl) thx (slf) hair, stare, air.. (slf) glare.. (slf) Slug..... (slf) I am seeing your string theory at work (slf) Giggle... (slf) hey wait a minute, I didn't put the most-popular-vowel thing on my code directory? (slf) rap is a formula of emphasizing vowels (slf) or sounds (slf) or returning to the same subject in a related context (slf) or ending the sentence in an A sound (slf) and then doing an E sound (slf) and an E sound (slf) and returning to an A sound (slf) in musical composition context. (slf) EAT ME (slf) ! (slf) RRRRRRRRRap uRRRRRRRr ass off u poseRRRRRR (slf) suckah (slf) bring mE bluE pagEs (slf) muwahah (slf) muwahAhAhA (slf) RESTS are RESTS (slf) look at the most common vowel (slf) or listen to ludacris rap (slf) or listen to slug do it (slf) or *anybody* (slf) SNOOP (slf) mac dre (slf) they all follow the law of this formula (slf) 100% (slf) SNAPS! (slf) ;) * slf affixes his honorary ghetto wings on his shoulder (slf) some of these rappers just made it so goddamn easy (slf) for me to see (slf) some made it harder (slf) but i kno all the tactics now (slf) and i'm gonna make those ghetto childrens feel like the idiot savants they are (slf) string theory is GREATHER than math (slf) Acrobats, pAck a mAck, shAck Attack, (slf) weAther now (slf) MUWAHAHAHA (slf) I wonder if someone will let me publish a book entitled Rapping for Programmers (slf) REVENGE OF THE NERDS! MUWAHAHA! (slf) It's all math to me! (slf) I mean.... string theory! (slf) Juggling A sounds to I sounds, to A sounds to E sounds!!@#!@#!!@#!@# (slf) using emphasis to end the measure!!! (slf) !! (slf) Should I mathematically deconstruct every song in http://enraptured.dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107673458 (slf) ?? (slf) I hate cocky pompous institutionalized rappers as much as I hate corporations or churches or schools (slf) GIMMIE THE MATH, I DUNNA WANNA GITIT FROM U BITCHES! (slf) What U think this is, Microsoft?! (slf) Road ahead? AHHAHA more like the Rail behind. (slf) you fools are as evil as copyright! I'm gonna open source your entire damn industry, fuckers, you better run, and you better run and hide! SCREW HOLLYWOOD AND SCREW MOTOWN U let the streets down and the streets are gonna TAKE YOU OUT! I cant believe I can actually open source rap. What the fuck is that? (slf) I just emailed the nostarch press guy (wzl) anyone know where krzee is (slf) about open sourcing rap. (slf) haha (slf) can you imagine an orieley-esque book on rapping? (slf) Perl for Rappers (slf) haha (slf) that shits killin me (hMz) haha (hMz) Would it have a gorrila as the animal? (slf) Rapping for Programmers (hMz) maybe a grizly (slf) GRRR! (slf) ;) (slf) tongue like a razor blade (slf) mouth is flapping too (slf) thr33 on3 thr33 wh3r3 i morgag3 my t33v33 (slf) U FEEL ME? (slf) er.. (slf) u f33l m3? (slf) ;) (slf) come on! Haxors got this shit down! (slf) br1ng 1t! (slf) flowin is alot similar to talking like a 13 year old on irc Ok so it is a combination of the formula put through a tactic policy spread out over a delay policy integrated and correlated to the tactic policy. (slf) please god dont cheat me out of this, i see it so clearly (slf) If I can write a piece of AI that can generated flows (slf) then creativity is in question (slf) giggle.... (slf) so many doors open (slf) I see the relation of the words and the phrases during generation (slf) Related in context (slf) Like I could write the recipie book on it (slf) And I could definitely turn something loose with the rules (slf) multithreaded, in a way to generate new recipies based on the sample -:- You have new email. -:- You have new email. -:- You have new email. -:- You have new email. -:- You have new email. -:- You have new email. (hMz) dude you're a mad man. (hMz) flowmaker.pl (hMz) is in your future! -:- You have new email. (slf) hells yes homey (slf) im gonna make every rapper on the face of the planet feel liek an autistic kid or a kid with asbergers syndrome (slf) or that they got a GED in string theory (slf) I can convert and turn every poet on the face of the planet, every programmer on the face of the planet, every person with any passion, any philosopher, INSTANTLY into someone with the keys to the universe (slf) in a way that will make them feel like genuises for something they didn't have a fucking word for yet (slf) just like the turtle. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group the pattern within the pattern Posted by [1497]slf on Tue Feb 08 2005 23:05 ([1498]got somethin to say?) ([1499]Link) (slf) if the turtle (spirograph/repeatable cellular automation/life program), the leaf, the ripple, the cells of living things (insects animals amoeba, etc) and the human stem cell, and the universe all operate on the same principle, Why not time as well? # 9:42pm ..................1..................1.....................1.............1.......................... # .........2.............................1.....................................1..11312112111242.111.. # ......111.1.2441.1122314......1......1..1..1..1124611245......111.1.346228.....1......211..124611245 # 9:44pm .......21.1124612144.....1......211..d11245.......211d11244.....1......211..d11245......1111d264.... # 9:47pm .1.....1.1.111481129......11111.c11244.....1.....1111d11245......11111.d1244..1........1111d2245.... # 9:49pm ..1121.c11245...........11114116213111.14....1..31231.11368..............131..12471343......13.1p... # 9:52pm .............14.p......1t...........14.p......14.p...........14.p.....1.4.p...............1.22243.41 # 9:55pm 1244.....1.2112.....131.62243.....1...1..21345211235...1.21121124322.1.1131....1....1..1212211.23132 # 9:57pm 221.111.....1..222431.3264.........1..21124711244....1..2224711244......1.....2112472244....1..21112 # 9:59pm 3161.1..21241........1...21111.11281244....1....247112112431..............1....11133161c...1...4.p.. # 10:02pm .......1...s1....1....4.12411222218...........11.112471111341..1...4.1.211247115.....1.......t...1.. # 10:04pm .4.o.....1..1...t...1......4........p........1...t...1...4.p........1...h.c...1...4.p........1...t.. # 10:08pm .1...4.p........1...t...1...4.p...........1...t...1...4.p........1...t...1...4.o.....1..1...t...1... # 10:12pm 4.o.....1..1...t...1...41.n.....2......t...1...41n....1...1.....t...1...4.o....1...1...t...1...4.p.. # 10:17pm ......1...t...1...4.p.....1......t...1...4.p...........1...4.5.k..1....41o.........1...4.p...1...4.p # 10:21pm ........1...4.p...1...41o........1...4.p..1....4.p........1...t..1....4.o.....1..1...u.......5.n.... # 10:25pm .2......q1.11....1....11.11..11.2.21..1..111d.....1..1...e......1...............1................... [this is a visualization of the delay between a sequence of events] # 03:07am .................11...........1.b........................1....a.........2...1.............a......... 9 # 03:08am .........1..1.3..........1..C.C.111.111.1111.1C1121111111.1C.1.1111.111.21C11111.1111111C1.111.111.. 61 # 03:20am 1.111.C11111.1111.111C.12.1111.12.C.111.d11111.1111.111C.C.1.1111.111.111C11111.1111.111C.Cr.1111111 78 # 03:36am .112C211.11111.21C11C.111.111111.1...1C11111.1111.11C.C.11.1111.111.11C1211.1111.111C.1.111.1111.111 78 # 03:52am C111211111.11C1.1..11.111.1111.C11111.1111.111C11.111.1111.1C11111.112.111C.11.111.21.111C12111.111. 81 # 04:08am 12u.C..111.1111.12.C21111.111.111C11C.12.111221C11112.211.11C.2C11111.111.11C11.1.1.1.1121.1C..111.1 76 # 04:28am 111111C21111.111111CC.511.1211111.C12111.1121.1C.1111.1111.11C111111.1111.11C.1C.112.21112C.11111.12 84 # 04:45am 1.11j.C1.12.21112.C11121.11111.1C.11.1111111.11C12111.1111.11C.C.11111111.111C111111.1111.2C1111.111 82 # 05:04am 1.111.C111111.11111.C..C..1.e.111.112.111.1C5.21111112111.1C..C..C..r11.211111.11C5.f.112111211.C..C 72 # 05:18am 5.v11C5.y1.111.111.211C11111..1.131.1C111.1211111C.1211.11..1.11..C.221112.11C.1121.11111.1C.C..1111 75 # 05:36am .111121C211111111.1C1111.111.1111.x11p.11111.21111C.k.111.111.11111C.11111.11111.1C.11111.111.21C.11 82 # 05:52am 112.1111.1C..2111111111C...11111.11211.C.111.1111.111.1C.11212111.1C.11.111.211.1C.11111.11111.1C.C. 77 # 06:12am .111.112.111.C.12111.11111.C..1111.211111C.2111.11111.1C.s.1111.111.1111.C.1111111211C11C.21.111.121 77 # 06:28am .1C12111.1111.1CC1.1111111.21C.2.111111.1111.1C.1311112C.21111.1111.1C11C1112.1111.1C.111111.11111.C 82 # 06:46am .C.11.11112111C.111211121C..1111.21.1111C.12.111.2.111.C.x.111.1111.1111.C.211111111.1C.11.1111.1111 77 # 07:04am .1C.111111.112.1C.1.121.1111.11C.6111111.1111.1C..111.1111.111.C.1121111111.C.111.1111.111.8.C1.1111 76 # 07:21am 1.2.3.C.C.1112.211.11C111111.11111.C.112111111C.1h.211111.112C.C.111.112.111.1C.11111212.C.2.211111. 78 # 07:40am 2C1..1.1.11111111C1.111.1111.111C.j121124C.1111111.111.1C.11111.1112C.221.111111C111111112.1C.C1.111 81 # 08:01am 1.111C1116C.111.111.1111.1C12111.113.C.C.1.2112.3.111C1.2.1111.1111C1.111.1111.111.C12.111.11111.C.1 77 # 08:22am 11111111.2C.v.2.111.11111.C.1.112111111C1.2.11111111.C1.CC1.1111.111.111C1.2.211.121.C.C1.111.111.11 77 # 08:37am 11.C1.2.1111.112.C1.C11.1111.1111.1C1.2.11111.1111C.C.1112.2211C12.12.2111.C.1111211.111C1.2.1121.11 77 # 08:54am 11C11C.211111.211m.C111.11111.1111C.12111112.C1.2.11111.1111C.1121111.111C111212.1111C.C1.111.111111 84 # 09:14am 1.C1.21111112.C111111.1..1.2.C.2.11111.1111C.C.1.121.111.21C12.11111.1111C1111CC.111.1111.1111C12.11 78 # 09:31am 111.1111C1C.112111.111.1t.C1.2.111111111C.11111.111.111C12.11111.111.C..111.11111.11C111.11111.1111C 81 # 09:47am .C.111.11111111C111121112C11C11.1111.111.11y1.C111.111111.111C.C..121111111C111.21111111C31.21221C8. 86 # 10:07am 1C.121.11211f.C11211111111C12.111.1111.C1111112.1111C11.3121.11C111.2.11111.1u.C..365.29.11o........ 75 # 10:25am 1......................1.1.2...C..1...........1...................21...........................1.... 10 [the number on the right is the count of the number of Gaps between the sequences] Stop making me repeat myself. Its pissing me off. Posted by [1500]slf on Tue Feb 08 2005 22:26 ([1501]got somethin to say?) ([1502]Link) unconditional love is 100% brotherly love is 100% universal love is 100% faith is 100% believing in someone is 100% connecting with god is 100% - surrendering to gods plan brotherly love and unconditional don't mix. anything less than 100% and these things are no longer what they are, and these connections are severed or half duplex, superficial, or doomed to fail. Stop making me repeat myself. Its pissing me off. ..slf I have had enough of your blindness for tonight thank you Posted by [1503]slf on Tue Feb 08 2005 22:22 ([1504]got somethin to say?) ([1505]Link) You did giggle when I told you I was going to call him at 10-11pm his time though. Your subconcious wanted to believe. But your goddamn analytical overlay of your concious mind kept you from it. But you did giggle. You better not have been lying to me when you said "it felt right" to concieve me around june 15th 1980. WHY THIS GODDAMN BIRTHDAY? WHY??????? and dad, if you had any ambitions of fucking with my spiritual destiny then you need to step up and admit the damn reason. Because if you both were innocent and didn't know then there is great signifigance there is great signifigance to grandpa john's association. And if you don't understand it, I pray you will some day. enlightenment is not crazy. some would take what I have out of fear or misunderstanding. I pray the two people who brought me into this world would not be on that list. Pay attention. You see, I know. You hear, I know. ..slf you sure fooled me Posted by [1506]slf on Tue Feb 08 2005 22:14 ([1507]got somethin to say?) ([1508]Link) I am not a fool anymore, anyway. Had to learn all those lessons in life the hard way. ..slf she thinks I need INTERVENTION and I think she needs UNDERSTANDING Posted by [1509]slf on Tue Feb 08 2005 22:11 ([1510]got somethin to say?) ([1511]Link) Don't be such a damn know-it-all. if your point of view doesn't stand on its own two feet and you have no credible backing then don't put your foot in your mouth. What the fuck didn't you understand when I said my glass of faith is overflowing now? Stop fucking deceiving me because you haven't been honest. I love you and I forgive you. You asked me once for this type of advice and I am giving it to you. You need to listen to me a little more often. I have information for you now. And if you are going to insult me when I begin to share I am going to stop sharing. Sigh. You pretty much acused ME of lying to you after you disclosed the single most important piece of information THAT YOU KEPT FROM ME! you may not understand the value of that information but I do I AM NO FOOL! ..slf [1512]Read More... (1 comments) you can't be that dense Posted by [1513]slf on Tue Feb 08 2005 22:04 ([1514]got somethin to say?) ([1515]Link) The way my mom just interacted with me is embaressing. Try practicing unconditional love mom, 100%, just once before you or I die. Please. I'm tired of explaining it to you in words and phrases you would understand. I shouldn't have even called you back. Ever heard of the phrase "benefit of the doubt"? I am ashamed to talk to you the way we do. You really have never provided an alternative. ..slf hahah - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1516]slf on Tue Feb 08 2005 18:13 ([1517]got somethin to say?) ([1518]Link) Spambusters bitch! Ha ha ha ..slf [1519]Read More... (1 comments) haha the pizza tornado swept thru here Posted by [1520]slf on Tue Feb 08 2005 18:02 ([1521]got somethin to say?) ([1522]Link) Pizza's kew brotha! But DAMN! My door, the closet, the hall closet, the floor, the elevator?! the elevator downstairs, the floor downstairs, and the landlady's office door?! How much pizza u think we need?!?! Haha! :) like a pizza tornado swept thru here, shit yo ..slf before the interview Posted by [1523]slf on Tue Feb 08 2005 17:58 ([1524]got somethin to say?) ([1525]Link) I have a really good feeling about this one. I got 9 crew neck tshirts (3 per pack) at 2.49$ - talk about a deal! Bought a pack of socks. Armored the burglary alarm protection sentinel covering my house and my parking space. Video movies are being transmitted offsite and I am being notified, if I do not receive the notification that notification is escalated to my backup contacts. So my bases are covered. I went to get a haircut from the lady who cut my hair before my last family court appearance, as she shaped my appearance in the image of the story unfolded. I ate lox and cream cheese on an onion bagel. I spoke with L and left a message for C thanking them for their support and their 100% prayers. ..slf my reflection does me justice - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1526]slf on Tue Feb 08 2005 13:48 ([1527]got somethin to say?) ([1528]Link) Interesting, no? ..slf a vision in my dreams Posted by [1529]slf on Tue Feb 08 2005 02:06 ([1530]got somethin to say?) ([1531]Link) I had a vision in my dreams of a posability I was bolted awake again close now I am afraid to say what and why ..slf i really mean it Posted by [1532]slf on Mon Feb 07 2005 22:58 ([1533]got somethin to say?) ([1534]Link) she doesn't need a man to make her feel good about herself, it has to come from within. she doesn't need family to feel secure about herself, that has to come from within. she doesn't need drugs, or cheap thrills, or revenge, or laughs at the expense of others. they're all fantasies. SWEET DREAMS PRINCESS I HOPE YOU WAKE UP! she literally lives in a fantasy Posted by [1535]slf on Mon Feb 07 2005 22:56 ([1536]got somethin to say?) ([1537]Link) she literally lives in a fantasy. that girl is my twin soul. i pray she wakes up from that nightmare. i pray she realizes the truth. i curse her to do the right thing. sweet dreams Posted by [1538]slf on Mon Feb 07 2005 22:54 ([1539]got somethin to say?) ([1540]Link) sweet dreams princess, i hope you wake up. from earlier and is worth documenting Posted by [1541]slf on Mon Feb 07 2005 22:34 ([1542]got somethin to say?) ([1543]Link) (slf) damnit (slf) i am so exhausted (slf) couldn't wake up from 2am yesterday until now (slf) ;) (slf) and now i gotta go bust into my own car (slf) so i can get to the doctor (slf) weak (amnesia) stay off the horse (slf) theres somethin wrong with me ;) (slf) this cold (slf) its really fucking with my fatigue (slf) its really hard to work up enough energy to get out of the house (slf) i gotta do it all at the last minute (slf) i am dying (slf) because of this cold (slf) my apt is @ 315pm (slf) here goes nothin (hMz) slf: coathanger (hMz) you mentioned having an old honda civic? (hMz) coathanger works every time (amnesia) or just find a mexican, those bastards can get into anything (slf) holy shit (slf) i have so much love for the mexicans (slf) I just had a powerful coincidence (slf) god smiles upon me (slf) we got skeelz! (slf) hahehehahha (slf) an angel swooped outta the sky to save me (slf) through my mexican neighbor (slf) belief is 100% (slf) and i threw the coathangers up 3 floors (slf) to the guy who loaned them to me (slf) and he caught them (slf) and i threw them right (slf) 100% belief (slf) and it worked! (slf) it fucking worked! (slf) just do it = 100% (slf) :) (verse) are u spun slf (slf) try != 100% (slf) no (slf) i am enlightened (verse) from what (slf) adrennaline (slf) accomplishment (slf) brotherly love (verse) explain what happend? (slf) feeling like my neighbors got my back (slf) and that god has a plan (slf) and god protects (slf) i am currently "Starting to Believe" (slf) like neo from the matrix (slf) and my spiritual destiny because of my birthday (slf) and because of all this freemasonry crap (slf) I am walking a very special path (slf) and now its time to go to the doctor to get the antibiotics to stop me from dying (slf) because i have alot of next episodes (verse) lol u are nuts (slf) i went out there (slf) i am what i eat ;) (slf) i drink honey too u kno (slf) GRRR (slf) ;) (slf) thank u verse (slf) u got a place in my heart too yo (slf) ur very name opens the door (verse) lol (slf) mac dre's feelin myself is very appropriate (slf) i dig the mexican mafia (slf) cause they'll run and die forya (slf) and cause i feel like a westcoast badboy ;) (slf) 100% nigga (slf) no doubt (slf) "I'm from the ghetto, where shit Actually HAPPENS" (amnesia) quiet (slf) cackle. (slf) nerd (hMz) the hood (hMz) hehe (hMz) no one mobs a treo in the hood (hMz) g (hMz) that'd be like verse running through compton with a mp3 player! (slf) best thing i ever did (slf) best thing i ever did (slf) i gotta go chill with the mexicans out in front of home depot (slf) and say whazzup (slf) i accept all peoples (slf) i got their back wether im gonna see them again or i've never met them yo (slf) they got more heart than most (slf) and anybody who knocks it is blind as fuck (slf) superficial goggles (slf) if ya cant beat em, join em (slf) fer reals (slf) im no wannabe, i'm a gonnabe (slf) i do this for fun (slf) because I CAN (slf) that friend could be my future [copped the line..] (slf) and yes, ya'll do have me crazy (slf) and thats the way it aughta (slf) i got a frigging unlimited wealth of spiritual credibility right now (slf) and that is the lottery god affords me (slf) in the semi-immortal words of mc hammer, haha.... u cant touch this (slf) go ahead gimmie somethin else to beat u on -:- SignOff amnesia: #IRCpimps (ircN 7.27 + 7.0 for mIRC (2002/01/10 00.00)) (slf) thats right mufucka (slf) submit (slf) ok, to the doctor. (slf) l8 (slf) #ircpimpin #irchoin and #ircdoggin (slf) ha ha (slf) ;) (slf) [mac dre would laugh at that] (slf) if he only knew (Code_Dark) slf: you scare my so, so much. wake up from the nightmare my love Posted by [1544]slf on Mon Feb 07 2005 22:29 ([1545]got somethin to say?) ([1546]Link) (slf) *giggle* (slf) "Would you mind telling her I just got a job via email because she is starting to believe in me? Mark my words, grasshopper, Stay away. She doesn't love you." (slf) To her toy.. (slf) Haunting words. :) (slf) earlier I sent "I gave Sarita my word I would never call you again. God will punish you if you meddle in our affairs and you will suffer greatly. 100% is 100%" (slf) which is why he called her (slf) mua ha ha (verse) slf (slf) I'll get her back. (verse) u are mad! (slf) I am PATIENT! :) (verse) lol (slf) http://dreamscape.org/code/tdpc-color is really useful btw (slf) hehe. (slf) its neat to see signature letter encodings of a sequence of events (slf) stretched out over time (slf) i am a genius of string theory (slf) the nature of the universe (slf) math is for white collar institutionalized pussies (slf) string theory is where shit really happens (slf) no secrets are denied to me (slf) the turtle, the leaf, the cell (slf) the intangible. (slf) a pattern within a pattern (slf) true sight. (slf) i understand the damn algorithm of algorithms (slf) () set me free (slf) *giggle* (slf) she just called me to ask me to stop msg'ing her man (slf) *giggle* (slf) HAHAHAHAHA (slf) stop being a chess piece princess (slf) checkmate bitch (slf) bring it (slf) ;) (slf) I am *SO* under her skin its driving her mad (slf) its her turn to self-doubt (slf) results speak for themselves (slf) she is my twin soul (slf) only she hasn't woken up from the nightmare I ask you to persecute me Posted by [1547]slf on Mon Feb 07 2005 20:42 ([1548]got somethin to say?) ([1549]Link) I ask you to persecute me. I ask you to attack me. I ask you to battle me. I ask you to try and harm me. I ask you to falsely accuse me. I ask you to wrongly wrong me. I ask you to laugh at me. I ask you to misunderstand me. I ask you to mislabel me. I ask you to make me whatever you want me to be. I ask you to betray me. If you strike me down I will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine. when I believe in you Posted by [1550]slf on Mon Feb 07 2005 20:16 ([1551]got somethin to say?) ([1552]Link) When I believe in you, I believe in you 100% and nothing will ever change that. ..slf unconditional love Posted by [1553]slf on Mon Feb 07 2005 20:14 ([1554]got somethin to say?) ([1555]Link) I love Sarita unconditionally, 100% I love my son Orion unconditionally, 100% I love friends brotherly, 100% I love strangers universally, 100% I love god faithfully, 100% ..slf oh yeah the other secret Posted by [1556]slf on Mon Feb 07 2005 19:28 ([1557]got somethin to say?) ([1558]Link) I stopped masterbating. About a week and a half ago. Heh. Celibacy. Sorry its the gruesome truth. In the words of pragha kahn: I don't need that anymore. ..slf the best medicine Posted by [1559]slf on Mon Feb 07 2005 16:31 ([1560]got somethin to say?) ([1561]Link) Laughter love honor something bigger than yourself for someone for something a cause what's right what'll make someone smile the best medicine ..slf I don't need a doctor to heal a church to talk to god except this time ps: john called me... To threaten me??? hehe the map I didnt need - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1562]slf on Mon Feb 07 2005 16:25 ([1563]got somethin to say?) ([1564]Link) ..slf [1565]Read More... (1 comments) antibiotics on the way yea yea Posted by [1566]slf on Mon Feb 07 2005 16:23 ([1567]got somethin to say?) ([1568]Link) Im really happy I am going to get better and have these antibiotics so I can make the money to see my son ..slf hehe it gets funnier Posted by [1569]slf on Mon Feb 07 2005 16:19 ([1570]got somethin to say?) ([1571]Link) To forget I didn't have matches hehehe. But I got a light. Damn man hehehe what an experience!! ..slf navigating the hospital labrynth Posted by [1572]slf on Mon Feb 07 2005 16:16 ([1573]got somethin to say?) ([1574]Link) Hehe. I tried to find someplace to get food, to find I needed someplace to get money, to end up going to the cafeteria, to end up finding the chapel, to end finding the atm, to end up not having my atm card. Heheheh. Ah well, I dig the architecture. I can wait. ..slf to heal these people in this place of healing Posted by [1575]slf on Mon Feb 07 2005 15:58 ([1576]got somethin to say?) ([1577]Link) I wish there was something I could think or say or do or feel to heal these people especially the children these beautiful wonderful innocents ..slf ps: the dr coincidentally saw me 10 seconds after I wrote my last word on the entry entry to my car was ANOTHER coincidence Posted by [1578]slf on Mon Feb 07 2005 15:18 ([1579]got somethin to say?) ([1580]Link) I couldn't wake up because I woke up just as sick as I did yesterday and I had to bust into my car to get back my key and I looked at it out of survival and I saw the solution out of true sight and I went to get help because I didn't have the strength and I went back down and tried and my NEIGHBOR a different one came to help me and he showed me another solution to the problem and I saw a solution to the puzzle that would have worked and I did it I did it! My neighbor leaned out his window and told me to throw the skewers and the hanger up and I said to him "no no I can't I don't think I can" and he told me "you can do it" and i threw them up to him three floors up and he caught them and I got cocky on the third item and missed and I recognized that and IM STARTING TO BELIEVE and I threw it up there and he caught it and I can never repay him and my neighbor for their help for the gift of once again proving to me that faith and belief are 100 percent they got more heart than most and I got their back somehow someday and I love them and I thank them for helping me survive for giving me the shoulder to lean on and the strength to believe I love you god! ..slf ps: system administration begat system programming which begat system architecture which begat this thing that started to feel like spirituality so wonderful rest now save your strength the doctor will see you now a footnote to the past Posted by [1581]slf on Mon Feb 07 2005 02:10 ([1582]got somethin to say?) ([1583]Link) in light of the new information i learned, i must plug some of my history: http://dreamscape.org/soapbox/ namely the *top* entry regarding the first moment I stepped foot into the grand masonic lodge of california. Isin't that Ironic? :) hmz got the vouchin goin on Posted by [1584]slf on Mon Feb 07 2005 00:26 ([1585]got somethin to say?) ([1586]Link) hey guys you know how i'm allways ranting and allways suffering and you think i'm allways talking to myself dont you think i'd be the perfect person to write flows? [yes] i got more life experiences than i can shake a stick at and enough words to damage thanks hmz :) its happening right now its happening and i'm going to get ahold of and [my friend is a small time rapper] [its a great release] [and if you pick it up] [you can make $$$] no scrill i want to catch everyone up to where i'm at because its lonely with this much knowledge [no doubt no doubt] [but most importantly] [chix dig it] i can tell you what is happening to any pattern you let me observe my friends player hate me because i make their gifts look like a joke my gift is giving gifts maybe i hog the mic on their connection with god their gf's seem to like it thats why i keep getting fuckin screwed [hah] the photos they were afraid i was going to get away with Posted by [1587]slf on Mon Feb 07 2005 00:17 ([1588]got somethin to say?) ([1589]Link) the photos they were afraid i was going to get away with you see i know they thought they had the perfect situation the perfect crime secretly away from scrutiny or accountability i snapped those photos and they had me delete them sure i'll delete them *evil giggle* what is deletion anyway? *evil cackle* they picked the wrong person to fuck with on the definition of the meaning of the word deletion and like a knight of whats right i found the perfect way to get the perfect evidence of the perfect crime like the ultimate ecoli from the ultimate cheeseburger mua ha ha ha ha what it will take Posted by [1590]slf on Sun Feb 06 2005 23:44 ([1591]got somethin to say?) ([1592]Link) I have to get the whole world on my side to get this girl back. That's what it will take. That's what my son and she and I deserve. Anything you can think of to help this process out -- im all ears I see it happening my words are the most powerful thing I have the best remedy if this happened because of a miscommunication the secret weapon in the arsenal I got the communication I got the map to the bunker and the key to the vault we gonna figure out communication 2.0 so it'll be intoxicatingly clear -- I love you ..slf the string theory that I see Posted by [1593]slf on Sun Feb 06 2005 23:27 ([1594]got somethin to say?) ([1595]Link) I see verses connecting to other verses, and lines connecting to other lines in certain ways I see the last word in the pattern relating to something spoken a little later instead of a rhyme or a duet of two things being talked about at the same time or things with intelligent kick patterns applied to intelligent word patterns or imagery patterns OR the last word that is emphasized is returned to a little later getting back to the point or moving to the next word connection I am so excited! I really am starting to see it! Who needs rhyming anyway?!?! I can mathematically (string theory) explain it! Soon now! ..slf No Caller ID Posted by [1596]slf on Sun Feb 06 2005 23:23 ([1597]got somethin to say?) ([1598]Link) I got a phonecall at 1048p that I missed. Didn't get a message but I got my hopes up Sarita called for me. Hope I ask her tomorrow. ..slf adapt or die Posted by [1599]slf on Sun Feb 06 2005 22:16 ([1600]got somethin to say?) ([1601]Link) An individual does not enjoy freedom or law or justice or success or employment How do you prove it? How do you get in the door? It is the brotherhood. The family. The friends. The witnesses. The expert witnesses. The social vouching. The sticking your neck out. The putting yourself between them and the other person. Opening the door. some doors aren't openable by yourself. Your word by yourself just ain't as valuable as it used to be. Adapt or die. Also the one power from robert jordans books neo is "the one" remember the advice the oracle gave him? Do you remember how to embrace the source? How to fight your demons away to embrace the male half? How to embrace both aspects at the same time? Has anyone said to you "so you're the one"? Have you known in your heart (100 percent) someone was "the one"? She is the world to me, to one person. so many double meanings I love her so much I miss her. another coincidence Posted by [1602]slf on Sun Feb 06 2005 21:32 ([1603]got somethin to say?) ([1604]Link) Oh and apparently I am 2 degrees away from Murs and 3 degrees away from Slug. I get to meet or maybe flow with Murs studio style. Wouldn't that be a trip? Clusin was like "Wanna meet him?" ..slf continued Posted by [1605]slf on Sun Feb 06 2005 21:03 ([1606]got somethin to say?) ([1607]Link) analytical overlay is also reservation analytical overlay (reason) reduces faith (belief) handicapping it less than 100 percent and allways doing the right thing is a powerful responsibility and that would also be 100 percent you feel me? ..slf what you need to know Posted by [1608]slf on Sun Feb 06 2005 20:53 ([1609]got somethin to say?) ([1610]Link) Seriously: what you need to know. faith (belief) is 100 percent connection with god is 100 percent love - unconditional love is 100 percent friendship - brotherly love is 100 percent analytical overlay is equal to doubt or speculation or hesitation 100 percent is 100 percent 99 percent is 1 percent short of 100 percent 99 percent is not 100 percent ..slf ANOTHER coincidence Posted by [1611]slf on Sun Feb 06 2005 20:46 ([1612]got somethin to say?) ([1613]Link) That was so damn cool. I trusted my intuition and felt something. And I followed it to the source. And found 5 people. And hung out with them for a minute like snoop dogg. And burned john's bail bond. The piece of paper that got him out. Curse you john to do what's right. ..slf weaving threads - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1614]slf on Sun Feb 06 2005 20:18 ([1615]got somethin to say?) ([1616]Link) ..slf finding the answers Posted by [1617]slf on Sat Feb 05 2005 23:04 ([1618]got somethin to say?) ([1619]Link) [Directions: Bump the fucking shit out of this. Rinse and repeat.] mac dre - lifes a bitch atmosphere - city of fools slug & murs - they don't have this either lloyd banks & brandy - you're killin me (shes a gangster) blu cantrell feat sean paul - breathe ludacris - get the fuck back ludacris - hip hop quotables mac dre - get stupid eminem - bad meets evil jadakiss - freestyle (whoa) chino xl - never atmosphere - city of fools [worth it 2x] obie trice - freestyle (in jail) eminem / 50 cent / busta rhyme - hail mary atmosphere - current status snoop dogg & juvenile - freestyle lloyd banks & brandy - you're killin me [worth it 2x] blu cantrell feat sean paul - breathe [worth it 2x] slug & mars - they don't have this either [worth it 2x] lifesavas - hellohihey truth hurts (feat rakim) - instrumental akon (feat styles p) locked up - instrumental kayne west (jesus walks) - instrumental mac dre - lifes a bitch [worth it 2x] mac dre - feelin myself obie trice - addrenaline rush eminem - amityville cold as ice - instrumental wu tang clan (ghostface killa) - instrumental [earning my wings yet?] eminem (role model) - instrumental tony touch (the piecemaker) - instrumental [aiite let's calm everyone down and land this plane] aphex twin (violin solo) - instrumental [until the next episode] hip hop helped me find god I wrote this playlist immediately preceding my mom confirming my spiritual destiny ..slf cellular automation Posted by [1620]slf on Sat Feb 05 2005 22:52 ([1621]got somethin to say?) ([1622]Link) cellular automation a turtle moving in a repeated pattern makes a spirograph or special structures leaves are based on this principal stem cells are based on this principal all living things come from this principal ..slf you are what you eat right? - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1623]slf on Sat Feb 05 2005 22:50 ([1624]got somethin to say?) ([1625]Link) You are what you eat, right? ..slf new knowledge 2 Posted by [1626]slf on Sat Feb 05 2005 22:47 ([1627]got somethin to say?) ([1628]Link) This new knowledge ends world thirst this new knowledge fills your chasm ..slf this new knowledge Posted by [1629]slf on Sat Feb 05 2005 22:42 ([1630]got somethin to say?) ([1631]Link) This new knowledge fills that chasm This new knowledge overflows that chasm ..slf responsibility Posted by [1632]slf on Sat Feb 05 2005 22:29 ([1633]got somethin to say?) ([1634]Link) I am responsible enough to protect the holy grail. ..slf this aint exactly what I bargained for Posted by [1635]slf on Sat Feb 05 2005 22:01 ([1636]got somethin to say?) ([1637]Link) john..... It is definitely not true love. Magic words of proof per se: "she deserves to be hurt" what the fuck man. Why the fuck is he in my bed eating me out of house and home worse than clusin aint sayin shit like the amazing tree motherfucker I see him as right now she convinced me that it wasn't like what I knew and what my intuitions said I really swear to god I fucking warned her I fucking told her so he isint worth this risk he isint worth this trouble he deserves to be back in fucking jail safely away from these innocent people he doesn't deserve a child he isint responsible he thinks this fucking house is a hotel and that he owns the place and has free rein to look through or at anything in my house HE FUCKING THREATENED ME he has lied to me to my face he has manipulated me to my face YOU AINT MY EQUAL BITCH I FUCKING OWN YOUR BITCH ASS DO YOU REALLY THINK YOUR GETTING MY CHILD VISITATION MONEY FOR *FREE* WITHOUT GIVING ME SOMETHING EQUALLY AS VALUABLE? huh fuckhead? GOODMORNING SUNSHINE do you think im paying your next payment? do you think my food is free? my time is free? my emotions are free? DO YOU THINK I AM PAYING THIS OFF? Ahahahahahahahaha oh no im fucking not motherfucker DO YOU THINK IM PAYING EVEN *HALF*? hell fucking no I GOT YOUR ASS OUT ITS YOUR FUCKING TURN ITS YOUR TIME TO STEP UP and after your first court date I am turning on you if you don't "get it" THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE either you fix everything with ME so I can help you - FIRST - THIS IS YOUR PRIORITY - I aint doin this for you out of the goodness of my heart - i'm doing this to stop you from hurting anymore people or taking anymore lives or you be honest with everyone or you step up and make your own goddamn payments and you pay me my fucking childcare money back immediately OR... I reccomend you get condemned. Which is what you deserve. You don't even consider biting the hand that saves. This aint about feeding. This is about everyone winning and nobody getting hurt. And im gonna get mine before you get yours or else you can get your mom to swap the bond contract right now and you can pay me back my money and go your own fucking way and never talk to me ever again and never mention my name without suffering because YOU ARE THROUGH AND ARENT GOING TO DO YOUR DUMBASS SHIT ANYMORE you aint doin anything right fuckin poser your honeymoon period is fucking over and you don't deserve to be in my fucking presence you worthless fucking excuse for a human being you aint no friend of mine im keeping you closer because you are an enemy to everyone ..slf birthday numerology epiphanies Posted by [1638]slf on Sat Feb 05 2005 21:56 ([1639]got somethin to say?) ([1640]Link) Grandpa john: march 1st. My son: march 10th. Me: march 19th. ..slf epiphanies Posted by [1641]slf on Sat Feb 05 2005 21:50 ([1642]got somethin to say?) ([1643]Link) My father was the president of the northwest steelheaders and with them for over 10 years. I went with him to many meetings over the years. It allways felt like a elks lodge. My own brother doesn't ever speak to me. I thirsted for brotherly love and found the answers. The truth is wonderful and the lies are forgiven. The truth doesn't hurt and the lies didn't scar. ..slf my family secret Posted by [1644]slf on Sat Feb 05 2005 21:41 ([1645]got somethin to say?) ([1646]Link) I was born on 3/19/81 same as sarita, she is 200 minutes after me. I just learned the family secret. I was lied to and this was kept from me because my mom didn't think anything of it. My grandfather (my mom's) was a Mason. A 32 degree mason. And I am a mason. I just didn't know it yet. And so is my son Orion. I am joining the order. ..slf you suck read a book cause you gotta Posted by [1647]slf on Sat Feb 05 2005 16:52 ([1648]got somethin to say?) ([1649]Link) Man she went to him for being a bassist because she was a singer -- she's all like im gonna be a singer secretly watching out for her own secret imagery write your poems I had to see the same point of view and you aint doin anything special I hate to do it but I gotta You suck read a book cause you gotta ..slf How can I show you that you can do anything in life if you put your mind to it? I will follow you into this dream and make it happen. It aint gonna be a nightmare. Never again is it gonna be a nightmare. heh heh heh I got enough heart for all yall Posted by [1650]slf on Sat Feb 05 2005 16:32 ([1651]got somethin to say?) ([1652]Link) if I had to think of the best id have to find a way to leave best -connected to- way to leave I find a way to write but don't complete the sentence and pervert my words and twist my sentence and add crap inbetween the two heh heh heh or write comments inbetween the beat or things related to the words which evoke the most emotion or the most clear meaning or the vaugest meaning or the most double meanings about the person cryptic secret fuck you imagery I got enough heart for all ya'll! ..slf the two songs that really hit the notes right now Posted by [1653]slf on Sat Feb 05 2005 09:33 ([1654]got somethin to say?) ([1655]Link) Slug & Murs - They Dont Have This Either Atmosphere - A City of Fools You really gotta hear these two. You really gotta repeat these two! It must be said Posted by [1656]slf on Thu Feb 03 2005 20:34 ([1657]got somethin to say?) ([1658]Link) I did not want this life I did not want this destiny I did not want this responsibility I did not want this burden but I accept what I must do so that you, person I have never met or will never see again.. So that you can avoid these types of hurts, these pains, This darkness. I hope you reach enlightenment I hope you reach enlightenment in time to make a difference in bringing enlightenment to others and I hope you can appreciate the harder lessons in life without paying dearly for them I hope you can stop history for repeating itself and I hope you can discover those islands and build those bridges and save them while you still can Make the most of it plant those seeds water those plants stop and smell those roses feed those people bring hope where there is none shine light where there is darkness bring darkness where there is light and experience everything I love you - and you don't have to love me back its going to be alright everything is going to be ok and you are going to be amazing and I will allways care about you there are beginnings without endings ..slf I just wanted to be normal my life is devoted to Posted by [1659]slf on Thu Feb 03 2005 20:09 ([1660]got somethin to say?) ([1661]Link) my life is devoted to helping others i can make a difference in the lives of those who listen or those in need and it is all that i have now i gamble in this for one purpose alone i expect nothing i will give the clothes off my back i will traverse into hell to save you even if you are a stranger i will do what it takes to help you i selflessly pray that some day.. that some day... some day someone will do the same for me or more importantly that they would do the same for a stranger i drop these tears in hopes it will someday rain i bleed from these wounds and wear these chains and carry this weight for you, person i have never met persons i will never see again i ask for nothing in return and i love you i hope you some day know the true meaning of the word ..slf ps: my son walked today for the first time i learned of this by telephone pictures are all i have left of him for now To nice guys, honest guys, good guys: do whatever it takes to make those around you happy, treasure every moment and every special gift you are blessed with. Do not be blind to the other half of your coin. Do not only see see 0 and 1 - there are infinite grey areas and you must eat sleep and breathe them. Few things in this life are what they seem at face value. Never stop learning, or trying, or caring, or loving, or cherishing, or honoring. The scum on the surface may be covering up great mystery and you can find bottomless chasms of water that have purity and nobility. Never give up on anyone. Don't believe what you hear. Think for yourself. Love everyone as you would a brother. Not everyone in this life has what you have, or would know what you know or would ever in their lifetime taste what you throw away or take for granted - don't just take a stand - don't just shake a stick - do something - make a difference in everyone and everything and ask for nothing in return - please try and see how this will benefit all things - it may be just a candle and it may just be a pond - it may be just a season - but every little kindness will get everyone a little closer to our great potential - together we are so much stronger than we are capable of being alone - uncover a stone and you will find me follow your dreams - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1662]slf on Tue Feb 01 2005 02:24 ([1663]got somethin to say?) ([1664]Link) ..slf things I want to happen Posted by [1665]slf on Mon Jan 31 2005 19:35 ([1666]got somethin to say?) ([1667]Link) 1) phonecall where I am told 'come on over, forget your troubles, we gonna start a new future for ya' ..slf [1668]Read More... (2 comments) anyone can shake a stick from far away Posted by [1669]slf on Mon Jan 31 2005 19:24 ([1670]got somethin to say?) ([1671]Link) Anybody in this life can shake a stick at you from far away, and anyone can reflect in hindsight what should have happened. And combine the two and you can definitely shake a stick in hindsight. But when is it going to manifest into something that touches the future? ..slf Yes I am allways at the center of chaos Posted by [1672]slf on Mon Jan 31 2005 18:39 ([1673]got somethin to say?) ([1674]Link) Your damn right I'm at the center of chaos. What you see here is the eye of the storm, choose your direction pretty much and meet the same end. :( I just thought I would stop by Posted by [1675]slf on Mon Jan 31 2005 16:14 ([1676]got somethin to say?) ([1677]Link) its driving me mad that I don't have anywhere to go or anyone who would drop in on me or anyone I could call who would stop by. I do NOT have enough human contact to survive. ..slf what do I do Posted by [1678]slf on Mon Jan 31 2005 12:09 ([1679]got somethin to say?) ([1680]Link) I want to move on. But how? ..slf haven't I thought about it enough? Posted by [1681]slf on Mon Jan 31 2005 12:03 ([1682]got somethin to say?) ([1683]Link) Im getting really tired of rethinking my life. I slept all weekend for lack of anything to do and I just don't really know what it is I could do to make a positive difference in everything. I really put my heart into job prospects and I get unavoidably burned on them sometimes for the dumbest reasons. What am I supposed to do with my life? The clock really ran out, I am absolutely flat broke and I don't know where to work or how I am making rent for march. The way its getting setup I'll be homeless here before too much longer. This sucks. This really sucks. ..slf [1684]Read More... (2 comments) I need friends Posted by [1685]slf on Sun Jan 30 2005 05:12 ([1686]got somethin to say?) ([1687]Link) I really need friends. I have slept 85 percent of saterday and friday, pretty much all day. I need somethin to do. Im sick - :( - I got physically ill because of how sarita made me feel I woke up at 4am feeling refreshed like my new day had begun Its 5am. I am haunted by my own brain. There's nothing to do. Everyone is asleep. There's nowhere to go. No one to call. ..slf so cold Posted by [1688]slf on Sat Jan 29 2005 14:51 ([1689]got somethin to say?) ([1690]Link) It is so cold ..slf ill Posted by [1691]slf on Sat Jan 29 2005 14:50 ([1692]got somethin to say?) ([1693]Link) I have become very ill. I cannot sit alone for very long without becoming sick to my stomach. I have had to lie down a lot. ..slf the clock is ticking Posted by [1694]slf on Thu Jan 27 2005 13:59 ([1695]got somethin to say?) ([1696]Link) ---- time is running out ---- i am about to make some choices and decisions which will impact the remainder of my life because i have no remedy, no alternative, and no miracle i am beginning to feel lifeless [1697]Read More... (7 comments) what happens when you wrong me by doing wrong Posted by [1698]slf on Wed Jan 26 2005 15:18 ([1699]got somethin to say?) ([1700]Link) "That for all time I curse upon you a plan for you to see truth to. your ways and how they hurt our way of life. May god have mercy on your soul." charging for the full moon - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1701]slf on Wed Jan 26 2005 00:31 ([1702]got somethin to say?) ([1703]Link) Tonight is special as it is a full moon. To make the most of it, and to accompany some dark magic I must weave, I have placed the following stones in direct moonlight: Red jasper - root chakra - protection from poison Citrine - sacral chakra - boldness, good reproductive health Rose quartz - heart chakra - calmness to draw happiness Clear quartz - clarity / divination, grounding / centering Flourite - grounding / centering Amethyst - crown chakra ..slf I've got proof - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1704]slf on Mon Jan 24 2005 16:46 ([1705]got somethin to say?) ([1706]Link) "I, Sarita James, admit guilt" .. it is a very treasured piece of paper indeed. signature plays - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1707]slf on Sun Jan 23 2005 21:56 ([1708]got somethin to say?) ([1709]Link) that super leet journeys dark melodic track with the gongs all the whitelabels, all the dark energy, all the poetic dark vocal tracks, all the sentimental tracks... And finally after all that emotional outlet, I conclude with a musical and movie metaphor: Nothing lasts forever. ..slf its kindof like giving myself a hug - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1710]slf on Sun Jan 23 2005 21:10 ([1711]got somethin to say?) ([1712]Link) I played every record worth a damn I own, all on this one turntable. These emotional keys are very priceless to me. I am very thankful to hear them.. ..slf stranger things have happened Posted by [1713]slf on Sat Jan 22 2005 16:03 ([1714]got somethin to say?) ([1715]Link) stranger things have happened this is how it worked Posted by [1716]slf on Sat Jan 22 2005 13:21 ([1717]got somethin to say?) ([1718]Link) person #1: who? person #2 - me: the baby's mama. person #1: i'll talk to you later. see how that goes? everything I used to be Posted by [1719]slf on Fri Jan 21 2005 17:31 ([1720]got somethin to say?) ([1721]Link) I miss everything I used to be. ..slf wasting away Posted by [1722]slf on Thu Jan 20 2005 13:02 ([1723]got somethin to say?) ([1724]Link) i waste away in this apartment drowning in the memory of the boy and the mom was in a coma for many days dreaming [1725]Read More... (2 comments) how can this be Posted by [1726]slf on Mon Jan 17 2005 15:57 ([1727]got somethin to say?) ([1728]Link) Hmmmmmmm. The stability of my primary machine is in question but the connection remains. There are 5 seconds of packet transmission spread out acrost 10 minutes (600~ seconds). So 5 seconds worth of traffic (or the system not being screwed up) and then 10 minutes of nothingness. How can this be? (slf) what the fuck would cause this kind of network problems? (slf) 5 packets are transmitted (slf) HOLY crap (slf) its exactly 600 packets from the last difference (slf) one sec (slf) and it was 605 seconds before it (slf) holy shit (slf) every 10 minutes. (slf) what the fuck is that? (slf) my box transmits 5 packets every 10 minutes only? (slf) I'm not there (slf) I hope my house isint going to catch on fire. (slf) the box could have kernel paniced (slf) panicked (slf) and the thermal sensors and the fan controllers could be fucked up (slf) there are way too many fuckin drives in that machine. like i need another machine just to connect this machine to the internet. (slf) damnit. (slf) and the time before that it was 602 seconds 0v3rcl0ck y0ur br3akf4st - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1729]slf on Mon Jan 17 2005 02:32 ([1730]got somethin to say?) ([1731]Link) [1732]spotted here most of the time Posted by [1733]slf on Sat Jan 15 2005 12:58 ([1734]got somethin to say?) ([1735]Link) Most of the time when people get hurt they get WORSE not BETTER right? ..slf i wrote something really clever called detachtty-automation Posted by [1736]slf on Fri Jan 14 2005 13:05 ([1737]got somethin to say?) ([1738]Link) I wrote something really clever called [1739]detach (short for detachtty-automation)... you should take a look at it! # * notable accomplishments: # this hack bypasses TTY/PTY requirements of executed programs # this hack automates SCREEN [imagine automating many things at once!] # this hack automates SSH [previously impossible ala tty hijacking] # this hack automates LINKS/LYNX/W3M [incredibly useful for faking user exp. ] # this hack automates EDITORS [previously very difficult/impossible ] # this hack provides INTERACTIVITY within the wrapper [i see what you see] # this hack AUTOMATICALLY LOGS EVERY KEYSTROKE to ** detach.log ** # [which makes it *really* easy to write scripted automation procedures] # * requirements: # detachtty & attachtty binaries present on your machine keep looking - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1740]slf on Thu Jan 13 2005 12:55 ([1741]got somethin to say?) ([1742]Link) Sometimes in life when you keep looking for something you will find it. ..slf [1743]Read More... (2 comments) is there an end in sight? Posted by [1744]slf on Wed Jan 12 2005 17:43 ([1745]got somethin to say?) ([1746]Link) I have to wonder, is there an end in sight to this madness? party of one - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1747]slf on Mon Jan 10 2005 16:05 ([1748]got somethin to say?) ([1749]Link) /the loner manifesto/ included with a dedication to yours truly. powerful information. thank you. ..slf my tarot reading for the year 2005 Posted by [1750]slf on Sun Jan 09 2005 22:01 ([1751]got somethin to say?) ([1752]Link) Significator: #11 THE WEB weaving, tactically choosing my battles, dream-walking, striking when the time is right, patiently waiting - the spider What I bring to the cycle: THE GAIN divine justice - befriending knights and monsters instrument of my own justice what is right - not what others want of me. mental state - stormy financial state - stable don't make hasty decisions - consider the moments What my block/opposition is: RESOLUTION thank yous! Thanks! You will be happy - but who is to say that today's key will not be tomorrows lock or tomorrows lock todays key. (nizami 12th C) The most influence in 2005: Emotion (REGRET) paving the way for new life - unexpected and rapid change paving the way for new doors to open when doors close. Don't be obstinate! expect the most through emotion ** DIVINE IMPULSE OF CREATION ** Lesson: THE GREEN MAN natural justice druidic raw untamed nature!! ** SURRENDER ** be willing to be ridiculed and persecuted in order to sow seeds of change. Trust your instincts. ** TAKE A LEAP INTO THE DARK ** How best to incorporate your lesson into your life: DEDICATION (THE GREEN MAN) hard work, tremendous effort. Raw talent - discipline - methods - need to polish skills to become teachers. Beneficial Influence: SUFFERING pain makes you grow Outcome for the year: THE HIGH PRIEST unexplained skills & abilities thoughts shape memory perception & future forgive yourself for your mistakes learning to like yourself! animus - male & female aspects complete integration and utilization of the two sources by far the best reading I've ever been given, preaching DIVINE JUSTICE, DIVINE INTERVENTION, NATURAL LAW, DIVINE IMPULSE OF CREATION, DIVINE DELIVERANCE ..slf spiritually fufilled - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1753]slf on Thu Jan 06 2005 17:57 ([1754]got somethin to say?) ([1755]Link) I feel really spiritually fufilled. So many 2 degree moments!! So many good spirits! So wonderful! This place has such catalysm to it. ..slf neat Posted by [1756]slf on Wed Jan 05 2005 15:43 ([1757]got somethin to say?) ([1758]Link) edge - to arrive at the edge of the world's knowledge, seek out the most complex and sophistocated minds, put them in a room together, and have them ask each other the questions they are asking themselves. - http://www.edge.org/archive.html an interesting aggregate, if it were a constantly generated or publicly fished expo. in the spirit of democratic parental governance Posted by [1759]slf on Tue Jan 04 2005 20:33 ([1760]got somethin to say?) ([1761]Link) in the spirit of democratic parental governance. it is the right thing to do. i wish her own mother and my mother and a majority of the 4 parties to have a democratic ability to raise him independant of the inexcusable actions of one of the parties. i am still his father, he still has his two grandmothers. she is still his mother. but in the spirit of preventatively limiting her ability to hurt him ongoingly and while living in silver city new mexico her grandmother should have the ability to override sarita's choices since she will be the responsible party present to be natural law and his protector in my absence as the check and balance this is a major decision in my living will and my firm standing opinion about what is in his best interest while our parties are seperated in this manner and i swear that on this date, january 4th 2005 that i believe this choice is in the best interests of my child and how he is treated and what he is subjected to. unless otherwise revoked i wish this action to be carried out in the event anything should happen to me. i accept the things that i cannot change, and i wish to have this be my lasting influence on the things i can change in the spirit of having the nessicary change choices for my son Posted by [1762]slf on Tue Jan 04 2005 20:12 ([1763]got somethin to say?) ([1764]Link) I would support an action to have both of Orion's grandmothers be dealt into his day to day schedule more and to have Sarita's schedule less so that she can get the help she needs. ..slf the next chapter is making a difference Posted by [1765]slf on Tue Jan 04 2005 16:03 ([1766]got somethin to say?) ([1767]Link) i've already done enough things in life to be remembered by now it's time to make a difference in peoples lives direction - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1768]slf on Mon Jan 03 2005 07:01 ([1769]got somethin to say?) ([1770]Link) ..slf how long were you fuckin him anyway Posted by [1771]slf on Sun Jan 02 2005 05:34 ([1772]got somethin to say?) ([1773]Link) UPDATE: The day before she's supposed to move, dang she certainly didn't waste any time, she got a BF and they've made it very uncomfortable for me to see my son. I cant believe some guy is reaping the procedes of my hard work and hard effort, like a stepping razor. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT! So I hear that she says she is in LOVE with this cat, and ooh he's a BASSIST and shes so IN LOVE with him as if she knew what LOVE meant in the FIRST DAMN PLACE. All I wanted as a child was a stable happy family, this child was concieved in love, we wouldn't have made that decision unless we were willing to take big risks and tackle something where we made a decision to put up with each other for a lifetime for the purpose of raising one amazing baby. And now she's fittin to go move him 20 miles outside of Silver City New Mexico (which is already hardly even considered a town, with only ~10,000 residents) And *THIS* is where my child is to stay? *THIS* IS THE DISTANCE TO MAJOR FACILITIES? 20 miles! This is a MAJOR INJUSTICE which reaks of INSANITY and BETRAYAL chuckle... Posted by [1774]slf on Sat Jan 01 2005 17:33 ([1775]got somethin to say?) ([1776]Link) *chuckle* The person I am right now (after all that) is cool / worksforme. You might not remember who I am or the little things that made up who I was. -- Did you ever stop to look? Sustaining/growing existi ng connections, repairing existing connections, and seeking out new connections - where do you sit balance wise? you said it yourself, "It seems with you somebody's allways gettin dissed." -awhileago So what is the value of an EXISTING CONNECTION? ...would most people agree with you on this? ...are you throwing away a good thing - something that has the potential to bring you good? Your god awful friends somehow got hacked up on the internalization-externalization scale - they completely bumped me out of the internalized water - in a way that overrode our son's destiny. How did this happen? How did you go from [1777]making them to breaking them like it meant absolutely nothing to you? I would NEVER in my entire life impose upon someone elses family at a fragile conjecture such as this Where I come from, people dont do this sorta thing to another person. Where is your concience? Fucking barbarians! Go plunder somebody elses sea. SHE DOESNT KNOW ANY BETTER W/HER EMOTIONAL WANTS AND NOW THREE PEOPLE, NOT ONE SUFFER WHEN SHE MAKES POOR CHOICES NEGATIVELY IMPACTING OUR COLLECTIVE AND PROSPECTIVE AND POTENTIAL STABILITY-- AND YOU (FUTURE SUTOR) ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HER NIAVE INEXPERIENCE AT THE EXPENSE OF A ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY - TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS IF YOU'D STOP DISTRACTING HER DAMNIT - YOU HAVE THE REST OF YOUR LIFETIME TO STEAL HER AWAY FROM ME BUT IS THERE NO GRACE PERIOD OBSERVED OUT OF RESPECT FOR THE YOUNG LIFE WE WERE GROWING? DOES MY SON NOT DESERVE HIS ORIGINAL TWO PARENTS WHO LOVED HIM ENOUGH TO BRING HIM THROUGH WHAT I THOUGHT WAS A MIRACLE ONTO THIS EARTH? DOES MY SON NOT DESERVE TO HAVE HIS REAL BIOLOGICAL FATHER BEING HIS PRIMARY EDUCATOR AND ROLE MODEL? DOES THE DAD NOT DESERVE THE EXPERIENCE? -THAT KID IS AMAZING BECAUSE I HELPED MAKE HIM AMAZING - AND HE WILL ONLY BE LITTLE ONCE, HE WILL ONLY HAVE THIS ONE CHANCE TO BOND WITH HIS REAL FATHER LIKE THIS - HOW CAN YOU TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ALL THREE OF US? EVEN SARITA SHOULD TAKE PART IN THE EXPERIENCE WATCHING ORION AND I BOND FATHER AND SON - I DID NOT GIVE BIRTH TO ORION AND THE ONLY WAY I HAVE TO TAKE PART IN THE PARENTING EXPERIENCE IS THE EXPERIENCE ITSELF WHICH HAS BEEN TERMINATED To The Prospectus Mr Right: How are you NOT taking advantage of her, and him, and me? If you practice the (golden rule) or the (eye for an eye idea) or (code of engagement) on the situation you can see for yourself me personally I am in a righteous fury cloud of deliverance and natural justice. blasted stars Posted by [1778]slf on Fri Dec 31 2004 23:13 ([1779]got somethin to say?) ([1780]Link) Cursed stars I see you most clearly. ..slf the rings came off tonight Posted by [1781]slf on Fri Dec 31 2004 19:39 ([1782]got somethin to say?) ([1783]Link) see subject. ..slf how could you hurt me like this? Posted by [1784]slf on Fri Dec 31 2004 14:40 ([1785]got somethin to say?) ([1786]Link) How could you hurt me like this? dreams with regret Posted by [1787]slf on Fri Dec 31 2004 13:03 ([1788]got somethin to say?) ([1789]Link) i didn't used to dream very often or remember any of my dreams, but the feeling of my life flashing before my eyes in one mega feeling when i wake up is so alarming. i woke up sweating sucking in my breath chilled to the bone waking. i used to be so content with my dreams, i used to be so peaceful hrm - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1790]slf on Fri Dec 31 2004 11:05 ([1791]got somethin to say?) ([1792]Link) ..slf i am haunted by my dreams Posted by [1793]slf on Fri Dec 31 2004 10:35 ([1794]got somethin to say?) ([1795]Link) I am very haunted by my dreams at night. I have bolted awake the past 2 nights very unsettled and uncomfortable. I pray this does not happen indefinitely. :( she called to hurt my feelings Posted by [1796]slf on Thu Dec 30 2004 18:29 ([1797]got somethin to say?) ([1798]Link) she called to hurt my feelings today, she didn't let me read a bedtime story to my kid like she agreed to the day of court and she pretty much gave me the green light to go on out into the world and get laid. its over she says. get over it, she says, move on, she says. lifeless Posted by [1799]slf on Thu Dec 30 2004 12:31 ([1800]got somethin to say?) ([1801]Link) i am lifeless crying myself back to sleep Posted by [1802]slf on Thu Dec 30 2004 05:02 ([1803]got somethin to say?) ([1804]Link) Weak shit. :( ..slf jolted awake by the splinter Posted by [1805]slf on Thu Dec 30 2004 04:46 ([1806]got somethin to say?) ([1807]Link) :( I woke up in the middle of the night again Freaked Out about my son going away. :( ..slf i shouldn't have made that deal Posted by [1808]slf on Wed Dec 29 2004 11:45 ([1809]got somethin to say?) ([1810]Link) i regret my choices yesterday very deeply. the place she's moving to is 6000 ft above ground and will have thinned oxygen problems. the place she's moving to will have less than 10,000 people. the airfare (even calculated many days in advance) is over 400$ for a single person even with tons of advance notice or upwards to 600$.. it is really depresssing. :( ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group i know you Posted by [1811]slf on Tue Dec 28 2004 23:58 ([1812]got somethin to say?) ([1813]Link) I know you You were too short You had bad skin You couldnt talk to them very well Words didnt seem to work They lied when they came out of your mouth You tried so hard to understand the others You wanted to be part of what was happening You saw them having fun Seemed like such a mystery Almost magic You thought that there was something wrong with you You would look in the mirror trying to find the flaw You thought that you were ugly And that everybody was looking at you So you learned to be invisible To look down To avoid conversation The hours, days, weekends The weekend nights Alone Where were you, The basement, the attic, your room? Working some job? Just to have something to do? Just to have a place to put yourself? Just to have a way to get away from them Staying away from the ones That made you feel so strange And ill at ease inside yourself Did you ever get invited to one of their parties You sat & wondered if you would go or not For hours you imagined what might transpire If they would laugh at you If you would know what to do If you would have the right things on If they would notice that you came from a different planet Did you get all brave in your thoughts Like you were going to be able to go in there Deal with it & have a great time? Did you think that you might be the life of the party? That all these people were going to talk to you And you would find out that you were wrong And that you had a lot of friends And you werent so strange after all? Did you end up going? Did they mess with you? Did they single you out? Did you find out that you got invited Because they thought you were so weird? I think I know you You spent a lot of time full of hate A hate that was as pure as sunshine A hate that saw for miles A hate that kept you up at night A hate the filled your every waking moment A hate that carried you for a long time Yes, I think I know you You couldnt figure out what they saw in the way they lived Home was not home Your room was home A corner was home Anywhere they werent That was home I know you Youre sensitive You hide it You fear getting stepped on one more time It seems that when you show a part of yourself That is the least bit vulnerable Someone takes advantage of you One of them steps on you They mistake kindness for weakness But you know the difference Youve been the brunt of their weakness for years Strength is something you know a bit about You had to be strong to keep yourself alive You know yourself very well now You dont trust people You know them too well You try to find a special person Someone you can be with Someone you can touch Someone you can talk to Someone you wont feel so strange around You found that they dont really exist You feel closer to people on movie screens Yea, I think I know you You spend a lot of time daydreaming People have made comment to that effect Telling you that youre self involved & self centered But they dont know, do they About the long night shifts alone About the years of keeping yourself company All the nights you wrapped your arms around yourself So you could imagine someone holding you The hours of indecision Self doubt The intense depression The blinding hate The rage that made you stagger The devastation of rejection Well, maybe they do know But if they do They sure do a good job of hiding it It astounds you how they can be so smooth How they seem to pass thru life As if life itself was some divine gift It infuriates you to watch yourself With your apparent skill in finding every way possible To screw it up For you life is a long trip Terrifying & wonderful Birds sing to you at night The rain & the sun The changing seasons are true friends Solitude is a hard won ally Faithful & patient Yes I think I know you By Henry Rollins from Black Coffee Blues i smile knowing i was the bigger person Posted by [1814]slf on Tue Dec 28 2004 23:11 ([1815]got somethin to say?) ([1816]Link) i sacrificed myself so that everyone but me would be happy i need others to be strong for me i was big for everyone else and i need someone to be big for me now to take care of me now forgiveness Posted by [1817]slf on Tue Dec 28 2004 22:11 ([1818]got somethin to say?) ([1819]Link) our son will never forgive you if something happens to me oh no Posted by [1820]slf on Tue Dec 28 2004 21:25 ([1821]got somethin to say?) ([1822]Link) I got a message that she already has someone in mind and that she has been seeing that person for the past three weeks. She sounded high :( I am afraid I will die from heartbreak the crossing - temporary orders Posted by [1823]slf on Tue Dec 28 2004 19:00 ([1824]got somethin to say?) ([1825]Link) #1 - there is a chance to salvage it after some time #2 - my son moves with sarita to silver city new mexico sometime after newyears. joint legal custody. she gets sole physical custody. #3 - these are temporary orders and is not a judgement #4 - she must attend counseling once a month #5 - i get to visit at least once a month for an extended weekend (4-5 days), potentially at her house or unfortunately at a hotel :( now for one of my own: I have something I want you to listen to, the [1826]last time "Enjoy the Silence" was ever played at Homebase. And "[1827]Truth Hurts" the instrumental. Every song I listen to is broadcast with my emotions. Do the same yourself. Do not falter in your concentration, become one with the melody and extend that meditation outwards. Think of the people you love, think of the people you care about. Think of me. Twist the knot. Think of all of the people I have known and loved and cared about if you knew me. Twist the knot. Think of all the people I have cared about if you do not know me - the whole world. Twist the knot. Please link to me -- I ask for permanant force aggregation. If you believe in me, believe in me now. If you doubt me, do not return. If you believe in me, you must do so without doubt. If it takes everything I have in my being I will give it. For the love of god please help me. Believe. Please this is my last chance. God please hear me. Start by channeling emotions through music and linking. Then move to channeling signature emotions to specific words you hear which evoke a special emotion. Target those signature emotions to your links. Now, when you get to know these signatures, send them at your links every time you hear them. BELIEVE! FEEL! KNOW! Her needs were met, her mom's needs were met, her grandma's needs were met, her sisters needs were met, everyone gets to be with everyone else Except me I plan to maintain this weave my entire life Please, this is like a prayer only more powerful Isin't it obvious what I want? Isin't it obvious what the right thing to happen is? Isini't it obvious what my son deserves? ride home 5 - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1828]slf on Tue Dec 28 2004 17:49 ([1829]got somethin to say?) ([1830]Link) ..slf ride home 4 - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1831]slf on Tue Dec 28 2004 17:49 ([1832]got somethin to say?) ([1833]Link) ..slf ride home 7 - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1834]slf on Tue Dec 28 2004 17:49 ([1835]got somethin to say?) ([1836]Link) ..slf ride home 2 - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1837]slf on Tue Dec 28 2004 17:45 ([1838]got somethin to say?) ([1839]Link) ..slf ride home 1 - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1840]slf on Tue Dec 28 2004 17:44 ([1841]got somethin to say?) ([1842]Link) ..slf conclusion - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1843]slf on Tue Dec 28 2004 17:43 ([1844]got somethin to say?) ([1845]Link) ..slf bright and sunny and stormy at the same time with a rainbow - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1846]slf on Mon Dec 27 2004 11:01 ([1847]got somethin to say?) ([1848]Link) my breath was taken away for how bright the sun was reflecting off of the buildings and to see black clouds blotting out the skies i went out there to take a picture of just the neat bright-ground/dark-sky scene only to be delighted that there was also a rainbow over the peace on earth building. ..slf [1849]Read More... (1 comments) nizami quote Posted by [1850]slf on Sun Dec 26 2004 12:49 ([1851]got somethin to say?) ([1852]Link) "The future is veiled from our eyes. The threads of each man's fate extend well beyond the boundaries of the visible world. Where they lead, we cannot see. Who can say that today's key will not be tomorrow's lock, or today's lock not tomorrow's key?" Nizami 12th C. normal isint normal anymore Posted by [1853]slf on Sun Dec 26 2004 11:58 ([1854]got somethin to say?) ([1855]Link) i just wanted to be normal and now normal isin't normal what the fuck is that what defines when to be open or closed? empirical knowledge and experience? luck of the draw? trial and error? is there a better plan - like to warm up to that shit softly - or to stay away with a 50 ft pole? my instinct says to run like hell and to fix the minds of these kids before its too late for them too but if i am not a source of this problem than i bare no responsibility for it what of the trust i have been humiliated for trust that i was deceived to believe from an extortion avoidance perspective -- is the cost too great? i wrapped myself into a shield only to have that backfire upon me and i lack the talent to integrate my dualities i think too much it is my purpose the analytical part of me wants to be okay with myself before any other part of me is allowed dominance over the analytical processing i am afraid to say the things that would turn you kids inward this life has paved many possabilities and few certainties i was too sweet (translation: i was too much of a scarred pussy) scar (not scare) pretty much everyone i have ever known have caused me to look at myself and question myself because of what you have showed me about yourselves i am caught in a battle between wanting to save you all from yourselves and choosing instead to save myself from myself i need to undo some of the pain i have been caused [among other things..] perhaps i was blind and you are removing the veil vilified - veil, livid, lived, evil, file, filed, devil... i just lived the last 5 years of my life being lied to by everyone and people just to have alot of old shit dumped back on my plate after rotting for so long i am not joking with you i do not feel it is something worth defining ones self honestly it has been made quite clear but my protective regexes match all kinds of shit up in those actions no excuses Posted by [1856]slf on Sun Dec 26 2004 11:46 ([1857]got somethin to say?) ([1858]Link) o/~ no excuses i feel that theres none needed i know that you resent me because i study how i'm greeted i'm quick to touch the microphone to rep before the loot i'm known around my village as the mouth that likes to shoot now i no longer have time for your irrelevance because the ignorance is just as dangerous as the intelligence its all about passage -- i'm trying to grasp it and hopefully my son will forgive me for my habits ~/o -atmos:currentstatus "there aint no pride in watchin your father cry" -atmos:nothinbutsunshine Strange Posted by [1859]slf on Sun Dec 26 2004 11:28 ([1860]got somethin to say?) ([1861]Link) I am really questioning myself. why am i here? Posted by [1862]slf on Sat Dec 25 2004 15:14 ([1863]got somethin to say?) ([1864]Link) (15:13:31) enrapturedagain: i just wanted to be a dad (15:13:36) enrapturedagain: and i was giving it 200% (15:13:39) enrapturedagain: and succeeding (15:13:44) enrapturedagain: never had any financial problems (15:13:51) enrapturedagain: never had any developmental problems with the baby (15:14:00) enrapturedagain: allways took care of his needs in a timely manner (15:14:05) enrapturedagain: allways had formula and diapers and cereal n food n shit (15:14:10) enrapturedagain: and then just suddenly *poof* (15:14:12) enrapturedagain: she steals him away (15:14:16) enrapturedagain: jacks him from me (15:14:20) enrapturedagain: 4 days before thanksgiving (15:14:31) enrapturedagain: in a powerplay chess game using him like a pawn (15:14:39) enrapturedagain: shes even tryin to change his last name yo making a positive difference Posted by [1865]slf on Sat Dec 25 2004 14:57 ([1866]got somethin to say?) ([1867]Link) I have really tried to make a positive difference in the lives of a dozen or so people. I feel really blessed to be offered such a spiritual existance. When it comes to an internalized friend, a blood relative by choice, there are just certain things you must never let happen. I know that the price of alternatives and the price of time and of giving a damn and by being there for friends far outweighs the consequences of there being no alternatives, or of the situation being intentionally degraded to the point of a life being threatened. I would give the clothes off my back (just answered a phonecall midsentence) if somebody asked me. Unless you're going to walk sit and sleep on water you better find a home or some roads and bridges. nowhere to be xmas eve Posted by [1868]slf on Fri Dec 24 2004 20:53 ([1869]got somethin to say?) ([1870]Link) Don't got anywhere to be xmas eve, it is kindof sad. I am sitting in my car staring at the waves as seen from halfmoon bay. ..slf yep, that's me - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1871]slf on Fri Dec 24 2004 13:17 ([1872]got somethin to say?) ([1873]Link) ..slf on the beach - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1874]slf on Fri Dec 24 2004 01:48 ([1875]got somethin to say?) ([1876]Link) Watching the waves and the moon and orion's stars. ..slf campfire in half moon bay - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1877]slf on Fri Dec 24 2004 01:46 ([1878]got somethin to say?) ([1879]Link) ..slf fountain pt. 2 - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1880]slf on Thu Dec 23 2004 16:42 ([1881]got somethin to say?) ([1882]Link) in the air - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1883]slf on Thu Dec 23 2004 14:36 ([1884]got somethin to say?) ([1885]Link) Hehe ..slf a fountain - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1886]slf on Thu Dec 23 2004 14:27 ([1887]got somethin to say?) ([1888]Link) ..slf LED house - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1889]slf on Wed Dec 22 2004 21:55 ([1890]got somethin to say?) ([1891]Link) Someone took the LED raver-light bedroom idea to the next level, with the LED house. Spotted in mountain view. campbell emeryville to treasure island to 2hrs back home Posted by [1892]slf on Wed Dec 22 2004 20:25 ([1893]got somethin to say?) ([1894]Link) the drive from campbell to emeryville is a piece of cake, the drive back home on the other hand is kindof annoying at the time slot i tried. 2 hrs back if i go at the wrong time. i think i'm going to change my route. this morning i accidentially went to treasure island. the view from my desk is pretty spectacular in and of itself, facing north towards berkeley and vacavilleish (north facing?) - i had a pretty good day today, i wrote a ton of programs, have been focusing on quick ways of producing fault tolerant omniconditional programs with long options parsing and usage information hacked into the same parsed data structure. enough about work. i'm probably going to be able to take it home for a little while, which will be nice to hang out at home. leet. so anyway i am covering tons of territory in the morning, it is really cool to drive through oakland in the morning. i dont know about the evening but in the morning it is nice to see some of my roots on the side of the road branchin out. it is amazing that i can wake up and go halfway acrost the bay and back again suddenly from previously staying at home all the time with the psuedo-wifey and our son. i'd trade it all back in an instant to hear "merry christmas, i'm sorry, i was wrong and i've been thinking about it and i'm sorry. i shouldn't have externalized you and i shouldn't have done that to you in your home."------- but it would never happen so what the fuck, there aint no such thing as half way there love u both Posted by [1895]slf on Wed Dec 22 2004 00:23 ([1896]got somethin to say?) ([1897]Link) i love you sarita and i love you orion [1898]Read More... (2 comments) the door - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1899]slf on Tue Dec 21 2004 17:23 ([1900]got somethin to say?) ([1901]Link) ..slf a thought Posted by [1902]slf on Tue Dec 21 2004 17:00 ([1903]got somethin to say?) ([1904]Link) Sarita has power played me into a game designed to keep her self interests protected against her family members moving to New Mexico. You are either incredibly smart or incredibly stupid. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group court action Posted by [1905]slf on Tue Dec 21 2004 16:50 ([1906]got somethin to say?) ([1907]Link) (slf) I was righteous today in the court battle over my son. (slf) *muaha* (slf) the judge flat out scolded her that she could not take my son to new mexico (slf) no matter what (slf) before even a hint as to the 9 page declaration and 3 supporting points and authorities. (slf) she had no fucking idea i had retained a lawyer about it (slf) the last thing she said to me - after i offered to forget it ever happened and to have her come home - was that she didn't want to be in a relationship and something negative after that. i said back to her "well, no worries, the ladies are linin up." and bounced out. (slf) she handed me a handwritten 2 page points-of-bullshit (slf) that the judge kindof laughed at (slf) he did keep the temporary orders there (slf) but my motion to change venue has not been decided on (slf) my motion to quash based on defective summons is an ace up the sleeve (slf) (and inappropriate type of action - family law (as if we were married) instead of uniform parentage act) (slf) and no CLETS domestic violence papers ever filed or served (slf) not to the guideline set by 6200 st. eq (slf) and in her declaration she flat out fucks up a date by 4-5 days (slf) and I printed 36 pages of email in triplicate to be an ace up the sleeve (slf) And I am righteous. (slf) they're gonna milk me for 20% of my earnings (slf) for the rest of my life (slf) which is fucking bank (slf) she cant get childcare expenses (slf) because i am giving her so much fucking money (slf) One thing is certain (slf) when I am paying 1000$, there is going to at least be a feeling attached to it. (slf) in an hour i had a suit a shave a meal a haircut and edited files and printed them at kinkos. (slf) I would be faithful in my heart if she didn't (slf) So the cheese move after that one is her call. (slf) chess. Cheese. (slf) I didn't actually mean to type cheese. (slf) *chuckle* (slf) And I didn't feel so bad because her grandfather was there. (slf) She shoved me into a sharp corner wall right in front of him. (slf) She deserved to be hit and I growled only. (slf) And I said "did you just SEE that?" (slf) and he said back to me "Nope, I didn't see nothin." - he's a 70 year old grandfather who worked for IBM - I am a kindred person onto him. (slf) Today has changed my life. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group judgement - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1908]slf on Tue Dec 21 2004 15:42 ([1909]got somethin to say?) ([1910]Link) continuance granted for 1 week, plot thickens. I am a free man!!!!!!!!!!! And I got two new hats (leetness) im over it so to speak. Muahaha ..slf big pimpin Posted by [1911]slf on Tue Dec 21 2004 10:57 ([1912]got somethin to say?) ([1913]Link) Im seriously big pimpin right now. ..slf shining a flashlight on the holes in her cheese Posted by [1914]slf on Mon Dec 20 2004 23:46 ([1915]got somethin to say?) ([1916]Link) And without further adeu, the kitchen Sink. [ my 20 page declaration in preparation of the special appearance tomorrow the 21st is available online for viewing if you email me or ask me via instant messenger, it is really inspiring, i have a very solid legal standing and plan. ] It will be thrown out. territory Posted by [1917]slf on Mon Dec 20 2004 19:29 ([1918]got somethin to say?) ([1919]Link) I currently cover territory starting in Campbell spanning out to Half Moon Bay, Emeryville and down to Hollister far beyond gilroy. That's alot of turf. I've got a real soft spot for 4th gear in my civic, vr-vr-vrrrrr, the purring in that engine is therapy. I feel connected with so many people right now. I really have accomplished something when it comes to picking myself up off the ground and dusting myself off just to then in the heat of battle emerge an enlightened warrior. I got connections, yo. ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group moral meditation Posted by [1920]slf on Mon Dec 20 2004 18:12 ([1921]got somethin to say?) ([1922]Link) what I do is help people get to their goals truth is not about just truth its about straight forward answers and simple answers and about listening.. honestly. ..slf off to work - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1923]slf on Mon Dec 20 2004 07:58 ([1924]got somethin to say?) ([1925]Link) ..slf bah, again Posted by [1926]slf on Sun Dec 19 2004 20:01 ([1927]got somethin to say?) ([1928]Link) started gettin all teary again lookin at a picture of my dad lookin at a picture of my son. must i really cry every day? today's trigger was.. Posted by [1929]slf on Sun Dec 19 2004 19:49 ([1930]got somethin to say?) ([1931]Link) Watching the movie Casino on USA at the scene where Ginger gets thrown out, with the money.. At the house. She was the mother of my kid... I didn't want to give her the money, because if I did... I was doing so well today. I felt really empowered, but then this sinking feeling hits me and I miss her. What have we done? i cant see anything beyond how you are hurting me at this moment - the weight of your action compared to my action is devastating its about time - new notebook Posted by [1932]slf on Sat Dec 18 2004 23:56 ([1933]got somethin to say?) ([1934]Link) I traded the BOLData Mini-P4 MX to this cool guy Dave for a Emachines 5312 notebook. We had to go to 3 different frys locations to get a APC TravelPower universal power adapter. He even threw in a bag. Man, that guy really made a positive difference in my life in a way that enables me to make a difference in many peoples lives. Thanks alot man that was really nice. My previous laptop was stolen 3 days after my baby was born. That robbed me of the additional involvement I was going to have by *allways* being in my kids room, you know? I could really have a blast jammin with Orion like that. Daddy has a plan honey - have faith -- the position of the anti fisherman Posted by [1935]slf on Sat Dec 18 2004 12:45 ([1936]got somethin to say?) ([1937]Link) Ideally, all I really have ever wanted is caring everyday involvement. I have tried being assertive in building bridges and providing atmospheres and roofs and enviornments and activities my whole life. I have spent every dime I have ever made on trying to make a positive different in other peoples lives. I just feel like i'm stuck behind some firewall as it seems no one initiates a connection into my network, no one frequents my network, no one meddles in my network, no one asks any questions of me. A lifetime of feelings and experiences of roads traveled and not traveled. It is not that I ever withdrew from society from my perspective, but rather that society withdrew from me. Like working on an engine, and leaving a thousand parts half installed, the vehicle wasn't left in a functional state. It was functional in the beginning and where I traveled and went I had a couple of accidents and road bumps by having friends and friendships where at the expense of myself I tried to help other people only to have the required components of my engine that I lended to be never returned. To have the parts I sent away for never delivered. And now I am stuck in the shop, unable to fix my ride, unable to go anywhere, and unable to make the peering relationships nessicary to restore service functionality and to build relationships that would have offered perspectives and upgrades to make it a better car. I got a piece of shit car. I gotta piece of shit car.......... so if I do not bait my water, and I do not travel to fish, what do I do? I'm not trying to have someone else fish for me. I'm not trying to have someone else override any decisions I would make to protect all parties (by believing in violation for everything I have just said - I'm not trying to have someone else convince me that I need to fish every day. I want the fish to frequent here, this place, I want to swim with the school to other lakes, I want to stray off to make pit stops and not be viewed as an outsider by the school a year later if I sought out to return to those schools of fish. I dont want to be manipulated with ultamadums to join the school of fish or else be stuck in a pond isolated forever and alone. I am a very lonely fish. What I describe is the biggest challenge facing humanity. Clearly above anything else, this is what is wrong with the world. How could 6 billion people be blind to this? How could 10,000 years, a millenia, a century, a decade, a year, a day, an hour or a minute and a split second be insufficient for 6 billion people to not see this!! Life is a process of making a greater number of people happier over a longer period of time. This would be the biggest search and rescue operation existance has ever known. What the hell are you all waiting for? A sign? A warning? A warning you can't discredit? A warning you can't ignore? A warning you can't delude in your views of it, self evident and that leaves no room for speculation? Are you waiting for someone to tell you to do something about it? Are you waiting for someone to tell you to do something about it every day? Are you waiting to learn it the hard way? At your own expense? At the expense of someone who is not you? At the expense of a loved one? At the expense of a group of persons? At the expense of a whole culture of people? Wake the fuck up!!! Success derived by the sacrifices of others whose rewards are not distributed evenly amongst all contributing parties will allways fail or be thwarted through balancing means. What are we working for anyway? To keep working? To make somebody filthy rich and to infest their claws on society? I sure as hell am not working towards the goal of invincible masters. I dont know about you, but from a reality check perspective things need to change. I am not putting my life and time and my heart and soul into something to be mistreated. I am not putting my life and time and my heart and soul into something to be disrespected. I sure as hell am not working to be cast aside. I sure as hell am not working to be exiled. What is the fucking point of assigning "invincible masters" to a solution that performs a miracle feat? If you cannot talk about it, cannot share it, cannot use it, cannot let others talk about it, and backstab and betray people to protect your secret technologies, how the fuck is that benefitting the common good? How the fuck is that doing anything else but massively appointing "invincible masters" A-Z? There are allways these rushes to do something before someone else.. Only to do it as a one-off and never speak about it again. To throw it away and lock it up and to keep others from ever doing the same thing. Without the harpsichord strings, without the pages, without the explanations, the examples, and the internalized good spirited advice in the pursuit of common exchanges????????? Must everyone prove that they are as good as you before you are willing to see them as an equal? Can you see them as an equal even though you are the supposed "invincible master"? You have to go cross from A to B and you cant get to F without going through C D and E. I will close this entry on a musical metaphor. If the tuba only knows the tuba, and the violin only knows the violin, and the drums only know the drums, and if minds of the freethinkers who created those instruments aren't there to teach you how to make other instruments that follow form, how are you going to do anything but be manipulated by the symphony conductor or the instructor.. the puppetmasters? When are you going to see the bigger picture? When are you going to play all the instruments, not one at a time, but all at once, being the conductor of your own symphony? If and when you all ever reach this point, will you be limited in your time or your seating? Will you accept what you have and their respective invincible masters, or will you instead see that there are the potential for 6 billion simultaneous instruments to be played for the same audience? By itself, for itself, of itself, adding to itself. How without all of these things, how without eroding the annexations, can we ever end the siege on our potential? ...slf [1938]Read More... (2 comments) my son and a thought Posted by [1939]slf on Sat Dec 18 2004 11:49 ([1940]got somethin to say?) ([1941]Link) I'm pretty clear on what my biggest fear is with my son. It's this: That he would be emotionally withdrawn from me in the future, out of fear of being hurt if the mom were to take him away. He knew I would allways be there. He knew I would be there to take care of him in the morning no matter what if it really came down to it. He knew I would be there if he was lonely, he knew I loved him and he knew I allways wanted to be around him. He was so happy to get to see me every day when my schedule switched from a little every day to all day every day. Maybe he wont open up to me as much or as fast because of what she did to him :( His face used to brighten up so special for me, I loved his daddy-only-im-happy-to-see-you looks. I wanted to be there every day for the little guy. Its not like I'm ever going to get to do this all over again. I dont get these first few years back. People can't just put their lives in a storage locker and return to them where they left off after they've had some breathing room. He's just my baby son, he is so precious and no hasty choices should ever be enacted which would affect him. Algorithmicly, we should use every computer on the face of the planet for 23.5 hours out of every day to compute these choices. Best to just not say or do anything that would take such a computational force to properly chart out and plan ahead for. Just because you can, just because you have the right, just because you think you should, even if every sign points to something that would normally make you decide one way, those are the very assumptions that are worth pausing to contemplate. Judgement is something that takes much time and effort. A first born child is no guineea pig for lab experiments, god fucking damnit. He is NOT a stepping stone. ...slf nightmares Posted by [1942]slf on Sat Dec 18 2004 11:45 ([1943]got somethin to say?) ([1944]Link) dreaming in a dream to keep dreaming dreams within dreams within dreams.. Nope. Wasn't a dream. I need a cat. a new low Posted by [1945]slf on Fri Dec 17 2004 18:05 ([1946]got somethin to say?) ([1947]Link) tidings got a lot worse. My only real active friend and family pushed me away. That makes it pretty much just me. Im all that's left. Home and family are what you make out of it. Many many tears. Everything culminated. No more support network. I just can't even drive home. :( all I have is work. That's it. Everything else was taken from me. Clusin was the only friend I had left. I think im gonna withdraw for awhile. I knew this was going to happen some day. People grow apart :( I really feel that the hurt I feel at the thought of the only 'family' I got left here down to 'absolutely nothing'... Tears welled up in my eyes and in those moments I felt sadder than I had ever felt before. I cried and I just kept crying. Even now. I look around and feel like no one ever asserts themselves around me. I shouldn't have to coax. Wow. Couple that with hearing children walk to their cars and all of a sudden the feeling explodes into ultimate suffering. I miss my family. Just sitting here. I feel helpless to move and I know like 5 peeps are staring into my car wondering if im ok. Fuck it. The way I hurt right now is all I have left. the rose still sits on my dash - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1948]slf on Fri Dec 17 2004 13:28 ([1949]got somethin to say?) ([1950]Link) ..slf [1951]Read More... (1 comments) fenced sunset - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1952]slf on Thu Dec 16 2004 17:22 ([1953]got somethin to say?) ([1954]Link) ..slf brightness after the next corner - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1955]slf on Thu Dec 16 2004 17:18 ([1956]got somethin to say?) ([1957]Link) ..slf the champion ghetto system in my car consists of headphones and this one teeny 99 cent cigarette ligher LED - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1958]slf on Thu Dec 16 2004 17:15 ([1959]got somethin to say?) ([1960]Link) Its not much but its all i've got. im not trying to represent in a honda civic hehe. Its too easy to get into my car. I'm never putting my valuables in there again. ..slf a fountain... Hmm! Symbolism for interviewing the grounds, too. :) - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1961]slf on Thu Dec 16 2004 12:12 ([1962]got somethin to say?) ([1963]Link) Data mining unique fountain photos one sentimental fountain at a time. ..slf sunsets - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1964]slf on Wed Dec 15 2004 19:46 ([1965]got somethin to say?) ([1966]Link) I saw the sunrise on the way to hollister this morning.. I saw this sunset on the way to half moon bay this afternoon. ..slf [1967]Read More... (1 comments) finess Posted by [1968]slf on Wed Dec 15 2004 12:27 ([1969]got somethin to say?) ([1970]Link) You got a sense of finess -- cleverness, cunning, conviction, courage, style. That's how you're gonna be a father. That's how you're gonna be a man. No one can ever take that away from you. mediation failed - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1971]slf on Wed Dec 15 2004 11:05 ([1972]got somethin to say?) ([1973]Link) She loves me but no agreement. ..slf coffee at jerrys - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1974]slf on Wed Dec 15 2004 08:04 ([1975]got somethin to say?) ([1976]Link) ..slf going to hollister - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1977]slf on Wed Dec 15 2004 07:14 ([1978]got somethin to say?) ([1979]Link) ..slf what i wish i were doing right now - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1980]slf on Tue Dec 14 2004 21:19 ([1981]got somethin to say?) ([1982]Link) this is what i wish i were doing right now :( i miss him and her so much :( ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group connection and musical inspiration. Bump it! - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1983]slf on Tue Dec 14 2004 18:12 ([1984]got somethin to say?) ([1985]Link) ..slf so chill, to the next episode? - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1986]slf on Tue Dec 14 2004 17:39 ([1987]got somethin to say?) ([1988]Link) before i axed the whiskars - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1989]slf on Tue Dec 14 2004 17:36 ([1990]got somethin to say?) ([1991]Link) before i axed the whiskars. [1992]Read More... (1 comments) incoming call Posted by [1993]slf on Tue Dec 14 2004 17:23 ([1994]got somethin to say?) ([1995]Link) I love you for humoring me! a fountain.. Hmm! - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [1996]slf on Tue Dec 14 2004 12:15 ([1997]got somethin to say?) ([1998]Link) ..slf [1999]Read More... (1 comments) im behind the wheel but what's the destination - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2000]slf on Mon Dec 13 2004 22:38 ([2001]got somethin to say?) ([2002]Link) ..slf I miss the feeling Posted by [2003]slf on Mon Dec 13 2004 22:32 ([2004]got somethin to say?) ([2005]Link) I miss the feeling. It enraptured me. It unveiled more than it was at surface level. Like no words could come close to encasing. It was there with me between every breath. Under every whisper. Behind every suggestion. Above and around anything. Everywhere. From everything. From nothing. and there was nothing like it. ..slf locked my keys in my car Posted by [2006]slf on Mon Dec 13 2004 22:16 ([2007]got somethin to say?) ([2008]Link) I locked my keys in my car :( everything just seems to have a wrench in it lately, I am so not myself. When she was just sitting there in the courthouse plottin and schemin away and not lookin at me and holding out those bs orders it really cracked my heartstrings. I just wanted a family. what was so wrong with that? what did my little one do to deserve deprivation of his father? Is it really gonna go down like this worst case scenario? Could that really happen? the pace in my life is about to really gear up and the time is now if any corrective action is gonna happen. If for some reason things are going to go back to normal great but if she was going to put me through all this and attack my name like this shouldn't it be over for now? I love my son enough to wait the mom out to have her come to her senses but what if that day doesn't come? What if there are other complications? I love my son and I love the mother of my child but who is going to be there everyday to be strong for *me* when I am little? I am lost without a companion by my side allways. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to wait anymore. I don't want to live in limbo. I need someone there to be strong for me when I need to curl up and rest. U feel me? ..slf should I move on? Posted by [2009]slf on Mon Dec 13 2004 22:06 ([2010]got somethin to say?) ([2011]Link) Should I move on? ..slf shit has really hit the fan - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2012]slf on Mon Dec 13 2004 15:15 ([2013]got somethin to say?) ([2014]Link) ..slf a thought after court Posted by [2015]slf on Mon Dec 13 2004 13:33 ([2016]got somethin to say?) ([2017]Link) would they really arrest a father crying at the exit way as his son said "da da" as he walked by, as he broke down crying and saying "i love you son..i love you"? such was not the case. such was almost the case for a good 5-10 minutes while i minded my p's and q's with the bailiff. they 'forgot' about it he said. would they really have arrested a father whos child was abducted who cried and could not help himself but to tell his son that he loved him? no. like i said. that was not the case. prayers Posted by [2018]slf on Mon Dec 13 2004 07:34 ([2019]got somethin to say?) ([2020]Link) I really need prayers. Mine aren't loud enough, it would seem. [2021]Read More... (2 comments) im pretty scared Posted by [2022]slf on Mon Dec 13 2004 07:33 ([2023]got somethin to say?) ([2024]Link) I'm pretty scared! I woke up at 6am, went to go get some hair-gel, got gas put in the car, gel'd up my hair, now I'm sitting here at 7:30am waiting. This morning we have an emergency screening in santa clara county, wednesday we have the equivilant screening in san benito county, I just want to see my son. I wake up every morning with a feeling of emptiness without him here. I just want my family back. I am so sorry. I just want him back. Please understand. Why must it come down to a court battle? scattered on the floor - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2025]slf on Sun Dec 12 2004 12:10 ([2026]got somethin to say?) ([2027]Link) ..slf shaky brokenhearted feeling Posted by [2028]slf on Sat Dec 11 2004 21:13 ([2029]got somethin to say?) ([2030]Link) I have such a shaky brokenhearted feeling, I have been so depressed since she took my son away :( I am going to go curl into a ball in his (old) room and cry. Goodnight my child. sarita's broken promises Posted by [2031]slf on Sat Dec 11 2004 18:20 ([2032]got somethin to say?) ([2033]Link) Steven, If I attack your pride, tell me. I'll try not to. ** You took my son ** If I attack your confidence, tell me. I'll try not to. ** You took my son ** If I attack your self esteem, tell me. I'll try not to. ** You took my son ** If I attack your love for myself or our child, ask why. I'm feeling attacked. ** You took my son ** If I hurt you, let me know. I'm either feeling hurt, or Im trying not to lie to you. ** You are hurting me -- You took my son ** I will not lie to you anymore, even if it is for your own protection. ** You allways lie to me ** I will not keep things from you anymore, even if they will hurt you. ** You are keeping my son from me ** I will not keep you out of anything that is OURS sacred or not. ** You are keeping me out of our family and our son! ** I will not betray you. ** You have betrayed me ** I will not betray your trust when it is given to me. ** You have betrayed my trust ** I will not manipulate you and never have. ** You have manipulated me ** I will not wrongfully accuse you of anything ever. ** You have wrongfully accused me of the worst possible things ** I have never robbed you and would never do such a thing. ** You have robbed me many times including now ** I will not and would never set our house on fire. (duh) ** You have literally attempted to set our house on fire ** I will never externalize you. You are a permanent inhabitant of my heart. ** You externalized me, you took my son, where are you now? ** I will never ruin you again, and have no recollection of doing so in the first place. (I apologise if this is so.) ** You have ruined me ** I will not shut doors in your life. The ones I have shut I am not aware of. ** You have shut doors in our life, the two most important ones ** I will not broadcast our personal buisness. Please do not discuss anything I tell you with anyone. ** You broke every other promise on this list, why keep it a secret? ** I will not badmouth you to anyone. ** You badmouthed me to your family, the court, the law, my mother, total strangers, and your prospective new suitors ** I will not accept nor will I allow any meddling in our relationship by anyone. (This includes my family AND YOURS.) ** Except your mother. You took our son! You lied to me! ** I will not allow anyone to come between us unless you are dumb enough to cheat on me. ** I NEVER cheated on you and you took our son from me! ** I will never ruin anything for you provided it isn't unhealthy for you or our relationship. ** YOU RUINED MY FATHERHOOD ** I will NEVER abuse our child (or children). You should already know this. (duh!) ** YOU ARE ABUSING HIM BY DEPRIVING HIM OF HIS FATHER :( ** I will NEVER abandon our family. It is the most important thing in the world to me. (You know this.) ** YOU ABANDONED OUR FAMILY ** If I say things I don't mean, please recognize that I don't mean it and ask me why I'm so upset. ** I DID ASK YOU AND YOU EXTORTED ME AND STOLE MY SON ** I will not ACTUALLY make hasty decisions effecting the rest of our lives. This goes under the "saying things I don't mean" clause. I will try to curb that tendancy, but it will take some time. Till then, please recognize that I don't mean it. ** YOU MADE HASTY DECISIONS AFFECTING THE REST OF OUR LIVES ** I will always show you that I love you, provided that your love for me is also evident. ** I LOVE YOU ** I will not quit when things get difficult, but things I don't mean will be said in those times. ** YOU QUIT WHEN THINGS GOT DIFFICULT ** I will still tell you when I am sorry, but that does not mean I won't make an effort to show you as well. ** YOU CAN SHOW ME YOU ARE SORRY BY COMING HOME ** I will never throw away a good thing provided it does not rot. Please understand this statement. When our relationship does nothing more than make the both of us miserable, it is no longer a good thing. When you are no longer sure of your love for me, it is no longer a good thing. Always be sure. ** :( ** I will always be sure. I will always love you. I will always be with you. ** ARE YOU SURE? DO YOU LOVE ME? WHERE ARE YOU NOW? ** I promise you all of these things. ** THEN WHERE ARE YOU? ** This letter is an extensive promise to you. I only hope that you can find ** THEN WHERE ARE YOU? ** it in your heart to forgive me for the wrong that I have done, and accept that you have done some things wrong too. While you haven't fucked up ** I FORGIVE YOU, WHERE ARE YOU? ** quite as much as I have, you have done things that hurt me badly as well. I'm saying I'm sorry for everything I've done, but once wwe are together again in a place of our own, I will show you. I have a plan. I love you ** WHERE ARE YOU? ** dearly, and I miss you terribly. Love, Sarita ** WHERE ARE YOU? ** ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group for the love of my son Posted by [2034]slf on Sat Dec 11 2004 16:07 ([2035]got somethin to say?) ([2036]Link) I still feel really empty without my baby & my baby's mama. I feel really betrayed in how everything has come about so far. How could she do this to our family? i miss my son Posted by [2037]slf on Fri Dec 10 2004 18:40 ([2038]got somethin to say?) ([2039]Link) he's really lucky to have a father who wants to be there what could possibly be wrong with this? served her with santa clara summons - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2040]slf on Fri Dec 10 2004 17:09 ([2041]got somethin to say?) ([2042]Link) She served me in san benito with a bullshit suit from a bullshit jurisdiction so I had her served in a way to get it heard by santa clara first before san benito proceded. [2043]Read More... (1 comments) the worst part Posted by [2044]slf on Thu Dec 09 2004 14:32 ([2045]got somethin to say?) ([2046]Link) the worst part about it is feeling alone after giving so much :( ..slf i'm afraid Posted by [2047]slf on Thu Dec 09 2004 14:17 ([2048]got somethin to say?) ([2049]Link) I'm really nervous, I am alone by myself and its really terrifying being by myself. I am so afraid. I miss my son so much, I have been having nightmares the past couple of nights and I feel really subjected by post traumatic stress syndrome. I am more freaked out right now than I have ever been in my entire life. remember me? - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2050]slf on Tue Dec 07 2004 15:05 ([2051]got somethin to say?) ([2052]Link) [2053]Read More... (1 comments) change - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2054]slf on Tue Dec 07 2004 14:33 ([2055]got somethin to say?) ([2056]Link) ..slf mercury & north node retrogrades and scheduling coincidences Posted by [2057]slf on Tue Dec 07 2004 13:26 ([2058]got somethin to say?) ([2059]Link) The north node went aries retrograde starting Tuesday November 30th 2004 ending Monday June 19th 2006. Mercury went sagitarius retrograde starting Tuesday November 30th 2004 ending Monday December 20th 2004. During the Mars approach I was involved with the law in an odd way too. (on the pivotal balance of its closest passing) November 30th - She had adamantly made up her mind at this time December 20th - One day before my feet touch steps at the hall of justice I wear both of the rings now - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2060]slf on Mon Dec 06 2004 00:05 ([2061]got somethin to say?) ([2062]Link) iron and silver twisted band with an aquamarine in the middle, on my left middle finger and my right middle finger. They remind me of balance. ..slf i loved you Posted by [2063]slf on Sun Dec 05 2004 16:06 ([2064]got somethin to say?) ([2065]Link) i loved you so much that i would have never stopped trying she split us apart - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2066]slf on Sun Dec 05 2004 16:05 ([2067]got somethin to say?) ([2068]Link) ..slf was interrupting my work because I was constantly checking it - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2069]slf on Sun Dec 05 2004 16:01 ([2070]got somethin to say?) ([2071]Link) ..slf getting attacked again was bleeding very bad - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2072]slf on Sun Dec 05 2004 15:59 ([2073]got somethin to say?) ([2074]Link) ..slf sarita threatened to and attacked me with a knife! - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2075]slf on Sun Dec 05 2004 15:52 ([2076]got somethin to say?) ([2077]Link) 2 of 2, dated 24 july 2004. this person took my child away from me. sarita threatened to and attacked me with a knife! - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2078]slf on Sun Dec 05 2004 15:51 ([2079]got somethin to say?) ([2080]Link) 1 of 2, dated 24 july 2004. this person took my child away from me. sigh - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2081]slf on Sun Dec 05 2004 13:23 ([2082]got somethin to say?) ([2083]Link) ..slf a realization Posted by [2084]slf on Fri Dec 03 2004 21:40 ([2085]got somethin to say?) ([2086]Link) only when one has nothing can one have faith oh no - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2087]slf on Fri Dec 03 2004 21:12 ([2088]got somethin to say?) ([2089]Link) ..slf this one speaks for itself - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2090]slf on Fri Dec 03 2004 19:00 ([2091]got somethin to say?) ([2092]Link) :( ..slf sarita is trying to hijack the custody of our child through ill-gotten means Posted by [2093]slf on Thu Dec 02 2004 14:49 ([2094]got somethin to say?) ([2095]Link) its about him and how he treats her. every waking moment of every day from this day forward i will have these feelings to channel out. i cannot forget. i will never forget I burn a candle in the window hoping you will find you way back home - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2096]slf on Wed Dec 01 2004 22:32 ([2097]got somethin to say?) ([2098]Link) I burn a candle in the window hoping you will find you way back home ..slf She kidnapped my son!!! Posted by [2099]slf on Tue Nov 30 2004 16:47 ([2100]got somethin to say?) ([2101]Link) SHE KIDNAPPED MY SON!!!!!!!!! ..slf [925.895-1500] - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group sarita took everything - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2102]slf on Tue Nov 30 2004 16:06 ([2103]got somethin to say?) ([2104]Link) ..slf my son has been kidnapped Posted by [2105]slf on Tue Nov 30 2004 15:50 ([2106]got somethin to say?) ([2107]Link) My son has been kidnapped by the mother. I have been lied to. I have been robbed. I have been manipulated. I have been controlled. I have been victimized. I have been abused. I have been tarnished. I have been poisoned. That kid is my whole world. We had a verbal agreement that he would go down there for 4 days and instead of returning him, she kidnapped him for good. She and him were my whole world. I love you Orion so much, your father loves you. Your father will never stop loving you no matter what happens. I pray you will never know how I feel right now. [2108]Read More... (1 comments) i have no telephone through next tuesday Posted by [2109]slf on Wed Nov 24 2004 20:21 ([2110]got somethin to say?) ([2111]Link) i have no telephone between now and next tuesday. hrm. scaffolding in the kitchen - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2112]slf on Sat Nov 20 2004 19:45 ([2113]got somethin to say?) ([2114]Link) ..slf fatherhood - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2115]slf on Sat Nov 20 2004 19:35 ([2116]got somethin to say?) ([2117]Link) ..slf now where ya wanna go - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2118]slf on Sat Nov 20 2004 19:22 ([2119]got somethin to say?) ([2120]Link) ..slf [2121]Read More... (1 comments) orion today - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2122]slf on Sat Nov 20 2004 19:21 ([2123]got somethin to say?) ([2124]Link) ..slf the coolest thing in a fountain I have ever seen - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2125]slf on Sat Nov 20 2004 19:20 ([2126]got somethin to say?) ([2127]Link) ..slf sky 6 - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2128]slf on Sat Nov 20 2004 19:19 ([2129]got somethin to say?) ([2130]Link) ..slf sky 5 - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2131]slf on Sat Nov 20 2004 19:19 ([2132]got somethin to say?) ([2133]Link) ..slf sky 1 - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2134]slf on Sat Nov 20 2004 19:18 ([2135]got somethin to say?) ([2136]Link) ..slf sky 2 - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2137]slf on Sat Nov 20 2004 19:18 ([2138]got somethin to say?) ([2139]Link) ..slf sky 3 - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2140]slf on Sat Nov 20 2004 19:17 ([2141]got somethin to say?) ([2142]Link) ..slf sky 4 - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2143]slf on Sat Nov 20 2004 19:17 ([2144]got somethin to say?) ([2145]Link) ..slf more of the duck collection - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2146]slf on Mon Nov 15 2004 11:25 ([2147]got somethin to say?) ([2148]Link) ..slf orions rubber duck collection hehe - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2149]slf on Mon Nov 15 2004 11:23 ([2150]got somethin to say?) ([2151]Link) Awwww he has 11 ducks 2 crabs and a froggy hehe ..slf [2152]Read More... (1 comments) the nearby bookshelf - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2153]slf on Tue Nov 09 2004 22:45 ([2154]got somethin to say?) ([2155]Link) ..slf for sale - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2156]slf on Mon Nov 08 2004 22:22 ([2157]got somethin to say?) ([2158]Link) For sale... ..slf strawberry banana nut oatmeal - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2159]slf on Sun Nov 07 2004 18:04 ([2160]got somethin to say?) ([2161]Link) "isint it delicious?" she said to him, "yummy!" he replied.. Mmm! He must have really liked it. He hasn't started responding to everything said to him, but oh man when he really really likes something or wants to do something he gets WAY more talkative than normal!!! :):) I loves him, it was cute ..slf [2162]Read More... (1 comments) the 2004 presidential election Posted by [2163]slf on Sun Nov 07 2004 14:10 ([2164]got somethin to say?) ([2165]Link) anyone see a similarity between the electoral map and this one: [2166]http://www.learner.org/biographyofamerica/prog10/maps/ there was one by county: [2167]http://www.usatoday.com/news/politicselections/vote2004/countymap.htm in 3d most definitely this one: [2168]http://www.esri.com/industries/elections/graphics/results2004_lg.jpg that ones 3d do you see how frigging much californians hate bush california and illinois pretty much reached into heaven to hold the "fuck bush" sign *chuckle* :) how contrast the maps against the average intelligence of the residents of those counties: formally, informally, gifted wise the strong minded side one way, the weak minded (or easily impressionable.. gullible... dimwitted...retarted...socially challenged...ha ha) who moves to alaska to concern themselves with society at large anyway? who moves to north dakota, alabama, texas, or any "non-major" city to be apart of a megaculture? every single place that had police riots voted consistently one way sunset over santa cruz ridge - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2169]slf on Sat Nov 06 2004 18:53 ([2170]got somethin to say?) ([2171]Link) ..slf catnappin in the living room 1of2 - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2172]slf on Sat Nov 06 2004 13:17 ([2173]got somethin to say?) ([2174]Link) Catnappin in the living room 1of2 ..slf orions first halloween num 2 - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2175]slf on Thu Nov 04 2004 16:34 ([2176]got somethin to say?) ([2177]Link) He won nerf weapons :) ..slf orions first halloween - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2178]slf on Thu Nov 04 2004 16:33 ([2179]got somethin to say?) ([2180]Link) 1 of 2 ..slf the sky - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2181]slf on Thu Nov 04 2004 16:31 ([2182]got somethin to say?) ([2183]Link) :) ..slf code rewriting crusade Posted by [2184]slf on Tue Nov 02 2004 16:20 ([2185]got somethin to say?) ([2186]Link) It's time to rewrite every program that I have ever written and to make them into products. What the hell. I'll just have to stop using shift when it comes to program execution for parsing of variables. From now on, everything I'm going to ever write will be one super-powerful multithreaded harness coupled with a shell that is also a language. Instead of passing command arguments, there will be switches grabbed out with Getopts, and *one* argument, being a file, which can run equivilant commands to change these variables. So it is a tool. It is a procedural language. It targets one thing. It targets many things. It runs one thing. It runs many things harmoniously at the same time. It can be used to rewrite itself. It can change how it works on the fly. It can go from point A to point B. It can go from point A which causes point B which causes point C which causes point D which then goes to A, which then fires off a Z a Y and a X that each have series of A causes B which causes B which causes D which causes E scenarios constantly going that exchange communication between the Z and the Y and the X in a way that makes A do something completely different and so on and so forth! [2187]Read More... (1 comments) sthreads.. read all about it Posted by [2188]slf on Sun Oct 24 2004 17:05 ([2189]got somethin to say?) ([2190]Link) Take your mindsomewhere it can build sentient agents. #!/usr/bin/perl ## ..slf - innovating and inspiring the silicon valley ## http://dreamscape.org dsc ops research group use threads; # needed for ithreads :) i strongly suggest perl 5.8.5 or later. use threads::shared; # used for sharing many simple hashes among our threads. use IO::Handle; # needed so you can autoflush FH 1 which is like $|=1; for FH's use Time::HiRes qw( alarm sleep ); # 1s/(.200)=5/s precision alarm & sleep. our %config : shared = (); # declare config hash to be shared amongst threads. our %hash2 : shared = (); # declare hash2 hash to be shared amongst threads. our $statefile : shared = "${0}.state"; # declare $statefile shared too. our $alarminterval : shared = 1800; # 1800=30 minutes, 3600=1 hour, 5400=90 min $|++; # autoflushing is usually a good idea. $SIG{INT} = sub { die "Goodbye!\n"; }; # bind control-C to do this function. $SIG{ALRM} = sub { # bind the alarm to this function. # your alarm code could go here # alarm occurs again every alarminterval seconds if $alarminterval declared. alarm $alarminterval if (defined $alarminterval); }; language(); # when first executed, parse procedure files given as file args shell(); # then switch to shell mode in the parent thread # Alright. So here's the secret: You can have as *many* threads doing infinite # while loops that all sleep at their own intervals to do *any* scenario you # would ever dream of, using shared data structures amongst the threads. # If I do one thing in life it will be to encourage this implementation as # footprints into a place the mind can do anything it could imagine. Instead # of a script being a point to point, you can make scenarios that point to # multipoint or point to multipath to multipoint etc! It is amazing what you # can do flipping bits! sub parsecmd { my $cmd = shift || ''; SHELL: for ($cmd) { ## > eval sub beer { print "Mmmm!\n"; }; ## > thread beer ## Mmmm! ## > eval sub args { foreach (@_) { print "$_ "; }; print "\n"; } ## > thread args ok,okok,okokok # This is a powerful command pattern to procedural operation structure. (make // become //o if you run many commands) /^thread (.*?) (.*?)$/ && do { @args=split /,/, $2; ${"thread-$1"} = threads->create("$1", @args); last SHELL; }; /^thread (.*?)$/ && do { ${"thread-$1"} = threads->create("$1"); last SHELL; }; /^do (.*?)$/ && do { print "Procedure file $1 not found.\n" unless (-e "$1"); open PROC, "< $1"; while() { chomp; next if (/^$/); print "Doing command: $_\n"; parsecmd("$_"); }; close PROC; last SHELL; }; /^set (.*?) (.*)$/ && do { print "Assigning " .$1. " to " .$2. "\n"; $$1=$2; last SHELL; }; /^config$/ && do { print "$k -> $v\n" while( ($k,$v)=each %config ); last SHELL; }; /^config (.*?) (.*)$/ && do { print "Assigning \$config\{\"" .$1. "\"\} = \"" .$2. "\"\;\n"; $config{"$1"}="$2"; last SHELL; }; /^(.*?)\?$/ && do { defined $$1 ? print "$1 is: \{$$1\}\n" : print "Not found.\n"; last SHELL; }; /^show (.*?)$/ && do { print "$1 is: \{$$1\}\n"; last SHELL; }; /^eval (.*?)$/ && do { my $perlcode=$1; eval $perlcode; last SHELL; }; /^alarm$/ && do { print "Activating alarm $alarminterval seconds from now.\n"; alarm $alarminterval; last SHELL; }; /^load$/ && do { &load; last SHELL; }; /^save$/ && do { &save; last SHELL; }; /^quit$/ && do { die "Goodbye!\n"; }; /^help$/ && do { open MYSELF, "< $0"; print "\#\#\# Commands available in $0:\n";while() { if (/\/\^(.*?)\$\/\s+\&\&\s+do \{ (.*?) \}/) { $scmd=$1; $scmd=~ s/\\//g; $sdoes=$2; print "$scmd\n"; } } close MYSELF; last SHELL; }; /^$/ && do { last SHELL; }; print "What?\n"; } } sub save { unlink "$statefile"; open STATEFILE, "+>> $statefile" or die "could not save state file: $!\n"; print "Saving state to $statefile .."; foreach (sort keys %config) { print STATEFILE "\{config\}\{$_\}\{${config}{$_}\}\n"; } foreach (sort keys %hash2) { print STATEFILE "\{hash2\}\{$_\}\{${hash2}{$_}\}\n"; } close STATEFILE; print "ok.\n"; } sub load { open STATEFILE, "< $statefile" or (warn "could not read state file: $!\n" and return); print "Reading statefile $statefile .."; print "\n"; while() { chomp; if (/^\{(.*?)\}\{(.*?)\}\{(.*)\}$/) { $hashname = $1; $hashvari = $2; $hashdata = $3; $hashdata =~ s/(?:^\{|\}$)//g; print "Loaded: \[$hashname\] $hashvari -> $hashdata\n"; ${"$hashname"}{"$hashvari"}="$hashdata"; } } close STATEFILE; print "ok.\n"; } sub language { $|=1; print "> "; while(<>) { chomp; parsecmd("$_"); print "> "; } } sub shell { $|=1; print "> "; while() { chomp; parsecmd("$_"); print "> "; } } a rainbow in sunnyvale - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2191]slf on Tue Oct 19 2004 16:56 ([2192]got somethin to say?) ([2193]Link) ..slf sunset at the asian mall - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2194]slf on Sun Sep 19 2004 20:42 ([2195]got somethin to say?) ([2196]Link) We went with the bebeh and our good friend Mike to the asian mall. The southern facing exit rendered a very pretty sunset facing south of san jose. ..slf stopped Posted by [2197]slf on Sun Sep 19 2004 11:00 ([2198]got somethin to say?) ([2199]Link) tis been taking awhile to do anything... I think that if I just anticipate 2x or 3x of whatever x time is and try not treat it like x that I will come acrost as being more patient or something. But come on man, waiting this long is not without recourse from the boredom. the thought of travel is exhausting - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2200]slf on Sat Sep 18 2004 15:47 ([2201]got somethin to say?) ([2202]Link) He was so excited that we were gonna go out that he passed out. Hehe. ..slf ready to go - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2203]slf on Sat Sep 18 2004 14:24 ([2204]got somethin to say?) ([2205]Link) :) ..slf my babeh is so happeh to see meh - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2206]slf on Sat Sep 18 2004 12:28 ([2207]got somethin to say?) ([2208]Link) :) we've been spending alotta time together ..slf ok I made it in on time - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2209]slf on Fri Sep 10 2004 09:17 ([2210]got somethin to say?) ([2211]Link) Here goes my first day on the job again. Everything's set. I will be practicing new rules of engagement of subject matter. Gotta keep the queen safe and secret. ..slf jeffs here - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2212]slf on Thu Sep 09 2004 19:26 ([2213]got somethin to say?) ([2214]Link) jeff stopped by to say wazzup ..slf trains reduce stress - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2215]slf on Wed Sep 08 2004 13:06 ([2216]got somethin to say?) ([2217]Link) Sitting on a train for an hour in an air conditioned atmosphere reduces stress. ..slf the santa clara caltrain platform - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2218]slf on Wed Sep 08 2004 13:00 ([2219]got somethin to say?) ([2220]Link) It has this western feel to it. I am on the way to SF for a meeting. ..slf inheritance of the kitty blanket - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2221]slf on Mon Sep 06 2004 09:44 ([2222]got somethin to say?) ([2223]Link) I had such a hard time with my son this mornig, he wanted a feeling and it really took along time for me to find one to share with him. The secret: daddy's childhood favorite blanket. :) imported from oregon from years ago. I told him about it last night and its as soft as the bunny he rubs on his eyes and when I set him down he went right to sleep for a good nap. I love him so much. ..slf superfoods - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2224]slf on Sun Sep 05 2004 23:04 ([2225]got somethin to say?) ([2226]Link) Ok, muh baby has tasted the ultimate juice. No allergic reaction. Superfood by odwalla contains pretty much every fruit there is. He was very very happy and liked it so much he was begging for more unlike some of the other things he has tasted. Sweet. We'll try the v8 test eventually. :) ..slf grandpa looks so proud - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2227]slf on Sat Sep 04 2004 22:04 ([2228]got somethin to say?) ([2229]Link) This is a really genuine moment for grandpa:) ..slf snackin with grandpa - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2230]slf on Sat Sep 04 2004 22:01 ([2231]got somethin to say?) ([2232]Link) Snackin with grandpa ..slf orion digged the hotel bed - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2233]slf on Sat Sep 04 2004 21:52 ([2234]got somethin to say?) ([2235]Link) He was so comfy he became really chatty! ..slf registering at the hotel - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2236]slf on Sat Sep 04 2004 21:50 ([2237]got somethin to say?) ([2238]Link) They had some trouble with the reservation but got it worked out. Sarita put it best :) /the hotel was completely booked even though they made them online and they suggested my folks go to a sister hotel but they didn't have a car and they thought the baby was staying in the room and they gave my parents the managers room.. How bout SHE go stay at the sister hotel. Hehe./ ..slf gma reachin for her grandson - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2239]slf on Sat Sep 04 2004 21:41 ([2240]got somethin to say?) ([2241]Link) ..slf still waitin for gma/gpa - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2242]slf on Sat Sep 04 2004 21:40 ([2243]got somethin to say?) ([2244]Link) ..slf waiting for gma and gpa to show up - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2245]slf on Sat Sep 04 2004 21:32 ([2246]got somethin to say?) ([2247]Link) We were so tired we passed out waiting for them. ..slf squirls and acorns - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2248]slf on Sat Sep 04 2004 21:30 ([2249]got somethin to say?) ([2250]Link) I don't think you can really make it out but there is a little squirl I was hooking up with acorns in this picture. ..slf yeah yeah Posted by [2251]slf on Fri Sep 03 2004 15:27 ([2252]got somethin to say?) ([2253]Link) hehe.. She said to him I wouldn't be laughing about that if I were you and He said back to her /yeah yeah./ .. hehe! ..slf smiles - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2254]slf on Fri Sep 03 2004 11:58 ([2255]got somethin to say?) ([2256]Link) Smiles too :) ..slf wow - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2257]slf on Fri Sep 03 2004 11:55 ([2258]got somethin to say?) ([2259]Link) Big eyes :) ..slf another orion wazzup - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2260]slf on Fri Sep 03 2004 11:52 ([2261]got somethin to say?) ([2262]Link) :) wazzzup orion is so happy when he and I hangout every morning Posted by [2263]slf on Fri Sep 03 2004 11:42 ([2264]got somethin to say?) ([2265]Link) I love this kid. He's awesome! ..slf bought groceries, now im calling it a night. - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2266]slf on Fri Sep 03 2004 02:50 ([2267]got somethin to say?) ([2268]Link) For about 60 bucks I picked up some bread, some cheese, some bagels, some creamcheese, some milk, some cereal, some eggs, some baby formula, some oj, and some superfood. Sarita is going to be pleased tomorrow morning. My parents are coming to visit this weekend to see us and the baby, the house looks great, and I am looking forward to see them. Friday I have to visit san francisco to secure the final installment of my tread water funds. There better not be any bs. Rent is due immediately and there is a lot to manage around the house and for the baby. I have been speaking with a growing number of ongoing clients and have been anticipating making as many clients happy at the same time hopefully with retained services. I want to change direction and try and not assign exclusivity rights anymore. Trying to be diplomatic in maintaining multiple client obligations effectively is a grand musical stitchwork. Its the time in my career to think about building out that rolodex. I am really enjoying being in the loop of who is doing what all the time, it really gives me a feeling of massive scale nurturing. A 15 minute phonecall has the ability to change someones life forever. Goodnight. Thank you for everything. I am very thankful for your challenges and I am very thankful that you keep things interesting. ..slf before his shots - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2269]slf on Thu Sep 02 2004 13:54 ([2270]got somethin to say?) ([2271]Link) He has no idea he's getting shots in five minutes. Poor guy. ..slf knock knock - automagic photo publishing from my treo 600 Posted by [2272]slf on Thu Sep 02 2004 10:57 ([2273]got somethin to say?) ([2274]Link) I woke up this morning and when I went in Orion's room he knocked on the wall to say hello:) it was cute so we'z chillin now. ..slf this moblogging is just so awesome Posted by [2275]slf on Wed Sep 01 2004 22:31 ([2276]got somethin to say?) ([2277]Link) Wow. I feel so liberated. Its really awesome to have an entire news publishing system in the palm of your hand or the bottom of your pocket. Its the only piece of technology I carry around anymore and it really is eye opening to be able to think like this. Pictures tell stories. Pictures break the ice. Pictures are anchors to words and feelings. And there is no more manual labor on my part logging into crap or editing crap or trying to be creative in a non-pico/nano environment. I have accepted the treo cognitively and have incorporated it into my writing ambitions. So whenever I have a moment i'll jump into story telling mode. I'll share a moment. The things I wrote and implemented are not standard treo *or* sprint features. And once again I am pioneering something. Its not livejournal. I wrote it all myself, and I appreciate it deeply. So... Until the next thought, eh? :) ..slf [2278]Read More... (1 comments) automagic photo publishing live from my treo 600 Posted by [2279]slf on Wed Sep 01 2004 15:44 ([2280]got somethin to say?) ([2281]Link) woot! Ok so my automagic photo journal publishing system for PSG using my treo 600 is complete. Check me out. ..slf I acquired two green DEC vt420's Posted by [2282]slf on Tue Aug 24 2004 19:18 ([2283]got somethin to say?) ([2284]Link) I acquired two green DEC vt420's, they are pretty much the best VT DEC ever made. You may remember seeing something like them in public or law libraries or pharmacies or universities. They do 132x48 @ 70Hz and were made in 1989. I had to make my own cables for them, bolt-chopping the 'jack' part of a 4-wire phone cable off so it would fit in the 6-pin DEC jack (it fits), crossing the grounds for the transmit & receive wire pairs together into one, attaching that to pin 7. And then attaching transmit + to 2, and transmit - to 3. The cable I built (jury rigged?) doesnt seem to run at 38.4k or 19.2k very well when transfering bulk data. I'm going to be stuck running it at 9600 baud. But they're good terminals. I have been noticing alot of interesting traffic from corporations lately. If you are going to take the time to explore things I have written, would you consider speaking with me on the phone as well? I am allways interested in speaking with research agencies. meditation for the moment Posted by [2285]slf on Tue Aug 17 2004 23:20 ([2286]got somethin to say?) ([2287]Link) # populating a hash from a string regex transform (key $1=>$2) $string = "--param1 blabla --param2 bla bla blo"; print "string = <$string>\n"; my %newhash = $string =~ /--(\w+)\s+(.*?(?=\s*$|\s*--))/go; for (sort keys %newhash) { print "$_ = <$newhash{$_}>\n"; } # populating a hash from a mapped regex array transform (key $1=>$2) # instead of working in the context of a while() and having two arrays .. # also trying to use as many backwards lexical methods as possible open LS, "/bin/ls -s |"; @ls = ; close LS; chomp @ls; s/^\s+// for @ls; s/^(\d+)\s+(.*)$/$2 $1/ for @ls; %crazyhash = map{ /^(.*?)\s(\d+)$/ } @ls; for (sort keys %crazyhash) { print "$_ = <$crazyhash{$_}>\n"; } digital fisherman Posted by [2288]slf on Thu Jul 22 2004 16:50 ([2289]got somethin to say?) ([2290]Link) As of late I have become a digital fisherman. Thanks for the inspiration Dad. Fishing for traffic. Fleecing the bait. Reeling in the calls. Adaptation to retain the edge. Agents to fish for content. Simplicity of presentation. The similarities to the pattern of success are astounding to ones fishing philosophies. Its out there, you just have to find it. New: ([2291]autodonkey) ([2292]ALTERNATE CODE VIEW) Hoarding: links-automation-scripted. things i can't implement due to geospatial discrimination Posted by [2293]slf on Wed Jul 07 2004 22:58 ([2294]got somethin to say?) ([2295]Link) * my solar power equipment. [heavy capacity deep cycle marine battery, 3A dioded 250-1000 mAH 12VDC rectangle solar panel] it would get really good coverage if it werent for the layout of the house. it emits hydrogen when the battery is charging (although at these charging levels it would be very minimal).. suitable for outdoor but not so suitable for say, a closet. * my radio equipment. [5 foot light-saber omni antenna, 15dBi through 26dB transmit, 1-4W eirp] it would cover the entire neighborhood but there's no suitable place outside to mount it and the only alternative wall is adjacent to the baby, so I couldn't put it anywhere there. outdoor only. my controlling router (something with a one or many pcmcia cardslots and at least a 400mhz proc or greater (of any kind)) as stands currently sucks and is falling apart but could benefit from being armoured and bolted down to a reinforced surface. generates heat. * why cant they both go in a plastic bucket. i inherited a library Posted by [2296]slf on Sat Jul 03 2004 15:45 ([2297]got somethin to say?) ([2298]Link) I inherited a library of approximately 60 C & UNIX titles from a legal forfeiture. someone *threw away* 60 titles of some of the most classic and thorough and complete books on C and UNIX that I have ever seen. they just packed up and moved away and forefeited these wonderful books. i would never let books like these out of my sight. all of a sudden just this whole library of books fell into my posession. *legal forefeiture!* someones whole lifes bread and butter that they just threw away. I can't believe that! I get to give these books a good home. So now I have acomplete science technology library of approx 160~ titles. I just cant put a price on a book collection like mine now, its invaluable. I have almost every perl book and many other inspirational books on my shelf, but I just inherited the following: unix guide for dos users *ha ha!* peter norton's guide to unix java! perl5 howto local area networks arechitectures and implementations transitors circuit approximations programming perl mastering c++ programing microcontrollers in c using assembly language unix in a nutshell scientific c++: building numerical libraries the object oriented way exploring the unix system 2nd edition unix shell programming teach yourself c cgi programming in c and perl borland c++ techniques and utilities programming in c microcomputing ?? computing fundamentals c++ the guide to sql server tcp/ip and related protocols programming perl learning perl signal processing in c unix system adm handbook unix system V release 4 essential systems administration essential systems administration unix step by step unix in a nutshell unix 2nd edition unix networking sed & awk tcp/ip network administration managing internet information services c++ the complete reference c/c++ for c programmers understanding distributed computing environments understanding c c complete reference c by dissection c plimer plus network programming in c depicitation of my communication implementations (external/internal/radio nets) Posted by [2299]slf on Mon Jun 21 2004 10:20 ([2300]got somethin to say?) ([2301]Link) * connecting to... {the internet at large} * connecting acrost... {comcast hsi cable, asynch 3000kbit downstream ~256kbit upstream, outbound ceiling @ 192kbit (75%)} * NAT routing provided by... {2.4ghz 533mhz fsb linux box w/1GB ram - compressing tunneling dynamic-prioritization wonder-NAT} * prioritization style... {8 bands of traffic, each connection begins in the highest priority band. based on the amount of data in transit at various intervals (0k-250k-800k-8m-25m-50m-100m-200m+) the connection dynamicly is re-prioritized into less-interactive, bulkier bands. under heavy load it is quite interactive for ssh and web browsing and other smaller-packet communication, it is handling very smoothly under saturated high packet per second load. to explain more about the bands, starting out in the highest priority and moving onward we have: 1Kbit express band, (special: 192Kbit high-priority overriding band), 28Kbit default band, 57Kbit bulk band, 96Kbit heavy bulk band, and four 1Kbit low-priority insane bulk rediculous bulk etc bands.. also, they all borrow available bandwidth from one another and high priority gets first dibs.} * prioritized by... {sfq htb connbytes method QoS ([2302]p2pshaper)} * attached to... {a really old die-hard linksys 100mbit fdx workgroup network switch} * which provides connectivity to... {1 gigantic personal network-attached-cryptographic-storage vault, 1 high-power outdoor radio control server, 1 really fast windows gaming box and various people in the neighborhood - estimated household coverage ~140 dwellings.} * which also covers... {notable line of site locations: can see summit slightly south of HWY-17, can see slightly north of HWY-17.. perfect for bouncing something over the hill} * because the radio rig... {is a 5 foot long 15dBi omni-directional light-sabre shaped antenna, rigged to a 200mW[26dBm] engenius/saneo 2511 EXT2 prism2.5 card, also including a second prism 2.5 card. both do hostap. both cards also posess enhanced receive sensitivity.. providing connectivity to a substancial chunk of the neighborhood..} hacking away at new things Posted by [2303]slf on Sun Jun 20 2004 14:14 ([2304]got somethin to say?) ([2305]Link) * man. the new iptables stuff is cool. the htb p2pshaper project (p2pshaper.sourceforge.net) is awesome. connbytes is awesome. it tells how long something has been transfering traffic and reprioritizes things to punish them the longer they've been running. it splits your bandwidth into 0k-20k/20k-250k/250k-1M/1M-5M/5M-10M/10M-25M/25M-50M/50M++ band blocks. * too bad its not in the 2.6 kernel officially yet. it looks slicker than any other QoS i've used to date. * linus is too busy being a rose sniffing tree hugger! ha! [he just moved to oregon.. can't blame you.] ;) * i'm allways chasing some fucking bleeding edge kernel patch, its annoying. :) daily bits Posted by [2306]slf on Fri Jun 18 2004 21:18 ([2307]got somethin to say?) ([2308]Link) * i feel so liberated having cable and a packet shaper. * no more radiation and no more phone wires. one big fat fucking wire. damnit. * going in circles is to be expected.. stating what we already know.. stating our assumptions.. refactoring our perceptions.. checking our variables.. . [that's 50% or more of the point of this blog, isin't it?] * bought groceries. i have gone through short periods of time of not buying them. i just got a thing for triple cheeseburgers sometimes, but the per meal costs are doubled eqivilantly.. [those dollars wont last forever..] * this morning when i woke up the cable was active. its getting 377-400k/sec and about 50k/s - i'm stoked * me having bandwidth paves the way for giftd automation. archive auto generation. i need technology to just 'reel things in' that look like shoes, yellow hats, and the like. * my network switch may be obsolete. i believe i need something with more of a backplane. or i need to start doing ether-channeling inside the house. my switch needs to be able to handle fast packet exchanges. right now it doesnt, exactly. * my house network needs upgrades. i need to be running gigabit to get line speed out of my disks over the network. 10mb/sec isin't cutting it. * buying cartons of cigarettes vs. packs of cigarettes saves the average person 20$ [i wish i could quit smoking] * my dad's birthday came and past on the 10th. dont stress over this okay pops? i wished you a happy birthday regardless. * an individual's online representation goes through many stages of maturity and evolution of thinking, evolution of action, of perception.. much like growing up as a real person, although independant of that progress * after 13 years of growing up "on" (.. not with) the internet, i am becoming cynical. * i can almost forensicly pin how long someone has been online after analyzing just small pieces of information about them. trivial things. deductive reasoning, if you were Mr. Watson. * or for how long they've been doing any one thing, to be quite honest with you.. * ...what they're asking about, what they disclose about themselves, what they're called, what size words and how many they use... * a poet, a writer, a sculptor... may become exhausted very quickly being exposed to a room full of overly enthusiasitic newbies (mental children, so to speak?) - newcomers - I suppose that doing any one thing for 10+ years excommunicates an individual from the free and equal open exchange of ideas. as an equal. emphasis on that equal part. its just not easy for people to accept conversing with exile intelligent freaks that dont have outlets or steady peers. * there is a major learning curve at work here. * i feel like the last unix guy on earth, put here to architect crap because i interact with so few unix persons on a daily basis. i stopped hanging around geeky people and did my own thing for many years, and when i came back into contact with other folks i didn't realize it but i was running.. they were walking and i was running.. i was running with it, trying to do build upon the knowledge.. * i feel put here to innovate create and inspire. to leave a mark in billions of daily interactions. the moments with subtle influences. * fucking noobs. * it's alot like wanting to scream and not having a voice or an audience.. or having the loudest voice imaginable, but nobody's listening.. or the loudest voice imaginable but nobody understands the words you're using, the concept's you're explaining.. ["waste of breath", "waste of time" ..] * did i mention that I grew up on the internet? * I didn't exactly say that I grew up "with the internet".. I just said that I grew up *on the internet*.. * a required survival trait keeps resurfacing: Analogies for everything. Visualizations for everything. An explanation that will work for any private audience, custom tailored for the receiver. Taking what you know and extrapolating nouns and verbs from those sets that will help reinforce what I want to show you using things you already know and have seen and understand. Becoming like socrates, creatively and eloquently creating visualizations and analogies. painting the canvas with the overtones... dribble Posted by [2309]slf on Thu Jun 17 2004 13:54 ([2310]got somethin to say?) ([2311]Link) * tetrised the living room furniture * got my radio automated [is a wonderfully performing backup] * got my NAS box squared away - 550gb capac. thermally spread out to a cooler machine * comcast HSI in my neighborhood has been a joke, they put signs on peoples doors and the rep on the phone said it was good to go, but they couldn't deliver the goods man, i've put tons of hours into waiting on them and trying to coordinante campbell's maintenance upgrades to 2 way HSI. any day now.. * touched up the resume a tid * my CL semi-weekly autoposter still works, however my auto-publisher (the thing that eats the email) needs adjusting, its not cycling out my old postings properly. * i set up my vicam as the security perimeter defense for my house, it records small mpg movies that it assembles anytime someone moves on the screen. it has good auto-noise adjusting and auto-white balancing (using motion 3.1.x) * i wrote an archival tool for these mpg motions * i'm going to write a janitorial tool when they get to an adequate ballpark size * the machine is going to be locked in the house somewhere hidden. * the house will be tamperproof without my knowledge * my treo600 has really been rocking lately, apIRC (irc client) and Verichat (aim/msn/yahoo) for two people on the same device (hehe since we have no semisafe net access otherwise) * the only downside is that while it is on the net it cant accept phonecalls. which is great after 11pm when no one is calling anyway. * can't sleep [someone's gotta think ahead, you know?] * can't sleep [mental anguish / emotional suffering too man!] - worried - curable: administer employment. the market is awesome right now Posted by [2312]slf on Thu Jun 17 2004 13:32 ([2313]got somethin to say?) ([2314]Link) the market is really awesome right now, people are calling enough to give me a stready stream of hope. i got a couple of suprise phone calls too. people are really hanging in there, folks are sticking together and folks are sticking up for me. the support means something to me. i have a feeling things will turn around soon i have a feeling will be better then they have ever been super sentient ex-spies Posted by [2315]slf on Wed Jun 02 2004 16:39 ([2316]got somethin to say?) ([2317]Link) I have learned to keep my location secretive. It will not be publicly available. I have reasonable belief & suspicion that my car was broken into by an old friend. I would not press charges if *any* of that stuff is returned. I just want my old laptop back man! my body's jacked up Posted by [2318]slf on Tue Jun 01 2004 13:08 ([2319]got somethin to say?) ([2320]Link) I'm really worn out from all the moving, I have scar tissue which built up around my elbows and my torso. I am not an ant. I should not carry half my weight for any reason. it'll make sense eventually Posted by [2321]slf on Fri May 28 2004 16:27 ([2322]got somethin to say?) ([2323]Link) A whole lot of shit has transpired in a very short time frame. Everything has changed. We have to move (acrost the street), Orion is getting his own bedroom now. Our finances will be strapped here pretty soon unless I get my shit together and pull together on a new venture. We have a 2 month old baby man. Now is not the best time to be moving around a child, right when he is discovering out things about his environment and learning where stuff is, where stuff goes, what does what. his whole sense of organization is going to be confused. Suffice to say it will be wonderful when we get to the new place in the next couple of days. I will try to only see the positive in this. I'm changing jobs, too. In the last couple of weeks I have shown alot of bravery and courage. Sticking up for what you believe in comes at a pretty expensive price. I did manage to get a bank account established. Things are going to turn around. Just gotta act quickly before something dire happens. This family is depending on me. stuff installed on my treo 600 Posted by [2324]slf on Wed May 12 2004 00:37 ([2325]got somethin to say?) ([2326]Link) On my Treo 600 I have the following things active: Adobe Reader [for pdf reading on the palm] Air Ball [breakout game] AnimalFarm2 [orwellian game] BART [bay area rapid transit trip planner and system map] BeepMaker [tone generation (very primitive)] Biz Conn [ssl+imap4 or exchange] Bubbles [clone game, similar to bust a move game] Calc [scientific builtin palmos 5.2 calculator] Calendar [day planner] Card Info [for interfacing with my 512mb SD card] Chatter [aim/msn/yahoo/icq/imap/pop client] Checkers [game] Converter [utility, unit of measurement converter] D&D Helper [dice roller, experience calculator, movement cost calculator] Dir Assist [pqa: directions form, does not serve as decent 411 alternative] DKong Jr [cheap ass clone of the tiger handheld donkey kong] Documents To Go [read and write word, excel, simple powerpoint] Electrist [Electricity calculus functions] Eponyms [cryptic doctor surgeon medical lingo] Exodus [was a game i think, crashes my palm so I use it as a software reset] Fishing X [simple fishing game, is easy to outgrow] Fun Cam [interval time lapse spy webcam using the treo 600 camera] Hand/RSS [news feed reader, like downloading the paper on the way to work] HandZipper [access to the .zip format, can install prc/pdb's from web urls] iching [Consult the chinese oracle.] Jedi [Consult master yoda.] eDrugsDatabase [Translation of medicines to their generic equivilant] KeyCaps600 [modified input hack] Klondike [game] MacroPlay [macro recorder] Memo Pad [i dont use, instead put things in the calendar chronologically] Minibar [Bartender database. Thorough. Awesome.] Minutes PLUS [Plan usage calculator] NoviRemote [use treo 600 as tv remote, cant find comcast digital cable support] PacDude100 [pacman clone, fun, somewhat difficult ;)] PalmVNC [1x/2x/4x scaling vnc session over very slow link. Slow.] Pinballz [3d pinball game] PrintMe [Printing to a Fax Machine] Prison [game, breakout clone] pssh [3des-cbc ssh2 client, holds connection very reliably] pTunes [24kbit/32kbit shoutcast streams, very chunky and lagged] Qset [JPEG compression ratio setting, '90' renders good results in 100k images] Radio Control [automatic wireless mode enabling, quiet time from 3am-6am] Sandman [hack to turn the backlight off during a call, should be standard] Scorched Palm [the tank game from way back in the day ala scorched earth] CallShield [deflecting calls straight to voicemail] Sketcher [doodling app] Skinner [making the dialer buttons look a little better] SkyChart [skychart, night-mode, constellation location] SMS [sending sms messages to peoples cell phones] SnapperMail [1.9.2, doesnt have imap4+ssl support] SplashID/Money/Shopping [tracks things, i dont use it] Spy Hunter [kindof old school game] SuperWaba [virtual machine program] Tetris [gotta have tetris] TreoButler [treo600 utility to hack the leds and other stuff] TreoGuard [treo600 utility to reinforced keyguard] TreoHelper [treo600 utility for internal network functions (shows coverage)] TreoOffOn [treo600 daylight and night mode tool] VCig [virtual cigarette] VeriChat [aim/msn/yahoo/icq proxied chat client (decent)] Yoda [Consult master yoda for Answers or Jedi Wisdom.] Zap!2016 [gradius space fighting game] awareness principal Posted by [2327]slf on Fri May 07 2004 10:00 ([2328]got somethin to say?) ([2329]Link) becoming aware of someone becoming aware of you is a science, an art, a powerful heuristic, stage fright.. there is almost a science to it. why? cashing checks in america these days Posted by [2330]slf on Sat May 01 2004 14:15 ([2331]got somethin to say?) ([2332]Link) its pretty much impossible to cash checks and do business in america these days: banks stop cashing checks from 3rd parties banks stop selling cashiers checks banks dont share their signature card with other banks to verify people dont list a real phone number on checks so someone can veirfy it cant pay out my formerly closed bank account and re open it by turning the debt into a positive number [2333]Read More... (1 comments) simple truths Posted by [2334]slf on Fri Apr 30 2004 18:54 ([2335]got somethin to say?) ([2336]Link) Alright so I seem to be reminded of another simple truth I discovered at the inseption of this log.. If you think you will ever know me better than I know myself, you will be wrong every time. 100 percent of every occurance. See, I'm getting savvy at controlling perception. I let you know what I want you to know. I let you see what I want you to see. I let you hear what I want you to hear. Get the idea? So basicly it boils down to this, just when you think I am predictable I will surprise you. Just when things are going great I will fuck them up, when things are going south I will turn them around and head north. Constant change, maximum interlinked spheres of skill development. Wisdom carries the ultimate price. Personal sacrifice. Throwing ones self into the shit of it all. Learning everything the hard way. Growing strong by being weak. Carrying weight beyond your strength, over-exerting yourself. Dancing in the moment, living every day like it was your last day on earth. Allways figuring something out at the last minute. Throwing yourself into the unknown with time commitments you can't make good on. Shaving minutes. Herding cats. Spidering things from the shadows. Respecting the virtues of the spotlight and the shadows as equally practical viewpoints. Making your own boxes instead of having them given to you. Expanding the box. Breaking out of the box. Refusing to return to inside the box existance. Irrevocable genius. Unconditional freedom. Unequivocable purpose. that damn virus on saritas computer Posted by [2337]slf on Thu Apr 22 2004 11:15 ([2338]got somethin to say?) ([2339]Link) I dont get it. On Sarita's box, with the ethernet cable plugged in, when I ran the windows XP install CD I noticed that the blinky-light for Sarita's computer was going haywire. I thought it was behind a private network at the time. I noticed something called mshe1p.exe later after things were booted, and I killed it to no avail, blinky light still going, Crazy! I'm going to redo the box. How it got on the machine is damn peculiar even to my mind. How can this be? Chuckle. I think I got hacked while the *installer* was running when it was publicly connected to the internet! Haha! Windows users everywhere are really getting it these days! How on earth can anyone plug a windows box directly into the internet? Cause and effect man! It's a negligent moral crime! Everything should be behind a NAT. I mean I'm really noticing a trend that publicly accessable windows machines have dire and grave consequences. When you really think about it, private addressing is a survival tactic. At first everyone wanted static IP's and then ISP's began allocating people with dynamics. So people adapted to support more machines for less money and began using masquarading instead of paying for more IP addresses for direct access. If you're clever about tunneling and cheese-holeing you can pretty much do whatever it is you want. So trusting back then though! So therefore: Who needs IPv6 anyway? We have enough addresses! IPv4 provides for enough IP addresses for everyone and everything to hide behind! Enough with that. liquid plans of action Posted by [2340]slf on Tue Apr 20 2004 16:26 ([2341]got somethin to say?) ([2342]Link) I pay money to drive there every day. I pay money to park there every day. I pay money for health insurance that Sarita can't use freely (no car), and I dont pay money for health insurance I cant use (mine). I am about to pay money for my baby to have health insurance too. The bottom line is going down. And I worked out a plan with my boss to get these benefits (parking and health insurance) taken care of, 50% co-pay on the premium and parking included. The weighted reccomendation was shot down, can't go treating someone special, can't break away from the norm, no no.. And something else happened (somebody complained about my car) so I'm parking out of the lot for a little while. What the hell? coffee Posted by [2343]slf on Sat Apr 17 2004 20:10 ([2344]got somethin to say?) ([2345]Link) went to coffee with lincoln, he's doin pretty good. here's his blurb: wangarific man wheres my ; and my | and my \ Posted by [2346]slf on Fri Apr 16 2004 12:03 ([2347]got somethin to say?) ([2348]Link) the only gripe i have about the treo 600 is that i dont have easy access to a ; a | or a \. i need ;'s for chaining commands and coding and |'s for piping data and \'s for protecting characters. [2349]Read More... (1 comments) synchronized treo pictures Posted by [2350]slf on Fri Apr 16 2004 09:03 ([2351]got somethin to say?) ([2352]Link) I am synchronizing the pictures from my treo directly to [2353]http://dreamscape.org/treo/, you can [2354]view them anytime you like. [2355]Read More... (1 comments) sweet dreams Posted by [2356]slf on Fri Apr 16 2004 00:32 ([2357]got somethin to say?) ([2358]Link) Had a pretty good day, basicly about to call it a night. I am constantly buying baby formula. 6$ a can. 8 servings per can. 1 serving every 3 to 4 hrs. He listens in on peoples conversations and peeks from his slumber when people are talking about him. I crave the outdoors --- ALSO IMPORT FROM UTR Posted by [2359]slf on Thu Apr 15 2004 15:29 ([2360]got somethin to say?) ([2361]Link) I need to find some parks nearby to take Orion and Sarita to one of these weekends, I need to see some birds water trees woodland-creatures and breathe some fresh air. sunlight anyone? My parents are going to be here next week. Too bad there aren't any places to take the old man Fishin'. # 20040405091147 - - - the zen of 2 dollars I woke up this morning to see someone donated 2$ to dsc. Ahaha it made my damn day. # 20040404164729 - - - things that occupy Next on the priorities list is a phat pack of C batteries for things that swing, things that bounce, things that rock, things that vibrate. Sometimes he wakes and wants to be held, wants some affection.. Which means that he usually falls asleep in your arms. When set down, little noises stir him, and these C cell powered devices are like kryptonite for alertness.. within moments his eyes are closed and he is asleep. Wonderful inventions. # 20040326112922 - - - damnit My car got broken into this morning. 1) PowerBook G4 stolen. 2) Laptop bag stolen. 3) Hospital birth records in that laptop bag. 4) MP3CD stereo stolen. 5) Neighbors car also broken into. 6) Neighbors stereo stolen. 7) Neighbors mp3-cd-changer stolen. The PowerBook had security-mode full on, and is now basicly useless. They didn't take the charger for it. The PowerBook had a lojack-equivilant merlin g300 gprs/gsm card through t-mobile, t-mobile has voulenteered to track the card down to the street it is on. So if they turn on the laptop within the next 24 hours it will narq their position to the police. This did not work out. T-mobile does not have full E911 capability. Damnit. # 20040310071207 - - - today is my childs birthday ITS A BOY!!!!!!!! 8 lbs, 1 oz, 20.5", healthy, cute as a button, i luvs him vury much! http://dreamscape.org/baby/ My (daughter|son) will be born today! We checked into the hospital at 4am, she's already got the epidural going. Just a matter of hours now. :) Hop hop hop! # 20040308205717 - about to have the baby Less than 24 hours to go until I'm a father. Update tuesday: 1 visit to the hospital's labor & delivery unit, we were sent home after 6 hours of 'monitoring', we have to wait tonight. She's going to have this baby either late in the evening / early morning or definitely before tomorrow morning. # 20040218233149 - - - the grass allways looks greener on the other side I suppose I have a audience to write to. That's what the web log says anyway, mmm see.. I'm consuming beer number two, relaxing spending my evening at home, showered finally. I'm considering growing my hair out once the baby is born. What a long road to workable hair. I keep outgrowing hats. Definitely time to shift major gears in life. Every decision I make is going to affect another human beings shaping, every decision I don't make is also going to affect another human beings shaping. Scary weighing algorithm to be sure. I want to be the cool parent. But I want to be the 'right' kind of parent too, whatever that is. I'm playing the whole thing by ear, going to take things one day at a time. I still can't seem to find the hour a day that it takes to reflect upon the moment, I try and sneak one in whenever I feel guilty about it, like I'm not writing enough. I have got to stop whining about not writing enough. It's bad for content. Ahhhh so Campbell... Campbell... I'm going to take my landlady and the owner of my apartment complex to court for retaliation, we had mold in our old apartment and went through this whole mediation process (city services) to avoid going to court over the whole incident, trying to demonstrate a mutual reassurance that good faith still existed in our rental contract. But apparently that's fallen to pieces... See, it's illegal to retaliate against a tenant for excercising their legal rights (such as "punishing a tenant" for an agreement reached in a mediation process) - The management company wrote into our settlement contract that our rent was to raise to "market value" for our apartment (currently it is below market value) - they're advertising on the internet for 900-925$, and the last known standard price for the unit we are in is/was 950$... we are being punished and our rent is being increased to 995$, singling us out as the only tenants in a 1 bedroom / 1.5 bath townhome with this new price in rent. The landlord is trying to make "more money" on us then other people to make up for "taking a loss" for 3 months. Which according to the law is automaticly presumed retaliation since we recently went through a mediation process (within 180 days of a mediation an act such as this) it is automaticly retaliation. We can get a 'bad faith' award, a 'retaliation' award, and potentially could open up the legal concerns from our old apartment (in the same complex) because the contract we came up with has already been breached. So If I just get up enough courage to go to small claims court I pretty much have an automatic win since the burden of unequivocable proof falls on the management company proving that it is not retaliating against us, which is obvious since there are no rental units being advertised at this time at the price they are attempting to charge us. It is AUTOMATICLY presumed retaliation if any event like this takes place within 180 days of exercising a legal right. In other news, there are 3 apartments next to ours that also have faulty plumbing and water damage on the ceiling, indicative of toxic / cancer causing mold hidden in the ceiling. I am toying with the notion of calling the District Attorney in our area and seeing what he thinks about beginning a class action lawsuit against our complex for criminal negligence for failing to address a life threatening health problem in a professional and thourough manner. We have a baby on the way. Our neighbors have a child. They are getting sick in an idencital way to the way we got sick. We gave a chunk of the ceiling to Dr. Alcheck at the mediation process so he has had ample time to have the sample analyzed. One girl moved out because she had vertigo from the spores. I want revenge. I am tired of being walked on and milked for money by people who think that I'm too weak to fight them in a court of law. Pre-paid legal is a company (yes "Pre-paid legal") that you pay 25$ a month for full retained legal services (it's kindof like a health insurance policy), we can get the case handled decent enough if things go beyond a small claims environment (which only has a 2500$ award limit per person)... so the jig is up, and it's time to strike back before things get out of control. No illegal provision in a contract is binding. And no contract signed under duress is binding. (threat of eviction unless an agreement is reached meets the definition of under duress - and potentially extortion and racketeering).. We shal see where this goes. Also, I noticed that my 'journal' program forgot to sort @journalz before reversing it. Fixed. Now things will appear in sequence. I'm really thrilled about finally having regex color highlighting in nano. Now I can edit in a dazzling 16 colors! Hurray! I really should get to bed, there's a big day on the horizon tomorrow. (isin't there allways?:) # 20040208191001 - - - shaping paths for the future Things are really working out. I got to see pictures of our baby today, I saw the heart pounding away, and the kidney, and the femur bone. Less than 3 weeks to go! The baby is really a healthy weight, they haven't said there were any problems at all. I'm afraid of counting my chickens before they hatch but so far things look good. I get all emotional when I actually see the baby moving around, it's hard to personify its arrival until it's right there in front of my eyes. Must choose a name. The baby must have a name. The day the baby is born and the gender of the baby are big factors for figuring out what to call him/her.. I'm so excited about being a daddy! I could have been told the baby's sex but Sarita wanted it to be a suprise and I couldn't see anything painfully obvious one way or the other. I dont know which cigars to buy 'its a boy' or 'its a girl'.. hee hee. Tradition and ritual takes over when the baby comes about. So we found that there's a 0$ copay to have the delivery with or without complications / cesarian. Very cool. Now just to get muh baby's mama some Taxi money so she can get to the hospital at the last minute. # 20040208131807 - - - continuing... I set my journal up again like I had before, local editor w/72 column linewrapping with rsync publishing over gprs. The frontend sets everything up and moves all the files automaticly, I just write. The gprs editor lag over ssh is slower then 300 baud for the response times.. the latency is ~1000ms each way practicly, but it works. So syncing files is the right way to push the information. Weekend turned out OK. It will definitely be baby time any time now. # everything else how to start a blog when you've sworn off blogging [ in progress ] Febuary 8th 2004: I am sitting on some steps at the pier in Santa Cruz, these steps descend straight into the ocean! It's pretty cool. GPRS works pretty much everywhere. The waves are crashing onto the steps and the scene is prety tranquil. The sounds are soothing. I'm glad we ventured out here for the evening. Maybe having a wireless card will in the end make me write journals at odd places. I miss that. Travel pointing adventure, eh? Febuary 5th 2004: I have drank the ultimate juice. I discovered it mixing V8 (tomatos, carrots, beets, parsley, lettuce, watercress, spinach) with Odwalla Superfood (apples, peaches, mangoes, strawberries, bananas, wheat grass, barley grass, wheat sprouts, jerusalem artichoke) - The combination is the ultimate mega mega juice. I'm mixing more on the superfood side and a little less on the V8 side. The most things I've ever consumed in one glass. January 15th 2004: I am probably not going to be able to take the train. The drive is 45 minutes faster then the train could get me there... Leaving in the morning before 7:20am has rendered the best results getting there, I have yet to figure out the best time for the return trip. The drive there takes 45 minutes. The drive home can be as bad as 1h 30m. 5-7pm is such a wildcard for drivers leaving work commuting home. January 10th 2004: I am really interested in making more journal content split up amongst categories, a journal for myself, one for my child, one for work, one for the public. I may take the train in the morning and write to myself, or take reason 2.5 on the train to work with headphones. The vocoder is so cool. Speech reprocessing. January 10th 2004: Started a new job yesterday, am commuting from Campbell to SF in the mornings @ 7am. The company is doing something that is the combination of my last two companies/roles, I have been hired as a multi-disciplined staffer to help out first and foremost with deployment technologies and maintenance and monitoring technologies. This environment bears an identical resemblance to the Napster environment when I first encountered it. Am adjusting. New Years 2004: I'm going to be a father here in a month or two, providing for a family is a very difficult endevor. Less than a couple of months left to go. Can't/wont agree on a name most likely until the the child is born. Dont know if it is a boy or girl yet. I wrote a craigslist autoposter for my resume, posting my resume once every day by automating the entire craigslist post-to-website, read-and-eat-email, follow-webpage-from-the-email process, is comforting when it actually works. I met craig from craigslist outside codecon 2003 and got his permission to write it. It is a crafted tool using a 'recipie' file, One parser engine. I run tdpc all the time and can't use that much bandwidth. These lines are somewhat long, but isin't it odd how delays in packets look alot like music when wrapped around 100 columns? # packets: ...1..1..1..............1.............2..1........1............1..1....1....1....................... (1818b +1818) (11 bursts ) # 2:36pm ..1..1.....1............1.........1..1..1......................1....1.......1.......1..1............ (3582b +1764) (12 bursts ) # .............1.....1.........1......................2..1..1.....................1......1..1........1 (5490b +1908) (9 bursts ) # ............1..1..1..1........................1..1..1........1............1..1..1..1................ (7278b +1788) (13 bursts ) # ......1.....1..1........1.........1......1..1..1............................1....1....1........1.... (8930b +1652) (12 bursts 1) # .........1..1..1..1....................1.....1..1........1............1..1..1......1..............1. (10742b +1812) (13 bursts 1) # 2:38pm ......................1....................1..............1........................1................ (249625b +4618) (4 bursts 2) # ................1..................................1.......................1........................ (254543b +4918) (3 bursts 6) # ............1...........1..1....1..................................1.....................1.......... (258357b +3814) (6 bursts ) # ............1....................................1......................1........1.................. (262303b +3946) (4 bursts 3) # ..1..................1...........................1.................1......1.........1............... (266397b +4094) (6 bursts 1) # .....1..................1.......1.................1............1.................1............1.1... (271359b +4962) (8 bursts ) # ..........1.....................1...........1........1..........1................1..1........1...... (278513b +7154) (8 bursts 1) # ......1......1..1..1.............................1....1..1..........1...........1...1..1..1......... (280215b +1702) (12 bursts 2) # ...........1.....1..1........1............1..1..1..1.............................1..1..1........1... (282065b +1850) (12 bursts 3) # 2:39pm ..........1..1..1..1......................1..1......1........1............1..1.....1......1......... (283855b +1790) (12 bursts 4) # ..............1....1..1........1.........1....1....1....1........................1.......1....1..... (286103b +2248) (11 bursts 2) # ......1..............1..1..1....1..............................................1.................... (291567b +5464) (6 bursts 2) # ...............1......1.........................1.......................1..1..1..1.............1.... (298664b +7097) (8 bursts 2) # .............1..1....................1.............................................................. (332550b +33886) (3 bursts 7) # ...................................1........1...1...1...........1...............1..1........1....... (336898b +4348) (8 bursts 3) # .....1..1..1.....1........................1...1..1.......1..........................1..1..1..1...... (339080b +2182) (12 bursts 5) # 2:40pm ......1............................11.........1........1........1..1......1............1............ (343282b +4202) (9 bursts 1) I havent been writing enough lately, for quite some time now. I am getting older, perhaps it is time to think outside the box. *sigh and a chuckle* you probably want to go back to http://dreamscape.org i generated the fud you're chewing suddenly now its a couple fists of ideas, originally this was to explain why i had sworn off blogging * there are things you may say and do and things you may do and say * there are things you may think and do but dare never say * there are things you may think and say but dare never do * saying and doing are two completely different things * there are things others may think you do and say long after you do not do them or say them; be perfectly clear, and move on * making strong efforts to be invisibile to radars [avoidance] * timelines catch up to you (dogma?) [history repeats itself?] - maybe you need a talkin to, just because you have that huge book doesnt mean you know me better then i know myself. throw away your timeline and your book and know me for the present alone [throw away the memory and throw away the references] it's never a good idea to carry around too much baggage. sometimes the slate must be cleaned and a fresh perspective and destination must be reached. hauling around a book with everything you have said and done in your pocket can force every little thing to become the straw that breaks the camels back. learn to let go. * irresponsibly sentient readers [aka ex-spies] - they allways end up causing problems. they may have been friends and loved ones at one time but now know too much and have written you off because they know you better then you know yourself. when it comes right down to it you dont know shit. they dont know shit. everything is unpredictable and unknown when it comes right down to it and nothing is certain and inevitable and the minute you go around thinking any different you're one step closer to being written off in this classification. * accountability problems [maintaining face] - the crowd and the pack as a whole dont appreciate constant negative influences. nobody likes having an eyeore around all the time. it would coerce the author to be baised in his submissions. * {words for words} vs. {words for X actions} - there are few moments when there are no choices of sufficient words. so why must words be met with actions - what words erode patience with words? * statisticly counting who lost patience first, and why. also when / how frequently / for the same reason each time? * taking the previous issue and chaining another after it - just like a 2x/5x/?? multiplier. be positive - good -> good(2x) -> good(5x) -> good(??).. be high maint - bad -> bad(2x) -> bad(5x) -> bad(??).. be manic - good....good(??) -> bad -> bad(2x) -> bad(5x).. be bipolar - bad -> good -> bad -> good -> bad -> good.. * travel pointing ideas - talking about computers on day one: initializes counter @ 0. talking about computers again on day two: worth 1 point. talking about computers again on day three: worth 1 point. talking about computers again one week later: worth 7 points. now imagine that ideas no one has visited are worth 1000 points. hunting for a rare topic is the bread, butter, and gold of journalism. talking about the same old crap constantly is petty ranting. collecting travel points in various forms is what is called being adventurous! this idea can be used for people, places, etc. seek out objects that reward you with the greatest number of travel points. This is also the process of learning and self discovery! * some things deserve privacy [it's none of your fucking business!] ''Remember me for my successes, not my failures'' if you walk around with a TV-camera, people will act differently the same can be said about carrying a normal camera. Or a notebook. If you admit that you will be documenting everything that happens between yourself and a group of friends like Harriet the Spy you force others to be subject to accountability problems. * cant handle the ideas [it's too much for them] - Watch out! WILD uncontrolable IDEAS. CAUTION: EASY SCAPEGOAT. * guilty by association [watch out for keyword nazi's] - don't give up your right to know a type of person because society forces you to. just because you know someone who has broken away from the norm and has made bad choices does not mean that you support their choices or have made similar choices in your own life. quite the contrary, many friendships and associations are based on opposites. * i like all creatures i have ever encountered was not granted the privilege to pre-determine the length of my stay, my visit, to this existance. i did not choose to live to only 100 years old. i would not choose to be hit by a bus or to have a freak accident. i would choose to live inevitably forever - at least long enough to understand the nature of existance enough to formulate a plan of how much time it would really take to truly understand the universe in one lifetime. if i am sentient only for so long to only narrowly affect anything - therefore i am less of a threat overall. i am a flickering candle in the wind of spacetime existance. * there will never be enough time to experience everything and to see everything and to interact with everything. no matter how hard i or my species will ever try it is impossible to ever break outside of the container that contains all things. i will never see the furthest corner of the universe and i will never know the nature of why i am inside this world. i will never know all of the multiverses and the matricies. all of the miniturizations and the grand scale projects. i may never see space. i may never leave our solar system. i may never leave the milkey way or our universe. i may never imagine of reaching anything further then that in my lifetime. * people who are dicks to you when you're nice to them * do the acts of being (destructive or malevolent) and being (creative or benevolent) require the same ammount of energy? * it should take more effort to be destructive then creative * being creative (benevolent) can come at no effort/cost * being destructive (malevolent) can come at no effort/cost * are you aware of your output levels? [2362]Read More... (2 comments) Posted on Wed Dec 31 1969 16:00 ([2363]Link) -------------------------------------------------------------------------- [ [2364]Home | [2365]Archives | [2366]Search | [2367]RDF Feed | [2368]Administration ] References Visible links 1. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 2. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 3. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1122752459 4. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 5. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 6. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1122747554 7. http://dreamscape.org/ 8. http://dreamscape.org/steven-fountain.txt 9. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 10. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 11. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1122665541 12. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 13. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 14. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1122482956 15. http://dreamscape.org/ 16. http://dreamscape.org/steven-fountain.txt 17. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 18. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 19. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1122472154 20. http://dreamscape.org/ 21. http://dreamscape.org/steven-fountain.txt 22. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 23. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 24. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1122469163 25. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 26. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 27. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1122468648 28. http://dreamscape.org/ 29. http://dreamscape.org/steven-fountain.txt 30. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 31. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 32. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1122467828 33. http://dreamscape.org/ 34. http://dreamscape.org/steven-fountain.txt 35. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 36. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 37. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1122427580 38. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 39. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 40. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1122426795 41. http://dreamscape.org/directions-1280x1024.jpg 42. http://dreamscape.org/ 43. http://dreamscape.org/steven-fountain.txt 44. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 45. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 46. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1122316875 47. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 48. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 49. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1121324430 50. http://dreamscape.org/code/ilf-war.png 51. http://dreamscape.org/code/ilf-war1.png 52. http://dreamscape.org/code/ilf-war-eterm 53. http://dreamscape.org/code/ilf-war 54. http://dreamscape.org/code/ilf 55. http://dreamscape.org/ 56. http://dreamscape.org/steven-fountain.txt 57. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 58. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 59. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1121101136 60. http://dreamscape.org/code/pf 61. http://dreamscape.org/ 62. http://dreamscape.org/steven-fountain.txt 63. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 64. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 65. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1120892317 66. http://dreamscape.org/code/ilf 67. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 68. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 69. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1120891400 70. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 71. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 72. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1120117523 73. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 74. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 75. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1119834375 76. http://dreamscape.org/ 77. http://dreamscape.org/steven-fountain.txt 78. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 79. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 80. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1119311891 81. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 82. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 83. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1119036471 84. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 85. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 86. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1118113017 87. http://dreamscape.org/ 88. http://dreamscape.org/steven-fountain.txt 89. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 90. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 91. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1118045954 92. http://dreamscape.org/ 93. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 94. http://dreamscape.org/steven-fountain.txt 95. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 96. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 97. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1117974152 98. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 99. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 100. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1117855309 101. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 102. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 103. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1117764240 104. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 105. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 106. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1117715228 107. http://evildomain.org/ 108. http://dreamscape.org/stipid/ 109. http://dreamscape.org/ 110. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 111. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 112. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 113. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1117711328 114. http://evildomain.org/user/birdy/stipid.html 115. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 116. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 117. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1117434692 118. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 119. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 120. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1117384791 121. http://dreamscape.org/ 122. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 123. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 124. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 125. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1117380968 126. http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/waisgate?WAISdocID=38047222219+1+0+0&WAISaction=retrieve 127. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1117380968 128. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 129. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 130. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1117376753 131. http://dreamscape.org/ 132. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 133. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 134. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 135. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1117336689 136. http://dreamscape.org/monarch.jpg 137. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 138. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 139. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1117230244 140. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 141. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 142. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1117228622 143. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 144. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 145. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1117168222 146. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 147. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 148. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1117118338 149. http://dreamscape.org/ 150. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 151. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 152. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 153. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1117117993 154. http://dreamscape.org/ 155. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 156. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 157. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 158. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1117115393 159. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 160. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 161. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1116901321 162. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 163. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 164. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1116898073 165. http://dreamscape.org/ 166. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 167. http://epc.buffalo.edu/authors/bernstein/experiments.html 168. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 169. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 170. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1116735333 171. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 172. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 173. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1116732380 174. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 175. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 176. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1116717396 177. http://dreamscape.org/ 178. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 179. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 180. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 181. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1116489001 182. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 183. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 184. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1116488761 185. http://dreamscape.org/ 186. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 187. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 188. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 189. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1116487929 190. http://dreamscape.org/ 191. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 192. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 193. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 194. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1116487507 195. http://dreamscape.org/ 196. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 197. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 198. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 199. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1116275260 200. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 201. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 202. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1116261577 203. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 204. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 205. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1116227224 206. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 207. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 208. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1116199923 209. http://dreamscape.org/ 210. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 211. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 212. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 213. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1116072025 214. http://www.catholic.net/rcc/Periodicals/Homiletic/2000-12/fathers.html 215. http://www.fathermag.com/news/2757-matriarchy-feminism-violence.shtml 216. http://dreamscape.org/ 217. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 218. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 219. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 220. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1115863505 221. http://www.enderunix.org/aget/ 222. http://www.vbip.com/winsock/winsock_http_08_01.asp 223. http://dreamscape.org/slf.jpg 224. http://dreamscape.org/ 225. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 226. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 227. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 228. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1115682047 229. http://dreamscape.org/ 230. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 231. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 232. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 233. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1115529627 234. http://www.media.ebaumsworld.com/pacman.swf 235. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 236. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 237. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1115370728 238. http://dreamscape.org/ 239. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 240. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 241. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 242. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1115274112 243. http://dreamscape.org/ 244. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 245. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 246. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 247. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1115261347 248. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 249. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 250. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1115116533 251. http://dreamscape.org/ 252. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 253. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 254. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 255. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114920130 256. http://www.cse.iitb.ac.in/~atish/quotations.html 257. http://dreamscape.org/ 258. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 259. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 260. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 261. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114920033 262. http://dreamscape.org/ 263. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 264. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 265. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 266. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114919972 267. http://dreamscape.org/ 268. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 269. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 270. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 271. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114919908 272. http://dreamscape.org/ 273. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 274. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 275. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 276. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114919863 277. http://dreamscape.org/ 278. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 279. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 280. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 281. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114919814 282. http://dreamscape.org/ 283. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 284. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 285. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 286. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114919731 287. http://dreamscape.org/ 288. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 289. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 290. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 291. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114919657 292. http://dreamscape.org/ 293. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 294. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 295. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 296. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114919583 297. http://dreamscape.org/ 298. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 299. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 300. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 301. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114918367 302. http://dreamscape.org/ 303. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 304. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 305. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 306. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114681325 307. http://sanjoseyamaha.com/pages/sportbikes/r6.htm 308. http://sanjoseyamaha.com/2005/sport/05_mcy_R6_blk_2_4759.jpg 309. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 310. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 311. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114676008 312. http://dreamscape.org/ 313. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 314. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 315. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 316. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114669493 317. http://dreamscape.org/ 318. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 319. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 320. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 321. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114636678 322. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 323. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 324. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114636261 325. http://dreamscape.org/ 326. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 327. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 328. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 329. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114635673 330. http://dreamscape.org/ 331. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 332. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 333. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 334. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114634844 335. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 336. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 337. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114633150 338. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 339. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 340. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114598172 341. http://illusion.org/love.html 342. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 343. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 344. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114512556 345. http://dreamscape.org/ 346. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 347. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 348. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 349. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114508773 350. http://dreamscape.org/ 351. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 352. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 353. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 354. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114405874 355. http://dreamscape.org/ 356. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 357. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 358. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 359. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114389054 360. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 361. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 362. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114380554 363. http://dreamscape.org/ 364. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 365. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 366. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 367. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114371720 368. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 369. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 370. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114371635 371. http://dreamscape.org/ 372. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 373. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 374. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 375. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114329192 376. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 377. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 378. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114301773 379. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 380. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 381. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114301615 382. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 383. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 384. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114291135 385. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 386. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 387. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114228142 388. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 389. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 390. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114156480 391. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 392. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 393. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114155772 394. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 395. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 396. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114155556 397. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 398. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 399. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114154555 400. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 401. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 402. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114140552 403. http://dreamscape.org/ 404. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 405. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 406. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 407. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114079082 408. http://bash.org/?9081 409. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 410. http://dreamscape.org/ 411. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 412. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 413. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 414. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114078349 415. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 416. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 417. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1114067903 418. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 419. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 420. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1113970208 421. http://dreamscape.org/ 422. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 423. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 424. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 425. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1113957279 426. http://dreamscape.org/ 427. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 428. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 429. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 430. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1113775623 431. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 432. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 433. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1113693564 434. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 435. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 436. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1113629622 437. http://dreamscape.org/toolkit/ 438. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 439. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 440. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1113424666 441. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 442. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 443. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1113297822 444. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 445. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 446. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1113295027 447. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 448. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 449. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1113293081 450. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 451. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 452. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1113252989 453. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 454. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 455. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1113183194 456. http://www.joshuabridge.com/5times 457. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 458. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 459. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1113181814 460. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 461. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 462. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1113131816 463. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 464. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 465. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1113130071 466. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 467. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 468. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1113130039 469. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 470. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 471. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1113080790 472. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 473. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 474. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1113073338 475. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 476. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 477. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1113070045 478. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 479. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 480. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1113066397 481. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 482. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 483. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1113030835 484. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 485. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 486. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1113030053 487. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 488. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 489. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1113010150 490. http://dreamscape.org/toolkit/ 491. http://dreamscape.org/ 492. http://dreamscape.org/slf-card.jpg 493. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 494. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 495. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1112934964 496. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 497. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 498. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1112934021 499. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 500. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 501. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1112933456 502. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 503. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 504. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1112932827 505. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 506. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 507. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1112903747 508. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 509. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 510. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1112847864 511. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 512. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 513. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1112811370 514. http://dreamscape.org/card.php 515. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 516. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 517. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1112755402 518. http://dreamscape.org/ 519. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 520. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 521. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1112600000 522. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 523. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 524. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1112569152 525. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 526. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 527. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1112410469 528. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 529. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 530. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1112359369 531. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 532. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 533. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1112342886 534. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 535. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 536. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1112342221 537. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 538. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 539. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1112341979 540. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 541. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 542. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1112341148 543. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 544. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 545. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1112339947 546. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 547. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 548. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1112305469 549. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 550. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 551. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1112229771 552. http://www.atomfilms.com/af/spotlight/collections/starwars/ 553. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 554. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 555. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1112218618 556. http://dreamscape.org/ 557. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 558. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 559. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1112208929 560. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 561. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 562. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1112141545 563. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 564. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 565. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1112138958 566. http://dreamscape.org/ 567. http://dreamscape.org/ 568. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 569. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 570. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1112132228 571. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 572. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 573. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1112087545 574. http://dreamscape.org/ 575. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 576. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 577. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1112087136 578. http://dreamscape.org/ 579. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 580. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 581. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1112081048 582. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 583. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 584. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1112080812 585. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 586. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 587. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1112049371 588. http://dreamscape.org/ 589. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 590. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 591. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111926850 592. http://dreamscape.org/ 593. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 594. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 595. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111842903 596. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 597. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 598. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111828435 599. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 600. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 601. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111779999 602. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 603. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 604. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111779709 605. http://dreamscape.org/ 606. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 607. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 608. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111649067 609. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 610. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 611. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111624651 612. http://www.auburn.edu/~shephcd/whatyouare.html 613. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 614. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 615. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111566755 616. http://dreamscape.org/ 617. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 618. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 619. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111468542 620. http://dreamscape.org/ 621. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 622. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 623. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111464730 624. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 625. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 626. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111462664 627. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 628. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 629. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111461739 630. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 631. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 632. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111460628 633. http://dreamscape.org/ 634. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 635. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 636. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111459534 637. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 638. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 639. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111458513 640. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 641. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 642. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111456073 643. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 644. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 645. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111443911 646. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 647. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 648. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111391989 649. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 650. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 651. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111391280 652. http://dreamscape.org/ 653. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 654. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 655. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111380645 656. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 657. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 658. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111376315 659. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 660. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 661. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111375925 662. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 663. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 664. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111363068 665. http://dreamscape.org/ 666. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 667. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 668. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111361884 669. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 670. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 671. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111308079 672. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 673. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 674. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111281445 675. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 676. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 677. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111215299 678. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 679. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 680. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111215222 681. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 682. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 683. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111214256 684. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 685. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 686. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111213958 687. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 688. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 689. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111213797 690. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 691. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 692. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111213656 693. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 694. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 695. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111211023 696. http://dreamscape.org/ 697. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 698. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 699. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111210556 700. http://dreamscape.org/ 701. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 702. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 703. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111198189 704. http://www.tech.purdue.edu/Cgt/Courses/cgt411/covey/48_laws_of_power.htm 705. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 706. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 707. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111172243 708. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 709. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 710. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111172118 711. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 712. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 713. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111130345 714. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 715. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 716. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111121490 717. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 718. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 719. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111106146 720. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 721. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 722. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111099000 723. http://dreamscape.org/ 724. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 725. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 726. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111068952 727. http://dreamscape.org/steven-fountain.doc 728. http://dreamscape.org/steven-fountain.txt 729. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 730. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 731. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111048727 732. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 733. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 734. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111047474 735. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 736. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 737. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111046610 738. http://dreamscape.org/ 739. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 740. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 741. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1111037077 742. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 743. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 744. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110979229 745. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 746. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 747. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110961183 748. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 749. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 750. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110949058 751. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 752. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 753. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110948310 754. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 755. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 756. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110944851 757. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 758. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 759. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110913525 760. http://www.craigslist.org/sby/res/63890494.html 761. http://dreamscape.org/ 762. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 763. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 764. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110888023 765. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 766. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 767. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110868817 768. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 769. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 770. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110862097 771. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 772. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 773. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110860517 774. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 775. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 776. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110860238 777. http://dreamscape.org/swim/ 778. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 779. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 780. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110856814 781. http://dreamscape.org/ 782. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 783. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 784. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110849902 785. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110849902 786. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 787. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 788. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110843852 789. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 790. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 791. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110728916 792. http://www.francenehart.com/starry.htm 793. http://www.francenehart.com/index.html 794. http://dreamscape.org/reiki/ 795. http://www.ohhla.com/anonymous/ 796. http://dreamscape.org/anonymous/ 797. http://dreamscape.org/anonymous.tar.bz2 798. http://www.painterskeys.com/quotations.asp 799. http://dreamscape.org/quotations/ 800. http://dreamscape.org/quotations/quotes.tgz 801. http://dreamscape.org/ 802. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 803. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 804. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110716123 805. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 806. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 807. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110711550 808. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 809. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 810. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110703524 811. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 812. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 813. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110702889 814. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 815. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 816. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110701653 817. http://dreamscape.org/ 818. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 819. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 820. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110701160 821. http://dreamscape.org/ 822. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 823. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 824. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110698340 825. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 826. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 827. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110697555 828. http://dreamscape.org/ 829. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 830. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 831. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110697292 832. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 833. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 834. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110696969 835. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 836. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 837. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110696058 838. http://dreamscape.org/ 839. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 840. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 841. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110680666 842. http://people.pwf.cam.ac.uk/lwh21/machine/ 843. http://people.pwf.cam.ac.uk/lwh21/machine/machine.avi 844. http://dreamscape.org/ 845. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 846. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 847. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110636626 848. http://dreamscape.org/profile 849. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 850. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 851. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110618410 852. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 853. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 854. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110599150 855. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 856. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 857. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110544676 858. http://enraptured.dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1102818019 859. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 860. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 861. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110537631 862. http://enraptured.dreamscape.org/astro/campbell/ 863. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 864. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 865. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110529762 866. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 867. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 868. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110527162 869. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 870. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 871. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110526305 872. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 873. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 874. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110525339 875. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 876. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 877. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110525052 878. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 879. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 880. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110524968 881. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 882. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 883. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110523392 884. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 885. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 886. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110517760 887. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 888. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 889. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110512077 890. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 891. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 892. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110510733 893. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 894. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 895. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110504482 896. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 897. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 898. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110495898 899. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 900. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 901. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110493048 902. http://www.craigslist.org/sby/res/63199687.html 903. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 904. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 905. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110488596 906. http://dreamscape.org/ 907. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 908. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 909. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110444122 910. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 911. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 912. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110437780 913. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 914. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 915. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110422857 916. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 917. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 918. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110421494 919. http://dreamscape.org/ 920. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 921. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 922. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110401393 923. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 924. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 925. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110275130 926. http://www.edepot.com/tao2.html 927. http://zhongwen.com/dao.htm 928. http://dreamscape.org/ 929. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 930. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 931. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110261562 932. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 933. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 934. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110254000 935. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 936. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 937. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110240302 938. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110240302 939. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 940. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 941. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110236453 942. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 943. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 944. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110124175 945. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 946. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 947. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1110113026 948. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 949. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 950. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109893259 951. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 952. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 953. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109787085 954. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 955. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 956. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109782755 957. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 958. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 959. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109752958 960. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 961. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 962. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109752456 963. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 964. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 965. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109752323 966. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 967. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 968. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109739417 969. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 970. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 971. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109736710 972. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 973. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 974. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109728417 975. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 976. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 977. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109715021 978. http://dreamscape.org/ninja-of-change-in-yo-pocket.avi 979. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 980. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 981. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109707291 982. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 983. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 984. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109707126 985. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 986. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 987. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109704782 988. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 989. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 990. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109703615 991. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 992. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 993. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109703249 994. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 995. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 996. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109660921 997. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 998. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 999. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109651170 1000. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1001. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1002. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109650041 1003. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1004. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1005. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109649447 1006. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1007. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1008. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109648132 1009. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1010. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1011. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109646537 1012. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1013. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1014. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109645929 1015. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1016. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1017. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109644327 1018. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1019. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1020. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109643855 1021. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1022. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1023. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109643561 1024. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1025. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1026. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109643352 1027. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1028. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1029. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109642597 1030. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1031. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1032. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109641137 1033. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1034. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1035. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109637784 1036. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1037. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1038. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109637726 1039. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1040. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1041. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109635050 1042. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1043. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1044. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109568308 1045. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1046. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1047. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109539619 1048. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1049. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1050. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109370728 1051. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1052. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1053. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109299637 1054. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1055. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1056. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109289036 1057. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1058. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1059. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109223927 1060. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1061. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1062. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109223415 1063. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1064. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1065. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109222648 1066. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1067. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1068. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109207581 1069. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109207581 1070. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1071. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1072. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109196406 1073. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1074. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1075. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109193255 1076. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1077. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1078. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109191534 1079. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1080. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1081. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109191119 1082. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1083. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1084. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109190469 1085. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1086. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1087. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109124082 1088. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1089. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1090. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109112207 1091. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1092. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1093. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109110997 1094. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1095. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1096. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109109601 1097. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1098. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1099. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109109455 1100. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1101. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1102. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109107967 1103. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1104. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1105. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109065399 1106. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1107. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1108. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109044717 1109. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1110. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1111. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109044441 1112. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1113. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1114. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1109043652 1115. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1116. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1117. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108977314 1118. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1119. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1120. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108976899 1121. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1122. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1123. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108970891 1124. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1125. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1126. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108967500 1127. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1128. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1129. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108965861 1130. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1131. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1132. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108963182 1133. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1134. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1135. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108961791 1136. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1137. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1138. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108950469 1139. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1140. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1141. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108949369 1142. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1143. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1144. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108949246 1145. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1146. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1147. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108946986 1148. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1149. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1150. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108943466 1151. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108943466 1152. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1153. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1154. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108941645 1155. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1156. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1157. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108940041 1158. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1159. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1160. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108938991 1161. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1162. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1163. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108938233 1164. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1165. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1166. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108937926 1167. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1168. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1169. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108937418 1170. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1171. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1172. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108937203 1173. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1174. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1175. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108937015 1176. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1177. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1178. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108935258 1179. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1180. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1181. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108931943 1182. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1183. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1184. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108892471 1185. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1186. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1187. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108888671 1188. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1189. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1190. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108887330 1191. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1192. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1193. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108884689 1194. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1195. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1196. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108883723 1197. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1198. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1199. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108859305 1200. http://dreamscape.org/visualization.jpg 1201. http://dreamscape.org/code/tdpc-color2 1202. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1203. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1204. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108857054 1205. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1206. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1207. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108747678 1208. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1209. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1210. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108740092 1211. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1212. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1213. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108702325 1214. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1215. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1216. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108695506 1217. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1218. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1219. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108690954 1220. http://dreamscape.org/code/numerology 1221. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108690954 1222. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1223. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1224. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108684757 1225. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1226. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1227. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108683876 1228. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1229. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1230. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108681819 1231. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1232. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1233. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108681091 1234. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1235. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1236. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108680209 1237. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1238. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1239. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108678720 1240. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1241. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1242. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108676889 1243. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1244. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1245. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108676668 1246. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1247. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1248. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108672784 1249. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108672784 1250. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1251. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1252. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108665965 1253. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1254. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1255. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108609171 1256. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1257. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1258. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108572784 1259. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1260. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1261. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108560308 1262. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1263. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1264. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108559524 1265. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1266. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1267. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108558339 1268. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1269. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1270. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108555995 1271. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1272. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1273. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108553975 1274. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1275. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1276. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108547881 1277. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1278. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1279. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108429498 1280. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1281. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1282. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108429154 1283. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1284. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1285. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108427353 1286. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1287. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1288. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108423431 1289. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1290. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1291. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108421668 1292. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1293. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1294. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108421182 1295. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1296. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1297. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108420788 1298. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1299. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1300. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108418062 1301. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1302. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1303. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108417413 1304. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1305. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1306. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108416735 1307. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1308. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1309. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108416374 1310. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1311. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1312. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108416208 1313. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1314. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1315. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108383531 1316. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1317. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1318. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108380790 1319. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1320. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1321. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108380651 1322. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1323. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1324. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108380173 1325. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1326. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1327. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108379967 1328. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1329. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1330. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108378478 1331. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1332. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1333. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108378011 1334. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1335. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1336. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108377822 1337. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1338. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1339. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108377532 1340. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1341. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1342. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108376628 1343. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1344. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1345. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108376442 1346. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1347. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1348. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108376264 1349. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1350. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1351. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108375903 1352. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1353. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1354. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108375787 1355. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1356. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1357. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108375714 1358. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1359. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1360. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108375629 1361. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1362. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1363. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108374669 1364. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1365. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1366. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108373398 1367. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1368. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1369. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108363121 1370. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1371. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1372. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108349605 1373. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1374. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1375. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108347333 1376. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108347333 1377. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1378. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1379. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108287708 1380. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1381. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1382. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108286423 1383. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1384. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1385. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108260807 1386. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1387. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1388. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108248968 1389. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1390. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1391. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108241600 1392. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1393. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1394. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108207984 1395. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1396. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1397. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108200782 1398. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1399. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1400. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108199762 1401. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1402. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1403. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108196122 1404. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1405. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1406. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108195208 1407. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108195208 1408. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1409. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1410. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108172384 1411. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1412. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1413. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108118195 1414. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1415. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1416. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108101767 1417. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1418. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1419. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108096561 1420. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1421. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1422. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108087752 1423. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1424. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1425. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108085463 1426. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108085463 1427. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1428. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1429. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108083108 1430. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1431. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1432. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108072306 1433. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108072306 1434. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1435. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1436. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108068724 1437. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1438. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1439. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108068187 1440. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108068187 1441. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1442. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1443. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108066521 1444. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1445. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1446. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108065126 1447. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1448. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1449. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108021820 1450. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1451. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1452. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108017792 1453. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1454. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1455. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108014085 1456. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1457. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1458. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108012878 1459. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1460. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1461. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108003343 1462. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1463. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1464. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1108003277 1465. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1466. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1467. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107993371 1468. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107993371 1469. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1470. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1471. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107982973 1472. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107982973 1473. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1474. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1475. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107982021 1476. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1477. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1478. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107981897 1479. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1480. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1481. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107981806 1482. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1483. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1484. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107981564 1485. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1486. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1487. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107981187 1488. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1489. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1490. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107981092 1491. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1492. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1493. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107981030 1494. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1495. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1496. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107978421 1497. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1498. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1499. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107932755 1500. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1501. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1502. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107930411 1503. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1504. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1505. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107930150 1506. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1507. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1508. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107929662 1509. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1510. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1511. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107929518 1512. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107929518 1513. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1514. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1515. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107929066 1516. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1517. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1518. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107915227 1519. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107915227 1520. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1521. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1522. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107914540 1523. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1524. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1525. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107914324 1526. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1527. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1528. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107899333 1529. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1530. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1531. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107857186 1532. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1533. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1534. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107845904 1535. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1536. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1537. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107845799 1538. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1539. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1540. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107845666 1541. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1542. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1543. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107844499 1544. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1545. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1546. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107844171 1547. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1548. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1549. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107837757 1550. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1551. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1552. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107836209 1553. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1554. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1555. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107836051 1556. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1557. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1558. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107833322 1559. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1560. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1561. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107822699 1562. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1563. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1564. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107822329 1565. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107822329 1566. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1567. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1568. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107822201 1569. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1570. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1571. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107821997 1572. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1573. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1574. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107821760 1575. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1576. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1577. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107820688 1578. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1579. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1580. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107818294 1581. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1582. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1583. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107771058 1584. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1585. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1586. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107764763 1587. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1588. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1589. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107764277 1590. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1591. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1592. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107762246 1593. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1594. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1595. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107761271 1596. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1597. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1598. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107760987 1599. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1600. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1601. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107756971 1602. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1603. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1604. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107754321 1605. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1606. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1607. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107752582 1608. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1609. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1610. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107752012 1611. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1612. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1613. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107751617 1614. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1615. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1616. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107749928 1617. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1618. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1619. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107673458 1620. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1621. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1622. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107672741 1623. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1624. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1625. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107672601 1626. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1627. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1628. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107672456 1629. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1630. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1631. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107672120 1632. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1633. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1634. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107671372 1635. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1636. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1637. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107669713 1638. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1639. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1640. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107669371 1641. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1642. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1643. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107669035 1644. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1645. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1646. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107668485 1647. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1648. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1649. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107651128 1650. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1651. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1652. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107649954 1653. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1654. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1655. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107624820 1656. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1657. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1658. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107491663 1659. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1660. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1661. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107490184 1662. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1663. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1664. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107253474 1665. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1666. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1667. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107228912 1668. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107228912 1669. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1670. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1671. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107228292 1672. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1673. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1674. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107225589 1675. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1676. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1677. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107216848 1678. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1679. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1680. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107202173 1681. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1682. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1683. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107201833 1684. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107201833 1685. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1686. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1687. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107090750 1688. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1689. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1690. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107039079 1691. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1692. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1693. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1107039011 1694. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1695. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1696. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1106863187 1697. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1106863187 1698. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1699. mailto:slf@dreamscape.org 1700. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php/article/1106781503 1701. http://dreamscape.org/swim/index.php?op=user&user=slf 1702. mailto:slf@dreamscape.or